PLAYmG  THE  MISCHIEF. 


%  Noufl. 


By  J.  W.  DE  forest, 

AUTHOR  OF  "MISS   RAVENEL'S   CONVERSION   FROM   SECESSION  TO   LOYALTY, 
"EUROPEAN  ACQUAINTANCE,"  &c. 


NEW    YORK: 
HARPER    &     BROTHERS,    PUBLISHERS, 

FRANKLIN     SQUARE. 

iS75- 


By  J.  W.  DE  FOREST. 


MISS  RAVENEVS  CONVERSION  FROM  SECESSION  TO  10  V 
AITY.     121110,  Cloth,  $150. 

"A  most  brilliant  novel.  *  •  «  The  author's  keen  I  pei-soufil  observatiou,  would  hnve  insured  an  enter- 
wit,  tine  humor,  concise  and  tellinr;  style,,  fLUc",  ubo/e  t:\iulnjf  Cction,  e\en  with  materials  of  for  less  iutrin- 
all,  sincerity ;  his  evident  habit  cf  ^eein^'o'.ei'irly  ana  ri3  interest  than  those  contained  in  'Miss  Kavenel's 
narrating  faithfully  facts  that  l^ave  flalbnaiJidor  t^j  I  Conversion." 


E  UR  OPE  AN  A  CQ  UAINTANCE : 
i2mo.  Cloth,  $1  50. 

One  of  the  most  readable,  pleasant  volumes  upon 
Europe,  or  rather  upon  persons  there  encountered  by 
The  author,  published  for  some  time.  The  charm  of 
Mr.  De  Forest's  book  is  his  utter  want  of  pedantry. 


being  Sketches  of  People  in  Europe. 


lie  passes  over  what  is  called  classic  ground,  and 
avoids  referring  to  what  other  writers  have  said.  He 
conveys  his  own  impressions  iu  a  very  agreeable  man- 
ner.— Boston  Transcript. 


Published  by  HARPER  &  BROTHERS,  New  York. 

Seni  by  mail,  postage  prepaid,  to  any  part  cf  the  U.  S.  or  Canada,  on  receipt  of  the  price. 


Entered  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1S75,  by 

Harper  &   Brothers, 

In  the  Office  of  the  Librarian  of  Congress,  at  Washington. 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


CHAPTER  I. 

CATCHING  A  BEAU. 

JOSEPHIXE  MURRAY  was  oue  of  tliose 
youug  Avouieu  whom  every  body  likes 
very  Kiuch  on  a  lirst  acquaintauce. 

She  was  haiidsome  enough  to  make  it  an 
agreeable  pastime  to  look  at  her ;  and  her 
manners,  while  proper  and  lady-like,  were 
exceedingly  facile,  gracious,  and  winning,  if 
one  might  not  even  say  alluring ;  and,  fur- 
thermore, she  was  sufficiently  bright,  well- 
read,  well-traveled,  and  fluent  in  speech  to 
be  remarkably  entertaining;  and,  finally, 
she  was  gifted  with  a  coqiiettishness  which 
gave  her  a  iirompt  hold  upon  the  attention 
of  gentlemen. 

Because  of  these  attractions,  she  made 
chance  acquaintances  easily,  and  jjlt'fiscd 
them  greatly.  Never  did  she  journey  alone 
but  some  agreeable  stranger  was  drawn  to 
pay  her  some  notable  devoir  of  courtesy,  and 
to  do  his  boldest  and  cleverest  to  engage  her 
in  conversation. 

Xor  did  this  imjn-onqHti  admirer  ever  fail 
to  have  a  delightful  triji,  to  feel  that  he  was 
a  thoroughly  appreciated  individual,  to  part 
from  his  companion  of  an  hour  with  regret, 
and  to  think;  of  her  many  times  a  day  for 
weeks  afterward.  Nor,  indeed,  was  it  un- 
oommon  for  him  to  confess  and  affirm  to  his 
bosom  friends  that,  if  ever  he  met  that  lady 
again,  he  should  certainly  marry  her. 

In  fact,  Josephine  Murray  had  a  wonder- 
ful faculty  not  only  for  making  people  like 
her  on  short  notice,  but  also  for  leading 
them  to  believe  that  she  reciprocated  the 
yearning.  Her  passing  flirtatious  had  a 
semblance  of  being  love  at  flrst  sight,  and 
love,  too,  of  an  impulsive,  unreflecting,  fas- 
cinated, life-long  nature. 

When  she  conversed  there  was  a  mobility 
of  expression  in  her  delicate  features,  and  a 
quick,  nervons  swaying  and  starting  in  her 
graceful  ligure,  which  made  her  seem  charm- 
ingly impressionable.  It  was  not  easj'  for 
a  man  to  resist  the  sweet  eagerness  with 
which  she  talked  to  him,  and  the  air  of  ap- 
preciative, sensitive  interest  with  which  she 
listened  to  him,  and  the  seeming  tenderness 
with  which  her  liquid  black  eyes  gazed  at 
him. 


After  an  hour  or  so  of  exposure  to  these 
witcheries  he  was  generally  ready  to  say 
that  he  sliould  have  to  marry  her  some  day  ; 
not  in  the  least  doubting  but  that  she  would 
give  herself  to  him  for  the  asking,  dropping 
her  trustful  head  upon  his  bosom  in  the 
thankfulest  manner. 

On  the  occasion  of  her  present  journey, 
which  was  a  trij)  by  the  day-train  from  New- 
York  to  Washington,  Josephine  had  embez- 
zled the  admiration  and  attentions  of  that 
eminent  member  of  Congress,  the  Honorable 
G.  W.  Hollowbread. 

Mr.  Hollowbread,  wo  ought  to  state,  was 
easily  caught  by  womankind,  for  nature  had 
given  him  a  keen  hankering  after  tliat  sure- 
ly unparalleled  dainty,  and  he  had  rather 
increased  than  diminished  the  aiipetite  by 
long  indulgence.  He  was  over  tifty  year^ 
old ;  in  fiict,  we  may  as  well  confess  at  onct- 
that  he  was  fully  sixty ;  yet  not  a  session 
passed  over  his  comely,  iron-gray  head  with- 
out crowning  it  with  some  fresh  flirtation. 
In  all  Congress  there  was  not  another  eld- 
erly or  middle-aged  gentleman  who  did  so 
much  love-making. 

It  was  easy  to  discover  signs  of  Jlr.  IIol- 
lowbread's  sweetness  and  strength  of  tem- 
perament in  his  face  and  person.  He  was  a 
darkly  florid  man,  with  crimson  veins  in  his 
shapely,  solid  cheeks ;  his  eyelids  drooping 
straight  across  the  pupils  of  his  black,  set- 
tled, ardent  and,  one  might  say,  heated  eyes ; 
his  princely,  aquiline  iu)so  somewhat  over- 
full at  the  end,  as  if  bloated  with  luxury; 
his  lower  lip  rather  too  plump  also,  and 
slightly  inclining  to  be  pendulous  ;  his  head 
large  enough  in  the  brow,  but  still  larger 
behind  the  ears ;  his  grizzled  neck  extraor- 
dinarily thick  and  massive. 

As  for  his  figure,  people  who  could  put 
up  with  a  considerable  circumference,  and 
who  did  not  insist  upon  statuesque  length 
and  sinewlness  of  ilmb,  usually  spoke  of  it 
as  iiortly,  tine,  handsome.  He  certainly  held 
up  his  face  nobly,  walked  with  an  old-stylo 
st.ateliness  far  more  impressive  than  tlie  gait 
of  modern  days,  and  had  an  air  which  fre- 
quently made  strangers  turn  to  gaze  at  him, 
querying  if  he  were  not  one  of  the  great 
ones   of  the  earth.     Ho  looked  intelligent 


R  «^  OiO-O/fllgivise.  and,  in  truth,  was  a  man  of  uucom- 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


mon  natural  parts,  aud  would  probably  hare 
cut  a  very  notable  figure  in  our  political 
world,  cilYy  that  h^  vtm^  S^'i^^7>W^y  hampered 
by  love  ctpleasurCj  fVnfl  byiLizipess. 

Being  tbe'  b'bsei-ving'nlan'  tMt  be  was  in  re- 
gard to  >v,qmaKlsi'Ad',^Ii"v  Hollo wb^esid  began 
to  takje  ;j;uiniyto',nMo:of  Jc^ofdyno^SMurray 
almost  as  feo-or(  aS  'be  lafd*  fe j-^s  o'n  'lier.  He 
quickly  became  conscious  of  that  charm  of 
allurement,  that  indescribable  something  ap- 
proaching to  invitation,  which  exhaled  from 
her  manner. 

He  wanted  to  fix  her  attention,  to  enter 
into  some  sort  of  communication  with  her, 
to  get  near  her.  Aud  get  near  her  he  pres- 
ently did,  quitting  the  seat  which  bo  had  at 
first  selected,  and  moving  to  another  of  more 
blessed  proximity. 

What  manner  of  woman  was  she  ?  She 
looked  like  a  lady  of  culture  and  refinement, 
and  yet  she  looked  capable  of  a  railroad 
flirtation.  She  gazed  about  her  at  people  a 
good  deal,  and  at  himself  she  had  glanced 
three  or  four  times. 

Mr.  Hollowbread,  once  a  very  handsome 
man,  aud  as  yet  unable  to  judge  himself 
elderly,  easily  drew  encouragement  from 
such  gossamer  circumstances.  He  began  to 
hope  that  she  was  goiug  to  Wasbington  to 
beg  for  a  clerkship,  and  that  he  had  only  to 
announce  himself  as  a  Congressman  to  be 
received  with  favor. 

He  bad  just  prepared  his  little  introduc- 
tory speech  about  the  weather,  with  a  sub- 
sequent remark  concerning  the  splendor  of 
palace -cars,  when  two  passing  gentlemen 
X)0unced  upon  him. 

"  How  are  you,  Hollowbread  ?"  demanded 
one  of  them,  iu  a  loud,  hard,  hammering 
voice,  at  the  same  time  slapping  his  shoul- 
der with  a  hand  like  a  mallet.  "Always 
among  the  ladies,  eh  ?"  he  added,  emitting 
two  harsh  snorts  of  a  horse-laugh.  "  I  told 
Beauman  we  should  find  you  here." 

Mr.  Hollowbread  had  started  smartly,  for 
the  salutation  had  been  rousiugly  vociferous, 
and  the  slap  rude  enough  to  sting  his  fat 
back. 

His  tone  was  a  little  plaintive,  and  even 
a  little  remonstrative,  as  be  answered : 

"  Oh  !  is  that  you,  Mr.  Drummond  ?" 

Moreover,  he  put  forth  two  pudgy  fingers 
in  a  dilatory,  cooling  way,  which  was  equiv- 
alent to  saying,  "  Shake,  if  you  must,  aud 
then  get  along." 

Mr.  Drummond  smiled  with  insolent  glee, 
took  the  two  dougby  digits  between  two  of 
his  own,  and  immediately  drojipcd  them. 

He  was  clearly  a  man  not  easy  to  aba.sh, 
aud  prompt  at  rendering  scoff  for  scorn.  Ho 
was  a  bold  spirit  also  in  otber  ways,  for  his 
wide-open  eyes  were  already  settled  upon 
Josephine  Murray's  face,  and  ho  did  not 
withdraw  tlicm  until  he  had  i)ut  her  out  of 
countenance. 

As  for  ber,  she  had  looked  up  quickly  at 


the  mention  of  bis  name,  as  if  it  were  a 
name  of  much  interest  to  her.  And  so  it 
was,  for  she  was  journeying  to  Washington 
on  business  which  required  the  good  offices 
of  Congressmen,  aud  the  member  from  her 
district  was  one  Mr.  Sykes  Drummond. 

She  did  not  know  him  by  sight  from 
Adam,  and  this  might  be  the  very  man.  Iu 
one  instant  she  had  judged  him  by  his  looks, 
and  had  decided  that  he  might  be  endured 
as  an  acquaintance  if  he  would  serve  as  an 
advocate. 

He  was  about  thirty  years  old,  broad- 
shouldered,  aud  otherwise  strongly  built, 
with  a  virile,  audacious,  trooper  -  like  face, 
and  a  devil-may-care,  imgnacious  bearing. 
His  forehead  was  large,  aud  over  the  eyes 
singularly  prominent ;  his  nose  was  Eoman, 
his  chin  vigorously  defined,  aud  his  jaws 
powerful.  His  complexion  was  dark,  pallid, 
and  yet  seemingly  healthy  ;  his  black  coarse 
hair  was  long  and  abundant.  There  was  an 
interesting,  and  one  might  even  say  a  fasci- 
nating, expression  of  mirthful  recklessness 
about  his  flexible  moutb,  which  was  the 
handsomest  feature  of  his  countenance,  aud 
was  indeed  really  haudsome.  On  the  whole, 
and  taking  into  special  consideration  his  ap- 
pearance of  puissant  virility,  be  wouldbe  call- 
ed an  extremely  good-lookiug  man — at  least 
by  those  who  like  the  Eobert-the-Devil  type. 

Meautime  Mr.  Hollowbread  had  exchauged 
friendly  salutations  with  Beauman,  an  olive- 
complexioued  dandy  of  about  Drumuiond's 
age,  whose  beauty  and  air  of  repose  remind- 
ed one  of  the  Apolliuo,  aud  who  looked  about 
as  ill-fitted  to  grind  in  the  mill  of  American 
life. 

"And  so  you  are  going  as  Minister  to 
Spain?"  said  the  Congressman.  "I  am 
heartily  glad  to  hear  it.  We  need  a  gentle- 
man there,  if  only  for  a  changed  Our  last 
man  at  Madrid  annoyed  people  by  wetting 
his  thumb  iu  his  mouth  when  he  dealt  cards 
at  wbist." 

"I  don't  feel  so  sure  of  Spain,"  smiled 
Beauman.  "  I  rather  think  I  shall  only  get 
a  castle  there." 

"  What  do  the  New  York  Exchange  bum- 
mers say  to  your  bill  for  unlocking  tbe  cur- 
rency reserve  ?"  interrupted  Drummond. 

"I  don't  know  in  the  least;  I  have  only 
been  to  Baltimore,"  replied  Hollowbx'cad, 
coutinuing  to  look  quite  unhajipy  at  Mr. 
Drummond's  sticking  to  him. 

'•I  sha'n't  support  you.  It's  a  iioinilar 
whim  just  now,  but  a  year  hence  it  will  bo 
considered  a  blunder.  A  fellow  must  keep 
his  feelers  out  for  his — well,  his  re-election." 

Aud  here  Drummond  haw-hawed  loudly, 
as  if  there  were  a  delicious  liumor  iu  this 
co.arso  confession  of  mere  egotism. 

"  If  the  public  dislikes  the  working  of  tlie 
bill,  I  shall  be  ready  to  move  for  its  repeal," 
said  Mr.  Hollowbread,  with  a  brevity  aud 
iilooui  which  seemed  to  discourage  continued 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


9 


discussion  of  tlio  subject,  or  further  couver- 
sation  of  auy  uatiire. 

"Just  so  —  haw!  haw!"  laughed  Druin- 
nioud,  superciliously  satirical.  "  It's  a  good 
plau  to  take  the  advice  of  the  iiublic — haw! 
haw! — ouly  it's  a  better  plau  to  foresee  it 
aud  take  it  before  it  comes — haw !  haw !" 

Mr.  Druuimoud  certainly  had  a  very  ir- 
ritating laugh,  and  wo  may  as  well  state 
here  that  it  made  him  enemies.  In  a  gen- 
eral way  iieoplc  do  not  like  to  bo  overcrow- 
ed and  put  down  by  mere  boisterousuess  of 
gufiawing.  I  do  not  think  that  ho  habit- 
ually meant  to  hurt  the  feelings  of  his  fel- 
low-men. lie  purposed  mainly,  so  far  as  ho 
had  a  iiurpose,  to  call  attention  to  his  own 
superior  wisdom  or  wit,  and  moi-eover  his 
cachiuuation  resulted  partly  from  mere  im- 
pulse aud  superfluous  animal  force.  But  all 
the  same,  ho  did  frequently  ii-ritato  people, 
besides  getting  the  harmful  repute  of  being 
a  bear  in  manners. 

"Is  Brother  Bradford — Aristides  Cato 
Bradford — aboard  ?"  continued  Drummond, 
seeing  that  HoUowbread  was  indisposed  to 
discuss  the  currency  question,  and  indeed 
not  cariug  a  straw  to  hear  him  discuss  it. 

"I  believe  ho  is  in  the  smoking-car,"  re- 
sponded HoUowbread,  quite  lighted  up  with 
the  hope  of  getting  shut  of  his  guft'awing 
friend.  "If  you  will  look  about  there,  I 
think  you  will  easily  fiud  him." 

"Come  along,  Beaumau,"  said  Drum- 
mond ;  "  good-morning,  HoUowbread ;  luck 
to  you  I" 

And  with  a  knowing,  impudent  glance  at 
Josephine  Murray — a  glance  which  seemed 
to  say  that  the  next  time  he  met  her  ho 
should  speak  to  her — ho  tramped  away. 

Beaunian,who  had  seemed  to  bo  a  trifle 
ashamed  of  his  ursine  companion,  raised  his 
hat  to  Mr.  HoUowbread,  and  also  departed. 

Our  mature  Congressional  beau  was  now 
once  more  at  liberty  to  light  up  a  conversa- 
tion with  his  pretty  fellow-traveler.  But 
his  mind  had  been  considerably  perturbed 
by  Drummond's  rude  assault  upon  his  shoul- 
ders, his  currency  scheme,  and  his  self-re- 
spect ;  and  he  could  not  at  once  get  himself 
into  a  frame  of  spirit  sufficiently  tender  and 
alert  for  the  requirements  of  even  a  railway 
flirtation. 

While  he  tried  to  collect  his-wits  and  sen- 
timents, Josei:)hine  was  surveying  him,  cau- 
tiously but  wistfully.  She  had  been  inter- 
ested in  him  from  the  moment  she  learned 
that  ho  was  a  member  of  Congress.  She 
had  glanced  at  the  Honorable  Drummond 
with  even  greater  interest,  and  she  had  quite 
started  at  hearing  the  name  of  the  Honora- 
ble Bradford.  Here  were  just  the  principal- 
ities aud  powers  whom  she  would  need  for 
allies  when  she  should  commence  her  con- 
jurings  in  Washington.  She  was  not  ac- 
customed to  be  the  first  to  si)eak  when  she 
made  her  traveling  acquaintanceships.     In 


general  it  was  ouly  necessary  for  her  to  turn 
l;cr  graceful  head  a  few  times,  and  to  flash 
Iier  lustrous  eyes  hither  and  thither,  in  or- 
di'r  to  see  some  bewitched  male  creature  flut- 
ter toward  her,  settle  ^'ithin  chippcring  dis- 
tance, and  open  his  eager  bill.  But  hero 
was  a  chance  to  win  jiotent  friends  which 
she  must  not  let  slip,  nor  waste  through  fas- 
tidious dalliance.  She  decided  to  volunteer 
a  hail  to  this  venerable  legislator  who  was 
so  obviously  trying  to  drift  in  her  direc- 
tion. 

"Aro  yon  going  through  to  Washington, 
sir?"  she  asked,  in  a  clear  soprano  voice,  as 
light  and  fresh  and  sweet  as  a  bird,  aud  all  ^ 
the  nicer  for  singing  from  that  rosy  nest,  her 
prettj-  month. 

"  I  am,"  smiled  and  bowed  Mr.  Hollow- 
bread,  quite  delighted  with  the  invitation 
to  speak,  as  such  an  old  beau  must  be.  "  Can 
I  be  of  service  to  yon  on  the  way,  or  there  ? 
It  will  give  mo  very  great  pleasure." 

"  I  wished  to  ask  if  I  should  have  auy 
difficulty  in  finding  respectable  hackmea  to 
take  me  about  the  city,"  said  Josephine. 

"  I  will  see  that  you  find  such  a  one,  if 
you  will  allow  me,"  declared  Mr.  Hollow- 
bread. 

"  I  thank  you  very  ranch,"  smiled  Joseph- 
ine, with  a  little  bow  and  flutter,  clearly  as 
grateful  as  man  could  desire.  "  I  had  been 
told  that  the  Washington  hackmcn  are  so 
awkward  to  deal  with!  Too  knowing  in 
the  ways  of  their  world.  An  overmatch  for 
strangers." 

"  They  are  rather  stupid  than  knavish," 
responded  our  legislator,  Avho  did  not  hesi- 
tate to  speak  demeaniugly  of  them,  they  not 
being  his  constituents.  "  Many  of  them  are 
negroes  who  are  unable  to  read,  aud  don't 
know  one  number  from  another." 

"  I  have  often  heard  of  you,  Mr.  Hollow- 
bread,"  continued  Josephine,  slipping  away 
from  a  subject  which  was  of  no  consequence 
to  her,  and  hastening  on,  as  one  may  say,  to 
business;  "I  am  glad  that  I  have  met  yon, 
even  in  this  unceremonious  way." 

"If  I  had  known  what  a  pleasure  await- 
ed me  here,  I  should  not  have  staid  so  loug 
in  the  smoking-car,"  was  the  surely  praise- 
worthy response  of  the  Congressman.  He 
knew  that  it  was  a  pretty  compliment,  for 
he  had  previously  delivered  it  with  good  ef- 
fect to  other  chance  acquaintances,  aud  had 
meditated  cousidcrably  upon  tho  neatness 
and  pith  of  it.  Ah  !  what  advantages  these 
beans  of  immemorial  experience  have  over 
men  who  have  done  very  little  iu  tho  way  of 
gallantry ! 

"  You  are  too  good  to  tell  nio  so,"  nodded 
Josephine,  flashing  her  bright  young  optics 
at  tho  old  gallant,  aud  flashing  them  will- 
fully, knowingly,  and  with  malico  afore- 
thought. 

Mr.  HoUowbread  was  encouraged ;  this 
handsome  creature  was  really  making  eyes 


10 


PLAYING  THE  mSCHIEF. 


at  liim;  lie  decided  that  he  might  safely 
and  wisely  move  nearer. 

"This  intolerable  rumble  of  the  cars!" 
he  complained.  "  If  you  Avill  permit,  I  will 
take  a  seat  where  we  can  hear  each  other 
more  distinctly." 

They  were  in  a  palace-car,  and  it  was  very 
still  indeed,  so  that  there  was  no  difficulty 
whatever  in  hearing ;  but  Josephine  wanted 
to  make  things  entirely  pleasant  for  her  Con- 
gressman, and  she  sighed  out,  with  an  allur- 
ing smile,  "  So  dreadfully  noisy  !" 

Thereupon  Mr.  Hollowbread  arose,  bal- 
anced himself  as  large  men  often  have  to 
do,  journeyed  with  bulky  dignity  across  the 
alley,  and  installed  himself  within  arms- 
length  of  his  prey.  It  is  amusing  to  think 
that  this  able  wire-puller  and  veteran  tlirt 
did  not  by  any  means  see  both  sides  of  his 
present  situation.  It  did  not  so  much  as 
cross  his  statesman -like  mind  that,  from 
this  young  lady's  point  of  view,  he  was  the 
mouse,  and  she  the  cat.  Josephine,  on  the 
contrary,  who  was  by  nature  i^reternatural- 
ly  and  almost  diabolically  knowing  in  the 
matter  of  coquetry,  guessed  accurately  that 
the  elderlj^  magnate  intended  to  make  some 
sort  of  a  conqiiest  of  her.  There  was  just  one 
item  of  his  behavior  which  she  was  not  old 
enough  to  understand,  or  even  to  note.  She 
did  not  divine  why  he  so  promptly  let  down 
the  window -blind  immediately  behind  his 
legislative  cranium.  It  was  to  hide  the 
cloudings  of  gray  Avhich  lurked  underneath- 
the  well-oiled  waves  of  his  ebony,  or  rather 
plumbago-colored,  hair. 

"This  begins  to  have  the  air  of  a  confession- 
al," said  Josephine,  with  a  gay  little  laugh, 
which  had  not  a  particle  of  protest  in  it,  and 
which  was  consequently  very  insi)iriting. 

"  I  shall  be  most  happy  to  confess  to  you," 
simpered  Hollowbread,  with  the  cheerful  air 
of  a  man  who  sees  his  way  clearly,  and  likes 
the  look  of  it. 

A  faint  Hush  came  into  Josephine's  smooth 
cheek,  and  the  slightest  possible  spark  flash- 
ed from  her  fine  eyes.  Ordinarily,  a  young 
lassie  does  not  know  what  to  do  with  an 
"  auld  man,"  and  feels  both  disgust  and  in- 
dignation when  she  finds  herself  courted  by 
one.  But  this  young  lassie  was  as  wise  as 
a  serpent,  and  she  stilled  her  annoyance  with 
admirable  i)romptness. 

"  Oh,  no !"  she  giggled,  perhaps  a  little 
nervously.  "xVt  all  events,  I  must  have  the 
first  chance  to  say  what  weighs  upon  my 
mind." 

"It  is  impossible  that  it  should  bo  any 
thing  bad !" 

"  No,  it  is  nothing  bad." 

"And  it  must  bo  something  good." 

"  But  it  may  bo  very  tiresome  to  hear." 

"  I  hope  and  beg  that  you  will  put  mo  to 
the  proof." 

"  I  shall.  But,  perhaps,  not  to-day.  The 
greatest  of  all  days  is  to-morrow." 


"  There  is  a  time  for  all  things,  and  the 
best  time  is  right  away." 

"  Sometimes  it  is  the  best  time  for  hold- 
ing one's  tongue." 

"But  life  will  be  a  burden  to  me  until  I 
hear  this  wonderful  confession." 

"Then  you  must  make  sure,  if  you  want 
to  live,  to  keep  up  the  acquaintance." 

"I  shall  devote  my  existence  to  it,  if  you 
permit." 

"AVho  wouldn't  permit  it?  Perhaps  I 
came  to  Washington  for  that  alone." 

Now  this  was  rather  lively  dialogue  for 
Mr.  Hollowbread ;  he  was  not  accustomed 
to  such  cantering  repartee.  He  was  a  slow 
man  in  body  given  to  husky  breathing,  and 
notably  short-winded  ;  and  his  mind  was  so 
far  similar,  that,  while  he  could  make  an 
excellent  speech,  any  thing  like  debate  dis- 
tressed him.  Moreover,  although  a  Wash- 
ington beau  of  much  practice,  he  had  not 
been  accustomed  to  meet  with  the  cleverest 
of  women,  so  that  this  easy  x^rattler  both 
astonished  and  bothered  him.  Meanwhile 
she  liked  it ;  felt  not  a  bit  the  worse  for  her 
spurt  of  dialogue ;  was  ready  to  galloi)  aloiig 
in  that  way  an  hour  or  two. 

But  she  had  thoroughly  roused  his  inter- 
est and  his  strongest  curiosity.  He  won- 
dered with  all  his  wits  who  she  was,  and 
whether  she  really  had  a  confession  of  im- 
portance to  make,  and  whether  she  would 
make  it  to  him.  It  is  astonishing,  by-the- 
way,  how  rapidly  two  experienced  flirts  can 
become  intimate.  Mr.  Hollowbread  had  not 
talked  with  Josephine  fiv^minutes,  and  yet 
he  felt  as  if  he  had  been  acquainted  with 
her  for  years,  and  was  resolved  not  to  lose 
sight  of  her  until  he  had  seen  much  more  of 
her. 


CHAPTER  II. 

SENDING  FOR  MORE  BEAUS. 

Yes,  notwithstanding  the  searing  of  mauj- 
flirtatious,  Mr.  Hollowbread  was  much  inter- 
ested in  Josephine ;  and  notwithstanding  an 
extensive  and  painstaking  study  of  woman- 
kind, he  was  at  least  equally  puzzled  by  her. 

That  she  could  not  bo  a  needy  female  of 
plebeian  bringing-up,  humbly  intent  on  some 
crumb  of  a  clerkshij)  in  the  Treasury,  he  had 
already  perceived.  This  fact,  indeed,  he  had 
not  been  able  to  settle  upon  firmly  by  dint 
of  mere  optical  study. 

True,  it  was  obvious  enough  that  she  had 
good  clothes  and  a  stylish  air;  but  then 
American  women  of  all  classes  arc  apt  to 
caparison  tlicniselves  well,  and  to  possess 
some  refinement  of  bearing  and  expression  ; 
and  even  our  representative  of  the  people 
had  occasiojially  been  beguiled  into  tempo- 
rarily respecting  a  milliner  as  if  she  were 
the  daughter  of  a  social  grandee  ;  a  sort  of 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


11 


blunder,  by-tbe-way,  wbicb  mortified  bim, 
even  -nheu  be  liked  tbe  milliner. 

But  before  Josepbiuo  bad  uttei'cd  five  sen- 
tences be  bad  taken  note  of  ber  cultivated 
voice,  and  bad  set  ber  down  for  a  lady. 
Tbere  was  no  mistaking  tbat  neat,  distinct, 
musical,  deligbtfiil  enunciation,  witbout  a 
stammer  of  awkwardness  or  a  mince  of  af- 
fectation. It  was  as  diliereut,  bo  tbougbt, 
from  tbe  wbiuing,  drawling  and  mumbling 
of  tbe  lowly  bred  as  is  tbe  step  of  a  gentle- 
man from  tbe  sbuftle  of  a  clod-bopper. 
\  Nevertbeless,  be  bad  observed  (witb  satis- 
jfaction,  we  may  add)  tbat  sbe  was  an  auda- 
cious flirt.  He  could  not  quite  understand 
bow  sbe  could  belong  on  tbe  select  beigbts 
of  society  and  yet  coquet  witb  bim  so  prompt- 
ly and  forwardly  as  sbe  bad  done.  It  occur- 
red to  bim  tbat  sbe  migbt  be  making  game 
of  bim  ;  and  tbis  tbougbt  led  bim  to  glance 
at  ber  once  suspiciously  and  almost  sternly. 

He  knew  tbat  be  Avas  elderly,  and  tbat 
young  people  often  scoff  at  old  beans  ;  and 
consequently  be  felt  a  little — ^just  a  little — 
sby  of  being  drawn  into  positions  wbicb 
migbt  subject  bim  to  rebuffs  ;  for  rebuffs  be 
had  sometimes  encountered,  even  in  office- 
worsbiping  AVasbington.  Once — and  bis 
honorable  blood  boiled  as  be  remembered  it 
— a  mere  Treasury  girl  bad  slapped  bis  face 
for — for  just  nothing  at  all,  as  he  put  it  to 
himself. 

But  on  second  thoughts  it  did  not  seem 
possible  tbat  this  gracious  and  iiatrician 
creature  would  beguile  a  mature  stranger 
into  conversation  with  the  vulgar  intent  of 
giving  bim  a  humiliation.  Sbe  must  have 
had  some  serious  purpose  in  volunteering 
speech,  in  alluring  him  onward  with  tbat 
intimate  tone  of  gayety,  and  in  hinting  at 
a  confidence,  so  that  be  felt  encouraged  to 
continue  tbe  dialogue  and  to  give  it  a  cant 
toward  love-making. 

On  the  whole,  he  felt  safer  in  adventuring 
with  ladies  than  with  women  of  low  degree. 
Tbe  former  were  clever  enough  to  divine  him 
without  blunt  explanations,  and  they  would 
know  bow  to  check  him  without  imnchiug 
his  head. 

"  Of  course,"  he  said  to  himself — "  of  course 
sbe  wants  somctltiug,  and  I  shall  have  to  get 
it  for  her.  I  wonder  if  it  will  cost  me  much 
trouble  ?"  he  grumblingly  added,  for  he  was 
an  indolent  ohl  public  functionary,  and  hated 
to  pay  for  even  bis  coquetries  in  hard  work. 

"  I  am  most  anxious,  perhaps  I  may  ven- 
ture to  say  impetuously  anxious,  to  know 
what  your  confession  can  be  about,"  be  con- 
tinued, aloud,  looking  at  Josephine  with  a 
sort  of  trained  and  veteran  teiulerness,  such 
as  sexagenarian  eyes  are  capable  of. 

"And  I  want  very  much  to  have  you  want 
to  know  it,"  she  laughed,  prettily.  "AYben 
I  think  that  your  curiosity  is  really  intoler- 
able, then  perhaps  I  will  tell  yon  something." 

"  There  is  no  use  iu  rubbing  a  match  which 


is  already  lighted,"  ho  said.  "  You  are  more 
likely  to  put  it  out  than  to  make  it  buru 
better." 

Josepbiuo  knew  a  clever  speech  when  she 
heard  it,  aud  she  admired  clever  speeches 
very  much.  She  was  so  pleased  with  Hol- 
lowbread's  simile  of  tbe  ligbtcd  match,  that 
she  felt  tempted  to  reward  him  for  it  by 
telling  bim  ber  secret  at  once.  But  on  sec- 
ond thoughts  it  seemed  wisest  not  to  con- 
fide such  a  weighty  matter  to  bim  until  she 
knew  bim  better  and  could  entirely  trust  his 
good-will. 

"Tbat  is  very  well," she  nodded  with  her 
intelligent  little  bead  iu  an  approving  man- 
ner. "Tbat  is  just  as  nicely  said  as  can 
be.  But  you  must  keep  alight  a  few  days 
longer.  When  we  meet  again — Avben  socie- 
ty has  introduced  us  ceremoniously — then  I 
will  see." 

"  But  how  am  I  to  look  you  np  and  plead 
for  tbis  introduction  unless  I  kuow  your 
name  ?" 

"  My  name  is — do  you  think  I  am  going  to 
say  Norval  ? — no,  it  is  Murray." 

Mr.  Hollowhread  bowed  reverentially,  but 
he  looked  a  little  blank.  Of  the  hundred 
thousand  souls  of  Washington,  be,  of  course, 
knew  only  a  few  hundred,  aud  he  could  not, 
at  the  moment,  remember  that  any  one  of 
them  was  a  Murray. 

"  I  suppose  that  you  political  people  are 
rarely  acquainted  with  clergymen." 

"  We  are  most  anxious  to  be  acquainted 
with  them.  Slander  asserts  that  we  neeil 
their  intimacy." 

"  I  am  a  niece  of  the  Eeverend  John  Mur- 
ray, of  St.  Albans." 

Mr.  Hollowhread  bowed  again  ;  here  was 
solid  social  footing  at  last;  here  was  un- 
clouded respectability. 

"  I  shall  hereafter  hear  him  preach  every 
Sunday,"  he  said,  witb  decorous  gayety. 

"  I  wouldn't,  if  I  were  you.  He  is  a  good 
and  nice  man,  but  he  isn't  at  bis  best  iu 
preaching." 

"  I  shall  at  least  have  the  pleasure  of  look- 
ing at  his  fiimily  i)ew,"  added  Mr.  Hollow- 
bread,  smiling  pointedly  at  the  young  lady 
who  would  be  one  of  the  occuxiauts  of  that 
iuclosure. 

"The  family  pew  shall  show  what  grati- 
tude pews  can  feel." 

Mr.  Hollowhread,  despite  of  all  his  season- 
ing experiences  with  womanhood,  began  to 
be  afraid  of  this  young  creature.  Sbe  was 
so  self-possessed,  so  prompt  in  reply,  and,  as 
it  seemed  to  him,  so  clever,  tbat  she  was 
downright  alarming.  She  had  as  yet  said 
nothing  disagreeable;  but  suppose  sbe  should 
try  her  adroit  vrits  at  that  business  ?  It  was 
clear  enough  to  bim  that  if  she  chose  to  be 
satirical  she  could  take  tbe  skin  off.  Never- 
theless, her  manner  was  so  lady-like,  and  her 
smilo  was  so  encouraging,  that  he  ventured 
one  more  advance : 


12 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


"I  dou't  sec  how  looking  at  the  rector's 
pew  will  enable  me  to  call  at  the  rector's 
house." 

'•'Xor  I,"  she  laughed,  and  continued  to 
watch  him  roguishly;  but  with  a  roguish- 
uess  which  was  very  enticing. 

"  I  shall  have  to  discover  some  friend  who 
knows  the  family,  and  who  will  do  me  the 
great  favor  of  presenting  me." 

"I  hope  you  will  not  find  it  difficult," re- 
Sjionded  the  audacious  Josei)hine. 

'■  No  obstacles  shall  balk  me,"  affirmed  Mr. 
HoUowbread,  absolutely  coloring— the  de- 
lighted old  lady-killer — with  pride  and  ideas- 
ure. 

After  that  there  was  much  further  talk, 
all  of  an  agreeable,  amicable  nature,  and 
some  of  it  quite  flattering  to  HoUowbread. 
It  was  a  long  time  since  he  had  had  such  an 
exciting,  fascinating  adventure  with  such  a 
young  and  pretty  and  bright  and  aristocratic 
woman.  To  be  sure,  he  did  not  yet  know  at 
all  what  he  was  to  do  with  her,  nor  quite  what 
he  wanted  to  do.  Youthful  as  she  was,  she 
could  hardly  think  of  being  his  wife ;  and, 
on  his  part,  he  had  not  the  least  notion  of 
getting  married.  In  fact,  he  hardly  looked 
into  the  future  at  all ;  he  was  simply  bask- 
ing in  the  coquettish  present.  It  was  deli- 
cious to  be  saying  nice  things  to  a  lovely  lady 
of  not  more  than  twenty-two,  who  did  not 
resent  or  repel  or  evade  his  elderly  courtship 
a  bit,  and  who,  on  the  contrary,  seemed  to 
relish  it  not  a  little. 

But,  in  being  thus  gracious,  Josephine  had 
other  objects  in  view  than  merely  securing 
the  present  company  and  future  acquaint- 
ance of  HoUowbread.  After  a  time  she  be- 
gan to  talk  of  Mr.  Drummoud,  and  of  Mr. 
Beauman,  and  even  of  the  as  yet  unseen  Mr. 
Bradford. 

"AVas  Mr.  Beaumau  a  member  of  Con- 
gress ?"  she  inquu'ed. 

No  ;  Mr.  Beauman  was  not  a  member,  he 
stated ;  Mr.  Beauman  was  a  gentleman  in 
search  of  diplomatic  duty ;  he  was  likely  to 
go  abroad  before  long. 

"Mr.  Drummond  is  a  member,"  she  con- 
tinued ;  "  and,  by-the-way,  he  must  be  from 
my  district.  I  think  I  have  heard  that  our 
representative  is  a  Mr.  Sykes  Drummond." 

"Ah,  indeed!"  carelessly  responded  Hol- 
lowbread,  who  was  not  anxious  to  be  sent 
after  Drummoud.  "Probably,  then,  this  is 
the  man — the  rather  loud -talking  person 
who  spoke  to  mo  some  time  ago — a  little 
rough  in  his  manners,  you  may  have  no- 
ticed." 

Josephine  perceived  tliat  hor  companion 
did  not  like  Drunnnond,  and  she  turned 
aside  from  the  subject  for  a  little. 

"  I  am  not  acquainted  with  him,"  she  said. 
The  only  Congressman  whom  I  know  is  Mr. 
Bradford.  He  is  an  old  acquaintance  and 
friend.     I  should  I'cally  like  to  see  him." 

This  hint,  although  a  disagreeable  one  to 


HoUowbread,  was  so  plain  that  he  could  not 
evade  it. 

"  If  you  will  excuse  me  a  moment,  I  will 
go  and  search  for  Mr.  Bradford,"  he  volun- 
teered, if  it  could  be  called  volunteering 
when  he  was  thus  crowded  up  to  the  busi- 
ness. 

"  Oh,  I  am  so  sorry  to  trouble  you  I"  she 
apologized;  but  as  she  flashed  her  eyes  upon 
him,  both  flatteringly  and  imploringly,  the 
poor  man  could  do  nothing  but  go. 

Had  he  looked  behind  him  and  seen  the 
smile  with  which  she  contemplated  his  ex- 
pansive back,  he  would  have  been  indignant ; 
and  had  she  followed  him  and  discovered 
the  trick  which  he  jilayed  upon  her,  she  also 
might  have  lost  her  temper,  sweet  as  it  was. 
]\Ir.  HoUowbread,  steadying  himself  by  the 
seats,  marched  with  ponderous  procrastina- 
tion down  the  alley,  set  his  beaver  on  firmly 
before  opening  the  door,  got  himself  over  the 
connecting  gangway  as  carefully  as  if  he 
were  an  elejihant,  and,  continuing  to  journey 
in  the  leisurely  fashion  of  a  iirocession  or  a 
caravan,  at  last  arrived  in  the  presence  of 
Messrs.  Drummond,  Bradford,  and  Beauman. 

"  How  de  do,  Bradford  ?"  he  sighed  out  in 
a  husky  way,  and  sat  down  to  take  his  ease. 

"Ah!  Mr.  Chairman  of  Finance!"  replied 
Bradford ;  "  glad  to  see  you  here.  ATe  have 
business  with  you." 

Bradford,  by-the-way,  was  a  man  of  about 
twenty-eight,  well  built,  and  above  the  aver- 
age height,  with  regular  and  slightly  florid 
features,  straight  hair  of  a  light  chestnut 
color,  contemplative  and  poetical  hazel  eyes, 
and  a  strangely  varying  expression  of  face, 
sometimes  absolutely  feminine  in  its  sweet- 
ness, sometimes  resolute,  imperious,  and  al- 
most combative.  It  seemed  as  if  he  must 
be  in  temper  and  character  a  mixture,  or, 
perhaps,  one  might  say,  an  alternation  of 
man  and  woman. 

"  Oh,  bother  business  !"  groaned  Mr.  Hol- 
lowbread,  as  if  he  had  nothing  on  his  mind, 
and  wished  for  nothing  there. 

"  Bradford  and  I  are  a  unit,"  said  Drum- 
mond. "  We  both  think  the  same  small- 
beer  of  your  bill  for  issuing  more  counterfeit 
money — haw,  haw!"  he  added,  with  one  of 
his  insolent  bursts  of  merriment.  "  There 
is  too  much  water  in  our  finaucial  whisky 
already.  Every  drop  that  you  add  only 
spoils  the  iiunch.  We  shall  vote  against 
you." 

"  I  am  sorry  for  it,  gentlemen,"  sighed 
HoUowbread,  who  rather  hated  the  subject, 
even  Avhcn  i)eoplo  agreed  with  him  on  it. 
Small- talk  was  his  forte,  and  he  ought  to 
have  been  on  the  House  Gossiping  Commit- 
tee, if  there  is  such  a  tiling.  "  I  am  exceed- 
ingly sorry  for  it,  on  your  account.  You 
will  get  yourselves  at  loggerheads  with  the 
American  people." 

"  If  the  American  people  wants  more  de- 
based money,  it  is  an  ass,"  loudly  affirmed 


PLAYING  TIIE  MISCHIEF. 


13 


Drummoiul,  uitli  another  of  his  insolent 
horse  -  Linghs,  scattering  chopped  feed  and 
bran,  as  it  were,  iu  the  face  and  eyes  of  his 
senior. 

Mr.  Ilollowhrcad  simply  yawned  and 
hroathed  hard,  as  if  ho  were  utterly  weary 
of  the  topic.  He  hated  Drnnunond,  and  con- 
sidered him  an  insolent,  noisy  brute,  and  nev- 
er talked  to  him  when  he  could  help  it. 

"  Of  course  we  understand  that  increasing 
the  volume  of  irredeemable  currency  doesn't 
increase  the  amount  of  money  in  the  coun- 
try," put  iu  Bradford.  "  You  diminish  the 
purchasing  power  of  the  paper  dollars  just 
in  proportion  as  you  add  to  their  number." 

"  I  know  that,"  rather  sulkily  conceded 
Hollowbread.  "I  suppose  that  only  our 
carpet-baggers  and  wild-cat  members,  and 
self-made  gentry,  are  ignorant  of  that.  But 
my  policy  is  not  one  of  permanent  inflation. 
It  is  au  alternation  of  judicious  inflation 
and  judicious  contraction.  For  instance,  I 
would  make  money  abundant,  to  move  the 
crops,  and  then  draw  it  iu  again  after  thej^ 
have  got  East." 

"  In  other  words,  when  the  Western  farm- 
ers are  selling  their  corn  you  would  debase 
the  currency,  so  as  to  let  New  York  pay  them 
a  few  cents  less  on  the  bushel.  But  when 
those  same  farmers  come  to  pay  for  their 
winter  and  spring  goods,  you  would  tight- 
en the  money  market,  so  as  to  fleece  them  a 
little  on  every  axe  and  shovel.  Up  to  a  cer- 
tain point  the  plan  works  well  for  the  mid- 
dlemen and  the  sxieculators,  and  the  manu- 
facturers and  the  importers ;  but  how  does 
it  work  for  the  farmers  ?  If  they  knew  just 
what  you  are  trying  to  do,  they  would  curse 
the  day  when  you  were  born." 

"  The  great  West  is  all  for  an  issue  of  the 
greenback  reserve,"  seemed  to  Mr.  Hbllow- 
Lread  a  sufficing  answer.  "  I  agree  with  it. 
The  reserve  should  be  issuable.  We  must 
have  an  elastic  end  to  our  currency." 

''A  coin  currency,  with  one  end  of  the 
rope  in  our  gold-mines  and  the  other  iu  the 
markets  of  Europe,  is  the  only  elastic  one 
jiossible." 

"  We  can  make  one  out  of  paper." 

"  Let  me  give  you  a  jilan,"  said  Brad- 
ford. "Enter  into  a  monetary  convention 
with  Austria.  Agree  to  take  her  shin-plas^ 
ters  if  she  will  take  ours.  Then  when  we 
run  short  of  paper  dollars,  we  can  call  in  a 
few  hundred  millions  of  paper  swanzigers, 
and  vice  versa.  There  would  be  a  sort  of 
elasticity  iu  that,  especially  if  each  Govern- 
ment printed  and  issued  vigorously,  to  get 
ahead  of  the  other,  or  to  move  the  crops." 

"  Haw  !  haw !"  roared  Drnmmond,  who 
was  quite  able  to  enjoy  another  man's  clev- 
erness wheu  it  heaxied  scorn  upon  still  an- 
other man. 

'•'  Of  course  that  is  pushing  the  idea  to  an 
absurdity,"  returned  Hollowbread,  address- 
ing himself  to  Bradford,  and  turning  his  Aja- 


ccan  shield  of  a  back  upon  Drnmmond.  "I 
understand  as  well  as  any  man  the  folly  of 
the  i)hrase  'cheap  money.'" 

"  Then  why  not  explain  the  folly  of  it  to 
your  fcllow-iuflationists  ?"  demanded  Brad- 
ford. "There  is  your  Sea  Island  friend, 
Chevalier,  elocutionizing  away  for  cheap 
money,  and  swearing  that  the  South  must 
have  it  or  collapse.  Has  ho  forgotten  the 
time  when  he  had  cheap  money,  and  when 
it  took  a  bale  of  it  to  buy  a  bale  of  cotton  ?" 

"  Oh,  Chevalier  explains  that  what  ho 
wants  is  cheap  interest,"  grinned  Hollow- 
bread,  the  false-hearted  trinnnor,  who  ha<l 
pretended  to  support  Clievalier  in  debate. 

"  Then  let  him  demand  specie  payments," 
exclaimed  Bradford.  "A  debased  currency 
always  raises  the  rate  of  interest.  If  you  di- 
lute a  man's  capital  down  to  half  its  value, 
and  pay  him  his  interest  in  diluted  money 
worth  lifty  cents  on  the  dollar,  of  course  he 
must  double  his  interest  to  keep  his  income 
at  the  old  level,  and  he  will  get  as  much 
more  as  possible  to  recover  the  loss  ou  his 
principal." 

"  There  is  no  use  iu  arguing  with  these 
dunces,  Mr.  Bradford,"  sighed  Hollowbread. 
"  They  are  carried  away  by  the  phrase 
'cheap  money,' and  can't  be  made  to  see  the 
nonsense  of  it.  They  will  have  it,  this  bo- 
gus money.  And  I  bow.  I  may  not  agree 
with  the  sovereign  people's  oi)iuion,  but  I 
feel  bound  to  bow  to  it." 

"And  I  don't.  We  are  not  representa- 
tives of  the  peox^le  in  the  sense  of  represent- 
ing its  ignorance." 

"  We  are  not  representatives  of  the  people 
at  all,"  laughed  Drnmmond.  "  We  are  rep- 
resentatives of  the  wire-pullers  and  log-roll- 
ers who  run  the  primary  meetings." 

"  Gentlemen,  I  don't  know  that  I  care  to 
argue  so  many  huge  questions  as  you  raise," 
smiled  Jlr.  Hollowbread,  with  the  air  of  a 
man  who  knows  how  wise  he  is  in  evading 
the  trouble  of  showing  useless  wisdom. 
"  What  I  am  positive  about,"  he  added, 
counterfeiting  a  yawn, "is  that  the  palace- 
car  is  a  bett-er  one  to  snooze  iu  than  this.  I 
shall  return  to  my  bower." 

Thereupon,  without  saying  a  word  to 
Bradford  or  Drnmmond  concerning  Joseph- 
ine Murray's  desire  to  see  them,  he  blandly 
made  his  way  back  to  her.  Her  countenance 
fell  a  little  when  ho  re-appeared  unattend- 
ed, but  she  was  intelligent  enough  not  to  ex- 
press her  disappointment  in  words. 

"  Those  fellows  have  really  been  very  in- 
genious iu  hiding  tliem.selves,"  he  sighed, 
l)uffily,  as  if  he  had  been  hunting  them  at 
full  speed.  "One  would  think  that  they 
had  jumped  off  the  cars." 

"  Do  Cougressmeu  often  do  that  ?"'  asked 
Josephine. 

"Very  frequently — when  they  are  disap- 
pointed in  love,"  smiled  Jlr.  Hollowbread. 
"  Who  knows  how  I  shall  end  I" 


14 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


CHAPTER  III. 

COMING  TO  BUSINESS. 

Josephine  was  tlisapiJointed  about  miss- 
ing Bradford  and  Drummoud ;  she  did  not 
believe  that  Mr.  Hollowbread  had  searched 
for  them  as  vigorously  as  he  ought  to  have 
done ;  but  being  that  sort  of  lady  who,  miss- 
ing one  man,  will  catch  at  the  nest,  she 
good-naturedly  resumed  her  semi-flirtation. 

The  dialogue  went  ou  until  the  old  i)ub- 
lic  functionary  got  hoarse  and  tired,  and 
consequently  became  a  little  less  ardent. 
So  he  xiroduced  an  illustrated  weekly,  and 
let  Josephiue  amuse  herself  with  that  while 
he  chewed  some  troches. 

But  meantime  he  gazed  at  her  without 
winking,  studying  the  many  delicate  par- 
ticulars of  her  beauty,  the  finish  of  her 
Grecian  features,  the  faint,  soft  damask  tint 
in  her  brunette  cheek,  the  liquid  splendor 
of  her  dark  eyes,  and  the  trimuess  of  her 
lithe  figure. 

The  freshness  of  youth  is  certainly  a  won- 
derful enchantment :  probably  we  are  only 
fully  conscious  of  it  after  we  ourselves  have 
lost  it.  It  is  likely  euough  that  Josephine 
had  never  before  been  so  gloated  over  as  she 
was  while  perusing  that  jieriodical.  She 
was  aware  of  the  gloating,  too,  and  showed 
herself  suitably  grateful  for  it,  looking  up 
occasionally  with  a  friendly  glimpse  of  a 
smile,  or  uttering  some  companionable  re- 
mark concerning  the  small  events  of  the 
journey.  That  she  should  think  to  do  this 
proved  great  social  ability,  for  she  was  read- 
ing a  number  of  one  of  Charles  Eeade's  se- 
rials, and  the  love  matters  therein  interest- 
ed her  deei)ly.  By  the  time  that  she  had 
finished  her  luncheon  of  light  literature  it 
was  dark,  and  raining  torrents. 

"Are  we  near  Washington  V  she  asked. 

"I  am  sorry  to  say  that  we  are  entering 
the  outskirts,"  replied  Hollowbread.  "  We 
are  near  the  end  of  what  has  been  to  me  a 
most  delightful  journey." 

She  smiled  and  nodded,  as  she  had  smiled 
and  nodded  to  all  his  previous  fine  speech- 
es. But  then  there  came  over  her  a  spasm 
of  that  pathetic  lonesomeness  which  women 
often  feel  when  they  arc  among  strangers, 
and  homeless. 

"  I  wish  I  were  there !"  she  sighed.  "  I 
hate  these  dreary  drives  about  strange 
cities." 

Mr.  Hollowbread  suggested  (hoping  the 
while  to  the  contrary)  that  her  uncle  would 
be  at  the  station. 

"No,"  said  Josephine.  "I  started  unex- 
jiectedly  to  myself,  and  I  forgot  to  telegraph. 
Thev  look  for  me  this  week,  but  not  to- 
»lay." 

The  truth  is  that  she  had  shopped  gener- 
ously in  New  York  by  way  of  preparing  for 
her  campaign  iu  Congress,  and,  coming  un- 
awares upon  the  bottom  of  her  purse,  she 


had  been  forced  to  set  out  at  once  for  Wash- 
ington, or  go  hungry. 

"  I  trust  that  you  will  permit  me  to  see 
you  safe  to  your  uncle's  house,"  begged  Mr. 
Hollowbread,  thinking  what  nice  things  he 
would  dare  to  murmur  in  the  enchanted  soli- 
tude of  a  hack. 

Arranging  her  draperies,  and  jmtting  on 
otherwise  a  gracious  pretense  of  not  hearing, 
Josephiue  made  no  reply. 

Her  head  was  full  of  a  plot  for  catching 
her  old  friend  Bradford  in  the  station,  or,  at 
least,  for  stumbling  upon  an  accidental  ac- 
quaintance with  Mr.  Drummoud,  and  so  get- 
ting herself  escorted  home  by  one  of  those 
young  honorables.  If  she  could  speak  with 
either  one  of  them  for  only  a  single  iustant, 
she  would  know  how  to  lasso  him  and  take 
him  along  with  her. 

Presently  the  train  halted,  and  Mr.Hollow- 
bread  cumbrously  helped  Josephine  out  of 
the  car,  or,  rather,  he  considerably  impeded 
her  attempt  to  make  a  hasty  escape  from  it. 
In  her  eagerness  she  fell  into  his  arms,  and 
almost  capsized  him ;  but  hurry  as  she  might 
she  could  not  intercept  Messrs.  Drummoud 
and  Bradford.  She  could  only  catch  sight 
of  them  as  they  sped  away,  sachel  in  hand. 

It  was  clear  enough  that  they  had  not 
jumped  off  the  cars  twentj^  miles  back ; 
and  for  the  moment  she  was  somewhat  dis- 
posed to  iiick  a  bone  with  the  gallant  old 
gentleman  who  held  her  arm  ;  but  she  did 
not  show  her  miff.  In  the  first  place,  it 
would  not  have  been  worth  while ;  iu  the 
second  place,  it  would  have  been  out  of  char- 
acter. In  dealing  with  men,  at  least,  Joseph- 
iue was  amazingly  good-tempered,  and  un- 
der no  circumstances  did  she  ever  quarrel 
with  a  beau,  unless  as  a  means  for  getting  a 
preferable  one. 

Thus  Mr.  Hollowbread  had  his  sweet  will, 
and  was  able  to  escort  her  to  her  home,  no 
man  putting  asunder.  He  would  have  been 
glad  to  get  a  vehicle  suitable  to  the  hap- 
piness and  honor  which  had  befallen  him. 
But  this  proved  impossible,  for  the  tremen- 
dous rain  had  driven  nearly  all  the  passen- 
gers to  take  wheels,  and  there  was  a  scarcity 
of  hacks.  The  onlj^  disengaged  charioteer 
whom  he  lighted  upon  was  a  ragged,  gig- 
gliug,  skipping  young  negro,  as  full  of  grins, 
jumps,  and  whistles  as  if  he  were  a  mixture 
of  monkey,  parrot,  and  grasshopper. 

"  Hack,  sah  ?"  j-elped  this  disquieting  mon- 
grel, capering  up  to  our  statesman  with  an 
apparent  intention  of  leaping  upon  his  head 
and  standing  there  ou  tiptoe,  with  one  foot 
in  the  air. 

"  Yes,"  responded  Sir.  Hollowbread,  with 
all  possible  grinmess,  desiring  to  impress 
the  noiulescript  with  a  sense  of  the  gravity 
and  responsibility  of  his  business.  "  Do  you 
know  where  200  Izzard  Street  is  ?  Be  sure 
you  tell  the  truth,  now  !" 

"  Sho  —  yes,  sah;  knows  it  puffecly,  sah. 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


15 


B'longs  up  that  way  myself,  sali,"  cbippered 
this  colored  grasshopper,  delivering  himself 
with  a  capriole,  a  grimace,  and  a  snigger, 
which  showed  persistent  light-mindedness, 
and  lying,  wo  will  add,  like  the  great  adver- 
sary of  mankind. 

"  Do  you  know  me  ?"  insisted  Mr.  Hollow- 
hrcad,  intending  to  terrify  tho  jackanapes 
into  sobriety  of  mind  by  Cougressioual 
grandeur. 

"  Sho — yes,  sah ;  knows  you  ezzackly,  sah. 
Sceu  you  up  to  the  Capitol,  sah,"  asserted 
coachce,  balancing  from  one  foot  to  the  oth- 
er like  a  dancing  bear.  "  You's  one  of  the 
membahs,  sah — wall !  wah  !  wah  !"  he  laugh- 
ed, or,  rattier,  te-hc'd,  as  though  there  was  no 
standing  the  joke,  whatever  it  was. 

"  I've  seen  you  before,"  continued  Mr.  Hol- 
lowbread,  staring  at  the  youngster  with  au 
air  of  having  sceu  him  in  jail.  "  Who  are 
you?" 

'•'  I'm  Jelui — Jehu  Beaumont,  of  Souf  Car- 
liny,"  was  the  answer,  sujiported  by  unre- 
strained merriment. 

'•Oh,  Jehu!"  repeated  Hollowbread,  who 
had  no  more  met  the  creature  before  than  he 
wanted  to  meet  him  again.  "Well,  Jehu,  a 
fellow  with  such  a  name  as  that  ought  to  get 
us  to  200  Izzard  Street  iu  no  time.  There, 
take  these  checks  and  put  the  baggage  on, 
and  cover  it  up  well,  and  then  call  me  iu  the 
ladies'  room." 

Five  minutes  later  the  two  travelers  were 
iu  their  hack,  with  Jehu  Beaumont  whoop- 
ing on  the  box,  and  Josephine's  Saratoga 
trunks  towering  behind  him,  each  one  as  big 
as  Mr.  Hollowbread. 

'•What  fun!"  said  Josephine,  drumming 
her  wet  bootees  on  the  straw  in  the  bottom 
of  the  conveyance.  "  Well,  it  will  soon  be 
over,  and  that's  a  comfort." 

"  Good  heavens !  I  forgot  to  ask  him  if  he 
could  read!"  exclaimed  our  thoughtful  Con- 
gressman. "  Jehu,  you  rascal !"  he  shouted, 
already  iu  a  state  of  wrath  and  recrimina- 
tion, so  sure  was  he  of  being  miscarried. 

No  response  coming  back,  he  stuck  his 
head  out  of  the  window,  getting  it  soaked 
to  the  scalp  immediately,  and  demanded  : 

"Jehu,  did  you  ever  go  to  a  Bureau 
school  ?" 

Incomprehensible  yelps  and  guffaws  re- 
sponded, and  Mr.  Hollowbread  pulled  in  and 
wiped  his  disheveled  top-knot,  hoping  for  the 
best. 

Josephine,  not  knowing  of  her  escort's 
dripping  scalp,  and  probably  not  fit  to  care 
much  about  it,  uttered  one  of  those  pretty 
giggles  of  amusement  which  we  like  to  hear 
from  women,  especially  when  wo  ourselves 
are  comfortably  circumstanced.  Then,  with 
another  whoop  from  Jehu,  a  dull  and  damp 
cracking  of  the  whip,  and  a  scrabbling  of 
horseshoes  over  the  deluged  paving-stones, 
the  hack  rumbled  forward  through  the  cha- 
otic darkness  and  the  tempestuous  rain. 


Mr.  Hollowbread  drew  his  handkerchief, 
mopped  up  as  Avell  as  he  could  his  trickling 
locks,  wiped  out  the  shuddering  napo  of  his 
iu?ck,  and  enjoyed  the  drive  in  silence.  Tho 
conditions  of  tlie  moment  were  liard  upon  his 
spirits,  and  almost  too  nuich  for  his  affec- 
tioiiate  temperament.  Ho  felt  sure  that  ho 
should  catch  a  cold  in  his  head,  and  ho 
thought  it  likely  that  he  would  have  a  Aveck 
of  lumbago. 

But  presently  he  remembered  that  here 
was  a  precious  opportunity  slipping  by  ;  and 
vanity,  combined  Avith  sterling  old  habits  of 
courting,  enabled  him  to  rouse  himself  to  his 
duty.     But  what  should  he  say  ? 

An  slderly  gentleman's  mind  does  not 
work  to  advantage  wheu  his  cravat  and 
neckband  are  dripping  Avet ;  and  Mr.  Hol- 
lowbread could  not  for  the  moment  hit  upon 
any  remark  more  i)ungently  eniotioual  than 
the  following : 

"  Would  not  this  be  a  proper  time,  Miss 
Murray,  to  make  that  little  confession  ?"  he 
murmured,  smiling  from  pure  habit  in  the 
darkness,  although  his  smile  could  not  be 
seen. 

"  Some  other  day  I  will  tell  you  whether 
it  was  a  x^roper  time  or  not,"  laughed  Jo- 
sephine. 

"  That  is  very  cruel !"  sighed  Hollowbread, 
meanwhile  combing  his  hair  into  shape  with 
his  fingers,  and  rubbing  his  back  against  the 
knobby  padding  of  the  carriage  to  dry  up  a 
drop  which  was  stealiug  down  his  spine. 

Josephine  thought  a  sober  second  thought, 
and  decided  that  she  might  as  Avell  com- 
mence business.  Here  was  an  experienced 
Congressman,  who  was  clearly  bewitched 
with  lier,  and  who,  therefore,  Avould  probably 
give  her  tho  best  advice  that  he  could  con- 
cerning her  project.  Why  should  she  lose 
au  opportuuity  of  securing  an  adequate 
opinion  as  to  her  chances,  and  perhaps  also 
a  promise  of  help? 

It  might  not  be  dignified  to  accord  a  con- 
fidence to  a  stranger ;  but  had  this  elder  of 
the  people  liimself  been  perfectly  dignified  ? 
Had  he  not  made  eyes  at  her,  and  paid  her 
compliments  only  proper  in  a  young  beau, 
and  even  tried  to  touch  her  hand  in  the 
darkness  ? 

She  drew  away  from  him  the  least  trifle, 
but  she  began  to  tell  him  what  he  desired. 

"I  have  the  greatest  mind  to  confess  » 
little  bit,"  she  said,  cooing  an  encouraging 
laugh. 

"  Only  half  a  word  Avould  bo  an  immense 
l\ivor,"  answered  our  co([uettish  old  sage, 
edging  an  inch  or  two  nearer  to  her. 

"  The  Government — owes  me  a  great  deal 
of  money,"  faltered  Josepliine,  her  heart  the 
while  beating  tremendously. 

Mr.  Hollowbread  was  not  pleased  with  the 
information.  We  may  almost  go  so  fiir  as  to 
say  that  he  was  scared  and  disgusted  by  it. 
So  she  was  a  claimant — wanted  to  screw  a 


16 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


lot  of  money  out  of  the  Treasury — "wanted 
him  to  help  her  do  it!  He  uever  had  done 
that  sort  of  thing — much ;  and  he  did  not 
•want  to  do  any  more  of  it  on  any  terms 
whatever;  and  his  first  sentiment  was  one 
of  vexation,  recoil,  and  aversion. 

"Ah !  a  great  deal !"  he  repeated,  mechan- 
ically, and  with  a  vague  feeling  that  women 
always  cost  more  than  they  come  to. 

"  Yes,"  gasped  Josephine,  terribly  fright- 
ened by  her  own  audacity,  and  afraid  of  re- 
ceiving a  discouraging  answer.  "Twenty 
thousand  dollars." 

Mr.  Hollowbread  drew  a  deep  breath  of  re- 
lief. He  was  glad  to  hear  that  it  was  not  a 
million  or  two.  Then  he  reflected  that  this 
claim,  being  so  moderate  in  amount,  might 
really  be  a  just  one,  and  not  like  a  demand 
which  he  had  been  inveigled  into  counte- 
nancing some  ten  years  before,  the  very  re- 
membrance of  which  now  made  him  sick  at 
his  conscience.  For  a  sort  of  conscience  he 
had,  and  rather  a  tender  and  honorable  one, 
too,  as  men  inside  of  politics  average. 

"  It  seems  reasonable,"  he  replied,  hopeful- 
ly, as  if  claims  were  a  matter  of  logic  or  taste, 
and  rational  people  never  asked  for  much. 
"  I  suppose  that  Uncle  Sam  could  not  i)ossi- 
bly  refuse  you  such  a  moderate  siim." 

"  Oh,  but  you  must  treat  this  matter  seri- 
ously," she  at  once  pleaded.  "  I  shouldn't 
have  told  you  about  it,  if  I  hadn't  expected 
that  you  would  treat  it  seriously." 

Her  tone  informed  him  that  she  was  quite 
in  earnest,  and  he  dropped  his  purposes  of 
joking  and  complimenting. 

"Property  destroyed  during  the  late  war?" 
he  A'entured  to  inquire. 

"  No,"  said  Josephine ;  "  during  the  Revo- 
lutionary war." 

Mr.  Ilollowbread  nearly  whistled  at  the 
thought  of  a  claim  of  such  antiquity  ;  but 
he  checked  the  impulse  just  in  time;  he 
merely  puckered. 

"It  was  in  1812,"  continued  Josephine, 
collecting  her  mind  sufficiently  to  remem- 
ber particulars. 

"  Oh,"  broke  in  Hollowbread,  pleased  to 
find  himself  in  the  present  century. 

The  claim  might  not  be  so  absurd,  after 
all ;  something  of  that  date  had  got  through 
in  Buchanan's  time  ;  or  was  it  in  Polk's  ? 

"  I  beg  jiardon.  Miss  IMurray,"  he  went 
on ;  "  you  must  mean  our  last  war  with  En- 
gland.    That  was  in  1812  V> 

"  Yes,  of  course,"  said  Josephine.  "  I  am 
sure  of  the  date." 

There  was  a  brief  silence.  The  story  of 
destruction  was  such  a  meagre  one  as  to  be 
awkward  to  tell ;  and  our  heroine  had  a 
vaguo'  hope  that  she  would  not  be  obliged 
to  rehearse  it  at  all — merely  to  mention  the 
sum  which  she  had  fixed  upon  as  suitable 
rep.aration. 

"  Was  it  a  ba-rn  ?"  hesitated  Mr.  Hollow- 
bread.    Ho  did  not  mean  to  be  malicious, 


nor  witty;  he  rather  thought  it  might  be  a 
barn  ;  it  frequently  was  a  barn. 

"  Ye-s,"  confessed  Josephine,  with  a  sink- 
ing at  the  heart.  "  But  a  very  valuable  one," 
she  eagerly  added,  laying  as  heavy  an  ac- 
cent on  the  very  as  it  could  well  stagger  un- 
der. "Barns  sometimes  cost  twenty  thou- 
sand dollars,  I  believe,  even  now." 

"  Oh,  frequently,"  smiled  Mr.  Hollowbread, 
remembering  the  cheap  prices  of  old  times 
and  amused  by  that  "even  now."  I  have 
known  the  Government  to  pay  much  more 
than  that  for  a  burned  barn,"  he  added,  al- 
luding to  some  scandalous  Augean  aftairs 
which  he  had  seen  pushed  through  Congress. 

Josephine  started;  perhaps  she  had  not 
put  her  demand  high  enough  ;  and  seeing 
how  easily  her  legislator  took  it,  she  decided 
to  raise  it. 

"  But  there  were  other  things  destroyed 
at  the  same  time,"  she  continued.  "  More 
than  I  can  think  of." 

"  Horses  and  cows,"  insinuated  Mr.  Hol- 
lowbread, who  could  not  help  seeing  the 
matter  more  or  less  in  a  jocular  light,  and 
who  remembered  that  he  might  grin  over  it 
in  the  darkness. 

"  Certaiulj","  responded  Josci>hine,  very 
glad  of  the  suggestion,  and  jotting  it  down 
in  her  memory. 

"Hayricks,  farming-tools,  carts,  harrows, 
sheds  and  other  outhouses,"  inirsued  the 
Congressman. 

"  Oh,  yes ;  all  those.  It  would  make  a 
great  deal  more,  you  see." 

"  I  see,"  said  Hollowbread ;  but  so  did 
Josephine  see.  At  that  moment  a  flash  of 
lightning  revealed  his  face  to  her,  and  upon 
that  face  a  smile  of  lazy  amusement.  In  a 
second  all  was  dark  again,  but  our  heroine 
had  discovered  that  her  confidant  was  laugh- 
ing at  her,  and  she  was  both  soundly  fright- 
ened and  roundly  miffed. 

"  This  is  all  in  confidence,  sir,"  she  said, 
in  a  tone  so  changed  that  ho  noticed  it,  and 
feared  lest  she  had  discovered  his  merri- 
ment. 

"  Oh,  certainly — upon  honor!"  he  protest- 
ed. "  Well,  I  will  endeavor  to  advise  you 
to  the  best  of  my  ability,"  he  added,  serious- 
ly. "  But  I  must  have  the  particulars — ex- 
act date,  place,  circumstances,  and  so  forth 
— every  thing,  you  understand,  that  can  bo 
learned.  Was  it  during  a  battle  that  this 
occurred?     Please  go  on, Miss  j\Iurray." 

But  Josephine  was  quite  hui't,  luul  become 
cautious,  and  would  tell  him  no  nunc. 

"  At  some  more  suitable  time,"  she  answer- 
ed, almost  curtly.  "  Just  now  I  wish  I  knew 
where  we  are.  Does  Washington  reach  to 
the  Pacific  Ocean?" 

"  We  certainly  seem  to  have  come  .a  great 
w.ay,"  admitted  Mr.  Hollowbread,  who  had 
already  noted  tliat  tlio  hack  had  passed  his 
dwelling-place,  and  had  half  wished  that  he 
was  in  it. 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


17 


Then,  wbile  tlicy  talked  of  commonplace 
matters,  there  passed  several  minutes,  or,  as 
it  appeared  to  them,  a  quarter  of  an  hour, 
of  monotonous,  mysterious  journeying.  It 
■was  a  Tarn  o'  Sliauter  night,  the  Avind  roar- 
ing and  the  rain  rattling  and  splashing,  and 
nobody  abroad  but  the  deil. 

Tiioy  had  got  away  from  the  ruddy  shop- 
windows  of  the  lower  city,  and  -were  trav- 
ersing some  region  which  even  Hollow- 
bread  could  not  recognize,  and  which  most 
of  the  time  ho  could  not  see.  Ho  began  to 
fear  that  the  driver  belonged  to  some  gang 
of  murderers,  and  that  the  country  might 
lose  a  Congressman. 

"  This  coachman  is  crawling  !"  exclaimed 
Josie,  at  last,  becoming  alarmed. 

So  he  was.  He  had  driven  very  rapid- 
ly while  in  Pennsylvania  Avenue,  but  since 
leaving  that  lighted  thoroughfare  ho  had 
dawdled  strangelj-.  It  was  really  very  odd, 
for  the  rain  kept  on  pouring  at  a  wonderful 
rate,  and  it  could  not  have  been  nice  sitting 
out  in  it. 

<'  I  wonder  if  that  rascal  has  lost  him- 
self!" exclaimed  Mr.  Hollo wbread,  trem- 
bling with  sudden  rage. 

Then  the  hack  stopped,  and  Josie  cried : 
''  We  are  there !" 

They  looked  ont ;  but  there  was  no  house 
visible  ;  there  was  absolutely  nothing  visi- 
ble; the  whole  space  around  them  was  dark- 
ness. 

'•'Why  don't  you  go  on?"  howled  Mr. 
HoUowbread,  flattening  his  bulbous  Roman 
nose  against  the  front  window. 

The  only  response  was  the  hissing,  seeth- 
ing, spattering,  and  splashing  of  the  abso- 
lutely maniacal  rain. 


CHAPTER  IV. 

A  SOAKING  FLIKTATIOX. 

Mr.  Hollowbread  wrenched  the  hack- 
door  open,  and  shouted  again ;  stuck  his 
head  out  in  the  pitch-black  storm,  and  fair- 
ly yelled ;  still  no  answer. 

"  They  must  be  dead,"  put  in  Josephine  ; 
"  or  what  is  the  matter  ?" 

"  Jehu !  — you  rascal,  there  !  —  Jehu  !" 
stormed  the  thundering  Mr.  Hollowbread, 
who  would  have  lightened  also  if  he  had 
only  been  electric. 

"  What  will  the  horses  do  ?"  worried  Jo- 
sephine, getting  thoroughly  frightened. 

Mr.  Hollowbread  was  alarmed,  also,  about 
the  horses,  and  about  things  in  general.  It 
was  dreadful  to  get  out  in  that  deluge  with- 
out an  umbrella ;  but  to  that  pass,  it  seem- 
ed to  him,  he  must  come,  or  perish.  Out  he 
clambered,  very  hot  with  confinement  and 
wrath,  but  cooling  with  disgusting  rapid- 
ity, for  his  feet  alighted  in  a  rivulet  ankle- 
deep,  and  the  driving  rain  fairly  spanked 


through  liis  clothing.  Wliat  was  worse,  if 
worse  crmld  be,  a  Hash  of  lightning  revealed 
to  him  the  awful  fact  that  there  was  no  one 
on  tlio  box. 

Where  was  Jehu?  Had  the  infamous 
scoundrel  run  away  ?  Or  was  tho  poor  devil 
lying  about  somewhere  dead  ?  And  what 
Avas  the  honorable,  and  corpulent,  and  rath- 
er delicate  Mr.  Hollowbread  to  do  under 
such  circumstances?  At  first  he  did  noth- 
ing but  bellow  and  bawl  toward  all  tho 
points  of  the  compass,  "  Jehu  !  Jehu  !  Je-hn ! 
Jehu!"  Then  he  put  his  dripping  beaver, 
running  a  stream  like  a  churcli-roof,  insido 
the  hack,  and  said,  hoarsely :  "  You  had  bet- 
ter get  out."  I 

"  Get  out !"  gasped  Josephine.  "  Why, 
I  shall  be  wet  through." 

"No;  you  had  better  stay  in!"  groaned 
Mr.  Hollowbread.  "  That  rascal  has  gone  ; 
but  don't  be  alarmed.  I'll — I'll  try  to  get 
up  there,"  he  pufted,  "  and  drive  the  scoun- 
drelly horses  myself.  Only,  the  Lord  knows 
where  I  shall  drive  them  to !" 

"Oh,  dear!"  murmured  Josephine,  guess- 
ing that  ho  was  not  used  to  driving,  nor 
otherwise  well  adapted  to  it,  and  fearing 
lest  his  passenger  should  meet  vrith  acci- 
dents. 

Then  followed  a  considerable  period  of 
silence,  during  which  she  at  first  imagined 
Mr.  Hollowbread  struggling  up  to  tlie  box, 
and  afterward  began  to  wonder  if  he  had 
fallen  olf  it,  and  broken  his  fat  neck.  Even 
in  this  situation  she  had  intelligence  and 
humor  enough  to  say  to  herself : 

"  What  if  all  the  men  in  the  world  should 
drop  down  dead  ?  What  would  become  of 
the  women  ?" 

Meantime  Hollowbread  had  not  got  on 
the  box  at  all,  but  had  been  vainly  search- 
ing for  the  supposed  steps  which  led  up  to 
it,  and  cursing  the  stupidity  of  the  coach- 
maker  in  making  no  steps,  or  in  putting 
them  where  a  gentleman  could  not  find 
them.  Having  completely  circumnaviga- 
ted the  vehicle  by  feeling  his  way  gingerly 
around  the  horses'  noses,  then  more  confi- 
dently along  tho  traces,  wheels,  and  rack, 
and  having  thus  got  back  to  his  starting- 
point  without  discovering  any  means  of  as- 
cent, he  fell  into  a  state  of  complete  despair, 
and  raised  a  fresh  yell  of  "  Jehu !" 

"Yore  me,"  answered  a  voice  close  by 
him  ;  and  Jehu  re-appeared,  demoniacally, 
in  a  flash  of  lightning,  tlie  wettest  gobliu 
that  ever  was  seen  since  the  flood. 

"  Yere  you !"  broke  out  the  drenched  Hol- 
lowbread, in  such  a  state  of  indignation  that 
he  nearly  had  a  fit  on  the  s]iot.  "You  black 
fool  I  wher've  you  been  to  ?" 

"  I  done  loss  tho  coach,"  explained  Jehn. 
"Golly!  Thought  I  never  should  get  back 
to't." 

"What  did  you  leave  it  for?  Are  you 
drunk  ?"  roared  Hollowbread,  to  whom  the 


18 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


^vikl  idea  came  that  Jehu  might  have  got 
down  to  obtain  a  glass  of  whisky. 

"  Jes'  stepped  ott'  a  minute  to  look  for  de 
road,  sail,"  confessed  this  wonderful  coach- 
man. 

"  To  look  for  the  road  !  Oli,  you  blunder- 
ing, lying  rascal!     Well,  Avhere  are  we?" 

"Fo'  God,  I  dunno,  sah.  They  -was  a 
name  on  the  cawuah,  but  I  couldu'  read 
'urn." 

"  Oh,  get  on  !"  groaned  Mr.  Ilollowbread, 
■who  was  struggling  into  the  hack — "  get  on, 
and  drive  somcKhere.  Drive  till  morning, 
and  be  hanged  to  you  !  I  will  keep  as  far 
as  possible  from  you,"  he  added,  to  Joseph- 
ine, taking  the  front  seat.  "I  am  wetter 
than  all  the  Egyptians  in  the  Red  Sea.  I 
would  have  gone  on  the  box  if  I  could  have 
found  it." 

"  Oh,  I  am  so  sorry  for  this!"  she  answer- 
ed ;  "  and  it  has  all  been  on  my  account !" 

She  was  not  thinking  just  then  of  her 
claim,  nor  planning  to  make  him  friendly  to 
it.  She  was  occupied  with  her  present  sit- 
uation, and  wanted  to  be  on  good  terms  with 
the  only  male  person  within  reach,  and  had 
quite  forgotten  her  vexation  at  him  for 
laughing  at  lier. 

Nevertheless,  he  did  not  believe  that  she 
was  sorry  enough  for  his  soaking,  or  in- 
deed that  any  human  being  could  be  sorry 
enough.  He  picked  at  his  clinging  trowsers 
in  the  darkness,  and  wished  himself  at  home 
very  frequently,  and  said  very  little. 

Meanwhile  the  hack  wandered  and  wab- 
bled about  the  slippery  streets  of  the  invisi- 
ble city.  Sometimes  the  horses  started  on 
a  trot,  and  the  passengers  had  high  hopes ; 
then  the  gait  subsided  to  a  walk,  and  they 
understood  that  Jehu  was  in  a  quandary. 

At  last  our  legislator  a-soak  could  stand 
it  no  longer.  He  attacked  the  rickety  front 
window  so  fiercely  that  he  actually  forced 
it  to  shove  up  ;  next  he  howled  through  the 
writhing,  hissing,  venomous  rain  : 

"  Where  are  we  ?" 

"I'm  gwino  to  git  down  again,"  respond- 
ed Jehu,  coming  to  a  halt.  "  Gwine  to  look 
around  fur  de  name." 

"And  you  wouldn't  know  it  if  you  should 
see  it!"  absolutely  shrieked  Hollowbread. 
"Good  Lord,  I  wish  the  niggers  were  all  in 
slavery  again!"  ho  added,  ns  if  that  would 
make  them  read  better.  "  You  ought  to  be 
horsewhipped,  you  stupid  rascal !  DonH  j'ou 
get  down  !  Those  horses  will  run  away.  / 
shall  have  to  get  out  myself." 

And  get  out  he  did,  cursing  all  things 
compendiously  as  ho  emerged  into  the  piti- 
less storm,  without  caring  whether  Joseph- 
ine heard  him  or  not. 

She,  by-the-way,  only  smiled  at  his  pro- 
fanity and  at  the  causes  of  it.  She  Avas  ac- 
customed to  have  men  servo  her,  aiul  to  see 
them  suffer  considerably  in  serving  her ;  and 
sho  usually  gave  them  small  meed  of  grati- 


tude for  it,  though  she  could  utter  thanks 
abundantly. 

The  fiict  that  her  present  victim  was  eld- 
erly, and  inconveniently  pudgy  and  audibly 
short  -  winded,  only  made  his  martyrdom 
on  her  behalf  the  less  estimable  aud  the 
more  anmsing.  W^e  must  try  to  pardon  her ; 
she  had  the  ordinary  ignorance  of  youth 
with  regard  to  the  pathos  of  age  and  infirm- 
ity ;  and  Mr.  Hollowbread  was  but  reaping 
the  usual  reward  of  old  beaus  who  yxWl 
wait  on  young  ladies. 

He  had  a  fearful  time  outside  among  the 
forces  of  nature.  There  were  faint  street- 
lamps  in  the  distance,  but  they  cast  no 
more  effective  light  thaii  so  many  decayed 
mackerel,  and  he  staggered  gaiter -deep  in 
streams  and  gutters  which  he  could  not  see. 
By  moments  he  wondered  that  he  still  lived, 
and.  whether  he  should  be  alive  that  time 
to-morrow. 

At  last  he  was  rnn  against  by  a  building 
—one  of  those  isolated  buildings  which  are 
so  frequent  amidst  the  magnificent  distances 
of  Washington — a  building  which  seemed 
to  be  out  alone  and  lost,  like  himself. 

After  search  enough  to  discover  the  true 
site  of  the  ruins  of  Troy,  he  found  a  door- 
bell, and  rang  it  incessantly  for  the  next 
minute. 

Presently  the  door  was  opened  by  some 
one  holding  a  candle,  but  the  candle  M\as 
blown  out  instantly  by  the  furious  wind,  and 
Mr.  Hollowbread  never  saw  the  person. 

"  Has  every  body  gone  to  bed  in  this  city  ?" 
he  shouted,  with  that  unreasonable  indig- 
nation which  leads  aggrieved  people  to  feel 
that  they  have  a  right  to  call  the  first  indi- 
vidual they  meet  to  an  account. 

"I  d  —  d — d — dunno,  sah,"  responded  a 
voice,  which  seemed  to  be  that  of  an  elderly 
negro  man. 

"Is  this  Izzard  Street  ?"  continued  Hol- 
lowbread, not  wishing  to  lose  time  in  un- 
necessary conversation  with  a  stutterer. 

"  Y — y — yes,  sah." 

"What  number  is  it?" 

For  a  mercy  the  invisible  one  knew  what 
his  number  was,  and  had  the  power  given 
him  at  last  to  state  that  it  was  90. 

"And  No.  200  is  off  this  way,  is  it?"  con- 
tinued Hollowbread,  slapping  the  right-hand 
beam  of  the  door-frame. 

"  Y — y — yes,  sah." 

"  Thank  you,"  said  our  traveler,  summon- 
ing up  all  his  remaining  grace  to  utter  that 
courtesy. 

Tlien,  after  exchanging  some  A'ocal  sig- 
nals with  Jehu,  he  got  himself  back  into  the 
hack  in  such  a  state  of  moisture  that  it 
seemed  as  if  ho  should  never  bo  dry  again 
in  this  world. 

And  here  a  fresh  vexation  filled  up  tho 
measure  of  his  sorrow,  and  caused  him  to 
slop  over  in  loud  profanity.  As  ho  climb- 
ed, dripping,  yea,  streaming,  into  the   ill- 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


19 


starred  veliiclc,  a  flash  of  lightning  revealed 
Josephine's  face  to  liim,  and  showed  that 
she  was  laughing. 

Of  course  ho  could  not  swear  at  a  lady,  and 
60  he  swore  at  the  coachman.  On  his  knees, 
and  Avith  his  haro  head  stuck  out  of  the 
door-window,  he  cursed  Jehu  until  he  made 
himself  dizzy.  If  Jehu  had  been  sent  where 
Mr.  Hollowljread  wished  him,  his  wet  rai- 
ment would  have  hecu  dried  to  a  cinder  in 
iio  time. 

"  Yes,  sail,"  was  the  meek  respouso  of  that 
humbled  charioteer.  "  But  whar  has  we  to 
go, sah  ?" 

"  I'll  have  you  arrested,  yon  rascal !"  con- 
tinued the  aggrieved  honorable.  "  I'll  have 
your  license  taken  away  from  you.  Drive 
straight  on.  You  ought  to  be  put  in  jail, 
yon  ignoramus!  You  are  a  hundred  and 
ten  doors  from  the  place.  I'll  see  whether 
this  sort  of  thing  is  to  be  tolerated  in  the 
caitital  of  the  country.  Yoix  are  a  mile 
from  the  place.  Hang  your  stupid,  black, 
woolly  head !  Keep  to  the  right,  if  j'oii 
know  it.  Beast !  lunkhead  !  blunderhead ! 
Drive  OS  \" 

"Oh,  isn't  it  outrageous!"  softly  ejacu- 
lated Josephine,  beginning  to  pity  him  a 
little,  and  yet   hardly  able  to   snpjiress   a 

Mr.  Hollowhroad  was  out  of  breath.  More- 
over, if  he  had  had  ever  so  much  wind  left, 
he  was  too  angry  to  answer  her.  Not  only 
had  she  cruelly  laughed  at  his  sorrows,  but 
the  mere  contrast  between  her  condition  and 
his  was  most  irritating,  and  enough  to  make 
him  almost  want  to  pitch  her  out  of  the 
hack.  There  she  was,  as  dry  as  a  bone,  and 
as  warm  as  toast,  all  curled  and  tucked  up 
on  her  seat  to  keep  out  of  his  runlets  and 
puddles.  He,  meantime,  was  so  wet  that 
he  slopped  and  squelched,  and  was,  more- 
over, pretty  sure  of  a  siege  of  rheumatism. 
Under  the  circumstances,  he  could  not  speak 
to  her,  either  genially  or  otherwise,  for  a  full 
minute.  Pie  wished  that  he  had  never  seen 
her;  wished  that  he  had  called  in  Bradford 
and  Drunnnond  to  take  charge  of  her ;  wish- 
ed that  ho  were  at  home  and  abed  and  fast 
asleep.  "Women  certainly  wrought  vast  trou- 
ble in  the  world,  and  had  made  him  in  es- 
pecial an  immense  amount  of  bother,  and  did 
not  by  any  means  pay  their  way,  confound 
them! 

Time  passed,  however,  and  the  dialogue 
revived.  "With  it,  also,  revived  the  beau  in 
Hollowbread's  nature,  that  fervent  old  lire 
which  had  made  him  a  luminary  in  female 
society,  and  which  could  still  enable  him  to 
shine  through  dami)ness,  like  a  fire-lly  in  a 
swamp.  He  listened  to  Josephine's  fresh 
young  voice,  and  he  liked  the  sound  of  it. 
Moreover,  he  saw,  by  a  flash  of  lightning, 
how  prettily  she  was  bundled  together  on 
that  back  seat,  and  how  carelessly  her  gar- 
ments were  gathered  about  her,  just  expos- 


ing her  little  bootees.  They  were  very  lit- 
th',  ho  judged  ;  and  certainly  she  was  ex- 
ceedingly attractive  to  the  eye;  her  figuro 
seemed  to  be  as  perfect  as  her  face.  Well, 
ho  must  forgive  her  for  laughing.  If  a 
woman  would  only  be  handsome,  ho  must 
forgive  her  any  amount  of  heartlessncss. 
That  was  what  he  always  had  done,  and 
still  must  do. 

"I  am  so  dreadfully  sorry  that  you  have 
suffered  so  much  on  my  account !"  apologized 
Josephine,  who  naturally  guessed  that  he  was 
in  a  temper,  and  who  did  not  want  him  angry 
at  herself,  le^  he  might  oppose  her  claim. 

"You  are  not  in  the  least  to  blame,  of 
course,"  he  responded,  doing  his  soaked  best 
to  be  gracious. 

"It  is  a  terribly  unfortunate  introduction 
to  you,"  she  continued.  "  I  had  hoiied  that 
our  acquaintance  was  begun  agreeably." 

"It  has,"  he  asserted,  beginning  to  thiidc 
once  more  that  she  liked  him,  and  that  h<^ 
should  yet  have  a  good  time  in  flirting  with 
her — so  easy  is  it  for  an  ancient  Lothario  to 
cajole  himself.  "  I  admit  that  it  is  not  iileas- 
aut  to  be  humbugged  and  dragged  about  in 
the  wet  by  a  miserable  ignoramus  of  a  black 
negro,"  he  pursued,  warming  np  considerably 
as  he  recited  his  wrongs.  "  But,  neverthe- 
less, I  shall  always  retain  delightful  recol- 
lections of  your  part  of  this  evening's  ad- 
venture." 

"  You  are  the  best  of  men  to  say  so,"  re- 
plied Josephine,  tucking  her  skirts  still  far- 
ther out  of  the  way  of  his  draiuings.  "I 
hope  to  hear  from  you  verj'  soon  that  you 
haven't  suliered  by  the  exposure." 

"  Thank  you,"  said  Mr.  Hollo wbread,  and 
was  about  to  add  that  he  would  venture  to 
call  without  further  introduction,  wheu  the 
hack  stopped. 

"  Hi !  Guess  we's  thar,"  Jehu  was  heard 
to  bawl  through  the  rain.  "  Shall  I  git 
down,  sar,  or  will  you  ?"' 

"  Confound  the  idiot !"  howled  Mr.  Hollow- 
bread,  in  suddenly  renewed  fury.'  "Get 
down  yourself!"  he  thundered, opening  the 
door  with  unchristian  violence.  "No!  hold 
on.  The  horses  might  go  off.  I'll  get  down. 
You  wouldn't  know  the  number  if  it  should 
be  burned  and  branded  into  your  stupid  car- 
cass. I'll  get  down,"  he  concluded  with  a 
moan. 

"So  sorry!  so  rc/7/  sorry!"  murmured 
Josephine,  ready  to  shriek,  however,  with 
laughter. 

"  Oh,  don't  blame  yourself,''  answered 
Ihdlowbread,  and  went  off  through  the  com- 
plicated showers,  muttering  to  himself,  "Of 
course  she  isu't  in  fault.  Pretty  girl. — Hang 
that  gutter! — I  don't  believe  she  was  really 
laughing  at  vie. — By  George,  liow  it  drives, 
and  how  slippery  it  is! — And  I  don't  blame 
her  much,  if  she  did  laugh  at  nu\  such  a  sight 
as  I  must  be.  This  must  bo  the  house,  hang 
it !"  ho  continued. 


20 


PLAYIXG  THE  MISCHIEF. 


Yes,  it  Tvas  No.  200,  and  the  horrid  pil- 
grimage was  over.  Mr.  Hollowbread's  tiger- 
like riug  at  the  bell  soou  brought  a  mulatto 
maiden  to  the  door,  "^ho  said,  "LaAV  sakes!" 
at  the  sight  of  his  dripping  caparisons,  and 
Trho  promptly  produced  an  umbrella. 

"Tell  them  Miss  Murray  has  come!"  he 
gasped,  and  hastened  back  to  the  caniage, 
shiniug  iu  the  hall-light  as  if  he  Trere  var- 
nished. 

"  Don't  go  through  the  rain  again,"  begged 
Josephine,  -which  was  a  kind  of  mockery,  see- 
ing that  he  could  not  possibly  get  wetter 
than  he  was.  "Let  me  take  the  umbrella 
and  skip  in  alone.  Good-night,  Mr.  Hollow- 
bread.     To  meet  again !" 

She  pressed  his  hand ;  yes,  she  really,  un- 
questionably squeezed  it  twice ;  then  she 
was  flying  up  the  steals.  Under  the  i)orch 
which  shielded  the  door  a  gray-haired,  cler- 
ical-looking gentleman  and  a  wrinkled  lit- 
tle lady  whose  hair  was  almost  white  stood 
to  receive  her.  I\jsses  and  words  of  greet- 
ing were  interchanged  in  the  sight  of  Mr. 
Hollowbread,  who  felt  as  if  the  bussiugs  fair- 
ly belonged  to  himself,  and  would  have  liked 
one  amazingly.  Then,  still  staring  through 
the  rain-fall  of  his  hat-brim,  he  saw  Joseph- 
ine burst  into  a  siiasm  of  laughter.  Was 
she  recounting  his  ridiculous  misfortunes, 
and  making  mock  of  them?  Well  as  he 
thought  he  knew  women,  he  did  not  fully 
know  how  spasmodical  they  are  at  times, 
even  the  strongest  of  them  and  the  cleverest. 
The  truth  is,  the  eveniug's  adventure  had 
made  our  heroine  nervous,  so  that  she  could 
not  help  saluting  its  close  with  a  burst  of 
slightly  hysterical  merriment.  But  Mr.  Hol- 
lowbread, irritable  with  fatigue,  wettings, 
and  a  general  sense  of  ill-treatment,  guessed 
that  she  was  holding  him  up  to  scorn ;  and, 
forgetting  that  fiirewell  pressure  of  the  hand, 
he  threw  himself  back  behind  his  leather 
curtain,  as  full  of  humiliation  and  wrath  as 
of  rain-water. 

"  Is  this  to  be  a  specimen  of  my  acquaint- 
ance with  that  little  flirt '?"  he  said  to  him- 
self, as  he  rambled  homeward,  dripping  and 
drizzling  like  a  street-sprinkler.  "If  so — 
and  I  really  think  it  will  be  so — the  sooner 
I  end  it  the  better.  And  yet,'"  he  added,  af- 
ter a  time,  "she  is  most  astonishingly  pret- 
ty— yes,  and  delightful." 


CHAPTER  V. 

UNCLE  JOUX  AND  AUNT  IIULDAII. 

To  her  gray-haired,  serious,  reverend  un- 
cle, and  to  her  white-haired,  invalided,  old- 
fashioned,  prim  aunt,  this  Josephine  of  ours 
could  make  herself  quite  as  agreeable  as  to 
That  sparkling  veteran  of  the  world,  Mr.  Hol- 
lowbread. 

Nor  was  it  a  small  triumph  on  her  jiart, 


for  they  were  not  prepared  to  like  her  en- 
tirely. Indeed,  they  had  heard  things  of 
her  which  had  made  them  fear  lest  they 
should  find  her  a  worrying  guest,  and  be 
obliged  now  and  then  to  frown  openly  upon 
her  behavior. 

Yet,  before  they  had  looked  at  her  a  min- 
ute, and  before  she  had  uttered  twenty  sen- 
tences, they  were  glad  she  had  come  to  them, 
and  wanted  to  hold  her  iu  lap.  A  handsome 
young  face,  a  lively  and  intelligent  and  ami- 
able expression,  sparkling  eyes  which  can  be 
alternately  pathetic  and  roguish,  and  a  mag- 
netism of  animal  spirits  playing  through  all, 
make  up  a  j)retty  sure  passport  to  human  fa- 
vor. Moreover,  Josephine  was  a  lady  in  car- 
riage, and  was  very  clever  for  her  age.  She 
had  courtesy  of  manner,  an  unusual  tact  iu 
adapting  herself  to  people,  and  a  ready  fund 
of  light,  pleasant  chitchat. 

"  I  have  surprised  you,"  she  said,  when  she 
had  kissed  the  two  elders.  "I  have  come  as 
if  I  had  rained  down.  But  I  thought  it  best 
to  get  on  here  without  giving  you  the  trou- 
ble of  looking  for  me  and  going  to  meet  me. 
And  wasn't  it  well  that  I  did !  Such  a  night 
for  you  to  be  out  iu !  And  such  a  time  as  I 
have  had  iu  getting  here !  I  have  driven  a 
hundred  miles,  and  through  four  Noachiau 
deluges,  since  I  left  that  station.  You  shall 
hear  all  about  it  xiresently.  I  know  it  will 
amuse  you." 

"And  did  you  come  all  alone  through  this 
dreadful  storm?"  asked  Mrs.  Murray,  poking 
out  her  thin  lips  and  opening  wide  her  gray 
eyes,  like  an  infant  expressing  wonder. 

She  was  a  singular-looking  old  lady,  by- 
the-way ;  remarkably  small  and  lean  iu  fig- 
ure, with  a  little  white,  puckered  face,  an  ea- 
ger expression,  and  jerky  motions. 

"There  was  a  strange  gentleman  witli 
me,"  said  Josephine,  not  proposing  to  tell 
much  about  Mr.  Hollowbread.  "  Hacks  were 
scarce,  and  he  had  to  come  a  long  way  out 
of  his  road,  poor  man,  and  got  awfully  wet 
iu  looking  for  the  house.  Did  you  see  him  ? 
I  do  believe  ho  could  have  spouted  water 
like  a  Triton." 

Old  Mrs.  Murray  looked  at  her  husband, 
as  if  for  an  explanation ;  trembled  all  over, 
like  a  kitten  aiming  at  a  marble ;  saw  that 
a  joke  was  intended,  and  giggled. 

"You  have  not  changed  at  all  since  we 
saw  you  last,"  said  the  rector,  smiling  down 
upon  Josephine's  frolicsome  face,  as  if  ho 
liked  her  well  just  as  she  was,  and  wished 
that  she  might  never  change.  He  was  a  tall, 
portly  man  of  sixty-three,  with  a  large,  pal- 
lid, dropsical  but  amiable  face,  his  thin  hair 
almost  white,  and  his  whiskers  entirely  so, 
his  bearing  at  once  ponderous  and  tremulous. 
He  looked  much  older  than  his  years,  and 
yet  he  was  clearly  younger  than  his  wife. 

"Ah!  my  life  has  changed,"  answered  Jo- 
sephine, suddenly  remembering  the  meeting 
of  which  he  spoke  and  the  sorrows  which  had 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


21 


befivllen  her  since.  "  I  bavo  had  onon^h  to 
change  me,  you  know,"  she  added,  lifting  her 
eyes  to  his  as  sho  uttered  these  last  two 
words,  and  disclosing  tears  which  were  sure- 
ly honest  enough.  Tlien  she  jiut  a  love  of  a 
laco  handkerchief  to  her  pathetic  face,  and 
nuirniured,  "  Poor  Augustus !'' 

Yes,  wo  must  at  last  confess  the  fact  that 
she  was  a  widow.  The  poor  Augustus  in 
question  was  a  nephew  of  the  Reverend  John 
Murray,  and  had  died  two  years  previous  to 
the  date  of  this  historj',  so  that  his  lovely 
relict  was  already  out  of  mourning.  Prob- 
ably she  could  not  now  grieve  for  him  A'ery 
keenly;  but  a  bereavement  has  always  two 
Bides  of  possible  sorrow  to  it :  the  survivor 
can  at  least  bemoan  his  or  her  own  loneliness. 

"Yes,"sighedthe  rector,  taking  Josephine's 
unemployed  hand.  "It  is  hard  to  have  a 
husband  swept  away  so  early." 

"  Swept  away  so  early !"  repeated  Mrs. 
Murray,  who  had  a  curious  way  of  echoing 
her  lord's  observations,  as  if  she  were  re- 
sponding to  a  litany. 

"  The  Divine  Providence  seems  to  be  very 
careless  of  our  earthly  happiness." 

"  Careless  of  our  earthly  hapiiiuess !''  mur- 
mured the  old  lady. 

"  But  if  we  were  blessed  continually  here, 
we  should  never  desire  the  better  hereafter." 

"  Never  desire  the  better  hereafter!"  gasp- 
ed Mrs.  Murray,  getting  a  little  out  of  breath. 

"  I  need  not  tell  you  how  we  sympathize 
with  you  in  a  sorrow  which  is  partly  our 
own." 

"  Oar  own !"  added  the  old  lady,  falling 
considerably  in  the  rear. 

"We  are  glad,  very  glad,  that  you  have 
come  to  us." 

"  Glad  j'ou  have  come  to  us !''  repeated 
Mrs.  Murray,  freshening  up  under  the  influ- 
ence of  sympathy,  and  coming  in  almost  even 
with  him. 

They  were,  indeed,  very  sorry  for  their 
relative,  this  beauteous  and  piteous  young 
Avidow,  so  fnll  of  graces  and  of  grief.  They 
knew  all  the  while  that  she  had  been  an  aw- 
ful flirt ;  they  supposed  that,  short  as  her 
married  life  had  been,  she  had  given  her  hus- 
band no  little  uneasiness;  and,  moreover, 
they  had  held  poor  Augustus  himself  in  dis- 
repute, as  an  idle,  hare-brained,  ridiculous 
spendthrift.  Yet,  when  they  saw  his  lovely 
young  widow  crying  there  before  them,  they 
could  not  help  believing  in  the  genuine  pun- 
gency of  her  affliction,  and  sympathizing 
warmly  with  it.  Old  Mrs.  Murray  pulled  out 
her  own  handkerchief,  and  moistened  it  with 
a  few  of  the  hard-wrung  tears  of  age. 

"Don't  let  us  talk  of  it,"  she  said,  softly. 
"  I  am  so  sorry  we  put  you  in  mind  of  it  I" 

"  Don't  blame  yourselves,"  answered  Jo- 
sephine, with  surprising  cheerfulness,  at  the 
same  time  removing  her  handkerchief,  and 
showing  bet  fine  eyes  very  slightly  reddened. 
One  would  be  tempted  to  say  that  there  had 


not  been  above  one  drop  in  each  of  them. 
"  I  shall  learn  to  bear  it  better  some  day,  I 
suppose.    People  do  learn  such  things." 

"God's  will  has  l)een  done,  and  it  is  our 
duty  to  submit,"  observed  Parson  Murray, 
with  a  somewhat  ex-officio  air  and  tone,  for 
which  we  nuist  strive  to  pardon  him,  remem- 
bering how  often  he  was  called  upon  to  make 
such  remarks,  and  also  how  little  he  had  been 
able  to  esteem  "  poor  Augustus." 

"Our  duty  to  submit,"  echoed  Mrs.  Mur- 
ray, in  her  litany  manner. 

A  minute  later  Josephine  was  narrating  to 
the  elders  her  drive  from  the  station,  and 
making  them  laugh  heartily  over  the  damp 
calamities  of  Mr.  Ilollowbread.  She  told  ev- 
ery incident  (except  the  flirting  and  thu 
claim-hunting)  with  an  amazing  miinitencss 
and  with  a  picturesquencss  and  vivacity  of 
language  which  rendered  the  story  almost  a 
work  of  genius.  She  was  iirodigiously  di- 
verting, and  her  hearers  could  not  help  being 
excessively  amused,  although  they  queried 
in  spirit  whether  their  merriment  was  quite 
proper.  They  were  cheerful  old  jieople,  but 
they  had  high  notions  of  the  dignity  incum- 
bent upon  the  Murrays,  who  were  an  ancient 
and  patrician  family. 

"Mr. Hollowbread?"  at  last  inquired  Mrs. 
Murray.  She  wanted  to  get  the  name  exact- 
ly, for  she  kept  a  diary,  and  sho  meant  to 
set  down  the  gist  of  this  tale  in  her  current 
volume.  "  I  thought  you  said  he  was  a 
stranger!"  she  immediately  added,  with  a 
puzzled  air,  bordering  on  suspicion. 

"Oh,  I  heard  his  name  in  the  cars!"  ex- 
plained Josephine.  "Some  people  spoke  to 
him,  and  called  him  Mr.  Hollowbread." 

"A  Congressman  ?  I  never  heard  of  him," 
observed  the  rector,  who  was  something  of 
a  gossip,  but  took  little  interest  in  iiolitical 
personages,  unless  they  were  leading  Aboli- 
tionists'. 

"  I  never  heard  of  him !"  litanied  Mrs. 
Murray.  "But  don't  you  forget  the  name, 
Mr.  Murray,"  she  added,  mindful  of  her  diary. 

Then,  as  it  was  a  late  hour  for  the  old 
lady,  the  jiropriety  of  getting  to  bed  was 
suggested  to  Josephine,  and  she  was  shown 
to  her  room. 

"  She  is  rcnj  entertaining,"  said  tlio  rector 
to  his  wife,  as  they  marched  slowly  to  their 
own  sleepiug-jilace,  a  vast  apartment  on  the 
parlor-floor.  Ho  quite  chuckled  with  satis- 
faction as  he  said  it,  not  merely  because  ho 
himself  had  a  weakness  for  gossii>  and  laugh- 
able narrations,  but  mainlj'  because  he  was 
delighted  at  finding  a  new  toy  for  Mrs.  Mur- 
ray. He  was  that  rare  specimen  of  man 
who  makes  a  pet  of  his  wife;  who  watches 
over  her  well-being  and  happiness  witli  tho 
assiduity  of  a  nu)ther  watching  over  an  only 
child  ;  who  unflinchingly  sacrifices  his  own 
ease  and  his  own  tastes  for  her  comfort,  or 
even  for  her  mere  amusement ;  and  who  is 
disposed  to  use  his  fellow-mortals  as  mere 


22 


PLAYING  THE  mSCHIEF. 


assistants  and  instruments  in  this  loving 
labor. 

Nature  had  made  liim  very  affectionate ; 
nature  bad  made  it  imperative  witb  bim 
that  be  should  have  a  pet,  ■which  should  be 
all  his  own,  aud  subject  to  fondling  by  no 
other  hands ;  and  fortune  had  devised  that 
he  should  only  obtain  such  a  pet  in  the 
shape  of  a  wife.  The  tenderness  and  the 
Bweet  self-abnegation  of  his  character  were 
shown  in  the  extraordinary  choice  which  he 
had  made. 

At  twenty-five,  while  yet  one  of  the  hand- 
somest young  men  of  his  time,  he  married  a 
lady  fifteen  years  his  senior,  mainly  because 
she  had  fallen  desperately  in  love  with  him, 
but  largely,  too,  because  of  his  instinctive 
eagerness  to  be  loved  supremely.  There 
was  money  in  the  match,  but  that  counted 
for  naught  in  his  estimation  ;  he  had  abun- 
dant means  of  his  own.  He  really  married 
out  of  pity — out  of  gratitude  for  preference 
— out  of  affection,  and  a  passionate  yearning 
for  affection. 

It  would  be  difficult  to  imagine  a  more 
devoted  husband  than  he  had  been.  His 
wife  had,  of  course,  rapidly  grown  old  on  his 
hands,  but  his  loyalty,  his  fondness,  his  at- 
tentions had  never  failed,  and  he  had  become 
only  more  tender  witli  the  continuance  of 
Ms  service.  He  had  ruled  his  life  entirely 
to  compass  the  one  end  of  her  happiness. 
When  at  one  time  her  health  failed,  he  gave 
up  his  clerical  duties,  and  traveled  years  for 
lier  sake ;  and  when  she  wished  once  more 
to  see  him  publicly  useful,  he  had,  for  her 
sake,  resumed  his  labors. 

What  must  have  been  still  more  difficult, 
lie  had  subordinated  his  minutes  as  well  as 
liis  years  to  her  comfort,  watching  all  the 
livelong  day  to  care  for  aud  amuse  her.  If 
lie  went  out,  it  was  because  she  wanted  to 
go  with  him  ;  if  he  staid  within,  it  was  be- 
cause she  was  unable  to  go  out.  As  she  ad- 
vanced in  years,  and  her  mind  lost  somewhat 
of  its  early  vigor,  he  sought  trifling  diver- 
eions  for  her. 

At  sixty-three  he  was  a  gossip-monger  aud 
an  inventor  of  child-like  babblings  for  the 
jileasure  of  this  tottering  woman  of  seventy- 
eight.  Many  people  laughed  at  him  for  this 
seemingly  misplaced  tenderness,  and  this 
seemingly  undignified  frivolity  of  mind. 
But  to  one  who  looks  closely  into  his  mo- 
tives, and  who  does  not  object  to  a  one-sided 
development  and  a  waste  of  intellectual 
power,  his  life  can  appear  scarcely  less  than 
beautiful. 

It  was  all  the  more  beautiful  because  it 
had  brought  him  suffering.  Much  watch- 
ing ;  countless  hours  of  confinement  in  close 
rooms  or  in  sick-chambers ;  daily  intercourse 
with  a  person  so  much  his  senior ;  lack  of 
exercise,  and  consequent  loss  of  digestion — 
these  things  had  aged  him  early.  His  white 
hair,  the  paleness  and  ilabbincss  of  his  face, 


his  swollen  joints  aud  feet  and  hands,  the 
tottering  of  his  heavy  gait,  were  aU  signs 
of  disease.  He  was  dropsical,  rheumatic 
and  dyspeptic,  Avith  a  blister  or  two  about 
him  very  frequently,  and  medicine-bottles 
always  upon  his  night-table.  Worse  still, 
his  nervous  constitution  had  suftcred  terri- 
bly, aud  he  was  subject,  in  case  of  irritation, 
to  attacks  of  spasmodic  excitement,  almost 
amounting  to  hysteria. 

It  seemed,  also,  as  if  his  mind  had  deteri- 
orated, so  fond  was  he  of  small  social  gossip 
and  reminiscences,  and  so  much  time  did  he 
spend  in  trivial  conversation. 

There  were  people  wlio  declared  that  Mrs. 
Murray  was  a  younger  spirit  and  a  sounder 
intellect  than  her  husband.  But  strange  as 
his  life  was,  and  deficient  as  it  had  been  in 
exhibition  of  masculine  power,  it  was  moral- 
ly as  spotless  as  the  record  of  a  human  being 
can  well  be.  Never  had  he  done  a  deed 
which  he  might  not  have  confessed  without 
shame  in  the  face  of  the  whole  world. 

"  Yes,  she  is  very  entertaining,"  repeated 
the  rector,  rejoicing  over  his  wife's  new  play- 
thing. 

"Why,  so  she  is,  Mr.  Murray,"  answered 
the  old  lady,  in  equal  gratulatiou.  "  What  a 
story  she  made  of  that  man  getting  out  iu 
the  puddles  aud  rain !"  she  giggled,  iu  a 
spasmodic  way,  as  if  laughing  were  sharp 
exercise  for  her.  "What  was  his  queer 
name?"  she  asked,  looking  for  her  writing- 
materials. 

"  Hol-low-bread  ! — H-o-l-l-o-w-b-r-e-a-d  — 
HoUowbread,"  said  the  rector,  pronouncing 
it  very  idainly,  and  then  spelling  it,  aud  then 
pronouncing  it  again.  "  Mr.  HoUowbread 
— a  Congressman,"  he  explained,  loudly.  "  I 
dare  say  the  soaking  Avas  good  for  him. 
Most  of  those  political  lambs  of  the  Lord's 
flock  need  washing  very  often." 

"  Why,  Mr.  Murray  I"  exclaimed  Mrs.  Mur- 
ray, giggling  again,  but  throwing  up  her 
hands  in  mild  remonstrance. 

Her  husband  Avas  a  joker,  and,  like  many 
other  clergymen,  he  frequently  used  devout 
phraseolog}^  in  a  humorous  sense ;  but,  al- 
though she  had  listened  to  this  sort  of  thing 
from  him  for  forty  years,  she  was  still  not 
entirely  Avonted  to  it. 

"Mr.  HoUowbread!"  she  presently  repeat- 
ed, and  sat  down  to  put  the  name  on  paper. 
It  was  her  custom  to  make  brief  notes  for 
her  diary  before  going  to  bed,  and  then  to 
extend  them  in  the  morning  during  the  hour 
betweeu  dressing  and  breakfast. 

"I  don't  Avondcr  Augustus  Avas  bewitcli- 
cd,"  resumed  Parson  Murray,  after  Availing  for 
madamo  to  finish  her  memoranda.  "  I  don't 
discoA'cr  beauty  so  fre(iucntly  as  some  people 
are  favored  to  do,"  he  added,  remembering, 
perhaps,  that  his  Avife  had  never  been  hand- 
some— at  least,  not  in  his  time.  "  But  Jo- 
seiihine  is  certainly  i^rotty,  as  Avell  as  a  good 
talker." 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


23 


"Why,  so  sho  is,  Mr.  Jliirray,"  a^rocd  tlio 
old  lady,  not  only  -svitbont  jealousy,  but  with 
enthusiasm.  "  ko  wonder  Augustus  was  be- 
■witchcd.  I  do  hope  she  will  behave  herself 
as  one  of  our  family  ought  to.  Wo  will 
keep  her  always,  and  leave  her  something." 

Jlrs.  Murray  had  a  great  respect  for  her 
property.  It  was  inherited  property ;  it  was 
old  family  property ;  it  was  much  uobler 
V  than  earned  property.  To  leave  such  wealth 
as  this  to  any  one  wouUl  be  much  more  than 
enrichment :  it  would  bo  like  conferring  hon- 
ors, decorations,  patents  of  nobility. 

"Don't  talk  about  your  will,  Huldah," 
begged  the  rector.  "  It  always  makes  you 
sick  —  and  me,  too,"  ho  added,  remember- 
ing that  he  must  not  hint  to  her  that  she 
was  specially  feeble.  "  There  will  be  time 
euough  to  consider  about  a  legacy  to  Jo- 
sephine when  she  has  shown  herself  worthy 
of  one." 

"  Well,  I  say  so,  Mr.  Murray — that's  just 
my  opinion — there's  always  plcntij  of  time. 
You  are  always  in  such  a  hurry." 

We  give  this  speech  of  madame's  to  show 
liow  she  emphasized  words,  and  also  wliat 
confusion  she  sometimes  got  into  as  to  who 
Lad  said  which. 

"  She  must  have  been  sobered  since  those 
times,"  continued  Mr.  Murray,  referring  to 
days  when  scandal  had  taken  Josephine  in 
hand.  "She  was  a  mere  child  then — only 
nineteen.  Besides,  Augustus  was  to  blame. 
He  had  no  business  to  love  such  society  as 
he  did,  and  to  lead  his  wife  into  it.  I  can't 
believe  anj-  worse  of  her  than  that  she  suf- 
fered for  being  found  iu  the  company  of  evil- 
doers." 

"He  was  a  harura-scarnm.  To  think  of 
his  spending  and  losing  all  that  money  in 
six  years!  A  hundred  thousand  dollars 
gone  in  six  years!"  exclaimed  Mrs.  Murray, 
lifting  both  her  hands  in  excitement,  as  she 
had  often  lifted  them  before  over  this  finan- 
cial tragedy.  "  How  could  he  do  it  ?  And 
he  only  twenty-seven!  Why,  he  was  only 
married  two  years.  It  wasn't  her  fault,  Mr. 
Munay." 

"She  was  somewhat  extravagant,  I  fear. 
Young  women  iu  these  days  are  brought  up 
to  be  so.  Bnt  it  was  the  stock-gambling 
which  took  the  most  of  it." 

Mrs.  Murray  threw  up  her  hands  again. 
Stock-gambling  was  a  sin  which  had  come 
up  since  her  mind  had  lost  somewhat  in  vig- 
or, and  she  had  never  been  able  to  compre- 
hend its  nature  precisely.  She  had  a  vague 
idea  that  stocks  were  gambled  for  over  card- 
tables,  and  she  could  see  clearly  that  that 
must  be  a  frightfully  wasteful  and  Avicked 
diversion.  To  bet  gold  and  bank-bills  was 
heinous  enough,  but  absolutely  to  bet  one's 
stocks — dear  me ! 

"And  that  is  the  end  of  the  Murray  mon- 
ey on  that  side !"  moaTied  the  lady.  "All  that 
part  of  the  Undivided  gone !"' 


This  word,  "  undivided,"  slio  pronounced 
with  a  sorrowful  reverence  whicli  dcniand.s 
cxphuuition.  Tlio  principal  wealth  of  the 
surviving  Murrays  consisted  in  an  unshared 
estate,  Avliich  had  been  accumulating  under 
wise  management  for  nearly  three-(iuarter,s 
of  a  century,  and  which  had  gradually  be- 
come, not  mcrelj'  a  great  property,  but  also 
an  object  of  family  pride,  and  hereditary 
glory,  11  fetich.  Out  of  this  store  the  fatlier 
of  Augustus  had  withdrawn  his  share,  and 
Augustus  had  Avasted  it. 

"TraA'cling  is  Aery  expensive,"  continue<l 
Mrs.  Murray,  unable  to  (juit  the  Avocful  sub- 
ject of  this  departed  money.  "Augustus  car- 
ried her  all  over  Europe.  Every  one  knows 
that  that  is  expensive." 

"It  cost  us  ten  thousand  a  year,"  answer- 
ed the  rector,  avIio  had  tastes  suitable  to  au 
archbishop,  and  Avould  long  since  haA-e  re- 
duced himself  to  poverty  but  for  his  more 
prudent  Avife.  "I  don't  suppose  they  got 
along  on  a  cent  less.  It  must  be  confessed 
that  some  of  mv  flesh  and  blood  are  fearful 
fools." 

"And  she  only  has  her  own  little  property ! 
HoAV  much  did  you  say  ?  Ouly  five  or  six 
tliousand  dollars!  We  must  leave  her  some- 
thing, Mr.  Murray." 

"Hadn't  Ave  better  wait  till  morning, 
Huldah?"  remonstrated  the  rector,  fearful 
lest  his  venerable  invalid  should  make  her- 
self Avakeful  and  pass  a  bad  night. 

"  Well,  I  say  Avait,  Mr.  Murraj'.  You  are 
always  in  such  a  hurry !  I  meant  to  wait," 
answered  the  old  lady,  just  a  l.ttle  i)eevish- 
ly,  for  she  was  very  tired  and  dozy. 

"Yes,  you  said  so,"  conceded  the  patient 
husband  ;  and  that  was  the  last  of  their  con- 
versation f(U'  that  night. 


CHAPTER  VI. 

A  A'ETEK.AJ^  CL^VI.AI.VXT. 

OXE  of  Josephine  Mun'ay's  first  doings  iu 
Washington  Avas  to  look  up  an  old  acquaint- 
ance, a  certain  Mrs.  Frances  Hooker  Warden, 
Avho,  as  she  undei'stood  from  report,  had  au 
enA'iable  experience  in  the  claim  industry. 

To  save  time,  she  waived  all  ceremony  of 
card  or  message,  and  Avent  unheralded  to  the 
Warden  residence.  It  Avas  a  ]>lain,  small 
brick  house  of  the  old-fashioned  Washington 
type,  Avith  a  rusty,  painted  front,  Avhich  look- 
ed high,  because  it  Avas  very  narrow,  and 
with  a  steep  stone  stairway  climbing  up  to 
tlie  shabby  porch  which  sheltered  its  faded 
door. 

"  I  guess  she  liasn't  g<U  lier  money  2/f^" 
said  Josephine  to  lierself,  glancing  at  the 
blistered  blinds  and  other  unkempt  features 
of  the  time-Avoru  facade  as  she  mounted 
those  penitential  steps. 

Presently  thereafter  she  was  in  a  scant, 


24 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


sombre,  musty  parlor:  a  parlor  carpeted 
with  tbrcadbareuess  aud  curtained  witb 
jaundice  and  furnisbed  witb  rickets :  sucb 
a  parlor  as  one  is  apt  to  fi  nd  in  tbe  "  furnisb- 
ed bouses"  of  cities  wbica  bave  a  "season." 
In  auotber  minute  or  two  Mrs.  Hooker  War- 
den and  ber  daugbter,  Belle  Warden,  Avero 
rustling  up  to  ber  witb  greetings. 

"So  tbis  is  Josie  Umberfield!"  cried  Mrs. 
Warden,  wbo  was  a  lively,  muscular  lady  of 
about  forty-five,  witb  a  brown  complexion, 
unusually  black  and  glittering  eyes,  and 
luxuriant  masses  of  black  bair.  Sbe  spoke, 
by-tbe-way,  witb  an  eager  smile,  wbicb  bad 
been  considered  fascinating  -svben  sbe  was 
young,  but  wbicb  now  bad  an  air  of  baving 
been  used  too  often,  and  got  worn  to  trans- 
parent tbinness.  "  I  am  delig;bted  to  see 
you  as  Mrs.  Murray — deligbted  to  see  you 
by  any  name,"  sbe  rattled  on.  "Are  you  to 
stay  some  time  in  Wasbington  ?  I  am  so 
glad !     Do  you  remember  Belle  ?" 

"  How  could  I  forget  ber!"  exclaimed  Jo- 
sepbine,  wbo  could  say  nice  tbings  to  women 
as  well  as  to  men.  "  Sbe  was  one  of  tbe  good 
girls  at  our  scbool  wbo  were  pretty." 

Belle  Warden,  a  tall  and  Juuonian  blonde 
of  nineteen,  witb  regular  features  and  no- 
ticeably clear,  steady  gray  eyes,  smiled  bos- 
pitably,  but  witb  a  sort  of  statuesque  calm- 
ness. 

"  You  are  very  good  to  say  tbat,  ISIrs.  Mur- 
ray," sbe  replied,  witb  tbat  tone  of  sincerity 
and  gravity  wbicb  seems  to  belong  to  con- 
tralto voices.  "  I  wisb  I  coxild  bave  gone 
to  your  wedding.  It  was  kind  of  you  to  in- 
vite us." 

"I  would  bave  asked  you  to  be  brides- 
maid, if  you  bad  been  old  euougb,"  declared 
Josepbine.  "  You  know  I  was  immensely 
your  senior  at  scbool." 

"  Tbree  years'  difterence  was  a  great  deal 
in  tliose  days.  You  were  one  of  tbe  grand 
ladies  of  tbe  first  class,  and  I  was  your  bum- 
ble admirer." 

"  You  are  still.  Belle,"  smiled  Mrs.  W^irden. 
"  Why  didn't  you  say  so  ?  Belle  is  just  like 
a  man,  Mrs.  Murray — or,  ratber,  like  a  man 
on  bis  oatb.  Sbe  weigbs  every  word  sol- 
emnly, and  tbinks  twice  over  a  compliment, 
even  wben  it  is  true." 

"Dear  me,  wbat  obstacles  to  conversa- 
tion!" laugbed  Mrs. Murray.  "If  I  weigh- 
ed my  words,  I  sliould  stutter  dreadfully, 
and  end  by  turning  dumb.  But  do  bave 
tbe  goodness,  both  of  you,  to  call  mo  Josie. 
I  want  to  bring  back  tbe  pleasant  old  times 
wben  I  used  to  frolic  at  your  bouse  in  New 
York ;  besides,  I  want  to  bo  intimate.  Do 
you  know  I  bave  no  friends  in  Wasbington 
except  ]ny  venerable  relatives  by  marriage, 
tbe  Murrays  ?  I  want  friends,  coulidants, 
advisers,  belpers." 

"  Wby  not  take  tbe  venerable  relatives?" 
in(inired  BolK\  "  Tliey  are  excellent  peo- 
ple ;  tbe  old  colonel  is  maguificeut." 


"  Wbat  a  creature  you  are.  Belle !"  laugh- 
ed Mrs.  Warden.  "  There  is  Mrs. — I  mean 
Josie — ready  to  jump  into  our  arms;  and 
you  suggest  the  Murrays.  Don't  you  un- 
derstand that  sbe  wants  to  tell  us  some- 
thing, and  wants  sympathy  ?" 

"  Tbe  Murrays  are  too  venerable  and  too 
other-worldisb,"  explained  Josie,  as  we  will 
mainly  call  ber  hereafter.  "  Yes,  I  want  to 
tell  you  something,  aud  to  have  you  encour- 
age me,  aud  say, '  How  nice !'  But  don't  let 
us  harry  about  it." 

Then  there  was  a  talk  concerning  other 
days,  by  which  it  appeared  that  Josie  bad 
been  a  wild  girl  at  school,  and  that  Mrs. 
Warden  bad  led  a  gay  social  career  in  New 
York,  very  much  to  her  taste,  except  in  the 
matter  of  expense. 

At  last  the  conversation  veered  around 
once  more  to  the  object  of  the  visitor  in 
coming  to  Washington.  Witb  many  mis- 
givings Josie  unfolded  that  enchanted  bud- 
get of  ber  claim,  which  sometimes  seemed  to 
her  to  contain  a  fortune,  and  sometimes  to 
bave  nothing  in  it. 

"And  you  must  advise  me,"  she  said,  lay- 
:  iug  her  burden  at  the  feet  of  Mrs.  Warden 
witb  tbe  boundless  faith  of  a  novice  in  the 
wisdom  of  that  blundering  A'eteran,  Experi- 
ence, "  You  must  tell  me  how  these  things 
are  pushed  aud  carried." 

I      "  Poor  mamma !"  connnented  Belle,  in  her 
'  calm  contralto,  and  witb  her  grave  and,  so 
to  speak,  manly  smile.      "  She  wishes  she 
knew." 

"  Nonsense,  Bt'lle !  I  f7o  know,"  answered 
Mrs.  Warden,  in  a  rather  cattish,  spitting 
fashion.  "  I  know  as  much  about  it  as  any 
woman,  or  any  body,  in  Washington.  You 
will  admit  it  some  day,  wben  I  bring  you  in 
my  money — and  no  thanks  to  you,  either! 
But  it  does  take  work  and  time,  my  dear," 
she  confessed,  turning  to  Josie.  "Pcrhaiis 
I  had  better  tell  you  all  about  my  own  claim," 
sbe  continued,  very  naturally,  tliat  being  a 
subject  on  which  slie  could  not  help  talking 
wben  chance  offered.  "  You  know  I  am  a 
groafc-granddaughter  of  the  famous  revolu- 
tionary naval  hero.  Commodore  John  Saul 
Hooker.  I  am  the  last  stem  of  tlio  race — I 
mean  Belle  is.     Tliat  is  my  claim." 

"  Did  tbe  Government  owe  him  anything?" 
asked  Josie,  her  mind  turning  to  barns,  bay- 
ricks,  and  the  like. 

"Owe  him  any  thing!  It  owed  him  its 
salvation,  more  than  likely.  How  do  wo 
know  that  our  revolutionary  sires  would 
ever  have  broken  the  yoke  of  England,  if  it 
had  not  been  for  bis  exertions,  his  triumphs, 
and  bis  heroism  ?  My  view  is,  that,  except- 
ing Washington,  Greene,  and  one  or  two  oth- 
er generals,  the  country  owes  more  to  John 
Saul  Hooker  than  to  any  other  man  wbo 
ever  lived." 

"  To  bo  sure,"  assented  Josie,  conscious  of 
a  momentary  spasm  in  her  throat  as  she  con- 


PLAYING  THE  MISCniEF. 


ceded  to  herself  that  Mrs.  Warden's  claim 
was  far  more  imposiug  tliau  her  own. 

"  Onr  stupid  Cougress,"  coutiuucd  Com- 
modore Jolin  Saul  Hookers  great-grand- 
daughter Avitli  animation,  "gave  Signora 
Ameriga  Vespucci  twenty  thousand  dollars 
because  she  was  the  remote  descendant  of 
the  man  who  discovered  tliis  country.  Now, 
I  say  tliat  it  owes  something  more,  a  vast 
deal  more,  to  the  near  descendant  of  the 
man  who  saved  it." 

"  lint,  you  see,  there  was  a  great  deal  more 
interest  due  on  the  Vespucci  debt,"  put  in 
I3elle.     "Two  centuries  more  of  interest." 

"Belle,  do  stop!"  snapped  Mrs.  Warden, 
making  a  face  at  her  satirical  daughter. 
"  I  do  think  it  is  shabbily  undutiful  in  you 
to  sneer  at  your  great -great -grandfather's 
services,  and  at  your  mother's  labors ;  and 
all  my  work  is  for  you,  too.  And  I  don't 
believe  that  woman  was  a  bit  of  a  Vespucci, 
either ;  I  believe  she  was  nothing  but  an  Ital- 
ian adventuress.  It's  an  everlasting  shame 
to  the  Congressmen  of  that  time  to  have  been 
so  humbugged  by  such  an  impostor — that  is, 
if  she  was  one.  Twenty  thousand  dollars 
to  an  I  don't  know  what,  because  she  called 
herself  Ameriga  Vespucci,  and  dressed  in  sol- 
id velvet !  And  here  I,  the  near  relative  of 
John  Saul  Hooker,  with  a  perfectly  made-ont 
genealogy  and  a  position  in  our  best  Ameri- 
can society — I  can't  get  an  appropriation !" 

"  But  you  are  going  to  get  one,"  added 
Josie,  willing  to  say  something  jdeasant, 
and  eager  to  believe  that  api)ropriatious 
were  attainable. 

"  Oh,  yes,  I  am  going  to  get  one,"  pugna- 
ciously declared  Mrs.  Warden,  already  given 
over  to  the  possession  of  the  claim-hunting 
spirit — a  fiend  as  bewildering  as  the  imps  of 
the  gambling-table  and  the  lottery-wheel. 
"  If  I  work  at  these  stupid  wretches  twenty 
years  for  it,  I  will  have  one.  I  mean  that 
justice  shall  bo  done  in  this  one  instance, 
whatever  it  costs." 

"But  if  it  should  cost  more  than  it  comes 
to  ?"  sighed  Josie,  remembering  her  own 
venture  rather  than  Mrs.  Warden's. 

"  That  is  worth  saying,  Mrs.  Murray,"  put 
in  Belle.  "Keeping house  and  receiving  are 
very  expensive  in  Washington ;  and  Avhen 
you  don't  get  your  appropriation,  after 
all—" 

"Oh,  Belle!''  broke  in  mamma,  with  a 
sharp  hitch  other  shoulders,  half  tremulous 
and  half  piteous.  "Yon  Avill  break  my  spir- 
its and  my  heart  some  day.  You  are  harder 
to  carry  than  forty  claims." 

The  daughter  had  the  good  sense  and 
self-command  to  refrain  from  a  defense  of 
herself,  and  so  to  avoid  a  dialogue  of  re- 
criminations. Apparently,  she  had  fought 
many  battles  with  her  mother  on  this  sub- 
ject of  claim-hunting,  and  had  learned  to 
confine  her  warfare  to  an  occasional  protest 
or  sarcasm. 


"  I  shall  get  enough  to  pay  mo  well,"  per- 
sisted Mrs.  Warden,  petulantly.  "I  have 
laid  my  claim  at  one  hundred  thousand  dol- 
lars. It  is  the  least — don't  you  think  so, 
Josie? — that  Congress  can  have  the  face  to 
allow  me.  And  I  shall  get  it  —  that  is, 
eventually,  and  pretty  soon,  too — I  know  I 
shall.  One  gets  used  to  figuring  up  chances 
at  last.     Ha,  ha!" 

She  did  not  look  the  confidence  which  she 
uttered.  She  had  an  air  of  remembering 
many  disappointments,  and  of  glancing  for- 
ward askance,  unwillingly,  to  many  more. 
This  brief  talk  concerning  her  claim  seemed 
to  have  worn  upon  her — to  have  sharpened 
her  features  and  blanched  her  color.  She 
was  an  older  woman  apparently  than  when 
she  had  rustled  buxomly  into  the  room  to 
greet  a  visitor,  whose  mere  name  brought 
back  less  anxious  and  more  cheerful  years. 

As  Josie  gazed  at  this  veteran  of  the 
world,  a  brunette  like  herself,  and  reputed 
to  have  been  once  a  beauty,  but  now  prema- 
turely faded  and  seamed  with  ill-rewarded 
coquetry  and  fruitless  intriguing,  she  had 
an  uneasy  sense  that  she  was  surveying  her- 
self grown  older. 

As  she  noted  those  eager,  egotistic,  unhap- 
py black  eyes,  that  varnish  of  thin,  cracked 
gayetj'  over  a  visible  ground  of  disappoint- 
ment and  dissatisfaction,  that  hysterical  vi- 
vacity of  manner  which  so  reminded  you  of 
the  tremor  of  one  carrying  a  heavy  load, 
she  asked  herself  rather  woefully.  Shall  I 
ever  be  like  that?  But  this  gloom  was 
only  for  a  moment ;  the  healthj-  and  hand- 
some and  youthful  are  not  naturallj'  proph- 
ets of  evil;  and  very  rare  indeed  is  it  that 
they  foresee  ultimate  failure  as  their  own 
lot. 

"But  how  do  you  do  it?"  she  present- 
ly asked,  as  if  the  great-granddaughter  of 
John  Saul  Hooker  had  done  it.  "  Whom  do 
you  go  to?  How  do  you  put  things  to 
them  ?  What  do  you  do  and  say  ?  I  want 
to  know  every  thing." 

"  Oh,  I  can  tell  you  every  thing.  I  know 
every  thing,"  affirmed  Mrs.  Warden,  not  a 
little  vain  of  her  knowledge,  though  it  had 
brought  her  so  little  and  cost  her  so  much. 
"  During  the  last  three  years  I  have  done 
every  thing,  positively  every  thing,  that  a 
lady  can  do." 

At  this  point  Belle  colored,  as  if  aware 
that  her  mother  had  done  some  things 
which  a  lady  should  not  do,  not  cveu  in 
Washington. 

"  The  main  thing  is  to  work,  work,  work !" 
continued  Mrs.  Warden,  with  happy  com- 
pendionsness.  "Never  give  it  up;  stick  to 
it  every  day,  and  year  after  year;  work, 
work,  work !" 

The  repetition  of  this  word  seemed  to  help 
her,  to  console  her  for  failures,  to  give  her 
courage  and  hope. 

"  But  work  how?"  inquired  Josie.     "  You 


26 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


■lit  as  well  tell  me  to  reflect,  or  to  ci- 


ph 

"To  be  sure,"  laiiglied  Mrs.  Warden,  a 
lively  iiersou  and  fond  of  a  joke.  "  You  are 
the  same  Josie  Umberfield.  Hovr  you  used 
to  amuse  me  in  those  New  York  days  with 
your  sarcasms  on  the  beaus !  You  can  do  it 
yet,  I  see." 

"Oh,  I  don't  sarcasm  it  any  longer.  It 
doesn't  i^ay.  Men  don't  like  to  be  sarcasm- 
ed.  You  can  get  a  great  deal  more  out  of 
them  with  compliments  ;  and,  after  all,  you 
have  to  go  to  them  for  almost  every  thing — 
as,  for  instance,  in  claim-hunting." 

"'  I  wish  women  could  vote ;  then  it 
wouldn't  be  so.  If  I  do  fail  in  this  demand 
of  mine  for  justice,  I  solemnly  mean  to  turn 
woman's  rights  woman,  and  go  to  agitating. 
If  we  had  a  Congress  of  ladies — " 

"  Then  you  and  I  wouldn't  get  any  mon- 
ey," interrupted  Josie.  "Pretty  young  gen- 
tlemen would  have  it  all.  I  think  we  had 
better  trust  our  affairs  to  male  legislators. 
/But  do  tell  me,  Mrs.  Warden,  how  you  work 
^  at  them,  as  you  call  it,  to  make  them  nice." 

"  Well,  just  as  you  work  at  men  for  other 
things,"  laughed  the  elder  coquette.  "Ask 
them  for  what  you  want.  Coax  them.  Pout 
at  them.     Then  coax  them  again." 

"For  shame,  mamma!"  burst  out  Belle, 
blushing  with  humiliation  over  the  mater- 
nal trickeries. 

"  For  shame  yourself.  Belle,  for  throwing 
it  all  on  me .'"  retorted  the  mother.  "  If  you 
had  only  helped  me  the  least  bit,  we  should" 
have  had  our  money  long  since,  and  almost 
without  trouble." 

"I  will  not  degrade  myself  for  any  pur- 
Ijose,"  snapped  this  young  lady,  who  was 
certainly  troubled  with  self-res^iect,  and, 
perhaps,  with  a  temper. 

"  Oh,  you  chickeu!"  smiled  Josie.  "You 
will  learn  better  some  day.  Consider  the 
/weakness  of  us  poor  women.  When  you  get 
married,  you  will  have  to  coax  your  hus- 
band." 

"  I  will  ask  him  for  nothing  which  he  is 
not  able  to  give  and  willing  to  give,"  de- 
clared the  young  idealist.  "  At  all  events, 
he  will  be  my  husband,  and  not  the  husband 
of  somebody  else  ;  I  shall  have  a  right  to  go 
to  him  for  money.  Excuse  me  if  I  seem  to 
be  reproving  you,  Mrs.  Murray.  I  don't 
mean  it.  But  I  do  want  my  mother  to  keep 
away  from  such  business  as  she  talks  of. 
She  is — I  iciU  say  it — too  old." 

It  was  a  sharp  blow,  we  must  admit,  and 
no  wonder  Mrs.  Warden  flinched  under  it. 

"  Belle  I"  she  gasped,  her  eyes  sparkling 
with  anger  and  then  filling  with  tears. 
"How  considerate  and  polite  to  your  moth- 
er! It  seems  to  me  you  might  find  some 
other  fashion  of  expressing  your  regard  for 
me." 

"Let  us  talk  of  something  else,"  suggested 
Josie,  who  saw  that  she  had  stepped  into  an 


old  quarrel  between  parent  and  child,  and 
found  the  situation  embarrassing.  "  It  is  all 
my  fault.     I  had  no  business  to — " 

"No!  we  will  talk  of  //u's,"  insisted  Mrs. 
Warden,  calling  up  her  spunk  and  giving 
Belle  a  repressive  glance.  "  What  was  I 
saying  ?  Oh,  I  was  telling  you  how  to  wake 
up  our  lazy,  addle -headed,  obstinate  mem- 
bers of  Congress,"  she  continued,  turning 
her  indignation  upon  that  imperfect  body. 
"  Well,  to  begin  Avith,  it  might  be  well  for 
you  to  give  dinners  and  receptions." 

"  I  am  not  keeping  house,  you  know,"  in- 
terjected Josie. 

"  But  won't  the  Murrays  help  you  ?  They 
are  rich  and  have  inflneuce,  and  might  help 
you  just  as  well  as  not." 

"  Colonel  Murray  and  Rector  Murray !" 
exclaimed  Belle.  "  My  dear  mamma,  do  you 
consider  what  sort  of  people  they  are?  Don't 
you  remember  how  fastidious  the  colonel  is 
about  Government  money?" 

"No;  I  suppose  they  won't  help  me;  not 
in  this  business,"  admitted  Josie. 

"  I  suppose  they  won't,"  echoed  Mrs.  War- 
den. "  The  colonel  thinks  a  Government 
sixpence  is  sacred,  and  nobody  should  have 
it  but  the  departments.  He  is  a  perfect  old 
fogy,  and  sometimes  I  hate  him,"  she  de- 
clared, quite  honestly,  though  sometimes  she 
was  far  from  hating  him,  and  would  have 
been  pleased  at  any  time  to  have  a  right  to 
L6ve  him.  "  Well,  if  you  can't  receive,  you 
/must  be  received.  You  must  go  to  all  the 
"^parties,  and  be  in  society  all  the  while.  We 
will  go  together.  We  will  work  together. 
You  shall  help  me,  and  I  will  help  you.  Is 
it  a  bargain?  Good!  Then  we  will  conquer. 
As  Belle  has  had  the  kindness  to  tell  me, 
I  am  too  old  to  work  alone.  Congressmen 
prefer  to  be  petitioned  by  a  younger  lady. 
Biyt  I  can  advise,  and  you  can  •execute. 
Well,  you  must  pick  out  your  man,  and  then 
you  must  enchant  and  bewilder  him,  and 
then  you  must  put  your  case  in  his  hands. 
Of  course,  you  know  how  to  enchant  and 
bewildei'.  You  always  did  know  that." 
,.  "I  have  picked  out  my  man,"  said  Josie. 
"Do  you  know  a  certain  Honorable  Mr.  Hol- 
lowbread  ?" 


CHAPTER  VIL 

COUNTING   UNHATCHED   CHICKENS. 

"  Mr.  Hoixowbkead  !''  stared  Mrs.  War- 
den, marveling  that  Josie  had  chosen,  as  her 
champion,  an  old  gentleman  instead  of  one 
of  the  youthfnl  Solons  whom  she  was  in  tlio 
habit  of  selecting — first  one,  and  then  anoth- 
er, or,  perhaps,  half  a  dozen  together — for  tho 
future  service  and  glory  of  her  daughter. 

"  You  could  not  possibly  do  better,"  she 
immediately  added,  well  pleased  that  her 
coquettish  j'onng  friend  should  bo  so  easily 
contented,  and  hoping  that  she  might  stay 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


27 


so.  "Mr.  Hollowbrcad  is  ouo  of  tlio  solid 
old  members — one  of  the  most  respectable 
men,  for  ability  and  character,  tliat  wo  liavo 
— and  really  worth  having  for  a  backer,  I  do 
assure  yon.  Ibit  is  he  interested— bewitch- 
ed and  bewildered — already  ?"  she  asked,  a 
sudden  pang  of  jealousy  shooting  through 
her  heart  at  the  thought  that  this  rival  claim 
might  win  before  her  own. 

Thereupon  Josie  narrated  tho  adventures 
of  tho  previous  evening,  including  everyone 
of  Mr.  IloUowbread's  gentilities  and  duck- 
ings. She  told  the  tale  in  her  incomparable 
style,  flinging  it  out  in  a  perfect  torrent  of 
unhesitating,  gleeful  prattle,  and  giggling 
tho  while  witli  the  malicious  fun  of  those 
denii-gods  (if  there  bo  such)  who  pass  their 
lime  in  laughing  at  poor  humanity. 

There  aro  rare  persons,  and  usually  they 
are,  I  believe,  women,  who  have  this  talent 
of  brisk,  dashing,  irresistible  narration  —  a 
talent  which  comes  to  them  by  fits  and  starts, 
and  which  has  an  air  of  iusiiiration.  It  is 
useless  to  describe  them  ;  it  is  impossible  to 
give  an  adequate  report  of  them;  the  charm 
lies  in  the  tlueucy  and  in  the  manner.  The 
delivery  of  a  comic  passage  by  a  first-class 
actor  can  alone  render  a  fair  idea  of  this  ex- 
traordinary natural  power.  Mrs.  Warden 
lau'ghed  over  the  Hollowbread  disasters  un- 
til she  screamed  and  cried,  and  held  her 
Lauds  to  her  sides.  Even  Belle,  though  dis- 
posed to  criticise  Josie  for  her  traveling 
freedoms,  could  not  help  being  amused. 

"  There  is  no  fool  like  an  old  fool,"  com- 
mented Mrs.  Warden  at  last,  not  in  the  least 
meaning  herself,  though  a  llirt  at  forty-five. 

"That  is  no  compliment  to  Mrs.  Murray," 
said  Belle,  recovering  her  self-possession  so 
far  as  to  disapprove  of  that  lady,  and  to  de- 
sire to  give  her  a  little  dig. 

"We  can't  choose  who  shall  like  us,"  an- 
swered the  mother.  "  You  don't  admire  Mr. 
Hamilton  Bray,  and  yet  he  admires  you." 

This,  by -the -way,  was  a  reference  to  a 
courtship  which  Mrs.  Warden  wanted  to  dis- 
courage, as  not  oftering  an  alliance  grand 
enough  for  her  daughter.  It  has  doubtless 
been  observed  already  that  she  was  excess- 
ively proud  of  Belle,  and  in  her  was^iish  way 
very  fond  of  her. 

"Oh,  do  let  Jlr.  Bray  pass !"  pouted  the 
girl.  "  I  don't  like  even  to  hear  about  him. 
Y'ou  needn't  bo  afraid  that  we  shall  ever 
come  to  terms.  We  disagree  too  much  on  a 
subject  that  he  takes  a  great  interest  in.  He 
thinks  he  is  amazingly  clever,  and  I  think 
he  isn't." 

"He  is  clever  enough  to  admire  you, 
miss,"  bragged  mamma. 

"  Oh,  that  doesn't  require  any  cleverness," 
put  in  Josie,  normally  quick  at  a  compliment, 
and  in  tho  present  case  anxious  to  please. 

"  Josie  Murray,  you  ar*  an,  angel !"  said 
the  elder  lady.  "  Now  to  pay  you  for  that, 
we  will  go  back  to  Mr.  Hollowbread.     I  ad- 


vise you  to  keep  him  in  view.  Among  o^^:: . 
IhingH,  he  is  very  rich.  Oh,  yes,  indeed  !u  A 
million  or  so  —  that  is,  so  every  body  says. 
He  might  answer  for  a  husband,  if  yon  don't 
mind  hair-dye  and  some  other  extras." 

"Is  he  so  rich?"  stared  our  heroine. 
"  Then  what  does  he  stay  in  Congress  for?" 
"Why,  what  would  you  havo  him  do?'' 
asked  Mrs.  Warden,  who  had  long  since  been 
bitten  by  tho  Washingtim  madness,  and  ^ 
thought  politics  the  noblest  of  earthly  pur 
suits. 

"  If  I  were  a  rich  man,  I  would  never  do 
a  stitch  of  work,"  was  the  sybaritic  answer. 
"  I  would  spend  my  money  ;  I  would  have  a 
palatial  residence ;  I  Avouldgive  dinners  and 
parties  ;  I  would  take  tho  lead  in  society ; 
I  would  swing  between  New  York  and  Eu- 
rope. Why,  it  would  bo  sufficient  occuiia- 
tion  and  amusement  for  one  year  to  build 
and  fit  up  and  furnish  one's  own  house," 
continued  this  little  worldling,  who,  in  try- 
ing to  imagine  herself  a  man,  remained  a 
Avoman.  "  Such  houses  as  they  are  getting 
now  in  the  upper  part  of  New  York  !  Oh,  • 
they  havo  improved  greatly  since  you  were 
there.  Every  year  makes  a  difference  for 
the  better.  I  know  a  dozen,  twenty — per- 
haps fifty — residences,  Avhere  the  mere  front- 
doors cost  from  five  hundred  to  a  thousand 
dollars  each.  Now,  imagine  what  you  go 
into  when  you  i)ass  through  a  thousand  dol- 
lars to  get  to  it.  It  is  something  like  the 
imlace  of  Aladdin,  or  Solomon's  Temple." 

Mrs.  Warden,  and  even  her  graver,  wiser 
daughter,  was    evidently   interested.      The 
woman   of  our   day  is   fascinated   by   the 
mere  idea  of  lavishing  money  in  profusion. 
Doubtless  the  reason  is  not  far  to  seek;  it  is 
no  longer  her  business  to  earn,  but  merely   ,^ 
to  spend ;  she  has  ceased  to  bo  a  producer,  |  v 
and  become  merely  a  consumer.     The  fault  I 
lies  not  upon  any  individual,  but  iipon  all 
society. 

"  Heavenly  doors  !"  pursued  Josie,  warm- 
ing with  her  subject.  "  Pauelings  and  carv- 
ings three  inches  deep;  plaques  of  bronze 
from  France;  windows  in  Bohemian  glass! 
And  then  yon  go  in  over  parquetries  of  oak 
and  black-walnut,  laid  in  lozenges  and  all 
sorts  of  patterns.  I  like  encaustic  tiles  the 
best,  though.  I  wish  you  could  see  some 
of  tho  hall -chairs  they  make  now.  Mr. 
Griper  Jinks's  chairs  have  griftins  at  tho  sides 
supporting  tlie  family  shield  (he  has  ances- 
tors just  about  as  nuich  as  an  ape),  and  they 
are  all  of  the  most  elaborately  carved  oak 
and  rose-wood,  and  cost  a  hundred  apiece. 
Stair-carpets  aro  Aubusson,  now  fifteen  dol- 
lars a  yard,  though  the  Dutch  rugs  are  com- 
ing in.  Wilton  has  completely  gone  out. 
Room  carpets  are  generally  Aubusson,  made 
to  order,  fifteen  dollars  the  yard.  Jlrs.  Jarcd 
Jones's  suite  of  three  parlors  used  up  about 
one  thousand  dollars  in  carpets  alone.  And 
the  pier-glasses  cost  as  much  more." 


28 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


"  It  is  -wicked,"  said  Belle. 

"Yes;  thiuk  of  the  heathen,  Tvho  might 
be  converted  with  only  one  pier-glass," 
laughed  Josie. 

"  I  Avish  I  conld  he  as  sinful,"  sighed  Mrs. 
Warden,  her  Llack  eyes  sparkling  with  hoth 
pleasure  and  envy.  "  Well,  when  my  claim 
comes  in !  Mr.  Jared  Jones  is  dead,  isn't 
he  ?     What  are  curtains  made  of  now  ?" 

'•Lace,  damask,  satin  — any  thing,"  an- 
swered Josie.  "  Yes,  Mr.  Jared  Jones  is 
dead.  Lamhrequins  and  draperies  are  in 
style,  if  you  fancy  them  ;  and  of  course  most 
people  do." 

"  Do  i)oor  people  fancy  them  much  ?"  ask- 
ed Belle. 

"  Pshaw !  what  have  poor  people  to  do 
with  it  ?"  sputtered  mamma,  impatient  at 
this  interruption  to  the  fairy  tale.  "  They 
get  their  living  by  making  these  very  things, 
and  that  is  enough  for  them.  Of  course  one 
wants  lambrequins  or  draperies." 

"  Yes,  a  window  looks  bare  with  nothing 
but  lace,"  agreed  Josie.  "  Brussels  costs 
one  hundred  and  twenty-five  dollars  a  win- 
dow, and  Cluny  insertion  two  hundred.  But 
I  know  some  houses  —  Mrs.  Manikin's  and 
old  Griper  Jinks's,  for  instance — where  tliey 
liave  real-thread  lace,  fifteen  hundred  dollars 
a  window !  Put  on  six  hundi-ed  for  damask 
and  two  hundred  for  lambrequins,  and  you 
get  something  worth  making  a  courtesy  to. 
Just  thiuk  of  it !  twenty-three  hundred  dol- 
lars a  window — forty-six  hundred  dollars 
for  the  two !"  exclaimed  the  jienniless  Cle- 
opatra, her  mouth  absolutely  watering. 
"And  then  the  furniture — oh  !  They  make 
chair -covers  now  of  Gobelin  or  Cretonne; 
you  can  imagine  the  cost.  And  the  furni- 
ture is  suitable  —  two  thousand  dollars  a 
room!  And  that  is  nothing.  I  know  one 
ebony  cabinet,  inlaid  with  ivory,  that  came 
to  two  thousand ;  and  then  there  are  tables 
of  inlaid  marquetry  and  tables  of  Florentine 
mosaic,  some  of  them  twelve  or  fifteen  hun- 
dred apiece  ;  all  sorts  of  lovely  gimcracks  at 
fabulous  prices.  Twenty-five  hundred  dol- 
lars is  moderate  for  the  fitting-up  of  a  parlor 
in  mere  chairs,  sofas,  and  upholstery  ;  there 
are  some  which  cost  ten  times  that.  Aud 
this,  mind  you,  doesn't  include  the  statues 
aud  pictures  and  bronzes,  and  albums  of  en- 
gravings, and  that  sort  of  artistic  finishing. 
Oh,  when  you  come  to  that,  there  is  no  foot- 
ing it  up.  A  real  first-class,  tip-top,  nobby 
and  snobby  New  York  parlor  represents  a 
fortune.  Of  course  I  don't  mean  that  peo- 
ple in  good  style  keep  all  their  art  in  their 
parlors.  Every  body  who  is  any  body  has  a 
gallery,  now.  But  I  never  cared  so  much 
for  walls  full  of  jiaintings.  Tliey  are  very 
pretty,  and  of  course  they  are  chic.  But  I 
sliould  be  satisfied  witli  a  handsome  suite 
of  rooms,  saj  tliree  parlors  ;  and  well  fitted 
uji,  say  ten  or  twenty  thousand  apiece." 

"  I  should  bo  satisfied  with  less,"  sighed 


Mrs.  Warden,  who  knew  by  experience  how 
hard  it  is  to  get  money,  even  in  small  quan- 
tities. 

Belle  said  nothing.  Slio  had  no  special 
taste  for  expenditure,  and  could  not  catch 
fire  ?.t  the  thought  of  it.  It  was  wonderful 
that  such  a  straightforward,  sensible,  judi- 
cial young  person  should  be  the  child  of  sucli 
au  excitable,  adventurous,  flirtish,  sly  old 
imssy-cat  as  Mrs.  Hooker  Warden. 

Tlae  explanation  is  that  Belle  was  in  ev- 
ery respect,  jihysically  aud  intellectually  and 
morally,  the  image  of  her  deceased  father, 
James  Warden,  a  lawyer  of  more  than  ordi- 
nary ability,  who  had  been  too  conscientious 
to  plead  unjust  causes,  and  who  had  won  fees 
and  fame  but  slowly.  This  resemblance  the 
mother  had  often  noted  and  lamented,  with 
a  sarcastic,  impatient,  whimsical  pathos  wor- 
thy of  study  rather  than  of  sympathy. 

"Belle  is  James  all  over,"  she  often  said. 
"It  is  like  being  married  twice  to  the  same 
man.  I  wish  to  gracious  that  my  girl  had 
been  born  a  boy.  She  is  altogether  too  gen- 
tlemanly for  petticoats.  There  was  a  mis- 
take somewhere,  and  it  will  always  keexi  its 
in  a  muddle.  As  a  man,  she  would  be  per- 
fect ;  but  as  a  woman,  she  is  a  failure.  If 
she  would  only  use  her  beauty,  as  other  hand- 
some gii'ls  do,  she  could  have  any  body,  or 
do  any  thing.    But  she  ivou^t  use  it — she 

To  return  to  the  interview  between  the 
three  ladies,  we  will  say  that  there  was  much 
more  delightful  discourse  about  palatial  resi- 
dences, their  outtittings,and  their  occupants. 
Cornices  and  ceilings  were  described  and  dis- 
cussed ;  so  were  frescoes,  of  course  in  oil-col- 
ors and  of  Italian  delineation  ;  so  were  crys- 
tal finger-plates  and  bronze  door-knobs  aud 
sconces  ;  so  were  dinner-sets  and  breakfast- 
sets  and  tea-sets ;  so  were  dresses  and  bon- 
nets. 

And  the  chain  which  linked  all  these  lux- 
urious items — the  sentiment  which  made  this 
conversation  a  delight  to  the  speakers — was 
not  an  appreciation  of  art  or  of  perfect  handi- 
work, but  satisfaction  in  mere  outlay-.  It 
was  the  cost,  the  expeiuliture,  the  ostenta- 
tious extravagance,  which  made  Josie  Mur- 
ray smack  her  lips,  so  to  speak,  as  she  dis- 
coursed of  New  York  grandeur. 

Listening  to  her  frequent  relVrence  to  the 
price  of  things,  oue  could  easily  divine  the 
feeling  whicli  had  brought  her  to  Washing- 
ton, and  set  her  feet  in  the  ways  of  the  claim- 
ant. She  desired  money,  and  was  willing  to 
obtain  money  in  any  permitted  fashion,  for 
the  mere  purpose  of  making  a  show  with  it. 
Satan  himself,  after  six  thousand  years  of  go- 
ing up  and  down  in  the  earth,  and  walking 
to  and  fro  in  it,  could  hardly  have  been  more 
worldly. 

As  Ibr  Mrs.  Wimlen,  wo  nnist  do  her  the 
justice  to  state  that,  while  she  was  (piite  as 
covetous  in  her  longings,  and  as  little  punc 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


S9 


tilious  as  to  tlio  ways  and  moans  (5f  satisfy- 1 
iug  them,  tlic  loading  motive  of  her  rapacity 
■was  lovo  for  her  daughter,  a  trait  amiuljlo 
even  in  a  harpy. 

"But,  my  dear,  Imsiness  before  pleasure," 
said  Mrs.  W.,  at  last.  "  Wo  must  stop  talk- 
ing about  these  fine  things,  and  see  how  wo 
are  to  got  them.  I  shall  have  to  introduce 
you  to  some  Congressmen  of  the  available 
sort.  Your  cxcollont  relatives  are  dreadful- 
ly other-worldly,  as  you  say,  and  won't  take 
you  among  tlio  people  j-on  need  to  know. 
The  only  political  principalities  and  powers 
that  they  consort  witli  are  such  old-styled 
grandees  as  Senator  Ledyard  and  Eepresent- 
ative  Payson,  who  never  touch  any  thing 
but  national  measures,  and  put  their  moral 
pocket-handkerchiefs  to  their  noses  when 
they  see  a  private  claim.  Mr.  Hollowbread, 
too,  he  wants  to  belong  to  that  monastic  set, 
and,  moreover,  ho  is  a  kind  of  Mr.  Facing- 
Botii-Ways,  and,  finally,  he  is  as  slow  as  an 
armadillo.  Honestly,  I  don't  believe  you  can 
get  much  good  work  out  of  the  creature." 

"  I  have  claims  on  two  others,"  said  Josie. 
"  Edgar  Bradford  is  a  very  old  friend  of  mine, 
and  Mr.  Sykcs  Drummond  is  member  from 
my  district." 

Mrs.  "Warden's  great  black  eyes  snapped 
and  sparkled  with  jealousy.  Bradford  was 
one  of  the  chiefest  of  the  promising  young 
men  whom  she  intended  for  Belle;  and  Drum- 
mond she  had  settled  upon  as  one  who  might 
do,  in  case  all  his  betters  should  fail.  She 
■was  an  odd  woman,  was  Mrs.  Warden,  and 
Ler  jealous  vanity  was  one  of  her  queerest 
streaks. 

It  is  a  whimsical  but  serious  fact  that  she 
could  on  occasion  set  her  own  dowager  cap 
at  Bradford,  Drummond,  and  other  youth 
with  a  pertness  which  gave  them  both  en- 
tertainment and  uneasiness.  A  doting  par- 
ent, but  an  untamable  old  flirt,  she  would 
labor  in  cue  moment  to  make  a  market  for 
Belle,  and  in  the  next  to  cut  her  out. 

We  may  as  well  mention  here  that  Brad- 
ford had  a  profound  respect  and  an  almost 
tender  liking  for  the  daughter,  qualilied  by  a 
considerable  disesteem  for  the  unwise,  schem- 
ing, coquetting,  grinning  mother. 

"Dear  me,  don't  I  know  them  ?"  exclaim- 
ed Mrs.  Warden,  Avith  a  smirk  which  claim- 
ed intimacy  and  almost  ownership.  "  Drum- 
mond is  hero  very  frequently ;  and  as  for 
Edgar  Bradford — you  must  ask  Belle  about 
him." 

"I  have  nothing  in  the  world  to  tell  you 
about  him,  Mrs.  Murray,"  snapped  the  young 
lady  appealed  to  ;  "  that  is,  nothing  special. 
He  is  a  very  fine  man  —  at  least,  in  some 
things.  Colonel  Julian  Murray  has  a  high 
opinion  of  him,  and  says  ho  will  make  a  uo- 
blo  Congressman." 

"  How  you  do  quote  Colonel  Murray  for- 
ever and  forever!"  put  in  Mrs.  Warden, jeal- 
ous of  every  body  whom  her  child  admired. 


"You  have  such  a  passion  for  fussy, fastid- 
ious red-tapists!  I  wish  ho  Avould  help  us 
untie  our  red-tape;  thou  I  would  admire 
him." 

"You  admire  him  as  it  is,  mamma,"  said 
Belle;  and  truly  enough,  for  Mrs. Warden's 
cap  was  often  pointed  at  the  colonel  ;  "and 
I  do  believe  that  you  respect  him  more  than 
you  would  if  he  should  push  our  absurd 
claim." 

"Absurd !"  flamed  out  the  mother,  as  ready 
to  argue  for  her  appro])riation  with  a  womaa 
or  Avith  a  baby  as  with  a  Congressman,  so 
nearly  had  she  become  a  monomaniac  on  the 
subject. 

"  Oh,  well,  never  mind  about  that"  pur- 
sued the  girl,  in  a  tone  which  Avas  doubtless 
too  impatient  and  quelling  for  a  daughter. 
"  But  as  for  Mr.  Bradford,  it  certainly  is  ab- 
surd to  refer  Mrs.  Murray  to  mo  for  informa- 
tion about  him.  I  dare  say  she  knows  him 
far  better  than  I  do." 

"  Oh  no !"  protested  Josio. 

But  sho  could  hardly  help  smiling  as  slio 
uttered  this  denial.  She  remembered  how 
she  had  in  other  days  felt  the  yonng  man's 
arm  around  her  waist  and  his  mustache 
against  her  cheek.  She  knew  him  better 
than  sho  had  ever  known  any  male  being, 
except  her  late  husband,  "  poor  Augustus." 

"  But  Mr.  Bradford  will  be  no  help  to  you, 
I  am  afraid,  my  dear,"  insinuated  Mrs.  War- 
den, who  was  far  too  sly  herself  to  believe 
Josie's  "Oh  no,"  and  remained  jealous.  "He 
has  a  young  man's  fancy  for  being  a  nation- 
al-measure Congressman,  and  ho  frowns  on 
claimants  in  general,  though  he  is  civil  to 
us.  You  had  better  see  wliat  you  can  do 
with  Mr.  Hollowbread,  and  perhaps  keep  au 
eye  on  Sykes  Drummond.  There  is  Mr. 
Bowie,  too.  Southern  members  are  very 
useful  in  these  days.  They  are  mostly  car- 
pet-baggers, you  know,  and  want  their  share 
of  what  is  going.  It  is  dreadfully  shabby, 
of  course.  A  Congressman  ought  not  to 
take  anything  for  getting  a  claimant's  mon- 
ey, especially  a  lady's ;  but  they  do.  I  am 
sorry  to  say  it,  for  the  honor  of  my  country. 
That  is,  a  good  many  of  them  do,  and  one 
has  to  put  up  with  it.  There  is  precious 
little  of  pure  justito  and  honor  in  these 
days.  You  will  find  it  out  when  you  have 
toiled  and  moiled  inside  politics  as  I  Lave 
for  the  last  six  or  eight  sessions." 

"Six  or  eight  sessions!"  exclaimed  Josie. 
"If  it  takes  as  long  as  that — well,  I  sha'n't 
bo  as  young  as  I  am  now,  for  one  thing." 

"What  better  can  ono  do?  It  is  groat 
fun,"  answered  the  A-eteran  intriguer,  a  lob- 
byist who  had  learned  to  love  lobbying,  not- 
withstanding au  unprofitable  experience  of 
it. 

"  Ono  might  get  married,"  suggested  Josie. 

"  You  can  do  that  en  jtn^sani ;  it  might  be 
the  wisest  thing.  After  all,  there  is  no  man 
Avho  will  work  for  one  like  one's  own  bus- 


30 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


band.  What  witli  law  and  custom  and  pub- 
lic opiuiou  to  pusli  biui,  a  husband  does 
jjretty  "well,  and  he  sticks.  At  all  events,  be 
is  generally  better  by  far  than  any  one  else. 
After  studying  the  world  a  good  deal,  I  have 
come  to  the  conclusion  that  there  is  no  man 
so  useful  as  a  husband." 

"Why  don't  you  get  married  yourself?" 
smilingly  inquired  Josie. 

"  Because  I  should  poison  the  man,"  broke 
in  Belle.  "I  don't  agree  with  my  mother 
half  the  time,  but  I  won't  share  her  with 
any  body." 

Mrs.  Warden  leaned  forward  and  slapped 
her  daughter  on  the  shoulder  in  a  petting 
fashion. 

"  But  I  shall  get  my  claim  without  going 
up  the  aisle  for  it,  and  that  will  be  nicer," 
slie  laughed.  "  Oh,  you  needn't  shake  your 
head,  Belle  ;  I  know  that  I  shall  get  it.  I 
can  lix  the  exact  amount.  I  shall  get  just 
one  hundred  thousand  dollars." 

"I  hope  so,"  said  Josie;  "but  there  will 
be  nothiug  left  for  me." 

"  One  grant  is  an  argument  for  another," 
judged  Mrs.  Warden.  "  Besides,  wo  must 
join  hands  ;  we  must  work  together.  Meet 
us  at  the  President's  reception  to-morrow 
evening,  and  I  will  introduce  you  to  ever 
so  many  useful  people.  Tell  Colonel  Julian 
Murray  from  me  that  he  must  take  you 
there ;  and  get  the  rector  and  his  wife  to 
go.  The  more  respectably  you  are  escorted, 
the  better  you  will  start  in  your  business. 
Nice  people  in  Washington  are  just  good  for 
that,  to  help  aloug  people  who  can't  afford 
to  be  quite  so  nice." 

"And  so  you  will  chaperon  me  ?  A  thou- 
sand thanks !"  said  Josie,  gratefully,  as  she 
took  her  leave. 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

A  PATRIARCH  OF  THE  ARMY. 

DuP.ESfG  the  morning  of  Josio's  second  day 
in  Washington  she  received  a  call  from  that 
uncle  of  hers  whom  we  have  heard  mention- 
ed as  the  colonel. 

Julian  Murray,  the  oflly  surviving  broth- 
er of  the  Eevercnd  John  Murray,  was  a  full 
colonel  in  the  regular  army,  and  chief  of  an 
office  in  the  War  Department.  Ho  was  a 
fine-looking  veteran,  quite  tall  and  reniark- 
r.bly  straight,  with  a  long,  firm,  and  striding 
gait,  as  of  one  who  had  marched  much,  with 
an  air  of  unconsciousness  and  self-  posses- 
sion which  was  nothiug  less  than  patrician, 
and  yet  with  little  ways  of  putting  himself 
at  case  which  were  as  unceremonious  as  old 
8lij)pers. 

His  abundant  hair  was  nearly  white  ;  his 
face  was  long,  thin,  higli-featurcd,  and  dis- 
tinguished, if  not  handsome  ;  his  expression 
■was  calm,  sweet,  benevolent,  and  yet  singu- 


larly resolute.  There  was  a  little  absent- 
mindedness  in  his  demeanor,  and  there  was 
a  frequent  smile,  which  seemed  to  apologize 
for  it.  On  the  whole,  he  made  one  think  of 
a  venerable  and  entirely  sane  Don  Quixote. 
Sixty-five  years  of  age — that  is  to  say,  three 
years  older  than  the  rector — he  appeared  to 
be  the  younger  of  the  two,  and  was  clearly 
the  baler  and  stronger.  No  one  who  had 
to  deal  with  him  ever  doubted  that  he  was 
in  the  full  possession  of  all  his  intellectual 
faculties. 

"Uncle  Julian!"  exclaimed  Josie,  kissing 
him  immediately,  although  she  had  met  him 
but  once  before  in  her  life.  "I  remember 
you  distinctly  at  my  wedding.  You  said  to 
me,  '  Go  through  life  by  easy  marches,  my 
dear!'  I  have  never  forgotten  the  advice, 
though  I  haven't  been  able  to  follow  it." 

"Well,  I  am  sorry  for  that,  my  dear,"  an- 
swered the  colonel,  obviously  i>leased  at  be- 
ing recollected  so  well  and  embraced  so  cor- 
dially. "  I  wish  you  better  fortune  in  fu- 
ture than  you  have  had.  Let  me  see,  I  don't 
want  to  be  calling  you  Mrs.  Murray,  and  my 
memory  is  a  tattered  old  knapsack,  and  I  am 
always  losing  names  out  of  it — " 

"Josephine  I  was  christened.  It  Avill  be 
Josie  here." 

"  Josie !  It  is  a  pretty  name ;  it  suits  you 
well,"  declared  the  old  geutleman,  surveying 
her  handsome  face  with  unmistakable  appro- 
bation. "Well,  Josie,  you  must  pardon  my 
not  calling  to  see  you  yesterday.  I  was  kept 
frightfully  busy  at  my  office  till  late  in  the 
evening  by  a  demand  for  special  returns. 
Those  Congressional  fellows  can't  under- 
stand figures  imless  we  write  them  out  for 
them  as  j)lain  as  baker.  And  so  this  is  my 
first  chance  to  get  at  you." 

"  But  you  are  going  to  make  a  long  call 
now  ?"  said  Josie. 

"  I  shall  want  to,"  rcjilicd  the  colonel, 
seating  himself  with  unceremonious  ease  ia 
a  great  arm-chair,  and  stretching  out  his 
long,  thin  figure  in  a  disjointed  fashion.  "  I 
am  very  glad  that  you  have  come  to  join  us, 
Josie.  We  will  do  what  we  can  to  make 
things  pleasant  to  you.  Wo  will  march  you 
into  society  at  once.  John" — and  liere  ho 
turned  to  bis  brother — "  why  couldn't  you 
and  Huldah  go  to  the  Presidential  reception 
to-night  ?  Mrs.  Warden  has  dropped  me  a 
sort  of  order  to  go  myself  and  talvo  Josie. 
She  is  quite  right ;  .Josie  ought  to  see  it. 
But  how  can  an  old  bachelor  like  myself  es- 
cort a  young  lady  suitably  ?  I  don't  see  but 
wliat  you  two  will  have  to  get  on  your  uni- 
forms and  turn  out." 

"  Wliy,  certainly,"  broke  out  Mrs.  Murray, 
her  small,  wrinkled  gray  eyes  twinkling  at 
the  prospect  of  something  entertaining.  "  Of 
course  Josephine  ought  to  see  it.  Don't  you 
think  so,  Mr.  Murray?  And  somchxh/  must 
go  with  her — somebody  who  can  introduce 
her  to  people— some  lady." 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


31 


'•'Wo  will  risk  it,"  agreed  tho  rector, -who 
perceived  that  his  wife  meant  to  go,  and  that 
he  might  as  well  like  it.  "  "Wo  must  be  care- 
ful not  to  trample  on  people,"  ho  added,  with 
a  smile.  "  We  will  get  into  some  corner  and 
see  tho  crowd  go  by." 

"  Have  you  all  tho  things  you  want,  Jo- 
sephine ?"  asked  tho  old  lady,  a  lover  of  good 
stylo  iu  dressing,  uotwithstauding  her  fru- 
gality. 

"Every  thing,"  laughed  tho  young  wom- 
an, remembering  how  she  had  spent  her  last 
spare  dollar  at  Stewart's.  "  But  do  call  mo 
Josie." 

"  I  would,"  said  the  prim  dame  of  other 
days ;  "  but  I  am  old-fashioned,  ami  don't 
fancy  tho  new  uickuames.  You  must  let  it 
be  Josephine." 

"Any  tiling  you  like  best,"  smiled  Josie, 
and  Mrs.  Murray  patted  her  on  the  shoulder 
— or,  ratlier,  on  the  trimming  of  her  dress,  so 
fastidious  and  delicate  was  that  wrinkled, 
tremulous  old  hand,  even  iu  its  endearments. 

But  tho  Eeverend  Johu  Murray  was  still 
a  little  troubled  and  anxious  in  spirit.  Draw- 
ing his  brother  aside,  he  whispered, 

''  I  don't  know  about  taking  Huldali  into 
such  a  crowd  and  excitemeut.  Won't  it  be 
fearfully  crammed  ?" 

The  colonel  looked  vacant,  and  whistled 
softly :  he  knew  that  there  was  uo  sense  iu 
their  discussing  the  matter.  Tho  old  lady 
(af^  ho  often  called  his  sister-iu-law)  would 
settle  it  all  by  herself. 

"  Well,  I  think  we  had  better  risk  it," 
continued  the  rector,  after  some  further  use- 
less pondering.  "  It  will  be  very  eutertaiu- 
iug." 

Entertaining  to  his  old  wife  ho  meant. 
Ho  was  always  seeking  to  amuse  her,  often 
at  the  cost  of  much  trouble,  and  sometimes 
at  a  little  risk.  Apparently  he  feared  lest 
her  mind  should  drop  into  dotage,  unless  it 
were  kept  constantly  awake  by  gentle  fillips 
and  shocks.  He,  as  it  were,  compelled  her 
to  incessant  intellectual  movement,  as  meu 
who  have  taken  poison  are  made  to  walk  con- 
tinuously, lest  they  should  sink  into  mor- 
tal lethargy.  It  seemed  also  as  if  ilrs.  Mur- 
ray had  the  same  fear  concerning  herself,  so 
averse  was  she  to  tranquillity,  and  so  eager 
after  now  impressions.  She  caught  at  ev- 
ery hold  on  life;  she  let  nothing  pass  her 
without  putting  forth  her  frail  hands  to 
grip  it;  trifling  diversions,  tattle  —  every 
thing  was  made  use  of  as  a  stimulant. 

"  Well,  you  will  be  hero  to  go  with  us, 
Julian  !"  anxiously  concluded  tho  rector. 

"  Certainly,"  promised  tho  colonel.  And 
so  this  discussion  betwceu  the  two  brothers 
camo  to  an  end,  if  discussion  it  miglit  be 
called,  where  only  one  spoke,  and  he  know 
that  tho  matter  had  been  decided  before- 
hand. 

"  You  came  just  at  the  right  time,  and  I 
am  glad  of  it,"  said  the  colonel,  turning  to 


Josie.  He  liked  her  exceedingly  already, 
and  was  pleased  at  finding  amusement  for 
her.  As  wo  already  kiujw,  sho  was  very 
agreeable  on  a  first  acquaintance,  ami,  more- 
over, sho  had  been  making  hor  lovely  eyes 
do  their  best  to  cajole  him.  Tiioro  was  no- 
body, excepting  people  who  were  blind  and 
stone-deaf,  whom  sho  was  not  capable  of 
softening  with  Iier  oglings  and  her  cooings. 

"It  was  BO  lucky!"  answered  Josie,  who, 
by-the-way,  had  planned  to  be  here  just  at 
this  time.  "And  it  is  all  so  good  of  you! 
I  have  only  seen  you  for  a  minute,  and  hero 
I  am  under  obligations  to  you  !" 

The  colonel  laughed  in  an  easy,  softly 
deprecating  fashion,  as  if  to  saj'  that  sho 
was  making  too  much  of  it.  Josie  studied 
him  a  moment,  and  guessed  that  sho  must 
not  flatter  him  too  broadly  ;  he  had  an  air 
of  being  very  shrewd,  as  well  as  very  mod- 
est, and  he  might  not  like  compliments. 

"  You  must  be  my  beau  this  evening,  at 
least  some  of  the  time,"  she  ventured  to 
add. 

"  You  will  have  so  many  young  ones  that 
you  won't  want  me,"  he  laughed  again. 

She  thought  of  saying  something  about 
dear  Augustus's  relatives,  and  how  much  she 
preferred  their  company  to  all  the  world  be- 
sides ;  but  her  second  impression  was  that 
this  could  not  lie  made  to  sound  otherwise 
than  spoony,  and  so  she  omitted  it. 

"  Do  you  never  walk  with  young  ladies,  if 
they  want  to  have  you  f  she  iiersisted,  for 
she  had  really  taken  a  fancy  to  the  old  sol- 
dier, and  sho  was  eager  to  interest  him. 

"I  shall  be  very  glad  to  walk  with  my 
young  niece,  if  she  cares  for  it,"  he  declared 
with  a  simplicity  which  puzzled  Josie,  one 
of  those  young  women  who  can  understand 
almost  any  thing  moi'o  easily  than  frank- 
ness. Actually  she  could  not  decide  whetli- 
er  he  were  paying  her  some  sort  of  court- 
ship, or  petting  her  as  he  would  a  child. 

"  Certainly  I  shall  caro  for  it,  and  very 
much,"  sho  said,  trying  again  to  enchant 
him  with  her  smile  and  her  eyes. 

Is  it  to  be  supposed  that  this  pretty  thing 
of  two -and -twenty  contemplated  flirting 
with  her  husband's  gray  -  haired  uncle  ? 
Well,  she  was  perhaps  capable  of  it,  when 
there  was  no  younger  nmn  to  be  got  at ; 
and  capable  even  of  letting  her  mind  stray 
into  suppositions  of  something  more  than  a 
mere  flirtation.  Tho  colonel  was  a  bachelor, 
and  sho  had  heard  that  he  had  large  posses- 
sions, ami  she  took  it  for  granted  that  he  was 
socially  lofty  and  influential.  It  was  worth 
while,  for  various  likely  and  unlikely  rea- 
sons, to  be  on  tho  best  of  terms  with  him. 
Moreover,  smiles  and  soft  glances  came  nat- 
urally to  her,  and  were  so  habitual  that  she 
could  hardly  help  them. 

But  presently  there  commenced  a  conver- 
sation which  set  her  gently  on  ouo  side,  as 
if  sho  were  a  listener,  revealing  to  her  that 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


these  elderly  people  had  an  iutelleetual  life 
quite  outside  of  her  narrow  boundaries,  and 
uiakiug  her  fear  that  she  would  not  be  able 
to  command  their  respect  and  obedience. 

"  I  had  a  walk  with  Bradford  this  morn- 
iug,"  said  the  colonel,  turning  to  his  brother. 
"And  we  held  another  powwow  over  the  de- 
velox^ment  theory." 

Josie  pricked  up  her  ears;  not  that  she 
cared  for  the  development  theory,  or  so 
much  as  knew  what  it  was,  but  begause 
here  was  mention  of  one  of  her  old  beaus, 
who  might  perchance  be  a  beau  again. 

"  ilr.  Bradford,  the  Cougressman  ?"  she 
asked.  "  I  am  so  glad  you  know  him  !  He 
is  an  old,  old  friend  of  mine." 

"Is  he?  Well,  he  is  a  splendid  fellow," 
answered  the  colonel,  and  went  on  with  his 
remarks  to  the  rector.  "Bradford  agrees 
with  me  in  thinking  that  the  Church  Uni- 
versal won't  sulier  the  least  jot  of  harm 
from  the  doctrine  of  develoximent  or  evolu- 
tion." 

"  I  don't  want  to  hear  from  Congressman 
Bradford  about  the  future  of  the  Church 
Universal,"  broke  in  the  rector,  with  the 
natural  waspishness  of  a  clergyman  who 
sees  his  domain  taken  under  the  jirotection 
of  a  layman.  "If  he  has  any  message  to 
forward  to  me  concerning  finance  or  our  In- 
dian relations,  I  will  listen  to  it  respectfully. 
But  he  is  no  more  qualified  to  prophesy  in 
religious  matters  than  he  is  to  work  mira- 
cles." 

The  colonel  laughed  in  his  noiseless  way, 
not  with  any  air  of  derision,  but  placating- 

h'- 

"  Xow,  see  here,  John.  Look  at  this  ques- 
tion in  the  light  of  history.  Your  Church 
Universal  has  learned  a  great  deal  from  lay- 
men since  they  were  first  invented.  Once 
it  denounced  astronomy,  and  sent  Galileo  to 
the  guard-house.  But  at  last  it  had  to  ac- 
cept the  solar  systems,  and  since  then  it  has 
flourished  wonderfully  on  them.  See  what 
shining  discourses  your  modern  divines,  from 
Chauuing  down  to  the  Ecce  Calum  man, have 
made  out  of  astronomy !  The  Church  actual- 
ly did  not  know  what  a  great  and  beneficent 
Deity  it  worshiped  until  the  vastness  of  His 
creation  was  revealed  to  it  by  the  anathema- 
tized star-gazers.  Well,  it  accepted  astron- 
omy, and  it  has  grown  mightier  on  it.  Some 
day  it  will  accept  evolution,  and  grow  might- 
ier on  that." 

"Xever! — never!"  exclaimed  the  clergy- 
man, his  pulpy  and  pallid  face  beginning 
to  flush  with  agitation.  "  Evolution  is  not 
true,  and  the  Church  can  not  accept  it.  God's 
Church  can  not  grow  mightier  on  falsehood." 

"Don't,  ISIr.  Murr.ay!"  softly  inteijected 
his  wife.     "  You  mustn't  get  excited." 

She  was  eying  him  closely  and  anxiously. 
For  years  she  had  watched  over  his  health 
with  almost  as  much  solicitude  as  ho  had 
devoted  to  her.     It  would  be  hard  ta  find 


two  other  beings  who  cared  for  each  other 
more  tenderly  and  vigilantly  than  did  these 
two  elderly  invalids. 

"  I  don't  want  to  annoy  John,  you  know, 
Mrs.  Murray,"  said  the  colonel. 

"No;  of  course  you  don't,"  assented  the 
old  lady,  nervously.  "  Of  course,  Mr.  Mur- 
ray, Julian  doesn't  want  to  annoy  you.  And 
I  do  wish  you  wouldn't  get  excited." 

"  But  I  do  want  him  to  see  this  thing  from 
the  right  point  of  view,"  continued  the  col- 
onel. "  If  he  once  gets  hold  of  the  butt-end 
of  it,  instead  of  the  muzzle-end,  it  won't  hurt 
him !" 

"Certainly,"  nodded  Mrs.  Murray,  with 
quite  vague  ideas,  however,  as  to  which  was 
the  butt-end,  aud  which  the  muzzle.  "Do, 
Mr.  Murray,  try  to  discuss  it  patiently,  and 
not  agitate  yourself." 

"I  don't  want  to  djscuss  it  at  all,"  affirm- 
ed the  rector.  "  It  is  an  irritating  piece  of 
nonsense,  and  a  matter  of  no  imxiortance." 

"But  you  can't  help  discussing  it,"  urged 
Julian.  "It  is  in  the  forefront  of  the  battle 
of  modern  thought.  If  you  don't  seize  it, 
aud  turn  it  to  your  own  purposes,  it  will 
damage  you  badly." 

"  I  say  never! — I  say  never!"  asserted  the 
old-school  theologian.  "  The  Church  stands 
solidly  on  Eevelation,  and  needs  no  human 
science  to  support  it !" 

"  Suppose  the  Church  had  gone  on  deny- 
ing the  Copernican  system,  and  affirming 
that  the  earth  is  the  centre  of  the  universe, 
where  would  it  be  now  ?  Would  any  intel- 
ligent man  respect  its  teachings  ?" 

"  Oh,  I  agree  with  you  so  fiir.  I  concede 
astronomy,  of  course ;  there  was  a  mistake 
there.  Tlieologians  should  not  set  them- 
selves against  merely  physical  science.  But 
this  development  theory  is  an  encroachment 
on  moral  domain.  If  the  human  race  grew 
up  from  monads  and  monkeys,  then  I  can't 
tell  you  where  it's  moral  responsibility  com- 
menced, and  then  you'll  deny  that  there  is 
any  such  responsibility." 

"  No,  I  won't.  Look  here.  Can  you  tell 
me  in  what  week,  or  even  in  what  month, 
of  life  the  responsibility  of  the  individual 
commences  ?" 

The  rector  was  silent.  He  did  not  at  all 
like  to  be  catechised  by  his  brother.  Jnlian 
had  once  or  twice  taken  him  down  in  a 
memorandum- book,  and  had  very  shortly 
brought  him  into  a  condition  of  contradic- 
tion to  himself,  or  into  a  very  deplorable 
slate  of  fiat  heterodoxy. 

"  You  don't  believe  in  the  damnation  of 
unborn  infants  ?"  persisted  the  colonel. 

"Of  course  not.  The  Church  never  held 
such  nonsense." 

"And  how  about  infants  a  week  old?" 

"  I  don't  care  to  be  put  tlirongh  my  prim- 
er," said  Parson  ^Murray,  seeing  very  plainly 
where  he  was  being  driven  to. 

"But  there  is  a  time  in  the  life  of  the  in- 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


33 


tlividnal  ■wlieu  moral  responsibility  lias  com- 
menced?" 

"Of  course;  and  that  is  the  only  point 
\\-liicli  it  concerns  ns  to  know — tlio  only 
point  which  a  p^ood  Christian  will  caro  to 
investigate,"  ailirmed  the  tlicologian,  be- 
coming fluent  all  at  once,  as  ho  iierceived  a 
chance  to  instruct. 

"And  there  is  a  time  in  the  life  of  the 
individual  -when  this  responsibility  has  not 
commenced?'' 

"  I  admit  it,"  conceded  the  rector,  excited- 
ly. "  But  what  of  it  ?  It  is  a  matter  of  no 
practical  importance.  Wo  who  hear  the 
truth  and  understand  it  are  responsible  for 
our  use  of  it.     All  the  rest  is  of  no  account." 

"Very  well,"  pursued  the  colonel,  remorse- 
lessly pushiug  on  his  columns  of  logic. 
"Now,  if  the  time  when  this  moral  responsi- 
bility commences  is  a  point  of  no  conse- 
quence in  the  case  of  the  individual,  it  is  a 
jioiut  of  no  consequence  in  the  case  of  the 
race.  You  can  accept  evolution,  and  still 
hold  fast  to  your  doctrine  of  human  respon- 
sibility for  sin,  and  all  the  while  be  as  logic- 
al as  you  are  now.  In  fiict,  evolution  does 
not  add  to  yonr  diflQculties  at  all.  Nobody 
queries  when  monads  or  monkeys  become 
responsible ;  they  are  not  supposed  ever  to 
become  so ;  they  are  embryonic  men.  The 
great  trouble  is  to  say  when  the  infant — not 
the  monad  or  monkey  infant,  but  the  human 
cue — enters  into  responsibility." 

"  I  don't  know  any  thing  about  it,"  grum- 
bled the  reverend.  "  I  want  to  leave  all 
these  mysteries  in  the  hands  of  my  Creator. 
And  I  can  not  endure  to  see  finite  men  striv- 
ing to  take  them  out  of  his  sufficient  and 
merciful  grasp." 

"  The  scientists  do  not  attempt  to  take 
things  out  of  his  grasp.  They  only  seek  to 
understand  his  method  of  working." 

"They  have  always  been  the  foes  of  the 
clergy  and  the  scorners  of  doctrine,"  asserted 
the  rector,  getting  irritated  rapidly  under  the 
repetition  of  that  alarming  word,"  scientists." 

"  They  are  the  advanced  guai'd  and  the 
skirmishers  of  religion  in  the  warfare  of  dis- 
covering truth  and  glorifying  the  Creator. 
Nine-tenths  of  them  have  been  worthy  men, 
as  little  given  to  sin  and  atheism  as  the 
clergy.  The  Church  hierarchy  is  the  only 
army  I  ever  heard  of  that  poured  cannon 
and  musketry  into  its  own  skirmishers  and 
forlorn  hopes." 

The  rector  became  very  much  flushed,  and 
seemed  about  to  reply  in  high  dudgeon.  But 
his  wife  checked  him  ;  she  had  been  watch- 
ing him  nervously  all  throngli  this  discus- 
sion ;  and  now,  seeing  the  blood  fly  to  his 
tired  face,  she  put  up  her  shield  to  save  him. 

It  was  a  very  venerable  Pallas  withdi-aw- 
ing  a  very  feeble  Achilles  from  the  combat. 

"  Now,  Mr.  Murray,  don't !"  she  said.  "'  You 
will  get  yourself  excited,  and  have  a  rush  of 
blood  to  your  head." 


lie  glanced  aside  at  her,  and  saw  that  her 
wrinkled  old  hands  were  tremulous,  and  said 
to  liimself  that  he  must  bo  tranquil  for  her 
sake. 

"Oh,  dear!  this  is  a  worrying  sort  of 
world,"  lio  groaned.  "  I  trust  that  when 
wc  get  into  the  other  one,  we  shall  have  no 
mysteries  to  clear  up.  I  don't  want  to  bo 
troubled  with  lieterodoxies  and  queries  and 
doubts  ihnr,^'  ho  concluded,  in  a  pathetic 
tone,  which  almost  verged  on  a  sob. 

"Well,  let  ns  drop  our  discu.ssion,"  said 
the  colonel.  "I  am  sorry  if  I  seem  to  be  a 
foe,  rather  than  an  ally.  Yon  see,"  he  ex- 
plained to  Josie,  "I  have  just  got  to  read- 
ing, in  my  old  age.  I  have  had  precious  lit- 
tle time  for  it  during  the  greatest  jiart  of 
my  life.  And  while  I  was  in  active  service 
among  the  Indians  and  along  our  dull  front- 
iers, these  follows  in  the  rear  were  writing 
a  prodigious  qnantitj^  of  the  most  wouder- 
ful  books.  What  with  Max  Miiller  and 
Whitney,  and  Dalton  and  Lecky,  and  Spen- 
cer and  Darwin,  and  forty  more  amazing 
chaps,  I  am  nji  to  my  eyes  iu  new  ideas  all 
the  while." 

"And  who  wrote  about  development?" 
asked  Josie,  thinking  she  would  book  her- 
self on  a  subject  which  so  interested  the  col- 
onel. 

"  Why,  Darwin,  chiefly." 

"Oh  yes — Darwin.  I  have  heard  about 
him  ;  of  course  I  have.  Only  I  never  quite 
understood  what  he  wanted  to  prove." 

"You  will  never  quite  understand  it,"  de- 
clared the  unbeaten  rector.  "  None  of  us 
will  ever  quite  understand  it !" 

"Don't,  Mr.  Murray!"  expostulated  his 
wife,  fearful  of  seeing  the  blood  fly  to  his 
head. 

Then  they  once  more  talked  of  the  Pres- 
idential reception,  and  decided  that  they 
would  all  go  to  it  together. 


CHAPTER  IX. 

A  TRESIDEXTLVL  SQUEEZE. 

"  We  will  go  early  to  avoid  the  crowd,  and 
then  get  away  early,"  little  old  Mrs.  Murray 
said  any  number  of  times  during  the  day  to 
Josie. 

"  Certainly,"  the  young  lady  would  reply, 
with  perfect  readiness,  and  with  a  delight- 
ful smile.     "  It  will  be  much  the  best  way." 

"  Yon  see  wo  would  like  to  have  you  stay 
aslate  as  any  body,"  the  ancient  dame  would 
add.  "  But  neither  Sir.  Murray  nor  I  can 
stand  fatigue  as  we  could  once ;  and  so — " 

"  Why,  my  dear  aunt,  you  are  only  too 
good  to  go  with  mo  at  all,"  interrupted  Jo- 
sie. "The  instant  you  feel  tired,  give  me  a 
sign  and  we  will  leave.  Now,  promise  rae 
that,  or  I  shall  be  uneasy  all  the  evening." 

So  Mrs.  Murrav  imagined  that  the  enter- 


34 


PLAYING  THE  JnSCHIEF. 


prise  would  be  made  sliort  and  easy  for  her 
old  members,  and  for  the  rector's  determiua- 
tiou  of  blood  to  the  bead.  Little  did  she 
know  the  nature  and  forces  and  possible  or- 
bit of  the  indefatigable  young  comet  of  so- 
ciety upon  whose  train  she  was  trusting 
herself.  She  and  her  husband  were  des- 
tined not  to  return  home  that  night  until 
long  after  fatigue  had  begun  to  swell  their 
ankles  and  tie  knots  in  their  muscles. 

"Yes,  we  will  let  you  know  when  we  are 
fatigued,"  said  the  confiding  rector.  "  Of 
one  blessed  circumstance  I  feel  comfortably 
sure  this  year:  there  will  be  no  jam;  there 
can  not  be  one.  They  had  au  awful  crush 
last  year  in  the  White  House.  But  to-night 
the  reception  is  to  be  in  the  Treasury,  where 
the  tag-rag  and  bob-tail  will  find  plenty  of 
room.  We  shall  be  able  to  keep  together 
and  to  make  the  rounds  without  difficulty. 
See  here." 

And  he  actually  produced  a  plan  of  the 
lirst  floor  of  the  Treasury  building,  which 
he  had  got  the  colonel  to  draw  out  for  him 
with  all  the  accuracy  of  au  old  West  Point- 
er, a  lirecaution  justified  to  his  mind  by  the 
necessity  and  duty  of  taking  good  care  of 
Mrs.  Murray. 

"There  we  go  in,"  he  coutinned,  pointing 
with  his  great  pulpy  forefinger  to  guide  his 
Avife's  investigations.  "There  is  the  en- 
trance-hall. There  is  the  ladies'  cloak- 
room. There  is  the  gentlemen's  cloak-room. 
We  leave  you  there ;  go  here  to  get  rid  of 
our  overcoats  ;  then  go  to  this  other  door  to 
meet  you.  Then  we  move  on  together  to 
this  room  to  shake  hands  with  the  Presi- 
dent. Then  around  through  this  long  suite 
of  rooms  to  the  entrance-hall  again.  I  think 
one  tour,  taken  very  leisurely,  and  without 
tiring  ourselves,  will  answer  our  purpose." 

It  was  an  excellent  plan  of  campaign,  but, 
like  many  another,  it  worked  best  on  paper. 
When  the  Murrays  drove  up  to  the  Treasury, 
they  found  it  besieged  with  carriages,  while 
the  great  entrance-hall  swarmed  with  peo- 
ple, whose  numbers  were  rapidly  increasing. 

"It  is  going  to  be  splendid!"  exclaimed 
Josie.  "  Really  something  worth  coming 
to." 

"This  is  awful,"  murmured  Parson  Mur- 
ray, aghast.  "  Huldah,  I  thiuk  you  bad 
better  go  back  at  once." 

"No,  no!  I  can  bear  it  —  a  little  while," 
gasped  the  old  lady,  a  trifle  frightened,  but 
»\ager  to  see  somewhat  of  the  revelry,  after 
the  social  manner  of  women. 

So  the  two  men  scuffled  along  to  the  door 
of  the  feminine  dressing-room,  and  poked 
their  ladies,  with  much  difficulty,  through 
tiie  jammed  door  of  it,  considerably  mal- 
treating a  number  of  other  females  in  the 
conflict,  and  duly  apologizing  to  the  wrong 
people.  Next  they  fought  or  manoeuvred 
their  way  to  the  masculine  cloak-room,  gave 
up  their  great -coats  to   an   already   over- 


worked, bewildered,  and  breathless  servitor, 
and  then  commenced  a  fearful  struggle  to 
reach  the  exit-door  of  the  ladies'  room. 

Meantime,  old  Mrs.  Murray  was  pretty 
nearly  at  her  wit's  end,  with  the  crowd  and 
the  confusion.  That  dressing-room  was  a 
terribly  tight  fit  for  the  number  of  ladies 
within  it.  Before  our  couple  had  fairly  got 
rid  of  their  wrappings  and  received  checks 
for  them,  there  was  a  woman  to  every  square 
foot  of  the  floor,  and  each  one  seemed  to  be 
doing  her  solid  best  to  incommode,  crush, 
cast  down,  and  trample  to  death  every  other. 

"Dear  me!  I  never  knew  before  how 
hard  ladies  were,"  latighed  Josie,  as  she  push- 
ed herself  and  hauled  her  aunt  through  the 
press.  "  I  begin  to  believe  they  are  the  real 
bone  and  sinew  of  the  country." 

"  I  thiuk  I  can  stand  it  a  little  longer," 
gurgled  Mrs.  Murray,  from  beneath  the  hoops 
and  flounces  of  a  giant  dowager  who  was 
combating  in  front  of  her.  "I  wonder  how 
the  gentlemen  are  getting  along,"  she  added, 
laughing  rather  hysterically,  yet  with  good 
pluck  for  one  of  her  ripe  and,  indeed,  wilted 
condition. 

Fortunately  for  their  chances  of  advan- 
cing, there  was  no  possibility  of  retreat.  The 
general  tendency  of  this  phalanx  of  silks  and 
satins  was  toward  the  exit-door,  while  a  con- 
stantly thickening  mass  poured  in  through 
the  eutrauce-door,  rendering  flight  thither- 
ward a  chimera.  Furthermore,  Josie  had 
not  the  least  notion  of  giving  up ;  she  meant 
to  see  the  reception,  or  perish  in  the  attempt ; 
she  would  have  fought  her  way  to  it  over 
dead  bodies.  So  on  they  squeezed,  and  on 
they  were  shoved,  until  the  pressure  became 
terrific.  Could  the  rector  have  seen  his 
dear  old  wife  in  that  maddened  throng  of  a 
thousand  millineries,  he  would  have  lifted 
up  his  loving  voice  and  wailed  with  fright. 
He  never  imagined  that  she  could  be  in  such 
dire  exti'emity.  He  did  not  know,  and  no 
mau  could  suspect,  without  haviug  physical 
experience  of  the  fact,  how  savagely  a  thou- 
sand eager  and  frightened  women  can  inish 
and  kick  and  trample. 

He,  meanwhile,  clinging  desperately  to  the 
arm  of  his  elder  but  sturdier  brother,  was 
striving  and  suffering  in  the  great  hall  cut- 
side.  There  also  there  was  a  wrestle  as 
of  giants ;  for  every  man  Avho  had  Avife  or 
daughter  or  sweetheart  inside  of  the  dress- 
ing-room was  butting  toward  the  door  of  it; 
and  the  mightier  were  the  obstacles  in  his 
way,  the  more  anxiously  he  struggled  to  over- 
come them. 

Thus  it  happened  that  in  that  much- 
sought -for  portal  two  fierce  crushes  met, 
composed  in  large  part  of  people  who,  while 
jammed  face  to  face,  were  strangers  to  each 
other.  Smith  was  almost  in  the  arms  of  Mrs. 
Robinson,  but  her  ho  did  not  want,  and  she 
did  not  want  him  ;  and  meantime  Mrs.  Smith 
was  hidden  from  him  by  a  solid  silken  pha- 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


35 


lanx.  As  for  Robinson,  ho  was  rnltl)in<?  nosos 
■with  Mrs.  Jones,  whom  lio  did  not  know  by 
sight  iVom  tho  sponso  of  Mclchiscdok,  while 
a  giant  Brown  divided  him  from  tho  wife  of 
his  bosom,  tho  said  Brown  being  (inito  wihl 
and  dangerous  because  he  couhl  not  discern 
Mrs.  B. 

How  they  did  dig  each  other,  and  bend 
each  other's  ribs  inward,  and  lift  each  other 
off  tho  lloor,  by  dint  of  mere  simple  sfineez- 
ing! 

The  portly  and  flabby  and,  so  to  speak, 
doughy  rector  was  janmicd  and  kneaded  and 
moulded  prottj^  nearly  out  of  recognizable 
shape.  He  sought  to  bear  it  bravely;  ho 
smiled  at  his  brother, and  whispered,  "This 
is  like  fighting  with  beasts  at  Ephesns ;"  but 
presently  he  got  indignant,  and  gruml)led  at 
his  fellow-sutiercrs  as  "bulls  of  Bashan;" 
and  finally  ho  became  both  gravely  alarmed 
and  earnestly  wrathful. 

"Sir,  you  are  smashing  my  ribs!"  he  ex- 
claimed, in  the  face  of  a  raw-boned,  untrim- 
med,  unbroken  gentleman  from  the  mount- 
ains of  North  Carolina,  who  was  doing  his 
best  to  get  beyond  him  without  going  through 
him. 

At  almost  any  other  time  the  Southerner 
would  have  apologized  to  a  clergyman  whose 
physical  boundaries  he  had  invaded ;  but 
just  now  he  was  himself  in  great  trouble, 
both  of  mind  and  body,  and  consequently 
not  disposed  to  say  any  thing  nice  to  any 
body ;  was  indeed  much  inclined  to  be  ag- 
gressive, or,  at  least,  retaliatory.  So  he  cruel- 
ly replied :  "  Your  ribs  are  pooty  well  cover- 
ed, my  friend ;  they  oughter  stau'  it  better'u 
mine." 

"Sir,  I  consider  that  remark—"  puffed  the 
rector. 

But  he  was  graciously  prevented  from 
finishing  the  perhaiis  unhallowed  sentence. 
Just  then  a  fresh  squeeze  of  the  mob  took 
his  breath  away. 

"This  beats  me!"  continued  the  North 
Carolinian.  "  I  never  see  a  crowd  of  more'n 
a  hundred  men  befo'." 

And  that  was  the  last  word  he  spoke  in 
this  world,  so  far  as  Parson  Murray  ever 
knew. 

"Julian,  I  think  I  shall  drop  in  a  minute 
or  two,"  groaned  the  rector,  as  soon  as  he 
had  recovered  speech. 

"Hold  on  by  me,  John,"  answered  the 
bony  and  heroic  colonel.  "  Keep  your  hands 
up  and  your  elbows  over  your  ribs.  As  for 
dropping,  a  dead  man  couldn't  do  it.  We 
must  tussle  it  out.  The  ladies  are  having 
as  sharp  a  fight  as  we." 

"Are  they?"  g.asped  the  rector,  in  affec- 
tionate terror,  clutching  at  the  shoulders  of 
his  neighbors  as  if  ho  would  climb  on  them, 
and  peeping  as  Avell  as  ho  could  between 
bumping  heads  to  get  a  glimpse  of  his  frag- 
ile old  wife. 

But  he  could  only  see  a  door  full  of  female 


faces,  all  tossing  and  troubled,  as  if  they 
were  on  a  raft  iu  a  storm,  and  all  unknown 
to  him.  Then  ho  tried  to  shout,  "  Oh,  Hul- 
dah  !  Huldah !"  only  his  voice  failed  him,  and 
the  call  was  little  better  than  a  ga.sp. 

But  no  Huldah  resjionded.  The  vener- 
able lady  was  hidden  deep  under  skirts  ami 
flounces  which  did  not  belong  to  her;  and 
moreover  sho  was  so  occupied  in  mind  by 
her  buffetings,  that  had  an  ele])hant  trump- 
eted in  her  car  she  would  hardly  have  heard 
him. 

Well,  we  must  leave  the  two  gentlemen  to 
endure  and  strive  as  they  best  may,  and  at- 
tend to  tho  fortunes  of  the  two  Mrs.  Murrays. 
Some  small  headwaj'  they  were  making  from 
minute  to  minute  ;  or  rather  some  headway 
was  being  imposed  upon  them  by  others.  By 
dint  of  good  luck  and  severe  tussling,  ladies 
were  constantly  escaping  from  the  room  and 
going  off  with  their  natural  protectors  in  a 
slender  procession,  which  crept  down  one 
side  of  the  hall  toward  the  reception-saloon, 
thus  making  place  for  other  ladies  to  reach 
the  door-way. 

Both  Mrs.  Murray  and  Josie  were  still 
alive  and  able  to  look  the  way  they  wanted 
to  go,  and  even  to  scuffle  a  little.  But,  near- 
ing  the  portal,  the  conflict  became  tremen- 
dous. No  woman  could  or  w^ould  have  mer- 
cy ou  her  sister-woman ;  they  fought  and 
they  scolded  like  the  heroes  of  the  "  Iliad." 
Presently  a  tall  and  sallow  female,  who  com- 
bated in  the  rank  behind  our  pair,  losing  her 
vitality  because  of  a  severe  dig  in  the  cor- 
set, screamed  lamentably,  "  I  shall  faint  iu  a 
minnte !" 

"This  lady  is  swooning!"  cried  several  of 
her  fellow-martyrs.  "  Do  make  M'ay  for  her 
there  behind !" 

Then  a  cruel  voice — very  pitiless,  although 
nothing  more  masculine  than  a  contralto — 
made  this  inclement  response :  "  Hand  her 
over  to  me  if  she  has  a  fatal  syncope,  and  I'll 
hold  an  inquest  on  her." 

Josie  Murray,  full  of  the  strength  and  gay- 
ety  of  healthy  youth,  looked  around  with  a 
giggle  to  see  who  this  scoffer  might  bo.  To 
her  surprise,  she  beheld  a  Bloomer  :  not,  in- 
deed, the  ordinary  Bloomer,  a  limp,  diminu- 
tive, ill-favored  nondescript,  in  a  flannel  or 
calico  bathing-dress,  but  a  young  woman, 
who  really  looked  like  a  man,  so  nearly  did 
her  garniture  resenU)le  masculine  apparel. 
A  tall  and  strong  young  person,  dressed  in 
a  plaited  frock-coat,  plaited  cloth  vest,  and 
gathered  cloth  pantaloons,  w.as  the  figure 
which  Josie  stared  at  with  a  mixture  of 
wonder,  anuisement,  aversion,  and  contempt. 

"  Do  look  at  that  creature,  aunt !"  she  whis- 
pered, loudly — "do  look  at  her,  (/HicA;.'"  she 
urged,  as  if  there  were  danger  lest  the  crea- 
ture should  fall  to  bits  or  otherwise  vanish. 

But  Mrs.  Murray,  senior,  was  beyond  star- 
ing even  at  monsters;  her  very  curiosity 
was  for  the  time  stifled  by  jihysical  suffer- 


36 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


ing.  She  had  but  one  idea  in  her  ancient 
head,  and  that  idea  was  to  get  once  more 
alongside  of  her  husband,  never  to  leave  htm 
again  in  this  world. 

"I  think  I  can  stand  it,"  she  answered, 
dimly  aware  that  Josie  had  spoken  to  her, 
but  not  capable  of  grasping  wjiat  had  been 
said.  ' 

Then  a  dark,  black-eyed,  vigorous  lady, 
who  had  toiled  slowly  up  to  tjieir  shoulders, 
put  her  head  between  them,  and  laughed: 
"  That  is  the  woman's  rights  woman,  Sc|uire 
Nancy  Apj^leyard." 

" Oh, Mrs.Warden!"esclainaed  Josie.  "And 
Belle,  too !  Now  we  will  conquer.  We  must 
go  in  E  plurihus  iinum,  as  tlie  American  eagle 
says.     Do  get  behind  us  and  push  us." 

"  Is  it  possible  that  you  have  your  aunt 
here  ?"  said  Mrs.  Warden.  "  Dear  me  !  how 
can  she  stand  this  rampage !  How  brave 
you  are,  Mrs.  Murray  !"  she  added,  recollect- 
ing the  wisdom  of  saying  pleasant  things. 
"  You  set  us  all  an  example." 

"  I  am  getting  on — I  am  getting  on,"  mur- 
mured the  old  lady,  without  looking  up.  "  Is 
my  cap  on  my  head  ?" 

"  It  is  all  over  it,"  laughed  Josie.  "  But  we 
will  set  that  to  rights  in  another  room." 

"  We  must  try  to  get  her  through  at  once," 
counseled  Mrs.  Warden.  "  Suppose  we  make 
one  tremendous  push,  and  go  through  the 
door  flying.  The  men  won't  be  so  hard  on 
us  as  our  own  womankind  are !" 

So  Mrs.  Rector  Murray  was  heartened  up 
to  the  charge,  and  it  was  executed  without 
regard  to  life  or  raiment.  It  was  in  part 
successful ;  the  old  lady  was  shot  out  of  the 
waiting-room  into  the  solid  core  of  the  male 
phalanx ;  there  she  was  caught  by  her  hus- 
band and  brother-in-law,  and  laboriously 
dragged  away,  as  if  she  were  a  body  of  Pa- 
troclus.  But  Josie  and  the  Wardens  could 
not  follow  her,  for  just  then  there  was  a  vio- 
lent refluence  in  the  human  tide ;  and  they 
were  borne  back  upon  the  line  of  ladies  in 
the  door- way,  and,  as  it  were,  stranded  there. 

"  You  won't  see  them  again  for  an  hour," 
said  Mrs.  W.  "  You  will  have  to  stick  to 
us." 

"  That  will  be  much  pleasanter,"  answer- 
ed Josie,  who  had  perhaps  assisted  the  con- 
vulsion which  had  divided  her  from  the  Mur- 
rays.  "  They  will  want  to  sit  in  a  coi-uer  and 
rest,  while  I  want  to  go  about  and  see  the 
sights.  Besides,  you  are  to  find  me  a  beau, 
you  kuow.  You  can  spare  one  out  of  your 
live  or  six  dozen." 

"  There  is  one  engaged  for  you,  only  you 
must  share  him  with  us.  We  are  with  Con- 
gressman Bradford." 

''Ah,  how  good  of  you  !"  said  Josie,  think- 
ing meanwhile  how  mean  it  was.  SIio  had 
hoped  to  ])ick  up  Edg.ar  Bradford  in  the 
crowd,  and  keep  him  to  licrsclf  all  the  even- 
ing. And  hero  Mrs.  Warden  had,  so  to  speak, 
squatted  on  him,  and  pre-empted  him. 


Meanwhile  the  shoving  and  elbowing  went 
on,  and  were  very  occupying  to  them  all.  But 
at  last,  to  make  a  long  story  short,  they  got 
clear  of  that  stormy  door-way,  and  were  con- 
voyed away  by  Congressman  Bradford.  Tliere 
was  nothing  remarkable  in  Josie's  greeting 
to  this  young  gentleman — nothing  to  show 
that  they  had  once  been  a  good  deal  in  love 
with  each  other.  She  barely  touched  her 
gloves  to  his,  gazed  wistfully  into  his  eyes 
for  just  a  single  instant,  to  see  if  he  still 
cared  for  her  a  little  bit,  and  said,  in  a  rapid, 
light  way,  "  So  glad  to  meet  you  again !" 

To  make  a  dead  set  at  Belle's  escort  would 
not  do  at  all ;  not,  indeed,  that  there  could 
bo  any  thing  immoral  or  unfair  in  such  an 
enterprise ;  but  it  would  infuriate  Belle's 
mamma,  and  that  would  be  iuconvenient. 

"  I  am  delighted  to  see  you  in  Washing- 
ton," answered  Bradford ;  and  asked  where 
she  was  visiting,  and  promised  to  call. 

Then  he  gave  his  arm  to  Mrs.  Warden, 
and  they  all  pushed  on  in  search  of  a  rest- 
ing-place, there  to  shake  out  their  rufiied 
plumage. 

"  We  are  flattened  all  out  of  shape,"  whis- 
pered Belle,  looking  in  dismay  at  the  irregu- 
lar outlines  of  her  crinoline. 

"  We  are  as  slinky  as  ghosts,"  laughed  Jo- 
sie ;  "  only  we  know  by  our  feelings  that  wo 
are  flesh  and  blood.  I  think  I  must  be  black 
and  blue  all  over." 

"  I  am  xirepared,  I  believe,  to  enter  the 
presence,"  said  Mrs.  Warden,  after  a  few  of 
those  swift  shakes  and  artistic  slaps  where- 
by a  woman  sets  her  costume  to  rights  in  a 
crowd. 

"  One  minute,"  begged  Josie.  "  Belle  and 
I  need  an  escort ;  and  here  comes  one,  and 
we  will  divide  him." 

Then  catching,  with  a  flirt  of  her  f;in,  the 
eye  of  Mr.Hollowbread,  who  at  that  moment 
was  plunging  after  them  through  the  crowd, 
appearing  and  disajipearing  like  a  porpoise 
among  surges,  she  beckoned  him  to  hasten. 


CHAPTER  X. 

MR.  IIOLLOWBREAD  AGAIX. 

During  the  last  forty-eight  hours  Mr.  Hol- 
lowbread  had  forgiven  his  lovelj'^  traveling 
companion  for  laughing  at  his  duckings,  and 
had  come  to  long  to  see  her  once  more. 

lie  had  discovered  her  some  minutes  be- 
fore her  eyes  fell  upon  him,  and  had  made 
himself  very  disagreeable  to  a  number  of 
persons  in  liis  efforts  to  reach  her. 

Her  beckoning  gesture  redoubled  his  en- 
ergy; ho  separated  wives  from  husbands, 
parents  from  childi-en,  and  button-holing 
constituents  from  members ;  he  burst 
through  tons  and  tons  of  crowding  human- 
ity, and  placed  himself  by  her  side. 

"  I  am  so   delighted !"  exclaimed  Josie, 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


37 


Ayith  a  trill  and  a  quiver,  as  if  -n-ords  alone 
could  not  express  all  ber  joy.  '*  What  a 
piece  of  good  luck  to  meet  you,  and  just 
Avlicn  I  needed  some  one  terribly!"  she  add- 
ed, letting  ber  limpid  eyes  dwell  steadily 
upon  bis,  as  if  they  -were  fascinated  by  bis 
watery  gaze.  "  You  know  all  my  friends 
here  ?  Isn't  tbat  nice !  And  now  can  you 
introduce  mo  to  the  President  ?" 

"  I  shall  be  proud  to  do  so,"  declared  Mr. 
Hollowbread,  staring  at  ber  with  admira- 
tion. He  had  been  smitten  with  her  in  ber 
traveling-dress,  but  iu  ber  evening-costume 
she  was  far  more  splendid.  The  stuff,  the 
colors,  and  the  miuutia;  he  was  man  enough 
not  to  notice,  but  he  was  also  sufficiently 
masculine  to  appreciate  a  brilliant  general 
effect,  especially  when  it  included  line  arms 
and  shoulders. 

"I  was  afraid  you  would  never  care  to 
meet  me  again  after  our  awful  night  adven- 
ture," continued  Josie. 

"  Because  I  came  out  of  it  iu  sucb  a  ridic- 
ulous plight?"  he  answered,  remembering 
how  she  had  laughed  at  him,  but  no  longer 
iu  anger.  "  I  don't  wonder  you  were  amused 
at  tljo  figure  I  cut." 

"  I  was  not  amused  at  it,"  asserted  Josie. 
"  Did  you  see  me  laugh  after  I  got  into  the 
porch  ?  It  was  at  the  astonishment  in  my 
good  relatives'  faces." 

The  fib  -was  conceived  with  as  much 
promptness  as  it  was  uttered.  And  it  was 
a  useless  fib ;  a  truthful  explanation  of  her 
giggle  as  the  result  of  nervous  excitement 
Avould  have  answered  just  as  well ;  but  this 
agreeable  young  woman  told  white  lies  by 
iustinct — told  them  more  easily  than  not. 

"But  you  were  amused  with  my  claim," 
she  added,  in  a  whisper,  lifting  her  ripe 
j'oung  mouth  as  near  to  his  stand-up  collar 
as  she  could  get  it. 

"  Never!"  affirmed  Mr.  Hollowbread,  with 
double-bass  solemnity,  bending  toward  her 
the  while  in  unpremeditated  tenderness,  so 
strongly  was  be  attracted  by  her  gaze,  her 
manner,  ber  beauty,  her  fragrance. 

"  Will  you  x>romise  to  look  into  it  serious- 
ly some  day  ?" 

"  I  will."  And  he  was  qiiite  grave  about 
it  by  this  time,  as  well  be  might  be,  consid- 
ering its  nature. 

"  I  am  very  grateful.  If  you  do,  I  shall 
hope.  Well,  now  introduce  us  to  the  great 
soldier  of  the  age." 

She  bad  nearly  said  "  the  great  man  of  the 
age ;"  but  it  occurred  to  her  that  Mr.  Hollow- 
bread might  feel  himself  disparaged  aud  be- 
littled thereby ;  she  was  clever  enough  to 
remember  tbat,  aud  to  use  the  word  "sol- 
dier." 

"Colonel  Bradford,  will  you  lead  the  col- 
umn ?"  said  Hollowbread,  with  a  ponderous 
jocularity  for  which  we  must  pardon  him, 
considering  that  a  Congressman  is  not  un- 
-  der  obligations  to  run  over  with  wit,  and 


has  a  good  many  temptations  to  be  dull. 
'■  We  veterans  will  support  you." 

"  Close  up,  then,"  returned  Bradford,  who 
had  served  his  three  years  in  tlie  field,  aud 
at  times  used  a  military  i>brase  uncon- 
sciojisly. 

They  still  bad  a  warfare  to  wage  before 
they  could  attain  to  the  exalted  host  of  the 
evening.  From  the  site  of  that  colossus 
they  were  separated  by  a  door-way  guarded 
by  two  six-foot  dragons  of  the  Washington 
iwlico  force,  each  setting  bis  shoulder  firm 
against  his  o^-n  door-post,  and  griping  his 
comrade's  hands  across  the  passage.  Out- 
side clung,  bung,  swarmed,  and  pushed  a 
huge  cluster  of  visitors,  as  closely  packed 
as  swarming  bees  around  the  mouth  of  a 
hive,  and  wearing  the  clothes  off  each  oth- 
er's backs  in  their  struggle  for  entrance. 
Inside  stood  an  usher,  who  Avatcbed  tbo 
bard-laboriug  Grand  Lama,  noted  vigilant- 
ly the  progress  which  be  made  iu  getting 
rid  of  bis  worshipers,  and  from  time  to  time 
waved  the  policemen  a  signal.  Then  np 
went  the  official  arms  ;  a  dozen  or  so  of  the 
outsiders  plunged  through,  ducking,  and 
stumbling,  and  treading  on  each  other; 
then  down  came  tbo  official  barrier  again, 
amidst  much  fighting  and  scolding. 

Our  three  ladies  bore  this  new  trial  with 
that  patience  and  tbat  courage  which  wom- 
an, as  we  have  all  heard  a  thousand  times, 
displays  iu  the  great  emergencies  of  life, 
meaning  parties,  receptions,  picnics,  and  the 
like.  Tbo  men  were  helpful,  also,  iu  the 
brutish  fashion  of  their  gender,  worthy  of 
scoru  and  gratitude.  Mr.  Bradford  pulled 
with  all  bis  muscle,  and  Mr.  Hollowbread 
pushed  with  all  his  avoirdupois. 

At  last  our  adventurers  were  face  to  face 
with  the  brief,  sturdy,  simple-mannered, 
mucb-enduring  man  who  wore  out  the  most 
formidable  of  all  insurrections,  and  "who 
saved  his  country.  We  will  not  report  Mrs. 
Warden's  speech  :  she  no  doubt  said  the  cor- 
rect thing,  for  the  Executive  smiled  upon 
her ;  moreover,  she  nuist  have  been  unan- 
swerable, for  he  made  no  response.  Brad- 
ford, who  still  remembered  his  soldierly 
training,  and  who  held  in  profound  respect 
bis  ancient  commander,  passed  by  him  with 
an  official  bow,  not  even  taking  bis  tired 
hand. 

Now  came  the  turn  of  the  elder  Congress- 
man, and  of  bis  two  handsome  young  ladies. 
Josie  Murray  was  tremulously  alive  to  the 
greatness  of  the  occasion,  violently  interest- 
ed in  the  tranquil  hero  whom  she  saw  so 
near  ber,  and,  to  ber  credit  be  it  said,  not  a 
little  awed  by  him.  For  half  a  minute  she 
had  been  staring  at  him  with  two  dilated, 
sparkling,  black  eyes,  which  fairly  seemed 
to  eat  him  up,  so  hungry  was  their  wonder. 
There  was  a  pathetic  air  of  uncomplaining 
endurance  in  his  otherwise  expressionless 
face,  which  she  was  clever  enough  to  note 


38 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


at  the  first  glaiics,  and  wliicli  moved  her 
deepest  sympatliy.  It  seemed  to  say  that 
he  hated  these  ceremonies  of  triumph,  and 
that  he  had  found  the  labors  "which  won 
them  more  supportable.  Moreover,  the 
square-built  man  looked  physically  weary 
already,  aud  almost  painfully  anxious  to 
have  his  ovation  end.  No  wonder,  for  he 
had  already  shaken  a  thousand  hands,  and 
there  were  thousands  more  itching  to  grap- 
ple him.  The  laurels  had  been  very  well, 
hut  the  palms,  or,  rather,  the  fists,  were  too 
much. 

"  Mr.  President,  I  hope  I  see  you  well  this 
evening,"  said  Mr.  Hollowbread,  with  rather 
more  grandeur  of  intonation  than  became 
the  commonplace  words,  being  indeed  a 
very  loose  fit  for  them. 

The  President  may  have  felt  moved  to  an- 
swer, in  the  blunt  language  of  pretty  Molly 
Hopkins,  "  None  the  better  for  seeing  you." 
But  he  did  not ;  he  merely  moved  his  lips 
mechanically,  and  smiled  almost  impercep- 
tibly ;  he  knew  the  Congressman  perfectly, 
but  he  had  nothing  just  then  to  say  to  him. 

"Allow  me  to  present  to  you  my  two 
charming  friends,  Mrs.  Murray  aud  Miss  War- 
den," continued  Hollowbread,  waving  his 
Iiaud  superbly  toward  the  ladies,  and  punch- 
ing the  head  of  another  lady  behind  him 
with  his  elbow. 

BelleWardeu,  pitying  the  jaded  great  man, 
bowed  profoundly  in  silence,  and  slid  on  to 
her  mother.  But  Josephine  Murray,  though 
her  temples  were  fairly  throbbing  with  awe, 
was  resolved  to  speak  to  the  hero,  aud  get 
one  precious  word  of  response. 

"  Is  not  this  almost  as  bad  as  a  victory  ?" 
she  asked,  while  all  the  blood  in  her  heart 
rushed  to  her  cheeks,  aud  made  her  daz- 
zling. 

"  It  is,  madame ;  they  are  both  great 
trials,"  answered  the  modest,  war- Avorn  man, 
hreakiug  out  into  a  hearty  smile,  so  ])leased 
was  he  at  being  understood.  But  that  was 
all ;  he  had  nothing  more  to  say  to  her ; 
indeed,  there  was  no  chance  to  say  more. 
Fifty  fresh  fellow  -  citizens  aud  citizenesses 
liad  forced  their  way  through  the  police  bar- 
rier, and  were  upon  him  like  tlie  Philistines 
upon  Samson.  Josephine  still  hungered  for 
executive  conversation,  but,  much  delighted 
with  the  memorable  word  she  had  got,  was 
crowded  and  hustled  into  making  her  courte- 
sy of  departure. 

"  He  is  perfectly  delightful !"  she  exclaim- 
ed to  her  Congressman,  speaking  so  loud  that 
the  Pater  Patriae  must  liave  heard  her,  and, 
indeed,  fully  meauing  that  ho  should  hear 
her. 

"I  am  glad  you  find  him  so,"  grumbled 
Hollowbread,  who  had  often  criticised  his 
chief  magistrate  for  not  being  sociable.  "  No 
doubt  every  body  docs  his  best  to  be  charm- 
ing to  Mrs.  Murray,"  lie  added,  with  one  of 
those   bows  whereby  an  old  beau  usually 


italicizes  his  compliments.  "The  misfortune 
is  that  all  of  us  can't  please  her." 

"All  of  you  would  just  please  me,"  laughed 
Josie,  speaking  the  exact  truth  concerning 
herself,  though  she  uttered  it  jestingly. 

"  That  is  what  I  had  suspected,"  he  replied, 
not  without  a  pang  at  his  heart ;  no  great 
matter  of  a  pang,  to  be  sure;  a  mere  twinge, 
but  prophetic. 

"  Then  you  have  doue  me  great  wrong," 
declared  Josie,  looking  up  to  his  many-vein- 
ed. Port- wine  face  with  such  innocent,  be- 
seeching eyes  as  would  have  deluded  a  much 
younger  Lothario. 

And  Mr.  Hollowbread,  old  and  experienced, 
and  knowing  and  wicked  as  he  might  be, 
was  very  considerably  deluded.  "  Really 
likes  me — tickled  with  a  Congressman — wo 
shall  hear  about  the  claim  soon,"  he  chuckled 
in  his  heart,  with  an  odd  mixture  of  credu- 
lity and  shrewduess.  For  he  had  learned 
by  dint  of  many  adventures  that  women,  at 
^cast  such  women  as  he  usually  stumbled 
upon  in  Washington,  were  not  inclined  to 
give  themselves  away,  but  rather  to  sell. 
"  We  must  live  aud  let  live,"  he  used  to  say ; 
"we  must  pay  for  our  luxuries,  or  do  with- 
out." 

By  this  time  they  were  alone  in  that  huge, 
jostling,  humming  assemblage.  BelleWar- 
deu, looking  upon  Mr.  Hollowbread  as  Josie's 
special  captive,  had  promi^tly  and  joyfully 
left  him  to  her,  taking  the  unoccupied  arm 
of  Bradford.  Moreover,  our  adroit  little  he- 
roine did  really  propose  to  say  a  word  con- 
cerning her  claim,  aud  had,  therefore,  inten- 
tionally allowed  the  Warden  party  to  drifi 
far  ahead  of  her. 

"  You  called  me  Miss  Murray  the  other  day, 
and  now  you  call  me  Mrs.  Murray,"  she  said. 
"Have  you  learned  that  I  have  been  married 
in  the  mean  time  ?" 

"  I  have  instituted  investigations,"  confess- 
ed the  legislator,  with  the  smile  of  a  man 
who  knows  that  he  pays  a  compliment.  "  I 
have  gathered  some  particulars  of  your  his- 
tory." 

Josie  was  encouraged ;  it  looked  like  fas- 
cination. Gentlemen,  and  especially  elderly 
gentlemen  of  much  business,  do  not  usual- 
ly worry  themselves  with  inquiries  about  a 
lady,  unless  they  are  considerably  interested 
iu  her. 

"  You  had  better  catechise  we  on  that  sub- 
ject hereafter,"  she  murmured,  weighing  a 
little,  just  a  very  delicate  little,  upon  the 
Hollowbread  arm.  "But  now  let  us  talk 
business.  Will  you  really  look  into  my 
claim  some  day,  and  see  if  it  amounts  to  any 
thing  f 

"I  assure  you  tliat  I  will  give  my  most 
serious  attention  to  it,  at  any  time  and  iu 
any  place  which  you  will  designate." 

"I  have  heard  that  there  are  committee- 
rooms  somewhere.  Do  ladies  ever  come  to 
them  r 


PLAYIXG  THE  MISCHIEF. 


39 


"Ob,  tlic  liigbcst  latlios  in  the  land,"  as- 
severated Mr.  Hollowbread,  without  even 
wiping  his  mouth  after  the  chimsy  and  slob- 
bering falsehood.  His  manner,  however,  was 
80  buniid  with  humbug,  that  Josie  instaut- 
ly  suspected  him  of  lying. 

"  Perhaps  you  had  better  call  on  mc  at  my 
uncle's,  if  you  would  bo  so  kind,"  she  said. 
"Since  I  h.avo  been  introduced  to  you  by 
Mrs.  AVarden,  I  can  present  you  as  an  ac- 
quaintance," she  added,  not  iu  the  least  for- 
getting that  there  had  been  no  such  intro- 
duction. But  it  is  necessary  sometimes  to 
suggest  to  a  man  what  ho  ought  to  say  in 
case  he  should  be  asked  au  awkward  ques- 
tion. 

'•  I  shall  be  happy  to  call  to-morrow  morn- 
ing, at  twelve  o'clock  precisely,  if  convenient 
to  you.  You  have  some  documents,  some  few 
little  papers,  I  suppose  ?" 

"  Oh  yes,  and  good  ones.  Mr.  Frederic 
Curbstone,  a  New  York  banker,  a  friend  of 
my  husband,  made  them  out  for  me.  He 
heard  of  this  claim  somehow,  and  he  said  I 
ought  to  have  the  money." 

Now,  Mr.  Curbstone,  as  our  Congressman 
knew,  was  a  sort  of  elegant  sharper.  He 
was  a  broker  in  New  York,  and  a  lobbyist  in 
Washington.  He  bribed  Treasury  clerks  to 
give  him  guesses  as  to  what  the  Secretary 
was  going  to  do  Avith  the  "elastic  end"  of 
the  currency ;  then  he  sold  these  guesses  as 
solid  facts  to  bankers,  who  valued  themselves 
on  being  too  much  for  their  fellow-men  ;  and 
sometimes,  when  his  "points"  turned  out 
well,  he  got,  in  addition,  a  percentage  on 
profits. 

Mr.  Hollowbread  had  not  the  highest  con- 
fidence in  claim-certificates  which  had  been 
furnished  by  Mr.  Frederic  Curbstone.  But 
he  was  too  judicious  to  say  any  thing  more 
or  less  than  that  he  had  no  doubt  all  would 
be  satisfactory.  To  keep  this  claim  in  his 
own  hands,  and  thus  to  see  as  much  as  pos- 
sible of  the  lovely  claimant,  was  a  purpose 
on  which  he  had  already  set  his  heart.  Of 
course,  if  it  was  a  swindle,  he  would  not  real- 
ly push  it ;  at  least,  so  the  respectable  gen- 
tleman assured  himself  at  present.  But, 
meantime,  he  would  have  many  agreeable 
interviews  with  Mrs.  Murray,  and  perhaps 
be  useful  to  her  in  some  other  way. 

"I  nmst  beg  one  thing  of  you,"  he  urged, 
iu  a  tone  of  afi;octionato  counsel.  "  Do  me 
the  favor,  and,  perhaps  I  may  say,  do  your- 
self the  serA-ice,  not  to  mention  this  affair 
to  any  other  Congressman,  at  least  not  till  I 
have  looked  into  it.  The  less  it  is  bruited, 
that  is,  while  we  are  getting  it  into  shape, 
you  know,  the  more  likely  it  is  to  win.  There 
is  an  awful  amount  of  greediness  and  selfish- 
ness in  this  political  Avitch- caldron.  The 
number  of  claimants  is  simply — immense! 
The  Treasuiy  of  this  gigantically  prosper- 
ous country  has  not  money  enough  to  satis- 
fy one-tenth  of  them.     If  your  business  were 


known,  you  would  bo  the  mark  of  jealousy — 
a  shining  mark !"'  he  added,  gorgeously.  "  Ri- 
val claimants,  miserable,  envious  eluulatan», 
you  understand,  would  work  against  your  no 
doubt  just  suit,  merely  to  favor  themselves. 
The  jackals  of  the  lol)by  would  sneak  in  to 
demand  a  share.  Oh,  it  is  horrible!"  and 
Mr.  Hollowbread  made  a  wry  face  over  the 
corruption  he  was  exposing.  "  Believe  me, 
my  dear  Mrs.  Murray,  that  your  best  hope  of 
success  lies  in  absolute  silence  and  discre- 
tion; that  is,  until  you  are  fully  prepared 
to  go  before  the  House." 

"Of  course,"  nodded  Josie,  thoughtfully. 
With  all  her  coqiaetting  and  other  levities,| 
she  was  entirely  in  earnest  about  this  claim, 
and  solemnly  greedy  for  the  public  money.  ^ 
"  I  promise  you  that  no  one  but  yourself 
shall  know  a  word  of  it,"  she  added,  with 
such  a  look  of  earnestness  and  veracity  that 
Mr.  Hollowbread  believed  her,  as,  indeed,  she 
believed  herself  for  the  moment. 

She  was  charming  to  look  at  just  then ; 
much  more  charming  even  than  usual.  She 
indulged  a  blessed  hope  that  she  would  soou 
be  rich  enouglf  to  dress  better  than  most 
women,  and,  perhaps,  to  keep  a  carriage. 
She  was  thoroughly  grateful  to  this  old 
political  trimmer,  who  had  jiledged  himself 
to  support  her  cause,  and  whose  assistance 
she  believed  to  be  synonymous  with  victo- 
ry, such  Avas  her  faith  in  a  Congressman  and 
so  little  did  she  know  of  politics.  Sho  was 
in  a  condition  to  aftirm  that  she  should  thank 
him,  and  that  she  might  come  to  like  him 
very  much,  or,  possibly,  to  love  him.  All 
these  gems  of  emotion  sparkled  in  her  ex- 
pression, and  gave  her  au  air  of  being  as 
good  as  she  certainly  was  prettj'. 

Yet  in  another  minute  she  had  forgotten 
her  gratitude,  and  wanted  to  get  away  from 
Mr.  Hollowbread.  She  saw  the  Wardens 
snug  in  a  corner,  blockaded  there  by  a 
splendidly  gold-laced  and  copper-nosed  old 
commodore,  while  Mr.  Edgar  Bradford  was 
sailing  about  alone  at  his  own  sweet  Avill. 

In  a  very  short  time  she  had  towed  her 
venerable  beau  alongside  the  young  man,  al- 
though Hollowbread  did  not  at  all  want  to 
cruise  in  that  direction. 

"Have  you  seen  my  uncle  and  aunt,  Mr. 
Bradford?"  she  asked,  with  an  afiectionately 
eager  look,  as  though  anxious  to  find  the  old 
people. 

"I  saw  them  a  minute  ago  drifting  into 
the  next  room.  They  were  peeping  and 
peering  in  all  directions,  as  if  their  only  ob- 
ject iu  life  was  to  find  their  niece." 

"I  really  ought  to  get  back  to  them," 
sighed  Josie.  Here  she  gave  her  old  friend 
an  appealing  glance,  and  at  the  same  time 
made  a  piteous  little  wry  mouth  indicative 
of  the  fact  that  the  good  and  great  Hollow- 
bread was  insupportable.  Of  course,  the 
young  gentleman  could  do  nothing  less  than 
say: 


40 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


"  Do  let  me  take  you  to  them." 

"I  am  so  much  obliged  to  you,  Mr.  Hol- 
lowbread !"  smiled  Josie,  giviug  his  arm  a 
gentle  jiressure,  aud  droppiug  it  joyfully. 
"Kecollect,  I  am  to  see  you  to-morrow!" 

Then  away  she  flitted,  leaving  her  vener- 
able admirer  in  a  state  of  widower  despond- 
ency, and  not  at  all  hopeful  that  he  could 
make  the  rest  of  the  evening  pleasant  to 
himself. 


CHAPTER  XI. 

EDGAR  BRADFORD  AGAIX. 

"  I  TiiiXK  your  relatives  are  in  this  direc- 
tion," remarked  Bradford,  signing  toward  the 
right. 

"  Oh,  I  dare  say  they  are  well  enough  off," 
returned  Josie,  inclining  toward  the  left. 
"  I  want  to  talk  to  you  for  five  minutes,  if 
you  can  keej)  away  from  Belle  Warden  so 
long." 

"  I  don't  know  that  I  need  go  back  to  the 
Wardens  immediately,"  said  Bradford,  who 
Avas  not  disposed  to  joke  about  Belle,  hav- 
ing a  high  respect  for  that  young  lady. 

"Do  you  fiit  on  Mrs.  Warden's  door-steps 
much  ?"  queried  Josie. 

She  was  determined  to  learn  whether  ho 
was  in  love  with  Belle,  and  she  knew  that 
persistent  and  saucy  cross-questioning  would 
elicit  some  sparks  of  coufessiou  from  an 
enamored  man,  no  matter  how  reticent  he 
might  strive  to  be. 

"  I  sit  on  her  door-steps  as  much  as  I  do 
ou  any  body's.  I  propose  to  sit  on  yours 
very  frequently." 

"  But  Belle  is  really  a  very  sweet  girl. 
Don't  you  think  so  ?" 

"  She  is  more  than  sweet,"  affirmed  Brad- 
ford, obliged  in  conscience  to  eulogize  the 
young  woman,  if  he  must  treat  of  her.  "  She 
is  singularly  upright  and  high-minded ;  one 
juight  almost  say  chivalrous." 

"  Do  men  fall  in  love  with  chivalrous  la- 
dies?" asked  Josie,  much  inclined  to  believe 
the  contrary. 

"  Perhaps  they  don't,  much.  I  am  inclined 
to  fear  that,  as  a  general  rule,  they  don't." 

"Possibly  because  there  are  so  few  la- 
dies who  are  chivalrous.  Is  that  what  you 
mean  f ' 

"  Partly  that,  and  partly  that  men  are  not 
liable  to  fiiU  in  love  with  their  own  pecul- 
iarities. You  mustn't  understand  that  I  am 
bragging  about  my  own  sex.  It  is  a  poor 
one  enough,  but  it  has  its  merits." 

"  You  may  brag  about  your  sex,  if  you  care 
to.  I  like  it  well  enough.  But  are  you  one 
of  the  exceptions  ?  Do  you  adore  chivalrous 
ladies?" 

"  Heaven  help  mo !  How  one  woman  can 
bore  a  man  about  another  woman  !  I  am  not 
a  bit  in  love  with  Miss  Warden,  if  that  ques- 
tiou  interests  you." 


Josie  judged  that  he  spoke  the  truth,  and 
her  manner  took  an  immediate  turu  toward 
tenderness. 

"I  am  glad  that  you  are  not  absorbed 
there,"  she  said.  "  I  want  to  see  as  much  of 
you  as  you  can  let  me,  without  boring  your- 
self. You  must  know,  and  you  must  be  good 
enough  to  remember,  that,  with  the  excep- 
tion of  my  Murrays  and  the  Wardens,  you 
are  the  only  old  friend  I  have  in  Washing- 
ton." 

Bradford  perceived  that  he  was  being  en- 
couraged to  something  more  than  friendship, 
and  he  was  far  from  feeling  displeased  at  the 
discovery.  He  knew,  from  experiences  of 
other  days,  that  Josie  Murray  was  a  flirt,  but 
he  also  knew  that  she  could  make  flirting  a 
very  agreeable  pastime. 

He  had  coquetted  with  her  before  her  mar- 
riage ;  he  had  likewise  coquetted  with  her, 
as  the  natui'e  of  our  story  obliges  us  to  con- 
fess, after  she  became  a  wife  ;  and  it  seemed 
to  him  that  she  would  be  well  worth  some 
of  his  spare  time,  now  that  she  was  a  widow. 
He  was  one  of  those  variable  men  who  be- 
come models  of  behavior  when  truly  in  love, 
but  who  are  given  to  unscrupulous  hazards 
of  flirting  when  not  touched  bj^  that  purify- 
ing providence. 

"  You  may  be  entirely  sure  that  I  shall  not 
forget  the  old  friendship,"  he  declared,  smil- 
ing to  himself  at  the  platonic  name. 

"That  is  a  very  kind  promise.  It  is  so 
kind  that  it  would  be  quite  naughty  to  break 
it.  I  was  afraid  that  the  only  Congressman 
I  should  sec  any  thing  of  would  be  Mr.  Hol- 
lowbread." 

"  He  seems  to  admire  you  immensely.  He 
looked  at  you  in  a  really  tragic  way  when 
you  deserted  him.  What  a  beau  he  is!  How 
he  has  kept  the  fire  agoing  on  his  venerable 
altar !  Y^our  sex  ought  to  raise  a  statue  to 
him." 

"  He  is  an  old  fool !"  said  Josie. 

"  Oh  ! — for  admiring  women  ?" 

"No,  not  for  that;  but  for  believing  that 
they  can  admire  him.  I  was  tempted  to 
snub  him  just  now,  only — " 

This  was  a  favorite  trick  of  Josie's — to 
half  say  something,  aud  then  wait  to  be  ques- 
tioned, thus  making  it  easier  for  herself  to 
tell  what  she  wanted  to  tell. 

"  Only  what  ?"  asked  Bradford,  of  course. 

"  Only  that  I  may  want  a  favor  of  him." 

"A  favor  of  Mr.  liollowbrcad !  Why  don't 
you  come  to  your  old  friends  for  favors  ? 
You  make  mo  jealous." 

"You  see,  I  am  here  in  Washington  on 
business." 

"Ou  business!  I  couldn't  have  guessed 
it.  What  in  the  universe  have  you  got  to  do 
with  any  thing  that  can  be  called  business?" 

"Afl'airs  of  state,"  laughed  Josie,  in  a  lit- 
tle, mysterious  way,  which  was  meant  to  ex- 
cite curiosity. 

Then  she  waited  to  be  catechised,  prefer- 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


41 


ring  to  have  her  secret  begged  for  ero  she 
tolcl  it,  so  that  she  might  iu  some  sort  grant 
a  favor  before  asking  one.  But  Uradford, 
through  mere  civil  forbearance,  failed  to  nrgc 
his  query ;  so  she  was  driven  to  decide  wheth- 
er she  should  frankly  open  her  business  to 
him.  She  hesitated;  but  it  was  not  be- 
cause she  had  pledged  secrecy  to  Mr.  Hollo  w- 
brcad;  indeed,  it  was  characteristic  other 
that  she  hardly  remembered  that  circum- 
stance. Probably,  if  she  had  been  reproved 
for  her  faithless  intent,  she  would  have  re- 
plied :  "  What  right  had  he  to  ask  me  to 
make  such  a  promise?  He  might  have  known 
that  I  wouldn't  keep  it,  and  couldu't." 

She  hesitated,  because  she  felt  obliged  to 
treat  Bradford  delicately.  He  was  not  a 
Hollowbread ;  he  was  not  an  obvious  old 
turkey-gobbler,  whom  a  woman  could  entrap 
with  a  few  grains  of  llattery  and  parings  of 
flirtation ;  she  could  not  have  won  his  re- 
spectful good-will  by  speaking  to  him  in  the 
cars  and  making  him  her  coulidaufc  within 
half  an  hour  thereafter.  He  was  a  shrewd, 
jclear- headed,  self-possessed  young  fellow, 
Avho,  furthermore,  had  very  high  notions  of 
his  own  character,  and  considered  himself 
peculiarly  bound  to  be  a  gentleman.  To  be 
sure,  his  notions  of  geutlemanliuess  did  not 
include  strictness  in  some  iiarticulars  which 
society  speaks  highly  of,  when  it  has  the 
coui'age  to  speak  of  them  at  all.  Josie  knew 
by  experience  that  he  could  flirt  with  mar- 
-ried  women,  and  even  with  the  wife  of  a  man 
whom  he  called  his  friend.  But  she  had  au 
idea  that  there  were  some  otherwroug  things, 
she  hardly  knew  what,  which  he  stigmatized 
as  dishonorable,  and  which  nothing  iu  the 
world  could  make  hiiu  do. 

Perhaps  pushing  extravagant  demands  for 
the  payment  of  old  barns  might  fall  within 
this  mysterious  circle  of  improiiriety.  How- 
ever, she  decided  to  speak,  and  see  what 
would  come  of  it. 

''  Do  you  believe  in  claims  ?''  she  asked, 
iu  a  light,  indifferent  way,  ready  to  start 
back  from  the  subject  if  he  should  make  a 
face  at  it. 

"Claims!  What  claims?  I  believe  in 
your  claims  to  admiration." 

"And  I  believe  in  yours  to  confidence," 
she  replied,  which  was  certainly  turning  it 
adroitly  and  effectively. 

He  became  graver  as  he  looked  down  into 
her  pleading  face  and  asked  :  "  Do  you  mean 
a  claim  on  the  Treasury  ?" 

Josie  nodded,  meanwhile  never  taking  her 
eyes  oft' his,  i>artly  because  she  meant  to  fas- 
cinate him  and  partly  because  she  was  her- 
self a  little  fascinated.  His  eyes  were  like 
hers  iu  being  dark  and  handsome,  though 
they  were  only  hazel,  while  hers  were  nearly 
black ;  and  they  were  meditative,  while  hers 
Avere  mischievous. 

Now,  when  four  such  orbs  look  steadily 
into  each  other,  the  owners  thereof  are  apt 


to  feel  a  thrill  of  agreeable  emotion.  Each 
of  these  two  young  persons  had  a  pciuiatiou 
that  he  or  she  was  on  the  point  of  falling  in 
love  with  the  other. 

"Are  you  quite  in  earnest?"  he  asked, 
more  tenderly  than  he  had  ever  before  put  a 
question  to  a  claimant. 

Again  Josie  nodded,  still  gazing  at  him 
with  all  the  witchery  that  brooded  under 
her  long  lashes,  and  adding  to  it  the  enchant- 
ment of  a  pleading  smile.  Her  heart  was 
beating  close  by  his  arm,  and  she  almost 
hoped  that  he  felt  it. 

So  he  did,  and  his  soul  was  considerably 
stirred  by  the  sensation,  and  ho  found  it  dif- 
ficult to  meditate  with  statesman-like  wis- 
dom. 

Was  it  possible  that  she  really  had  a  re- 
spectable claim  on  the  Uuited  States  Treas- 
ury? He  looked  at  her  wistfully,  hopiug 
that  it  might  be  so.  She  had  been  very 
sweet  to  him  iu  other  days.  Her  departed 
husbaud,  poor  Augustus,  had  been  a  good 
aud  even  au  overconfiding  friend ;  and  he 
could  not  deny  that  hero  was  a  fair  demand 
upon  his  gratitude.  Besides,  her  heart  was 
thumping,  aud  his  own  was  responding  in 
that  moving  fashion ! 

"  I  have  never  yet  taken  hold  of  any  thing 
of  that  sort,"  he  said.  "  It  hasn't  seemed  to 
come  iu  my  way." 

It  had  come  in  his  way,  enough ;  iu  fact, 
it  had  repeatedly  and  impudently  tried  to 
force  itself  ujion  him ;  but  he  had  uncere- 
moniously and  arrogantly  thriist  it  out  of 
his  way.  He  was  an  excessively  proud 
young  man;  especially  jiroud  of  his  char- 
acter for  honor,  aud  very  touchy  to  any  im- 
putation upon  it ;  marked,  moreover,  by  a 
high,  authoritative  temper,  which  had  grown 
the  higher  during  his  years  of  military  com- 
mand. To  one  lobbyist,  who  had  frankly  of- 
fered him  a  large  sum  to  put  a  claim  through, 
he  had  responded  by  showing  him  the  door 
and  thrusting  him  out. 

Josie  noted  the  reluctant  fashion  iu  which 
he  fingered  the  subject,  and  was  more  hum- 
bled iu  spirit  by  it  than  one  might  have  ex- 
liected,  considering  her  saucy  courage  and 
her  habits  of  ruling  men. 

"Isn't  it — resiiectable ?"  she  stammered.; 
Of  a  sudden  the  idea  came  to  her  that  to\ 
bring  a  sham  claim  against  the  Government 
might  be  low.  This  suspicion,  aud  the 
thought  that  Bradford  might  be  looking 
down  upon  her  as  unlady-like,  gave  her  a 
painful  sense  of  humiliation.  The  sting  was, 
of  course,  all  the  keener  because  once  she  ha<l 
not  been  obliged  to  do  low  things,  nor  to  do 
any  thing  at  all,  for  her  support. 

Only  two  or  three  years  ago  she  had  a 
husband  to  care  for  her,  aud  lived  like  one 
of  the  great  ones  of  the  earth,  as  American 
ladies  do  live. 

It  was  dreadful  to  be  so  fallen  into  pover- 
ty, and  to  be  driven  to  do  what  genteel  poo- 


42 


PLAYING  THE  AHSCHIEF. 


]}le  scorn.  For  a  momeut  she  was  nearly 
overcome  by  the  sense  of  her  cTegradatiou. 
Even  there,  with  all  that  elbowing  swarm  of 
strangers  about  her,  tears  of  mingled  shame 
and  disappointment  brimmed  her  eyelids. 

'•'The  respectability  depends  upon  the  na- 
ture of  the  claim,"  said  Bradford.  "If  it  is 
a  just  one,  the  urging  of  it  is,  of  course,  per- 
fectly respectable.     "What  is  yours  about  ?" 

But  Josie  would  not  answer  his  question 
just  then.  lu  her  present  shamefaced  state 
of  soul,  and  in  his  obviously  unripe  state  of 
sentiment,  she  did  not  want  to  talk  to  him 
about  payment  for  an  old  barn,  at  the  rate 
of  ten  dollars  or  so  for  every  shingle. 

"I  will  let  you  know  some  time,"  she 
murmured.     "  When  can  you  call  on  me  ?" 

"To-morrow — say  at  three  o'clock — if 
that  is  convenient  to  you,"  he  x">roposed. 

"I  shall  be  so  glad  to  see  you  I"  sighed 
Josie. 

In  spite  of  the  weight  at  her  heart,  she 
was  tempted  to  smile.  Congressman  Brad- 
ford and  Congressman  Hollowbread  were  to 
call  on  her  to  hear  her  story.  There  were 
two  of  them ;  the  business  marched. 

"  Who  does  take  charge  of  this  sort  of 
thing?"  she  said  next.  "Is  there  any  body 
in  particular  ?" 

"There  are  members  who  do  almost  noth- 
ing else,  and  who  make  a  great  deal  of  mon- 
ey by  it.  They  push  a  claim  through  for 
ihe  half  of  it,  or  for  what  they  can  get.  Of 
course  they  are  contemptible  scoundrels. 
No  Congressman  has  a  right  to  touch  a  dol- 
lar of  the  money  which  is  paid  on  a  claim. 
I  hope  that  you  don't  need  the  services  of 
such  swindlers.  They  are  a  disgrace  to 
themselves  and  to  the  body  to  which  they 
belong,  and  to  whomsoever  employs  them." 

Josie  would  have  been  angry  at  him  if 
she  had  not  been  afraid  of  him.  She  was 
certainly  angry  at  herself  for  having  men- 
tioned her  business  to  him  so  hastily.  For 
once  she  had  miscalculated  and  overrated 
the  power  of  her  feminine  influences  over 
the  masculine  soul.  Not  a  word  more  must 
be  said  to  him  about  the  claim  until  she  could 
make  him  "  care  for  her,"  as  she  put  it. 

"  Generally,  people  are  supposed  to  go  to 
their  own  member  for  such  work,"  continued 
Bradford.  "  You  must  not  understand  me 
as  recommending  Drummond,"  he  prompt- 
ly added,  remembering  that  that  gentleman 
was  suspected  of  dealing  with  unjust  claims. 

"  Perhaps  I  may  never  go  about  it  to  any 
one,"  said  Josie,  who  was  even  then  looking 
around  the  room  for  Drummond.  "  It  was 
urged  upon  me  by  a  good  friend  of  mine ;" 
and  here  she  referred  to  that  dubious  broker 
and  seller  of  "  points,"  Mr.  Fred  Curbstone  ; 
"  but  1  hate  the  paltry  subject  already.  Let 
us  talk  of  something  less  mercenary." 

Bradford  was  full  of  attentions  to  her 
Jienceforward.  He  felt  that  he  had  hardly 
been  kind  enough  to  a  woman  who  had  al- 


ways been  kind  to  him,  and  sometimes  per- 
ilously overkiud.  Besides,  she  was  such  a 
pretty  creature ;  and  he  had  been  half  in 
love  with  her  more  than  once,  and  was  per- 
haps falling  a  little  in  love  with  her  anew! 
He  pressed  her  hand  favoringly  under  his 
arm,  and  walked  on  with  her  superbly 
through  the  crowd  of  promenaders,  pointing 
out  notable  persons  for  her  inspection. 

"Do  you  want  any  of  these  great  people 
introduced  to  you  V  he  inquired.  "  I  know 
them  nearly  all." 

Josie  would  have  liked  to  get  at  the  gran- 
dees but  for  one  thing.  There  was  a  warmth 
in  Bradford's  manner  which  suggested  court- 
ship, and  for  that  joy  she  was  always  capa- 
ble of  giving  up  all  others. 

"  Do  I  tire  you  ?"  she  murmured.  "'  If  not, 
I  will  take  some  other  opportunity  of  seeing 
the  curiosities." 

"  Tire  me !  You  gratify  and  flatter  me 
very  much.  I  don't  suppose  that  any  mau 
was  ever  tired  of  your  company." 

It  was  true  enough.  Even  poor  Augustus, 
to  whom  she  had  not  been  a  superexcellent 
wife,  was  always  bewitched  with  her. 

"  Tell  me  honestly  one  thing,"  she  said. 
"  Did  you  evade  coming  to  me  on  the  cars  I 
I  sent  Mr.  Hollowbread  for  you." 

"  The  old  rogue !  He  lounged  up  to  me 
and  talked  finance,  and  never  mentioned  you. 
That  was  so  like  Hollowbread !" 

"  Was  it  ?"  said  Josie,  without,  however, 
being  angry  with  the  old  deceiver,  whose 
motive  she  guessed  and  aiipreciated.  "  Was 
Mr.  Drummond  there  ?" 

"  Yes ;  and  Beauman.  Did  you  send  for 
all  of  us  ?"  he  laughed,  remembering  what  a 
universal  coquette  she  was. 

"  I  sent  for  you.  What  a  shabby  thing  iu 
you  to  say  that !  Who  is  that  little  black- 
eved  thing,  with  long  black  hair  down  her 
back  ?" 

"  That  is  Jessie  Cohen,  the  painter.  She 
paints  portraits  of  heroes  and  sages,  and 
badgers  Uncle  Sam  into  buying  them.  The 
honored  notables  themselves  don't  much 
care  to  purchase.  !Miss  Appropriation  Cohen 
our  funny  men  call  her." 

"And  does  Uncle  Sam  buy  them?"  in- 
quired Josie,  Avondering  in  her  busy  head 
whether  she  too  might  not  learn  to  portray 
the  national  glories,  if  the  price  suited. 

"  He  has  had  to  buy  some.  You  will  find 
two  or  three  heroes  hung  up  about  the  Cap- 
itol in  terrorcm.  The  art  is  not  high,  but 
the  pay  is.  Two  thousaiul  dollars  make  a 
square  yard  of  daubing  sublime." 

"  What  do  you  give  so  much  for,  if  the 
work  is  poor  ?" 

"  She  smiles  and  flatters  for  it.  What  is 
an  ass  of  a  legislator  to  do  when  Titania 
coaxes  his  long  ears  ?" 

Josephine  thought  of  her  claim,  and  of 
her  own  faculty  at  smiling  and  cnjoling,  and 
took  courage. 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


43 


"  There  is  that  man  -  woman  again,"  she 
continued,  indicating  tlie  virile  coHtumo  and 
feminine  visage  of  S(iuire  Nancy  Ai)i)h\yard. 
"I hate  a  man-woman,  she  is  so  disappoint- 
ing! You  see  a  suit  of  clothes  coming  to- 
ward you;  and  you  tliiidc  that  there  is 
something  whicli  will  like  yoTi,and  protect 
yon,  or,  at  least,  hurt  you  ;  and  then  you  liud 
a  helpless,  useless,  harmless  man-woman  in- 
side of  it.  Did  you  ever  see  a,  face  at  a 
window,  and  think  it  was  a  pretty  face,  and 
you  would  like  to  llirt  with  it,  and  then  find 
out  that  it  was  a  boy's  face,  instead  of  a 
young  lady's  ?  And  wasn't  it  disappointing 
iiud  enraging  ?  Well,  that  is  about  the  way 
a,  woman  feels  toward  a  Bloomer." 

"  I  should  think  it  might  bo  so,"  replied 
Bradford.  Meanwhile  ho  surveyed  Squire 
Nancy  with  a  calm,  meditative  curiosity, 
much  as  if  ho  were  inspecting  somo  very 
curious  specimen  of  monkey — some  monkey 
which  stood  more  than  usually  upright.  It 
was  such  an  arrogant  stare,  and  so  obvious- 
ly though  unconsciously  contemptuous,  that 
it  was  a  wonder  Appleyard  (if  one  may  call 
her  so)  did  not  turn  crimson  with  confusion 
and  wrath.  But  that  female  attorney  liked 
amazingly  to  be  stared  at,  and  bore  the 
Congressman's  scornful  examination  with  a 
genial  smile. 

"What  does  she  do?"  asked  Josie.  "Is 
she  really  a  lawyer  ?" 

"  A  lawyer  without  clients,  or  position,  or 
any  thing  that  is  legal.  She  is  clamoring 
to  be  admitted  to  the  Washington  Bar,  and 
begging  meanwhile  for  a  clerkship.  I  have 
had  a  chance  to  refuse  to  sign  her  petitions, 
and,  being  a  fiend  in  human  shape,  I  im- 
proved it." 

"  You  are  very  hard  upon  her,"  smiled 
Mrs.  Murray,  pleased  that  he  should  be  so. 

"  I  don't  treat  her  half  so  badly  as  does 
the  member  from  your  district.  I  may  as 
well  tell  you  the  tale  ;  it  is  the  best-known 
joke  in  Washington ;  you  will  bo  sure  to 
hear  it.  Drummond  is  pretending  to  court 
this  Appleyard  nondescript,  and  they  say  the 
poor  Squire  really  hopes  to  bring  him  to  an 
otfer,  and  is  sweetly  in  love  with  him.  Now, 
that  I  call  shabby.  It  would  be  a  good  joke 
if  she  should  sue  him  for  a  breach  of  prom- 
ise, and  get  her  case.  I  wish  she  would, 
upon  my  honor." 

Meantime  Squire  Appleyard  strolled  by 
them,  elbowing  her  way  with  considerable 
ujaufulness  through  the  crowd^aud  glancing 
< /impatiently  in   all    directions,  probably  in 
'  search  of  Drummond.     She  was  a  tall  and 
vigorous  young  person,  resembling  in  figure 
a  man  much  more  than  most  women  do,  but 
\  still  looking  oddly  in  coat,  vest,  and  panta- 
loons.    It  was  impossible  not  to  note,  with  a 
sort  of  discontented  surprise,  the  slope  of 
the  shoulders,  the  hollowness  of  the  back, 
the  breadth  of  the  hips,  the  fullness  of  the 
haunches,  and  the  pulpy  plumpness  of  the 


thighs.  To  an  oyo  unaccustomed  to  plain 
exhibition  of  such  phenomena  the  effect  was 
decidedly  grotesque,  a  little  indecorous,  and, 
one  niight  almost  say,  revolting.  It  was  a 
coarse  and  unpleasing  removal  of  the  veils 
and  mysteries  with  which  our  race  has  in 
the  main  loved  to  drape  the  forms  of  wom- 
anhood. Ninety-nine  persons  out  of  a  hun- 
dred would  have  surveyed  it  with  the  same 
distaste  which  appeared  in  the  faces  of  our 
two  by  no  means  faslidious  spectators,  Jo- 
sejihine  Murray  and  Bradford. 

"There  is  Drunnnond  behind  lis,  and  she 
is  making  for  him,"  whispered  tlie  Congress- 
man. 

An  idea  which  was  both  practical  and  mis- 
chievous flashed  through  Josie's  lively  brain. 
She  would  obtain  a  business  interview  with 
her  member,  and  she  would  cut  out  and  tor- 
ment that  caricature  of  her  sex. 


CHAPTER  XII. 

PAYING  COURT  TO  ONE'S   MEMBER. 

"  Introduce  me  to  Mr.  Drummond,"  whis- 
pered Josie  to  Bradford.  "  I  want  to  make 
that  creature  know  that  she  is  a  woman." 

"Twofold  cruelty!"  smiled  the  young 
man.  "  Both  Squire  Appleyard  and  I  will 
be  wretched.  But  woman  must  have  her 
will." 

"Only  I  want  you  to  see  me  again  before 
I  leave,"  she  added,  pressing  his  arm  with 
her  gloved  hand,  as  one  may  surely  i)ress 
the  arm  of  au  old  friend. 

"  Of  course,"  nodded  Bradford  ;  and,  be- 
fore he  knew  it,  he  had  returned  the  press- 
ure, so  quickly  could  tliis  little  witch  arouse 
the  male  instinct  of  courtship.  He  looked 
down  into  her  eyes  intently,  he  was  really 
loath  to  leave  her.  Then  he  turned,  signal- 
ed to  Drummond,  presented  him  to  Mrs.  Mur- 
ray, said  a  word  or  two  to  start  conversa- 
tion, and  departed. 

Mr.  Sykes  Drummond  was  one  of  those 
men  whom  a  woman  can  not  regard  with 
indifference,  but  whom  she  must  either  like 
or  dislike  fervently,  and  that  almost  at  once. 
There  was  about  him  exceptional  power, 
which  of  course  the  feminine  soul  admires ; 
but  there  was  also  exceptional  roughness, 
whicli  the  feminine  soul  usually  hates.  Ho 
was  not  the  iron  hand  in  a  velvet  glove,  but 
the  iron  hand  without  any  glove  at  all. 

Not  only  in  his  physical,  but  likewise  in 
his  intellectual  structure  he  was  a  notable 
example  of  the  brutal  sort  of  vigor.  His 
gait  or  action,  whether  of  body  or  of  mind, 
was  swift,  strong,  rude,  and  noisy. 

There  was  not  a  lazy  bone  in  him  ;  he  was 
as  energetic  as  the  very  devil;  and  by  this 
comparison  wo  mean  that  there  was  some- 
thing disagreeable  in  his  energy ;  that  there 


44 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


Tvas  even  sometliing  -wliich  gave  you  an  idea 
of  the  malign  and  diabolical. 

Very  different  "was  be  from  Bradford,  al- 
tbongh  botb  were  potent  organizations.  In 
Bradford  tbere  was  a  poise,  a  graceful  de- 
liberation of  power,  as  in  tbe  Discobolus  of 
Praxiteles ;  while  in  Drummond  there  was 
a  harsh,  violent,  exaggerated  action,  like 
that  of  the  Fightiug  Gladiator.  He  was  not 
as  handsome  a  man  in  the  face  as  his  rival ; 
he  had  nothing  of  the  other's  engaging  med- 
itativeness  and  sensibility  of  expression ; 
neither  were  his  featux-es  as  classic  in  out- 
line. Nevertheless,  his  physiognomy  was 
very  impressive,  and,  if  you  once  learned  to 
like  it,  it  fascinated  you.  It  had  a  sort  of 
heauU  dii  diahJe ;  it  was  bewitching,  because 
it  was  so  dauntlessly  wicked ;  besides,  it  was 
really  a  grand  aquiline  visage. 

People  who  admired  it  thought  it  all  the 
handsomer  because  of  the  massive  jaws,  the 
obstinate,  strong  chin,  the  dusky  glare  of  the 
black  eyes,  and  the  nucoucealable  gleams  of 
passion. 

Squire  Nancy  Appleyard,  for  instance, 
could  not  look  at  it  without  palpitating 
from  beaver  to  boots,  and  considered  it  the 
noblest  figure-head  that  she  had  ever  seen  on 
the  shoulders  of  man  or  woman. 

Josie  Murray  was  soon  in  a  turmoil  about 
Drummond — in  a  turmoil,  that  is,  over  the 
question  whether  she  should  like  him  or  de- 
test him.  He  strode  along  with  her  like  a 
tug-boat  convoying  a  skiff,  apparently  not 
even  thinking  whether  the  pace  might  be 
pleasant  to  her  or  not,  and  shouldering  aside 
crowded  fellow-men  without  regard  to  their 
glances  of  indignation.  If  one  of  them  ut- 
tered a  grumble  at  being  thus  hustled,  he 
looked  around  at  him  with  the  stare  of  a 
pugilist  spoiliug  for  a  fight,  while  a  smile  of 
derision  flickered  along  his  flexible  mouth. 

Of  all  the  five  thousand  souls  who  cram- 
med the  Treasury,  he  was  seemingly,  and 
very  likely  was  in  reality,  the  most  arrogant 
and  pugnacious. 

"He  is  no  gentleman,"  said  Josie  to  her- 
self, a  little  afraid  of  him,  but  also  a  good 
deal  interested.     "  But  isn't  he  tremendous!" 

Her  womanly  divination  was  at  work 
upon  him,  investigating  his  character  and 
querying  how  it  would  serve  her.  She  de- 
cided that,  if  he  should  only  come  to  love 
her,  ho  Avould  be  an  incomparable  protector, 
fraying  a  way  for  her  through  the  throng 
of  life,  and  lifting  her  into  luxurious  securi- 
ty, where  she  could  dazzle  and  rule. 

If  he  should  come  to  love  her !  But  could 
this  bearish  egotist  ever  truly  and  self-sac- 
riliciugly  love  any  body?  She  somewhat 
doubted  it,  but  she  soon  wanted  to  see. 

Meantime  they  were  talking  mere  Wash- 
ington commonplaces.  Their  conversation 
was  below  the  level  of  their  possibilities,  as 
well  as  below  the  level  of  their  thoughts — at 
least,  Jositi's  thoughts.     What  a  bar  the  de- 


corum of  society  is  to  dramatic  action  and 
speech  in  life !  Two  beings  who  would  like 
at  first  sight  to  pummel  or  to  embrace  each 
other  are  obliged  by  respect  for  public  ojiin- 
ion  to  keep  their  arms  off"  each  other's  shoul- 
ders. 

It  is  only  drunkards,  professional  bullies, 
and  perhaps  the  noble  savage,  who  establish 
acquaintance  on  a  sincere  basis  and  come  di- 
rectly to  the  veracities  of  hugging  and  fist- 
icuffing. 

But,  after  a  few  minutes  of  aimless  babble, 
Josie  felt  sufficiently  at  ease  with  her  rep- 
resentative to  commence  on  subjects  person- 
al to  him.  She  was  habitually  bold  in  this 
stratagem  of  talking  to  men  about  them- 
selves, for  she  had  discovered  that  it  ripen- 
ed intimacies  with  them  rapidly,  and,  more- 
over, that  it  flattered  their  vanity. 

"  There  is  a  gentleman  who  seems  to  be 
very  anxious  to  speak  to  you,"  she  said, 
archly. 

"What  gentleman?"  asked  Drummond, 
glaring  about  him  in  a  way  which  boded 
small  civility  to  interlopers. 

Josephine  waved  her  fan  toward  the  fem- 
inine figure  and  manly  raiment  of  Squire 
Nancy. 

Drummond  stared  at  Miss  Appleyard's 
pleading  face  with  a  quizzical  writhing  of 
his  lips,  slightly  nodded  his  Plutonian  shock 
of  long  black  hair  in  response  to  her  bow, 
and  theu  said  to  Mrs.  Murray : 

"  That  gentleman  may  wait.  Haw,  haw, 
haw !" 

"He  doesn't  care  for  her  a  bit,"  thought 
Josie,  much  pleased.  "But  I  wish  he 
wouldn't  laugh  so  like  a  hyena.  It  is 
enough  to  make  one  hate  him." 

She  was  fairly  right  there.  A  Southern 
Senator,  the  eccentric  Judge  Pickens  Rig- 
don,  had  observed  of  Drummond :  "  By  Jove, 
sir!  if  any  man  in  my  district  laughed  like 
that,  he  would  get  bushwhacked,  sir!" 

Mr.  Drummond  now  turned  his  broad  back 
full  upon  Squire  Apjileyard,  and  marched 
Mrs.  Murray  toward  a  distant  quarter  of  the 
edifice.  But  hero  the  lady  presently  laid 
eyes  on  somebody  whom  she  did  not  care  to 
come  to  sjieech  with.  Toiling  through  the 
dense  crowd,  and  wearing  on  their  wrinkled 
white  faces  an  unmistakable  expression  of 
lassitude,  there  appeared  the  venerable  Rec- 
tor Murray  and  his  still  more  A'enerablo  wife. 

Josie  judged,  from  their  air  of  weariness, 
that  they  were  more  than  ready  to  go  home. 
Now,  she  had  just  begun  her  evening;  she 
had  not  yet  spoken  about  the  claim  to  her 
member ;  she  meant  to  be  introduced  to  at 
least  a  dozen  more  legislators ;  and  conse- 
quently she  was  by  no  means  inclined  to  run 
a  chance  of  departure. 

"  We  will  turn  into  one  of  these  small 
rooms,  if  you  please,"  she  said,  jiromptly  fa- 
cing away  from  her  relatives.  "  I  am  tired 
of  this  maelstrom  of  promenading." 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


'•  Tho  smaller  the  room  tlio  better,"  laugh- 
ed Druramoiul,  loudly.  "  I  sbould  like  to 
Ihid  ouo  Avluch  would  only  hold  us  two." 

It  was  rather  audacious,  but  still  it  meant 
a  sort  of  courtship  ;  and,  in  Josie's  opinion, 
saucy  courtship  was  better  than  none. 

"You  needn't  look  for  such  a  room,"  slio 
laughed.  "  Still,  if  we  could  liud  a  place 
where  I  could  ask  you  a  serious  question  or 
two,  I  should  like  it." 

"  Come  on,  then,"  said  Drnmmoud,  his  cu- 
riosity aroused,  as  she  meant  it  should  be. 
'•But  I  am  dying  to  know  wbat  soi't  of  seri- 
ous questions  you  ask.  Couldn't  you  hint  at 
the  subject  as  wo  go  along  ?" 

"  Too  many  listeners,"  said  Mrs.  Murray. 

"There  seems  to  be  a  quiet  corner  over 
there,  to  the  left.     Won't  that  do  f" 

"No,  that  won't  do,"  smiled  Josie,  who 
was  playing  her  usual  trick  of  prolonging  a 
denouement,  and  so  exciting  curiosity  as  much 
as  might  be. 

"  The  next  room,  then.  It  seems  to  me  a 
thousand  miles  off." 

It  was  jocose  exaggeration,  of  course;  and 
yet  he  was  really  interested.  She  had  al- 
ready made  herself  quite  bewitching  to  him 
by  her  cleverness,  by  those  side-glances  of 
hers  which  were  so  much  more  sentimental 
than  she  knew  of,  and  by  certain  seemingly 
accidental  totterings  against  his  shoulder. 
He  had  said  to  himself  that  she  was  a  flirt, 
and  also  that  she  was  deucedly  well  worth 
flirting  with. 

They  toiled  on  from  swarm  to  swarm; 
they  passed  through  one  poiiulous  room,  and 
then  another;  but  Josie  could  still  find  no 
place  secluded  enough  for  her  catechism. 

"  I  really  believe,  Mrs.  IMurray,  that  you 
mean  to  drive  me  deranged  with  curiosity," 
laughed  Drummond. 

"Don't  lose  your  mind,"  she  answered. 
"'It  would  bo  a  calamity  to  both  of  us,  as 
well  as  to  the  country.  Well,  at  last  here 
is  a  corner  where  I  can  tell  you  my  business. 
I  don't  suppose  you  want  to  hear  it." 

"  I  want  to  hear  any  thing  that  you  will 
say,  Mrs.  Murray." 

Thereupon,  regardless  of  her  pledges  of 
secrecy  to  Hollowbread  and  Bradford,  Josie 
proceeded  to  let  out,  little  by  little,  after  her 
inciting  custom,  the  story  of  her  claim.  It 
was  certainly  ridiculous,  this  enormous  de- 
mand for  a  ghost  of  a  barn,  and  she  felt  it  to 
be  so  as  she  made  it.  But  Mr.  Drummond, 
notwithstanding  his  hyena  habit  of  laugh- 
ter, and  his  hard-hearted  scorn  of  most  things 
human,  did  not  listen  with  derision.  He 
saw,  even  more  plainly  than  Josie  did,  that 
the  claim  was  a  sham  one.  But  he  also  per- 
ceived (and  this  made  the  matter  respectable 
in  his  practical  eyes)  that  there  was  a  ro- 
bust chance  of  getting  the  money.  This  lit- 
tle claimant  before  him  was  a  woman,  aud 
that  was  a  point  in  favor  of  her  winning. 
Moreover,  she  was  a  very  handsome  v\oman, 


and,  in  his  opinion,  singularly  fascinating  in 
licr  ways,  and  obviously  neither  timid  nor 
fastidious  in  using  her  fascinations.  Final- 
ly, she  was  socially  a  lady,  related  to  a  cler- 
gyman of  somo  note,  and  to  one  of  the  most 
honored  old  oUicers  in  the  army.  It  seemed 
to  him  that,  with  intelligent  engineering, 
such  a  claimant  as  that  could  easily  get  a 
hundred  thousand  dollars  or  so.  Should  he 
devote  a  portion  of  his  valuable  time  and  la- 
bor to  the  job  ?  Well,  yes !  he  promptly  rc- 
.sponded,for  he  was  a  quick  man  at  coming 
to  a  decision,  and  so  capable  of  multifarious 
work  that  he  never  feared  having  too  many 
irons  in  the  fire. 

"  You  have  some  dates  and  flicts,  I  sup- 
pose— some  affidavits  relating  to  it — some 
record  or  other  V  he  queried. 

"  Oh,  I  have  a  lot  of  papers  I"  replied  Jo- 
sie, much  pleased  with  his  business-like  way 
of  going  at  the  matter,  and  trying  to  be 
equally  jiractical.  "  I  have  a  letter  from 
an  old  gentleman  who  remembers  the  bat- 
tle, and  several  letters  from  people  whose 
fathers  have  told  them  about  it." 

"  I  think  we  shall  prove  the  battle  with- 
out trouble,"  said  Drummond,  somewhat 
tempted  to  haw-haw.  "  But  how  about  the 
burning  of  the  building  ?" 

"This  old  gentleman,  Mr.  Jeremiah,  or 
Jedediah  Driukwater,  remembers  that  dis- 
tinctly, he  says." 

"I  hoiie  and  pray  that  the  worthy  old 
hero  may  not  be  taken  away  before  we  can 
get  at  him.  Well,  now,  Mrs.  Murray,  if  I 
am  to  advise  you,  you  must  do  me  the  favor 
to  show  mo  these  papers." 

"Oh,  you  are  so  good!  I  am  infinitely 
obliged  to  you.  Could  you  call  on  me  at 
my  imcle's  ?" 

"  I  could,  if  you  would  let  me.  I  don't 
think  I  should  find  the  least  difficulty  in  do- 
ing it." 

"To-morrow?" 

"The  best  of  all  days." 

"  Shall  it  be  at  one  o'clock  ?" 

"  At  one  precisely,"  smiled  Drummond. 

The  claim  was  a  funny  one  in  itself,  and 
still  funnier  as  coming  from  the  house  of 
the  Reverend  John  JIurray,  brother  of  that 
most  honorable  old  martinet,  Colonel  Mur- 
ray. 

Josie,  too,  was  a  little  disposed  to  laugh  ; 
things  Avere  surely  going  on  famously.  She 
was  to  see  Congressman  Hollowbread  at 
twelve.  Congressman  Drummond  at  one, 
and  Congressman  Bradford  at  three. 

"Allow  me  one  word  of  caution,  Mrs. 
Murray,"  continued  Drummond.  "  Too 
many  cooks  spoil  the  broth — haw,  haw, 
haw !  It  would  be  well,  for  the  present, 
at  least,  to  leave  this  matter  entirely  with 
me.  That  is  natural,  you  know.  I  am  the 
member  —  the  unworthy  member  —  haw, 
haw ! — from  your  district.  Of  course  my 
guarantee  for  your  claim  would  seem  to  be 


46 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


better  tbau  tlie  guarantee  of  any  other  rep- 
resentative.    Don't  you  think  so  ?" 

"Certainly,"  nodded  Josie.  "But  yon, 
too,  must  be  discreet,"'  she  added,  not  caring 
to  have  him  compare  notes  with  Hollow- 
bread  and  Bradford. 

Drummond  promised  secrecy,  and  he 
meant  it.  His  brazen  clangorousness  and 
conceit  gave  him  the  air  of  a  tattling  boast- 
er ;  but  he  Avas  in  reality  far  too  able  a  man 
to  let  even  his  enormous  arrogance  beguile 
him  into  unwise  confidences;  and  in  polit- 
ical intrigues,  especially  such  as  concerned 
money,  he  could  be  as  close  as  the  cruel 
grave. 

Just  as  this  agreement  had  been  reached 
their  colloquy  was  interrupted.  Mrs.  War- 
den and  Belle  came  up,  the  former  on  the 
arm  of  Mr.  T.  M.  C.  A.  Smyler,  and  the  lat- 
ter on  the  arm  of  Bradford.  Now,  Mr.  Smy- 
ler was  a  most  exalted  personage,  for  he 
held  one  of  the  loftiest  positions  in  Con- 
gress. Consequently,  Josie  Murray  was  de- 
lighted to  be  introduced  to  him,  and  imme- 
diately began  to  do  her  best  to  enchant  him. 
It  was  of  no  use ;  the  grand  dignitary  was 
not  to  be  mesmerized ;  his  role  in  life  was  to 
mesmerize  other  people. 

He  bowed  and  he  smiled  ever  so  many 
times,  and  he  uttered  commonplaces  in  a 
low,  sweet,  ingratiating  tone,  which  was  all 
somehow  amazingly  flattering,  at  least  to 
ordinary  spirits.  This  was  his  forte ;  this 
was  the  chief  secret  of  his  success,  this  gra- 
ciousuess  of  manner.  True,  he  was  a  man 
of  fair  ability,  capable  of  hard  work  and 
adroit  managings,  and  gifted  in  stump- 
speaking  ;  but,  after  all,  it  was  the  bow,  the 
smiles,  the  mellifluous  voice,  and  the  amica- 
ble unction  of  deportment  which  had  main- 
ly brought  him  popular  favor;  he  had  won 
position  l)y  the  same  gifts  which  enable  a 
clever  salesman  to  win  customers.  On  the 
whole,  Josie  felt  that  she  was  rather  out- 
blandislied  by  Mr.  Smyler,  and  did  not  quite 
know  what  to  do  with  him. 

Mrs.  "Warden,  who  knew  that  the  man 
was  no  gallant,  and  that  tliere  was  nothing 
to  be  got  out  of  him,  except  through  polit- 
ical or  pecuniary  pipe-laying,  looked  on  at 
this  conference  with  sparkling  eyes,  much 
amused  at  her  young  friend's  eagerness  and 
perplexity. 

"  i\Ir8.  Murray,  excuse  me  for  interrupting 
you,"  broke  in  Belle  Warden,  at  last.  "  But 
we  met  your  uncle  and  aunt,  and  they  are 
very  anxious  to  find  you." 

Mrs.  Warden  made  a  face  at  her  daugh- 
ter, and  then  whispered,  "  What  did  you  tell 
her  for?     She  doesn't  care  to  know." 

"  But  she  ought  to  know,"  answered  Belle, 
a  right-minded  young  lady,  who  wanted  to 
sec  ])cople  do  the  right  thing. 

"  Oh,  dear,  how  shall  I  over  find  them  in 
this  crowd  !"  exclaimed  Josie,  looking  about 
her  for  assistance,  and  perhaps  hoping  for 


the  arm  of  the  great  Smyler.  "  If  I  lose 
them,  how  shall  I  get  home  ?" 

"  Why,  go  with  us,  of  course,"  said  Mrs. 
Warden,  who  had  the  sympathy  of  a  veter- 
an of  fashion  for  a  young  lady  who  wanted 
to  see  a  party  out. 

"Oh,  thank  you  so  much,  Mrs.  Warden !" 
cried  Josie.  "  Now,  if  somebody  could  look 
up  my  friends  and  tell  them  not  to  wait  for 
me!  The  poor  old  people  must  be  horribly 
tired." 

"Do  go,  Mr.  Bradford,"  implored  Belle, 
surrendering  her  young  man  at  once  for  the 
sake  of  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Murray. 

"I  know  them  by  sight," proffered  Drum- 
mond. "  Do  you  skirmish  one  way,  Brad- 
ford, and  I'll  skirmish  the  other.  We  will 
make  the  circuit  of  the  rooms  and  meet 
here." 


CHAPTER  XIII. 

A  PACK   OF  ADMIRERS. 

"TiiEY  will  be  back  soon,"  said  Josie, 
smiling  her  thanks  to  Belle  Warden,  who 
could  hardly  muster  grace  to  smile  back 
again.  "Meantime  I  suppose  we  must  be 
rooted  to  this  spot.  And  it  is  all  on  my  ac- 
count.    I  am  so  sorry !" 

"  I  can  not  believe,  Mrs.  Murray,  that  any 
of  the  rest  of  us  are  sorry,"  observed  Mr. 
Smyler,  with  that  oily  geniality  which  had 
made  the  sovereign  people  delight  to  honor 
him.  "  I  find  it  very  pleasant  to  be  rooted 
to  this  spot." 

"  That  is  the  jiroper  sort  of  thing  to  say," 
put  in  Mrs.  Warden,  anxious  to  keep  a  hold 
on  the  skirts  of  the  puissant  functionaiy's 
attention.  "But  I  must  warn  Mrs.  Murray 
not  to  let  herself  be  carried  away.  You  are 
good  to  every  body." 

Again  the  great,  sweet  man  bowed,  and 
showed  his  beneficent  teeth  ;  there  was  evi- 
dently no  limit  to  him  in  that  direction. 

"Are  you  very  obliging,  sir  ?"  asked  Josie, 
reverently.  "  Then  I  would  like  to  ask  you 
some  troublesome  questions." 

Mr.  Smyler  intimated  that  she  might  ask, 
and  he  would  answer,  until  they  both  suc- 
cumbed with  fatigue. 

"  I  have  been  reading  Trollope  lately,"  she 
continued.  "  Mr.  Palliser  is  so  anmsing  with 
his  labors  as  Chancellor  of  the  Exchequer! 
Now,  who  is  your  INIr.  Palliser  in  Congress  ?" 

Her  object,  it  must  bo  understood,  was  to 
learn  precisely  who  had  charge  of  the  pub- 
lic moneys,  so  that  she  might  go  to  the 
proper  quarter  to  obtain  payment  for  her 
burned  barn. 

Mr.  Smyler,  T)eing  no  novel-reader,  did  not 
know  at  all  Avho  Mr.  Palliser  was ;  but  he 
got  at  the  gist  of  her  meaning  tlirough  the 
phrase,  "  Chancellor  of  the  Exchequer." 

"  Why,  the  position  is  somowluit  divided 
with  us,  Mrs.  Murray,"  he  said.    "  It  is  shared, 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF, 


47 


I  should  be  iuclincd  to  say,  between  three  or 
more  persons.  The  Secretary  of  the  Treas- 
ury is  iiroperly  our  finance  minister;  but, 
then,  he  has  no  seat  in  the  legishitivo  body, 
as  probably  you  are  aware." 

"  I  am  so  ignorant!"  confessed  Josie. 

Mr.  Smyler  showed  his  teeth  again,  as 
though  this  were  the  most  delightful  in- 
formation possible,  although,  in  reality,  it 
gave  him  neither  satisfaction  nor  sorrow. 
His  only  reason  lor  showing  his  teeth,  aside 
from  mere  born  instinct  and  life-long  habit 
of  grinning,  was  a  desire  to  win  adherents. 

"Then,  in  Congress,"  ho  continued,  "we 
have  various  committees  which  have  to  do 
with  fniance,  and  each  of  these  committees 
has  its  chairman." 

Thereupon  ho  enumerated  several  honor- 
able gentlemen,  and  among  them  Josie's 
friend,  Mr.  Hollowbread,  chief  of  the  Com- 
mittee on  Circulating  Medium. 

"Mr.  Hollowbread!"  exclaimed  our  hero- 
ine, wondering  if  he  were  the  person  who 
held  her  money,  and  regretting  that  she  had 
maufcuvred  herself  out  of  his  fiscal  company. 

"  Yes,  Mr.  Hollowbread.  You  are  ac- 
quainted with  him?  A  very  excellent, 
charming  gentleman,  and  a  man  of  great 
ability,"  declared  Mr.  Smyler,  who  spoke 
well  of  every  body,  and  especially  of  every 
body  in  the  political  world.  "  One  of  our 
leading  men  iu  linaucial  questions  and  de- 
bates." 

"  So  Mr.  Hollowbread  is  our  Mr.  Palliser  ?" 
inquired,  or,  rather,  inferred,  Josie,  hoping 
that  it  might  be  so. 

"Yes  —  I  dare  say — precisely,"  grinned 
Mr.  Smyler,  still  unable  to  attach  any  pre- 
cise idea  to  the  word  Palliser. 

Josie's  most  urgent  desire  now  was  to  find 
Mr.  Hollowbread,  and  renew  with  vigor  her 
hitherto  idly  treated  duty  of  captivating 
him.  But  before  she  could  rediscover  him, 
she  had  to  converse  at  length  Avith  several 
geutlemen  ;  not  a  disagreeable  task,  by-the- 
way,  to  a  truly  womanly  woman,  and  espe- 
cially uot  to  our  heroine. 

First  appeared  Mr.  Hamilton  Bray,  a  tre- 
mendously heavy  young  swell,  with  a  long, 
thin,  graceful  figure,  and  a  girlishly  hand- 
some face.  He  was  surely  uot  more  than 
twenty -five,  and  his  mustache  was  but  a 
mere  down  of  chestnut ;  but  you  would  have 
judged  from  his  air  of  wisdom  and  weariness 
that  he  was  the  oldest  inhabitant  of  the  po- 
litical world:  it  seemed  nothing  less  thau  a 
miracle  that  his  brown  curls  had  not  turned 
to  silver. 

He  was  as  bumptious  in  opiuion  as  a 
spoiled  child,  and  his  tone  of  superiority  was 
something  either  amusing  or  insufferable. 
It  was  a  treat  to  watch  him  when  he  was 
presented  to  Josie  Murray.  He  bowed  with 
a  mien  of  elegant  condescension,  and  then 
threw  himseK  into  an  attitude  which  said. 
Admire  me !    Beautiful  as  she  was,  he  hard- 


ly looked  nt  her  twice,  and  seemed  to  expect 
that  she  should  look  at  him. 

'J'ho  present  occupation  of  this  wonderful 
adolescent  was  to  be  the  private  secretary 
of  that  famous  political  leader.  General 
Bangs.  Of  Bangs  he  spoke  mucli,  indirect- 
ly representing  him  as  an  able,  though  fre- 
quently erring,  man,  whom  he  (Bray)  was 
engineering  tlnougli  the  political  world,  and 
of  whom  he  had  hopes. 

And  yet  the  general  was  a  prodigious 
creature,  too,  as  compared  with  all  meu  less 
intelligently  guided.  His  fervent  nature 
was  constantly  revolting  against  the  mean 
world  around  him,  and  striving  to  evoke  a 
new  and  hitherto  unsuspected  order  out  of 
chaos.  He  despised  from  the  bottom  of  his 
volcanic  soul  the  point-no-j)oiut  i)olicy  of 
the  men  who  now  had  the  ear  of  the  Admin- 
istration. AVith  God's  help  (and  Bray's  also, 
no  doubt),  he  would  yet  overcome  the  poiut- 
no-poiut  muddle. 

In  short,  this  youth  talked  very  vaguely 
and  bombastically  and  sillily.  Such  was  his 
conceit,  too,  that  unless  Providence  should 
give  him  some  humbling  hard  knocks,  it  did 
not  seem  likely  that  he  would  ever  talk 
much  better.  His  enormous  and  protuber- 
ant vanity  was  exasperating,  and  did  him 
socially  great  damage.  He  so  obviously  en- 
joyed hearing  himself  discourse,  that,  no 
matter  what  he  said,  no  listener  could  en- 
joy it. 

Even  Josephine  Murray,  who  could  put 
up  with  as  much  from  a  man  as  any  lady, 
soon  got  tired  of  Mr.  Bray.  Of  course  she 
did  not  quarrel  with  him ;  she  was  one  of 
those  wise  women  who  never  quarrel,  ex- 
cept with  an  old  friend  who  is  unlikelj-  to 
strike  back ;  moreover,  to  do  her  justice,  she 
was  one  of  the  most  patient,  amiable,  court- 
eous creatures  that  ever  wore  a  bonnet. 
But  she  could  not  stand  this  "hifalutin" 
young  egotist,  and  she  got  quit  of  him  as 
promptly  as  might  be  without  incivility. 

Then  came  Mr.  Calhoun  Clavers,  a  shoot 
of  the  old  lauded  aristocracy  of  South  Car- 
olina, but  now  glad  to  earn  a  modest  salary 
in  the  office  of  Mr.  Simeon  AUchin,  one  of 
the  great  "Washington  bankers  and  railroad- 
ers. A  tall,  slender,  dark  young  man,  with 
a  pointed  profile,  and  coarse,  black  hair,  ho 
was  far  from  handsome.  But  he  was  so 
graceful  and  self-possessed,  so  self-respect- 
ful and  yet  so  sweetly  considerate  to  others, 
so  mature  in  the  proprieties  of  life  and  yet 
so  full  of  generous  sentiraeutalism,  that  he 
touched  Josephine  with  honest  wonder  and 
admiration. 

Notwithstanding  that  ho  was  no  older 
than  herself,  and  quite  incapable  of  bring- 
ing her  either  a  marriage  settlement  or  Con- 
gressional appropriation,  she  talked  with 
him  for  more  than  linlf  an  hour.  She  quite 
won  the  heart  of  this  simple  and  chivalrous 
youngster,  and  from  that  time  forward  he 


43 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


■was  ready  to  fight  any  one  ■nho  spoke  ill  of 
lier. 

Nest  came  Clay  Beauman,  another  South- 
erner from  farther  "West,  whom  she  had 
caught  a  glimpse  of  two  days  before  in  the 
cars,  and.  of  whom  she  had  tliought  that  ho 
was  "  too  handsome  for  a  man."  He  was 
an  Apollo,  with  statuesque  features,  a  clear 
olive  complexion,  curling  masses  of  hlack 
hair,  a  perfect  figure,  the  bearing  of  a  D'Or- 
say,  and  the  toilet  of  a  Brummel. 

As  Josie  stared  at  him,  she  said,  to  her- 
self, with  a  smile,  "Actually,  he  is  prettier 
than  I  am  I" 

Beauman  was,  of  course,  well  used  to  fem- 
iuiue  admiration.  At  that  very  time  there 
were  i;)robably  fifty  women  in  Washington 
who  were  more  or  less  cracked  about  him, 
and  who  took  every  decorous  chance  to  let 
him  know  it.  But,  for  all  that,  Josie  was 
able  to  interest  him,  and  to  keep  him  by  her 
for  many  minutes.  "What  with  her  clever- 
ness in  small  talk,  and  her  risky  audacity 
in  little  airs  and  signs  of  iireference,  and  the 
half-meant,  half-unconscious  sentimentality 
of  her  sjiarkling  eyes,  she  was  dangerously 
alluring,  even  to  a  spoiled  favorite. 

Before  Beauman  left  her,  he  had  got  an 
idea  that  she  was  in  love  with  him,  and  that 
he  was  on  the  verge  of  falling  in  love  with 
her. 

"By  Jove!  that's  an  alarming  little  thing," 
he  took  the  opportunity  to  confide  to  Brad- 
ford, who  had  just  come  up.  "  She  has  tal- 
ent enough  to  be  a  second  Catherine  of  Eus- 
sia." 

"  It  isn't  exactly  a  pleasant  comparison," 
was  Bradford's  answer. 

"And  yet  it  may  be  an  apt  one,"  said  Beau- 
man, pensively.  "  By  Jove  !  there  is  a  great 
deal  in  her,  whatever  it  may  be." 

Bradford,  it  must  be  understood,  had  long 
since  delivered  Josie's  message  to  her  rela- 
tives. "When  he  found  them,  Mrs.  Murray 
was  still  toiling  feebly  through  the  crowd, 
supported  on  one  side  by  her  weary  and  tot- 
tering husband,  and  on  the  other  by  the  col- 
onel. 

"  Yes,  yes,  we  must  go,  Huldah,"  insisted 
the  rector,  pettishly.  "  You  are  tired  out, 
and  ought  to  have  gone  long  since.  I  am 
glad  my  niece  has  got  word  to  us  at  last. 
We  are  very  much  obliged  to  you,  Mr.  Brad- 
ford." 

"  I  am  sorry  I  could  not  find  you  earlier," 
observed  Bradford,  charitablj^  willing  to  give 
the  impression  that  Josie  had  seut  him  to 
them  long  since. 

"  Oh,  she  has  done  as  well  as  she  could," 
interposed  Mrs.  Murray,  who  was  a  thorough 
lady  at  heart.  "  How  could  she  help  getting 
lost  iu  this  jam  ?  Mr.  Bradford,  you  are  very 
kind;  but  couldn't  you  bring  her  to  us  ?" 

"  I  might — in  time,"  ho  hesitated.  Know- 
ing Josie  pretty  well,  ho  judged  her  capable 
of  evadiug  the  bringing,  aud  then  these  old 


people  would  have  another  season  of  weary 
waiting. 

"No,  Huldah!"  declared  the  rector,  who 
was  ready  to  cry  as  he  gazed  at  the  lassi- 
tude iu  his  wife's  wrinkled  face ;  "  I  insist 
upon  your  getting  home  at  once.  The  car- 
riage can  come  back  for  Josephine.  Juliau 
can  stay  for  her.     Any  body  but  you." 

"  No  need,  colonel,"  said  Bradford.  "  I 
promise  you  that  I  will  see  your  niece  home 
iu  Mrs.  Warden's  carriage." 

At  last  he  induced  them  all  three  to 
depart,  aud  made  his  way  back  to  his  own 
party. 

At  last,  too,  long  after  the  flight  of  the 
Murrays,  and  quite  a  while  after  midnight, 
the  swarms  of  the  reception  began  to  break 
up,  and  Mrs.  Warden  hinted  of  home. 

"I  am  ready,"  answered  Josie,  who  had 
recovered  the  chairman  of  the  Circulating 
Medium  Committee,  aud  was  now  leaning 
on  his  plump  arm.  "  Mr.  Hollowbread  saj's 
that  we  must  go  if  we  don't  want  to  get 
caught  in  the  crowd  and  kept  here  ever  so 
long ;  aud  you  wouldn't  like  to  be  kept  here 
with  me  ever  so  long,  would  you,  Mr.  Hol- 
lowbread ?"  she  asked,  with  a  sort  of  girlish 
sauciness. 

The  old  beau  was  jaded  enough  to  want 
to  say  that  he  would  like  to  get  home  as 
quickly  as  possible  ;  but,  being  habitually 
gallant,  and,  moreover,  anxious  not  to  be 
considered  elderly,  and,  furthermore,  very 
much  smitten  with  this  lovely  widow,  he 
strenuously  affirmed  that  he  would  rejoice 
to  make  a  night  of  it.  Meanwhile  he  kept 
sliding  on  toward  the  point  of  egress  as  rap- 
idly as  the  eddying  crowd  would  let  him. 

At  this  moment  Calhoun  Clavers  came  up 
with  the  information  that  the  press  arouud 
the  door  was  frightful. 

"It  will  need  a  cavalier  to  every  lady," 
he  added,  wistfully.  "  I  wish  I  could  bo  of 
service." 

"  You  may  oblige  me  with  your  arm,  Mr. 
Clavers,"  said  cunning  Mrs.  AVarden,  who 
wanted  to  leave  her  daughter  as  much  alone 
as  possible  with  Bradford. 

And  now  came  a  wrestle  which  was  real- 
ly tremendous,  almost  to  the  endangering 
of  life.  The  enormous  outer  hall  was  jiack- 
ed  with  thousands  of  people,  all  pushing  or 
pushed  iu  various  directions,  some  toward 
the  ladies'  waiting-room,  some  toward  the 
masculine  ditto,  aud  some  toward  the  great 
door. 

This  multitudinous  variety  of  aim  led  to 
a  vast  Tinity  of  deadlock.  It  seemed  as  if 
the  crowd  had  so  tangled  itself  in  knots  that 
it  would  never  get  unraveled.  There  Avas  a 
huge  hum  of  amusement,  or  alarm,  or  anger, 
frequent  bursts  of  hysterical  laughter,  occa- 
sional female  shrieks,  and  some  manly  swear- 
ing. 

It  cost  a  struggle  of  fifteen  or  twenty  min- 
utes to  get  the  ladiea  of  our  party  to  the 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


49 


room  wliicli  held  their  cloukings,  and  to 
force  them  into  it.  Thou  the  three  uieu 
slowly  fought  their  way  to  the  male  drcss- 
iug-room,  with  the  hope  of  obtaiuiug  their 
own  outward  garniture. 

They  uiiglit  as  well- have  tried  to  get  the 
moon  and  the  seven  stars.  There  were  at 
least  a  thousand  masculine  maniacs  there, 
yelling  out  numbers,  signaling  for  surtouts 
and  hats,  pushing  aiul  hauling,  and  actual]y_ 
climbing  on  each  other's  backs. 

"Wo  shall  have  to  give  it  up,"  gasped 
Hollowbread,  Avhoso  breadth  of  beam  and 
roundness  of  model  put  him  at  a  great  dis- 
advantage. Even  the  two  younger  men 
were  soon  kneaded  and  hustled  into  the 
same  opinion ;  and,  all  three  hatless  and 
cloakless,  they  sculUed  their  way  back  to 
their  ladies.  It  was  no  easy  matter  to  fmd 
them,  and  it  was  still  harder  to  escort  them 
anywhere.  Obviously  there  was  no  present 
I)Ossibility  of  getting  women  out  of  the  front 
door,  through  that  huge  drift  and  pack  of 
desperate  men  who  were  making  their  suf- 
fering exit. 

"They  are  jnmping  from  the  windows," 
called  Josie  Murray,  all  alive  with  the  ex- 
citement of  the  occasion,  and  her  young  eyes 
lighted  up  with  a  gayety  which  seemed  al- 
most wicked  to  elderly  and  timorous  peo- 
lile.  "I  am  cheering  up  Mrs.  Warden  and 
Belle  to  jump.  Oh,  Mr.  Hollowbread !  if  you 
will  get  out  and  stand  under  the  window,  I 
will  jump  down  to  you.  It  will  be  such  an 
adventure!     Do  go!" 

As  a  reflective  soul  might  infer,  Mr.  Hol- 
lowbread was  considerably  alarmed  by  this 
romantic  proposition.  Jump  out  of  a  win- 
dow into  his  arms,  and,  of  course,  square 
upon  his  broad  waistcoat !  She  might  lame 
him  for  life ;  she  might  knock  the  breath 
out  of  eveu  his  vast  body;  she  might  be 
the  death  of  him.  He  would  have  argued 
against  the  mad  proposition  ;  he  would  have 
been  more  delighted  thau  ever  before  in  his 
life  to  speak  against  time;  but  before  he 
could  begin  his  oration,  Josie  withdrew  from 
the  door-way,  and  was  seen  hastening  toward 
the  Wardens. 

"  But,  Mrs.  Murray !''  he  shouted  in  a  voice 
of  desperation,  which  she  did  not  or  would 
not  hear.  "  My  God,  what  a  notion  !  It's 
perfect  lunacy.     I  won't  go." 

"  Come  along,"  laughed  Bradford,  towing 
and  tugging  him  by  the  arm.  "  I  don't  see 
any  other  way,  unless  we  wait  an  hour  or 
two.  Let  Clavers  stay  here  and  watch 
events  inside." 

"  I'll  stay  inside  myself,"  declared  Mr.  Hol- 
lowbread, Avho,  it  will  be  remembered,  had 
neither  hat  nor  overcoat. 

But  Bradford  was  inexorable  with  the  old 
beau,  whose  mature  gallautrieshe,  of  course, 
laughed  at  in  his  soul^  as  young  men  always 
do  laugh  at  the  amative  pranks  of  reverend 
seniors. 


"I  don't  see  how  we  can  disobey  Mrs. 
Murray,"  he  said.  "  If  you  are  a  man,  fol- 
low me." 

Very  unwillingly  the  chairman  of  tlie  Cir- 
culating Medium  Committee  did  follow, 
plunging  into  a  ])rolonged  rough-and-tumble 
which  scarcely  left  wind  enough  in  him  for 
a  hiccough,  and  emerging  from  it  so  heated 
with  exercise  that  he  was  almost  glad  he 
had  no  overcoat,  although  it  was  a  stormy 
night,  and  the  cutting  wind  played  remorse- 
lessly with  his  swallow-tail.  The  scene  out- 
side was  little  less  bewildering  and  alarming 
than  the  one  inside.  There  was  a  monstrous 
crowd;  people  in  hundreds  were  pouring 
away;  others  were  vainly  trying  to  force  a 
re-entry  into  the  building;  gentlemen  were 
yelling  for  their  coachmen,  and  coachmen 
howling  for  their  gentlemen  ;  it  was  a  tur- 
moil and  an  uproar  as  of  a  conflagration,  or 
a  street  revolution.  The  few  policemen 
present  could  do  nothing  to  restore  order, 
although  they  bustled  and  hustled  and  bawl- 
ed manfully.  Meantime  the  wind  blew  tom- 
ahawks ;  the  air  was  full  of  small,  rustling, 
keen,  needle-like  arrows  of  snow  ;  it  was  un- 
comfortable to  stand,  and  also,  as  Mr.  Hol- 
lowbread reflected,  dangerous. 

"I  shall  catch  rheumatism,  consumption, 
and — -every  thing !"  he  groaned,  as  he  tried 
vainly  to  button  his  party  coat  over  his 
white  vest. 

"  Come  along !"  shouted  Bradford.  "  There 
is  Mrs.  Murray  standing  in  the  window." 

"  Oh,  it's  all  very  well  to  say  come  along," 
grunted  Mr.  Hollowbread,  freeing  himself 
with  a  push  from  a  black  boy  Avho  had  just 
run  into  his  stomach.  "  But  with  so  many 
blasted  people  about—" 

He  was  wrathful  with  the  blundering  ne- 
gro, with  the  light-footed  Bradford,  with  the 
weather,  the  hurry,  and  every  thing.  But 
he  ran  on,  nevertheless;  slipping  wildly  in 
a  small  drift  of  the  dry,  granulated  snow; 
then  taking  a  gallant  slide  across  a  brief 
glade  of  thin  ice ;  and  at  last  halting  out  of 
breath  beneath  a  window  full  of  crinoline. 


CHAPTER  XIV. 

THE   HEROIC    GYMNASTICS    OF    MR.   HOLLOW- 
BREAD. 

W^HILE  the  two  Congressmen  roughed  it 
outside,  the  three  ladies  held  an  animated 
and  eveu  excited  discussion  within,  as  to 
wliether  they  should  jump  out  or  wait  a 
while  and  walk  out. 

"  There  arc  ladies  going  out  by  the  door," 
asserted  Belle,  a  mature  creature  for  nine- 
teen, and  little  given  to  pranks.  "I  would 
rather  stay  here  an  hour  than  dance  out  of 
a  window.     It  is  simply  ridiculous!" 

"But  just  think  of  those  poor  men  stand- 
ing there  in  the  cold !"  urged  Josie.     "  I  sent 


50 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


Mr.  Hollowljread  out  to  catch  me,  antl  I  re- 
allj'  must  keep  faith  with  him." 

Theu  Mrs.  Warden,  -who  was  naturally  of 
a  harum-scarum  disi^ositiou,  aud  liked  still 
to  do  a  youthful  deed  now  aud  theu,  inter- 
fered ou  Mrs.  Murray's  side. 

"My  dear,  venerahle  daughter,  you  can 
try  it  hy  the  door  with  Mr.  Clavers,"  she 
laughed.  "We  young  people — Josie  aud  I 
— will  jump.  It  will  he  worth  telling  of 
some  day." 

"  I  tcish  you  wouldn't !"  begged  Belle, 
ashamed  of  her  mother's  hoidenism,  as  she 
frequently  was.  But  her  pleadiug  weut  for 
uaught,  aud  at  last,  iu  a  downright,  prim, 
respectable  pet,  she  took  Clavers's  arm  and 
sailed  away. 

Tims,  when  the  two  outside  adventurers 
arrived  beneath  that  window-disiilay  of  mil- 
linery and  haberdashery,  they  beheld  in  it 
the  lithe,  light  iigure  and  giggling  face  of 
Mrs.  Murray,  and  behind  it  the  dark  visage, 
also  "  laughter-stirred,"  of  Mrs.  Warden. 

"Ah,  there  you  are,  Mr.  Hollowbread !" 
screamed  Josie.  "Are  you  ready?  Can 
you  do  it !" 

She  had  the  skirts  of  her  dress  twisted 
about  her  dexterously  and  decorously,  yet 
nevertheless  she  exposed  a  line  or  two  of 
beauty  which  the  old  beau  had  never  seen 
before,  and  which  he  could  not  help  judging 
as  very  rare  in  their  perfection.  Under  sucli 
circumstances,  how  could  a  man  of  artistic 
nature  fail  to  stretch  forth  his  hands  and 
declare  that  he  could  do  it?  Moreover,  the 
height  was  no  great  affair,  after  all ;  it  did 
not  appear  to  him  to  be  more  than  six  feet. 
So  he  elbowed  his  way  through  a  group 
which  stood  beneath  the  window,  signed 
aside  a  tall  policeman  who  offered  to  relieve 
him  of  his  venture,  stretched  upward  his 
pulpy  hands,  and  called,  "  Jump !" 

With  a  scream  which  was  half  laughter 
and  half  hysterical  fright,  Josie  leajied  out 
like  a  little  avalanche  of  draperies,  and  de- 
scended, fluttering  and  spreading,  full  upon 
the  Congressional  bosom.  But  she  was  not 
so  light  as  she  looked ;  there  was  a  good, 
plumping  nine  stone  or  so  of  her;  aud,  let- 
ting herself  drive  in  that  way,  she  knocked 
her  gallant  as  flat  as  a  flounder. 

Of  course  Mr.  Hollowbread,  much  as  he 
might  have  desired  a  collision  of  this  roman- 
tic sort,  suffered  a  good  deal  by  it.  In  the 
hrst  iilace,  it  beat  out  of  him  pretty  nearly 
all  the  breath  that  had  been  left  in  him  bj' 
his  previous  gymnastics  iu  the  way  of  wrest- 
ling and  running.  In  the  second  place,  the 
snow  just  al)Out  there  had  been  trampled  to 
a  damp  sludge  by  many  feet,  so  that,  before 
he  could  extricate  himself  from  his  lovely  in- 
cubus, at  least  a  square  cubit  of  his  raiment 
had  been  wet  through.  He  felt  very  much 
as  if  a  giant  had  set  him  down  violently  in 
a  humid  mixture  prepared  for  freezing  pur- 
poses. 


Nevertheless,  he  strove  to  bear  himself 
bravely,  and  to  treat  the  adventure  as  a  good 
joke.  His  first  words — a  quotation  from 
Daniel  Webster's  famous  Rochester  speech — 
these  heroic  and  would-be  jovial  first  words 
were: 

"  Two  hundred  feet  direct  fall !" 

Before  this  noble  suflerer  could  rise,  Mrs. 
Warden  had  alighted,  throwing  herself  so 
fairly  as  to  be  caught  by  the  athletic  Brad- 
ford without  an  overthrow,  and  doing  no 
other  damage  than  to  dig  her  fan  smartly 
into  the  face  of  a  passing  negro. 

"Hi!  yah!"  shouted  the  freedman.  "'Pears 
to  me  women's  flyin'  rouu'  yere  mighty  loose." 
Then,  turning  to  Mr.  Hollowbread,  he  added : 
"  I  say,  boss,  has  you  got  any  mo'  of  'em  to 
cotch  ?  If  you  has,  I'll  cotch  em  fur  you  fur 
a  quartah  apiece." 

"  Get  out  of  the  way,  fellow !"  responded 
our  imblic  functionary,  with  pardonable  pet- 
ulance. "  Mrs.  Murray,  I  hope  you  are  not 
hurt  ?" 

"Not  a  bit,"  answered  Josie,  taking  his 
arm.  "But  oh,  how  we  did  come  down!" 
she  added,  bursting  iuto  a  scream  of  laugh- 
ter, pardonable  because  spasmodic  and  irre- 
pressible. 

Mr.  Hollowbread  looked  at  her  with  a 
smile  which  had  very  little  glee  iu  it,  like  the 
puckered  grimace  which  one  may  observe  on 
the  face  of  a  very  young  baby.  Conscious 
of  cold  chills  running  down  his  back  ;  aware 
of  a  more  than  soggy  spot  in  his  vesture,  and 
saying  to  himself  that  he  hoped  it  would  not 
freeze  ;  possibly  also  a  little  shaken  aud  con- 
fused by  his  late  thump ;  he  could  not  at 
once  be  heartily  merry.  It  was  not  until 
they  had  been  pushed  against  each  other  two 
or  three  times  by  other  eager  wayfarers  that 
he  recovered  his  spirits. 

"  But  oh,  it  was  too  bad  to  knock  you 
down,"  she  added,  noting  his  silence,  and  fear- 
ing that  he  was  annoyed.  "  I  was  shameful- 
ly clumsy.     I  am  so  sorry  !" 

"'  I  am  not  sorry  at  all,"  panted  Mr.  Hol- 
lowbread, and  he  energetically  meant  it,  not- 
withstanding that  plaster  of  dampness.  "  I 
should  like  to  be  knocked  down  iu  that  style 
every  day." 

"  It  would  be  the  death  of  us,  Mr.  Hollow- 
bread !" 

"It  would  be  a  delightful  death  to  me, 
Mrs.  Murray !" 

"  It  couldn't  go  ou  more  than  a  week 
without  j)roduciug  a  quarrel,  Mr.  Hollow- 
bread." 

"  Never  on  my  part,  Mrs.  Murray." 

"  Besides,  people  would  talk  about  it,  Mr. 
Hollowbread." 

"  We  must  despise  a  censorious  world,  Mrs. 
Murray." 

"  I  must  refer  you  to  my  uncle,  Mr.  Hol- 
lowbread." 

Tlio  Congressman  burst  out  laughing,  in 
approval  of  her  promptness  aud  pertuess. 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


51 


Even  iu  this  sort  of  frcc-aiul-casy  badinage 
ho  had  to  admit  that  sho  was  moro  than  a 
match  for  him,  notwithstanding  his  largo  ex- 
pericuco  in  talk  of  that  sort.  Sho  was  his  su- 
perior in  every  thing;  sho  was  a  woiulerfnl 
young  woman ;  sho  was  dazzling  and  sho  was 
fascinating.  Notwithstanding  his  laughter, 
and  notwithstanding  his  unpleasant  con- 
sciousness of  that  freezing  and  stiffening 
poultice  which  clung  to  him,  ho  was  in  a 
.seriously  tender  state  of  mind  with  regard 
to  this  little  lady. 

Ho  was,  wo  must  repeat,  an  old  beau; 
that  is  to  say,  ho  had  had  a  great  number  of 
flirtations  and  superficial  love  scrapes;  but 
it  must  bo  understood  to  his  credit  that  he 
had  also  had  one  or  two  heart  affairs  of  an 
almost  tragical  earnestness;  iu  short,  ho  was 
ono  of  those  venerable  coquettes  who  can 
really  fall  iu  love.  His  passions  and  affec- 
tions had  been  hard  used  and  even  shame- 
fully abused,  but  it  is  none  the  less  true  that 
they  were  honestly  puissant. 

Well,  after  a  long  search  the  Warden 
vehicle  was  discovered ;  then  Bello  Warden 
and  Clavers  appeared,  having  forced  an  exit 
by  way  of  the  door;  the  ladies  were  seat- 
ed and  Bradford  offered  the  vacant  i)lace  to 
Hollowbread. 

"No — a  thousand  thanks — but  no  such 
injustice,"  replied  the  latter,  who  would  have 
liked  to  go  with  Mrs.  Murray,  but  dared  not 
ride  without  his  overcoat.  "The  honor  is 
yours  by  right.     Farewell,  ladies." 

Accompanied  by  Clavers,  he  now  made  a 
desperate  assault  upon  the  still  swarming 
portal  of  tho  Treasury,  and  pushed  ou 
through  a  seemingly  undiminished  crowd  to 
the  masculine  cloak  -  room.  All  the  way 
they  came  upon  lamentable  cases  of  desti- 
tution and  sufferiug.  Ono  gentleman,  as 
respectably  bald  as  the  prophet  Elijah,  had 
no  other  covering  to  his  intellectual  pate 
than  his  wife's  mite  of  a  lace  handkerchief, 
which  he  held  ou  with  one  hand  while  he 
sustained  his  better  half  with  the  other. 
'  Senator  Pickens  Eigdon  was  swearing  his 
way  homeward  iu  an  overcoat  so  much  too 
small  for  him  that  he  could  only  get  it  over 
one  arm  and  shoulder.  Scarcely  any  body 
could  find  his  carriage;  hundreds  of  ladies 
were  footing  it  through  the  snow  in  their 
slippers ;  and  only  too  many  of  them  had 
lost  their  furs  and  pelisses. 

Honest  John  Vane,  the  popular  member 
from  Slowburgh,  was  carrying  his  hand- 
some, full-sized  wife  iu  his  arms,  while  his 
friend  and  her  admirer.  Senator  Ironman, 
ran  ahead  of  them  bareheaded,  bawling 
vainly  for  his  coachman.  It  seemed  every 
moment  possible  to  meetiEneas  bearing  An- 
chises  on  his  pious  back. 

lusido  there  were  similar  cases  of  serio- 
comic deprivation  and  misery.  Ladies,  worn 
out  with  fatigue  and  afraid  to  face  the  win- 
ter wind  uncovered,  had  thrown  themselves 


on  tho  uncharitable,  bare  floors,  awaiting  a 
chance  to  find  their  wrappings. 

In  the  gentlemen's  cloak-room  there  were 
a  fearful  jam,  turmoil,  uproar,  and  scuilling. 
At  least  lifteen  hundred  male  maniacs  were 
engaged  in  this  riot.  Every  one  of  them 
either  had  no  hat  and  overcoat,  or  else  had 
somebody  else's  hat  and  overcoat,  and  was 
raving  about  it.  The  checks  were  lost,  the 
servitors  were  clean  confounded  and  dement- 
ed, and  the  floors  were  strewed  with  rejected 
garments. 

Not  by  any  dint  of  shouting,  gesturing, 
and  showing  his  number  in  all  directions, 
could  Mr.  Hollowbread  obtain  his  proper 
caparisons.  Seeing  Squire  Nancy  Apple- 
yard  in  the  main  hall,  marching  off  with  a 
beaver  sack-coat  which  looked  to  him  like 
his  own,  he  rushed  out  and  claimed  it  iu 
quite  a  hot  argument.  Squire  Nancy  event- 
ually "peeled,"  exhibited  her  name  on  the 
lining  of  the  garment,  and  strode  away  in 
triumph. 

Then  Mr.  Hollowbread  returned,  grum- 
bling, to  tho  i)andemonium  of  confounded 
wardrobes,  and  spent  half  an  hour  quite 
uselessly  in  quarreling  over  his  grievances. 
Meantime  many  wiser  gentlemen  picked  up 
what  they  could  find,  and  made  off  with  it, 
leaving  a  very  ];)Oor  choice  for  the  fastidious, 
the  conscientious,  and  the  otherwise  un- 
ready. 

It  was  fully  two  o'clock  in  the  morning 
when  our  veteran  legislator  walked  home, 
with  his  dyed  hair  blowing  in  the  wind,  and 
with  a  seedy,  old-fashioned,  green  surtout 
on,  which  could  not  possibly  be  strained  to 
button  in  front,  while  the  two  buttons  be- 
hind were  high  up  his  broad  loins,  as  if  they 
were  bent  on  riding  pickapack.  Yet  his 
mind  ran  upon  Mrs.  Josephine  Murray  quite 
as  much  as  upon  his  own  distresses  and 
perils. 

"That  little  woman  will  be  the  death  of 
me,"  he  said  to  himself  more  than  once ;  and 
fully  as  often  he  added,  "  But  isn't  she  pro- 
digiously, amazingly  fiiscinating!" 

He  was  already  pretty  thoroughly  be- 
witched with  her.  Her  lively  talk,  her  daz- 
zling and  yet  tender  eyes,  her  trim  figure 
and  graceful  carriage,  her  adventurous  and 
yet  cultivated  manner,  had  all  impressed 
him  deeply.  Then  such  a  revelation  of 
grace  and  statuesque  beauty  as  she  had  been 
when  she  stood  in  the  window,  with  her 
drapery  twisted  about  her  in  that  auda- 
cious, Grecian  way!  But  it  was  chiefly  the 
soft,  irresistible  thump  of  that  flying  col- 
lision which  had  done  the  business  for  him. 
How  enchanting  and  intoxicating  the  recol- 
lection of  it  was  to  tho  susceptible  old  flirt 
and  volafje  ! 

Once  he  actually  halted  for  half  a  minute, 
while  the  satirical  wind  jilayed  the  mis- 
chief with  his  law-giving  sconce,  to  think 
it  all  over.     There  he  was^  admiring  her ; 


52 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


there  slie  was,  laugliing,  holding  out  her 
hauds,  aud  calliug  "  Catch  me !"  then  down 
she  came  like  lightning,  a  little,  solid,  love- 
ly, capsizing  blessing! 

He  sighed  softly,  shivered  to  the  back- 
bone, cursed  the  overcoat  that  would  not 
button,  and  hastened  onward. 

Meantime  Josie  Murray,  far  from  think- 
ing about  him,  was  fast  asleep.  Reaching 
home  about  one,  she  was  let  in  by  a  smirk- 
ing mulatto  handmaiden,  who  had  been 
slumbering  for  an  hour  or  two  on  the  rug  in 
front  of  the  parlor-grate,  and  who  was  fuUy 
repaid  for  her  slight  hardshiiJ  by  an  inspec- 
tion of  the  line  raiment  of  the  "  little  lady." 

"I  am  afraid  I  kept  my  aunt  and  uncle 
up  too  long,  Sarah,"  said  Josie,  while  she 
shook  herself  out  before  a  mirror. 

"  Oh,  laws !  Miss  Murray,  they's  been  abed 
this  three  hours,"  giggled  Sarah.  "  Theij 
don't  set  up  for  nobody  nor  nothiu'.  Ef 
'twas  gwine  ter  be  the  resurrection,  they'd 
go  to  bed  all  the  same.  Ton  hain't  worrited 
'em  to  speak  of.  I'll  make  it  all  right  with 
the  ole  folks.  I'll  tell  'em  some  thin'  or 
'nother." 

"But,  Sarah,  there  was  really  an  awful 
crowd,  and  I  couldn't  get  home  a  minute 
sooner.     You  must  tell  them  so." 

"Of  co'se,  you  couldn't  git  home  no  soon- 
er, an'  hadn't  oughter.  Young  folks  has  to 
have  some  fun  in  life,  I  reckon.  Don't  you 
be  a  bit  skeered  'bout  the  i)atriarchs.  I'll 
tis  'em." 

When  Josie  met  her  relatives  next  morn- 
ing, they  were  so  far  from  murmuring  against 
her  late  re-entry,  that  they  congratulated 
her  on  getting  home  at  all. 

"  What  a  time  you  must  have  had !"  ex- 
claimed Mrs.  Murray.  "  Sarah  says  millions 
of  people  walked  the  streets  bareheaded  till 
daylight.  Of  course,  when  she  says  mill- 
ions, she  means  hundreds.  But  there  must 
have  been  a  great  many  shut  out." 

"  Such  a  crowd !"  said  Josie.  "  I  don't  be- 
lieve, uncle,  that  there  was  ever  any  thing 
like  it,  except  when  the  animals  went  into 
the  ark,"  she  added,  knowing  that  allusions 
to  Scrijiture  i^leased  her  reverend  relative, 

"It  gives  one  a  new  idea  of  the  tribula- 
tions oi^  Noah,"  smiled  the  rector.  "  I  thought 
of  bulls  of  Bashan,  and  beasts  at  Ephesus, 
and  the  rabble  of  Vanity  Fair." 

"  Vanity  Fair !"  litanied  Mrs.  Murray. 

"  If  we  had  been  animals  we  should  have 
been  better  off." 

"Better  off!"  emphasized  and  nodded  the 
old  lady. 

"  We,  at  least,  shouldn't  have  trodden  so 
much  on  each  other's  toes." 

"  Trodden  on  each  other's  toes,"  giggled 
his  respondent. 

"  I  never  before  felt  a  desire  for  hoofs,  not 
to  mention  horns." 

"Not  to  mention  horns,"  added  the  wife, 
with  excitement. 


"  There  was  a  man  behind  me  who  put  me 
in  mind  of  the  beast  in  Revelation  that  but- 
ted four  ways,  aud  knocked  down  the  stars 
of  heaven.  It  seemed  to  me  we  were  all  do- 
ing that." 

"  Oh,  now,  Mr.  Murray  !"  protested  the  old 
lady,  waking  up  to  his  meaning,  and  jiro- 
testing  against  it ;  "  when  you  get  agoing, 
j'ou  are  too  severe.  Society  is  society,  and 
of  course  it  has  its  inconveniences,  but  we 
must  have  it." 

"  So  I  think,  aunt,"  said  Josie.  "  The  stars 
of  heaven  are  safe,  even  though  we  do  go  to 
liarties." 

"  But  wasn't  it  wonderful  that  we  should 
never  be  able  even  to  set  eyes  on  you  after 
we  lost  you !"  cried  the  old  lady,  throwing 
up  her  wrinkled  hands  over  the  surprising 
fact. 

"Wonderful!"  innocently  assented  Josie. 
"  I  would  have  given  all  my  old  shoes  to  find 
you,"  she  added,  without  much  exaggeration ; 
for  she  set  small  store  by  old  things,  and  liked 
new  ones  vastly  better. 

"  Well,  what  did  you  see  and  hear  ?"  asked 
Mrs.  Murray,  greedy  for  something  to  keep 
her  mind  awake,  and  to  enter  in  her  diary. 

Thereupon  our  licroine  rehearsed  one  of 
her  incomparable  narratives,  sketching  with 
wonderful  minuteness  and  picturesqueness 
and  vivacity  the  events  of  the  evening,  and 
making  herself  prodigiously  interesting  and 
amusing,  although  she  said  nothing  of  her 
flirtations. 

Such  a  picture  did  she  produce  of  her  jump 
from  the  window,  and  her  flooring  of  that 
full-bodied  Hollowbread,  that  her  aunt  near- 
ly had  a  fit  with  laughing. 

"  Mr.  Hollowbread !"  she  presently  repeat- 
ed, easily  recalling  a  name  which  she  had 
in  her  diary,  "  I  have  heard  of  Mi\  Hollow- 
bread somewhere." 

"  It's  the  same  man,  aunt,  who  came  with 
me  from  the  station." 

"  Oh,  yes,  I  recollect,"  hastily  answered 
Mrs.  Murray,  eager  to  hide  the  vagueness  of 
her  memory.  "  Yes,  it  was  Mr.  Hollowbread. 
But  did  he  speak  to  you  ?"  she  asked,  with 
goggling  eyes. 

"  He  is  a  friend  of  the  Wardens.  We  walk- 
ed together  for  a  while." 

"A — friend — of— the — Wardens,"  repeat- 
ed the  rector,  enunciating  very  slowly  and 
distinctlj",  the  better  to  impress  this  new 
fiict  on  an  understanding  which  was  a  little 
hard  of  hearing. 

"  Oh,  yes — a  friend  of  the  Wardens,"  jerk- 
ed out  the  old  lady,  getting  the  matter  in 
hand.  "  Well,  I  dare  say  he  is  a  verj'  re- 
spectable man." 

"  I  ventured  to  ask  him  to  call,  he  lias  been 
so  polite  to  me,  and  suffered  so  much  on  my 
account,"  laughed  Josie. 

"  You  asked  him  to  call  V  I  am  glad  of 
it,"  giggled  Mrs.  Murray.  "  I  should  like  to 
look  at  him." 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


53 


"Mr.  Bradford  is  goins  to  call,  too.  Mr. 
Bradford  is  a  distinguished  Congressmau, 
aud  a  very  old  fricud  of  niiue." 

" Mr.  Bradford !     Is  lie?" 

And  down  went  another  name  and  fact 
on  the  old  lady's  memory,  to  be  transferred 
to  her  diary. 

"And  Mr.  Drummoml  will  be  here  to-day. 
Mr.  Drummond  is  tho  member  from  our  dis- 
trict ;  and,  of  course,  I  bad  to  bo  polite  to 
liim." 

"  Mr.  Drummond  ? — the  member  for  your 
district  ?  I  thought  you  said  Mr.  Bradford 
was — something  or  other." 

Tho  torrent  of  facts  was  flowing  quite  too 
rapidly  to  be  contained  by  tho  decaying 
dikes  of  this  ancient  intellect. 

"'  Mr.  Bradford  is  her  old  friend,  but  Mr. 
Drummond  is  the  member  for  her  district," 
explained  the  everlastingly  ijatieut  aud  af- 
fectionate rector. 

"  Oh,  I  see  now !"  answered  the  old  lady, 
who  seemed  always  to  comprehend  without 
difficulty  what  was  said  to  her  by  her  hus- 
band, so  much  dill  habit  and  love  quicken 
her  spirit. 

Aud  so  the  morning  passed  very  pleasant- 
ly in  the  Murray  fjimily,  notwithstanding 
the  hardships  aud  grievances  of  tho  iirevi- 
ous  evening. 

Ou  the  whole,  considering  how  many  am- 
atory scalps  Josie  had  taken  at  the  recep- 
tion, how  many  Congressmen  she  had  more 
or  less  interested  in  her  claim,  and  what  a 
favorite  she  had  become  with  her  respecta- 
ble relatives,  it  must  be  conceded  that  her 
outlook  in  Washington  was  a  promising  oue. 


CHAPTER  XV. 

f   DELUDING  AN  OLD  COXGRESSMAX. 

JosiE,  we  remember,  was  to  see  Mr.  Hol- 
lowbread  at  twelve,  Mr.  Drunnnoud  at  one, 
aud  Mr.  Bradford  at  three. 

AVe  can  judge  what  an  impression  she  had 
made  upon  these  three  distinguished  legis- 
lators by  the  extraordinary  fact  that  each 
one  of  them  kept  his  appointment,  aud  was 
even  scrupulously  xmuctual  as  to  time.  Mr. 
HoUowbread,  for  instance,  looked  anxious- 
ly at  his  watch  on  heaving  iu  sight  of  the 
house,  aud  then  pushed  forward  at  such  a 
killing  pace,  that  when  he  planted  his  arc- 
tic shoes  on  the  Murray  door-mat,  he  was  in 
au  awkwardly  short-winded,  loud-breathing 
state,  and  felt  obliged  to  rest  a  moment  be- 
fore ringing  the  bell. 

For  this  sharp  dash  he  would  have  been 
pleased  to  reward  himself  instantly  with  a 
little  courtship  ;  but  Josie  wanted  to  linish 
with  him  and  get  him  out  of  tho  house  be- 
fore Mr.  Druumioud  should  come  ;  so  she 
hastily  produced  her  claim  documents,  and 
set  him  to  work  on  them.     Seeing  that  she 


"meant  business,"  he  mounted  his  eyeglass- 
es astride  his  noble  Roman  nose,  and  care- 
fully read  the  i>apers  througli,  really  giving 
his  mind  to  them.  It  was  a  good  mind  yet ; 
it  could,  when  resolutely  spurred,  do  a  great 
deal  of  strenuous  work  ;  ami  in  twenty  min- 
utes he  had  a  suflicient  grasp  of  tiio  case  t<> 
pass  intelligent  judgment  upon  it. 

"There  is  no  doubt  that  you  have  what 
claim  there  is,"  he  said,  at  last,  in  a  practical, 
positive,  clear-headed  way  which  made  him 
appear  (piito  solidly  respectable.  "You  are 
the  sole  heir  of  your  late  husband,  Mr.  Au- 
gustus Murray,  as  appears  Ijy  his  will." 

Here  Josie  tliought  that  she  had  probably 
better  put  her  handkerchief  to  her  eyes,  but 
ou  an  instant's  reflection,  decided  that  she 
might  as  well  omit  that  gesture,  and  did  omit 
it. 

"  His  father,"  continued  Mr.  HoUowbread, 
"  was  Henry  Murray,  the  brother  of  Julian 
and  John  Murray,  our  good  friends,  the  col- 
onel aud  rector.  Aud  their  father  was  Jarcd 
jNIurray,  who,  iu  1810,  was  tho  head  of  the 
family,  and  who  then  owned  a  large  tract 
of  laud  in  Benlah  County,  New  York.  On 
and  around  this  tract  of  laud  tho  battle  of 
Murray  Hill  was  fought,  and  during  that 
battle  the  barn  aud  so  forth  were  burned, 
either  by  our  troops  or  the  enemy.  But  it 
appears  that  in  December,  1811,  this  Jared 
Murray  died,  leaviug  his  landed  property  by 
will,  etc.,  iu  trust,  iu  four  specified  lots,  one 
each  to  his  wife  aud  to  his  three  sons.  Aud, 
furthermore,  it  appears  that  the  lot  ou  which 
stood  the  aforesaid  barn  was,  by  this  will, 
the  lu'operty  of  Henry  Murray,  the  father 
of  Augustus.  Consequently,  Henry  Murray 
and  his  heirs  and  assigns  are  the  sole  per- 
sons who  suffered  loss  by  said  conflagration, 
and  who  can  justly  claim  damages  therefor. 
That  seems  to  be  a  correct  statement  of  the 
case.     Is  it  not,  Sirs.  Murray  ?" 

She  looked  up  iu  his  face  with  an  infan- 
tile, pleading  smile,  the  smile  of  au  injured 
innocent  who  demands  restitution,  aud  sigh- 
ed, "Yes." 

Her  child-like  hand — she  really  did  not 
seem  to  know  where  it  was — had  strayed,  iu 
a  very  touching  way,  upou  his  coat-sleeve, 
and  was  gently  grasping  it.  Mr.  Hollow- 
bread  gazed  down  upou  her  with  almost  as  ^ 
much  of  astonishment  as  of  admiration  and 
atTection.  Ho  had  never  before  seen  a  so  ex- 
orbitant aud  seemingly  unscrupulous  claim- 
ant who  was  so  young  iu  years  and  had  the 
air  of  being  so  guileless.  The  defunct  barn 
had  probably  not  been  worth  a  thousand 
dollars ;  aud  here  slie  wanted  twenty  thou- 
sand— forty  thousand — eighty  thousand,  for 
it ;  wanted  any  sum  that  one  was  pleased  to 
mention.  It  was  one  of  the  most  audacious 
projects  for  swindling  Government  that  had 
ever  been  recommended  to  his  attention. 
Well,  perhaps  she  did  not  half  know  what 
she  was  about;  women  are  so  anuizingly  ig- 


54 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


uoraut  in  matters  of  mauly  business!  She 
might  think  that  every  body  did  this  sort  of 
thing,  and  that,  consequently,  it  was  quite 
projier  to  do  it.  The  Government,  he  had 
long  since  learned,  was,  in  the  opinion  of 
many  people,  a  legitimate  object  of  plunder. 

''  Is  there  any  chance  of  getting  my 
rights  ?"  she  mustered  courage  to  inquire. 

IVIi'.  HoUowbread  saw,  with  conscientious 
dismay,  that  he  must  take  her  in  earnest ; 
he  also  saw  that  he  must  decide  to  favor  her 
monstrous  suit,  or  give  up  pushing  his  own. 
He  looked  once  more  into  the  witchery  of 
her  splendid  eyes;  and  they  were  too  much 
for  his  really  respectable  legislative  honesty. 

"  Yes,  you  have  a  claim,"  he  reiieated, 
slowly,  meantime  wishing,  from  the  bottom 
of  his  heart,  that  she  had  not  the  ghost  of 
one,  or  else  had  a  great  deal  solider  one. 

"  Yes,  I  know  I  have  a  claim,"  she  laugh- 
ed, with  a  worrying  cheerfulness.  "But  how 
much  will  it  bring  me,  and  how  soon  can  it 
be. got,  and  so  on  ?" 

Mr.  HoUowbread  perceived  that  she  had 
not  the  least  idea  of  his  troubles  of  con- 
science, and  feared  that  she  looked  upon 
him  as  unbusiness-like  and  dilatory.  He 
wondered  again  if  she  were  naughtily  un- 
scrujjulous,  or  iunoceutly  ignorant ;  and  he 
remembered  an  old  doubt  of  his  as  to  wheth- 
er women  generally  are  not  less  moral,  at 
least  in  matters  of  property,  than  men ; 
whether,  indeed,  they  might  not  be  funda- 
mentally incapable  of  radical,  unimposed, 
self-sustaining  honesty.  We  must  pardon 
this  iirofane  suspicion  in  a  man  who  had  seen 
so  many  intriguing,  conscienceless,  greedy, 
pilfering  ladies  as  Mr.  HoUowbread,  and  who 
had  been  so  frequently  obliged  to  witness  or 
to  combat  their  raids  upon  the  United  States 
Treasury.  His  eiTor  consisted  in  this,  that 
be  forgot,  for  a  moment,  the  herd  of  vastly 
more  j)otent  and  grasping  masculine  filibus- 
ters. 

"How  much  will  it  bring?"  ho  echoed, 
scarcely  concealing  his  lack  of  good-will. 
"  Let  me  see  :  how  much  was  the  barn  worth  ? 
That  is  an  essential  point  ?" 

"But  can't  you  fix  the  value  of  it  your- 
self? Or,  can't  I?  I  suppose  some  barns  arc 
worth  as  much  as  ten  thousand  dollars." 

"More,  Mrs.  Murray.  But  we  must  know 
how  much  this  particular  barn  was  worth. 
We  must  have  soix.e  affidavit  or  other  trust- 
worthy statement  as  to  its  value,  by  some 
person  who  has  seen  the  building." 

"Must  we?"  asked  Josie,  her  handsome 
face  taking  on  a  shade  of  gloom,  if  not  of  pos- 
itive annoyance.  Then,  after  a  moment  of 
hesitation,  she  handed  to  him  another  doc- 
Timent,  which  she  had  hitherto  kept  in  her 
pocket.  It  was  an  affidavit,  signed  and 
sworn  to  by  one  Jeremiah  Drinkwater,  de- 
claring that  he  had  aided  in  building  said 
barn,  and  knew  the  cost  of  it,  and  that  said 
cost  amounted  to  one  thousand  dollars. 


"  One  thousand  dollars,"  repeated  Mr.  Hol- 
lowbread,  meantime  smiling  to  himself  at 
the  thought  that  this  pretty  creature  had 
hinted  to  him  to  fix  the  valuation  at  ten 
thousand.  "  Well,  this  is  something  solid," 
he  added,  cheerfully,  glad  to  find  that  the 
claim  would  not  be  very  outrageous  in 
amoiint.  "  I  should  say  that  that  might  be 
put  through  without  a  great  deal  of  dititicul- 
ty." 

"  With  the  interest,  of  course,  Mr.  Hollow- 
bread  ?" 

"Oh  yes! — the  interest — yes,  of  course. 
Let  me  see :  seven  per  cent.,  for  sixty  years, 
would  be  just  forty-two  hundred  dollars; 
that  would  make  the  whole  claim  fifty-two 
hundred.  Well,  I  think  Uncle  Sam  ought  to 
foot  that,  and  say  nothing  about  it." 

"  Fifty-two  hundi-ed  dollars !  Is  that  all  ? 
Why,  Mr.  Curbstone  made  it  a  great  deal 
more  than  that.  He  said  there  were  two 
kinds  of  interest,  and  I  ought  to  have  the 
biggest  kind,  or  it  would  be  a  perfect  swin- 
dle." 

Mr.  HoUowbread  suspected  that  it  would 
be  a  perfect  swindle,  anyway,  especially  if 
Mr.  Curbstone's  devices  and  couusek  were 
followed  scrupulously. 

He  did  not  want  to  demand  compound  in- 
terest on  such  a  preposterous  claim ;  it  i^ut 
him  in  mind  of  a  lately  exploded  theory  of 
indirect  damages ;  it  might  end  in  making 
him  ridiculous. 

"  Why,  you  must  know  what  I  mean,"  add- 
ed Josie,  whose  sweet  brow  was  puckered 
with  an  attempt  at  recollection.  "  What  is 
that  ridiculous  word  ?  Do  think  it  u^)  for 
me." 

"  Compound  ?"  stammered  the  poor  Con- 
gressman, not  daring  to  counterfeit  igno- 
rance. 

"Yes  —  that  is  it  —  compound  interest," 
laughed  Josie,  with  angelic  delight.  "  Now, 
how  much  would  it  come  to  at  compound 
interest  ?" 

"  Sixty  years — seven  per  cent,  on  one  thou- 
sand—  say  sixty  thousand  dollars,"  calcu-   J 
lated  the  helpless  HoUowbread.  ^ 

"Oh,  that  is  quite  worth  while,  you  see. 
That  would  bo  worth  taking.  Besides,  I 
outjht  to  have  it.  It  would  be  a  shame  and 
an  injustice  to  keep  me  out  of  it.  I  am  so 
glad  to  find  that  you  and  Mr.  Curbstone  have 
figured  it  up  to  exactly  the  same  sum.  It 
nmst  bo  right." 

Mr.  HoUowbread  grew  uneasy  over  this 
frequent  mention  of  Mr.  Fred.  Curbstone.  It 
might  turn  out  that  ho  would  help  this  love- 
ly being  to  a  largo  sum  of  money,  at  great 
cost  to  the  public  treasury,  and  to  his  own 
tolerably  respectable  conscience,  merely  to 
make  her  a  good  matcli  for  that  dandified 
young  "scalawag"  of  a  broker. 

"  I  ought,  ])erhaps,  to  warn  you,  INIrs.  Mur- 
ray, against  Mr.  Curbstone,"  he  said,  turning 
paternal  for  the  moment.     "  He  is  an  able 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


busincss-nian  and  intrignor,  but  ho  has  no 
more  consciouco  than  ii  catanionnt." 

"  I  daro  say  he  is  sly,"  admitted  Josio,  ^vitll 
a  good-natured,  iudillerent  smile.  "  I  sup- 
pose a  man  must  ho  sly  to  succeed  in  busi- 
ness. Bat  ho  was  sxirely  a  good  friend  of 
mine  to  put  mo  up  to  getting  my  own  moTioy 
when  I  didn't  even  suspect  that  it  was  dne 
me.  I  don't  care  a  single  straw  about  the 
nuui  himself,  but  I  can't  helj)  feeling  obliged 
for  his  kindness." 

Mr.  Hollowbread  perceived  (to  use  one  of 
those  pictures(pic  idioms  which  give  so  much 
paiu  to  critics  of  a  certain  bore  and  penetra- 
tion) that  ho  had  put  his  foot  iu  it..  Ho  had 
given  her  a  chance  to  insinuate  to  him  that 
he  must  be  as  kind  to  her  in  this  matter  as 
Fred.  Curbstone,  or  she  would  owo  him  no 
gratitude.  So,  after  having  denouuced  the 
broker  as  a  conscienceless  intriguer,  he  found 
himself  driven  to  back  one  of  his  roguish  in- 
ventions. 

''Of  course  —  of  course,"  ho  grinned,  his 
eyes  meantime  being  very  pensive,  and  not 
at  all  like  the  eyes  of  a  happy  man,  "  Well, 
I  hope  to  prove  to  you  that  I  can  be  a  better 
friend  than  Mr.  Curbstone." 

"  Friend !  Oh,  Mr.  Hollowbread,  don't  call 
him  my  friend  in  any  serious  sense.  He  is 
just  useful  to  me,  and  I  must  say  thanks. 
That  is  all.  I  accept  you  as  a  friend.  I  do, 
indeed,  Mr.  Hollowbread.  If  you  succeed  in 
getting  my  rights  for  me,  or  even  if  you  only 
try  without  succeeding,  I  shall  owe  you  a 
life-long  gratitude.  I  don't  know  lioiv  I  can 
ever  pay  it,"  emphasized  Josie,  looking  ten- 
derly in  his  face,  and  leaning  slightly  toward 
him.  "  But  I  assure  you  in  all  sincerity  that 
I  shall  never,  never  be  insensible  to  my  ob- 
ligations, and  never  cease  to  be  your  hearty 
well-wisher." 

She  spoke  with  an  eagerness,  with  a  sort 
of  imaginative  sensibilitj-,  which  had  the 
.semblance  of  thorough  sincerity,  if,  indeed, 
it  was  not  temporary  sincerity. 

She  kindled  with  emotion  very  easily,  this 
dangerous  little  woman — as  easily,  we  may 
perhaps  say  without  injustice,  as  she  cooled 
off.  If  she  had  not  much  heart,  she  had  an 
intellect  which  could  stir  up,  bring  to  the 
surface  and  exhibit  whatever  heart  she  had, 
and  could  thus  give  hers  the  appearance  of 
an  ardent  nature.  Her  very  talk  illumined 
her  feelings  ;  she  spoke  so  liuently  and  vig- 
orously that  she  could  impassion  herself; 
only  the  passion  was  apt  to  die  to  ashes  al- 
most as  quick  as  she  stopped  chattering. 

But  the  result  with  regard  to  other  people 
was  that  she  seemed  toliko  them  immensely, 
and  that  she  frequently  inflamed  them  into 
a  violent  liking  for  her. 

"  Mrs.  Murray,  I  will  do  all  I  can  to  obtain 
your  rights  for  you,"  declared  Mr.  Hollow- 
bread, throbbing  to  the  core  with  loving  agi- 
tation, and  si;ddenly  turning  his  back  upon 
whatsoever  legislative   strai"htforwardness 


had  been  left  him  by  long  grinding  in  the 
mill  of  pontics.  "I  do  earnestly  and  sol- 
enndy  trust  that  I  shall  yet  i)rovo  myself 
your  best  friend." 

"  Oh,  I  know  j'ou  will,"  said  Josie,  breath- 
ing a  fervent  little  gasp  which  sounded  to 
him  like  a  sigh  of  aliection,  and  unflinching- 
ly exchanging  with  him  a  squeeze  of  her 
hand. 

It  was  curious,  by-the-way,  how  little  dif- 
ference this  girl  made  between  one  man  and 
another,  whether  young  or  old,  handsome  or 
ugly.  She  seemed  to  have  none  of  that  in- 
stinctive aversion  which  youthful  women 
generally  feel  toward  the  near  proximity  of 
elderly  gentlemen  who  show  a  disposition  to 
snuggle.  A  male  creature  was  to  her  a  male 
creature,  and  therein  attractive  enough,  o: 
at  least  bearable. 

An  ancient  beau,  with  dyed  mustache,  gray 
hairs  iu  his  nostrils,  crimson  veins  in  his 
cheeks,  and  an  ungraceful  spread  of  waist- 
coat, was  not  "  horrid"  to  her,  even  at  fond- 
ling distance  ;  she  could  look  into  his  faded 
eyes  as  sweetly,  and  touch  his  hand  as  kind- 
ly, and  brush  her  hair  against  his  shoulder 
as  temptingly,  as  if  he  were  in  the  freshest 
Ijrime  of  marrying  manhood.  It  was  a  sin- 
gular and  almost  an  unpleasing  trait  in  her, 
it  made  her  seem  so  stale  iu  feeling  and  so 
meretricious. 

Mr.  Hollowbread  had  sold  himself  for  a 
hope,  and  ho  was  full  of  joy  in  his  bargain. 
He  had  made  this  young  womau's  acquaint- 
ance to  flirt  with  her,  and  to  carry  the  flirta- 
tion as  far  as  he  might.  Now  ho  was  iu  love  ; 
ho  already  wanted  with  all  his  heart  to  mar- 
ry her ;  and  he  tremblingly  believed  that  he 
might  win  her  as  his  wife. 

As  for  her  claim,  he  would  push  it,  of 
course;  in  fact,  he  could  not  help  himself; 
he  ?)n(si  push  it.  After  all,  why  not  ?  Claims 
as  slight,  and  almost  as  absurdly'  stricken  in 
years,  had  been  nursed  uj)  to  vast  sums  and 
triumphantly  borne  through  Congress.  One 
more  would  make  no  great  difierenco  with 
the  reputation  of  that  noble  body,  and  ought 
not,  therefore,  to  be  an  insupportable  burden 
on  his  own  conscience  and  political  reputa- 
tion. Yes,  he  would  push  it,  compound  in- 
terest and  all,  and  be  hanged  to  it ! 

But  there  was  yet  another  trial  awaiting 
his  legislative  sensibilities. 

"  Will  there  be  anj"  expenses  in  collecting 
my  money,  Mr.  Hollowbread  ?"  asked  Josie. 

"Well,  there  may  be  ;  wo  may  have  to  hire 
a  little  help,"  he  confessed,  cringing  at  the 
thought  of  employing  a  lobbyist  to  bribe 
carpet-baggers  and  other  purchasable  Con- 
gressmen. 

"  Well,  I  have  thought  of  a  way  to  cover 
all  the  charges,"  she  smiled,  quite  pleased 
with  her  own  business  cleverness.  "  You 
spoke  of  it  yourself  during  our  conversation 
in  the  hack.  You  could  bring  in  a  bill  for 
the  outbuildings  and  the  horses  and  cows 


36 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


that  were  burned.  That  would  make  a  very 
handsome  sum  in  itself.  I  should  think  it 
would  pay  all  the  expenses,  and  leave  some- 
thing nice  for  me." 

For  a  moment  Mr.  Hollowbread  was  con- 
founded and  bothered  bj'^  a  iiroposition 
which  he  knew  meant  sheer  brazen  pilfer- 
ing and  perjury.  Perhaps  he  would  have 
had  a  spasm  of  firmness,  and  would  have 
told  Josie  that  her  plan  was  one  which  no 
honorable  Congressman  could  even  discuss, 
only  that  he  happened  to  look  down  into  her 
bewildering  eyes,  sparkling  with  youth  and 
tender  with  appeal.  Then  he  said  to  him- 
■  self  that  she  was  an  unconscious  swindler, 
and  that  her  naughtiness  Avas  nothing  less 
than  bewitching,  like  the  innocent  roguery 
of  an  infant. 

"  I  don't  know  about  all  that,"  he  replied, 
with  that  broken  little  laugh  which  signifies 
embarrassment,  and  not  merriment.  "  There 
is  no  mention  in  the  i>apers  of  outhouses 
and  cattle.  Congress  will  naturally  require 
us  to  stand  by  our  record." 

"  But  couldn't  one  stick  in  something — 
couldn't  you  ?"  ventured  Josie. 

No ;  Mr.  Hollowbread  thought  he  could 
not  stick  in  something :  he  was  not  bewitch- 
ed enough  to  go  as  far  as  that,  at  least  not 

yet. 

"Ah,  well,"  sighed  our  disappointed  hero- 
ine. "Then  I  must  let  it  go  as  it  is;  only 
it  does  seem  hard  that  I  can't  have  all  my 
own  money." 

"  Yes,  it  is  hard,"  conceded  Hollowbread, 
ready  to  laugh  outright,  but  also  almost 
ready  to  cry,  so  worrying  was  this  scaly 
business  to  him.  "  But  still,  sixty  thousand 
dollars  is  a  good  deal  of  money.  And  I  suj)- 
pose  we  may  possibly  get  that." 

And  now,  as  he  had  taken  the  claim  upon 
his  shoulders,  he  felt  that  he  had  a  riglit  to 
some  reward  in  the  way  of  courting  the 
claimant.  To  this  Josie  would  not  proba- 
bly have  objected  but  for  one  circumstance ; 
it  was  nearly  one  o'clock,  and  she  wanted 
to  get  rid  of  Hollowbread  before  Drummond 
should  appear. 

"Oh!  coidd  you  do  me  one  little  favor?" 
slie  siiddeulj'  asked.  "  I  have  a  letter  here 
which  ought  to  go  in  the  two  o'clock  North- 
ern mail.  I  was  so  occupied  with  the  thought 
of  seeing  yon  this  morning  that  I  forgot  to 
post  it.  But  it  is  very,  very  urgent.  Could 
you  possibly  get  it  to  the  office  before  one  ? 
I  would  be  so  immensely  obliged  to  you  !" 

He  did  not  want  to  go,  but  how  could  he 
liolp  it? 

"Shall  I  take  these  documents  along?" 
lie  incjuirea,  with  such  graciousness  as  he 
could  muster,  while  he  gathered  up  his  hat 
and  gloves. 

"Another  time,"  she  said,  remembering 
that  Jlr.  Drununond  would  need  to  see  tlieni, 
and  also  Mr.  Bradford.  "  I  want  to  read 
them  over  once  more,  and  get  the  case  by 


heart.  Perhaps  I  will  bring  them  to  you 
at  the  Capitol,"  she  added,  with  a  coaxing 
smile. 

So  Mr.  Hollowbread  put  what  tenderness 
he  could  into  his  parting,  and  then  hurried 
himself  out  of  breath  to  post  a  letter  whicli 
was  of  no  consecpience  whatever,  and  which 
had  indeed  been  written  with  the  sole  pur- 
I)ose  of  getting  shut  of  him  before  one 
o'clock. 


CHAPTER  XVI. 

COAXING  A  YOUNG   CONGRESSMA^s"   OR   TWO. 

Three  minutes  after  Sir.  Hollowbread 
had  left  Josephine  Murray,  Sykes  Drum- 
mond was  filling  his  i^lace  as  courtier  and 
counselor. 

She  was  very  glad  to  see  him  arrive,  and 
eager  that  he  should  be  content  with  hav- 
ing come  ;  but,  nevertheless,  she  was  more 
distant  with  him  than  she  had  been  with 
his  mature,  not  to  say  overripe,  predecessor. 

He  was  a  young  man;  there  could  be  no 
pretense  that  she  looked  upon  him  as  a  fa- 
ther; nods  and  becks  and  wreathed  smiles 
might  count  for  too  much  when  bestowed 
upon  a  gentleman  of  thirty. 

We  must  not  be  understood  as  intimating 
that  Josie  laboriously  and  gravely  thought 
this  out,  and,  so  to  speak,  studied  her  piece 
before  reciting  ft  to  Drummond.  Notwith- 
standing that  she  often  did  things  which 
were  audacious  in  a  lady,  she  retained  still 
a  great  deal  of  her  original  womauly  deli- 
cacy and  sensitiveness  of  perception,  and  so 
was  capable  of  doing  the  nice  thing  with 
the  promptness  of  instinct. 

Besides,  the  younger  Congressman  was  a 
more  disquieting  person  in  appearance  and 
deportment  than  the  elder  one.  His  pas- 
sion-haunted eyes,  his  trooper-like  boldness 
of  expression,  his  loud  and  domineering 
voice,  his  mien  of  roughness  and  hardness, 
all  warned  people  not  to  be  familiar  with 
him,  unless  thej'  wauted  intrusion  and  con- 
quest. 

But  Sykes  Drummond  was  not  easily  kept 
at  long  range  in  conversation.  The  first 
thing  that  he  said,  after  a  word  or  two  of 
salutation,  was  :  "  So  you  have  already  had 
the  Nestor  of  the  House  with  you  !" 

"Who?"  asked  Josie,  knowing  that  he 
meant  Mr.  Hollowbread,  and  ready  to  burst 
out  laughing  at  the  nickname,  but  not  car- 
ing to  talk  about  the  visit. 

"  Mr.  Hollowbread.  I  didn't  know  him  at 
first ;  he  was  making  so  much  better  time 
than  usual — haw,  haw  !  I  congratulate  you 
on  the  conquest,"  ho  added,  emboldened  by 
the  amused  twitching  of  her  mouth.  "Ho 
is  a  capital  old  fellow  in  his  way.  I  mean 
to  pronounce  a  eulogy  upon  him  in  Congress 
at  an  early  day,  an«l  confer  upon  him  the  ti- 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


57 


tie  of  Nestor  of  the  House.     I  wonder  if  ho 
would  like  it  ?" 

Josie  knew  that  Mr.  Ilollowbread  would 
not  like  it,  and  she  could  no  longer  restrain 
a  cry  of  laughter. 

"  Do  pronounce  a  eulogy  upon  him,"  she 
said.  "  But  make  it  a  very  nice  one,  to 
jdease  mo.  And  don't  call  him  the  Nestor 
of  the  House.  It  would  be  just  the  same  as 
to  say  that  he  neglects  his  dress  and  doesn't 
dye  his  hair  carefully." 

Of  course  Drummond  laughed  here,  and 
of  course  in  his  usual  haw-haw  fashion.  It 
was  always  agreeable  to  Lim  to  hear  any 
body  else  satirized. 

But  we  must  not  relate  this  interview  at 
length.  Necessarily  Josie  flirted,  as  we  know 
that  she  must  flirt ;  aud  necessarily  she  open- 
ed that  budget  of  business  which  we  have 
already  inspected. 

The  result  of  the  dialogue  was  that  Sykes 
Drummoud  impudently  pronounced  the 
claim  a  good  one,  declared  his  belief  that 
it  might  be  engineered  through  the  House, 
and  ofiered  to  take  charge  of  it. 

"  Do  you  want  to  hand  it  over  to  me,  Mrs. 
Murray  ?"  he  asked,  looking  her  firmly  in  the 
eyes. 

"Certainly  I  do,"  responded  Josie;  but 
she  fluttered  a  little,  for  she  had  not  yet  de- 
cided who  should  have  it. 

"What  did  Nestor  think  of  it  The  in- 
quired, with  an  impudent  twinkle  iu  his 
dusky  black  eyes. 

"  Mr.  Hollowbread  ?"  she  repeated,  flush- 
ing to  her  forehead,  for  Drummond  was  cer- 
tainly audacious.  It  just  occurred  to  her 
also  that  she  might  yet  fiud  a  master  iu  this 
daring  aud  rude  mau  if  she  submitted  her- 
self at  all  to  his  guidance.  "  Well,  he  spoke 
favorably  of  it,"  she  stated,  judging  that 
evasion  was  useless,  but  approving  of  mis- 
representation. 

"  Well,  aud  which  of  us  is  it  to  be  V 

"My  own  member,  of  course,"  she  de- 
clared, blushing  again  under  his  keen,  reso- 
lute gaze.  "  When  you  are  so  kind  as  to  of- 
fer, surely  I  can  not  hesitate." 

"Then  I  had  better  take  these  papers 
along."  I 

"Oh,  not  to-day !"  begged  Josie,  almost' 
fearful  that  he  would  carrj'  them  oft' in  spite 
of  her.  She  did  not  seem  to  herself  to  be  her 
own  mistress,  with  this  Sykes  Drummond 
staring  into  her  eyes.  "I  want  to  show 
them  to  one  old  friend,  and  ask  his  ad- 
vice." 

"  Bradford,  I  suppose." 

"  I  sha'n't  tell  j-ou,  sir,"  declared  Josie, 
laughing,  but  uneasy.  "  I  mean  to  have  at 
least  one  secret  from  you.  Suppose,  after 
all,  it  was  my  uncle,  Colonel  Murray  ?" 

"  Then  he  hasn't  seen  it,"  inferred  Drum- 
moud. "  He  had  better  not.  The  old  gen- 
tleman won't  like  the  case." 

"  Why  not  ?"  she  asked,  though  she  had 


already  guessed  as  much,  and  indued  been 
told  as  much. 

"1  have  been  in  the  army,  Mns.  Murray;  I 
served  all  through  the  war,  and  met  (piite  a 
number  of  regular  ofKicers,  and  got  at  their 
ways  of  thinking.  They  are  a  curious  peo- 
ple, very  difterent  from  the  sort  of  men  prev- 
alent in  these  latter  days,  especially  in  this 
great  model  republic  of  Vanity  Fair — haw, 
haw,  haw !  I  haven't  much  conlldence  in 
the  judgment  of  Brother  Christian  and 
Brother  Faithful  of  the  regular  army.  They 
couldn't  be  brought  to  admire  this  sort  of 
claim  against  the  Government." 

"  I  sujipose  they  have  their  own  stiff  no- 
tions." 

"  Yes,  they  have  stiff  notions.  But  you 
were  thinking  of  Mr.  Bradford.  He  wouldn't 
like  the  case  either." 

"  Why  not  ?"  again  demanded  Josie,  rath- 
er sharply  for  her.  "  He  is  an  old  aud  good 
friend  of  mine." 

"  Bradford  took  to  the  regulars — wanted 
to  be  a  regular.  Ho  would  pay  you  the 
money  himself  rather  than  collect  it  out  of 
the  Treasury." 

For  a  moment  Josie  enthusiastically  wor- 
shiped Bradford,  because  of  this  imputed  no- 
bleness. She  woudered  whether  she  could 
not  bring  him  to  an  ofter  of  marriage,  and 
then  win  his  life-long  admiration  by  giving 
up  her  claim." 

"  He  is  a  bit  of  a  Don  Quixote,"  continued 
Drummond.  "  He  has  impractical  ideas — 
for  a  man  in  politics." 

"I  never  thought  him  A-ery  fostidious," 
incautiously  remarked  Josie,  who  had  be- 
come aware  of  some  dubious  traits  iu  her 
"good  friend." 

"  Perhaps  not,"  smiled  Drummond,  with 
impudent  knowingness.  "  But  you  haven't 
studiedhimin  moueymatters  andin  politics." 

"It  doesn't  matter  about  him  at  all,"  she 
said,  annoyed  by  Drumraond's  smile,  aud 
skipping  away  from  the  subject.  "  But  still  I 
want  to  look  over  the  papers,  and  get  them 
by  heart,  before  I  hand  them  to  you." 

"Aud  you  don't  care  to  show  them  to  that 
good  friend,  and  get  his  advice  f 

"  You  are  so  bold,  sir,  that  you  make  me 
bold.  I  have  the  greatest  mind  to  call  you 
impudent,"  retorted  Josie,  with  a  flurried 
laugh. 

"I  wouldn't  mind  it  a  bit.  But  really, 
Mrs.  Murray,  my  impudence  is  all  for  your 
good.  You  had  positively  better  not  con- 
sult Bradford,  nor  trust  Hollowbread.  The 
first  won't  do  any  thing,  aud  the  second  can't 
do  any  thing." 

"A  chairman  of  a  committee  cau't  do  any 
thing!" 

"  He  is  an  old  figure-head.  He  hasn't  a 
stroke  of  good,  earnest,  telling  work  in  him. 
You  might  as  well  expect  an  answer  to  prayer 
from  a  fetich  as  go  for  help  to  such  a  chair- 
mau." 


53 


PLAYING  THE  mSCHIEF. 


"But  it  is  tbe  Circulating  Medium  Com- 
mittee! Aud  that  is  just  what  I  -waut — 
circulatiug  medium." 

Drummond  laughed  outrageously;  tlieu 
be  begged  pardon  ironically. 

"The  Circulating  Medium  Committee  bas 
uotbing  in  the  world  to  do  with  your  busi- 
ness," be  explained.  "  It  is  the  Chairman 
of  the  Committee  on  Spoliations  that  you 
want  to  get  at." 

"Oh!"  exclaimed  Josie,  roundly  astonish- 
ed and  even  a  little  humiliated,  for  she  bad 
begun  to  piqne  herself  on  her  knowledge  of 
Congressional  matters.  "  Well,  Mr.  Drum- 
mond, you  shall  have  the  papers  to-morrow. 
If  you  will  give  me  your  address,  I  will  send 
them." 

"Many  thanks," he  said,  handing  her  his 
card.  "  I  will  try  to  be  worthy  of  my  mis- 
sion.    And  now  I  must  go." 

"  So  soon  ?"  stared  aud  almost  pleaded  Jo- 
sie, who  bad  meant  to  captivate  him  more  or 
less  before  he  departed. 

"  Sorry,"  he  said ;  "  but  the  business  of  the 
country— haw,  haw!  Good-morning,  Mrs. 
Murray." 

"When  this  interview  was  over,  Josie  found 
herself  very  tired.  She  bad  done  a  hard 
day's  work  in  the  way  of  seeking  to  under- 
stand aud  to  master  business,  and  another 
hard  day's  work  in  striving  to  coax  or  dom- 
inate two  men  of  unusual  dignity  and  au- 
Ubority.  At  least  it  was  all  hard  work  for 
that-fragile  and  sensitive  child  of  lazy  lux- 
ury, the  fine  lady  of  this  century.  Slie  drop- 
ped wearily  into  an  easy-chair,  and  said  to 
herself  that  she  wanted  a  good  fiiend — some- 
body who  would  take  care  of  her,  and  pet 
her,  and  love  her — yes,  perhaps  a  husband. 

When  Bradford  arrived,  she  was  almost 
ready  to  fall  at  his  feet  and  let  him  guide 
her  in  all  things  as  he  wished,  providing  he 
would  think  for  her  and  be  kind  to  her, 
though  but  a  little.  She  was  in  that  hum- 
ble, tender  state  of  mind  in  which  a  woman 
is  ai^t  to  accept  the  first  offer  that  comes, 
and  in  which  she  is  very  likely  to  win  of- 
fers. 

Bradford  was  surprised  and  instantaneous- 
ly touched  by  her  air  of  languor,  humility, 
and  sweetness. 

"  The  fatigue  of  last  evening  was  too  much 
for  you,"  he  said,  symxiathetically,  as  he  sat 
down  by  her  side. 

"  Yes,  it  was  bard  work — very  hard  work," 
she  murmured. 

There  was  something  like  a  sob  in  bor 
voice,  she  felt  herself  to  be  so  alone  in  the 
world,  and  longed  so  to  be  pitied  aud  xietted. 

Much  doubting  that  he  was  doing  a  Avise 
thing,  be  ventured  to  take  her  hand  in  bis, 
as  be  well  remembered  to  have  done  in  oth- 
er days,  when,  indeed,  be  bad  even  less  right 
to  take  it.  She  quivered  slightly,  but  she 
did  not  withdraw  her  fingers,  and  there  was 
no  displeasure  in  her  manner. 


For  a  few  seconds  they  sat  thus  in  silence ; 
she  with  her  chin  resting  on  her  free  hand, 
her  long  eyelashes  drooped,  and  her  eyes 
bent  absently  on  the  floor  ;  he  with  bis  gaze 
fixed  upon  her  unusually  pathetic  face,  all 
the  more  attractive  for  its  ])allor  aud  lassi- 
tude. He  said  to  himself  that  she  was  ex- 
quisitely beautiful;  and  be  was  that  kind 
of  artistic  man  (a  common  kind  enough)^ 
who  can  not  see  beauty  without  longing  to 
possess  it ;  and,  furthermore,  there  was  the 
tempting  reminiscence  of  a  make-believe 
possession  in  former  days. 

But  this  silence  was  getting  to  be  entan- 
gling, dangerous,  terrible.  If  it  should  last 
a  minute,  it  would  become  a  sort  of  person- 
age in  the  drama,  speaking  with  something 
like  the  voice  of  a  protecting  father  or 
brother,  and  demanding  a  declaration  of  in- 
tentions. 

All  this  Bradford  felt ;  aud,  being  not  yet 
ready  to  propose  marriage,  ho  made  an  ef- 
fort to  break  the  spell.  Still  he  could  only 
speak  words  of  kindness,  verging  closely  on 
affection. 

"  I  fear  that  you  are  unhappy,  as  well  as 
fatigued,"  be  said.  "I  am  very,  very  sorrj' 
for  the  troubles  that  have  come  uj)0u  you  iu 
these  latter  years." 

We  all  find  it  touching  to  be  compassion- 
ated when  we  long  for  comi>assiou.  Josie's 
fine  eyes  filled  with  tears  as  she  thought  how 
she  had  lost  a  husbaud  who  was  at  least  fond 
of  her,  however  much  he  might  bo  a  fool  iu 
other  respects,  and  who  had  put  on  flatter- 
ing airs  of  protecting  her,  although  be  knew 
not  in  the  least  bow  to  save  her  from  the 
greatest  j^erils  of  woman's  life.  Her  voice 
actually  shook  as  she  answered:  "You  are 
very  good  to  remember  to  give  me  your 
sympathy." 

He  was  quite  astonished,  as  well  as  moved, 
by  this  display  of  emotion.  He  said  to  him- 
self that  she  had  more  heart  than  be  had 
supposed,  and  that  with  a  worthy  husband 
she  might  make  an  admirable  wife. 

"Good!  I  am  simply  grateful  for  old 
kindness  to  myself,"  he  said.  "I  should  be 
a  poor  creature  if  I  lacked  grace  euough  to 
be  as  good  as  that." 

"  We  were  friends  years  ago — I  hope  ear- 
nest friends.  It  would  be  a  pity  if  wo  could 
not  keep  up  our  friendship." 

"It  wiU  be  kept  up,  at  least  on  my  part." 

"And  on  mine,"  whispered  Josopbine. 

She  felt  this  declaration  so  deeply,  that 
she  was  tempted  to  lay  her  bead  on  his 
shoulders,  where  she  had  laid  it  at  least 
once  iu  by -gone  days.  Had  be  made  the 
slightest  movement  toward  her,  she  would 
have  risked  this  decisive  audacity.  Her 
cheeks,  by -the- Avay,  were  no  longer  pale; 
there  was  a  small  fervid  flush  iu  the  centre 
of  each  one  of  them  ;  and  this  tale-telling 
spot  was  rapidly  deepening  iu  color  and  ex- 
tending,    lie  noted  that  glow  of  something 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


59 


warmer  tlian  friendsliip,  and  it  served  liim 
as  a  warniiij^-bcacon.  Ho  said  to  himself 
that  he  must  hjok  into  the  gulf  of  conse- 
quences before  ho  leaped;  and  so, •while  still 
holding  her  hand,  and  finding  much  pleasure 
therein,  he  remained  immovable. 

At  last  Josio  decided  that  ho  was  getting 
more  than  ho  gave,  and  guessed  that  ho  was 
presuming  on  by-gone  favors,  which  likewise 
liad  never  been  rightly  paid  for.  She  did 
not  show  displeasure,  for  she  was  not  vexed 
with  hiui,  and  desired  not  to  aimoy  him,  but 
she  gently  strove  to  withdraw  her  fingers. 
He  let  them  go,  yet  not  till  ho  had  raised 
them  impulsively  to  his  lips,  iinding  it  no 
great  lift  to  overcome  her  resistance. 

"Ah!  Edgar!  you  mustn't,"  she  murmur- 
ed, glaucing  at  him  wistfully,  to  see  how 
much  he  meant,  and  trembling  with  agita- 
tion and  pleasure.  "  Eemember  that  things 
are  changed  with  me,"  she  added,  more  lirm- 
ly,  fearing  lest  he  had  ouly  meant  to  treat 
himself  to  a  cheap  luxury.  "  I  have  no  long- 
er a  protector.  I  must  bo  my  own  duenna, 
and  forbid  you  to  kiss  my  hand." 

"  I  beg  pardon,"  he  replied.  "  But  it  was 
a  great  temptation.  I  may  say  that  I  couldn't 
help  it." 

"But  you  ought  to  help  it.  You  must 
know  that  I  don't  want  to  risk  vexing  and 
losing  the  only  old  friend  I  have  here  by 
checking  and  scolding  him.  It  is  not  fair 
of  you  to  lay  the  whole  burden  of  resisting 
your  temptations  upon  me." 

She  was  certainly  a  remarkable  young 
womau ;  at  least  so  Mr.  Bradford  said  to 
himself.  A  moment  ago  ho  had  supposed 
that  he  could  bo  entirely  at  ease  with  her ; 
and  yet  now  she  was  forcing  him  to  resjiect 
her,  and  that  without  angering  him. 

"  You  are  right,  Josie,"  he  said.  "  I  may 
use  the  old  name,  mayn't  I  ?"  ho  added,  re- 
membering that  she  had  called  him  Edgar. 
"  I  shall  be  flattered  and  gratified  if  I  may 
claim  so  much." 

"  You  mustn't  call  me  Josie  in  public." 

"In  that  case  you  mustn't  call  me  Edgar 
in  public." 

"I  don't  want  to  call  you  Edgar  any- 
where." 

They  both  laughed ;  and  henceforth  there 
was  a  sort  of  understanding  between  them  ; 
they  were  on  terms  which  might  be  at  one 
moment  friendship  ;  at  another,  courtship  in 
the  second  degree. 

"But  I  must  not  forget  your  business," 
Bradford  went  on.  "  You  wanted  to  see  me 
about  a  claim." 

Thereupon  Josie,  for  the  third  time  that 
<lay,  told  her  story,  and  exhibited  her  docu- 
ments. 

"My  dear  friend,  yon  frighten  me,"  was 
his  first  comment.  "There  are  iirejudices 
— among  certain  very  respectable  people — 
against  such  suits.  The  claim  is  a  very  old 
one.     Against  an  iudividual  the  debt  would 


bo  outlawed.    It  seems  strange,  therefore,  to 
urge  it  against  tho  Government." 

Josio  looked  excessively  distressed,  and 
was  so ;  her  mouth  twisted  and  trembled 
quite  piteously. 

"15ut  if  it  is  a  just  debt?"  she  pleaded. 
"And  it  is  just." 

It  pained  him  so  much  to  look  upon  this 
feminine  trouble,  that  he  turned  his  eyes  to 
tho  floor,  as  he  continued:  "Moreover,  it 
may  have  been  paid  once.  Many  of  tho 
claims  of  1812  were  adjusted  long  ago." 

Josie  cringed  and  quivered,  so  that  her 
very  vestments  rustled.  Sho  had  ia  her  i 
pocket,  at  that  very  moment,  a  paper  show-  • 
ing  that  this  debt  had  been  licjuidated,  many 
years  since,  by  a  payment  of  two  thousand 
dollars.  Sho  had  thought  of  exhibiting  the 
document  to  Bradford,  and  asking  if  it  de- 
barred her  from  making  further  demands. 
Now  she  suddenly  resolved  that  ho  should 
never,  never  see  it. 

"  But  if  it  was  paid  once,  that  proves  that 
the  thing  really  happened,"  she  did  venture 
to  argue.  "And  then,  if  there  was  scarce- 
ly any  thing  jiaid,  and  not  half  as  much  as 
ought  to  have  been  paid,  why  not  ask  for  the 
rest  ?" 

"Ah,  well!"  he  sighed,  in  a  troubled  way, 
"  I  will  look  into  it,  to  the  best  of  my  abilitj-, 
and  see  if  any  thing  ought  to  be  done." 

"  See  here,  Edgar,"  she  implored.  "  Why 
not  help  me  more  heartily  than  that  ?  Au- 
gustus lost  and  spent  nearly  all  his  property. 
My  father  failed  in  one  of  tho  panics,  and 
left  nothing.  I  haven't  enough  to  support 
me ;  I  haven't  six  thousand  dollars.  What 
do  I  know  about  earning  a  living?  What 
can  a  lady  do?  Isn't  it  a  very,  very  hard 
case?" 

Her  mouth  trembled  ungovernably,  and 
he  pitied  her  with  all  his  heart.  Still  he 
could  not  promise  to  take  her  part  at  all 
hazards,  in  defiance  of  that  fastidious  con- 
science as  to  the  public  interests,  upon  which 
he  prided  himself,  and  which  was  by  far  his 
most  prominent  point  of  honor.  He  was 
nearly  ready  to  tell  her  that  ho  would  mar- 
ry her,  and  support  her  himself,  rather  than 
push  an  unjust,  or  even  a  doubtful,  claim 
through  Congress  for  her  benefit.  But  to 
that  extreme  he  could  not  quite  go  as  yet, 
although  it  seemed  possible  that  he  might 
soon  reach  it. 

"I  will  do  my  best  for  you,  Josie,"  he 
promised.  "  Can  you  let  mo  have  your  pa- 
pers for  a  day  or  two  ?" 

"Yes,"  she  said,  after  one  anxious,  plead- 
ing look  into  his  pensive,  handsome  hazel 
eyes,  which  were  just  then  as  tender  as  a 
woman's. 

And  so  she  gave  her  precious  documents 
to  Bradford,  breaking  her  promises  to  Hol- 
lowbread  and  Drummond.  But  what  a  nice 
couple  of  sweet-sceutcd  notes  sho  wrote  to 
those  gentlemen,  apologizing  meekly  to  each 


60 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


for  not  Laving  sent  Lim  lier  package,  asking 
a  few  days'  delay  for  further  refiectioD,  and, 
of  course,  invitiug  tliem  to  call  and  see  her ! 


CHAPTER  XYII. 

A  FRIGHT  AXD  A  DISAPPOINTMENT. 

JosiE  soon  had  occasion  to  know  that  one 
of  her  Congressmen  had  begun  work  in  fur- 
therance of  her  suit. 

During  the  evening  of  the  day  in  which 
she  held  her  palavers  with  those  three  hon- 
orables,  Colonel  Murray  dropped  in  at  the 
rector's,  and,  after  some  talk  about  the  ad- 
ventures of  the  reception,  propounded  the 
following  query : 

"  John, "said  he,  in  his  easy,  drawling  tone, 
meanwhile  stretching  his  long,  lean  legs 
over  a  chair  or  two,  "  do  you  know  any 
thing  about  the  ownership  of  a  Murray  barn 
in  Beulah  County  which  was  burned  by 
troops  in  1812  ?" 

Josie's  heart  set  up  a  frightful  thumping, 
and  she  felt  that  her  cheeks  were  turning 
scarlet;  but  she  covered  her  emotion  by 
dropping  a  skein  of  embroiderj^-silk  and 
making  believe  search  for  it. 

"Barn?"  marveled  the  reverend  Murray. 
"No,  I  don't  remember  the  ownership,  nor 
the  burning,  nor  the  barn.    \Yhat  of  it  ?" 

"  Why,  a  gentleman  whose  name  I  can't 
recall  now — but  he  is  an  old  wheel-horse  and 
war-horse  and  high-cockolorum  in  Congress 
— a  stout,  red-faced  Turveydrop  of  a  fellow 
— stopped  me  in  the  street  this  afternoon, 
and  wanted  the  newest,  or,  rather,  the  oldest, 
intelligence  about  it." 

Yes,  Mr.  Hollowbread,  supposing  that  the 
claim  was  to  be  put  into  his  hands,  and 
knowing  that  Colonel  Murray  belonged  to 
the  family  which  was  connected  with  the 
barn,  but  knowing  nothing  of  the  old  sol- 
dier's punctilious  respect  for  tlie  public  mon- 
eys, had  made  the  mistake  of  applying  to 
him  for  guidance  in  pushing  a  swindle. 

"It  was  shamefully  stupid  of  him,"  said 
Josie  to  herself;  and  for  the  moment  she 
was  angry  with  the  sharp  anger  of  fright 
against  her  thoughtless  advocate ;  but  of 
course  her  cleverness  and  self-]iossessiou  en- 
abled her  to  hold  her  tongue. 

"  What  did  he  want  to  know  ?  and  what 
did  he  want  to  do  about  it  ?"  eagerly  queried 
the  rector,  interested  himself,  and  hoping  to 
interest  his  wife.  Indeed,  he  looked  at  her 
and  signaled  to  her  at  this  moment,  as  was 
his  custom  when  he  desired  to  engage  her 
wandering  attention. 

"'  He  asked,  was  it  actually  burned,  and 
whose  property  it  was.  I  questioned  him, 
of  course,  as  to  his  object,  but  he  hummed 
and  hawed  as  those  political  fellows  do  when 
you  try  to  pump  them  ;  and,  in  fiict,  he  got 
off  without  telling  me  any  thing.     By-the- 


way,  I  couldn't  give  him  any  information, 
further  than  that  some  barn  or  other  was 
burned.     I  was  only  five  years  old  then." 

"  Let  me  see ;  I  was  three  years  old  ;  I 
recollect  nothing,"  said  the  rector.  "And 
Henry  was  a  baby.  I  should  like  to  know 
something  about  the  affair.  Huldah !"  he 
called,  with  a  sharp,  distinct  utterance,  as 
we  speak  to  one  who  is  dozing. 

Mrs.  Murray,  notwithstanding  her  seventy- 
eight  years,  and  her  decadence  of  mind  as 
well  as  of  body,  had  a  wonderful  memory  for 
the  transactions  of  long  ago,  and  knew  the 
family  history  pretty  nearly  by  heart. 

At  the  sound  of  her  name  from  those  lips 
which  never  spoke  without  awakening  her 
interest,  she  started  out  of  a  reverie  (one 
of  the  slumber-like  reveries  of  age)  with  a 
tremulous,  eager  air. 

"  Do  wake  up,  Huldah,"  said  the  husband, 
who  sometimes  reproved  her  playfully  for 
her  absences  and  torpors.  "  You  are  getting 
awfully  dreamy  and  romantic  of  late.  You 
mustn't  read  so  much  poetry." 

"  Why,  ilr.  Murray  !"  remonstrated  the 
old  lady,  giggling  nervously.  "  I  don't  read 
any  more  jjoetry  than  you  do.  What  are 
you  scolding  about  ?" 

"  Here  is  Julian  talking  for  the  last  fifteen 
minutes,  or  half  an  hour,  or  two  hours,  about 
a  barn.  An  old  Murray  barn,  which  lies  on 
his  mind  like  a  load  of  lead.  It  was  burned 
by  the  British,  or  the  Indians,  or  the  Yan- 
kees, or  the  Salem  witches,  in  1S12.  A  barn 
on  the  family  estate  in  Beulah  County — you 
understand  ?" 

"Yes,  yes,  I  understand.  Well,  what  of 
it?" 

""WTay,  wehave  got  to  come  to  you  about  it. 
Julian  and  I  have  lost  our  memories,  like  a 
couple  of  decayed  old  gentlemen.  We  want 
to  know  who  burned  the  barn,  and  whether  it 
was  burned  at  all.  and  who  owned  it  before  it 
was  burned,  if  it  was  burned." 

Meantime  Mrs.  Murray  went  through  a 
succession  of  starts  and  quivers,  as  though 
each  of  these  repetitions  gave  her  an  electric 
shock,  or  as  though  memory  were  coming 
back  to  her  in  throbs  and  pulsations. 

"Why,  what  nonsense!  Oh!  a  burned 
barn  ! — in  1812,  you  say  ?  Oh  !  in  Beulah 
County!"  she  answered,  by  jerks,  repeating 
the  ideas  after  him.  "  Yes,  yes,  I  under- 
stand. I  was  thinking —  OIi,  yes;"  aud 
liere  an  expression  of  pleasure  llickered 
over  her  puzzled  face ;  she  had  caught  a 
thread  of  recollection.  "  Why,  yes,  dear  me, 
yos,  it  teas  burned.  I  remember  all  about  it. 
Why,  I  remember  it  distinctly.  How  strauge 
you  shiuild  have  forgotten  it !  Who  burned 
it?  Oh,  that's  what  you  wanted  to  know! 
Why,  our  troops  —  the  American  troops  — 
burned  it  to  drive  out  the  British.  The  Brit- 
ish were  in  it,  and  our  troops  set  fire  to  it  to 
drive  them  out.  Wliy,  old  Jeremiah  Drink- 
water — you've  heard  of  him,  colonel  ? — he 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


CI 


was  in  the  fight,  and  ho  tohl  me  all  about  it 
when  I  was  a  girl ;  and  I  believe  he's  living 
yet." 

"Yes,  ho  is  a  pensioner,"  said  the  colonel. 
"  So  there  really  was  a  Murray  barn  burned," 
ho  added,  not  in  the  least  questioning  the 
ancient  dame's  recollection,  so  sure  was  it 
known  to  bo  concerning  the  times  of  eld. 
"But,  Mrs.  Mnrray,  whose  old  aliair  was  it? 
Was  it  our  mother's,  or  Henry's,  or  John's,  or 
miuo  ?  You  know  that  our  mother  moved 
us  all  East  not  long  after  the  war.  About 
that  time  my  recollection  begins." 

"  Whoso  was  it  ?  I  don't  know.  I  think 
I  never  heard  whoso  lot  it  was  in." 

"  I  should  like  to  learn,"  observed  the  rec- 
tor. "  Then  we  might  guess  what  this  Con- 
gressman is  at." 

There  was  one  person  present  who  could 
have  solved  that  doubt,  but  who  was  uot  one 
jot  disposed  to  do  it. 

"  It  is  possible  that  he  has  some  pension 
case  on  hand,"  surmised  the  colonel. 

"  More  ijrobably  some  rascality,"  declared 
the  clergyman,  who  Avas  orthodoxically  hard 
upon  our  fallen  humanity,  and  apt  to  im- 
pute to  it  much  unrighteousness.  "  You 
may  depend  that  the  devil  is  somewhere  at 
the  bottom  of  it." 

Josephine  quivered ;  she  felt  all  the  guiltier 
with  regard  to  the  claim  because  of  her  sly 
reticence ;  and  just  then  it  seemed  to  her 
very  likely  that  the  whole  thing  was  in- 
deed a  piece  of  roguery. 

"  Do  you  believe  in  a  real  devil,  uncle  ?" 
she  asked,  remembering  that  the  two  men 
were  accustomed  to  quarrel  over  supernat- 
ural matters,  and  hoping  to  divert  them 
from  their  present  subject  by  the  help  of 
Apollyon. 

"  I  do,"  affirmed  the  rector,  positively. 
"  This  whole  world,  and  especially  the  polit- 
ical part  of  it,  is  worm-eaten  with  deviltry. 
If  you  can't  see  distinctly  what  your  neigh- 
bor is  doing,  you  may  report  boldlj'  that  he 
is  at  Satau's  business.  I'll  guarantee  that 
iu  nineteen  cases  out  of  twenty  you  Avou't 
have  slandered  him.  I  don't  mean  out  iu  the 
country,  amongourgood,  plain,  old-fashioned 
American  people — the  simple,  moral,  godlj^ 
people  who  make  the  strength  of  this  nation, 
and  who  are  the  salt  which,  I  trust,  will 
eventnally  save  it.  I  mean  in  our  great  cit- 
ies— for  instance.  New  York  and  Philadel- 
phia, with  their  rings  and  their  bosses — and 
especially  this  Satau's  kingdom  of  Washing- 
ton. How  a  man  can  live  in  Washington  as 
long  as  you  have,  Julian,  and  doubt  the  ex- 
istence of  a  real  and  most  enormous  devil,  I 
can  uot  see." 

This  was  an  old  field  of  battle  for  the  two 
brothers,  and  the  rationalistic  colonel  drew 
out  his  forces  jiromptly. 

"  Oh,  pshaw  !  Don't  talk  to  mo  about  a 
devil.  Where  did  ho  come  from?  Who 
created  him  ?     Answer  me  that  question." 


"Yes;  because  you  can't  account  for  him 
by  your  doctrine  of  evolution — because  you 
can't  tell  what  monkey  or  what  monad  he 
was  developed  from — you  deny  his  existence. 
That  is  what  your  science  leads  to.  On  the 
same  principle  yon  ought  to  deny  the  cxist- 
cnoo  of  num.  Man's  father  -  nujukey  and 
grandfather -monad  can't  be  found;  there- 
fore there  is  no  man." 

"  I  ask  yon,  who  created  the  devil?"  per- 
sisted the  old  soldier,  not  to  be  diverted  from 
his  point  of  attack.  "  Of  course  God  created 
every  thing,  or  there  is  some  other  creator, 
and  consequently  some  other  God.  You 
won't  deny  that  inference,  I  suppose.  Bnt 
if  God  created  the  Satan  yon  believe  in,  thou 
he  created  rebellion  against  himself,  and  he 
is  responsible  for  it.  But  of  course  you 
won't  admit  that.  Now,  how  are  you  going 
to  get  out  of  the  dilemma  ?  You  had  better 
abjure  your  devil." 

"I  don't  see  any  dilemma  at  all,"  hot- 
ly answered  the  clergyman.  "  Tho  simple 
Scriptures  tell  us  how  tho  thing  came  about. 
Lucifer  was  created  heavenly,  and  fell  from 
heaven." 

"  Oh,  that's  Milton,"  sniffed  the  colonel. 
"  I  have  driven  you  clear  through  the  Bible, 
and  you  rally  behind  tho  '  Paradise  Lost.' " 

"  Don't,  Mr.  Murray !"  put  iu  old  Mrs.  Mur- 
ray at  this  jioiut,  seeing  that  her  husband 
was  about  to  make  some  fiery  response. 
"  You  do  get  so  excited  on  these  matters !" 

"Well,  well,"  said  tho  rector,  subsiding 
into  a  smile,  and  loosening  his  white  ueck- 
choker,  for  he  i^ercoived  that  ho  was  becom- 
ing agitated,  and  knew  that  it  was  not  good 
for  him,  "Julian  must  go  his  own  ways, 
like  his  namesake  in  Roman  history.  But 
I  do  want  to  keep  up  a  saving  fiiith  iu  the 
devil  among  this  godless  generation.  As  it 
is,  men  have  grown  so  wicked  that  we  can 
hardly  get  up  the  church-aisles  without  hav- 
ing our  pockets  picked ;  and  if  they  should 
come  to  disbelieve  generally  in  a  solid,  roar- 
ing, tormenting  Satan  our  very  lives  wouldn't 
be  safe  overnight.  We  should  wake  up  to- 
morrow morning  with  our  heads  rolling  about 
ou  the  floor." 

"  Oh,  it's  a  good  enough  bugaboo  to  help 
control  the  vulgar,"  admitted  the  colonel. 
"  I  dare  say  the  fetich  and  the  obi  are  use- 
ful as  restraining  influences  on  the  coast  of 
Guinea." 

And  here,  each  holding  firmly  his  origin- 
al lino  of  battle,  these  veteran  antagonists 
sheathed  their  doctrinal  swords,  and  the 
combat  came  to  a  close.  But  it  had  served 
the  purpose  of  that  adroit  Josie  ;  it  had 
blown  the  burned  baru  clean  out  of  tho  con- 
versation. 

As  she  did  on  this  occasion,  hiding  her 
claim  from  her  respectable  elders  and  pro- 
tectors, so  she  continued  to  do  as  long  as  pos- 
sible ;  and  that,  too,  although  she  received  a 
letter  from  Bradford  the  next  day,  begging 


62 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


her  to  lay  the  hnsiuess  before  the  colonel  ere 
she  pushed  it  further. 

"  If  you  should  consult  him  on  it,"  Avrote 
the  younj^  Congressman,  "  I  think  you  would 
find  him  disposed  to  disapprove  of  it,  and 
perhaps  very  energetically." 

"All  the  more  reason  for  not  consulting 
him !"  exclaimed  Josie,  throwing  the  letter 
down  in  a  pet.  But  she  immediately  picked 
it  up,  and  read  on  as  follows :  "  I  am  afraid 
that  I  can  not  bring  myself  to  push  the  claim 
any  further  than  it  has  already  gone.  I  dis- 
cover by  the  records  of  the  Claim-office  that 
it  was  paid  once,  and  in  full  of  all  demands, 
namely,  two  thousand  dollars." 

"  Oh,  he  has  found  it  out,  has  he  ?"  burst 
out  Josie.  "  What  did  he  go  and  look  up 
that  for  ?" 

"  To  ask  for  further  payment,  after  hav- 
ing been  paid  in  full  would  be  what  is  call- 
ed a  lobby  job,"  continued  that  strange  com- 
jjound  of  moralities  and  immoralities,  Mr. 
Congressman  Bradford.  "I  would  do  al- 
most any  thing  for  you,  my  dear  friend,  but 
I  can  not  bring  myself  to  do  this.  I  am  a 
poor,  crooked  stick,  but  I  must  draw  my  line 
of  proprieties  somewhere,  and  I  draw  it  on 
the  confines  of  my  official  business.  Let  me 
humbly  beg  of  you  not  to  be  offended  with 
what  may  naturally  seem  to  you  absurd 
punctiliousness.  I  have  it  greatly  at  heart 
to  obtain  and  maintain  the  character  of  a 
scrupulously  honorable  legislator,  the  exact 
opposite  of  so  many  rascally  jobbers  who 
disgrace  our  legislative  halls." 

"Oh  yes!"  gasped  Josie,  her  eyes  full  of 
tears,  and  her  cheeks  hot  with  vexation,  per- 
ha]is  mingled  with  shame.  "He  can  make 
love  to  a  married  woman,  and  his  friend's 
wife,  and  expect  her  to  let  him  make  love 
to  her ;  but  when  she  wants  him  to  get  her 
owu  money  for  her  he  must  have  conscien- 
tious scruples,  and  look  out  for  his  charac- 
ter. Oh,  Mr.  Edgar  Bradford,  that  is  a  gen- 
tleman's honor,  is  it  ?" 

It  must  be  confessed  that  our  Congress- 
man does  not  appear  very  admirable  from 
Josie's  point  of  view,  or  from  that  of  more 
severe  and  less  selfish  moralists.  Still  it  is 
better  that  a  man  should  draw  his  line  some- 
where, though  it  be  on  the  confines  of  official 
business,  rather  than  have  no  line  of  honor 
at  all.  Doubtless  there  are  many  men  like 
Bradford,  who  are  sadlj'  weak  under  temp- 
tations arising  from  temperament,  but  abso- 
lutely unimpeachable  in  all  matters  of  pub- 
lic trust. 

"  I  inclose  your  papers  for  you  to  act  upon 
them  as  you  see  fit,"  the  letter  went  on. 
"  But  let  me  beg  of  you  once  more  to  lay 
the  aff'air  before  your  noble  old  relative  and 
natural  protector.  Colonel  Murray.  He  is 
one  of  the  soundest-headed  and  purest-heart- 
ed men  alive,  the  perfect  model  of  an  old  sol- 
dier, an  officer,  and  a  gentleman.  He  can 
give   you  a  reliable  judgment  upon  your 


claim,  not  so  much  as  to  whether  it  could 
be  prosecuted  with  success,  but  as  to  wheth- 
er it  should  be  prosecuted  at  all !" 

"  The  hateful,  horrid  man !"  sobbed  Josie, 
while  tears  dropped  from  her  long  eyelashes. 
"  How  mean  of  him  to  lecture  me  and  scold 
me,  instead  of  helloing  me !  I  won't  consult 
the  colonel  about  it;  he  is  just  the  man  I 
don't  want  to  consult.  Oh,  Mr.  Edgar  Brad- 
ford, to  think  that  you  should  treat  me  so ! 
The  man  that  a  woman  wants  to  like  best 
is  always  the  man  to  make  her  cry." 

Yes,  she  was  actually  sobbing  and  cry- 
ing, and  meanwhile  her  cheeks  were  hot 
enough  with  mortification  to  dry  her  tears, 
and,  on  the  whole,  she  was  an  object  to  move 
almost  any  man's  pity.  Could  she  have  gone 
just  as  she  was  to  every  Congressman,  she 
might  have  had  her  claim  voted  through  by 
acclamation.  Had  Bradford  seen  her,  he 
would  surely  have  been  moved  to  compunc- 
tion at  making  such  return  for  a  kiss  which 
he  had  no  right  to  take,  and  which,  there- 
fore, from  his  loose  j)oint  of  view,  was  the 
greater  gift. 

Josie  crumpled  the  letter  into  a  lump,  and 
threw  it  across  the  room.  Then  she  ran  af- 
ter it,  picked  it  up  almost  tenderly,  rubbed 
out  its  creases  carefully,  and  read  it  through 
again.  She  tried  to  find  some  sweetness  in 
it,  but  there  was  none ;  there  were  apology 
and  pleading  enough,  but  no  real  sweetness. 
It  scolded  her,  it  told  her  that  she  was  try- 
ing to  swindle  the  Government,  and  it  pos- 
itively refused  to  aid  her  in  the  swindle. 
Rummage  through  it  as  eagerly  as  she 
might,  she  only  found  disappointment  and 
humiliation.  She  had  hoped  that  Bradford 
liked  her,  and  was  on  the  point  of  seriously 
beginning  to  love  her;  but,  if  that  were  the 
case,  he  certainly  would  not  fail  to  aid  her 
when  she  so  much  needed  aid.  Such  was 
her  womanly  inference. 

"  I  don't  believe  he  ever  cared  for  me,"  she 
whimpered.  "  Oh,  I  was  such  a  fool  to  let 
him  talk  and  whisper  to  me!"  she  added, 
fairly  grinding  her  teeth  in  remorse  and 
shame.  "  And  what  have  I  got  by  it  ?  Now 
he  really  doesn't  respect  me,  and  he  never 
will  really,  really  care  for  me,  and  I  never 
shall  have  the  first  chance  to — to —  I  don't 
know  whether  I  would  refuse  him  or  take 
him." 

Then  she  threw  herself  on  her  bed,  and 
sobbed  over  her  troubles,  poor,  pretty  little 
sufiierer,  for  several  minutes.  At'Un-  a  while 
the  wrath  in  her  heart  was  all  sobbed  out, 
and  her  instinctive  desire  to  bo  liked  re- 
sumed its  full  dominion. 

Once  more  she  read  the  note,  no  longer 
vindictive  about  it,  but  more  full  of  yearn- 
ing than  ever.  Was  Mr.  Bradford — was  Ed- 
gar, she  phrased  it  to  herself — was  ho  angry  ? 
Why  did  he  address  her  through  the  cold 
medium  of  pen  and  paper,  instead  of  coming 
to  her  ?     It  looked  as  though  he  proposed  to 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF, 


63 


keep  at  a  distance  from  her  forever  after.  It 
•was  dreadful.  Slio  had  lost  a  dear  friend, 
and  perhaps  a  lover;  and  oven  tlio  claim 
was  hardly  worth  that.  She  pictured  to 
herself  at  length  how  differently  she  would 
have  taken  his  refusal  if  he  had  only  commu- 
nicated it  to  her  in  jjcrson,  meanwhilo  look- 
ing kindly  into  her  face  -with  his  handsome, 
meditative  hazel  eyes,  and,  it  might  bo,  hold- 
ing her  hand  in  his.  She  could  have  borne 
it  then,  and  even  liked  him  the  better  for 
such  a  sweet  interview,  and,  perhaps — 
though  not  certainly — might  have  given  up 
the  claim.  But  he  had  not  come  in  that  an- 
gelic fashion,  and  it  was  woefully  possible 
that  ho  never  would  come  at  all.  At  last 
she  sprung  up,  hurried  to  her  writing-table, 
and  scrawled  him  a  darling  note.  It  will  be 
perceived  from  all  this,  that,  although  Brad- 
ford is  not  a  praiseworthy  person  in  our  eyes, 
he  was  very  admirable  and  attractive  in 
the  eyes  of  Josie,  partly  because  sho  was  less 
fastidious  as  to  character  than  she  ought  to 
have  been,  and  partly  because  she  had  long 
been  more  or  less  in  love  with  him. 

"My  dear  Friexd" — her  epistle  ran — 
""Why  did  you  not  take  the  kind  trouble  to 
tell  me  all  that  with  your  own  kind  lips  ? 
It  would  have  been  so  much  more  friendly 
on  your  part,  and  I  should  have  understood 
every  thing  so  much  better,  and  without  the 
worry  of  long  pondering  over  it.  I  do  hope 
that  you  will  call  to  see  me  soon,  if  only  to 
assure  me  that  you  are  not  annoyed.  Cor- 
dially, your  friend,  Josie." 

"  There  !"  she  said,  breathing  forth  a  last 
little  faint  seraph  of  a  sob  as  she  sealed  the 
envelope  with  her  rosy  lips.  "And  now  that 
horrid  Mr.  Drummoiid  must  have  the  papers, 
or  that  horrid  old  HoUowbread," 


CHAPTEE  XVIII. 

GLORY  IN  SOCIETY,  AND  REPROOF  AT  HOME. 

Before  Bradford  received  Josie's  note  he 
had  been  able,  by  dint  of  reflecting  on  the 
sinfulness  of  lobbying,  and  on  the  beauty  of 
virtue  in  official  business,  to  harden  his  heart 
against  her  in  quite  a  meritorious  fashion. 

So  he  treated  her  cruelly,  and,  at  the  same 
time,  one  is  grieved  to  add,  slyly,  after  the 
manner  of  statesmen,  perhajis.  He  wrote  a 
reply,  s.ayiug  kind  things  and  promising  to 
call  promptly ;  then  he  willfully  broke  his 
agreement  and  staid  away  for  some  days; 
then  he  dropped  in  at  the  Murrays'  when  he 
knew  she  was  out.  Thus  a  fortnight  or  so 
elapsed  before  she  got  another  chance  at  him 
alone. 

Meantime  she  plunged  all  over  in  Wash- 
ington societj',  and  made  a  really  notable 
splash  and  uproar  in  it.     During  one  si^ecial 


week,  surely  remarkable  enough  to  deserve 
mention,  sho  attended  twelve  parties,  made 
at  least  thirty  calls,  and  received  more  than 
I  dare  state.  The  rector  and  his  wife  never 
went  out  with  her  by  night  after  their  mar- 
tyrdom at  the  President's,  having  learned 
sufllcient  wisdom  there  to  last  a  thought- 
ful old  couple  for  one  winter,  if  not  longer. 
The  colonel  escorted  her  to  three  parties,  and 
tlien  retired  on  his  hard-won  laurels,  remark- 
ing that  he  hoped  his  next  scrimmage  would 
be  with  Indians,  and  that  he  would  rather 
lose  his  scalp  than  his  wits.  After  tiiat  Josie 
campaigned  it  chielly  with  Mrs.  Warden  and 
Belle  ;  sometimes,  however,  with  Mrs.  Sena- 
tor Ironraan,who  took  an  uncommon  fancy 
to  her,  and  used  her  to  eclipse  and  huff  her 
own  private  rival,  Mrs.  John  Vane  ;  also,  on 
two  or  three  occasions,  she  went  with  gentle- 
men of  known  staidness  and  respectability, 
such  as  Mr.  HoUowbread  and  Mr.  Smyler. 

Thanks  to  her  beauty,  her  amusing  con- 
versation, and  the  rei)ute  of  her  Murray  rela- 
tives, she  sprung  at  once  into  currency,  and 
even  into  request.  Furthermore,  she  was 
greatly  helped  by  exaggerated  reports  of  her 
wealth,  which,  as  it  were,  blew  trumpets  be- 
fore her,  and  prepared  the  way  for  her  com- 
ing. She  Avas  commonly  spoken  of  as  the 
rich  young  widow,  and  her  poor  six  thou- 
sand of  dollars  was  promptly  magnified  into 
sixty  thousand,  and  even  into  sums  far  vast- 
er. The  world  loves  to  believe  in  money, 
and  stamps  a  great  deal  of  it  out  of  tho 
waste  paper  of  its  imagination ;  indeed,  if 
we  could  examine  thoroughly  into  the  sol- 
vency of  our  fellow-beings,  we  should  stare 
to  see  how  many  purely  fabulous  fortunes 
there  are.  No  doubt  the  fictions  concerning 
Josie's  opulence  arose,  in  part,  from  the  ru- 
mors concerning  her  claim. 

Of  this  she  spoke  to  many  persons,  al- 
ways in  confidence ;  and  they  naturally 
mentioned  it  to  many  others,  more  or  less 
confidentially,  and  therefore  more  or  less 
vaguely;  and  thus  the  tale  of  it  both  spread 
widely  and  got  enormously  misreported. 
Peoxilo  said  that  she  would  be  richer  than 
Mrs.  Gaines ;  that  by  rights  she  owned  more 
than  half  of  Beulah  County ;  that  the  Gov- 
ernment owed  her  "simplj-  millions." 

]Mrs.  John  Vane,  who  was  a  lovely  woman 
of  the  greedy,  extravagant,  envious,  spiteful 
sort,  loudly  declared  that  it  was  perfectly 
wicked  in  Airs.  JIurray  to  bleed  the  Treas- 
ury in  this  frightful  fashion,  when  sho  al- 
ready had  more  money  than  she  could  spend. 
Mrs.  Warden,  anxious  about  her  own  claim, 
almost  feared  lest  there"  should  be  no  legal 
tenders  left  after  Josie's  exorbitant  demands 
had  been  satisfied. 

In  short,  the  belief  in  our  heroine's  afflu- 
ence, present  and  to  come,  was  general,  and, 
one  may  say,  enthusiastic.  Yet  she  was  a 
social  favorite,  as,  indeed,  very  wealthy  peo- 
ple are  ai)t*to  be,  especially  when  they  are 


G4 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


beautiful  aud  good.  A  call  from  her,  or  even 
a  simple  card,  sufficed  to  briug  her  auy  invi- 
tation she  wanted  ;  and  ere  long  the  printed 
billets  on  satin  paper  looked  her  up  in  such 
numbers  that  she  could  not  possibly  attend 
to  them  all ;  for  the  most  energetic  and  able- 
bodied  of  young  women  can  hardly  manage 
three  parties  of  an  evening. 

Meanwhile  she  picked  up  acqiiaintances 
everywhere  aud  in  every  fashion.  She  got 
herself  introduced  to  notabilities,  and  talk- 
ed to  them  so  brightly  that  they  could  hard- 
ly help  being  interested  in  her  ;  or,  if  talk- 
ing did  not  seem  to  impress  their  great  na- 
tures sufficiently,  she  made  her  wonderful 
eyes  at  them.  Sloreover,  if  some  demigod 
seemed  to  have  forgotten  her,  she  had  no 
diffidence  about  speaking  first,  repeating  her 
name  with  a  sweet  smile,  and  saying,  "  So 
delighted  to  meet  you  again !" 

However,  very  few  new-comers  in  Wash- 
ington have  the  luck  to  be  so  easily  recol- 
lected aud  so  generally  welcomed  as  Josie. 
Within  a  fortnight  of  her  arrival  she  was  ac- 
quainted with  two  or  three  great  generals, 
two  or  three  members  of  the  Cabinet,  quite 
a  number  of  leading  wire-pullers  and  rail- 
roaders, and  nobody  knows  how  many  Con- 
gressmen. 

We  can  not  possibly  follow  her  closely 
through  all  this  turmoil  of  combat  and  glo- 
rj'.  We  must  imagine  her  plume  and  pen- 
non as  waving  in  the  forefront  of  fashiona- 
ble battle,  beyond  the  boldest  rivalry  of  our 
ambition,  and  almost  indistinguishable  to 
our  sight.  It  would  take  volumes  to  re- 
count her  sayings  and  doings,  yea,  and  her 
mere  sufferings,  during  that  memorable  sea- 
sou.  It  was  noble,  tough,  wearing  work,  and 
it  was  performed  maguificently. 

But  we  must  not  tail  to  state  that  amidst 
all  her  flirtings  and  flauntiugs  she  did  not 
forget  her  claim.  She  urged  it  upon  many 
lawgivers,  and  gained  not  a  few  supporters 
for  it.  To  be  sure,  Mr.  HoUowbread  had  the 
papers ;  yes,  she  had  finally  given  them  to 
the  loving  HoUowbread.  But  she  had  con- 
trived to  propitiate  Mr.  Drummond  for  this 
slight,  and  to  keep  him  interested  in  her  wel- 
fare, as  well  as  scores  of  others. 

Meantime  she  had  troubles  at  home.  It 
did  seem  hard  that,  when  she  was  laboring 
so  terribly  and  succeeding  so  splendidly,  the 
elder  Murrays  should  exhibit  dissatisfaction. 
But  they  coukl  not  help  feeling  discontent, 
nor  keep  it  from  showing  in  those  worn  faces 
of  theirs,  the  exponents  of  fragile  health  and 
sensitive  nerves. 

Accustomed  for  many  years  to  a  lium- 
drum  tranquillity,  the  advent  of  excitement 
made  them  unwell,  and  consequently  unhap- 
liy.  It  was  truly  dreadful  for  them  to  see  a 
member  of  their  household  rolling  off  every 
evening  in  the  chariots  of  f\ishion,  to  return 
only  in  the  revered  small-hours  of  the  morn- 
ing.   It  was  equally  awful  for  them  to  note 


the  swarms  of  visitors,  nearly  all  tuiknown 
to  them,  worldly  ladies  and  still  worldlier 
gentlemen,  who  invaded  the  hitherto  priv- 
ileged sanctity  of  their  home,  and  stirred  / 
with  loud  conversation  the  drowsy  heat  of 
their  parlor. 

Old  Mrs.  Murray  jerked  and  twitched  at 
every  ring  of  the  door  -  bell,  as  if  the  wire 
thereof  had  been  affixed  to  her  own  gossa- 
mer auatomj\  Meantime  the  i-ector  groaned 
and  fretted  by  her  side,  and  could  not  pro- 
ceed with  the  jog-trot  composition  of  his  ser- 
mons. As  for  himself,  he  could  endure  hard- 
ness, he  nobly  declared  ;  but  how  was  his  be- 
loved Huldah  to  survive  such  an  everlasting 
racket  ?  Now  and  then  he  hurried  rheumat- 
ically  to  the  door,  and,  with  a  horror  which 
is  pitiable  when  one  considers  the  feeble- 
ness which  caused  it,  exclaimed  in  a  hoarse 
whisper, 

"  My  dear,  there  is  another  caller !" 

"  I  know  it,"  Mrs.  Murray  would  reply, 
with  a  convulsed  smile,  at  the  same  time 
throwing  up  both  her  hands,  so  thin  and 
veined  that  they  reminded  one  of  cobwebs. 
"  I  don't  see  how  she  can  bear  it." 

"  I  don't  see  how  you  can  bear  it.  I  must 
speak  to  her.  I  must  and  will  stop  this 
abominable  rioting,"  insisted  the  hyperbol- 
ical rector. 

"Oh,  let  her  go  on  —  do,  Mr.  Murray,  let 
her  go  on,"  begged  the  old  lady,  still  retain- 
ing some  womanly  reverence  for  the  toils  and 
triumphs  of  society.  "  The  season  will  soon 
be  over.     Then  I  hope  she  will  settle  down." 

"I  don't  believe  Miss  Topsyturvy  ever 
can  settle  down,"  asserted  the  rector,  who 
was  much  given,  by-the-way,  to  clapping 
nicknames  on  to  people.  "  She  will  never 
settle  until  the  sexton  has  taken  charge  of 
her,"  he  added,  with  the  humor  of  a  man  to 
whom  funerals  are,  iu  a  manner,  business. 

"  Well,  we'll  see,  Mr.  Murray — we'll  see," 
says  madam,  her  gray  head  and  wilted  body 
bobbing  about  nervously. 

She  was  just  a  little  like  a  jack-in-the- 
box,  after  one  of  his  leaps  for  freedom,  so 
alarming  to  small  youngsters. 

It  will  be  perceived  that  ISIrs.  Murray  was 
agitated  by  conflicting  emotions  and  desires. 
This  tiutinnabulating  run  on  her  door-bell, 
and  this  almost  scandalous  swarming  of 
strangers  to  her  parlor,  and  these  nocturnal 
absences  of  the  pet  lamb  of  her  little  fold, 
were  all  circumstances  very  trying  to  her 
nerves,  but  also  savory  to  her  curiosity. 

Who  was  who,  and  which  was  the  other, 
and  what  they  said,  aiul  did,  and  related, 
were  questions  which  held  licr  mind  awake 
all  day,  and  kept  her  diary  running  a  full 
stream.  After  every  visit  or  party,  Josie 
had  a  history  to  pour  into  her  ears,  so  fresh, 
so  fluent,  so  abundant,  so  sparkling  with 
humorous  description  and  obsei'vation,  that 
the  venerable  dame  would  sit  for  an  hour  to 
listen  aud  laugh  till  she  cried. 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


65 


Tbcu  came  the  tlcliglitfiil  task — the  ira- '  uttered  a  ])laint.  "  How  can  you  be  so  sen- 
posed  duty  of  youth,  -uhich  had  been  rou-  ^  sitive  ?  Well,  if  that  is  the  case,"  she  sa- 
dered  a  pleasure  through  long  iiorforinancc  gacionslj-  added,  ''  perhaps  you  had  better 
— the  truly  couscientious  though  trivial  la-    drop  her  a  hint." 


bor — of  setting  down  at  least  a  summary  of 
these  marvels  in  her  note-books. 

She  had  i)retty  sharp  writing  to  keep  up 
with  the  incessant  overflow  of  matter  ;  per- 
haps no  reporter  in  either  house  of  Congress 
was  driven  so  hardly.     Eyes,  too,  were  dim, 


"  I  shall  certainly  give  Miss  Topsyturvy 
a  ])iecc  of  my  mind,"  declared  the  rector, 
rutlling  up  with  chicken-hearted  ferocity. 

"  Now,  do  be  gentle  with  her,  Mr.  Murray. 
You  are  so  harsh  witli  people  when  you  go 
at  them!      Do  consider  that  she  is  young 


even  with  the  best  of  gold  eyeglasses  ;  fin-  and  must  have  society,  and  can't  help  goinj 
gers  were  tremulous  and  easily  fatigued  ;  to  parties,  they  are  all  so  crazy  after  her. 
the  handwriting  laboriously  neat.  Her  his-  j  Why,  I  never  saw  any  body  take  people  so," 
tory  of  those  times  amounted  to  little  more  she  added,  with  no  little  pride  in  the  fact, 
thau  a  catalogue  of  names — a  directory,  so  "Now  you  nuist  not  be  severe  with  her, 
to  speak,  of  Josie's  visiting-places,  and  en-  Just  tell  her  it's  better  for  her  health  not  to 
tertainers,  and  callers.  The  rest — what  was  go  out  so  often  and  stay  so  late.  As  for 
said  and  done — als(j  who  said  it  and  did  it  gentlemen  coming  to  see  her,  why,  we  can't 
— she  strove  and  hoped — vainly  hoped — to  '  shut  the  door  in  their  faces." 
remember.  "  I  think  I  shall  speak  to  her  of  her  card- 

Well,  worrying  as  all  this  was  to  the  old  playing,"  said  the  clergyman,  quailing  be- 
lady,  it  was  correspondingly  occupying  and  fore  his  duty  as  he  approached  it,  and  look- 
amusing.  She  could  not  decide  that  she  |  ing  for  some  little  and  easily-handled  tip- 
wanted  the  parties  and  calls  to  stop,  or  even  '  end  to  it.  "She  i)layed  cards  the  other 
to  diminish  —  at  least,  not  yet;  and  so  she  i  night  in  my  parlor!  I  never  heard  of  such 
let  them  go  on,  having  all  the  "  particulars"  ^  au  outrage  in  my  life.  Played  whist  in  my 
narrated  to  her,  and  committing  what  she  parlor,  and  asked  me  to  take  a  hand  ?" 
could  to  the  custody  of  iiaper.  j      Mrs.  Murray  threw  up  her  arms  and  drop- 

But  before  long  her  watchful  and  tender   pad  them  in  a  curiously  quick,  jerking  way. 


husband  believed  that  he  had  cause  to  inter- 
fere. His  wife,  as  it  seemed  to  him,  was  in 
danger   of  simply  gossiping  and  diaryiug 


reminding  one  of  the  gesture  of  a  dancing- 
jack  when  his  string  is  pulled  slightly. 
The  rector,  we   must    explain,   honestly 


herself  out  of  the  world.  Now,  she  was  all  hated  card-playing,  and  often  indulged  in 
in  all  to  him  ;  he  loved  her  tenderly,  devo-  old-fiishioned  denunciation  of  it.  He  burst 
tedly,  beautifully;  strange  as  this  may  forth  into  one  of  those  hyperboles  now,  as  if 
6e"m,  it  is  solemnly  true.  To  this  wife,  to  strengthen  his  tottering  determination  to 
who  was  fifteen  years  his  senior,  this  cod-    scold  Josie. 

dling  man  clung  with  a  brooding,  petting  j  "A  man  who  plays  cards  will  gamble, 
affection  such  as  few  young  husbands  grant  and  a  man  who  gambles  will  steal,"  and  a 
to  blooming  brides  of  tweutj'.  |  man  who  steals  will  commit  mnrder,  and  all 

Josie  Murray,  in  her  happiest  days,  never   snch  shall  have  their  part  in  the  lake  of  fire 
won  such  a  treasure  of  love  as  the  nature  of    and  brimstone." 

the  rector  obliged  him  to  lavish  on  his  veu-  I  "  Lake  of  fire  and  brimstone,"  mechan- 
erable  partner.  He  could  not  see  her  grow  ically  repeated  Mrs.  Murray,  after  her  man- 
weary  and  shaky  from  any  cause  without  ner  of  saying  ditto  to  her  husband,  particu- 
rushing  to  the  rescue.  At  the  same  time  larly  when  he  sermonized, 
he  had  not  the  heart  to  say  to  his  Huldah,  '  Then  the  rector  laughed  a  little,  as  if  to 
'•  You  are  breaking  down,  and  I  must  stop  say  that  he  had  somewhat  overstated  him- 
it- '  i  self,  and  did  not  mean  very  strong  brim- 

That  would  be  a  hint  that  she  was  aging ;    stone, 
it  would  hurt  her  feelings,  and  might  alarm  j      He  was  naturally  given  to  exaggeration, 
her,  and  might  kill  her;  and,  consequently,    and  it  often  took  on  a  humorous  character, 
such  an  idea  must  not  be  so  much  as  sug-  \  Apparently  he  was  aware  of  his  propensity 


gested. 

What  he  did  was  to  commence  fretting  at 
Josie's  dissipations  as  being  irritating  and 
harmful  to  himself.     He  could  not  bear  it ; 


to  extravagance  of  statement,  and  sought  to 
give  it  a  rational  air  by  cloaking  it  with 
jocoseness.  Under  strong  excitement,  how- 
ever, he  sometimes  became  seriously  and  a  i- 


he  was  sufferiug  for  want  of  sleep  and  tran-  olently  hyperbolical,  aiul  uttered  declara- 
quillity  of  mind ;  he  was  the  weak  one  who  '  tions  which  would  rouse  denial  in  a  lunatic 
needed  peace,  and  must  have  it.  asylum. 

"I  shall  go  stark  mad,  Huldah,  if  this  sort  Well,  the  result  was  that  something,  a 
of  thing  continues,"  he  stated,  in  great  ex- 1  very  gentle  and  roundabout  something,  was 
citement.  said  to  Josie  in  reference  to  whist.     Did  she 

"Why,  Mr.  Murray!"  giggled  the  old  lady,  flare  up  in  rebellion,  or  even  argue  for  her 
quite  pleased  that  he  should  make  such  a  fire-aud-brimstone  diversion  ?  Those  who 
confession  of  feebleness,  while  she  had  not .  could  suppose  such  a  thing  of  her  would 


Go 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


thereby  show  themselves  little  acquainted 
■with  her. 

"It  shall  not  be  done  again,  my  dear  tin- 
cle,"  she  said,  with  the  sweetness  of  a  good 
little  child.  "  It  never  occurred  to  me  that 
you  would  consider  it  wrong." 

"  Oh,  I  don't  think  that  there  is  auy  thing 
wicked  in  the  cards  themselves — mere  bits 
of  pasteboard !"  returned  the  rector,  looking 
a  little  foolish  over  his  easy  victory.  "  It  is 
just  the — well,  the  name  of  the  thing — that's 
about  it,  you  know.  And  yet  I  must  say 
that  I  don't  quite  like  them,"  he  concluded, 
remembering  that  he  really  did  not  like  them. 

So,  the  scandal  of  whist-playing  in  the 
Reverend  John  Murray's  house  came  to  an 
end.  But  the  party-going,  aud  the  staying- 
out  nearly  all  of  nearly  every  night,  and  the 
influx  of  numberless  uncertified  gentlemen, 
continued  as  vigorously  as  ever.  The  rector 
resolved  each  day  that  he  would  reprove 
Josie  concerning  these  matters,  also,  seeing 
that  they  were  worldly,  if  not  downright  un- 
go^Jly,  in  themselves,  and  injurious  to  Hul- 
dah.  But,  although  he  Avas  much  given  to 
putting  on  airs  of  grimuess,  for  instance,  oft- 
en boasting  how  he  would  govern  and  whip 
children,  if  he  were  so  unlucky  as  to  have 
any,  he  was  at  bottom  such  a  soft-hearted 
aud  likewise  rather  timorous  man,  that  he 
could  not  for  a  long  time  bring  himself  up 
to  the  scratch  of  his  present  duty. 

Thus  Josie  did  not  lack  for  recreations, 
and  those  of  a  very  occupying  nature.  She 
was  engaged  at  once  in  twanging  the  bow 
of  love  aud  in  driving  the  chariot  of  i)olitics; 
aud  meanwhile  she  was  followed  by  a  whole 
herd  of  "wheel-horses"  and  "war-horses," 
all  more  or  less  eager  to  pull  in  her  harness. 

And  now  we  must  relate  how  she  came  to 
put  her  claim  into  the  unwilling  but  unre- 
t'usiug  hand  of  Mr.  Hollowbread. 


CHAPTER  XIX. 

MR.  nOLLOWBREAD'S  SPIRITUAL  DECADENCE. 

"  He  comes  not,  he  comes  not,  aud  I  don't 
know  what  to  do,"  Josie  had  confided  to 
Mrs.  Warden,  three  days  after  her  unavail- 
ing note  to  Bradford. 

"  My  dear,  I  told  you  not  to  trust  to  him," 
answered  Belle's  mother,  biding  her  satisfac- 
tion with  difficulty.  "  Of  all  mj'  Congres- 
sional friends,  he  is  the  most  completely  un- 
satisfactory in  matters  of  business,"  she  add- 
ed, referring  to  private  appropriations. 

"  I  don't  care  a  bit  for  him  personally," 
fibbed  Josie,  guessing  at  Mrs.  Warden's  ma- 
ternal jealousy.  "  Ho  used  to  bo  a  beau  of 
mine,  but  I  ])referred  jjoor  Augustus,"  she  de- 
clared, pulling  a  suitable  fiico  over  the  nieiii- 
ory  of  that  departed  darling.  "  But  I  would 
like  to  have  a  man  of  his  character  and 
ability  to  help  me  in  collecting  my  money." 


"Xohodij  can  get  him  to  collect  money  out 
of  the  Government,"  snapped  the  elder  lady, 
turning  quite  tart,  as  she  remembered  how 
vainly  she  had  begged  Bradford  to  forward 
her  own  begging  suit.  "  He  has  a  high  and 
mighty  ambition  to  deal  only  with  great 
questions,  and  to  get  the  name  of  being  an 
unbribable  statesman,  like  Charles  Sumner. 
I  must  say  again  that  I  don't  believe  he  will 
ever  do  a  thing  for  you.  Of  course  your 
claim  is  a  just  one  —  every  bit  as  just  as 
mine,"  she  good-naturedly  conceded,  not  be- 
lieving it  one  tittle.  "  But  Mr.  Bradford 
hates  the  very  name  of  si)ecial  appropria- 
tions. Frankly,  now,  you  may  as  well  give 
him  up.  You  must  do  like  the  Queen  of 
England.  When  Mr.  Disraeli  won't  answer, 
she  sends  for  Mr.  Gladstone." 

Evidently  Mrs.  Warden's  moral  constitu- 
tion was  not  of  that  rare  kind  which  breaks 
down  under  other  people's  troubles.  The 
briskness  of  her  dark  face  and  the  lively 
glitter  of  her  coal-black  eyes  showed  that 
she  bore  her  rival  claimant's  disappointments 
without  flinching,  and  indeed  with  a  cheer- 
fulness approaching  to  joy,  as  though  capa- 
ble of  much  similar  martyrdom. 

Josie  was  sharp  enough  to  see  this,  and 
for  a  moment  she  felt  justly  mifi"ed  ;  but  she 
formed  a  less  unfavorable  opinion  of  her 
confidante  than  most  persons  would  expect. 
Precociously  clever  in  the  study  of  selfish- 
ness, she  was  not  accustomed  to  expect  abun- 
dant and  tender  sympathy  from  any  one,  un- 
less indeed  that  one  were  a  man  of  the  love- 
making  age. 

"Yes,  I  shall  have  to  get  another  prime 
minister,"  she  laughed,  with  an  agreeable 
sense  that  the  task  would  not  be  hard. 

In  response  to  this  burst  of  gay  confidence 
— the  enviable  confidence  of  youth  and  beau- 
ty and  bellehood — Mrs.  Warden's  eyes  snap- 
ped smartly. 

Really  liking  Josie  as  one  of  her  own  sort, 
and  finding  much  amusement,  for  instance, 
in  seeing  her  flirt  with  twenty  men  at  once, 
she  still  did  not  want  to  have  her  achieve 
solid  triumphs,  whether  pecimiary  or  amo- 
rous. The  thought  that  such  a  thing  might 
be  made  her  twitch  with  jealousy,  both  on 
her  own  account  aud  on  Belle's. 

"  But  don't,  for  mercy's  sake,"  she  put  in — 
don't  take  that  Sykes  Urummond — coarse, 
selfish,  horrid  monster!" 

"  Oh,  of  course  not ;  I  can't  endure  him." 
answered  Josie,  just  about  half  sincere. 

"Because  ho  isn't  trustworthy,"  contin- 
ued Mrs.  Warden,  not  feeling  quite  sure  of 
her  friend's  sincerity.  "  By-the-way,  there 
isn't  one  Congressman  in  ten  who  can  be 
trusted.  One  has  one  weakness,  and  one  an- 
other. Some  are  lazy,  and  some  are  crack- 
ed about  party  politics,  or  statesmanship,  or 
whatever  they  call  it ;  and  some  are  thieves 
— absolute  thieves,  my  dear.  Wliy,  one  im- 
pudent creature  had  the  face  to  oiler  to  take 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


67 


cbargo  of  iny  claim  for — liow  much,  do  yon 
think?  Why,  ouc-half  of  it!  Only  think 
of  the  impudence!  —  one -half  of  my  own 
rightful  money !" 

"Shameful!"  commented  Josic,  right 
heartily. 

"And  Mr.  Drumnioud,  I  very  much  fear, 
is  QUO  of  that  sort,"  declared  INIrs.  Warden. 
"  In  fact,  I  know  it.  IIo  engineered  a  bill 
for  a  poor  old  lady  whom  I  know,  and  took 
nearly  half  of  her  money  for  his  expenses, 
as  he  called  them." 

Josie  again  said  "  Shameful !"  and  mean- 
while pondered.  Though  not  disposed  to 
credit  all  of  her  friend's  statements,  she  did 
give  cousidcrahlo  faith  to  this  one,  for  Mr. 
Drummond  "  looked  like  it." 

"Tliere  is  Honest  John  Vane,"  suggested 
Mrs.  Warden,  remembering  that  that  esteem- 
ed wire-puller  was  a  married  man,  and  so 
of  little  value  to  her  Belle. 

"  I  will  think  of  him,"  murmured  Josie, 
who  had  already  settled  upon  Mr.  Hollow- 
bread,  the  tender,  and  consequently  the  true. 

Of  course  it  is  to  be  understood  that  dur- 
ing the  fashionable  whirl  of  the  last  week 
or  two  she  had  repeatedly  encountered  this 
love-lorn  Lycurgus.  Always  a  society-man, 
Hollowbread  now  went  to  parties  more  than 
ever,  for  the  sake  of  seeing  Mrs.  Augustus 
Murray. 

He  saw  her,  certainly ;  he  fairly  gloated 
and  gormandized  upon  her  beauty  ;  he  was 
more  and  more  bewitched  with  it  for  every 
hearty  meal;  and  by  this  time  he  Avas  most 
uncommonly  in  love.  Such  attentions  as 
were  possible  he  had  paid  her,  though  sadly 
elbowed  and  put  out  by  numerous  rivals, 
some  of  them  greater  men  than  himself,  and 
most  of  them  j'ounger.  More  than  once  he 
had  said,'  with  a  truly  touching  anxiety  to 
utter  something  agreeable,  "  Mrs.  Murray,  I 
trust  the  claim  is  coming  on  well!" 

On  each  occasion  she  smiled  delightfully, 
and  begged  him  to  forgive  her  for  breaking 
her  promise. 

"  I  am  so  fearful,"  she  explained,  "  of  trou- 
bling you  with  a  matter  beneath  your  no- 
tice." 

"Nothing  which  concerns  you  cau  be  un- 
worthy of  my  notice,"  answered  Hollowbread, 
by  this  time  woefully  willing  to  smirch  his 
really  decent  reputation  for  this  siren. 

And  now,  at  last,  judging  that  she  could 
not  do  better  by  herself,  she  sent  for  him, 
and  placed  her  valueless  documents  in  his 
reverential  hands. 

"If  yon  could  be  willing  to  help  me!"  she 
sighed.  "I  have  been  so  timorous  and  so 
slow  about  it  that  I  deserve  to  fail.  Can 
any  thing  bo  done  now?  Is  it  too  late? 
Oh,  even  if  it  is,  don't  say  so  !" 

"Hope  on,  hope  ever,"  said  Mr.  Hollow- 
bread, whose  experience  in  public  speaking 
had  furnished  him  with  a  few  cpiotations. 
"  It  is  never  too  late  to  do  one's  best." 


"  Oh,  you  are  such  a  good  friend !"  ox- 
claimed  Josie,  dindy  aware  that  he  was  mak- 
ing a  sacrifice  of  some  sort  for  her,  though 
not  in  the  least  regretting  it.  "  Do  sit  down 
by  me,  and  let  us  talk  it  over,"  she  added, 
willing  to  reward  his  devotion  with  a  6cra[) 
or  two  of  llirtation. 

Mr.  Hollowbread  seated  himself  near  her 
on  the  sofa,  as  promptly  and  gracefnlly  as 
the  tightness  and  complications  of  his  cos- 
tume permitted.  For  ho  was  in  w^ondrous 
apparel ;  tailoring  had  done  its  adorning  best 
and  its  hampering  worst  by  him  ;  never  was 
a  pursy  gentleman  more  claboratcl}'  and  sol- 
idly bound  in  broadcloth.  We  shall  surely 
be  pardoned  for  dwelling  at  length  upon  a 
toilet  which  was  the  admiration  of  the  great- 
est cutters  and  fitters  of  Washington. 

The  most  remarkable  feature  of  it  was  the 
system  of  machinery  by  which  it  was  held  in 
place.  Coat,  vest,  and  pantaloons  were  fur- 
nished with  x>ads,  straps,  and  springs ;  and  I 
will  not  undertake  to  say  that  there  might 
ndt  have  been  a  few  cog-wheels  and  pulleys. 
It  is  confounding  to  think  what  might  have 
happened  had  this  marvelous  raiment  been 
buttoned  together  and  dropped  on  the  floor. 
It  might  have  buzzed  and  scrabbled  away,  of 
its  own  motion  and  internal  force,  like  a  clock- 
work locomotive.  It  might  have  lounged 
into  a  chair,  and  sat  down  on  the  small  of 
its  hollow  back,  and  put  its  empty  legs  on 
the  mantel-piece.  It  might  have  jumped 
out  of  the  window,  and  set  ladies  a-scream- 
ing,  and  dogs  a -barking.  It  might  have 
taken  a  car  to  the  Capitol,  and  claimed  its 
accustomed  oaken  chair  in  the  Hall  of  Rep- 
resentatives, there  to  play  the  part  of  a  dig- 
nified and  hannless  political  figure-head. 

One  is  lost  in  conjecture  as  to  what  human 
beings  would  do  in  any  of  these  cases. 

W^ould  a  i)oliceman  arrest  it  as  a  vagrant 
without  visible  means  of  existence  ?  Wonkl 
a  sergeant-at-arms  admit  it  to  the  floor  of 
the  House,  or  cash  a  check  for  it  ?  Expe- 
rience and  reason  are  dumb  here,  and  even 
the  imagination  stammers. 

All  this  mechanical  apparatus  was  neces- 
sary to  give  shapeliness  to  the  great  man's 
figure,  and  render  it  a  pleasing  object  for  the 
contemplation  of  the  feminine  eye.  It  did, 
indeed,  accomplish  a  vast  deal  for  him  in  the 
way  of  modeling.  When  he  first  appeared 
to  himself  in  the  morning,  he  was  nearly  as 
dumpy  and  formless  as  the  sculptor's  lump 
of  clay  before  work  has  commenced  upon  it. 
But  by  the  time  his  drapery  was  all  \n\t  on 
and  screwed  up  he  was  a  i)retty  fail-,  though  V 
fat,  old  image.  One  objection  to  the  result 
was  that  the  broad  spaces  of  cloth  which 
he  presented  looked  alarmingly  smooth  and 
tight.  It  seemed  horribly  possible  that,  if 
he  should  cough  or  sneeze  violently,  or  swell 
his  molecules  l)y  going  too  near  a  hot  fire,  he 
might  suddenly  s]>lit  open  and  quadruple  in 
size,  like  a  popped  grain  of  Indian  corn.         -< 


C3 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


But  all  tliese  things  cease  to  be  ludicrous 
when  we  cousider  Mr.  HoUowbread  as  a  po- 
tential statesman,  seraphically  in  love,  and 
satauically  tempted.  It  is  quite  tragical  for 
tax-iiayers  to  think  that  the  hocus-pocus  call- 
ed "special  legislation,"  enables  such  a  leg- 
islator to  juggle  the  dollars  out  of  their  pock- 
ets iuto  the  greedy  i^orte-monnaie  of  such  a 
useless  ornament  to  society  as  Josie  Murray. 
That  is  the  dirty  trick  that  he  was  about  to 
set  his  hand  to,  just  as  surely  as  he  took  his 
seat  on  that  conjuring  sofa. 

"I  have  looked  iuto  my  claim  myself,  and 
I  know  a  great  deal  more  about  it  than 
when  we  tallied  it  over  last,"  declared  Josie, 
proudly. 

"More  evidence?"  iuquii'ed  Mr.  Hollow- 
bread,  cheerfully,  for  he  did  want  the  job  to 
be  nice. 

"Oh  no!  No  more  evidence.  There's 
enough,  isn't  there  ?" 

"Too  much,"  thought  the  Congressman, 
who  had  already  discovered  that  the  claim 
had  been  iiaid  once ;  but  he  only  bowed  and 
smiled. 

"  I  mean  that  I  have  been  learning  how  to 
get  things  through  Congress,"  pursued  Josie, 
with  the  diverting  simplicity  of  a  greenhorn 
undertaking  to  teach  poker  to  the  captain 
of  a  Mississippi  steam-boat.  "I  want  you 
to  put  my  appropriation  iuto  the  Omnibus 
Bill." 

"  You  understand  it  all,  I  see,"  Mr.  Hollow- 
bread  grinned.  "  If  ever  we  let  you  ladies 
vote,  you  will  easily  get  control  of  the  inside 
of  politics,  and  put  us  on  the  outside." 

"Ah,  now  you  are  laughing  at  me.  Of 
course  I  am  aware  that  there  are  mysteries  in 
statesmanship  which  I  never  could  master." 

"  I  am  not  so  sure  of  that,"  said  Hollow- 
bread,  and  quite  honestly.  He  knew  that 
she  was  dangerously  clever  in  some  things, 
and  he  did  not  know  exactly  where  her 
-^cleverness  terminated,  and  in  his  love  for 
her  he  overestimated  her  ca^iacity  of  ex- 
panding. Necessarily  she  was  green  in  pub- 
lic affairs,  and  that  discovery  of  the  Omnibus 
Bill  stratagem  was  amusingly  stale,  but  there 
was  uo  telling  what  she  might  not  learn  if 
she  had  a  chance. 

"  We  are  not  so  monstrously  wise  at  the 
Capitol,"  he  continued.  "  There  was  a  fa- 
mous Swedish  minister  who  sent  his  son 
abroad  on  diplomatic  busiuess,  with  these 
words :  '  Go,  my  son,  and  see  with  how  little 
wisdom  the  world  is  governed.'  Now,  a  cit- 
izen of  this  model  republic  need  not  travel 
for  that  purpose  ;  ho  can  see  it  by  stajing 
at  home,  and  perhaps  see  it  best  so." 

"  Don't  spoil  my  delightful  illusions,"  said 
Josie.  "I  prefer  to  have  faith  in  your  su- 
perhumau  wisdom.  Don't  you  prefer  that  I 
should  ?" 

At  the  same  time  she  made  believe  wor- 
ship him  with  her  elo(pient  eyes,  and  laid 
two  trustful  £ngers  on  his  iirotecting  and 


beneficent  coat-sleeve.  It  is  a  solemn  fact, 
incredible  as  it  may  seem  to  youthful  read- 
ers of  our  history,  that  this  veteran  lawgiver 
and  Lothario  trembled  in  every  vein  under 
the  almost  imperceptible  touch.  No  one  who 
has  not  carefully  studied  such  a  phenome- 
non can  believe  how  desperately  the  old  can 
sometimes  fall  iu  love  with  the  new. 

"My  wisdom  shall  do  its  best  for  you,"  he 
murmured,  iu  such  a  husky,  choked  voice, 
that  she  looked  uj)  at  him  in  sui'prise.  Ac- 
customed as  she  was  to  wield  an  enchanter's 
wand  over  men,  and  to  see  them  quiver  and 
cbange  color  and  become  stifled  uuder  its 
power,  she  could  not  realize  that  she  had 
completely  bewitched  this  sexagenarian. 

"There  is  one  unlucky  circumstance,"  he 
pursued,  clearing  his  throat  with  a  hoarse 
ahem.  "I  am  very,  very  sorry  to  fiud  that 
this  claim  has  been  paid  once." 

"Oh  dear!"  exclaimed  Josie,  opening  her 
eyes  as  if  she  had  never  heard  of  it  before. 

"But  it  was  a  very  small  payment — ri- 
diculously small,  of  course— only  two  thou- 
sand dollars,  interest  included." 

"  Say  it  was  not  enough,  Mr.  HoUowbread. 
Of  course  it  was  not  enough." 

"But  it  won't  do  merely  to  say  that. 
Somebody  must  swear  to  it." 

"  Couldn't  you  swear  to  it  ?"  she  asked, 
with  sublime  faith  iu  the  powers  and  privi- 
leges of  a  Congressman.  Then,  seeing  that 
he  appeared  to  be  stumbled  \)j  the  proposi- 
tion, she  added,  heroically,  "  /  will !" 

"  But  you  arc  not  a  witness,"  he  suggested, 
with  a  patient  smile,  the  long-suffering  smile 
of  affection.  "  This  barn  was  burned  forty 
years  before  you  ever  saw  a  barn." 

Josie  laughed  merrily.  She  took  the  thing 
so  lightly.  He  was  almost  fretted  to  see 
how  gaylj'  she  bore  it,  when  to  him  it  was 
such  a  heavy  burden,  and  might  be  a  dam- 
aging one. 

But  with  those  lustrous  eyes  looking  into 
his  and  cajoling  his  love-lorn  senses,  he  could 
not  show  annoyance  at  her  ignorant,  child- 
like, yet  charming,  levity. 

"  We  must  do  something  else,"  he  said, 
meditating  with  all  his  might. 

"  Perhaps  the  claim  was  paid  iu  paper 
dollars,  not  worth  so  much  as  silver  dollars, 
don't  you  know?" 

"  That  is  exceedingly  clover,  Mrs.  Murray. 
But,  unluckily,  it  fails  iu  various  ways  to 
touch  our  case.  The  claim  was  paid  in  coin 
undoubtedly.  We  shall  have  to  assert  an 
under-valuatiou;  I  see  nothing  else.  But 
the  trouble  will  bo  to  prove  it." 

"  Yes,  and  the  payment  was  for  the  barn 
alone;  and  there  were  the  outbuildings  and 
the  catth^,  and  so  on  ;  they  never  have  been 
paid  for." 

"All  that  would  help,"  assented  Mr.  IIol- 
lowbread,  with  a  sigh,  for  he  was  mortally 
ashamed  of  himself.  This  cooking-up  of 
sham  bills  against  the  Government  was  uu- 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


C9 


familiar  business  to  bini ;  and  lie  had  even 
prided  liimsell'  ou  liaviufiC  evaded  it.  "I 
must  try  to  get  bold  of  your  Jeremiah 
Drinkwater,  and  see  if  bo  remembers  any 
cattle,  outhouses,  and  that  sort  of  thing." 

"  Why,  be  is  au  old  man !"  exclaimed  Josie, 
forgetting  that  her  counselor  was  far  from 
young.  "Ho  must  be  iu  his  second  child- 
hood. If  I  had  him  here,  I  could  make  him 
remember  any  thing,  and  swear  to  any 
thing." 

This  unscrupiilous  frankness  was  all  the 
more  dreadful  to  Mr.  Hollowbread  because 
the  devil  had  already  suggested  the  same 
thought  to  him,  and  he  knew  that  it  was  a 
very  wicked  one.  He  looked  at  her  with  an 
amazed  glance  and  a  perplexed  smile,  and 
theu  replied,  with  cautious  vagueness  : 

"  I  trust  that  Mr.  Drinkwater  will  some- 
Jiow  be  made  useful  to  us.  But  it  really 
does  seem  necessary  to  get  at  him  before  he 
loses  too  much  of  bis  memory — before  he 
forgets  how  to  breathe  and  speak,  for  in- 
stance.    How  can  we  reach  him  ?" 

"  He  lives  at  ilurray  Hill,  Beulah  County, 
just  where  the  battle  was  fought.  Hasn't 
Congress  a  right  to  send  for  persons  and 
papers?"  added  Josie,  making  exhibition  of 
a  term  which  she  bad  caught  from  Sykes 
Druuuuoud. 

"  Congress  doesn't  do  it  very  often  in  the 
case  of  private  claims,"  answered  Mr.  Hol- 
lowbread, smiling  over  this  adorable  igno- 
rance. "  We  shall  probably  have  to  make 
a  pilgrimage  to  the  venerable  Drinkwater 
shrine,  or  ^lay  for  getting  him  here." 

Josie  became  pensive.  She  had  a  woman's 
natural  chariness  about  her  own  money  ;  and 
then  her  income  was  such  a  wretchedly  small 
one — not  enough  to  dress  her  properly! 

Her  admirer  noted  her  trouble,  divined 
the  cause  of  it,  and  made  bold  to  ofier  her 
his  purse.  It  would  be  the  first  step,  be 
sagely  and  hoi>efully  thought,  toward  offer- 
ing his  hand  and  heart. 

"Mrs.  Murray,  pardon  me  one  audacity,'' 
he  said.  "  Until  your  claim  is  established, 
permit  me  to  be  your  banker.  It  is  a  very 
small  thing  to  do;  it  is  constantly  done  in 
such  cases.  In  fact,  there  are  persons  who 
make  it  a  business  to  advance  money  on 
claims,  taking  a  share  of  the  proceeds  iu 
repayment,  and  a  scandalously  large  share, 
too,  I  can  assure  you.  I  don't  want  you  to 
f;ill  into  the  hands  of  those  disreputable 
harpies.  Do,  I  beg  of  you,  let  mo  be  a  con- 
venience to  you  in  this  matter — a  mere  con- 
venience. I  understand  perfectly  that  you 
have  a  handsome  fortune  of  your  own,  and 
don't  in  the  least  need  what  one  would  call 
a  loan,"  he  politely  added,  although  he  bad 
understood  to  the  contrary,  having  cate- 
chised Mrs.  "Warden  concerning  Josie's  es- 
tate, and  got  a  very  low  estimate  of  it. 
"  But  this  is  a  mere  question  of  convenience. 
I  push  the  affair;  I  make  what  payments 


!  are  needed,  keeping  an  account  of  them ; 
1  then,  when  tlio  claim  is  adjusted,  yon,  at 
your  entire  leisure,  repay  me.  What  objoc- 
I  tion  can  you  possibly  have  ?" 

"Oil,  Mr.  Ilollowbread,  you  arc  so  kind!" 
exclaimed  Josie,  blushing  a  little,  partly 
Avith  satisfaction  and  gratitude,  and  partly 
I  because  she  divined  a  coming  demand  for 
something  more  than  a  moneyed  settlement. 
"But  you  must  charge  interest,  Mr.  Hollow- 
bread."  i 

"Oh,  Mrs.  Murray,  interest  from  yon!" 
And  the  noble  old  legislator  and  gallant 
looked  the  image  of  tender  maguauimiry. 
"/  charge  interest !"  he  continued,  laughing 
the  idea  to  scorn.  "  Do  consider  that  I 
ought  not  to  do  it.  I  should  make  myself 
thereby  a  pecuniary  sharer  in  the  trans- 
action, which  would  be  a  sort  of  official  mis- 
demeanor." 

"  Oh !"  giggled  Josie.  "'  How  very  funny  ! 
Well,  we  can  arrange  it  some  way.  I  must 
work  you  several  hundred  pairs  of  slippers." 

"  It  would  be  a  misspent  life  for  you," 
bowed  Hollowbread.  "  I  should  be  over- 
paid with  one  slipjier.  And  I  should  prefer 
it  to  be  one  of  your  own,"  he  declared,  glan- 
cing at  a  visible  toe  of  one  of  her  little  pru- 
nellas. 

"You  shall  have  one,"  she  giggled  again, 
nestling  a  little  closer  to  him,  and  then  rus- 
tling a  little  away.  "  Do  you  really  want 
one  ?"  she  asked,  stooping  and  removing  a 
gossamer  diaitssitre  with  a  black  rosette  in 
it.  "Really?  really?  Theu  you  shall  have 
that." 

Mr.  Hollowbread,  blushing  like  a  bottle 
of  Port-wine  iu  the  sun,  raised  the  fragilie 
gift  to  his  lips  in  silent  adoration,  and  then 
deposited  it  in  the  breast-pocket  nearest  his 
heart,  at  the  risk  of  bursting  off  a  button. 

"  Oh,  Mr.  Hollowbread !"  the  young  siren 
pretended  to  gasp,  at  the  same  time  going 
through  a  form  of  shrinking  coyly  away 
from  him.  It  was  a  girlish  fashion  of  flirta- 
tion, such  as  belles  of  sixteen  are  apt  to 
practice  upon  beaus  of  eighteen ;  and  she 
could  hardly  keep  from  laughing  as  she  drew 
its  frail  shaft  to  the  head  against  this  adorer 
of  sixty.  But  there  was  no  need  of  fear  as 
to  the  effect  of  the  little  trick,  and  there  had 
been  no  need  even  of  using  it.  The  great 
political  financier  and  eloquent  extempora- 
neous speaker  was  already  moved  to  that 
extent  that  he  could  not  speak  for  some  sec- 
onds. The  feeling  of  that  warm  slipper  in 
his  bosom  so  throttled  him  that  he  looked 
as  if  his  neck-tie  ought  to  be  loosened.  He 
called  to  mind  also  how  he  had  once  had  the 
whole  body  of  that  loveliness  in  his  arms, 
and  be  came  very  near  thanking  Heaven 
aloud  for  the  cx(xuisite  pleasure  and  honor 
of  having  been  knocked  flat  by  her. 

Meantime  Josie  had  no  emotions  at  all, 
and  did  not  even  consider  herself  under  any 
great  obligation  to  him,  although  she  re- 


70 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


membered,  aud  remembered  too  "witli  keen 
satisfaction,  that  be  was  to  x^ay  out  bis  mou- 
ey  in  ber  cause.  Had  sbe  uot  offered  bim 
interest,  and  bad  sbe  not  given  bim  ber  slii)- 
per  ?  Moreover,  it  is  so  easy  to  believe  tbat 
others  are  rejoiced  to  serve  ns,  aud  are  fully 
repaid,  for  their  sacrifices  by  tbat  joy,  and 
by  the  coutemplation  of  our  merits. 

"But  we  must  get  at  Mr.  Drinkwater," 
sbe  said  presently",  reverting  to  business  with 
a  facility  which  pained  bim.  "He  is  such 
an  old  man  that  perhaps  he  won't  want  to 
come  on  here.     Ought  I  to  go  and  see  him  f ' 

"But  you  will  want  a  lawyer,"  cunningly 
observed  Hollowbread,  who  Avas  a  lawj-er 
himself.  "  I  might  find  a  chance  for  the 
trij)  during  the  Christmas  recess.  Would  it 
be  possible  for  us  to  meet  there  ?" 

"  We  could  meet  there  if  we  went  in  the 
same  train,"  laughed  the  audacious  Josie, 
saying  to  herself  that  he  was  surely  a  suf- 
ficiently old  gentleman  to  travel  with  jirop- 
erly,  and  that  she  could  bind  bim  to  si- 
lence concerning  the  journey.  Besides,  it 
was  clearly  necessary  that  this  Drinkwater 
business  should  be  attended  to,  and  tbat 
liromptly. 

"  It  will  be  the  best  way,  and  I  shall  be 
infinitely  obliged  to  you,  Mrs.  Murray,"  de- 
clared Mr.  Hollowbread,  in  a  state  of  ecstasy, 
aud  floating  somewhere  between  heaven  and 
earth.  It  actually  seemed  to  him  that  Jo- 
sie Murray,  in  making  that  projposition,  bad 
encouraged  bim  to  offer  himself  as  ber  com- 
panion in  life's  pilgrimage.  How  wonder- 
ful tbat  an  old  Lothario,  who  had  passed  a 
great  iiart  of  bis  life  in  trifling  with  women, 
should  be  so  easily  deluded  by  one!  But, 
Lotharios  or  not,  delicate-minded  gentlemen 
or  not,  we  can  all  be  led  blindfold  if  once 
we  fall  heartily  in  love. 

Thus  bappeued  it  tbat,  Avhile  Josie  long- 
ed to  place  ber  suit  in  the  bands  of  Edgar 
Bradford,  and  while  sbe  had  positively 
promised  it  to  Sykes  Drummoud,  sbe  event- 
ually confided  it  to  Mr.  Hollowbread. 


CHAPTER  XX. 

MR.  DRUMMOXD'S  views. 

But  Christmas  was  only  coming  as  yet, 
and  so  there  was  time  to  be  killed  before 
Josie  could  take  ber  adventurous  journey 
with  Mr.  Hollowbread,  if  indeed,  she  ever 
should  take  it. 

Meanwhile,  as  she  was  going  constantly 
to  parties  and  receptions,  she  could  not  well 
avoid  meeting  the  deceived  Sykes  Drum- 
mond.  <Not  tbat  she  sought  to  avoid  him ! 
No,  no!  Josie  was  no  such  timid  and  awk- 
ward intriguer  as  tbat ;  on  the  contrary, 
she  was  eager  to  fiiul  tbe  young  Congress- 
man and  make  things  right  witli  him. 

In  ber  abundant  dealings  with  our  noble 


but  simple  sex,  she  had  discovered  that  the 
best  way  to  treat  a  man  whom  sho  had  de- 
luded aud  bumbled  was  to  make  a  confes- 
sion of  error  to  bim,  aud  tell  him  sbe  was  "  so 
sorry !" 

In  this  manner  she  kept  her  frieuds  and 
admirers,  more  especially  such  as  were  uot 
worth  keeping.  It  was  an  easy  policy  to 
her,  for  sbe  was  by  nature  remarkably  cool- 
headed,  even-tempered,  aud  averse  to  quar- 
rels, like  many  other  persons  whose  affec- 
tions are  uot  deep,  and  who  are  what  we  call 
false-hearted. 

Thus  it  happened  that  she  was  cordial  to 
her  saturnine  friend  whenever  she  met  bim, 
and  caught  at  tbe  first  opportunity  to  tell 
him  what  mischief  sbe  bad  been  up  to. 

"  I  am  perfectly  delighted  to  have  a  chance 
at  you,"  sbe  said  to  bim  when  they  encoun- 
tered at  tbe  great  and  good  Smyler's  recep- 
tion. "Won't  you  do  me  the  favor  to  con- 
duct me  to  some  lodge  in  this  wilderness 
of  stupidity,  where  I  can  whisper  a  word  in 
confidence  f "  And  when  they  were  as  much 
alone  as  they  could  be  in  Mr.  Smyler's  dread- 
ful jam  of  guests,  sbe  continued,  "  I  have 
got  myself  into  such  trouble  !" 

"  Ob  no  !"  grinned  Sykes.  "  Clever  as  you 
are,  Mrs.  Murray !  It  isn't  possible  !  How- 
ever, I  am  very  credulous,  aud  might  be- 
lieve any  thing  you  say,  if  you  say  it  long 
enough." 

"But  I  am  not  at  all  clever,  Mr.  Drum- 
mond,  aud  I  really  have  made  an  awful 
blunder." 

"  I  wish  I  knew  all  about  it,  Mrs.  Murray." 

"  I  don't  know  that  I  can  tell  you,  I  am  so 
ashamed  of  it." 

"  If  I  were  uot  a  healthy  man,  Jdrs.  Mur- 
ray, I  should  have  a  fit  with  curiosity,  aud 
die  on  the  spot — haw,  haw !" 

"  But  I  assure  you  tbat  it  gives  me  great 
annoyance  and  anxiety.  And  here  you  are 
laughing  at  it !" 

"  Do  let  me  know  what  it  is.  You  shall 
have  floods  of  sympathy." 

"Aud  help,  Mr.  Drummoud  ?" 

"  Word  of  a  Congressman — haw,  haw !" 

"Well — it  is  excessively  annoying  to  think 
of — but  I  have  had  the  folly  to  give  my  pa- 
pers to  Mr.  Hollowbread — tbat  is,  to  let  bim 
coax  them  out  of  me." 

Sykes  habitually  held  a  pretty  firm  bri- 
dle-rein over  his  expression,  but  just  now  be 
could  not  help  sliowiug  that  be  was  consid- 
erably annoyed. 

"  There  were  some  reasons  for  it,"  contin- 
ued Josie.  "  You  see  ho  is  an  old  gentle- 
man— " 

"  Pretty  liard,  that,  on  Hollowbread — haw, 
haw !"  interru])ted  Drunnnond. 

"You  mustn't!"  said  Josie,  pressing  his 
arm  with  ber  own,  as  if  involuntarily. 
"You  shouldn't  laugh  about  it.  A  man  who 
has  lived  as  long  as  lie  has,  has  a  right  to 
be  an  old  gentleman.     But,  scripusly  now. 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


71 


(lou't  you  seo  that  his  age  makes  a  difTer- 1 
euce  to  me  ?     Jly  frieucls  and  family  -would 
be  the  less  likely  to  gvnmblo  at  my  putting  | 
my  claim  in  the  hands  of  a  mau  old  enough 
to  be  my  father." 

"  But  your  enemies,  too,  •would  bo  the  less 
likely  to  grumble.  That  also  is  worth  cou- 
sideration." 

"What  do  you  mean,  Mr.  Drumraond  ?" 

"He  won't  bring  any  thing  to  pass,  Mrs. 
Murray.  lie  can't.  lie  wasn't  boru  to  bring 
any  thing  to  pass.  He  is  an  old  fetich  and 
figure-head  and  wooden  image." 

"Oh,  dear!  And  I  kuew  it!  And  yet  I 
did  it !" 

"  Has  he  actually  got  the  papers  ?"  in- 
quired Sykes,  unable  to  fully  accept  such 
bad  news  at  ouce. 

"Yes,"  whispered  Josic,  as  if  horror-struck. 
"  What  can  I  do  ?" 

"  Get  them  away  from  him." 

"'  I  will.  I  must.  1  will  get  them  just  as 
soon  as  I  can." 

And  yet,  far  from  meaning  to  get  them, 
she  distinctly  purposed  and  intended  to  let 
them  remain  just  where  they  were — at  least 
for  the  present.  She  had  a  plan  iu  her  lit- 
tle head,  and,  by-the-way,  it  may  be  worth 
stating  that  much  of  her  life  was  guided  by 
plans,  although  her  conduct  generally  had 
the  air  of  being  impulsive  and  little  more 
than  instinctive. 

Her  present  project,  however,  was  a  sim- 
ple one,  and  not  greatly  above  the  invention 
of  a  imssy-cat.  It  was  to  keep  Mr.  Drum- 
mond  oi)iated  with  apologies  and  coquetries 
until  it  shonld  appear  plainly  whether  she 
needed  his  help  or  not.  Mr.  Hollowbread 
might  turn  out  a  "fetich,"  and  do  nothing  ; 
or  he  might  labor  hard  and  still  accomplish 
nothing.  Bradford,  the  mau  iu  whom  she 
had  most  hoped,  was  already  a  deserter. 
Wheu  bowstrings  of  that  tried  and  trusted 
sort  failed,  she  could  not  have  too  many  new 
ones  on  hand. 

W^ell,  the  apologies  and  the  coquetries 
did  their  business.  Drummond  was  a  hard 
man  to  keep  iu  harness  wheu  ho  did  not  see 
it  to  be  his  interest* to  stay  there;  but  in 
the  present  case  he  had  a  master-hand  to 
tackle  him,  and  he  could  not  even  desire  to 
kick  out  of  the  traces. 

A  hard  creature  he  was  in  every  way  :  am- 
bitious, seliish,  unsympathetic,  unsensitive, 
tyrannical,  and  cruel ;  greedy  of  power  over 
his  fellow-beings,  and  pleased  to  show  that 
power  by  tormenting  them  ;  a  mau  of  rude 
commands,  scornful  laughter,  coarse  practi- 
cal jokes,  and  blunt  sarcasms.  Persons  of 
his  own  sex  could  exercise  no  inlluence  over 
him,  except  through  downright  suiierior 
might  of  muscle  or  of  intellect. 

As  for  women,  they  had  just  one  hold  on 
him — the  hold  which  a  lioness  has  upon  a 
lion  :  an  appeal  to  his  ravening  passions. 
The  intensity  of  his  nature  iu  this  respect 


ex— -\ 
alk 


appeared  plainly  in  his  hanging  under-lip, 
his  dusky  and  yet  almost  llaming  black 
eyes,  and  his  darkly  pale,  Oriental  comi)lex- 
iou.  A  woman  of  .sensibility  could  not  talk 
with  him  live  minutes  without  feeling  that 
she  was  called  upon  to  engage  in  a  struggle 
of  sex  with  sex  for  the  mastery.  To  some 
such  women  he  was  alarming  and  little  less 
than  h(u-rible,  while  to  others  he  was  alarm- 
ing and  fascinaling.  The  result  of  this 
characteristic  of  temperament  was,  tliat  a 
coquette  of  unusual  ability  could,  to  some 
extent,  rule  him.  Now,  for  pos-sibly  the  first 
time  in  his  life,  he  was  made  a  tool  of  by  a 
woman. 

And  Josie  led  him  without  liking  him, 
which  was  something  to  her  credit.  Flirt 
and  intriguer  as  she  wa.s,  she  had  some  fine 
feminine  traits,  if  we  may  not  even  call  them 
beautiful.  Nature  had  given  her  a  sensibil- 
ity which  was  not  so  much  moral  as  esthet- 
ic or  artistic,  but  which  enabled  her  to  dis- 
tinguish perfectly  between  noble  and  igno- 
ble characters,  and  to  consider  the  former 
"  lovely,"  and  the  latter  "  horrid." 

She  was  exquisitely  capable  of  discover- 
ing and  appreciating  lofty  souls,  and  also 
lofty  features  of  incomplete  souls.  She  ad- 
mired old  Colonel  Murraj-  enthusiastically, 
because  he  had  been  a  brave  soldier  and  an 
honorable  man.  While  she  laughed  at  the 
rector  for  his  whimsical  devotion  to  his  old 
wife,  she  liked  him  for  that  very  devotion, 
and  longed  to  tell  him  so  to  his  face.  Al- 
though Bradford's  aversion  to  swindling 
legislation  stood  in  her  way,  she  respected 
him,  and  was  all  the  more  anxious  to  win 
his  aftection  because  of  it.  For  the  waver- 
ing Hollowbread  she  felt  some  contempt,  and 
for  the  frankly  wicked  Drummond  a  good 
deal  of  dislike. 

True,  she  was  "possessed,"  and  dearly 
loved  to  flirt  with  weak  men  and  naughty  y 
ones,  especially  when  they  could  be  useful. 
But  she  was  too  clever,  too  instinctively 
intelligent  and  artistically  sensitive,  to  be 
much  dazzled  by  them.  They  were  not  as 
fine  as  the  honorable  colonel  and  the  fastid- 
ious Bradford ;  they  would  not  make  such 
loyal  and  puissant  protectors  to  a  woman  in 
the  struggle  of  life  :  of  this  she  was  perma- 
nentlj-  sure,  although  the  surety  did  not  oft- 
en influence  her  choice  of  company.  For 
Josie  was  sadly  controlled  by  that  love  of 
peril,  and  that  monkey-like  desire  to  be  a 
danger  and  a  mischief  to  others  which  we 
have  expressed  by  saying  that  she  was  "  i)os- 
sessed." 

AYell,  the  conversation  between  her  and 
Drummond  continued,  and  of  course  a  cer- 
tain amount  of  coquetry  also. 

"  Tell  me  something  that  is  pleasant,"  said 
Josie.  "  I  have  cried  to-day  over  my  silly 
blunder,  and  I  feel  woefully  low-spirited." 

"I  can  only  tell  you  that  you  don't  look 
as  if  you  had  cried  at  all,"  returned  Drum- 


72 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


moud,  glancing  ■witli  rude  admiratiou  at  the 
lovely  face  wliicb  was  turned  up  to  bis.  "  It 
is  one  of  the  handsome  days  with  you,  as  I 
have  heard  women  put  it ;  of  course,  I  mean 
one  of  the  handsomest  days." 

"  You  are  very  good  to  tell  me  so.  I  get 
so  few  compliments !  Now,  you  being  a 
man  and  a  Congressman,  you  fare  dififerent- 
ly.  You  have  only  to  make  a  sx^eecb  to  see 
your  name  in  all  the  papers." 

"  To  see  it  blackened  in  all  the  papers — 
haw,  haw !  Here  I  have  just  made  a  speech 
against  HoUowbread's  stupid  plan  for  issuing 
more  debased  money,  and  at  least  forty  of 
our  asinine  journals  abused  me  for  it  inside 
of  forty  hours.  Every  quarrelsome  beggar 
who  wanted  some  money  cheap  flew  at  me 
in  print,  or  bribed  his  editor  with  ten  dollars 
to  fly  at  me." 

"  Do  editors  take  ten-dollar  bribes  V 

"  Yes,  and  five  -  dollar  ones,"  declared 
Drummond,  who  was  in  an  ill  humor  with 
the  brotherhood  of  the  Press,  and  disposed 
to  libel  it.  "I  have  repeatedly  got  articles 
inserted  as  leaders  for  that  enormous  com- 
pensation— haw,  haw !" 

Josie's  head  fairly  hummed  with  a  plan 
to  raise  fortj'  dollars  somehow,  and  bribe  the 
Tribune,  Times,  Herald,  and  World  to  come 
out  for  the  claim.  But  she  did  not  forget 
her  womanly  duty  of  entertaining  Mr.  Drum- 
mond, and  she  continued  the  dialogue  with- 
out intermission,  as  became  a  born  and  train- 
ed queen  of  society. 

"You  shouldn't  mind  such  pitiful  criti- 
cism. You  know  you  are  right,  and  you 
shouldn't  mind  a  five-dollar  opposition." 

"Ah!  but  it  tells  all  the  same.  The  mass 
of  the  people  don't  know  how  things  are 
bought  and  sold  inside  jiolitics;  they  take 
the  theatrical  sheet -iron  thunder  for  the 
voice  of  God.  Do  you  remember  Carlyle's 
description  of  the  population  of  Great  Brit- 
ain !  Eighteen  millions  of  people,  mostly 
fools!  It  just  covers  our  ground  —  haw, 
haw !  Tlie  five-dollar  per  column  opposition 
has  its  effect,  and  a  prodigious  effect.  Noth- 
ing can  beat  it  but  an  opposition  at  ten  dol- 
lai's  per  column.  That  is  the  main  reason 
why  we  Congressmen  are  greed^^  for  money. 
We  get  enough  to  live  on,  but  not  enough 
to  bribe  on.  And,  to  bribe  others,  we  nnist 
take  bribes.  I  tell  you,  Mrs.  Murray,  that 
this  state  is  rottener  than  Denmark.  Well, 
there  is  one  comfort,  it  gives  ns  a  chance. 
If  George  Wasliington's  Congress  of  old- 
style,  high -stepping  country  notables  was 
sitting  now,  you  and  I  couldn't  get  our  claims 
through." 

This  was  a  plainness  of  speech  which  Josie 
did  not  relish.  In  a  general  way,  no  wom- 
an wants  to  have  the  mask  stripped  off  from 
things.  If  she  likes  wickedness  at  all,  she 
likes  it  well  covered  and  with  a  fine  com- 
plexion, and  revolts  from  a  clear  showing  of 
the  skeleton  beneath. 


But  Josie  did  not  exhibit  her  artistic  dis- 
satisfaction to  Mr.  Drummond ;  she  only 
said  to  herself  that  he  was  ' '  horrid,"  and 
talked  on  with  a  smiling  face. 

"  I  want  to  get  Mr.  Smyler  to  help  j-ou 
when  you  come  to  put  in  my  bill,"  she  ob- 
served.    "  Do  you  think  I  could  coax  him  s" 

"  You  could  coax  almost  any  body  but 
Smyler.  Mr.  T.  M.  C.  A.  Smyler  is  an  incar- 
nation of  prunes,  prisms,  and  propriety." 

"Oh!"  muttered  Josie,  not  much  pleased 
with  the  insinuation  that  she  was  not  a 
suitable  person  to  influence  proper  men. 

"Mr.  Smyler  can  only  be  coaxed  in  one 
way,"  continued  Drummond,  without  ob- 
serving that  he  had  said  an  uncivil  thing 
and  made  a  disagreeable  impression,  so 
coarse  was  his  spiritual  texture.  "He  nei- 
ther smokes,  nor  drinks,  nor  stays  away  from 
church,  nor  indulges  in  any  other  vice  which 
societies  have  been  formed  to  put  down. 
He  banks  on  his  decency  and  orthodoxy. 
There  is  just  one  method  of  moving  him — 
give  him  a  check." 

"Isn't  it  abominable!"  exclaimed  Josie, 
who  had  no  check  to  give,  and  who  also 
wanted  to  please  the  sarcastic  Drummond. 

"Abominable?  Haw,  haw!  that's  good. 
Why,  it's  the  correct  thing  here,  Mrs.  Mur- 
ray. Congress  doesn't  mind,  because  it  is 
used  to  it;  and  the  sovereign  people  doesn't 
mind,  because  it  doesn't  know  it.  Why, 
look  at  this  prim  Smyler  now,  as  sanctimo- 
nious as  Ananias!  He  has  twelve  hundred 
ever^'  quarter  from  one  contractor  alone,  and 
no  doubt  other  bonuses  which  I  haven't  yet 
discovered,  but  which  all  Congress  more  or 
less  suspects.  Do  we  think  any  the  less  of 
him?  We  can't.  The  people  believe  in 
him,  and  put  him  high  in  authority.  We 
can  only  wonder,  admire,  and  go  and  do 
likewise — haw,  haw ! — hoping  to  be  reward- 
ed in  like  fashion.  There  is  nothing  that 
succeeds  like  success." 

Drummond  honestly  despised  and  hated 
hypocrisy,  and  valued  himself  much  on  that 
contempt  and  that  hate.  But  he  was  far 
from  being  a  good  man,  and  indeed  almost 
his  only  worthy  trait  was  the  frankness  of 
his  wickedness,  if  we  may  apply  the  word 
worthy  to  a  truly  satanic  impudence  of  guilt. 
He  was  a  thoroughly  bad  man,  and  extreme- 
ly injurious  to  people  whoso  morals  were  in 
a  leaky  state,  leading  them  to  believe  that 
their  wrecks  of  conscience  Avere  not  worth 
saving  and  refitting.  It  was  a  bad  sign  for 
his  district  that  it  should  confer  its  highest 
honor  upon  such  an  open-mouthed,  brazen- 
faced sinner.  It  was  a  far  worse  sign  for 
that  district  than  if  it  had  been  deceived 
and  cajoled  into  giving  its  vote  to  the  de- 
mure, bribable  Smyler.  A  hypocrite  at  least 
admits  that  there  is  such  a  thing  as  virtue, 
and  accords  a  sort  of  homage  to  it.  As  long 
as  ho  wears  tlio  mask  of  goodness,  you  may 
honor  goodness  by  honoring  him  ;  but  to 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


vote  for  such  an  niulisgniscd,  l)latant,  Ijrag- 
giug  scoundrel  as  Diuuinioiul  is  very  inucli 
like  voting  oi)eu-cyod  for  the  devil  \vith  his 
horus,  hoofs,  and  tail  on.  It  must  certainly 
have  been  a  very  -wicked  district,  or  else  a 
district  inhabited  mainly  by  idiots,  which 
elected  this  diabolic  youngster. 

"  Do  you  know  I  get  a  little  tired  of  hear- 
ing so  much  about  jiolitics  as  I  do  hear 
in  Washington  ?"  presently  remarked  Josie, 
whose  forte,  we  remember,  was  flirting. 

"Haw,  haw!"  roared  Drummoud.  "So 
hearing  about  hypocrisy  and  bribery  is  hear- 
ing about  politics,  is  it  ?  Well,  that  isn't 
bad  —  that  is  pretty  near  it.  It's  a  good 
enough  shot  to  let  us  quit  the  subject.  Sup- 
pose we  walk  on,  if  you  don't  object  ?  I  am 
prodigiously  proud  of  showing  you  ou  my 
arm." 

"  Then  we  are  a  proud  couple,"  answered 
the  ready  Josic. 

But  she  uttered  the  phrase  with  little 
heart,  for  as  yet  she  did  not  like  Mr.  Drum- 
mond.  Even  the  admiring  gaze  which  he 
bent  upon  her  struck  her  somewhat  unpleas- 
antly, so  rude  and  domineering  and  greedy 
was  it,  so  like  the  stare  of  a  marauding  sol- 
dier in  a  sacked  city,  or  of  a  pirate  aboard  a 
rich  prize.  He  indeed  was  pleased  with  her, 
and  went  on  talking  his  rough  brightest  and 
courtliest.  But  we  will  not  listen  to  him 
further  at  present. 

Mr.  Hollowbread  passed  them,  as  usual  a 
radiant  vision  of  tailoring,  bowing  to  the 
lady  as  tenderly  as  if  he  still  had  her  slipper 
in  his  left  breast-pocket,  and  then  looking 
after  her  cavalier  with  a  countenance  of 
jealous  gloom.  Next  Pendleton  Beaumau 
and  Calhoun  Clavers  went  by  together,  re- 
ceiving between  them  one  of  Josie's  sweetest 
smiles,  a  smile  rich  enough  to  cut  up  like 
a  bridal-cake  and  divide  among  many,  and 
dream  over.  Then  Hamilton  Bray  made  a 
bumptious,  condescending  bow,  and  was  con- 
temptuously stared  at,  not  to  say  grinned  at, 
by  Uf  ummond. 

Black -eyed,  dark-skinned  Mrs.  Warden 
they  saw  in  the  distance,  leaning  on  the 
gaunt  form  of  the  great  General  Bangs,  and 
smirking  almost  hysterically  in  his  hard,  im- 
pudent face,  as  if  she  were  pleading  with 
that  chief  of  all  subtlety  and  swindling  for 
her  own  cherished  swindle.  There  were 
higher  and  worthier  personages,  too ;  there 
were  men  whose  haiuls  had  never  been  soiled 
by  a  dirty  dollar;  there  were  Winthrop  Led- 
yard  of  the  Senate  and  Stuyvesant  Clinton 
of  the  Cabinet,  and  others  of  a  stamp  not  yet 
lost,  thank  Heaven ! 

"And  here  is  your  adorer,"  said  Josie,  smil- 
ing involuntarily  as  she  caught  sight  of  the 
beardless  face  and  manly  costume  of  Squire 
Nancy  Appleyard.  "  Dear  me,  doesn't  she 
look  at  me  savagely !  Don't  let  us  go  near 
her  ;  I  know  she'll  step  on  my  train." 

Miss  Appleyard  was   indeed    staring   at 


them  with  a  fixed,  indignant,  scornful  ex- 
]u-ession  noticeable  to  the  dullest  observer. 
Wliat  made  the  matter  worse  was  that  her 
singular  raiment  rendered  her  very  conspic- 
uous, so  that  she  was  the  mark  of  many  ca- 
rious eyes. 

"See  here,"  said  Drunmiond  to  his  com- 
panion,"! must  stop  this  impertinence  at 
once.  Would  you  object  to  taking  Mr.  Hol- 
lowbread's  arm  while  I  say  a  word  to  that 
young  attorney  ?" 

"  Oh,  certainly,"  assented  Josie,  quite  ex- 
cited with  curiosity,  amusement,  and  per- 
haps a  little  alarm. 

So  Hollowbread  was  beckoned  to  and  made 
happy,  while  Drummond  marched  sternly  up 
to  Squire  Nancy,  obviously  at  that  moment 
a  most  wretched  Bloomer. 


CHAPTER  XXI. 
MR.  drummoxd's  x.'nderstaxdixg  with 

SQUIRE  NA^'CY. 

Brief,  though  animated,  was  the  scene  at 
the  Smyler  reception  between  Sykes  Drum- 
mond and  Squire  Nancy  Appleyard. 

"Will  you  let  me  alone  this  evening  if  I 
will  see  yon  to-morrow  ?"  was  the  abrupt 
and  business-like  and  unamiable  salutation 
of  the  young  Congressman. 

"  You  simply  want  to  get  back  to  that 
Mrs.  Murray  witliout  my  knowing,"  gasped 
Miss  Appleyard,  her  face  turning  from  pallid 
to  crimson  with  the  effort  of  utterance,  for 
she  had  been  scared  out  of  her  breath  by  the 
gentleman's  giim  approach. 

"  I'll  keep  faith  with  yon  for  this  once," 
grinned  Drummond,  as  insolently  as  a  gorilla 
might  grin.  "  I  will  call  at  your  office  to- 
morrow— say  at  five  in  the  afternoon — if 
yon  will  leave  here  at  once.  Good  Lord ! 
what  are  you  standing  in  that  style  for  ?" 
he  added,  impatiently.  "  Take  your  hands 
out  of  your  breeches-pockets,  and  trj'  to  look 
like  a  gentleman  or  a  lady,  one  or  the  other." 

"  You  are  always  quarreling  with  me,"  re- 
sponded the  Squire,  in  a  whimpering  voice, 
which  she  tried  in  vain  to  steady.  "  I  don't 
see  why  you  need  cinarrel  with  mo  so  inces- 
santly." " 

It  was  clear  that  the  poor  young  woman, 
notwithstanding  her  virile  broadcloth  and 
boots,  was  tenderly  love-lorn  and  wretched- 
ly jealous;  and  that,  like  most  persons  in 
such  a  state  of  mind,  she  longed  to  have  her 
love-quarrel  out  and  bring  it  to  a  reconcil- 
iation without  further  anguish  of  delay. 

"  There,  there  I"  said  Drummond,  dreading 
a  judgment  in  the  way  of  a  flood  of  tears. 
"  Don't  cry  before  this  crowd.  If  you  do,  I 
sha'n't.  To-morrow  at  five,  then.  Good- 
evening." 

So  saying,  he  turned  and  left  her,  striding 
through  the  swarming  promeuaders  with  a 


74 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


truculent  look,  as  if  he  might  kuock  down 
the  first  man  who  laughed.  And  the  next 
day  he  kept  his  appointment,  dropping  in 
about  dusk  upon  the  enamoi-ed  jurist. 

Sfiuire  Appleyard's  oiiice  was  a  little  room 
in  the  basement  of  a  commonplace  dwelling- 
house,  situated  on  one  of  the  meanest  side 
streets  which  abut  ou  Pennsylvania  Avenue. 
She  would  have  liked  a  finer  nest  in  a  more 
public  jiositiou,  but  the  means  were  lacking 
to  pay  the  rent  thereof.  Clients  she  had 
none,  a  misfortune  which  she  attributed  to 
the  unjust  fact  that  she  had  not  been  admit- 
ted to  the  bar,  surely  a  sufiicient  reason.  A 
few  elderly  dames,  who  petted  her  for  the 
sake  of  countenancing  the  Cause  of  Woman 
and  of  showing  their  hostility  to  Horrid  Man, 
were  about  the  only  persons  who  ever  visit- 
ed her  sanctum.  They  were  not  capitalists, 
moreover,  and  never  had  any  business  in 
courts  of  law,  and  could  not  have  given  it  to 
her  if  they  had,  because  of  her  disbarred  con- 
dition. 

Thus  Miss  Appleyard  found  her  income  in- 
sufficient even  for  the  modest  style  which 
she  kept  up.  Her  rent  was  sometimes  be- 
hindhaud ;  her  tailor  made  her  clothes  on 
credit,  and  for  the  sake  of  the  advertise- 
ment ;  and  in  her  promenades  she  avoided 
passing  the  door  of  her  unpaid  boot-maker. 
Once  or  twice  it  had  been  necessary  for  the 
revered  dames  aforesaid  to  take  up  a  sub- 
scription for  Squire  Nancy  and  the  Cause. 
And  things  had  gone  ou  iu  this  way  for  many 
mouths,  uutil  they  had  become  quite  discour- 
aging. Appleyard  talked  of  relinquishing 
her  inhospitable  profession,  and  was  secret- 
ly cramming  for  a  clerkship  in  the  Treasury. 
Indeed,  it  is  reported  that  she  once  applied  to 
a  certain  Secretary  for  an  appointment  with- 
out examination,  and  on  being  refused  burst 
maufuUy  into  tears  in  his  horrid  presence, 
and  that  the  Secretary  wept  with  her.  But 
this  tale,  after  careful  dissection  of  its  struc- 
tural iirobabilities,  we  feel  free  to  question, 
at  least  so  far  as  concerns  the  sniveliug  of 
the  Secretary. 

"Well,  Squire  Appleyard's  office  was  as  dim 
and  narrow  as  her  business  prospects.  There 
was  a  bare  floor,  an  open  coal-stove,  two  pit- 
ilessly hard  chairs,  and  a  plain  pine  writing- 
table.  Miss  Nancy  met  her  visitor  at  the 
door  with  a  promptness  and  a  blush  which 
showed  that  she  had  impatiently  awaited 
his  coming,  and  was  only  too  zealous  to  wel- 
come him.  Drunimoud  felt  that  his  hand 
was  pressed,  but  he  took  no  kindly  note  of 
it.  He  tramped  solidly  forward,  seated  hiui- 
self  squarely  in  front  of  the  stove,  leaned 
back  ou  two  legs  of  his  chair,  stared  at  Miss 
Appleyard  with  a  defiant  griu,  aud  said  loud- 
ly, "  Well,  sir,  here  I  am — haw,  haw !"  \/ 

Had  the  room  been  lighter  he  would  have 
discovered  a  tear  in  her  eye,  and  then  he 
might  have  spoken  more  gently.  Still,  ho 
could  see  plainly  enough  that  she  was  a 


woman,  aud  rather  a  pretty  one  than  oth- 
erwise, though  so  oddly  accoutred.  There," 
visible  enough  were  the  sloping  shoulders, 
and  the  rouuded,  pulpy  outlines,  all  signa- 
tures of  a  sex  which  is  clearly  doomed  to 
rely  for  power  upon  its  svtcetness,  rather 
than  upon  its  strength. 

But  Squire  Nancy  did  not  make  much  use 
of  her  saccharine  qualities ;  and  of  strength, 
whether  physical  or  mental,  she  undoubted- 
ly had  no  great  store.  She  had  placed  her- 
self at  a  disadvantage  with  men  in  assuming 
their  costume ;  and  Drummond  was  not  a 
person  to  imagine  her  at  her  best,  or  to  show 
her  any  pity  in  her  eclipse. 

"  I  am  very  much  obliged  to  you  for  com- 
ing," she  said,  iu  her  clear,  contralto  voice, 
and  with  a  propitiatory  accent.  "I  didn't 
use  to  have  to  say  that,"  she  added,  the  voice 
quivering  somewhat.  "  Only  a  few  weeks 
ago  you  could  come  without  asking." 

Drummond  nestled  uneasily  in  his  seat, 
and  maltreated  the  fixe  with  the  poker. 
Hard  and  coarse  as  he  was,  he  felt  that  he 
had  behaved  shabbily  to  this  young  woman 
in  pretending  to  coiu't  her,  and  especially  iu 
counterfeiting  a  desire  to  marrj-  her. 

"  See  here,"  he  broke  out,  "  we  had  better 
have  a  i)rompt  and  plain  understanding  as 
to  what  has  been,  and  what  is  to  be.  Do 
you  want  to  have  me  state  the  facts  ?" 

"  Go  on,  Sykes,"  answered  Miss  Nancy, 
seating  herself  in  the  vacant  chair,  and  look- 
ing at  him  kindly,  almost  happily,  so  pleased 
was  she  only  to  have  him  there. 

"Don't  call  me  Sykes!"  he  exclaimed. 
"  It  is  the  name  of  Dickens's  murderer.  It  is 
a  beastly  name." 

It  was  quite  a  sweet  name  to  the  love-lorn 
attorney,  but  she  dropped  it  at  command, 
and  murmured,  "  Mr.  Drummond." 

"Well,  you  think  that  I  have  paid  you 
serious  attentions,"  continued  the  houorable 
gentleman.  "  That  is  what  you  think,  isn't 
it?"  ' 

Squire  Appleyard  could  not  at  once  an- 
swer. She  started  from  her  chair,  walked 
once  or  twice  across  the  room,  and,  finally,  in 
her  nervous  absent-mindedness,  seated  her- 
self upon  her  table,  swinging  her  patent- 
leather  boots  smartly. 

"You  certainly  did  and  said  things,"  she 
at  last  stammered,  "  which  would  have  made 
any  lady  think  that  a  man  liked  her." 

It  was  true  enough.  Drummond  had 
whispered  soft  speeches  to  this  light-headed, 
whimsical,  vain  creature.  From  that  he 
had  gone  on  to  press  her  hand,  and,  alas! 
alas !  to  kiss  her.  Finally,  he  had  talked 
downright  love,  and  had  hinted  at  marriage 
under  certain  conditions.  But  all  this  ho 
had  done  out  of  curiosity,  out  of  a  liking  for 
coarse  practical  jokes,  out  of  what  people 
call  deviltry.  He  wanted  to  see  if  there  was 
any  core  of  womanly  tenderness  and  sus- 
ceptibility inside  of  that  masculine  costume. 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


75 


He  relished  the  rndo  fim  of  whispering  ro- 
mantic nonsense  into  ojira  wliich  were  sliatl- 
owed  by  a  virile  beaver.  Ho  desired  to 
plague  and  hnnible  a  silly  daw  -which  had 
garnished  itself  in  the  plumes  of  the  raven. 

"Like  her?"  ho  retorted.  "Like  means 
love,  I  take  it.  How  do  you  suppose  I  can 
love  you,  with  you  sitting  on  a  table,  and 
swinging  your  boots  like  a  man  ?" 

Dropping  two  unseen  teai's.  Squire  Apple- 
yard  descended  from  her  elevation,  drew  the 
empty  chair  to  a  distance  from  Drummond, 
and  sat  cpiietly  and  meekly  down  in  it,  wish- 
ing, in  spite  of  herself,  that  she  had  a  silk 
dress  on.  Indeed,  one  can  not  be  quite  sure 
that  she  did  not  make  a  nervous  gesture  as 
if  to  draw  some  imaginary  skirt  over  those 
deiiounced  patent-leathers. 

"And  how  could  I  supjioso  that  you  would 
take  mo  in  earnest  ?"  continued  the  Con- 
gressman. "You  laughed  at  love.  You 
sneered  at  the  susceptibility  of  your  sex. 
You  said  that  no  true  woman  stood  in  need 
of  the  iirotection  of  marriage,  and  that  you 
were  no  such  slave  at  heart  as  to  desire  it. 
I  had  a  right  to  believe  that  you  were  sin- 
cere, and  that  you  would  stick  to  your  prin- 
ciples, hadn't  I  ?  Grant  that  I  tried  you  a 
little  with  spoony  nonsense,  and  went  so  far 
as  to  take  a  kiss.  Weren't  you  a  fair  sub- 
ject for  philosophic  investigation  ?  You  are 
a  phenomenon,  remember.  You  are  the  only 
woman  I  ever  saw  in  coat,  vest,  trowsers,  and 
boots.  It  is  enough — such  a  dress  on  such 
a  figure — to  rouse  the  scientific  world  to  in- 
quiry. I  don't  believe  Darwin  or  Herbert 
Spencer  could  see  you  without  wanting  to 
take  notes  of  you.  Well,  I  took  notes,  and 
you  let  me.  But  when  I  found  that  you 
were  really  a  woman  in  your  tastes  and  in- 
clinations, I  prudently,  and,  as  I  claim,  kind- 
ly, put  an  end  to  my  studies.  I  was  satis- 
fied, but  you  were  not.  Since  then  you  have 
been  following  me  up,  pursuing  me  from  one 
public  place  to  another,  watching  my  smiles 
and  tears — haw,  haw ! — and  claiming  own- 
ership. I  don't  admit  the  claim,  and  I  de- 
mand an  end  to  the  oversight.  That  is  what 
I  came  here  for — to  say  just  that,  and  noth- 
ing more." 

Lawyer  Nancy  Appleyard  had  spoken  very 
little  hitherto.  Before  the  meeting  she  hail 
had  a  great  many  ideas  in  her  head,  and 
had  expected  that  she  would  give  utterance 
to  them  with  freedom  and  eloquence.  But 
under  Drummond's  hard  treatment  her  emo- 
tions had  been  too  much,  for  her,  confusing 
her  intellect  and  stifling  her  voice.  Now, 
however,  desperation  and  anger  gave  her 
strength  to  talk  once  more,  and  to  talk  to 
the  purpose. 

"  You  did  speak  the  word  '  marriage,' "  she 
said,  forgetting  how  often  she  had  herself 
uttered  that  noble  dissyllable  in  derision. 
"  It  is  a  word  which  no  man  who  calls  him- 
self a  gentleman  ought  to  breathe  to  a  wom- 


an unless  he  means  it.     Yea,  sir,  you  prom- 
ised— you  solennily  promised — to  marry  me." 

"  Solemnly  ! — haw,  haw  !"  laughed  Drum- 
mond. "  Well,  I  did  talk  of  it,  after  a  fash- 
ion. But  the  wedding  was  to  be  on  the  con- 
dition that  you  should  dress  dcicently." 

"  I  am  driissed  decentl}',"  aflirmcd  Squire 
Nancy,  turning  hysterical,  and  whimpering 
outriglit. 

Drummond  surveyed  her  from  head  to  foot 
with  a  grin  of  distaste  and  of  mockery.  But 
Miss  Appleyard  did  not  notice  the  grin  ;  she 
was  meditating  a  tremendous  conp  de  toilette. 
It  was  a  step  the  mere  thought  of  which  fill- 
ed her  with  shame,  as  being  a  degradation 
to  herself,  and  an  apostasy  from  a  sublime 
cause.  She  had  adopted  the  costume  of 
man  partly  out  of  vanity,  admiration  of  her 
own  outlines,  and  a  longing  for  notoriety, 
but  also  partly  ont  of  a  belief  that  her  apo- 
theosis in  it  would  help  on  the  cause  of 
woman  with  a  big  W.  This  cause,  what- 
ever it  might  be  or  might  tend  to,  she  ear- 
nestly though  vaguely  believed  in,  and  fer- 
vently loved.  Her  small  head  was  full  of 
wild  notions  about  the  early  coming  and  the 
great  glory  of  the  millennium  of  female  suf- 
frage. When  ladies  should  vote,  go  to  Con- 
gress, sit  on  the  bench  of  the  Supreme  Court,  / 
conduct  banking,  sail  ships,  and  command^  ^ 
armies,  then  politics  would  be  pure,  law  in-  V^ 
fallible,  business  honest,  war  humane,  and 
the  world  holy  and  happy.  Of  course,  this 
result  was  desirable,  as  the  meanest  intel- 
lect could  discover ;  and,  of  course,  what- 
ever would  hasten  its  advent  was  the  right 
and  beautiful  thing  to  do. 

Now,  if  one  woman  with  a  big  W  should 
set  the  example  of  seizing  what  masculine 
privileges  could  bo  seized,  and  if  every 
woman  with  a  little  w  should  promptly  fol- 
low the  lead  of  this  Messianic  spirit,  then 
the  whole  blessed  business  would  be  accom/ 
plished  in  the  twinkling  of  an  I — that  I  be- 
ing the  ego  of  Miss  Nancy.  A  changcr'of 
tithe's  was  all  that  was  necessary  to  ren- 
ovate society ;  and  surely  nothing  could 
come  more  natxirallj^  to  the  feminine  na- 
ture. A  change  of  clothes,  and,  lo!  Tyrant 
Man  would  be  dethroned.  Woman  would 
mount  beside  him  or  above  him,  and  last, 
but  not  least.  Squire  Appleyard  would  be 
the  greatest  of  her  sex.  The  greatest  and 
one  of  the  revealed  handsomest,  for  there 
was  her  figure  in  plain  discovery,  and  she 
saw  it  to  be  a  lovely  one. 

But,  meanwhile,  with  the  reformation 
only  just  budding,  she  had  fallen  desperate- 
ly in  love ;  and  here  she  was  crying  at  a 
man  because  he  would  not  marry  her,  and 
would  scoif  at  her  Messianic  costume. 
Moreover,  she  was  on  the  point  of  telling  a 
downright  womanish  fib,  which  we  can  only 
pardon  because  of  the  gentle  motive  which 
engendered  it. 

"  I   never   said    I   wouldn't    change   my 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


dress,"  slie  muttered,  by  way  of  introducing 
an  otter  to  make  tliat  alteration. 

"  My  memory  is  a  i^retty  good  one,"  re- 
plied Drummond,  vfho,  indeed,  rarely  forgot 
any  thing,  and  was,  therefore,  a  formidable 
debater. 

"  If  I  did  say  so,  it  was  only  in  an  argu- 
ment," she  declared,  meanwhile  rolling  her 
eyes  at  him  in  a  tender  fashion,  which  con- 
trasted whimsically  with  frock-coat  and 
trowsers. 

"  Oh !  that  is  the  way  you  women  argue  : 
say  one  thing  and  mean  another  —  haw, 
haw,  haw !" 

Miss  Appleyard  had  hoped — so  blinded 
can  even  a  reformer  be  by  love  and  longing 
— that  if  she  offered  to  give  up  her  reform- 
atory and  platformatory  raiment,  this  man 
would  then  appreciate  the  greatness  of  the 
sacrifice,  and  would  clasp  her  to  his  over- 
coat. She  now  feared  that  she  had  been 
mistaken,  and  she  became  smartly  indig- 
nant. 

"  You  have  broken  your  solemn  promise, 
Mr.  Drummond,"  she  broke  out  —  "your 
solemn  promise." 

"Nonsense!  What  is  the  use  of  exag- 
gerating in  that  style.  You  knew  perfectly 
well  that  I  was  joking." 

"  I  did  not  know  it,  and  you  were  «oi  jok- 
ing. You  were  perfectly  in  earnest  when 
you  said  it.  Yon  have  changed  lately,  but 
it's  all  because  of  that  little  Mrs.  Murray — 
little  brown  wizened  creature  !" 

"  She  isn't  wizened  at  all,"  declared  that 
infuriating  Drummond,  laughing  at  this  out- 
burst of  jealousy.  "  Her  arm  is  as  large  as 
yours,  and  she  is  as  real  as  can  be." 

"Oh!"  exclaimed  Squire  Nancy,  in  a  jeal- 
ous rage,  and  almost  at  the  point  of  hys- 
terics. 

She  picked  up  her  beaver  and  dashed  it 
on  her  head,  as  if  she  were  about  to  fly  out 
of  the  oflice ;  then  she  tore  it  off",  threw  it 
on  the  floor,  thrust  her  hands  into  her  pock- 
ets, and  paced  the  room  with  grinding  boot- 
heels.  At  last  she  did  what  would  have 
been  more  tonching  in  silk  tlian  it  was  in 
broadcloth :  she  covered  her  face  with  her 
trembling  fingers,  and  burst  into  a  hearty  fit 
of  sobbing  and  crying. 

Drumnumd,  hard-hearted  as  he  was,  look- 
ed a  little  ashamed  of  himself,  and  w.as 
ashamed.  Nevertheless,  ho  watched  her 
coolly,  and  studied  her  intently,  for  he  was 
an  intelligent,  educated,  philosophic  black- 
guard, taking  a  deep  interest  in  singular 
manifestations  of  human  nature,  and  capa- 
ble of  investigating  them  under  trying  cir- 
cumstances. 

"  Will  you  keep  your  faith  as  .a  gentle- 
man ?"  the  young  woman  presently  asked, 
struck  by  his  silence  and  attention,  and 
drawing  hope  therefrom. 

"No,  no,"  he  said,  speaking  more  gravely 
and  pityingly,  yet  also  more  decisively,  than 


he  had  yet  spoken.  "This  is  sad  nonsense, 
and  we  must  have  done  with  it.  I  took  you 
to  be  a  stronger  head  and  a  rougher  heart 
than  you  are,  and  I  treated  you  according- 
ly. It  is  necessary  now  to  speak  plainly, 
and  once  for  ail.  Mrs.  Murray  has  nothing 
to  do  with  what  you  call  my  change.  I 
never  meant  to  pay  serious  court  to  yon, 
much  less  to  marry  you.  I  never  once 
thought  of  it,  and  you  must  stop  talking 
about  it.  Moreover,  you  must  stop  follow- 
ing me,  stop  watching  me.  It  will  do  no 
good,  and  will  make  you  ridiculous.  There, 
I  have  said  what  I  came  to  say,  and  I  hope 
you  understand  me.  This  is  the  last  time, 
as  I  desire  and  trust,  that  we  shall  meet. 
Good-bye." 

"  Good-bye,"  answered  Squire  Nancy,  in 
a  broken  voice,  looking  at  him  with  tender 
anguish,  while  he  marched  firmly  by  her 
and  out  of  the  office. 

Up  to  the  last  second  she  hoped  that  he 
would  turn  and  speak  some  word  of  love ; 
but  he  uttered  nothing  of  the  sort,  and  did 
not  even  give  her  a  farewell  glance ;  lie  sim- 
ply slammed  the  door  behind  him,  and  went 
his  way. 

Then  her  disappointment  and  indignation 
broke  out  violently.  She  dashed  at  the 
door,  tore  it  open  with  much  noise,  thrnst 
out  her  flushed  and  wet  face,  glared  fierce- 
ly at  his  disappearing  figure,  and  called,  in  a 
loud  scream, 

"  You  are  a  villain  !" 

"  That  is  my  business,"  retnrned  Drum- 
mond, grinning  back  at  her  as  he  turned 
the  next  corner.  Then  he  drew  out  his  kid 
gloves,  put  theui  on  with  as  nnich  care  as 
he  ever  bestowed  on  his  apparel,  and  went 
off  to  call  on  Mrs.  Josephine  Murray. 


CHAPTER  XXII. 

SQUIRE   XAXCY'S  SETTLEMENT  "WITH  JOSIE 
MURRAY. 

Although  Squire  Nancy  parted  from 
Drummond  in  great  anger,  and  could  at 
that  moment  have  brought  an  action  against 
him  with  more  than  professional  satisfaction, 
she  none  the  less  loved  him  permanently  and 
longed  to  win  him. 

It  is  wonderful  what  a  fascination  springs 
from  the  fact  of  being  refused.  The  spite  of 
disappointment  and  the  agony  of  humbled 
vanity  are  changed  by  a  wondrous  spell  into 
affection,  or  into  some  emotion  which  easily 
mingles  with  that  blessed  current  and  swells 
its  waters  mightily.  The  rejected  one  wor- 
sliips,  bleeding  and  in  the  dust,  it  is  true,  but 
all  the  more  passionately.  The  cruel  object 
of  the  adoration  appears,  for  the  time  at  least, 
indescribably  desirable. 

In  this  admirable,  though  unenviable, 
frame   was   Squire  Nancy,  intensely  iudig- 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


77 


A 


nant  at  the  false  Drumnioiul,ljut  Imngcriiig 
after  bim  ever  so  much.  She  did  uot  be- 
lieve that  bo  bad  never  cared  for  her,  and 
that  ho  bad  talked  sweet  things  to  her  only 
in  jest.  He  had  cared  for  her;  bo  had  been 
attentive  to  her,  and  fond  of  her,  until  Mrs. 
Josepbino  Murray  appeared  on  the  scene  ; 
bis  present  coolness  was  entirely  the  fault 
of  that  sly,  mean,  hateful  little  flirt.  The 
more  Miss  Appleyard  considered  this  expla- 
nation of  her  troubles,  the  more  certain  sho 
felt  that  it  was  tho  true  solution  of  them. 

But  bow  could  the  cup,  which  bad  slipped 
from  the  lip  and  fallen  in  fragments,  bo  gath- 
ered up  and  mended  ?  After  meditating  tho 
matter  palpitatingly,  first,  from  her  native- 
born,  feminine  point  of  view,  and  second, 
from  such  masculine  point  of  view  as  she 
could  descend  to,  she  resolved  to  see  Mrs. 
Murray,  and  have  a  jiersoual  settlement 
with  her.  She  would  be  a  Woman  with  a 
big  W,  and  smash  that  woman  with  a  little 
w.  Sho  would  face  her  enemy,  reveal  to  her, 
in  burning  words,  the  vileucss  of  her  char- 
acter, and  shame  her  into  withdrawing  her 
snares  from  the  path  of  honest,  though  mis- 
led Sykes  Drummoud.  Thus  she  thought 
and  substantially  said  to  herself,  for,  in  con- 
sequence of  a  small  head  and  imperfect  ed- 
ucation, she  was  disposed  to  be  sophomor- 
ical  in  ideas,  and  just  now  a  bursting  heart 
ad  greatly  inflamed  the  tendency. 

Well,  bow  should  she  get  at  the  wretched 
little  witch  ?  To  call  on  her  in  the  palatial 
residence,  aud  under  tho  patrician  patronage 
of  the  Reverend  John  Murray,  seemed  a  rath- 
er formidable  enterprise.  For  it  must  be  un- 
derstood that  Squire  Nancy  traveled  in  the 
Bohemian  ways  of  life,  and  was  not  received 
into  aristocratic,  or  even  into  bourgeois  cir- 
cles. Somehow,  hospitality  did  not  open  its 
arms  to  her  plaited  frock-coat ;  even  the  ear- 
nest dames  who  raised  subscriptions  for  her, 
aud  otherwise  cheered  her  in  her  mission, 
did  uot  invito  her  to  meet  their  relatives ; 
the  very  receptions  were  shut  against  lier, 
excepting,  of  course,  the  public  ones.  And, 
vain  as  she  was,  eccentric  as  sho  strove  to 
be,  these  things  quelled  her  conceit  uot  a 
little,  for  she  bad  woman's  normal  reverence 
for  the  grandeurs  of  society. 

But  courage,  self-reliance,  innate  dignity, 
big  W,  and  so  forth !  She  decided  that  she 
•would  call  at  Rector  Murray's,  and  face  his 
niece.  The  occasion,  however,  demanded 
uot  only  "  God-given  "  qualities,  but  also  hu- 
man preparation.  To  begin  with,  she  must 
look  at  least  as  well  as  Mrs.  Murray,  or  she 
could  not  feel  that  sho  was  meeting  her  on 
equal  terms.  So  she  arranged  her  glossj^ 
hair  with  special  grace,  brushed  her  becom- 
ing broadcloth  carefully  from  head  to  foot, 
and  took  from  its  recess  her  best  lace-edged 
handkerchief.  Next,  she  put  a  phial  of  harts- 
horn into  her  pocket ;  there  was  no  telling 
how  tough  the  interview  might  be ;  one  of 


them  might  faint  just  in  the  crisis.  Then 
a  terrible  inspiration  struck  her,  causing  licr 
to  laugh  fiercely,  and  also  to  turn  i>alc.  Sbe 
wont  to  her  table-drawer,  produced  various 
substances  which  bad  the  look  of  drugs,  com- 
pounded, with  some  difliculty,two  large  pills, 
put  them  in  a  box,  aud  the  box  in  her  vest- 
pocket.  It  must  be  stated  here  that,  before 
entering  the  law,  she  had  made  some  brief 
studies  in  medicine,  and  had  learned  how  to 
give  a  very  bad  taste  to  pellets  of  fresh  bread. 
Being  at  last  harnessed  and  provisioned  for 
her  cami)aign,  sho  tremulously  took  tho  war- 
path by  way  of  the  avenue  cars,  reached  the 
Reverend  Murray's  residence,  aud  rang  the 
bell. 

''I  have  an  engagement  to  meet  young 
Mrs.  Murray,"  she  said,  to  Mulatto  Sarah, 
who  opened  the  clerical  door.  "Tell  her 
that  the  gentleman  she  expected  has  called." 

Sarah,  having  never  before  beheld  Squire 
Nancy,  mistook  her  for  a  very  youthful  gen- 
tleman, one  of  "Miss  Josie's"many  strauge 
beans,  and  delivered  the  message  without 
hesitation.  Josie  herself  being  at  all  times 
in  expectation  of  some  man  or  other,  and 
thinking  that  this  was  Bradford,  or  Hollow- 
bread,  or  Drummoud,  came  directly  down  to 
the  parlor.  One  may  imagine  her  complete 
bewilderment  and  considerable  dismay  when 
sho  confronted  the  plaited  integuments  and 
■well-remembered  face  of  Lawyer  Appleyard. 
But  she  was  not  altogether  confounded,  for 
sbe  had  been  called  to  account  before  by 
jealous  women,  and  sbe  guessed  at  once  the 
motive  of  this  extraordinary  visit. 

"Good- morning,  sir,"  she  said,  mechan- 
ically, and  yet  with  a  certain  sense  (at  least, 
as  she  remembered  tho  matter  afterward) 
that  she  was  uttering  something  scornful 
and  cutting.  Almost  in  the  same  second, 
though  not  by  any  means  in  the  same 
breath,  sho  added  what  was  half  a  sugges- 
tion aud  half  a  hope,  "  Some  mistake,  I  sup- 
pose." 

They  were  both  standing,  both  panting 
quite  noticeably,  and  both  staring.  Josie 
neither  thought  of  sitting  down  nor  of  ask- 
ing her  visitor  to  sit,  a  circumstance  which 
she  spoke  of  boastfully  in  her  subsequent  re- 
hearsals of  the  scene,  representing  it  as  will- 
ful and  proper  arrogance  toward  a  vulgar 
and  silly  intruder. 

The  solemn  truth  is,  that  the  woman  in 
silk  and  tho  woman  in  broadcloth  were 
about  equally  confused  and  scared.  Miss 
Nancy,  for  instance,  would  have  been  glad 
to  make  a  crushing  answer,  but  merely  suc- 
ceeded in  quavering  forth, 

"No  mistake  at  all,  Mrs. Murray." 

"Ah! — indeed  I"  was  Mrs.  Murray's  not 
very  remarkable  retort,  the  same  being  fol- 
lowed up  by  an  awkward  silence. 

But,  as  we  who  know  Josie  may  imagine, 
it  did  uot  take  her  long  to  regain  self-posses- 
sion, or,  at  least,  to  put  ou  a  show  of  it. 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


At  first  she  Lad  been  as  raiicli  alarmed  by 
Squire  Appleyard  as  if  the  latter  were  a  real 
man;  she  had  been  daunted  by  the  frock- 
coat,  the  j»autaloons,  and  the  boots ;  by  the 
mere  skiu  that  usually  distiuguishes  our 
lion -like  sex.  Bat  the  tremulous  lips,  the 
contralto  voice,  aud  the  hysterical  stammer 
of  emotion,  these  womanish  circumstances 
tended  to  re-assure  her,  and  she  began  to  re- 
cover her  courage  and  cleverness. 

"I  have  not  the  honor  of  an  acquaintance 
with  you,  madam,"  she  said,  coldly,  quite 
aware  that  both  the  tone  and  the  statement 
expressed  a  claim  of  superiority. 

"I  don't  want  any  acquaintance," replied 
Miss  Appleyard,  tartly,  for  she  felt  the  sting. 
"I  have  no  intention,  Mrs.  Murray,  of  re- 
questiug  your  acquaintance,  or  acceptiug  it. 
I  came  here  solely  on  business." 

"1  think  you  had  better  transact  your 
business  through  my  uncle,  the  Rev.  Mr. 
Murray,"  said  Josie,  though  with  no  inten- 
tion of  sending  for  that  prudish  protector. 

"  I  won't  see  him,"  declared  Nancy.  "  We 
are  women  together,  Mrs.  Murray.  If  you 
have  in  you  auy  of  the  spirit  and  self-re- 
spect of  a  true  woman  —  if  yon  have  done 
nothing  that  a  true  woman  would  not  be 
ashamed  of — you  will  talk  with  me." 

Josie  hesitated.  By  this  time  her  heart 
had  stopped  thumping,  and  her  curiosity 
was  excited.  The  scene  was  an  uncom- 
monly odd  one  certainly,  and  would  proba- 
bly be  very  amusing  to  relate.  The  attrac- 
tion of  something  whimsical,  something  ex- 
travagantly new  and  entertaining,  was  a 
gi'eat  temptation  to  this  adventui-ous  young 
lady. 

"  Do  me  the  favor  to  take  a  chair,"  she 
said,  at  the  same  time  sinking  with  con- 
scious grace  upon  a  sofa,  and  rather  osten- 
tatiously arranging  her  rustling  draperies, 
so  much  more  expensive  than  trowsers. 

Squire  Ai)pleyard  was  only  too  glad  to 
accept  the  invitation,  for  her  plaited  panta- 
loons were  trembling  under  her,  aud  she  al- 
most needed  her  hartshorn  bottle.  But  she 
was  determined — blindly,  dizzily,  yet  des- 
perately, determined — to  say  her  say,  and  to 
say  it  vigorously. 

"  I  came  about — IMr.  Drnminond,"  she  went 
on,  huskily.  "  I  want  you  to  know — I  want 
you  to  fully  understand — that  he  is  engaged 
to  mc." 

She  did  not  fully  understand  it  so  herself; 
but  if  what  she  asserted  was  not  exactly  the 
case,  it  ought  to  be  the  case ;  and  then,  in 
her  present  state  of  turbulent  feeling,  some- 
thing strong  must  be  uttered. 

"Mr.  Drummond!"  repeated  Josie,  some- 
what confounded,  now  that  the  assault  was 
actually  opened. 

"  Yea,  ma'am,"  insisted  Miss  Appleyard, 
tremulously,  but  also  pugnaciously. 

"  I  don't  care  if  he  is,"  said  Josie,  more  and 
more  bothered,  so  angi-ily  did  this  odd  vis- 


itor stare  at  her.  "You  had  better  go  and 
talk  to  Mr.  Drummond  about  it." 

"I  have  talked  to  him  about  it,"  declared 
Nancy,  rising  and  pacing  the  room  in  a  fash- 
ion which  was  almost  terrifying,  so  manly 
was  it.  "And  you,  Mrs.  Murray — yon — are 
standing  between  him  and  his  plighted 
word." 

"  I  don't  know  what  you  mean.  It's  all 
nonsense  —  and  impertinent.  I  wish  you 
would  go  away." 

"Yes  —  go  away!"  echoed  Squire  Apple- 
yard,  by  this  time  hysterically  excited.  "  You 
expect  him,  I  suppose.  I  am  in  the  way,  I 
suppose — ha,  ha !" 

"  I  don't  expect  him  at  all,"  affirmed  Josie, 
which  was  not  exactly  true.  "  I  tell  you 
this  is  all  very  absurd,  aud  I  have  nothing 
to  do  with  your  affairs." 

"  But  you  have  with  Ms  affairs.  Yes,  I 
know  very  well  that  you  have — I  know  it 
only  too  well." 

"  He  isn't  engaged  to  7ne,  if  that  is  what 
you  think !" 

"  No ;  but  he  is  about  you.  You  are  keep- 
ing company  with  him.  You  are  doing  your 
best  to  enthrall  and  enchant  him.  Will  you 
dare  tell  mo  that  you  are  not  trying  to  hold 
him  in  your  train  ?  Will  you  dare  tell  me 
that  you  care  nothing — nothing  at  all — for 
him  V 

Now  Josie  dared  to  tell  almost  any  fib,  so 
far  as  the  mere  fibbing  was  concerned  ;  but 
this  statement,  whether  it  were  true  or  false, 
she  did  not  like  to  make,  for  the  reason  that 
the  jealous  Bloomer  would  undoubtedly  re- 
peat it  to  the  Congressman ;  and  then  he 
might  refuse  to  assist  in  pushing  the  Murray 
claim.  So,  while  she  really  had  no  liking  for 
Mr.  Drummond,  she  hesitated  about  sayiug 
so. 

"  I  thought  as  much,"  hissed  Squire  Nancy, 
almost  losing  what  little  reason  Heaven  had 
fitted  her  out  with.  "  It  lies  betwixt  us 
two,  then,"  she  continued,  at  the  same  time 
producing  that  mysterious  pill-box  which 
has  been  mentioned.  "  Mrs.  Murray,  I  am  a 
druggist  as  well  as  lawyer,"  and  by  this  time 
her  voice  was  so  hoarse  aud  sepulchral  as  to 
be  really  terrible,  at  least,  to  Josie.  "I  am 
a  druggist.  I  have  here  two  pills  made  by 
myself.  One  of  them  is  bread,  and  the  oth- 
er is  arsenic.  They  shall  decide  between  us. 
Take  your  choice,  and  I  will  take  tlic  other. 
The  survivor  shall  have  Sykes  Drunnnoud. 
The  other,"  and  hero  her  utterance  fell  to  a 
hoarse  murmur  which  was  all  but  unearthly, 
and  would  have  been  fatal  to  a  sensitive  list- 
ener— "  the  other — <l-i-c-s!" 

It  must  have  been  wonderful  to  sec  her 
poking  her  prescription  at  Mrs.  Murray,  and 
tliat  lovely  young  person  recoiling  from  it. 
For  there  is  no  doubt  that  she  did  recoil,  and 
that  she  was  at  this  moment  considerably 
flustered.  Indeed,  if  we  may  believe  Squire 
Nancy's  subsequent  description  of  the  scene, 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


79 


Josio  shod  tears,  baLyishly,  and  said,  in  a 
coutemptiblo  wbi.spcr,  "I  cau't  tako  iiills 
without  souie  jam." 

Our  heroine,  however,  always  denied  the 
alleged  Aveeping,  and  gave  a  much  nobler 
version  of  her  refusal  to  swallow.  Accord- 
ing to  her  account,  she  only  said,  "  I  can't 
take  dry  pills,"  and  said  it,  too,  in  a  tone  of 
calm  and  cutting  irony. 

■"  Indeed,  the  discrepancies  of  statement  be- 
tween the  two  ladies  with  regard  to  tins 
wliolo  interview  are  simply  irreconcilable. 
Wo  ought  to  avow,  in  fairness,  that  we  have 
generally  followed  the  paraphrase  of  Mrs. 
Murray,  as  being  by  far  the  most  artistic  and 
entertaining. 

"Yon  refuse!"  exclaimed  Miss  Nancy. 
"You  love  him  not — ha-ha-ha! — he-he-he!" 
(And  Josie,  in  her  delicious  account  of  the 
matter,  gave  an  imitation  of  the  Squire's  hys- 
terical laughter  which  was  absolutely  irre- 
sistible, even  to  grave  and  fastidious  listen- 
ers.) "Take  your  choice!"  Here  Miss  Ap- 
pleyard  pushed  the  bos  anew  under  her  ri- 
val's nose,  her  own  hands  and  cheeks  trem- 
bling the  while,  and  her  voice  quivering. 
"  Take  your  choice  !     Take — take !" 

But  by  this  time  Mrs.  Murray  had  recov- 
ered from  whatever  abasement  of  alarm  she 
may  have  fallen  into.  She  was  angry,  also 
— angry  at  having  been  frightened — as  is 
frequently  the  case  with  women.  She  struck 
out  at  the  box  with  the  smart  slap  of  a  cat, 
knocked  it  from  the  grasp  of  Miss  Nancy's 
unsteady  fingers,  and  sent  the  pills  flying 
across  the  floor. 

Then  there  were  a  brief  rustling  and  tram- 
pling to  and  fro,  which  reduced  the  two  bo- 
luses to  mere  paste,  faintly  streaking  the 
parsonage  carpet. 

"I  will  make  some  more!"  gasped  Squire 
Nancy,  w^ho  saw  that  her  invention  had  at 
least  produced  dismay,  and  who  was  deter- 
mined to  be  horrid. 

"You  may  make  them  and  take  them," 
declared  Josie,  running  to  the  bell-rope  and 
standing  ready  to  pull  it,  though  very  un- 
willing to  summon  her  sedate  relatives.  It 
surely  would  not  be  pleasant  to  have  this 
ridiculous  Bloomer  rehearsing  the  Drnm- 
mond  affair  to  the  nervous  rector,  and  ad- 
vancing no  one  could  foresee  what  outra- 
geous accusations  of  coquetry.  Neverthe- 
less, she  added,  with  spirit :  "  Go  away,  now 
— go  right  away — or  I'll  call  somebody." 

"  Will  you  give  me  an  answer  ?"  gurgled 
Miss  Appleyard.  "  Will  you  give  me  an  an- 
swer V 

"  I  won't  give  you  any  answer  at  all !"  de- 
clared Josie,  much  supported  by  the  bell- 
rope.  "  Only  I  will  say  that  I  don't  wonder 
Mr.  Drummond  won't  have  a  woman  who  is 
dressed  as  ridiculously  as  you  are !" 

"I  am  XOT  dressed  ridiculously!"  almost 
shouted  the  apostle  of  the  good  time  com- 
ing, half  forgetting  her  love  matters  in  the 


feminine  "  main  question  "  of  costume.  "  It 
is  you  who  are  dressed  ridiculously.  Look 
at  your  rufl's  and  laces,  and  your  fiills  and 
flounces,  and  your  long,  helpless  skirts,  and 
your  graceless  i)aniers.  I  know  all  that 
you've  got  on.  I  know  where  you're  made 
up  and  s([ueezed  in  and  i)added  out.  I  know 
where  the  woman  ends  and  the  millinery 
begins.  You  can't  humbug  me,  as  you  can 
the  silly  blockheads  of  men,  with  crinolines 
and  corsets  and  caterings  and  gorings.  Do 
you  call  yourself  a  wonuin  ?  lluit  a  wom- 
an !" — pointing  at  Josio  with  a  gesture  of 
scorn  worthy  of  a  teacher  of  elocution. 
"  You  are  a  mass  of  pins  and  bastings  and 
flummery.  You  are  a  poor,  empty,  hollow 
sham.  Oh,  when  will  my  sex  free  itself  i 
from  the  slavery  and  idiocy  of  these  ridicu- 
lous— ridiculous— ridiculous  fixings!"  (This 
was  very  galling,  by-the-way,  this  threefold 
repetition  of  the  word  7-idicuIous,  and  Josio 
keenly  felt  it  to  be  so,  and  writhed  under  it 
visibly.)  "  Oh,  when  will  woman  cast  aside 
her  weaknesses  and  arise  in  her  proper  might 
and  dignity,  spurning  all  bondages  !"  contin- 
ued the  Squire,  who,  it  must  be  understood, 
was  at  times  a  lecturer,  and  had  now  caught 
the  thread  of  one  of  her  discourses.  "  Oh, 
v,heu  will  woman  be  difiterent  from  the 
mean,  paltry,  pitiful  thing  which  I  now  see 
before  me  ?" 

Now,  strange  as  it  may  seem,  all  this  was 
dreadful  to  Josie.  She  felt  for  the  moment 
that  her  costume  was  somewhat  frivolous, 
and  that  its  alleged  shams  were  absurdly 
transparent.  Moreover,  this  Bloomer,  by  the 
mere  f;xct  of  preaching  at  her,  was  claiming 
all  sorts  of  superiority,  artistic  and  moral 
and  intellectual. 

"  Go  away !"  she  commanded,  stamping  her 
foot.  "  If  you  don't  go  right  away  this  min- 
ute, I'll  send  for  the  police,"  she  added,  lift- 
ing up  her  white  jeweled  hand  to  get  a  good 
grip  on  the  bell-rope. 

Then,  a  little  frightened  by  the  threat, 
and  also  worn  out  by  her  labor  and  deliver- 
ance of  emotion,  did  the  Squire  break  down. 
She  covered  her  face,  burst  into  a  spasm 
of  angry  tears,  and  without  another  word 
tranqjed  out  of  the  room  and  the  house. 

"  What  a  fool !"  exclaimed  Josie,  slamming 
the  door  after  the  departed  one.  "  What  a 
fool,  to  go  on  so  about  my  di-ess!" 

Thereupon  she  turned  to  a  long  mirror, 
and  surveyed  herself  deliberately  from  head 
to  foot,  meantime  deftly  arranging  her  dra- 
peries and  decorations.  What  she  saw  Avas 
a  lovely  brunette  face,  all  the  handsomer  for 
being  flushed  with  excitement,  and  a  trim, 
graceful,  sufficiently  plump  figure,  costumed 
in  the  finest  gloss  of  the  latest  style.  It 
was  a  spectacle  which  might  well  arouse  the 
ire  of  a  Bloomer,  for  it  was  capable  of  win- 
ning the  admiration  or  desire  of  almost  any 
man. 

"  I  think  I  look  well  enough,  if  I  am  a 


80 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


V^^ 


mass  of  millinery,"  she  said,  with  a  smile, 
as  she  tnrued  to  glance  out  of  a  window. 
"Well,  that  idiot  is  gone.  What  a  fool!" 
and  here  she  burst  into  a  spasm  of  rather 
nervous  laughter,  for  the  interview  had  been 
not  a  little  trying.  "I  do  have  the  oddest 
adventures !  and  so  many  of  them !  Well,  I 
hope  I  have  seen  the  last  of  that  idiot  J" 

But  she  had  not  seen  the  last  of  her  ab- 
surd tormentor.  Squire  Nancy  Appleyard 
was  yet  to  follow  her  up  a  good  deal,  and  to 

ague  her  not  a  little.  There  is  no  end  to 
the  useless  perseverance  of  people  who  lack 
common  sense. 


CHAPTEK  XXIII. 

COWHIDE  AND  PISTOLS. 

Although  in  later  days  Squire  Nancy 
narrated  her  assault  upon  Josie  with  great 
glee,  and  misrepresented  it  very  much  to  her 
own  glory,  she  was  by  no  means  hilarious 
and  triumphant  when  she  quitted  the  scene 
of  battle. 

Her  idea  then  was  about  this :  that  she 
had  made  a  very  proper  attemx^t  to  recover 
her  man,  her  own  plighted  lover,  from  an  un- 
scrupulous flirt ;  and  that  in  this  attempt 
she  had  been  foiled,  defied,  brow-beaten,  and 
insulted.  It  seemed  as  if  Woman  with  a  big 
W  were  no  match  for  woman  with  a  little  w, 
and  never  could  learn  how  to  be  so. 

For  some  days  she  remained  in  a  tearful, 
fretful,  gloomy  frame,  railing  to  herself  at 
the  meanness  of  her  own  sex  and  the  mean- 
ness of  the  other,  denouncing  the  wicked  co- 
quetry of  Mrs.  Murray,  and  the  wicked  faith- 
fulness of  Mr.  Drummond.  Of  course  she  ea- 
gerly hoped  that  her  own  Sykes  would  re- 
turn to  her ;  and  of  course  the  real  Sykes — 
Sykes's  own  Sykes — had  not  the  frailest 
liurpose  of  so  doing. 

At  last  she  caught  sight  of  him  on  the  av- 
enue, but  only  to  behold  him  mount  into  the 
Murray  carriage  by  the  side  of  "  that  crea- 
ture," and  drive  away  with  her  toward  un- 
known resorts.  Then  Squire  Nancy  wrote 
to  him ;  she  asked  him  "  firmly,  finally,  and 
once  for  all,"  whether  he  would  fulfill  his 
liromise ;  also  she  inquired  whether  ho  would 
or  would  not,  "stop  keeping  comjiauy  with 
Mrs.  M ." 

Drummond,  a  good  deal  irritated  by  this 
note,  and  likewise  much  cumbered  at  the 
time  with  public  business,  sent  a  Spartan  re- 
ply, consisting  of  the  one  word,  "  No,"  sign- 
ed, "S.D." 

Thereupon  the  Squire  became  miseraldy 
furious,  and  resolved  to  do  something  des- 
perate and  conclusive.  She  thought  of  sui- 
cide, and  mixed  up  no  end  of  alternate  bread 
and  arsenic  pills,  occasionally  tossing  up  a 
cent  to  decide  which  she  should  take,  and, 
if  it  came  up  tails,  tossing  again.     After  a 


few  experiments  of  this  sort,  followed  by  a 
due  amount  of  doleful  meditation,  she  con- 
cluded that  it  was  all  nonsense.  Suicide 
would  be  quite  proper,  if  the  right  person 
would  commit  it ;  but  the  only  right  person 
in  the  present  case  was  that  Mrs.  Murray; 
not  by  any  manner  of  means  the  injured,  the 
sinless.  Miss  Nancy.  And,  oh  dear !  if  Sykes 
Drummond  only  icoulcl  come  back,  there 
would  be  no  iiositive  need  of  any  body's  tak- 
ing poison. 

But  he  did  not  come  ;  a  week  passed,  aud 
still  he  did  not  appear  in  the  Appleyard  of- 
fice ;  and  at  last  the  Squire's  wrath  waxed 
exceedingly  hot  against  him.  She  settled 
upon  punishing  him  ;  upon  castigating  him 
violently  and  memorably  ;  yea,  upon  cutting 
short  his  Avicked  life.  She  thought  over  all 
the  cases  of  women  who  had  slain  such  men 
as  had  trifled  with  their  tender  hearts,  and 
who  had  been  pronounced  guiltless  by  jus- 
tice and  the  world. 

There  was  Mary  Harris ;  she  had  shot  the 
mysteriously  sinful  Burroughs,  no  one  ever 
knew  what  for;  and  the  jury  had  found  her 
as  iiure  as  an  angel,  and  her  lawyer  had  be- 
dewed her  with  tears  of  joy.  There  were 
many  other  cheering  examples  also,  mostly- 
in  New  York  city  or  in  California.  It  seem- 
ed as  if  any  woman  could  kill  any  man,  aud, 
merely  by  saying  that  she  did  it  for  love  of 
him,  secure  the  approbation  of  society  and 
become  agreeably  famous. 

Now  these  were  very  alluring  reminis- 
cences to  a  young  lady  of  small  brains,  who 
was  as  conceited  as  a  peacock,  and  had  a 
consuming  passion  for  notoriety.  The  im- 
mediate horrid  result  of  them  was  that  Miss 
Nancy  bought  a  pink  cowhide,  and  borrowed 
an  ivory-handled  revolver. 

With  these  instruments  of  justice  in  the 
drawer  of  her  table,  crowded  among  sewing 
materials,  legal  blanks,  sheets  of  note-paper 
and  law-manuals,  she  lay  in  wait  for  the  slay- 
er of  her  peace.  Her  ofiice,  by-the-way,  com- 
manded a  small  triangular  square  abutting 
on  Pennsylvania  Avenue,  so  that,  without 
coming  out  of  her  ambush,  she  could  survey 
a  considerable  space  of  that  untraveled  wil- 
derness of  a  thoroughfare.  If  Drummond 
should  pass  in  the  direction  of  the  Treasitry, 
she  could  overtake  him  before  he  reached 
Willard's  Hotel;  if  he  should  pass  in  the  di- 
rection of  the  Capitol,  she  could  skip  around 
a  block  and  confront  him  opposite  the  mar- 
ket. In  either  case  she  could,  of  course,  flog 
or  shoot  him  with  delightful  ease  ;  that  is, 
if  she  only  made  her  assault  unobserved, 
like  Mary  Harris  and  other  heroines.  And 
oven  if  slui  did  not  kill  him  (which,  it  nnist 
bo  confessed,  she  did  not  quite  moan  to  do), 
she  would  raise  a  swarm  of  scandals  about 
the  ears  of  that  detestable  Mrs.  Murray,  aud 
perhaps  worry  her  into  flying  from  Washing- 
ton. 

Well,  one  day  the  noble  deed  was  dared. 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


81 


Josie  had  not  seen  Sqniro  Apployaril  for 
nearly  a  fortnight,  and  had  recovered  from 
whatever  dread  she  may  have  had  of  her. 
She  no  longer  confined  herself  to  going  out 
in  the  Murray  carriage,  very  much  to  the  re- 
lief of  its  i)hilantliroi)ic  and  fastidious  pro- 
prietor, who  hated  to  see  his  horses  and 
coachman  exercised  regularly.  Sho  walked 
daily,  and  let  us  add  willingly,  for  not  only 
was  she  a  healthy  little  body  whose  vigorous 
organization  required  movement,  but  she  had 
an  unusually  pretty  pair  of  Boston  bootees 
to  exhibit.  It  was  also  characteristic  of  this 
audacious  young  woman  that  sho  had  the 
heroic  taste  to  gather  up  her  dress  and 
"  switch  along,"  when  every  other  queen  of 
fashion  felt  obliged  to  "  draggle." 
t/Well,  sho  was  trotting  up  the  avenue  in 
this  brave  style,  the  wonder  and  admiration, 
as  usual,  of  many  masculine  eyes,  when  she 
encountered  Mr.  Drummond. 

"Ah!  you  are  magnificent  this  morning, 
Mrs.  Murray,"  said  that  gentleman,  who  had 
just  stepped  out  of  a  wine-merchant's  sam- 
ple-room, and  was  in  high  spirits.  "  I  will 
walk  with  you." 

'•'And  if  I  wasn't  magnificent  you  would 
walk  with  some  one  else,  I  suppose,"  smiled 
Josie.  "Are  you  going  to  the  Capitol? 
What  is  happening  there  to-day?" 

By-the-way,  Josie  had  not  yet  got  be- 
witched about  the  debates  and  become  a 
regular  attendant  upou  them,  as  happens  to 
many  ladies  who  reside  long  in  Washington, 
and  especially  to  many  lady  claimants. 

'•  Oh,  a  tiresome  deal,"  laughed  Drum- 
moud.  "  Our  friend  Hollowbread  is  to  make 
a  speech." 

"  Not  about  my  claim  ?" 

"Not  yet;  he  will  reach  that  in  the  year 
1900 — haw,  haw !  It's  about  his  greenback 
bill." 

"  He  told  me  of  it,  and  I  was  so  mean  as 
to  forget  it.  You  mustn't  expose  mo.  I  ought 
to  go  and  hear  him.  Who  couldn't  be  in- 
terested in  greenbacks  ?  I  never  see  them 
but  what  I  think  of  shopping.  And  then, 
seriously,  quite  seriously  now,  Mr.  Hollow- 
bread  is  an  able  man." 

"  He  has  every  characteristic  of  an  able 
man  except  ability — haw,  haw,  haw !" 

"  Oh,  there  you  are  too  hard  on  him,"  de- 
clared Josie,  although  she  also  laughed.  "  I 
should  say  that  he  had  everj-  characteristic 
of  an  able  man  except  industry." 

Drummond  fairly  turned  short  and  stared 
at  her  in  obvious  surprise  and  admiration. 

"  You  are  exactly  right,"  he  said.  "  That 
covers  Hollowbread's  whole  ground.  In  spite 
of  some  absurdities  (and  all  the  great  fel- 
lows whom  I  know  have  their  absurdities), 
he  would  be  an  able  man,  if  he  could  only 
work.  He  is  well  booked ;  he  has  solid  sense 
enough;  he  has  keenness  and  wit  enough; 
but  he  can't  work.  And  that  puts  him  into 
the  second,  or  third,  or  fourth  class — I  don't 
6 


know  exactly  where,  and  it  doesn't  mat- 
ter." 

"  You  can  work,  Mr.  Drummond." 

"How  about  the  rest  of  my  character, 
Mrs.  Murray  ?" 

"I  will  tell  you  when  my  claim  has  been 
passed." 

"  Haw,  haw !"  roared  Sykes,  delighted 
with  this  pert  sparkle  of  selfishness.  "  Of 
course.  Wo  must  get  that  little  hundi'ed 
thousand  dollar  aftair  all  right  before  we 
can  have  any  compliments." 

"  I  have  a  great  compliment  for  you,  Mr. 
Drummond." 

"  May  I  ask  what  it  is  ?" 

Josie  hesitated,  smiled  archly,  watched 
him  a  moment  inquiringly,  and  finally  whis- 
pered, 

"A  lady  is  desperately  in  love  with  you." 

"  What  lady  V  returned  Drummond,  with 
the  simple  frankness  of  a  flattered  man,  half 
hoping — the  iiartially  bewitched  creature! 
— that  the  enamored  person  might  be  Mrs. 
Murray  herself,  and  that  her  eccentric  au- 
dacity would  lead  her  to  make  some  farther 
confession. 

Meantime  Josie  actually  exulted,  as  might 
be  seen  in  the  sparkling  of  her  wonderful 
eyes,  and  might  be  heard  in  the  agitated 
rustle  of  her  silks. 

It  was  a  great  thing  to  have  kept  the  tale 
of  her  interview  with  Miss  Appleyard  from 
this  domineering  Congressman  for  a  whole 
fortnight.  It  would  also  be  a  great  thing 
to  relate  it  to  him  now,  and  see  him  cringe 
under  the  ridiculous  revelation. 

Little  did  she  guess  how  near  the  hero- 
ine of  that  adventure  was  to  her  at  that  mo- 
ment. Revolver  in  pocket,  and  cowhide  hid- 
den under  her  caped  surtout,  Scjuire  Nancy 
was  just  then  hurrying  through  a  back  street 
toward  the  avenue,  with  the  intent  of  facing 
this  guilty  couple  at  the  end  of  the  block. 

"And  she  has  made  a  confidante  of  me," 
continued  Mrs.  Murray,  nearly  laughing  out- 
right, as  she  remembered  how  the  confidence 
had  been  vouchsafed. 

"  Of  you  !"  stared  Drummond,  completely 
puzzled,  and  more  serious  than  it  was  quite 
clever  to  be. 

"With  tears  in  her  eyes,  and  frenzy  in 
her  voice.  You  would  have  been  j)roud  if 
you  could  have  heard  her." 

Sho  was  a  little  afraid  that  ho  would  be 
offended  with  her  when  the  truth  should 
come  out ;  and  yet  sho  so  loved  fun  and  mis- 
chief that  sho  could  not  help  playing  with 
the  risky  subject ;  besides,  she  might  yet  de- 
cide not  to  tell  him  any  thing  definite. 

" Nonsense !"  said  Drummond.  "One  of 
your  charming  freaks  of  fancy,  Jlrs.  Murray. 
I  never  made  a  woman  cry  in  my  life." 

"  Sho  cried  all  over  licr  frock-coat,"  gig- 
gled, or,  rather,  shrieked  Josie,  unable  to 
keep  back  the  joke  any  longer,  and  unable 
to  disclose  it  without  laughter. 


82 


PLAYING  THE  mSCHIEF. 


"  What—" 

And  -with  that  uufiuished  query  Drum- 
mond  paused,  asking  no  more  until  be  should 
catch  his  breath.  He  uuderstood  at  once 
that  this  meaut  Xancy  Aiipleyard.  He  was 
confounded,  huiuiliated,  angry,  yes,  fairlj- 
tremulous  with  rage ;  but  he  was  a  tough, 
much -enduring  man,  and  able  to  accept  a 
blow  in  silence. 

"  Oh,  do  forgive  me  I"'  begged  Josie,  seeing 
instantly  how  keenly  annoyed  he  was,  and 
fearing  evil  results  to  her  claim.  "  It  must 
be  a  more  or  less  disagreeable  subject,  I 
know ;  but  I  have  had  something  to  bear 
also — something  to  bear  on  your  account." 

"Ah!  indeed!"  said  Drummond.  A  mo- 
ment before  he  had  been  readj'  to  turn  his 
back  on  Mrs.  Murray,  and  nearly  capable  of 
throwing  a  paving-stone  at  Miss  Appleyard, 
had  she  been  within  bowling  distance;  but 
this  new  view  of  the  matter,  this  suggestion 
that  the  lovely  widow  had  suffered  for  his 
sake,  this  hint  that  their  fates  were  more  or 
less  entangled,  was  a  lip-salve  to  his  chap- 
ped feelings.  "Has — "  he  began,  and  stop- 
j)ed;  but  he  might  as  well  out  with  it,  and 
so  he  proceeded :  "  Has  that  fool  written  to 
you  ?" 

"  Came  to  see  me,"  murmured  Josie,  plaint- 
ively; "and  behaved — oh,  so  absurdly!  so 
outrageously !" 

"  By  Jove  !  I  wish  I  could  meet  her !"  ex- 
claimed Drummond,  in  great  wrath. 

In  that  moment,  in  that  most  inauspicious 
conjuncture  for  carrying  out  her  adventure 
Iileasantly  to  herself,  Squire  Naucy  stepped 
from  behind  the  corner  of  the  block,  and  con- 
fronted the  pair. 

She  could  hardly  be  called  a  terrible  ap- 
parition, but  in  the  way  of  novelty  and 
whimsicality  she  could  not  be  matched,  at 
least,  o&  the  boards  of  a  theatre. 

Her  face  was  ashy  pale  ;  her  eyes  were  di- 
lated, and  her  mouth  stood  wide  open,  dis- 
closing her  teeth ;  one  hand  grasped  her 
concealed  revolver,  and  the  other  held  aloft 
her  cowhide.  Moreover,  she  was  screaming 
loudly,  as,  I  believe,  women  generally  do 
when  they  rush  to  battle,  such  is  the  hys- 
terical nature  of  their  pugnacity. 

"  I've  got  you ! — I've  got  you !"  she  shriek- 
ed, and  made  a  feeble,  awkward,  overhand 
cut  with  her  whip,  after  which  she  scream- 
ed again,  in  piercing  fashion,  as  if  she  had 
hit  herself.  Actually  she  had  struck  noth- 
ing but  the  air,  and  in  the  very  next  instant 
she  had  no  cowhide. 

Drummond  was  an  uncommonly  cool, 
quick-witted,  courageous,  and  athletic  man. 
It  would  have  bothered  a  catamount  to 
surprise  him,  and  he  had  borne  musketry 
and  cannonade  without  flinching,  while  in 
strength  ho  was  a  match  for  any  ordinary 
porter  or  boxer. 

He  caught  Squire  Ap])lcyard's  instrument 
of    liagellatiou    with    beautiful    alertness, 


j  twisted  it  out  of  her  hand  instantaneously, 
and  jerked  it  over  his  head  across  the  street. 
I  Once  more  she  screamed,  and  simultane- 
ously with  this  noise  out  came  her  revolver, 
exploding  the  moment  it  left  her  breast- 
pocket, and  sending  a  ball  through  the  rag- 
ged hat  of  a  negro  urchin,  who  stood  with 
open  mouth  contemplating  the  tourney. 
Then  the  revolver  was  gone  also,  for  Drum- 
mond clutched  and  crushed  her  hand,  took 
the  weapon  from  her,  and  put  it  iu  his  own 
pocket. 

"  There!  now  go  home,  you  simpleton !"  he 
said,  sternly,  giving  her  shoulder  an  angry 
push — such  a  push  as  a  big  boy  bestows  on 
a  little  one. 

Squire  Nancy  uttered  a  last  screech,  sig- 
nifying that  the  battle  was  over  on  her  part, 
tottered  a  few  steps  in  a  soft,  collapsing, 
nerveless  manner,  much  like  a  decadent 
bolster,  dropped  in  a  sitting  posture  on  the 
pavement,  and  burst  into  a  flood  of  tears. 
Without  saying  another  word,  Drummond 
turned  his  back  on  her,  ran  to  a  street-car 
which  was  passing  at  the  moment,  leaped 
into  it,  and  went  on  to  the  Capitol. 

Squire  Nancy,  faint,  sobbing  violently,  and 
disagreeably  soiled,  was  iiicked  up  by  a 
couple  of  spectators,  led  or  carried  into  a 
neighboring  druggist's  shop,  and  left  in 
charge  of  the  spectacled  proprietor.  The 
great,  manly,  heroic  adventure  which  she 
had  brooded  over  for  days  was  ended;  and 
she  was  in  gurgling,  gasping  hysterics,  hav- 
ing her  head  bathed,  and  hartshorn  held  to 
her  nose. 

Moreover,  she  had  failed,  not  only  ridic- 
ulously, but  utterly.  Not  a  whack  of  the 
cowskin  had  alighted  on  that  scoundrelly 
Drummond,  and  not  a  pistol-shot  had  lacer- 
ated so  much  as  the  skirt  of  his  overcoat. 
Mrs.  Murray,  too,  that  other  and  even  wick- 
eder euemy,  had  marvelously  escaped  all 
evil  treatment,  and  even  all  exposure  to  pub- 
lic scorn. 

Yes,  Josie  had  got  out  of  the  mess  with  an 
adroitness  and  a  celerity  which  were  quite 
iu  keeping  with  her  character  and  her  his- 
tory. In  the  very  beginning  of  the  contest, 
before  the  first  aimless  blow  of  the  cowhide 
had  been  delivered,  she  saw,  with  a  single 
glance,  what  was  about  to  happen,  and  ex- 
ecuted a  skillful  change  of  base.  It  took 
her  scarcely  a  second  to  step  into  a  shop 
which  stood  on  the  corner;  then,  without 
stopping  to  see  what  would  befall,  as  a  dull- 
er woman  might  have  done,  she  hurried  to 
a  side-door  Avhich  opened  upon  the  cross- 
street ;  a  minute  later  she  was  around  the 
block,  and  had  secured  a  hack  to  take  her 
home.  Her  little  heart  was  thumping  pretty 
smartly  ;  but  she  had  by  no  means  lost  self- 
control  and  an  intelligent  sense  of  matters, 
both  past  and  present ;  and,  once  safe  in  her 
vehicle,  she  looked  at  her  skirts  to  see  if 
they  were  muddy,  glaaced  out  of  the  window 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


83 


to  SCO  if  islie  was  piu'sued,  anil  tlien  lay  back, 
in  a  burst  of  laughter. 

"  I  do  wonder  what  happened,"  was  one 
of  her  thoughts.  "  Well,  I  am  safo  out  of 
it,  thank  goodness  !  And  I  don't  believe  any 
body  noticed  nic." 

Meautimo  Mr.  Druuimond,  journeying 
glumly  toward  the  Capitol,  had  once  more 
"  soured  "  considerably  ujion  the  jiretty  wid- 
ow, saying  to  himself  that  she  hardly  paid 
for  the  trouble  she  made.  Of  course  he  felt 
that  ho  had  been  showing  off  to  ridiculous 
disadvantage,  and  ho  more  than  suspected 
that  Mrs.  Murray  was  quite  sharp  enough 
to  perceive  and  enjoy  it.  So,  being  an  ego- 
tistic, as  well  as  a  truculent  and  vindictive, 
person,  ho  was  resolving  that  he  would  ex- 
pond  no  more  courtship  upon  her  for  a  sea- 
son, but  would  prove  to  her  his  value  and 
desirability  by  absence. 


CHAPTER  XXIV. 

A  PIECE   OF  AMERICAN  HUMOR. 

Ix  vain  did  Josie  hope  and  Sykes  Drum- 
mond  hope  that  they  had  got  out  of  that 
Appleyard  scuffle  before  any  of  its  mud 
could  stick  to  their  garments. 

Mr.  David  Shorthand,  the  local  editor  of 
the  Washington  Xcicsmonger,  though  not  per- 
sonally fortunate  enough  to  see  any  portion 
of  the  tragedy,  had  the  good  luck  to  meet 
a  gentleman  who  had  witnessed  the  close 
of  it.  This  person  he  interviewed,  as  the 
I)hrase  is  ;  then  he  interviewed  the  druggist 
and  his  dorks,  and  the  dirty  little  negro 
whose  scarecrow-hat  had  been  perforated ; 
finally  ho  probed  his  way  into  Squire  Nan- 
cy's ofiQce  and  interviewed  that  lovely  suf- 
ferer. 

It  is  certain  that  he  would  also  have  call- 
ed upon  Mr.  Druuimond  himself  for  particu- 
lars, only  that  he  remembered  the  young 
legislator  as  a  fellow  who  had  knocked  him 
down  some  two  or  three  years  before,  and 
feared  lest  he  might  take  advantage  of  a 
renewal  of  the  acquaiutanca  to  repeat  the 
operation. 

But  from  the  above-mentioned  individu- 
als, and  from  his  own  abominably  copious 
sewer  of  an  imagination,  he  drew  materials 
enough  to  give  such  a  report  of  the  aflair 
as  set  all  the  low  people  in  Washington 
roaring  with  laughter. 

Remembering  the  Drummond  fist,  he  men- 
tioned no  names ;  but  he  described  the  per- 
sonages of  his  drama  so  vividly  that  it  was 
not  hard  for  people  who  knew  them  to  rec- 
ognize them ;  and,  moreover,  he  used  such 
distinguishiug  phrases  as  "  the  heroic  Bloom- 
er," "the  lovely  little  widow,"  and  "the 
young  Lycurgus  of  the  Empire  State." 

The  narrative  was  a  masterpiece  of  that 


rowdy,  harlequin  fun  which  does  us  such 
credit  abroad  as  "Ameri(;an  humor."  It 
was  as  impudent  as  tiie  letters  of  Major  Jack 
Downing,  and  as  hyperbolical  as  the  rela- 
tions of  Mr.  John  Phtenix. 

Such  a  fight  as  it  made  out!  One  round 
after  another;  lirst  blood  for  the  heroic 
Bloomer;  first  knock-down  for  the  Empire 
State  Lycurgus;  the  lovely  widow  cheering 
on  her  honorable  champion  ;  the  crowd  hur- 
raing for  the  strong-minded  one:  a  full 
colunni  of  exaggerations  and  inventions! 
Mr.  Shorthand  wrote  out  of  an  intemperate 
imagination  and  a  rapidly  emptying  whisky- 
bottle.  For  it  nuist  be  understood  that  ho 
was  a  poor  blackguard  drunkard  ;  in  person, 
a  thin,  pale,  wizened,  downcast -looking, 
sneaking,  shabby  scarecrow ;  in  morals,  an 
impudent,  conscienceless,  rascally,  contempt- 
ible liar. 

It  is  almost  a  scandal  to  confess  that 
among  the  iirst  persons  to  read  this  pre- 
posterous narrative  were  the  Reverend  and 
Mrs.  Murray.  We  know  how  early  they  got 
up  in  the  morning,  and  what  a  i^raiseworthy 
thing  it  is  to  get  up  early,  especially  when 
there  is  no  cause  for  it.  But  all  the  sooner 
commenced  the  life-long  marital  task  of  tind- 
ing  amusement  for  a  mind  which  was  too 
weak  to  labor  and  at  the  same  time  too  act- 
ive to  be  patient  of  repose. 

So  Parson  Murray  took  that  dreadful 
sheet,  the  Kcwsmoncjer,  and  read  it  to  his 
wife  before  breakfast  just  as  regularly  as  he 
read  family  prayers  after  breakfast.  They 
were  both  a  little  ashamed  of  it ;  they  never 
alluded  to  it  except  among  their  most  inti- 
mate and  trustworthy  friends ;  they  com- 
mented upon  its  scandalous  items  in  such 
phrases  as,  "Impudent!  Perfectly  outra- 
geous!    Plow  dare  he  print  such  stuff!"  etc. 

But  at  bottom  it  was  really  relished,  not 
only  by  fragile  old  Mrs.  Murray,  but  also  by 
her  reverend  husband.  Their  expressions 
of  disappi'obation  and  contempt  very  closely 
resembled  the  grimace  and  the  wiping  of 
the  mouth  with  which  an  ancient  druukard 
apologizes  for  his  dram. 

Well,  they  read  Mr.  Shorthand's  effusion 
nearly  through,  and  laughed  over  it  as  much 
as  people  usually  do  laugh  before  breakfast, 
ere  they  began  to  suspect  that  it  concerned 
their  household.  Of  a  sudden  the  old  lady 
looked  lip  with  a  start  of  frightened  com- 
prehension, and  exclaimed : 

"  Why,  Mr.  Murray !" 

"You — don't — think  so  ?"  answered  the 
husband,  catching  her  suspicion,  and  staring 
horror-stricken  at  her  over  the  top  of  the 
now  shaking  paper. 

"Why,  it  is!  Why,  Mr. Murray,  it  cer- 
tainly is!  Why,  Mr.  Murray,  it's  perfectly 
shameful !" 

"  It  does  read  like  it !"  gasped  Mr.  Jlur- 
ray.  "  Lovely  young  widow ;  one  of  the 
belles  of  tho  season ;  related  to  one  of  our 


84 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


most  respect aljle  clergymen.  It  does  cer- 
tainlj'  read  like  it." 

"And  she  knows  that  Congressman — I 
can't  think  of  his  name  now,  but  I  know 
who  it  means — she  knows  him  and  walks 
with  him." 

"  I  remember — Rimmon  ? — Crummond  ? 
"What  is  it  V  mumbled  the  rector. 

"  No,  not  Crummond.  Oh,  I've  got  it  now. 
No,  I  haven't.  Yes,  I  have.  Drummond — 
that's  the  name — Drummond,  Drummond," 
repeated  Mrs.  Murray,  with  her  mind's  eye 
fixed  on  the  pages  of  her  diary.  '•  Yes, 
Drummond!  She  knows  him,  and  she  goes 
out  with  him.  And  so  she  is  the  lovely 
widow,  and  all  this  is  about  her!  Oh,  Mr. 
Mun-ay,  what  shall  we  do  ?  I  can't  stand 
this ;  I'm  siire  I  can't.  It  is  too  much.  It 
will  make — me — sick  !" 

The  emphasis  and  pathos  with  which  she 
uttered  this  prophecy  revealed  a  fervid  in- 
stinct of  self-preservation  and  an  almost 
.life-long  habit  of  self-care.  For  thirty  years 
'  and  more  a  large  part  of  her  purposes  and 
anxieties  had  been  devoted  to  the  problem 
of  how  not  to  grow  old,  not  to  be  ill,  and  not 
to  die. 

But  why  should  the  "American  humor" 
of  the  Xeivsmoiujer  strike  her  with  such  dis- 
may ?  ^Yell,  she  was  a  "  born  lady,"  both  in 
blood  and  iu  character ;  she  had  the  honor- 
able sensitiveness  and  the  honorable  though 
occasionally  whimsical  pride  of  that  most 
worthy  type  of  humanity;  she  had  never 
herself  done  a  deed  which  society  could  scoff 
at,  and  she  loved  to  believe  that  her  rela- 
tives were  worthy  of  her.  Both  the  Mur- 
rays  and  her  own  blood-kindred,  they  were 
all  hereditary,  infallible  gentlemen  and  la- 
dies, the  objects  of  her  veneration  and  the 
world's.  The  idea  that  her  most  respecta- 
ble breed  should,  through  the  naughtiness 
or  indecorum  or  imprudence  of  one  of  its 
retainers,  become  a  mark  for  scandal  and 
scorn  was  enough,  as  she  afterward  solemn- 
ly remarked,  "to  make  any  one  sick." 

"  I  am  afraid  it  is  the  nature  of  the  crea- 
ture to  have  such  things  happen  to  her," 
groaned  the  clergyman.  "  There  are  the  old 
stories — " 

"  I  don't  believe  them !"  exclaimed  Mrs. 
Murray,  who  had  already  pronounced  for 
her  favorite  against  those  accusations,  and 
did  not  like  Ijcing  called  on  to  reverse  her 
judgment.  "But  this  is  dreadful  enough. 
She  vnist  be  inconsiderate.  To  get  such  a 
vile  piece  as  that  written  about  her,  and  us 
mixed  np  with  it  —  it  is  too  bad!  I  don't 
know  what  I  shall  do.  I  can't  stand  it.  It 
will  make  me  sick." 

Indeed  it  seemed  likely ;  she  had  been 
tossing  her  hands  about  in  a  wild  way,  ver- 
ging on  hysteria;  and  now  she  began  to  cry 
outright.  Nor  did  Mr.  Murray,  although  a 
man  of  good  natural  parts  and  of  fair  intel- 
lectual training,  behave  with  much  great- 


er self-control.  The  spectacle  of  his  wife's 
trouble  acted  upon  his  sensitive  nerves  as 
the  spectacle  of  one  lunatic's  ravings  acts 
upon  another  lunatic. 

He  did  not  walk  the  room  in  anger,  for 
frequent  rheumatism,  and  chronic  muscular 
weakness  resulting  from  it,  made  walking 
difficult  to  him,  and  he  rarely  used  his  legs 
except  for  the  purpose  of  getting  to  some 
desired  point.  He  sat  still,  with  his  slipper- 
ed feet  iu  a  chair,  softly  patting  his  wife's 
hand  ;  but  mentally,  the  while,  he  was  in  a 
state  of  feverish  action,  talking  loudly  and 
wrathfully. 

"  I  won't  have  it !"  he  exclaimed.  "  Don't 
cry,  my  dear  Iluldah  ;  I  wish  you  wouldn't 
cry.  I  won't  have  so  many  men  here.  I 
won't  have  her  rushing  about  so  incessant- 
ly. I  will  have  some  peace  and  order  and 
decorum  in  my  own  house.  I  won't  have  a 
life  going  on  around  me  which  can  lead  to 
such  adventures  and  such  comments." 

"  Such  adventures  and  comments,"  repeat- 
ed Mrs.  Murray,  wiping  her  eyes.  "  Such  a 
disgrace  to  the  family !" 

"  I  don't  mind  about  that,"  said  the  rec- 
tor. "The  family  may  take  care  of  itself, 
and  can  take  care  of  itself.  My  ancestors 
are  out  of  harm's  way.  But  I  will  not  have 
you  tormented.  You  need  rest.  You  have 
had  excitement  enough  of  late  to  kill  a 
horse.  I  will  allow  it  no  longer;  I  will 
imt  a  stop  to  it — an  entire  stop!  an  i'lstaut 
stop!  It  must  be  stopped.  I'll  stop  it  my- 
self if  no  one  else  will.  I  say  I  will  sto^)  it 
— stop  it." 

It  was  a  marked  symptom  of  excitement, 
this  frequent  and  eager  and  indistinct  itera- 
tion of  one  word,  this  stammering  of  both 
mind  and  tongue.  His  face,  too,  was  flushed, 
and  his  large  features  disturbed  by  twitch- 
iugs,  while  his  free  hand  was  in  constant 
movement.  Had  the  family  physician  been 
present,  he  would  probably  have  advised 
him  to  go  to  bed  and  have  his  feet  soaked 
in  hot  water.  Itlrs.  Murray,  who  knew  him, 
of  course,  better  than  any  doctor,  soon  noted 
his  nervous  agitation,  and  took  alarm  at  it, 
to  the  partial  forgetting  of  her  own  trouble. 

"  Don't,  Mr.  Murray  I"  she  begged.  "  Don't 
say  another  word  about  it.  I  shall  feel  bet- 
ter in  a  minute." 

But  the  rector's  sickly  outbursts  could  not 
be  quelled  at  once,  not  even  by  the  voice  of 
the  woman  for  whom  he  had  lived  a  life  of 
pure  love. 

"  I  can't  have  it — I  can't  have  it,"  he  b.ab- 
bled  ou.  "I  won't  have  it.  I  say  it  must 
stop — all  stop.  I  say  so,  and  when  I  say 
things  I  mean  them,"  declared  this  mild  old 
valetudinarian,  who  considered  himself  a 
stern  and  belligerent  person.  "  I  mean  what 
I  say.  I  mean  it — every  word  of  it — every 
word." 

"  Do  stop,  Mr.  Murray,"  urged  the  old  lad3-, 
becoming  thoroughly  frightened.    "  Yon  are 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


65 


so  excitable !"  slio  .ndiTcd,  with  a  slight  sense 
of  grievance  in  that  she  had.  not  hocn  al- 
lowed to  have  her  own  excitement  out.  "  I 
wouldn't  mind  about  it  now — not  tbis  time. 
I  don't  suppose  she  will  rush  into  another 
such  adventure.  I  do  hope  you  won't  say  a 
word  to  her,  at  least  not  till  wo  learn  more 
about  it — not  till  jou  know  you  must  inter- 
fere. You  get  so  excited  when  you  go  at 
l^eoplo !  You  will  hurt  yourself:  I  am  sure 
you  will.  You  will  have  one  of  your  at- 
tacks. And  then  —  if  you  are  taken  down 
sick — what  is  to  become  of  we.^"  she  fairlj' 
whimpered. 

This  was  an  appeal  never  uttered  in  vain. 
The  shattered  man,  whoso  afiections  could 
never  l)e  shattered,  remembered  that  he  must 
keep  himself  well  iu  order  to  care  for  his 
fragile  wife,  and  strove  to  bring  his  mind 
back  to  calmness.  Nearly  all  of  his  child- 
ishness was  for  her  sake ;  and  for  her  sake 
also  was  much  of  his  finest  manliness. 

Thus  happened  it  that,  when  Josie  Mur- 
ray came  down  to  breakfast  that  morning, 
she  got  no  lecture  from  her  protectors  con- 
cei'uing  her  street  misadventure,  and  was 
called  upon  for  no  explanation.  The  Kcws- 
monger  was,  of  course,  hidden,  as,  indeed,  it 
had  always  been  hidden,  from  her,  lest  her 
innocent  soul  should  be  harmed  by  those 
readings  which  were  so  refreshing  to  elder 
and  wiser  people.  She  found  the  rector  and 
wife  jaded  and  indisposed  to  talk,  and  learn- 
ed from  them  that  their  slumbers  had  been 
broken  by  the  iieighbor's  dog,  a  fictitious 
animal  of  whom  they  spoke  with  great  se- 
verity. It  was  wrong,  of  course,  to  tell  such 
a  fib ;  but,  then,  Mr.  Murray  must  not  be  al- 
lowed to  get  excited  ;  no,  nor  Mrs.  Murray 
either.  In  fact,  if  Josie  had  committed  a 
murder  the  day  before,  and  the  Xetcsmonger 
had  contained  all  the  harrowing  j)artieu- 
lars,  these  two  frail  old  people  would  scarce- 
ly have  spoken  to  her  about  it,  for  fear  of 
making  themselves  sick. 

Besides,  she  was  an  immense  amusement ; 
and  they  really  liked  her  very  much,  espe- 
cially when  she  was  present ;  and  would 
have  been  sorry  to  give  her  pain,  unless  it 
were  likely  to  redound  to  their  health.  This 
morning  she  did  her  best  to  bo  agreeable, 
for  there  was  a  little  fear  in  her  soul  lest  the 
Applcyard  adventure  should  get  out,  and 
she  felt  the  need  of  help  and  of  all  her 
friends.  So  she  racked  her  brain  for  tattle 
and  stories,  and  was  so  prodigiously  divert- 
ing, that  Mrs.  Murray  soon  fell  to  giggling, 
whereupon  the  rector  laughed  to  see  his 
wife  laugh. 

Meantime  the  article  in  the  Xmrsmongcr 
made  quite  a  wonderful  uproar  in  Washing- 
ton society.  Multitudes  of  people  took  that 
lampooning  j)eriodical,  although  nearly  ev- 
ery body  talked  more  or  less  in  dispraise  of 
it.  So  Dave  Shorthand's  sample  of  Ameri- 
can humor  was  read  and  laughed  over  at 


hundreds  of  breakfast-tables,  and  laughed 
over  all  the  more,  because  the  persons  whom 
it  displayed  were  generally  recognized,  and 
were  notabilities.  Of  course,  Siiuire  Apple- 
yard  Avas  famous,  as  any  woman  may  be 
who  will  persistently  wear  trowsers,  or  as 
any  man  might  be  who  should  iuvest  him- 
self with  petticoats.  Josie  Murray,  too, 
was  already  well  known  as  a  leader  of  fiasli- 
ion  and  llirting,  while  Drummond  had  an 
enviable  repute  for  ability,  and  a  disagreea- 
ble one  for  other  things. 

Indeed,  the  Shorthand  article  promptly 
became  a  Congressional  matter,  at  least  so 
far  as  to  be  gravely  talked  over  in  com- 
mittee-rooms. Mr.  llollowbread,  dropping 
in  upon  General  Daniel  Bangs,  the  noted 
chairman  of  the  Committee  on  Spoliations, 
was  unich  disgusted  at  finding  that  gentle- 
man reading  the  history  of  the  Appleyard 
combat,  and  gutfawing  to  himself  over  it. 
The  Shorthand  style,  with  its  slang,  its  har- 
lequin wit,  its  coarse  insinuations,  and  its 
Bowery  impudence,  was  just  the  kind  of 
writing  to  please  the  general.  It  bore  a  dis- 
agreeably close  resemblance  to  the  dash- 
ing, rollicking,  billingsgate  eloquence  with 
which  he  was  accustomed  to  defend  thieves 
and  murderers  before  juries,  and  demagog- 
ical swindlers  before  Congress.  For  the 
great  wire-puller  was  by  profession  a  crim- 
inal lawyer,  and,  as  some  plagiaristic  jokers 
put  it,  a  very  criminal  lawyer.  To  give  the 
devil  his  due,  by-the-way,  we  must  not  omit 
the  fact  that  he  had  great  power  of  speech, 
aside  from  his  street  Arab- wit.  He  could 
grasp  the  whole  of  a  difficult  case  or  a  com- 
plicated bill  :  he  could  argue  the  right  or 
the  wrong  side  of  either  with  admirable 
completeness  of  view,  closeness  of  logic,  and 
vigor  of  statement ;  he  was  not  wanting,  ei- 
ther, in  the  notes  of  high  appeal,  or,  strange 
to  say,  of  moving  pathos ;  and,  finally,  his 
diction  was  singularly  lucid,  varied,  and 
precise,  for  an  extemporaneous  orator.  Iu 
fact,  he  was  a  very  able  man,  and  would, 
perhaps,  have  been  a  great  one,  if  he  had 
possessed  any  moral  principles,  or  could 
have  imagined  them  in  others.  His  con- 
stant stumbling-block  was  this,  that  he  be- 
lieved that  all  his  countrymen  were  rogues, 
and  could  be  moved  by  merely  roguish  mo- 
tives. 

"  By  the  Lord,  I  should  think  I  had  writ- 
ten that  myself,"  roared  the  general,  as  Jo- 
sie's  advocate  entered  the  committee-room. 
"Look  here,  HoUowbread,  have  you  seen 
this  neat  joke  on  Drummond,  Appleyard, 
and  Co.  ?" 

Mr.  HoUowbread,  who  did  not  consider  it 
a  neat  joke,  but,  on  the  contrary,  a  very 
foul-mouthed  one,  nodded  rather  grimly. 

"And  so  Drummond  got  a  sound  cowhid- 
ing  —  ho,  ho,  ho!''  shouted  the  honorable 
chairman.  "  It's  astonishing.  I  thought 
he   was  a   man   of  muscle   and   grit,  who 


86 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


wouldn't  let  even  a  woman  whip  him.  I 
don't  see  how  fellows  jjut  up  with  such  as- 
saults. If  a  termagant  attempted  to  wale 
me  in  that  style,  I  should  just  simply  and 
forcibly  knock  her  down.  However,  it 
serves  Drummond  right — cuts  his  comb  for 
him." 

"Mr.  Dmmmond  was  not  waled  at  all," 
answered  Hollowbread,  whose  desire  it  was 
to  demolish  Shorthand's  entire  history,  and 
destroy  what  little  credit  it  deserved.  "  I 
have  taken  the  pains  to  look  into  this  bab- 
ble.    It  is  mainly  a  fabrication." 

"  Oh,  is  it  V  laughed  General  Bangs,  even 
more  amused  than  before.  "  I  dare  say. 
The  Newsmonger  is  up  to  any  thing.  It  is  a 
devilish  clever  jiaper.  But  what  interest 
do  yon  take  in  the  business"?  You  don't 
want  to  help  out  Drummond  for  any  thing, 
do  you  ?  If  it's  all  the  same  to  you,  I  want 
him  smashed.  He  is  a  conceited,  impudent 
bully,  and  in  every  body's  way." 

Mr.  Hollowbread  did  not  say  what  he 
thought  concerning  this  declaration  of  opin- 
ion and  feeling.  Had  he  been  regardless 
of  consequences,  and  had  it  been  the  fash- 
ion of  this  world  to  utter  every  discovera- 
ble truth  on  all  occasions,  he  would  have 
remarked  on  the  curious  fact  that  one  con- 
ceited, impudent  bully  should  hate  another. 
But  he  was  chiefly  anxious  to  promote  the 
welfare  of  Josie  Murray,  and  to  that  end  he 
desired  to  keep  the  good -will  of  General 
Bangs. 

"I  wouldn't  perhaps  mind  smashing 
Drummond,"  he  said;  "or  that  idiot  of  a 
Nancy  Appleyard,  either.  But  I  have  an 
interest  in  seeing  this  whole  invention  ex- 
I^loded,  for  the  reason  that  it  casts  insinua- 
tions upon  another  person,  a  lady  whom  I 
regard  with  profound  respect." 

He  spoke  the  truth.  It  is  a  wonderful 
and  almost  a  beautiful  fact  that  he  abso- 
lutely revered  Josie  Murray.  She  was  a 
young  flirt,  and  he  was  a  practiced  old  beau 
and  wire-puller,  and  yet  he  loved  her  so  sin- 
cerely that  he  worshiped  the  very  thought 
of  her. 

"  Oh,  the  lovely  widow !"  exclaimed  the 
general,  changing  his  horse-laugh  to  a  know- 
ing grin,  by  no  means  respectful  to  Josie. 
"  So  it  was  ijour  lovely  widow,  the  pretty 
claimant?  But  how  the  dickens  came  she 
to  be  so  mixed  up  with  Drummond  and  the 
Appleyard  woman  ?" 

"  She  was  not  mixed  up  with  them,"  as- 
serted Mr.  Hollowbread  trembling  and  per- 
spiring with  wrath.  "She  was  joiued  in 
the  street  by  Drummond,  who  has  the  brass, 
you  know,  to  join  any  body — to  join  the  Ma- 
donna, or  his  Creator!  She  had  scarcely 
walked  a  block  with  him,  and  was  just  turn- 
ing into  a  shop  to  get  rid  of  him,  when 
that  lunatic  hermaphrodite  appeared  with 
her  cowhide.  All  this  I  learned  from  Mrs. 
Murray  herself,  whom  I  saw  not  an  hour 


ago.  As  for  tho  flogging,  I  have  gathered 
from  other  j)arties  that  not  a  blow  was 
struck,  and  that  Drummond  took  away  the 
whip,  pushed  the  Bloomer  into  the  gutter, 
and  walked  oif.  Nearly  the  whole  story  of 
the  Newsmonger  is  a  pure,  simple,  low-bred, 
scoundrelly  fabrication." 

"Exactly — I  dare  say,"  answered  Bangs, 
accustomed  to  meet  with  fabrications  and 
to  make  them. 

As  a  criminal  lawyer,  he  had  fabricated 
evidence ;  as  a  general  in  the  late  war,  he 
had  fabricated  accounts  of  victories ;  as  a 
politician,  he  had  fabricated  slanderous  let- 
ters and  braggadocio  telegrams.  There  was 
no  end  to  his  latitude  of  lying,  and  he 
honestly  believed  that  his  fellow-men  were 
equally  illimitable  in  that  direction,  espe- 
cially when  they  belonged  to  the  "  brother- 
hood of  the  j)ress." 

"  I  dare  say,"  repeated  the  general,  mean- 
while meditating  tranquilly.  "  See  here, 
Hollowbread,"  he  added;  "you  came  to  me 
about  this  alfair,  didn't  you  ?  You  have 
this  lady's  interests  at  heart  ?  Well,  some- 
thing ought  to  be  done.  Such  a  story  as 
this  may  cast  a  shadow  on  your  claiuiant, 
and  injure  her  prospects  in  the  House.  Let 
me  give  you  a  bit  of  advice." 


CHAPTEE  XXV. 

A  LYING  COUNSELOR  AND  A  TATTLING 
STATESMAN. 

"I  snoL'LD  value  any  advice  from  you. 
General,"  observed  Mr.  Hollowbread,  j)olite- 
ly,  for  he  was  very  anxious  to  please  the 
potent  chairman  of  the  Committee  on  Spoli- 
ations. 

Mr.  Bangs  returned  no  thanks  of  any  sort 
for  this  compliment,  and  did  not  so  much  as 
look  at  his  colleague  in  legislation.  He  was 
a  bearish,  business-like  man,  eagerly  intent 
all  the  while  upon  bringing  things  to  pass, 
and  not  given  to  spending  time  or  mind  iu 
courtesies. 

Tilting  back  his  chair,  rummaging  with 
both  hands  iu  his  trowsers-iiockets,  and 
staring  at  the  wall  as  if  ho  were  seeing  clean 
through  it,  he  thought  out  a  fabrication. 

"Deny  tho  whole  thing,"  was  his  conclu- 
sion. "  That  is,  so  far  as  concerns  ilrs.  Mur- 
ray. Tliat's  her  name,  I  believe.  Deny 
that  she  was  walking  with  Drunmiond. 
Say  that  she  was  just  going  into  this  shop 
when  tho  fracas  occuiTcd.  Say  that  she  had 
no  more  to  do  with  it,  or  with  the  causes 
that  led  to  it,  tlian  the  people  on  the  other 
side  of  the  street,  or  tho  man  in  the  moon. 
And,  by-thc-way,  Drummond  had  better  do 
tho  denying.  I  don't  see  why  he  shouldn't ; 
lie  can't  want  to  hurt  Mrs.  Murray.  Be- 
sides, I  can  bring  him  to  do  the  amiable 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


87 


tliiug,  I  know.      IIo  often   wants  an   axe 
ground  in  nij'  committee." 

Mr.  Hollowbread,  notwithstanding  his  deep 
anxiety  about  the  matter  in  hand,  couhl 
hardly  help  smiling  at  this  wholesale  proposi- 
tion. The  impudent  mendacity  of  General 
Bangs  was  well  known,  not  to  say  favorably 
known  in  Congress,  and  had  become  a  sort  of 
standing  joke  among  his  brother  houorables. 
It  was  looked  upon  as  characteristically  hu- 
morous, like  the  droll  exaggerations  of  Mark 
Twain  or  the  whimsies  of  Artemus  Ward. 

People  were  as  little  surprised  and  as 
much  diverted  at  hearing  a  whapper  from 
Bangs  as  they  were  at  reading  an  extrava- 
ganza in  "Roughing  It,"  or  a  cacographic 
quip  in  Josh  Billings's  "  Almiuax."  I  allude, 
of  course,  to  people  Avho  knew  the  great 
wire-puller  familiarly  "inside  politics;"  for 
among  the  worthy  citizens  outside  of  that 
charmed  circle  there  were  hosts  who  held 
him  truthful  and  noble.  All  his  life  he 
had  lied ;  even  in  the  army,  that  school  of 
honor  for  most  men,  he  had  lied;  at  the 
head  of  patriots  and  heroes,  he  had  trumpet- 
ed countless  falsehoods. 

We  may  be  allowed,  perhaps,  to  devote  one 
brief  passage  to  the  career  of  this  brassy 
being  as  a  soldier.  Early  iu  the  war,  and 
while  yet  a  complete  ignoramus  in  militarj* 
affairs,  he  had  been  appointed  to  high  com- 
mand because  he  was  a  man  of  parts,  and  be- 
cause he  proclaimed  himself  a  man  of  influ- 
ence. All  through  the  struggle  he  had  held 
eminent  positions,  giving  orders  to  officers 
of  far  greater  ability  thau  himself,  and  to 
many  thousand  soldiers  of  far  greater  cour- 
age^ 

Never  but  twice  had  he  been  under  fire, 
and  then  only  by  dint  of  blundering  —  a 
blundering  promptly  rectified.  Never  had 
he  devised  a  campaign,  and  never  overlooked 
a  field  of  victory.  His  real  battles  were  car- 
ried on  iu  his  tent,  or  oftener  in  superb  quar- 
ters in  the  midst  of  cities,  surrounded  by  a 
staff"  of  newspaper  correspondents.  These 
heroes  of  the  pen  did  for  him  all  the  fight- 
ing that  he  directed  or  knew  how  to  direct. 
They  did  it  on  paper,  and  under  his  dicta- 
tion. They  wrote  out  his  strategj-  and  his 
tactics,  and  forwarded  them  for  prompt  pub- 
lication. They  put  him  at  the  head  of  col- 
umns on  columns  of  print.  No  other  gener- 
al in  history  has  won  so  many  battles  which 
were  never  fought,  or  which  were  fought 
under  the  management  of  others.  They 
were  devoted  to  him,  these  Dugald  Dalgettys 
of  the  press,  and  for  cause.  He  entreated 
them  kindly;  he  was  hail-fellow-well-met 
with  the  meanest  of  them  ;  they  could  al- 
Avays  have  access  to  his  presence,  whoever 
else  was  excluded ;  they  could  have  tents  and 
beasts  and  rations  and  commissary  whisky 
for  the  asking.  Greatest  favor  of  all,  lie 
furnished  them  with  important  information 
— or  rather  he  feigned  so  to  do- 


In  short,  he  was  the  most  wonderful  gen- 
eral that  the  world  had  seen  since  the  Golden 
Age,  and  it  is  not  likely  that  he  will  be  par- 
alleled until  the  coming  of  the  millennium. 

And,  strange  as  it  may  seem  iu  view  of 
this  absurd  history,  Daniel  Bangs  was  a  man 
of  ability,  ambition,  perseverance,  and  reso- 
lution. Where  there  was  no  peril  of  bodily 
harm,  and  no  likelihood  of  ruinous  defeat,  he  j 
could  show  great  mental  and  moral  force.  ; 
He  had  more  wire-pulling  cunning,  more 
adroitness  iu  managing  men  througli  their 
weaknesses  and  vices,  than  any  other  Ameri- 
can of  his  day.  He  loved  power  dearly,  en- 
joyed the  exercise  of  it,  smacked  his  lips 
over  it,  rollicked  iu  it.  He  wanted  to  be 
President,  not  Avith  the  hope  of  initiating 
noble  measures,  but  solely  for  the  ostentation 
of  the  thing,  for  the  pleasure  of  giving  or- 
ders. He  Avas  the  stubbornest  puppy,  and 
the  most  regardless  of  dirt,  that  ever  tugged 
and  snarled  at  a  root.  No  labor  could  tire 
him;  no  succession  of  failures  could  discour- 
age him ;  no  exposure  or  scorn  could  shame 
him. 

If  he  had  possessed  sense  of  honor  enough 
to  know  how  to  appear  honorable,  and  nu)- 
rality  enough  to  perceive  that  most  of  his 
countrymen  are  moA'edby  moral  sentiments, 
he  would  ha\'e  been  a  far  more  successful 
man  thau  he  was,  and  probably  he  Avould 
liaA'O  been  a  greater  one.  As  things  stood, 
there  was  not  the  remotest  hojie  of  his  be- 
coming President ;  he  could  not  climb  so 
high  as  the  Senate,  but  must  stop  in  the 
House ;  aiul  e%'en  there  he  could  only  preside 
over  a  third-rate  committee. 

Yet,  in  this  miuor  sphere  there  was  some 
authority,  and  consequently  some  joy,  for 
this  braAvliug,  insolent  man.  It  was  a  pleas- 
ure to  him  to  see  the  comparati\'ely  respecta- 
ble HoUowbread  looking  up  to  him  for  the 
sake  of  getting  a  naughty  axe  ground  and  a 
shabby  subterfuge  managed. 

"  I'll  see  that  Drummond  writes  the  prop- 
er letter,"  he  promised,  jovially .  "  We'll  get 
the  mud  of  this  fracas  rubbed  off  your  love- 
ly claimant.  By-the-Avay,  who  is  the  author 
of  the  story  iu  the  Xcirsmonger?" 

"  It  is  a  loAv,  drunken  beast  named  Short- 
hand," stated  Mr.  Hollowl)read. 

"  Oh,  Dave  Shorthand  !*'  laughed  the  gen- 
eral, who  had  an  amazing  memory  for  per- 
sons as  well  as  for  facts.  "I  remember  the 
coon.  He  was  one  of  my  correspondents  in 
the  field.  I'll  send  for  him,  and  tell  him  to 
retract  his  nonsense,  and  slip  his  retraction 
into  the  Xewsmongcr.  He'll  do  any  thing 
that  I  want  him  to." 

Mr.  HoUoAvbread  bowed  his  thanks  cheer- 
fully, and  yet  Avith  an  inner  sense  of  humil- 
iation ;  then,  straightening  himself  up  to  the 
demands  of  his  shoulder-braces,  he  took  his 
departure. 

Meantime  there  was  a  gabble  and  giggle 
about  the  Appleyard  melee  in  society  jiroper. 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


Perhaps  we  can  best  give  an  idea  of  it  by 
reporting  a  brief  dialogue  wliich  Belle  War- 
den listened  to  during  a  call  ou  Mrs.  Senator 
Ironman.  The  persons  whom  she  found 
there  were  the  lady  of  the  house,  the  middle- 
aged  and  dandified  and  Dnndrearyish  sena- 
tor, and  that  dashing,  sumptuous  young 
brunette,  Mrs.  John  Vane. 

Ironman,  by-  the  -way,  was  a  fervent  ad- 
mirer of  this  rather  loud  and  glaring  Cleopa- 
tra, and  frequently  managed  to  be  present 
when  she  made  her  visits.  Mrs.  Ironman,  a 
lady  of  excellent  temper  and  worldly  good 
sense,  was  perfectly  aware  of  her  husband's 
infatuation,  but  made  no  attempt  to  dispel 
it,  lest  he  might  do  worse. 

When  Belle  was  announced,  the  eminent 
legislator  shipped  to  the  door  and  waited  on 
her  into  the  parlor,  for  he  had  the  manners 
of  fine  society,  and  was  gallant  to  all  pret- 
ty women.  But  as  soon  as  the  salutations 
were  uttered,  he  turned  eagerly  to  his  fa- 
vorite. 

"  I  say,  BIrs.  Vane,  why  not  go  on  with 
your  story  ?"  he  pleaded,  in  his  simpering 
way.  "  I  dare  say  Miss  Warden  would  be 
delighted  to  hear  it." 

"  Some  nonsense  from  the  Xeivsmonger,  my 
dear,"  nodded  Mrs.  Ironman,  who  despised 
her  husband's  jiassion  for  small  gossip,  but 
let  him  enjoy  it.  He  was  incurable,  she  ad- 
mitted ;  there  was  no  doing  any  thing  with 
such  a  goose.  You  might  as  well  let  him 
hiss  and  cackle  as  ho  was  born  to  do. 

"  Oh,  I  dare  say  Miss  Warden  has  read  it," 
observed  Mrs.  Vane,  who  had  the  grace  not 
to  want  to  appear  a  tattler.  "  Every  body 
has,  I  believe,  except  this  benighted  family." 

"  I  never  read  the  Xewsmonger"  said  Belle ; 
and  the  respectable  statement  was  true  of 
her,  though  not  of  her  mother. 

"It's  something  about  Squire  Appleyard 
— that  little  Bloomer,  you  know — and  a  fel- 
low in  the  House  named  Drummond,  and 
that  little  Mrs.  Murray,  you  know,"  inter- 
]50sed  Ironman,  impatient  to  get  at  his 
sugar-plum  of  scandal. 

"Yes,  and  it's  too  funny  for  any  thing," 
laughed  Olympia  Vane.  "That  poor  Mrs. 
Murray!  I  don't  see  how  she  can  stay  on 
here." 

"  Oh,  she's  a  rival  of  yours,"  observed  Mrs. 
Ironman,  who  quite  liked  Josie,  and  who 
sometimes  liked  to  quench  Mrs.  V. 

"  No  rival  at  all ;  Mrs.  Vane  has  no  rivals," 
declared  the  senator,  eagerly.  "That  is, 
among  the  new-comers,"  he  added,  remem- 
bering the  presence  of  his  wife  and  of  Belle. 

"You  will  see  that  she  won't  run  away," 
persisted  Mrs. Ironman.  "Who  ever  leaves 
Washington  for  a  scandal  ?" 

Olympia,  remembering,  perhaps,  that  she 
had  been  talked  about  in  connection  with 
the  senator,  turned  rather  hot  under  this  re- 
mark, and  made  no  comment. 

"  I  move  that  we  proceed  with  the  story," 


said  the  impatient  Ironman.  "Miss  War- 
den must  be  dj-ing  to  hear  it." 

"I  can't  do  justice  to  it,"  Olympia  re- 
sponded, sulkily,  for  the  hostess's  insinua- 
tions had  not  pleased  her,  and  she  was  one 
of  the  "huflty"sort. 

She  told  it,  nevertheless,  and  told  it  with 
minuteness  and  gusto,  so  anxious  was  she  to 
put  down  Josie  Mui'ray.  The  senator  list- 
ened with  shouts  and  spasms  of  laughter; 
he  threw  back  his  little  baldish  head,  and 
opened  his  weak  month  widely ;  he  stretch- 
ed out  his  long,  thin  legs  convulsively,  and 
nearly  slipped  from  his  chair.  There  never 
was  a  more  jovial  dignitary  since  the  days 
when  dignitaries  kept  jesters. 

"  So  the  Bloomer  did  the  cowhiding,  and 
the  little  widow  looked  on !"  ho  shrieked. 

"  No,  she  didn't  look  on,  she  just  ran  right 
away — the  more  shame  to  her!"  giggled  the 
triumphing  Olympia.  "  It  does  seem  to  me 
that  I  would  not  have  done  that.  I  would 
have  tried  to  save  my  admirer." 

"  I  do  believe  you  would,  Mrs.  Vane,"  sim- 
pered the  senator,  admiringly  and  almost 
gratefully.  Perhaps  he  imagined  a  scene  in 
which  Mrs.  Ironman  should  attempt  to  flog 
him,  and  Olympia  should  come  to  his  rescue. 

"He  was  not  worth  the  saving,"  declared 
the  hostess.  "A  man  who  gets  himself  into 
such  a  position,  and  then  does  not  know  how 
to  get  out  of  it  without  being  caned,  should 
be  left  to  suffer." 

"  He  must  be  an  enormously  amusing  ass, 
that  Drummond,"  judged  the  member  of  the 
Upper  House.  "  I  thiuk  I  shall  have  to  have 
him  here." 

"  No, no,"  objected  Mrs.  Ironman,  with  qui- 
et resolution.  "  There  are  some  things  that 
I  won't  permit." 

The  senator  seemed  to  perceive  that  on 
this  question  the  majority  was  against  him, 
and  he  succumbed  at  once  with  unremon- 
sti'ating,  unruffled  good-nature,  as  he  always 
did  when  his  wife  spoke  in  a  certain  tone. 
Meantime  Belle  Warden  had  not  once  smiled 
over  Mrs.  Vane's  scandalous  narrative.  It 
was  plain  enough  to  her  that  that  lady's  de- 
sire in  rehearsing  it  was  to  discredit  a  rival 
in  society ;  and  for  such  a  motive  she  was 
capable  of  feeling  as  thorough  a  contempt  as 
the  manliest  gentleman  that  ever  breathed. 
At  the  same  time,  having  carefully  studied 
Josie's  ways,  and  judged  her  to  bo  unprin- 
cipled, she  had  no  wish  to  step  forward  as 
her  champion. 

"  You  don't  care  for  this  sort  of  trash,  my 
dear,"  said  Mrs.  Ironman  to  her,  with  a 
glance  of  approbation  which  was  very  se- 
vere upon  the  other  two.     "  I  like  it  in  you." 

The  senator,  as  impervious  to  contempt  as 
an  idiot  could  be,  continued  to  giggle  over 
the  Appleyard  farce.  Mrs.  John  Vane,  how- 
ever, started  in  visible  anguish  and  anger, 
and  seemed  to  bo  upon  the  point  of  rustling 
out  of  the  house.     But  just  then  a  servant 


PLAYIXG  THE  MISCHIEF. 


89 


aimonncctl  Miss  Elinor  Lcdyavd,  the  (laugh- 
ter of  tho  veteran  and  famous  senator  of 
that  name — one  of  those  Congressmen  whom 
■\ve  may  call  statesmen,  one  of  those  who  de- 
serve tho  title  of  Honorable.  Now,  if  Olym- 
pia  desired  any  one  thing  more  than  all  oth- 
ers, it  was  to  be  invited  to  this  gentleman's 
receptions  and  dinners.  Accordingly,  tho 
beautiful  tuft-hunter  composed  her  soul  and 
her  skirts  to  remain  during  tho  call  of  Miss 
Ledyard. 

Elinor  was  a  young  lady  of  agreeable  ap- 
pearance, and  yet  not  handsome  enough  to 
bo  considered  a  beauty.  Her  loveliness  con- 
sisted largely  in  a  thoroughly  ladj'-like  car- 
riage, and  in  an  expression  of  perfect  purity 
aud  moral  nobility.  Her  figure  was  too  tall 
and  slender  to  bo  altogether  fine,  and  her 
forehead  was  larger  and  heavier  than  be- 
longs to  feminine  grace.  Her  short-sighted- 
ness obliged  her  to  wear  eyeglasses,  but  she 
looked  only  tho  more  interesting  and  dis- 
tinguished because  of  them,  as  is  the  case 
with  persons  of  patrician  countenance.  "We 
ought  to  state,  by-the-way,  that  this  admi- 
rable young  woman  has  no  part  to  play  in 
our  history,  and  that  we  shall  not  even  see 
her  honorable  father  and  the  respectable 
legislators  with  whom  he  was  familiar.  It 
is  the  misfortune  of  one  who  writes  the  his- 
tory of  a  claimant,  that  he  can  not  be  iiis- 
tidious  in  his  company,  nor  give  much  space 
to  personages  of  high  worth.  We  have  in- 
troduced Miss  Ledyard  mainly  to  show  that 
we  concede  the  presence  of  delicately  jmre 
souls  in  the  xiolitical  circles  of  Washiug- 
tou. 

It  was  curious  to  note  that,  although  this 
girl  was  scarcely  twenty  years  old,  the  full- 
blown Olympia  Vane  courtesied  to  her  with 
an  eager,  smiling  trepidation  indicative  of  a 
palpitating  desire  to  please.  Bat  Senator 
Ironmau  was  too  obtuse  to  note  the  presence 
of  superior  purity,  or  to  bo  quelled  by  any 
revelation  of  womanly  dignity.  He  soou  al- 
luded to  the  Appleyard  scandal ;  he  urged 
Mrs.  Vane  to  tell  it  anew,  which  she,  with  a 
wink  at  him  and  a  glance  at  Miss  Ledyard, 
refused  to  do ;  finally,  in  an  eftbrt  to  rehearse 
it  himself,  he  broke  down  like  Lord  Dun- 
dreary on  the  threshold  of  a  "  widdle."  By 
this  time  the  four  ladies  were  in  an  awkward 
condition  of  gravity  and  anxiety.  But  the 
senator,  conscious  of  his  lofty  position  and 
quite  unconscious  of  his  low  abilities,  was 
not  in  the  least  discomposed. 

"  It's  the  drollest  thing,  by  Jove,  that  I 
ever  heard,"  he  giggled.  "  Miss  Elinor,  what 
does  your  father  think  of  it  ?" 

"  I  do  not  suppose  he  has  heard  of  it,"  re- 
turned the  young  lady,  calmly,  marveling  at 
this  Avonderful  lawgiver. 

Not  for  the  first  time  in  her  life,  but  for 
the  first  time  in  years,  Mrs.  Ironman  blushed 
for  her  husband. 

"My  dear,  do  you  suppose  that  Senator 


Ledyard  reads  the  Newsmonger?"  she  said  to 
him.     "  His  time  is  valuable." 

"Oil  yes, by  Jove!  and  all  our  time  is  val- 
uable," declared  Ironman.  "  But  it  isn't  ev- 
ery fellow  that  can  fag  at  it  all  tlie  while, 
like  Ledyard.  By  Jove,  I  don't  see  how  ho 
can  stand  such  an  amount  of  heavy  reading 
— del)ates,  history,  political  economy,  inter- 
national law,  and  all  that  sort  of  thing — 
positively  fatiguing  to  think  of.  Now,  most 
of  us  need  a  little  recreation  here  aud  there 
— something  to  make  a  fellow  laugh — some- 
thing jolly,  you  know,  Miss  Elinor.  And 
this  Appleyard  fracas  is  tho  joUiest  tliiug 
I've  heard  of  in  a  month." 

"Since  we  must  talk  of  it,  I  will  say  that 
I  am  very  sorry  for  the  Murrays,"  observed 
Mrs.  Irouman.  "  They  are  thoroughly  ex- 
cellent and  thoroughly  respectable  people. 
It  is  an  iusult  to  decent  society  that  they 
should  be  annoyed  by  such  disgraceful  arti- 
cles." 

"  I  agree  with  you,  Mrs.  Irouman,"  said 
Belle,  heartily.  "  They  are  perfectly  admi- 
rable. It  is  a  shame  to  drag  them  before  the 
public  in  this  way." 

"  Do  you  mean  that  young  Mrs.  Murray  is 
admirable  ?"  asked  Olympia  Vane,  forgetting 
what  little  prudence  she  had,  and  taking  up 
the  cudgels  for  her  scandal.  "  If  she  got  into 
the  affair,  it  is  because  she  went  into  it." 

"  I  have  heard  of  her,"  observed  Miss  Led- 
yard.    "People  say  she  is  charming,  but 

"  That  is  putting  it  very  gently.  Miss  Led- 
yard," smiled  Olympia,  anxious  to  hold  con- 
verse with  the  daughter  of  the  greatest  of 
all  senators,  and  at  the  same  time  to  injure 
her  rival. 

"  I  know  nothing  against  her,"  disclaimed 
the  youug  lady.  "  I  meant  no  more  than  I 
said." 

With  these  words  she  turned  away  from 
Mrs.  Vane  ;  and  the  latter,  though  not  over- 
bright,  felt  that  she  was  rebuked ;  indeed, 
she  put  it  to  herself  that  she  was  snubbed. 
Judging  also  that  she  had  made  an  unfavor- 
able impression  upon  Mrs.  Ironmau  aud  Belle 
Wardeu,  she  squared  her  shoulders  upon  all 
three  of  the  ladies,  chatted  a  minute  in  her 
loud  style  with  the  senator,  aud  then  bridled 
out  of  the  house. 

Just  at  this  moment  Edgar  Bradford  drop- 
ped in,  and  Ironmau  resumed  Lis  babble 
about  the  Appleyard  affair. 


CHAPTER  XXVI. 

VARIOUS  OriNIOXS  COXCERNIN'G  JOSIE. 

"Have  yon  heard  any  thing  about  it, 
Bradford  ?"  was  the  inquiry  of  the  millionaire 
senator.  "'  Come,  by  Jove,  tell  a  fellow  what 
the  exact  truth  is." 

Bradford,  who    still   considered  Josie   a 


90 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


friend  of  Lis,  and  couseqnently  did  not  like 
to  have  her  the  to\Yn  talk,  flushed  a  little, 
and  spoke  with  noticeable  excitement  as  he 
made  his  answer. 

"  I  haven't  inquired  into  it  all,  Mr.  Iron- 
man.  But  I  don't  believe  there  is  mucli  truth 
in  it.  The  writer  of  the  article,  as  I  hear 
from  Hollowbread,  is  Dave  Shorthand.  Now 
Shorthand  is  a  drunken,  malignant  liar.  I 
know  something  of  him,  for  he  was  with  us 
a  while  in  the  field.  He  was  a  correspond-r 
ent  of  the  Personal  Advertiser,  and  just  suit- 
ed to  his  rascally  journal.  He  would  forage 
around  every  head-quarters  after  whisky,  and 
get  back  to  his  tent  too  drunk  to  get  into  it.  I 
have  known  him  to  plunge  through  the  front- 
door, go  clean  out  through  the  rear-flap,  and 
sleep  outside  all  night.  Our  general  put  him 
under  guard  for  publishing  official  news,  and 
he  revenged  himself  by  maligning  our  corps 
in  his  scoundrelly  paper.  He  would  lurk 
ten  miles  from  a  battle-field,  under  protection 
of  the  brave  men  who  were  bleeding  and  dy- 
ing in  the  front,  and  write  letters  of  solid 
slanders  against  them.  Such  wholesale  lies, 
too ! — simple,  pure  inventions  of  Satan  ! — not 
even  a  foundation  of  truth.  At  the  Eed  Riv- 
er, where  we  fought  side  by  side  with  the 
Sixteenth  corps,  he  represented  that  we  were 
broken  through  by  the  enemy,  and  that  the 
Sixteenth  corps  had  to  march  over  us.  At 
the  Opequan,  where  we  lost  sixteen  hundred 
men  in  stubborn  fighting,  he  described  us  as 
lying  down  five  miles  from  the  battle-field, 
and  refusing  to  advance.  For  mean  and 
wicked  malice  I  never  heard  the  like  of  these 
stories.  To  malign  gallant  fellows  who  were 
at  that  very  moment  struggling  and  falling 
on  the  field  of  honor  seems  to  me  the  most 
devilish  and  contemptible  work  with  which 
a  man  could  foul  himself.  The  fellow  well 
deserved  to  be  horsewhipped  to  death." 

Even  the  dull  mind  and  shallow  emotion- 
al nature  of  Ironman  were  stirred  to  indig- 
nation by  this  statement. 

"  By  Jove,  I  agree  with  you !"  he  said.  "  I 
should  think  it  was  never  too  late  to  horse- 
whip such  a  fellow  as  that." 

"  Very  likely  this  story  about  Mrs.  Mur- 
ray is  equally  false,"  continued  Bradford. 

"Well,  perhaps  so,"  conceded  the  senator, 
looking  a  little  disappointed.  "I'll — I  tell 
you  what  I'll  do ;  I'll  inquire  into  it  myself," 
he  added,  rising. 

"Do  oblige  me  by  letting  it  alone,"  inter- 
posed Mrs.  Ironman,  with  such  firmness  that 
the  great  man  sat  down  again. 

Shortly  after  this  Belle  Warden  took  her 
departure,  and  presently  Miss  Ledyard  fol- 
lowed. 

"  They  did  not  speak  up  for  ISIrs.  Murray  ; 
they  don't  like  her,"  observed  the  senator, 
with  unusual  keenness ;  to  which  remark 
his  wife  and  Bradford  vouchsafed  no  reply, 
and  tlio  talk  about  the  Appleyard  business 
ended  there. 


Ho  was  quite  correct  in  his  inference.  Al- 
though Belle  knew  Josie  familiarly,  while 
Elinor  Ledyard  had  oiily  heard  of  her,  they 
agreed  in  not  approving  of  her.  Women 
in  general,  whether  nice  women  or  naughty 
ones,  were  apt  to  dislike  our  heroine  sooner 
or  later.  It  is  one  of  the  most  serious  dis- 
advantages of  clever  ladies  of  her  style  of 
/Cleverness,  that  they  get  the  ill-opinion  and 
ill-will  of  their  own  sex.  Still  a  new-comer 
in  Washington,  Josie  had  won  the  repute 
of  being  an  "awful  flirt,"  a  flirt  who  carried 
coquetry  to  the  verge  of  the  inexcusable, 
and  who  respected  no  other  woman's  rights. 

We  know  already  how  she  was  hated  by 
Squire  Nancy  Apjileyard,  and  wherefore. 
Various  other  young  women  likewise  dis- 
liked her  because  she  had  more  or  less 
eclipsed  and  supplanted  them.  Mrs.  John 
Vane  abominated  her  as  a  rival  queen  of 
society,  and  Jessie  Cohen  wished  her  harm 
as  a  rival  suitor  for  appropriations.  Elinor 
Ledyard,  who  knew  her  only  by  sight  and 
by  hearsay,  disapproved  of  her  as  a  coquette 
and  an  intriguer,  and  did  not  wish  to  know 
her  more  familiarly. 

Generally  speaking,  only  the  men  liked 
her,  and  the  ruder,  wilder  sort  of  men  at 
that.  To  the  men,  therefore  —  that  is,  to 
Josie's  natural  companions  and  intimates — 
our  story  must  return.  They  courted  a  good 
deal  in  those  days,  but  not,  as  yet,  with  mat- 
rimonial intentions,  barring  the  zealous  Hol- 
lowbread, 

Mr.  Drummond,  for  instance,  kept  apart 
from  her  society  for  quite  a  time  after  the 
Appleyard  rencontre.  It  seemed  to  him  that 
Mrs.  Murray  beguiled  him  into  more  disa^i- 
pointments  and  scrapes  than  her  mere  so- 
ciety was  worth.  She  had  a  smile  which 
sowed  wild  hopes ;  her  whole  manner  was 
full  of  j)romises  of  rich  rewards;  yet  noth- 
ing happened  to  his  advantage  or  pleasure. 
In  the  financial  dialect  of  her  other  hard- 
used  and  ill-requited  friend,  Mr.  Fred.  Curb- 
stone, she  did  not  redeem  her  notes.  More- 
over, Drummond  suspected  that  she  was 
quite  capable  of  laughing  at  him  for  his  ab- 
surd misadventure  in  the  avenue. 

To  be  sure,  he  took  care  of  his  own  fame 
in  that  matter,  and  so  necessarily  did  her  a 
service.  Looking  up  Dave  Shorthand,  he 
bullied  him,  collared  him,  shook  his  teeth 
nearly  out  of  his  head,  and  eventually  gave 
him  a  contemptuous  ten-dollar  bill,  thereby 
inducing  him  to  sign  and  publish  a  complete 
retraction  of  his  Appleyard  history,  to  the 
eff'ect  tbat  the  alleged  single  combat  was 
merely  the  invention  of  a  hard-driven  re- 
porter. The  editorial  department  added 
that  this  reporter  had  been  discharged,  a 
statement  which  Sliortliand  himself  sug- 
gested to  the  manager,  receiving  tlierefor  a 
slight  gratuity  and  increased  confidence. 

But,  although  Drunnnond  thus  served  Mrs. 
Murray,  none  the  less  did  he  avoid  her  for  a 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


91 


time.  Of  conrso  this  did  not  suit  her,  for 
while  she  did  not  like  him  personally,  and 
was  determined  not  to  walk  the  street  again 
with  him  for  a  season,  she  wanted  his  good- 
will and  his  Congressional  iiilliieuce.  So, 
when  the^'  at  last  met  at  a  reception,  she 
said  to  him,  in  a  tone  of  plaintive  reproach, 

"How  long  it  is  since  you  have  called  on 
me !" 

"Ifc  must  bo  a  week  —  haw,  haw!''  he 
laughed. 

"  That  seems  a  long  time,"  she  murmured, 
lifting  her  eyes  pathetically,  as  if  such  ab- 
sences were  difhcult  to  bear. 

''  Business  before  pleasure,"  answered 
Drnmraond,  who  suspected  that  she  was  se- 
cretly making  game  of  him,  and  felt  little 
less  than  A-iudictive. 

"My  society  can  hardly  be  a  pleasure 
when  it  gets  people  into  trouble,"  was  the 
nest  utterance  of  Josie's  humility. 

"Oh,  that  doesn't  matter — that  affair  in 
the  avenue,"  ho  declared,  promptly.  It  had 
mattered  a  good  deal,  though ;  it  had  made 
a  raw  on  his  thick-skinned  soul.  But  he  did 
not  like  to  have  it  supposed  that  any  thing 
could  get  the  better  of  him  or  make  him 
wince.  "  It  was  a  mere  trifling  fiirce,  aud 
will  soon  be  forgotten." 

Josie  was  indignant  at  Ms  coarseness  and 
seltishness.  He  did  not  allude  to  the  fact 
that  she,  too,  had  suffered,  and  for  his  mis- 
demeanor ;  he  was  certaiiily  the  most  un- 
mannerly and  egotistic  man  that  a  lady  was 
ever  civil  to. 

But  she  showed  no  vexation,  for  she  was 
an  enviably  even-tempered  little  witch,  and 
always  preferred  to  propitiate  unpleasant 
people,  especially  when  there  was  nothing 
to  be  got  by  fighting  them. 

"  I  was  not  thinking  so  much  of  that," 
she  said ;  "  I  didn't  mind  it  myself  when  I 
saw  that  you  didn't  mind  it.  I  was  think- 
ing more  of  the  fact  that  I  have  troubled 
you  to  look  into  my  business  without  pla- 
cing it  in  your  hands.  It  will  all  be  righted 
aud  explained  some  day.  You  have  been 
very  good  and  very  patient.  I  don't  know 
how  I  can  thank  you  sufficiently."  ' 

Howcouldevenasulky,sore-headedDrnm- 
mond  resist  such  persistent  sweetness  ?  He 
looked  at  her  lovely  face,  aud  he  felt  that 
he  must  get  away  from  her  at  once,  or  he 
should  not  be  able  to  keep  out  of  her  snares. 

"If  Hollowbread  breaks  down,  and  you 
need  other  help  in  that  job,  don't  fail  to  call 
ou  me,"  he  muttered,  making  a  movement 
to  go. 

"  You  must  see  me  now  and  then,"  an- 
swered Josie,  as  he  turned  away.  "  Don't 
forget  that  you  are  my  member." 

Meanwhile  she  was  a  good  deal  annoyed 
by  his  leaving  her,  and  could  hardly  help 
pouting  with  humiliation  and  disappoint- 
ment. To  lose  even  one  man  Avas  always  a 
grief  to  Josie,  whatever  shoals  of  other  men 


she  might  be  fishing  among  at  the  time, 
and  however  successful  her  angling  might 
be.  In  these  very  days  dozens  of  Con- 
gressmen and  department  people  had  their 
noses  to  her  hook. 

Notwithstanding  the  retraction  of  the 
Xewsmongcr,  the  avenue  scandal  was  pretty 
generally  accejited  as  true  by  the  knowing 
ones,  and  it  made  her  a  more  attractive  no- 
toriety than  ever.  Every  day  some  fresh 
man  about  town  got  himself  introduced  to 
her,  and  joined  the  pack  of  her  more  or  less 
unlikely  admirers. 

These  gallants  did  not  find  her  what  they 
had  expected.  "What  they  had  looked  for 
and  wanted  was  a  wild  hoiden,  ready  to  be 
pleased  with  any  rough-and-ready  attention, 
and  i)rompt  to  rush  into  any  risky  adven- 
ture. What  they  found  was  a  woman  of 
society,  coquettish,  but  evidently  able  to 
take  care  of  herself,  aud  talkative,  but 
alarmingly  clever.  It  was  impossible  to 
despise  her,  except  from  a  delicately  fastid- 
ious point  of  view,  a  point  to  whicli  these 
gentlemen  had  not  attained.  Indeed,  they 
were  Irresistibly  driven  to  respect  and  ad- 
mire her,  such  of  them  as  had  brains  enough 
to  appreciate  her  abilities. 

"Au't  she  a  stunner!"  chuckled  a  certain 
honorable  heavy-weight,  Senator  Pickens 
Eigdon,  addressing  himself  to  the  Honora- 
ble R.  L.  Bower,  a  representative  from  his 
own  State.  "  By  George  !  I  don't  understand 
how  a  woman  can  be  as  bright  as  that  in 
all  the  bloom  of  youth  aud  loveliness.  One 
expects  it,  perhaps,  in  an  old  girl  like  Dow- 
ager Irouman  or  Duenna  Warden !  But  at 
sweet  two-and-twenty,  without  a  farrow  on 
her  brow  or  a  blemish  on  her  cheeks,  it  is 
simply  and  beautifully  miraculous.  I'll  be 
blasted  to  everlasting  blastation  if  she  isn't 
a  blasted  sight  smarter  than  half  our  Con- 
gressmen— yes,  blast  it,  two-thirds  of  them !" 

In  justice  to  the  strength  of  Mr.  Rigdou's 
style,  it  must  be  stated  that  he  used  epithets 
far  more  vigorous  than  "  blasted  " — -such  ep- 
ithets as  Northern  gentlemen  of  his  social 
position  rarely  handle  in  these  degenerate 
days. 

He  was  a  superbly  tall  and  large  man, 
with  vast  shoulders,  mighty  chest,  and  no- 
ble limbs,  and  with  an  erect,  proud,  and  yet 
easy  carriage.  His  head  was  verj-  big;  his 
curling,  slightly  silvered  chestnut  hair  was 
long  and  abundant ;  his  spacious  cliops  were 
magnificeutly  chubby  aud  rosy ;  his  hazel 
eyes  were  at  once  fierce  and  merry.  In  his 
breath  there  was  a  strong  scent  of  whisky, 
tempered  with  tobacco. 

Mr.  R.  L.  Bower  was  a  man  of  very  differ- 
ent and  much  less  agreeable  appearance. 
Tall,  slender,  very  haggard  in  feature,  very 
swarthy  and  malarious  in  complexion,  he 
had  a  watchful,  saturnine  glance,  and  an  air 
of  suave  self-possession,  which  put  one  in 
mind  of  certain  professional  gamblers.     He 


92 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


likewise  smelled  very  mucli  like  a  bar  where 
liquors  have  beeu  spilled,  aud  where  cigar- 
stumps  have  beeu  laid  about.  But  his  re- 
freshments had  not  giveu  him  that  joviality 
which  twinkled  iu  the  florid  visage  of  Sen- 
ator Rigdon. 

"  Yes,  she  is  brighter  than  some  Congress- 
men," assented  Bower;  "  and  she  might  have 
more  influence  if  she  was  under  the  right 
management.  Heavens !  how  that  girl 
might  i)ull  wires  and  haul  in  appropria- 
tions !" 

"  It  would  be  a  desecration !"  growled  Rig- 
don. "Bower,  you  are  a  carpet-bagger  at 
heart,  you  know.  You  are  always  scheming 
how  to  iill  the  scandalous  carpet-bag.  I  dis- 
approve of  you,  and  forgive  you.  These  are 
evil  times.  The  great,  grand,  sublime  old 
Southern  gentleman  is  no  more.  We,  de- 
generate scions  of  a  noble  stock,  must  live 
and  let  live.  It  is  an  evil  age ;  I  hate  it  and 
bear  it.  I  am  iu  the  condition  of  an  Indian 
tied  to  the  torture-stake.  I  say  to  the  car- 
pet-baggers aud  lobbyists,  'Begin  ye  your 
torments,  your  threats  are  iu  vain  ;  for  the 
sons  of  Alkmoouah  will  never  complain.' 
But  as  for  using  this  loveh'^  widow,  fresh 
from  her  cra^ied  sorrows,  to  rob  the  public 
treasury,  it  is  a  desecration,  and  I  denounce 
it.  I  admire  and  respect  her  with  a  South- 
ern enthusiasm.  I  icill  do  it.  If  any  man 
tries  to  prevent  me,  I'll  knock  him  down, 
blast  him  !  There  she  goes  now ! — lovely 
Murray !  I  never  see  her  jjass  without  long- 
ing to  sing,  '  Thou,  thou  reignest  iu  this 
boo-oo-som.'  There,  she  has  entered  the 
supper-room,  leaning  and  smiling  on  Tur- 
veydrop  Hollo wbread.  Lovely  Murray,  fare 
thee  well !" 

Calhoun  Clavers,  who  was  passing  at  the 
momeut,  overheard  the  close  of  this  vinous 
oration.  We  must  call  to  mind  that  Clavers 
loved  Mrs.  Murray  with  all  the  passion  of 
youth  and  all  the  chivalry  of  a  long-staple 
region.  Well,  this  admirably  sentimental 
youngster,  hearing  his  goddess  apostro]ihized 
iu  a  loud,  free  manner  by  a  person  who 
smelled  of  whiskj^,  was  instantly  filled  with 
beautiful  indignation.  He  halted  aud  faced 
Mr.  Rigdon  with  such  a  stare  of  gentleman- 
ly ferocity  as  might  have  turned  a  common- 
place, j)eaceable  American  of  the  North  into 
stone. 

The  senator  could  not  help  noticing  the 
look,  and  being  roused  by  it ;  he  glared  back 
at  Clavers,  as  a  mature  grizzly  bear  might 
glare  at  a  juvenile  tiger.  It  was  a  gaze  of 
inquiry  and  amazement,  verging  on  wratb. 

Possibly  there  would  have  been  words,  a 
quarrel,  a  challenge,  and  a  duel,  but  for  the 
providential  arrival  of  the  great  banker,  Mr. 
Simeon  Allchin.  Clavers  lost  sight  of  Rig- 
don behind  the  vast  bulk  of  tlie  financier, 
and  decided  to  pursue  his  way  without  de- 
manding explanations  aud  apologies.  Brave, 
pugnacious,  sentimental,  adolescent,  typo  of 


ajcunesse  which  is  fast  iiassing  from  among 
us,  move  on,  aud  let  us  have  iieace  ! 

"  A  nice  little  investment  went  by  us  just 
now,  gentlemen,"  murmured  Allchin,  speak- 
ing with  a  rich,  mellow,  juicy  voice,  and  a 
radiantly  greasy  smile,  both  of  which  had 
been  very  useful  to  hira  in  banking.  '•  That 
little  Mrs.  Murray  would  be  well  worth  look- 
ing after." 

"  One  wife  answers  my  purpose,"  answer- 
ed the  senator,  slapping  the  banker's  tallowy 
shoulder  with  perfect  fi-eedom,  though  his 
account  was  overdrawn.  "  How  is  it  with 
yourself?" 

An  ugly  light  came  into  Mr.  Bower's  hol- 
low black  eyes,  and  for  a  moment  he  looked 
capable  of  knifing  Mr.  Rigdon.  There  was 
a  vile  charge  of  bigamy  lying  against  him 
in  court,  aud  consequently  he  was  sensitive 
to  jokes  about  having  more  wives  than  one. 

"  Oh,  I  don't  allude  to  courtships  aud 
flirtations  and  dalliances — ha,  ha!"  hastily 
chuckled  Mr.  Allchin,  taking  care  not  to 
glance  at  the  honorable  Bower,  and  smiling 
iu  pi,  way  which  was  equivalent  to  paying 
out  gold,  so  eager  was  he  to  make  things 
pleasant.  "  Bless  you,  senator — ha,  ha ! — at 
my  time  of  life,  and  with  my  development 
— ha,  ha!  But  this  little  Mrs.  Murray  is 
really  —  really  —  ha,  ha!"  Aud  here  his 
spacious  countenance  became  fiiirly  pucker- 
ed with  cheerful  cunning.  "  Really  she  is 
quite  an  investment — a  good  claim  for  one 
or  two  hundred  thousand ! — a  good,  sound, 
honest,  genteel,  lady-like  claim !  Why  not 
help  her  through  with  it"?  Any  advances 
that  might  be  necessary  I  coukl  furnish. 
Then,  you  see — I  am  a  little  selfish  in  the 
matter,  ha,  ha!  —  she  could  invest  through 
me — invest  to  her  profit  and  mine — a  nice 
little  thing  all  round, eh?  Just  consider  it 
in  confidence,  you  two  gentlemen.  We  will 
talk  it  over  some  other  time.  Drop  iu  to 
dinner  to-morrow.  A  plate  or  two  always 
ready  for  a  friend.     Goo(?-eveniug." 

And  Mr.  Allchin,  pretty  sure  that  honor- 
able gentlemen,  who  were  indebted  at  his 
bank,  would  not  rage  permanently  against 
him  for  suggesting  a  jirofitable  job,  smiled 
and  bowed  himself  away. 

"  Bower,  these  are  evil  days,"  grinned 
Senator  Rigdon.  "  Iu  these  days  a  Congress- 
man can  be  insulted  by  any  body  with  im- 
punity, and,  by  the  Lord!  with  justice.  But 
I  am  a  born  Southron,  and,  iu  a  small,  up- 
country  way,  fi  Southern  gentleman,  and  I 
don't  quite  like  it.  I  feel  that  the  insult 
is  just,  but  also  that  it  is  grievous.  I  de- 
cline the  job  Avhich  this  moue3--chauger  pro- 
posed ;  but  it  may  do  for  a  born  Yankee  aud 
carpet-bagger  like  yourself,  Bower.  And  the 
young  woman  is  pretty ;  moreover,  handsome 
is  that  handsome  pays.  Put  her  iu  your  car- 
pet-bag, and  go  along  with  her." 

"Mr. Rigdon,"  broke  out  Bower, his  black 
eyes  flashing  again,  "you  recur  a  little  too 


PLAYING  THE  mSCIIIEF. 


93 


frequently  to  my  Yankccisui  htkI  carpct- 
baggism.  If  ■wo  wcro  liviug  iu  tho  old 
times — " 

"  Yes,  Bower,  if  wo  wcro  living  in  tho  old 
times,  ■wo  -would  figlit.  I  sbouklu't  bo  able 
to  bear  you.  And  j'ou  wouldn't  be  able  to 
bear  me.  But  misery  makes  strange  bed- 
fellows. Hero  wo  aro  iu  Congress,  which 
•^■ouldu't  have  happened  in  tlio  old  times, 
and  we  mustn't  fight,  for  fear  of  being  laugh- 
ed off  tho  political  stage.  Tho  world  is 
more  moral  than  it  used  to  bo.  Bower ;  the 
devil  has  introduced  a  new  kind  of  morality. 
God  bless  ns!  what  is  tho  nation  coming  to, 
when  a  couple  of  poor  shoats  can't  kill  each 
other,  and  thus  do  their  best  toward  ren- 
dering humanity  a  service?  Ah,  there  is 
the  lovely  Murray  again !  This  time  it  is 
the  beautiful  Beauman  who  is  inhaling  her 
sweetness.  And  tho  talented  Bray  walks 
close  behind,  waiting  for  his  chance  to  adore 
and  be  adored.  And  all  around  I  behold 
Congressmen  smiling  and  prostrating  them- 
selves. Sho  will  have  small  trouble  in  put- 
ting her  claim  through,  and  sho  will  jilt  a 
baker's  dozen  before  the  season  is  over." 

Well,  we  have  told  enough  of  this  sort  of 
thing,  perhaps,  to  give  a  vague  idea  of  the 
impression  which  Josie  made  in  Washing- 
ton society,  and  of  her  chances  of  success  in 
pushing  her  suit. 


CHAPTER  XXVII. 

THE    MAN    SHE    LOVES. 

Ix  short,  Josio  Murray  made  a  great  and 
increasing  sensation  iu  Washington,  and 
while  sho  was  mucli  envied  and  hated  and 
criticised,  she  was  also  much  admired  and 
joetted. 

The  Appleyard  fight  did  her  little  damage, 
partly  because  the  tale  of  it  was  so  prompt- 
ly retracted  by  the  Xeicsmongcr,  and  partly 
because  small  scandals  can  not  much  hurt 
women  of  her  peculiar  celebrity.  To  be 
sure,  it  lost  her  tho  attentions  of  Sykes 
Drummond  for  a  period ;  but  on  tho  other 
hand  it  brought  back  to  her  tho  attentions 
of  Edgar  Bradford. 

She  was  exceedingly  glad  to  see  him, 
when  ho  at  last  called  with  the  intention 
of  finding  her  at  home,  and  so  did  find  her. 
His  staying-away  had  vexed  her  not  a  little, 
but  it  had  humiliated  and  pained  her  still 
more.  We  must  bo  allowed  to  say  that  it 
was  rather  a  fine  thing  in  Josie,  this  persist- 
ence in  liking  one  old  friend  better  than  all 
her  many  new  admirers — in  liking  him,  too, 
notwithstanding  that  he  thwarted  her  wish- 
es and  neglected  her  society.  Sentiment  is 
so  much  nobler  than  pure  egotism,  and  fidel- 
ity so  much  lovelier  than  heartless  forget- 
fulness,  that  wo  must  accord  them  some 
praise  even  Avhen  they  present  themselves 


in  manikin  proportions.  All  this  time,  while 
Hollowbroad  was  her  humble  adorer  and 
faithful  advocate,  and  while  nobody  knows 
how  many  other  men  were  panting  to  take 
tho  place  of  HoUowbread,  sho  would  have 
been  delighted  to  have  her  old  intimate 
back  by  her  side,  though  at  tho  cost  of  los- 
ing many  llattering  attentions,  and  at  some 
risk  of  failing  in  her  claim. 

Sho  had  always  liked  him;  she  thought, 
at  least,  that  she  had  liked  him  better  than 
any  other  man  she  ever  knew ;  yes,  perhaps 
better,  perhaps  a  good  deal  better,  than  poor 
Augustus.  If  this  was  not  strictly  true,  it 
at  all  events  appeared  to  bo  true,  now  that 
she  had  found  him  iu  a  lofty  position,  and 
now  that  his  nature  had  risen  upftn  her  iu  a 
new  and  nobler  light.  For  it  must  be  stated 
to  her  credit  that  his  very  scruples  with  re- 
gard to  her  suit  had  impressed  her  iu  his  fa- 
vor; possibly  because  sho  knew  that  such 
scruples  are  generally  admired  among  men, 
and  possibly  because  they  made  him  a  more 
difficult  conquest. 

At  times  she  thought  about  him  by  the 
half- hour  together,  and  iu  a  way  which 
would  have  been  flattering  to  his  vanity, 
had  he  known  of  it.  Her  general  feeling 
was  this,  that  sho  would  like  to  win  him, 
and  then  make  him  push  the  claim,  or,  if 
that  could  not  be,  j)ush  it  herself  without 
his  knowledge,  and  yet  keep  him.  Keep 
him  how?  Well,  keep  him  as  a  husband; 
sho  loved  him  well  enough  for  that ;  at  least 
she  very  easily  could  love  him  well  enough. 
Such  being  her  state  of  feeling  as  to  her  for- 
mer beau,  it  is  quite  natural  that  his  visit 
should  make  her  heart  beat  joyfully. 

As  for  the  young  man,  why  did  he  call  ? 
Well,  he  had  said  to  himself  (and  how  should 
ho  attempt  to  deceiv^e  that  respectable  and 
sagacious  personage?)  that  it  was  because 
of  the  Xewsmongcr  scandal;  because  that 
rascally  piece  of  American  humor  would 
hurt  Josie's  standing  iu  society,  and  he  ought 
to  give  her  his  countenance ;  because  it 
would  mortify  and  iiain  her,  and  he  ought 
to  console  hei*. 

Was  he  not  her  old  friend  and  admirer, 
and  under  specially  tender  obligations  to 
her,  such  as  no  man  should  forget  ?  A  gen- 
tleman who  could  win  from  a  lady  confes- 
sions of  peculiar  good-will,  only  to  avoid  her 
as  soon  as  sho  demanded  a  service  and  need- 
ed protection,  seemed  to  him  a  very  shabby 
gentleman  indeed.  What  a  delicately  hon- 
orable fellow  he  was,  to  be  sure !  And  yet 
what  a  queer  sense  of  honor  it  appears,  on 
thoughtful  inspection ! 

There  were  as  many  incongruities  in  it  as 
there  are  in  tho  British  Constitution,  and, 
like  that  instrnment,  it  worked  surprisingly 
well  and  surprisingly  ill,  yet,  on  the  whole, 
not  iusufferabli".  The  one  great  point  iu  his 
.favor  was,  that,  as  a  public  man,  he  was  un- 
selfish and  thoroughly  honest.     Had  it  not 


94 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


been  for  this,  wo  slionld  uot  have  selected 
Liin  for  serious  study,  nor  allowed  him  to 
take  upon  himself  some  show  of  being  a  hero. 

Upright  aud  wise  as  he  was  in  certain 
matters,  he  could  be  a  deceiver  in  others, 
though  so  far  unconsciously  as  to  deceive 
himself.  The  reasons  which  he  assigned 
for  calliug  ujjou  Josie  Murray  were  not  the 
true  reasons  which  moved  him  to  that  step, 
or,  rather,  were  uot  the  ouly  ones.  She  was 
very  fascinating  to  his  imagination,  and 
very  attractive  to  his  eyesight.  That  main- 
ly was  why  he  now  came  to  see  her,  aud  why 
he  always  found  her  company  agreeable. 

"Ah!  you  have  come  at  last!  naughty  old 
friend !  false  old  friend  !"  said  Josie,  flushed 
and  beautiful  with  pleasure,  as  she  rustled 
up  to  him  aud  seized  his  hand. 

"  I  have  been  very  shabby,"  he  confessed, 
for  there  was  no  resisting  her  forgiveness, 
her  good-nature,  aud  her  satisfaction  at  see- 
ing him,  not  to  mention  her  prettiness  aud 
grace. 

"  Do  you  know,  I  wish  you  were  my  father 
or  my  uncle !  I  should  like  to  lay  my  head 
on  some  related  shoulder.  I  have  been  so 
lonely !"  sighed  Josie. 

She  was  so  much  the  more  enticing  aud 
perilous  because  she  was  not  a  mere  coun- 
terfeiter of  feelings,  but  really  had  strong 
and  almost  fervent  impulses,  evanescent 
though  they  might  be.  Moreover,  these 
impulses  were  poured  forth  so  briskly  aud 
fluently  and  graciously,  that  they  flew  at 
once  to  tlie  nerves  of  him  who  tasted  of 
them.  She  was  like  Champagne,  which, 
because  of  its  sweetness  aud  its  gaseous 
titillation,  is  intoxicating  out  of  all  pro- 
I)ortiou  to  its  alcohol.  Bradford  felt  the 
sugar  and  the  carbonic-acid  gas  tingling 
along  his  veins  and  rising  to  his  brain. 
He  had  a  longing  to  put  his  arm  around  her 
lonely  head  and  lay  it  on  his  shoulder,  there 
to  repose  forever. 

"  If  I  had  known  that  you  were  in  low 
spirits,  I  should  have  been  here  before,"  he 
declaimed.  "I  ought  to  have  come.  You 
have  a  right  to  be  vexed  with  mc." 

"  I  have  not  been  vexed  ;  only  disappoint- 
ed," said  Josie.  "  I  know  that  you  must 
be,  or  ought  to  be,  busy.  Many  people  tell 
me  what  a  fine  stand  you  have  taken  in 
Congress,  and  that  you  are  the  most  promis- 
ing of  the  new  members.  I  am  proud  of 
you,  aud  want  you  to  go  on  workiug — to  go 
on  and  be  a  great  man — a  Cliarles  Sumner. 
I  shall  be  ovortempted  to  tell  a  fib  about 
you  some  day  ;  I  shall  say  I  helped  form 
your  character.  It  won't  be  true — perhaps 
— will  it  ?  But  it  will  be  my  only  reward 
for  wishing  you  well.  You  are  determined 
not  to  reward  me  in  any  other  way.  It  is 
too  much  to  expect  you  to  talk  to  mo  about 
your  hopes  and  labors  and  measures.  But 
you  won't  even  come  now  aud  then  to  talk 
to  me  about  trifles.    It  is  rather  hard." 


Bradford  could  not  resist  the  temptation 
of  a  fascinating  imprudence.  How  sweet  she 
had  been  once,  and  how  sweeter  than  ever 
slie  was,  and  how  her  sweetness  was  mani- 
folded by  her  cleverness  !  It  seemed  to  him, 
the  much-complimented  man,  that  she  talk- 
ed amazingly  well.  Flatteries  from  such  an 
able  head  were  Avortli  more  than  good-will 
from  a  far  better  heart.  Under  all  this  stim- 
ulus, from  the  past  and  the  xn'eseut,  he  took 
her  hand  in  his  and  held  it. 

"  You  may  boast  of  forming  me  as  much  as 
you  like,  if  ever  the  result  should  be  worth 
praise,"  he  said.  "  I  shall  owe  you  some- 
thing ;  I  admit  that." 

"  What  ?"  murmured  Josie,  her  voice 
choking  a  very  little,  and  her  face  flushing 
with  pride  and  pleasure. 

"  I  have  worked  the  harder  to  win  your 
admiration.  I  have  felt  it  worth  while  to 
get  the  notice  of  such  a  mind  as  yours." 

"  My  mind!"  returned  Josie,  too  clever,  aud 
just  theu  too  full  of  feeling,  not  to  be  disap- 
pointed. Her  heart,  she  femininely  believed, 
was  the  strongest  iiart  of  her,  aud  it  was 
that  which  she  wanted  him  to  aim  at. 
When  a  lady  is  hoping  for  a  declaration  of 
love,  how  can  she  want  to  be  comiilimented 
on  her  intellect  ? 

Bradford,  whose  temperament  was  poetic, 
and  whose  brain,  therefore,  was  sensitively 
receptive  to  impressions, felt  at  once  that  his 
utterance  liad  given  pain.  He  \yanted  to 
add  somethiug  more  kindly ;  but  words  at 
such  a  mome]it  were  perilous ;  perhaps  a 
gesture  would  say  enough,  and  yet  not  com- 
mit him.  Keflecting  thus,  and  moved  also 
by  a  vigorous  carnal  hunger,  he  lifted  her 
hand  quickly  and  kissed  it.  It  was  a  deed 
which  he  had  done  repeatedly  before  without 
finding  that  any  thing  serious  came  of  it. 

"Ah,  Mr.  Bradford,"  said  Josie,  drawing 
away  from  him.  "  I  sujipose  it  means  noth- 
ing but  friendship,  aud  yet  you  shouldn't  do 
it.  When  you  speak  English,  I  can  under- 
stand you.  But  when  you  kiss  my  hand,  I 
don't  know  where  we  are." 

How  easily  he  could  have  come  to  an  un- 
derstanding for  life  with  her  at  that  mo- 
ment !  And  yet  he  had  not  been  in  the  room 
five  minutes,  and  had  scarcely  laid  eyes  on 
her  before  for  a  fortnight.  It  was  always 
thus  between  them  ;  alone  with  her,  ho  could 
uot  possibly  keep  at  long-range  action  ;  ho 
was  ever  at  close  quarters,  and  that  prompt- 
ly. But  many  otlier  men,  we  ought  to  state, 
in  fairness  to  Iiim,  felt  this  same  attraction 
in  Josie  Murr.iy,  and  easily  drifted  alongside 
for  a  yard-arm  contest. 

"  Can't  you  boar  it  from  a  vcrj"  old  and 
sincere  friend?"  ho  asked,  and  with  some 
consciousness  of  hypocrisy,  for  ho  was  uot  so 
very  sincere. 

"  But  you  are  always  calling  on  mc  to  bear 
it,  Mr.  Bradford.  Have  I  got  to  buy  your 
friendship  aU  my  life  in  this  way  ?" 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


9E 


''  I  wish  you  Tvonltl." 

Josio  burst  out  laiifihinf!^.  She  was  quick 
at  catcliiug  a  joke,  aud  easily  amused  by  one. 
It  was  one  of  tbc  nicest  traits  about  her,  this 
read^'  perception  of  humor  or  wit,  and  this 
jolly  respousiveuess  to  it.  Moreover,  her 
laugh  was  so  musical  and  natural  and  infec- 
tions, it  was  so  prettily  fnrnishcd  out  with 
coral  lips  and  pearlj'  teeth,  that  it  became 
her  wonderfnlly,  and  was  very  bewitching. 
Well,  she  langhed  aloud,  with  a  charming 
air  of  completely  forgetting  herself;  aud,  in 
so  doing,  she  blew  away  all  the  embarrass- 
ment which  had  arisen  between  them. 

"  Can  I  be  of  any  service  to  you  ?"  he  ask- 
ed, referring  to  the  Applej-ard  slander,  aud 
the  supposed  need  of  helping  her  bear  it. 

"I — don't — know,"  she  hesitated,  suppos- 
ing that  he  alluded  to  her  claim,  aud  won- 
dering that  he  should  offer  help. 

"I  have  seeu  you — hinted  at  in  the  pa- 
pers," he  added,  nearly  blnshing  for  her. 

It  was,  indeed,  a  very  disagreeable  thing 
to  his  mind  that  she  should  be  babbled  about 
in  connection  with  such  people  as  Drummoud 
and  Squire  Xancy. 

"  Oh — that  ?  Wasn't  it  shamefnl !"  return- 
ed Josie,  rather  too  carelessly  to  please  him. 
Of  a  sudden,  too,  she  laughed  outright,  as 
merrily  as  could  be. 

"  So  you  don't  mind  it  ?"  asked  Bradford, 
gravely. 

"  I  can't  mind  it  much.  The  whole  thing 
was  too  farcical  to  weigh  on  me.  Of  course 
I  ought  to  mind  it,  aud  take  on  dreadfully. 
It  is  always  supposed  to  be  bad  for  a  lady 
to  get  talked  about,  whether  she  is  to  blame 
for  it  or  not.  But  I  was  no  more  to  blame 
than  the  lamp-post  on  the  corner.  I  didn't 
even  see  the  show.  I  had  but  just  spoken 
to  Mr.  Drnmmond,  when  bang!  came  that 
Bloomer  creature,  aud  I  jumped  into  a  shop. 
That  is  all  I  know  about  it,"  continued  Josie, 
remembering  to  forgot  her  flirtation  with 
Drummoud  and  her  parlor-battle  with  Scxuire 
Appleyard. 

"It  was  an  abominable  artiole,"  declared 
Bradford.  "  I  heard  a  foreign  attache  men- 
tion it  as  an  instance  of  the  degradation  of 
manners  characteristic  of  a  democratic  soci- 
ety. However,  the  Xewsmonger  has  retract- 
ed it  and  apologized  for  it." 

"  So  I  have  heard,"  said  Josie,  who  had 
read  every  thing,  both  the  scandal  and  the 
disavowal.  "Do  you  think  the  aflair  is  of 
much  consequence  ?" 

"It  will  wear  off.  But  I  fear  that  you 
might  be  annoyed  by  it,  and  I  called  partly 
to  ask  if  you  wished  me  to  do  any  thing." 

"  Thank  you  !  That  is  being  a  very  good 
old  friend,  indeed.  But  I  do  not  want  you 
to  do  any  thing.  I  do  not  want  to  work  you 
at  all,  neither  in  this  affair  nor  in  others. 
You  shall  have  all  an  old  friend's  privileges. 
Other  people  shall  run  on  my  errands,  and 
you  shall  get  the  thanks." 


"It's  a  nice  easy  berth,  isn't  it  ?  It  puts 
me  in  mind  of  some  arrangements  in  the  po- 
litical world.  I  wonder  how  the  other  jieo- 
ple  will  like  it?" 

"  I  wonder  how  you  will  like  it  ?" 

"  Oh,  I  like  it;  all  but  the  meanness  and 
selfishness  of  the  position — that  I  am  heart- 
ily ashamed  of.  The  fact  is,  that  you  have 
always  kept  me  under  obligations  to  you." 

They  both  fell  silent  for  a  space.  Each 
was  thinking  of  the  by-gone  love-passages 
between  them ;  the  lady  querying  whether 
they  would  be  renewed,  and  the  man  wheth- 
er ho  should  renew  them. 

With  one  feature  of  this  interview — the 
fact  that  Josie  had  said  nothing  about  her 
shabby  claim — Bradford  felt  much  pleased. 
Ho  trusted  that  she  had  given  it  up;  then, 
judging  that  such  a  resignation  must  have 
seemed  a  sacrifice  to  her,  he  decided  that  she 
merited  his  respect  for  it ;  and  that  being 
the  case,  he,  as  a  just  soul,  whose  business  it 
was  to  countenance  the  respectable,  wanted 
to  reward  her  uprightness. 

Well,  she  should  have  courtship ;  for  he 
Itelieved  that  she  would  certainly  like  that ; 
he  knew^  her  so  well !  But  how  much  court- 
ship ?  He  actually  began  to  think  serious- 
ly of  letting  himself  slide  into  a  proposal  of 
marriage. 

Of  course  that  would  stop  forever  the 
prosecution  of  the  claim ;  of  course,  if  she 
became  his  wife,he,  the  model  of  honest  leg- 
islators, could  not  indulge  her  in  a  disrepu- 
table swindle  ;  even  if  the  bill  were  passed, 
he  could  not  let  her  take  the  money.  Would 
she  be  submissive  to  him  in  this  little  mat- 
ter ?  Oh,  undoubtedly !  he  decided ;  wives 
always  bowed  to  their  husbauds  in  great  af- 
fairs. 

It  is  true  that  Josie  had  not  always  obey- 
ed poor  Augustus  to  his  face,  and  that  she 
had  occasionally  done  things  behind  his  back 
which  he  would  have  disapproved  of  angri- 
ly. But,  then,  poor  Augustus  was  a  sort  of 
fool,  and  this  very  clever  little  beauty  could 
not  help  seeing  it.  In  the  hands  of  a  hus- 
band of  reputation  and  character  and  abili- 
ty she  would  be  as  i^lastic  as  butter.  So  a 
man  flatters  himself,  ami  meanwhile  woman 
supposes  that  it  is  she  who  has  the  superior 
judgment  and  distinction,  concluding  there- 
from that  it  will  be  masculine  duty  and  pleas- 
ure to  exhibit  ductility. 

In  spite  of  all  these  thoughts  aud  emo- 
tions, the  silence  came  to  nothing.  Bradford 
showed  his  sense  of  obligation  no  further 
than  by  acknowledging  it.  It  is  an  easy 
waj-  to  meet  a  debt  of  gratitude,  and  often 
it  is  a  curiously  satisfactory  one,  not  only  to 
the  indebted  person,  but  also  to  the  creditor. 
Josie  would  have  been  well  pleased  to  have 
him  thank  her  by  telling  her  that  he  loved 
her  dearly,  and  wanted  her  to  be  his  wife. 

Had  ho  done  so,  she  wonld  have  throbbed 
with  great  happiness ;  she  would  have  bro- 


96 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


keu  her  lioart  on  his  Losom  and  poured  it 
out  in  inilsations  of  gratitude ;  she  -^ould 
have  giveu  Mm,  or,  rather,  believed  that  she 
had  given  him,  an  immense  affection  and  an 
uushaliable  troth. 

He  did  uothiug  of  the  sort ;  and  yet  she 
was  not  in  the  least  angry,  nor  disposed  to 
call  him  hard -hearted  and  selfish;  on  the 
contrary,  she  felt  only  the  more  humble  and 
subservient  because  he  accejited  so  much  and 
gave  so  little. 

"  If  you  want  to  repay  me  for  my  friend- 
ship, you  must  do  two  things,"  she  said  at 
last,  with  a  faint  sigh — a  really  piteous  sigh, 
though  it  was  scarcely  audible.  "  You  must 
be  distinguished,  so  that  I  can  boast  of  you  ; 
and  you  must  not  neglect  me  so  completely 
and  unkindly.  I  suppose  that  I  know — at 
least  I  hope  that  I  know  —  why  you  have 
staid  away.  You  were  afraid  that  I  would 
ask  you  to  push  my  claim.  Well,  I  have 
not  asked  you  to  do  that,  and  I  never  shall.'' 

She  stopped,  being  really  quite  worried 
with  the  thought  that  he  would  not  help 
her,  and  also  out  of  breath  because  of  other 
more  womanly  and  tenderer  emotions. 

"  I  wish  with  all  my  heart  that  I  could 
assist  you  in  that  affair,"  aftirmed  Bradford. 
"  But  I  told  you  why  I  nuist  not.  Mr.  Hol- 
lowbread  has  it  in  hand,  I  believe  ?" 

'•  Mv.  Hollowbread  is  looking  into  it  to 
see  whether  it  ought  to  be  jjresented,"  said 
Josie,  telling  her  best -loved  man  a  down- 
right fib,  and  ready  to  cry  over  it.  "If  it  is 
a  wrong  claim,  there  it  euds.  If  it  is  a  right 
one,  why  shouldn't  I  urge  it  ?  There  was 
one  payment ;  I  know  that  well  enough ; 
but  it  was  a  very  little  one.  Mr.  Hollow- 
bread  thinks  he  can  get  proof  that  the  prop- 
erty was  worth  a  great  deal  more  than  one 
thousand  dollars.  If  he  can,  then  the  Gov- 
ernment really  owes  me  something,  and  why 
shouldn't  it  pay  me  ?  I  tell  you  this  merely 
to  be  frank  with  you  and  to  justify  myself 
in  your  eyes.  I  don't  ask  you  to  help  me. 
I  know  that  you  are  sensitive  and  honora- 
ble, and  I  want  you  to  remain  so.  But  I 
want  you  to  respect  me  also,  and  not  look 
upon  me  as  a  sharp  adventuress." 

"  My  dear  friend — I  do  respect  you — .and 
you  must  forgive  me,"  stammered  Bradford. 

Josie  broke  down  here ;  she  could  not 
help  crying ;  only  a  couple  of  tears,  to  be 
sure ;  but  they  were  very  melting. 


CHAPTER  XXVIII. 

THE   M.VN  WHO  LOAVES  HER. 

Bradford  was  considerably  moved  by 
Josie's  brace  of  tears,  as  men  of  poetic  imag- 
ination and  warm  temperament  usually  are 
moved  by  feminine  grief,  especially  whcu  the 
afflicted  one  is  fair  to  look  upon. 


"  My  dear  child !"  he  said ;  and  so  far  all 
went  promisingly  for  her. 

It  was  a  phrase  which  he  had  never  ac- 
corded to  a  woman  Avhora  he  did  not  like 
very,  very  much,  though,  by-the-way,  he  had 
thus  liked  several — say  three  or  four,  or  per- 
haps a  dozen. 

But  even  while  he  was  talking  and  pal- 
pitating, a  thought  of  tlie  risks  of  marriage 
with  such  a  flirt  gave  him  a  spasm  of  pru- 
dence, and  he  slackened  his  emotional  speed 
rapidly. 

"  I  will  try  to  be  such  a  friend  to  you  as 
you  deserve,"  he  added,  before  the  momen- 
tum had  greatly  diminished.  "  I  will  look 
into  the  claim  again,  if  you  wish  it,"  he 
continued,  changing  his  subject  with  truly 
hateful  sagacity.  "If  I  can  find  any  solid 
grounds  for  it,  I  will  sujiport  it  with  all  my 
strength,"  was  the  jieroration  of  this  disap- 
pointing speech. 

"No,  you  shall  Tzof.'"  exclaimed  Josie,  has- 
tily, and  with  a  good  deal  of  feeling. 

She  was  discontented  and  hurt,  for  she 
had  been  aiming  at  his  heart  instead  of  the 
United  States  Treasury,  and  would  at  that 
moment  have  liked  a  word  of  love  better 
than  a  check  for  many  thousands.  Moreo- 
ver, she  did  not  want  him  to  look  into  the 
claim  anew,  lest  he  should  find  that  it  was 
being  pushed  without  regard  to  scruples,  and 
lest  he  should  even  be  moved  to  traverse  Mr. 
HoUowbread's  hopefnl  prospects. 

"  Promise  me  that  you  will  not  give  your- 
self the  least  trouble  about  that  poor  little 
business,"  she  went  on,  with  the  patience  of 
a  dove  and  the  wisdom  of  a  serpent.  "'  I 
want  you  to  be  just  simply  my  old  friend 
and  my  comforter.  You  are  the  only  man 
living  whom  I  feel  willing  to  cry  at  in  my 
troubles,"  she  added,  with  a  pleading  smile. ' 
"  You  are  the  only  man  who  can  make  me 
cry.  It  is  because  you  are  my  sole  friend, 
and  nothing  more  —  I  mean  nothing  less. 
Stay  what  you  are.     I  like  it  best  so." 

Bradford  was  not  in  such  a  tranquil  frame 
as  to  be  ablato  studj'  character  attentively, 
or  to  weigh  with  accuracy  the  intellectual 
merit  of  conversation.  But  he  felt — he  had 
a  quick  and  yet  clear  impression — that  this 
young  lady  was  in  some  respects  his  equal 
in  brain-power,  if  not  his  superior.  What  a 
pity,  he  vaguely  thought,  that  she  was  not 
as  fine  morally  as  she  was  intellectually! 
In  such  case,  what  a  glorious  woman  she 
would  be,  and  what  a  desirable,  adorable 
wife  she  would  make ! 

Well,  was  Mr.  Edgar  Bradford  worthy  of  a 
glorious  woman  and  adorable  wife  ?  Doubt- 
ed: at  least  he  had  rarely  shown  himself  ad- 
mirable in  his  treatment  of  women  ;  his  hon- 
or had  mainly  been  for  men  and  manly  af- 
fairs. However,  he  none  the  less  demand- 
ed perfection  in  whomsoever  willed  to  marry 
him,  and  could  not  yet  accept  Josie  Murray 
as  fit  for  that  exalted  destiny. 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


97 


Thus  there  were  no  Avonls  uttered  in  this 
couvcrsatioii  which  decided  that  any  body 
shouUl  talic  or  bo  talceii  for  better  or  worse. 
The  final  sentences  of  it  were,  "  I  sliall  call 
often  "  from  ]3radford,  and  a  fervent,  grate- 
ful "  Do !"  from  Josio. 

Wo  ought  to  add  that  tho  gentleman  kept 
his  promise,  and  that  henceforward  there 
were  frequent  long  and  delightful  inter- 
views between  them,  to  tho  great  anguish 
of  love-cracked  Mr.  llollowbread. 

This  very  day  that  gentleman  had  a  turn 
in  his  sentimental  inwards,  in  consequence 
of  arriving  at  tho  Murray  house  just  in  time 
to  see  Bradford  leave  it,  and  finding  Josio 
still  marked  by  the  sweet  agitation  of  tho 
interview.  Her  cheeks  had  a  hot  and  al- 
most crimson  flush  in  them,  and  her  dark 
eyes  were  strangely  bright,  hunud,  dreamy, 
aud  tender.  Sir.  llollowbread  faintly  hoped 
that  all  this  was  because  of  his  own  coming, 
aud  yet  ho  felt  intolerably  sure  that  it  was 
because  tho  other  had  come.  Knowing  that 
Bradford  had  been  a  favored  admirer  of  Mrs. 
Murray,  he  found  it  distressingly  easy  to  be 
jealous  of  him. 

"  I  am  so  glad  to  see  you !"  said  Josie,  try- 
ing to  look  interested  in  his  arrival.  "  Do 
take  a  seat  and  talk  to  me.  Tell  me  what 
is  going  on — tell  mo  something  agreeable." 

But  tho  phrases  were  obviously  mere  com- 
monplaces of  civility,  aud  her  eyes  had  an 
air  of  not  seeing  him  —  of  looking  beyond 
hiu). 

"I  will  sit  down,  thank  you,"  answered 
tho  Congressman,  in  his  loud-breathing  way. 
"  But,  as  for  any  thing  agreeable,  it  is  rather 
a  dull  and  sad  world ;  at  least,  I  find  it  so." 

He  looked  more  than  gloomy ;  ho  looked 
positively  glum.  In  short,  ho  was  suft'ering 
acutely  from  tho  thought  that  it  would  be 
useless  for  a  man  of  his  Yonerable  figure  to 
court  Mrs.  Murray  in  opposition  to  the  court- 
ship of  the  young  and  handsome  man  who 
had  just  quitted  her. 

"A  dull  and  sad  world!"  repeated  Josio. 
"  Oh,  Mr.  llollowbread,  do  you  como  here 
to  tell  me  that  ?  Why,  I  look  to  you  for 
strength  and  cheering.  Melancholy  is  a 
woman's  business,  and  not  a  man's.  I  have 
had  an  awful  day  ;  I  have  cried  at  least  two 
hours  this  very  day.  Oh,  it  has  been  hor- 
rid !  And  here  you  raise  my  spirits  by  tell- 
ing mo  it  is  a  sad  world,  and  things  can't 
possibly  go  well  in  it." 

Ho  was  relieved,  tho  poor  man  ;  yes,  he 
was  absolutely  comforted.  So  she  had  had 
a  bad  day,  and  Bradford's  company  had  been 
110  solace  to  her;  and  no  hand  but  his  own 
could  draw  the  iron  from  her  soul!  Mr. 
Hollo wb read's  spirits  bubbled  up  at  once, 
aud  brimmed  over  in  a  cheerful  smile. 

"I  must  congratulate  you  on  one  thing, 

at  least,"  ho  observed.     "  You  bear  sorrow 

wonderfully  well ;  it  is  even  very  becoming 

to  you.     I  never  saw  you  looking  in  better 

7 


/ 


healtli,  or — do  excuse  mo  for  being  frank — 
or  handsomer." 

"  Oh  !  handsomer  !  Well,  that  is  good 
news!"'  laughed  Josie,  with  an  air  of  con- 
tent whicii  gratified  him. 

She  was  thinking  of  Bradford,  and  hoping 
that  she  had  been  handsome  during  his  stay, 
and  that  he  would  remembisr  it. 

But  this  recollection  and  this  desire  did 
not  prevent  her  from  going  on  to  say  things 
which  would  naturally  be  agreeable  to  the 
old  gentleman  now  present.  She  could  not 
afibrd  to  have  him  dissatisfied  with  her,  and 
consequently  with  the  work  which  ho  had 
undertaken  for  her.  She  percmittorily  need- 
ed his  fervent  devotion  and  his  laborious 
fidelity  ;  and  to  gain  these  she  would  Hatter 
him  and  llirt  with  him,  grizzled  and  dyed 
and  strapped  and  padded  as  he  was. 

It  was  a  wonderful  performance  for  a 
woman  of  two-and-twenty,  and,  considering 
her  as  a  mere  social  force,  it  does  her  great 
credit.  Of  course  she  Avas  hel]ied  out  in  the 
matter  by  her  native  turn  toward  coquetry 
— a  turn  so  vigorous  that  she  could  strive 
to  attract  almost  any  thing  in  the  shape  of 
a  man,  and,  had  men  been  lacking,  might, 
perhaps,  have  made  eyes  at  wax-figurfcs  aud 
scarecrows. 

But,  furthermore,  she  had  practical  sense   / 
enough  (and  here  is  one  proof  of  tho  unusuaiy 
intelligence  which  I  have  imputed  to  her) — li 
she  had  sense  enough  to  see  that  a  claimant  ^ 
in  Washington  must  not  stick  to  young  menV 
alone.    Usually  this  is  what  the  juvenile  ad-  «^ 
venturcss  does,  and  this  is  why  she  so  sel-  V; 
dom  secures  her  appropriation.     She  arrives 
in  our  earthly  Jerusalem  with  the  intent  of 
pilfering  a  goodly  slab  of  tho  golden  pave- 
ment, and  a  largo  block  out  of  tho  walls  of 
precious  stones.     But  although  she  earnest- 
ly means  business,  she  does  not  know  whom 
to  apply  to  to  get  it  done,  or  she  lets  her 
sentiments  divert  her  from  the  necessary  se- 
verities of  her  mission.     She  falls  in  love, 
perhaps ;  and,  if  so,  she  is  pretty  certain  to 
pick  out,  as  the  object  of  her  adoration,  tho 
youngest  and  handsomest  bachelor  member; 
we  will  suppose,  for  example,  that  she  sets 
her  cap  at  that  "oiled  and  curled  "Apollo  of 
thirty,  the  graceful  Potiphar. 

But  Potiphar  is  in  tho  full  tide  of  easy 
love-conquests,  and  naturally  docs  not  care 
to  work  hard  or  pay  high  for  a  now  one. 
Moreover,  he  has  his  political  character  to 
make,  and  must  not  risk  it  for  the  sake  of 
a  tear  and  a  smile.  Finally,  ho  has  little 
influence ;  ho  has  not  won  tho  ear  of  the 
House;  ho  is  ou  a  fourth-rate  committee. 
Thus,  he  desires  to  do  little  for  his  lovely 
suitor;  and  even  that  little  is,  perhaps,  be- 
yond his  limited  powers. 

Meanwhile  some  wily,  experienced,  unfos- 
tidi(ms  adventuress,  of  thirty  or  forty,  or, 
dear  me!  of  forty -live,  has  gone  straight 
to  tho  thrones  and  principalities;  she  has 


93 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


made  eyes  at  tliose  bald,  time-worn,  uncome- 
ly dispensers  of  gifts,  General  Bangs  and 
General  Horublower  and  Senator  Irouman, 
and  with  the  greatest  ease  she  has  got  her 
husband  an  ofiice,  and  herself  au  appropria- 
tion. 

Josie  Murray,  however,  and  her  fortunate 
rival,  Jlrs.  John  Vane,  were  different  from 
most  of  the  young  women  who  came  to  Wash- 
ington with  the  hope  of  making  money  or  a 
sensation.  In  many  things  these  two  notice- 
able ladies  were  uulike,  but  in  one  practical 
characteristic  they  were  similar.  There  was 
something  in  their  natures  (and  it  is  not 
quite  au  agreeable  trait  to  dwell  upon)  which 
enabled  them  to  be  on  kindly  terms  with  el- 
derly admirers,  and  that,  too,  Avithout  serious 
sentiments  of  disrelish. 

"  There  is  one  great  pleasure  in  being  hand- 
some, Mr.  Hollowbread,"  continued  Josie.  "  I 
do  believe  that  it  gives  satisfaction  to  oue's 
friends.  Don't  yon  like,"  she  asked,  archly 
and  encouragingly,  "  dou't  you  like  to  have 
me  handsome  ?" 

Mr.  Hollowbread,  with  his  heart  iu  his 
mouth  and  in  his  boots  at  the  same  moment, 
replied  that  he  did  like  it.  In  fact,  he  did 
not  confine  himself  to  that  measurable  state- 
ment, but  signified  as  much  more  to  similar 
effect  as  looks  could  express. 

"  Tliat  is  what  pleases  me,"  declared  Josie, 
though  meauwhilo  she  seated  herself  in  the 
isolation  of  a  chair,  and  not  ou  a  sofa,  as  when 
Bradford  was  present.  "  I  don't  care  much 
to  think  myself  pretty,  but  I  do  want  my 
best  frieuds  to  think  me  so." 

"  One  of  your  best  frieuds  had  the  taste  to 
think  you  so  when  he  first  saw  you,  and  to 
continue  in  that  mind  ever  since,"  assever- 
ated Mr.  Hollowbread,  with  a  solemnity  of 
emotion  which  did  credit  to  his  heart,  how- 
ever poorly  it  might  speak  for  his  noddle. 

Josie  smiled,  and  nodded  her  thanks,  as 
she  always  did  when  any  one  paitl  her  a  com- 
pliment, whether  that  one  were  man  or  wom- 
an. At  the  same  time  she  fixed  her  lustrous 
dark  eyes  upon  her  admirei"'s  rather  faded 
optics  with  an  expression  which  he  found 
singularly.moving.  It  is  strange  to  tell,  but 
those  eyes  were  scarcely  less  tender  and  melt- 
ing now  thiiu  Avhen  they  had  beeu  bent  upon 
the  man  whom  she  earnestly  liked ;  and  one 
is  led  to  believe  that  she  was  not  entirely  re- 
sponsible for  the  frequent  sweetness  and  fer- 
vor of  their  utterances.  However  that  may 
be,  they  often  allured  and  entangled  mas- 
culine souls  when  it  did  not  seem  natural 
that  their  owner  could  desire  any  such  re- 
sult. In  the  present  case  they  bewildered 
and  bamboozled  and  completely  deprived  of 
his  connnon  sense  this  really  able  Congress- 
man, this  fluent  orator,  whom  many  thonglit 
worthy  of  being  the  leader  of  his  party  in  tlie 
House,  and  who,  but  for  his  laziness,  might 
perhaps  lead  it  to — say,  the  devil. 

"  Mrs.  Murray,"   ho   gasped,  vastly  more 


clioked  and  affrighted  than  he  would  have 
supposed  possible,  considering  his  large  and 
varied  experience  in  making  love. 

Mrs.  Murray,  seasoned  coquette  as  she  was, 
also  had  a  little  spasm  in  the  throat,  for  she 
saw  what  was  coming. 

"  May  I  ask  your  serious  attention  for  one 
moment  f  continued  Mr.  Hollowbread,  after 
he  had  cleared  his  voice  by  a  deep  and  mel- 
low ahem. 

The  natural  purity,  the  tenderness  and 
grace  of  fine-ladyhood  asserted  itself  for  one 
moment  in  Josie's  face  ;  it  had  a  really  beau- 
tiful and  touching  expression  of  alarm,  shy- 
ness, and  startled  modesty  as  she  mechanic- 
ally and  very  gently  bowed  her  head;  it  was 
just  then  a  face  which  the  noblest  man  alive 
might  have  revered  without  hesitation  or 
stint. 

"  I  am  entirely  unworthy  of  saying  what 
I  am  about  to  say,"  confessed  this  venerable 
lover.  "  It  is  a  jnece  of  extreme  and  ^ler- 
haps  ridiculous  presumption  in  me  even  to 
conceive  of  such  an  audacity." 

Josie's  coral  lips  moved,  but  gave  forth  no 
sound,  not  even  a  whisi^er.  She  did  not 
want  him  to  propose,  for  she  felt  that  she 
could  not,  could  not  possibly,  accept  him, 
and  she  had  not  devised  how  she  might  re- 
fuse him  without  giving  offense.  To  quar- 
rel with  him,  to  drive  him  away  from  her  be- 
fore he  had  secured  her  claim,  was  a  thing 
too  di-eadful  to  contemplate.  A  vague,  wild 
idea  of  taking  him  for  the  present,  and  jilt- 
ing him  as  soon  as  he  had  got  her  money 
for  her,  came  into  her  busy  little  head.  But 
her  prevalent  impulse  was  to  beg  him  to  say 
nothing ;  to  put  the  matter  off  somehow ;  to 
gain  time.  While  she  was  in  this  uncertain 
frame  of  mind,  Mr.  Hollowbread  pursued  his 
elaborate  way  through  his  ofier. 

"  But  the  truth  is,  Mrs.  Murray,  I  have 
dared,"  he  continued,  "  old  as  I  am  and  in- 
significant as  I  am,  I  have  dared — to  love 
you.  I  have  had  the  folly  to  fix  my  heart 
ou  the  hope  of  winning  you  for  my  wife." 

The  murder  was  out,  and  Josie  could  have 
screamed.  She  had  half  a  dozen  emotions 
and  impulsive  desires  in  less  than  two  sec- 
onds. Now  that  the  thing  had  beeu  said, 
now  that  the  grasping,  demanding,  exorbi- 
tant word  wife  had  been  pronounced,  she 
started  with  a  violent  shudder  of  negation, 
aversion,  and  dislike.  She  would  have  beeu 
pleased  to  run  out  of  the  room,  and  in  case 
]Mr.  Hollowbread  blocked  her  way,  to  slap 
his  crimson  face.  But  that  sort  of  behavior 
would  never  do;  propriety  and  the  claim 
alike  forbade  it.  She  was  equal  to  her  com- 
plicated and  hazardous  situation,  however, 
and  after  one  throbbing  moment,  she  utter- 
ed what  was  fitting  and  wise. 

"  You  !"  .she  said,  remembering  the  speech 
of  a  heroine  iu  "  Pelliam,"  and  turning  it  to 
her  own  purposes.  '*  I  never  suspected  that 
you  could  thiisk  of  such  things.     I  supposed 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


99 


tliat  you  -were  all  occupied  in  tho  p:roat  af- 
fairs of  man's  life  —  in  statcsinausliip  and 
liuanco.  Oh,  Sir.  Hollowbrcad,  liow  yon  have 
surprised  me  !  How  could  you  caro  for  siicli 
a  child — such  aTi  insignificant  trifle — as  I 
know  that  I  am !"' 

"I  could,  and  do,"  lie  replied,  with  a  sim- 
plicity and  feeling  which  made  him  appear 
really  fine,  almost  noble.  "  You  arc  not  what 
you  say,  Sirs.  Murray.  You  are  a  lady  of 
unusual  intellect  and  remarkable  character. 
You  are  worthy  of  my  admiration  and  af- 
fection, and  you  have  them.  I  am  obliged 
in  honor  to  add  that  you  are  worthy  of  the 
love  of  men  far  more  desirable  and  admira- 
ble than  myself.  The  solo  question  is,  what 
am  I  worthy  of?'' 

It  was  well  said,  because  it  was  deeply 
felt.  Josie  raised  her  eyes  to  his  face  with 
respect,  if  not  with  a  certain  amount  of 
kindly  interest.  Then  she  suddenly  drop- 
ped them,  and  for  a  time  looked  at  him  no 
more.  She  knew  jii-etty  well  how  eloquent 
those  eyes  of  hers  were,  how  much  more 
they  were  apt  to  express  than  she  could  feel, 
and  how  powerfully  they  often  moved  men 
upon  whom  they  rested.  Mr.  Hollowbread 
must  not  receive  their  encouragemeut  nor  be 
exposed  to  their  fascination. 

"Let  me  add  one  word  of  what  is  merely 
fair  and  honorable  exxdanation,"  he  contin- 
ued. "  I  am  abundantly  able  to  relieve  you 
of  any  possible  need  of  urging  this  perhaps 
uncertain  claim.  My  property  amounts  to 
at  least  two  hundred  thousand  dollars,  as  I 
shall  be  able  to  show  satisfactorily  to  your 
relatives.  Excuse  me,  Mrs.  INIurray,  for  men- 
tioning this.  I  am  myself  not  worthy  of 
your  consideration.  But  I  can  at  least  sur- 
round you  with  every  comfort,  and  secure 
you  from  the  meaner  anxieties  of  life." 

For  the  first  time  since  be  had  begun  his 
offer  Josie  vacillated  in  her  feelings  and 
pondered  seriously  the  idea  of  an  acceptar^ce. 
Money  she  terribly  needed ;  money  her  com- 
bined greed  and  extravagance  led  her  to 
prize  highly ;  and  hero  was  as  much  money 
as  she  could  rationally  hojie  to  gain  by  mar- 
yt^ge  or  any  other  means  open  to  woman. 

For  a  moment  she  queried,  with  oppress- 
ed breath  and  an  almost  motionless  heart, 
whether  she  could  surrender  her  youth  and 
beauty  to  this  man  for  his  two  hundred 
thousand  dollars. 


CHAPTER  XXIX. 

Jin.  IIOLLOWBKEAD  OX  mOBATIOX. 

Josie  gave  Mr.  Hollowbread  one  hastj^  and 
furtive  glance,  not  unlike  the  look  which 
we  cast  at  a  dentist's  instruments  when  he 
invites  us  to  sit  down  in  his  stu tied  chair ; 
then  she  decided,  with  a  spasm  of  the  heart 
(or,  perhaps,  it  might  have  be»n  only  the 


diaphragm),  that  she  could  not  possibly  ac- 
cept him  ;  at  least,  not  that  afternoon. 

"  I — can  not,"  slie  faltered,  speaking  more 
frankly  and  conclusively  than  was  polite  or 
politic,  so  urgent  was  that  internal  recoil. 

Mr.  Ilollowbread's  massive  and  splendid- 
ly florid  countenance  turned  to  a  bluish 
pallor.  Strong-minded  as  lie  was  in  a  gen- 
eral way,  and  inured  to  tho  vicissitudes  of 
love- making  by  much  experience,  this  re- 
fusal was  a  severe  blow  to  liim. 

For  a  few  seconds  he  remained  paralyzed, 
with  his  i)iteous,  dumb  mouth  a  little  ajar, 
like  a  young  robin  Avho  has  died  in  tho  .act 
of  asking  for  a  worm.  During  that  awful 
moment  there  was,  perhaps,  more  vitalitj''  in 
the  straps,  pads,  braces,  and  springs  of  his 
raiment  than  there  was  in  tho  pulpy  car- 
cass which  it  kept  in  shape.  This  anguish 
was  so  unconcealably  immense  as  to  bo  sub- 
lime, startling,  and  even  menacing. 

Josie  herself  felt  that  it  was  no  cheerful 
spectacle  to  see  a  Congressman  in  i-uius. 
Moreover,  she  became  suddenly  fearful  of 
losing  her  advocate,  of  changing  him  possi- 
bly into  an  enemy,  and  so  of  risking  the  suc- 
cess of  her  claim. 

"At  least,  I  must  have  time — you  have  so 
surprised  me !"  she  added.  "  You  ought,  in 
fairness,  to  give  me  time  to  consider  such  a 
serious  matter  as  this." 

'•  I  will,  Mrs.  Murray !"  gasped  the  drown- 
ing Hollowbread,  clutching  at  tho  straw 
which  she  held  out  to  him.  "  I  am  awaro 
that  it  is  a  serious  matter  to  you." 

"It  is  such  a  great  step  —  to  propose  to 
one — marriage !"  sobbed  Josie,  tears  spring- 
ing into  her  eloquent  eyes,  though  from 
what  source  of  feeling  we  can  not  explain. 

"  Pardon  me,  Mrs.  Murray !"  begged  the 
truly  loving  and  therefore  deeply  humble 
Hollowbread.  "  I  have  been  too  hasty  with 
you.  I  have  behaved  like  a  brute.  I  ask 
your  forgiveness." 

It  was  very  touching,  this  tender-hearted 
meekness  of  a  love-lorn  old  statesman ;  but 
Josie,  although  intelligent  enough  to  per- 
ceive its  pathos,  Avas  too  selfish  to  bo  moved 
by  it ;  she  was  looking  at  her  own  side  of 
the  worry. 

"Then  we  will  not  think  of  it  any  more 
for  the  present,  Mr.  Hollowbread,"  she  in- 
sinuated, cheerfully,  as  she  wiped  away  her 
pair  of  tears. 

"  We  icill  think  of  it,  I  hope,"  prayed  the 
Congressman;  "at  least,  I  shall  not  and  can 
not  cease  to  think  of  it.  \Vc  will  not,  how- 
ever, speak  of  it  until  such  a  time  as  you 
may  fix.  I  oidy  venture  to  beg  that  it  may 
not  bo  set  tar  distant." 

"  I  shall  want  a  great  deal  of  time,"  said 
Josie,  venturing  one  of  her  musical,  roguish 
giggles,  with  the  intent  of  diminishing  the 
gravity  of  the  occasion. 

"Allow  me  to  trust  uot  more  than  a 
week." 


100 


PLAYIXG  THE  MISCHIEF. 


"  Ob,  Mr.  HolloAvbread !— a  week !  What 
a  hurry  you  are  iu !  Oue  •would  think  ayc 
•were  not  going  to  live  more  than  a  month 
or  two.  Do  consider  how  hard  it  "would  be 
for  me  to  settle  a  life-long  matter  so  soon ! 
Rome  was  not  built  in  a  day ;  and  this  is  a 
Eome  to  me — a  woman's  Rome.  I  think — 
yes,  I  know  hy  experience — that  marriage 
should  not  be  entered  on  lightly,"  she  add- 
ed, ■with  an  air  of  sad  remembrance,  as  if 
poor  Augustus  liad  behaved  "worse  to  lier 
than  she  to  him.  "And  so  you  must  have 
patience,  and  give  me  a  chance  to  meditate 
— a  long,  long  chance.  Can't  you  guess 
lio"w  much  time  I  "^-ant  ?" 

"A  fortnight,"  guessed  Hollowbread,  "witli 
a  smile ;  for  her  manner  "was  more  encour- 
aging tbau  her  words,  and  his  courage  had 
risen. 

"A  fortnight!"  Josie  laughed  outright. 
"  Oh,  what  a  mannish  man !  Just  like  all  of 
them — in  a  hurry  to  get,  and  in  a  hurry  to 
throw  away ;  now  for  this  plaything,  aud 
uo"w  for  that  one." 

"Ah,  Mrs.  Murray,  you  do  me  injustice," 
sighed  Hollowbread.  '•'  I  assure  you  most 
solemnly  that  my  "whole  soul  is  interested  in 
this  matter,  and  that  my  life-long  happiness 
depends  on  your  decision.  How  can  I  heli) 
desiring  to  escape  from  suspense  ?" 

"Xo,  no;  I  don't  do  you  injustice,"  de- 
clared Josie,  determined  not  to  let  the  dia- 
logue drift  back  into  the  pathetic  and  stren- 
uous. "  I  do  you  the  justice  to  believe  that 
you  are  so  wise,  so  kind,  so  truly  my  best 
counselor  and  friend,  as  to  "want  me  to 
■weigh  your  oiier  thoughtfully,  and  to  de- 
cide my  future  carefully.  "Well,  to  do  that  I 
must  have  time — mucli  more  time  than  you 
speb;k  of.  -luiuat  have  thr&a  mouths !"  she 
concluded,  remembering  that  by  then  the 
session  "would  be  ended,  and  the  fate  of  her 
claim  settled. 

"  It  is  a  long  period,"  gently  remonstra- 
ted the  deeply  disappointed  Congressman. 

"  It  is  long ;  but  it  is  short  compared  "with 
the  rest  of  my  life — at  least  I  hope  so,  Mr. 
Hollowbread,  don't  you  ?  It  "v^•ill  be  short 
to  you  because  you  "uill  be  absorbed  in  great 
labors  aud  noble  measures.  And  as  for  me, 
"would  you  have  me  decide  in  a  fortnight,  at 
the  risk  of  repenting  in  a  year?" 

''I  would  have  you  do  what  you  believe 
to  be  best  for  yourself,"  answered  the  self- 
abnegation  of  profound  allection. 

"Oh,  thank  you!"  smiled  Josie,  leaping 
adroitly  at  the  martyr-like  concession,  and 
perhajis  thinking  the  "while  that  "within  a 
year  slie  might  bo  married  to  Bradford. 
*•  That  is  so  like  you,  Mr.  Hollowbread — so 
kind,  80  considerate,  so  good !  I  shall  al- 
"ways  be  grateful  to  you  for  this  great  favor. 
And  now  oue  other  thing — something  very, 
very  important.  This  mast  all  be  a  secret 
— a  profound  secret." 

"  On  my  "word  and  honor,"  bowed  Hol- 


lowbread, "with  the  solemnity  of  a  President 
taking  the  oath  to  support  the  Constitution. 
"  Aud  allow  me,  Mrs.  Murray,  to  mention 
still  one  other  thing,  also,  as  it  seems  to  me, 
important.  I  consider  myself  engaged  to 
you  until  your  answer  is  received.  You  are 
free,  but  I  am  bound." 

Josie  returned  no  response  to  this,  and 
made  believe  uot  to  have  heard  him. 

'•'  I  shall  wait,  but  with  an  anxiety  which 
I  can  uot  express,"  he  continued,  anxious  to 
get  oue  cheering  word. 

"  It  shall  be  the  previous  question  when 
it  does  come  up,"  she  laughed,  quoting  a 
Congressional  phrase  in  the  way  of  light- 
hearted  slang,  still  with  a  hope  of  giving 
the  whole  transaction  a  humorous  aud  triv- 
ial character. 

"It  is  the  only  question  with  me,"  replied 
Mr.  Hollowbread,  heaving  a  grave  and  al- 
most sorrowful  sigh. 

She  saw  that  he  could  not  be  induced  to 
make  merry  over  his  ofier,  and  it  seemed  to 
her  the  part  of  prudence  to  change  the  sub- 
ject. 

"  Are  you  doing  any  thing  interesting  iu 
Congress  ?"  was  her  next  utterance. 

"Nothing  of  any  moment  whatever,"  he 
answered,  with  a  scarcely  concealed  impa- 
tience, being  utterly  unable  at  that  moment 
to  talk  of  legislative  matters. 

"  Wheu  shall  I  get  my  money,  Mr.  Hol- 
lowbread ?"  she  now  asked,  thinking  it  a 
good  time  to  stir  him  up  about  the  claim. 

In  justice  to  her  intellect,  I  must  add 
that  she  put  this  cruel  question  with  a  full 
knowledge  that  it  was  cruel.  But  why 
should  she  not  demand  hard  things  of  him 
when  he  had  demanded  so  hard  a  thing  of 
her  ?  In  truth,  she  felt  a  little  vindictive 
toward  him  because  of  his  offer. 

"Ah!"  He  fairly  started,  remembering 
all  at  once  that  she  expected  work  of  him, 
and  judging  that  he  must  succeed  in  it  or 
fiul  to  win  her.  "  ^Yell,  I  am  keeping  the 
claim  under  my  eye,  and  hope  well  of  it," 
he  faltered,  knowing  that  he  had  not  done 
much.  "I  have  mentioned  it  repeatedly  to 
the  gentlemen  of  the  Spoliation  Committee, 
and  trust  that  they  will  reach  it  in  the 
course  of  a  few  days,  or  perhaps  it  would 
be  safer  to  say  iu  two  or  three  weeks.  The 
truth  is,  that  I  have  uot  yet  been  able  to  lis 
upon  the  amount  to  be  demanded,"  confess- 
ed Mr.  Hollowbread,  whose  prime  fiinlts,  as 
we  I'ecollect,  were  idleness  and  procrastina- 
tion. "  I  want  a  great  deal  for  you,  but  do 
not  see  my  way  clear  to  prove  a  right  to  a 
great  deal." 

"  Wliy,  claim  what  other  people  do,"  ad- 
vised Josie,  with  a  woman's  breadth  of  view 
in  giving  counsel.  "Claim  two  hundred 
thousand  dollars,  and  get  what  you  can." 

"It  is  not  a  wise  way,  I  fear,"  sighed 
Hollowbread,  who  mildly  abominated  such 
ways,  aud  was  ashamed  to  enter  into  them. 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIT2P. 


101 


"Claims  advauced  in  tliat  manner  arc  less 
likely  to  succeed  than  those  which  present 
a  plansihlo  case  for  the  whole  sum  demand- 
ed. Moreover,  I  desire,  and  you  desire,  tliat 
your  suit  shouUl  be  a  strictly  rcputabki  one, 
and  not  open  to  nows])apcr  exi>osures  and 
Congressional  investigations.  Well,  I  have 
ventured  to  think  that  sixty  thousand  dol- 
lars might  do ;  and  that  sum  could  easily  be 
ligured  up  by  means  of  iuterests  and  proper 
conjectures  of  values;  that  is,  if  we  ignore 
the  first  payment  as  insnflieient  and  not 
worth  cousideriug.  What  I  want  and  need 
is,  to  get  word  from  Mr.  Drink  water  as  to 
whether  he  remembers  any  other  burned 
property  besides  the  mere  barn.  If  he  does, 
and  will  make  affidavit  to  that  effect,  wo 
are  strong.  Wo  might  demand  sixtj''  thou- 
sand, or  thereabouts,  imperatively  ;  might 
perhaps  go  up  to  a  hundred  thousand,  with 
good  hopes  of  success." 

"  Oh  dear !"  sighed  Josie. 

She  had  heard  all  this,  or  pretty  much  the 
same  sort  of  thing,  over  and  over.  It  seem- 
ed as  if  Mr.  Hollowbread  and  other  high 
and  mighty  people  could  talk  everlastingly 
about  her  business,  and  never  bring  it  a  bit 
the  nearer  to  a  satisfiictory  termination. 
Sometimes  the  subject,  with  its  apparently 
immovable  iuertia,  weighed  oppressively  on 
her  young  spirits. 

"  To-morrow  Is  the  last  day  before  re- 
cess," she  added,  in  a  tone  of  discourage- 
ment. 

"And  nothing  could  have  been  done,"  de- 
clared Mr.  Hollowbread,  jierceiving  that  he 
was  blamed,  and  wincing  under  it.  "Dur- 
ing recess,"  ho  continued,  "  and  properly 
during  the  latter  part  of  it,  so  as  to  get 
Drinkwater  here  by  the  opening  of  the  next 
sitting,  somebody  will  have  to  look  up  the 
old  gentleman.  I  have  written  to  him  in 
vain.  I  think  I  shall  go  on  to  see  him  per- 
sonally." 

"  And  I — shall  I  go  too  ?"  asked  Josie. 

She  had  once  promised  to  take  the  trip, 
but  that  Apiileyard  fracas  had  shaken  her 
adventurous  soul  a  trille,  and  made  her 
somewhat  afraid  of  exposing  herself  to  pub- 
lic tattle. 

"  It  would  help  me  very  much,"  affirmed 
the  lover,  hoping,  of  course,  that  it  would 
help  him  to  her  hand,  in  which,  case  he 
wanted  nothing  further  of  fortune. 

"  I  will  go,"  she  said,  with  a  gay  little  air 
of  defiance.  "  It  can  be  managed  somehow 
without  people  knowing.  I  should  enjoy 
the  fun  of  arguing  and  coaxing  evidence 
out  of  old  iSIr.  Drinkwater." 

It  was  all  characteristic  of  her,  the  audac- 
ity of  the  promise,  and  the  levity  with  which 
it  was  given.  Josie's  behavior  was  so  habit- 
ually risky,  that  many  light-hearted  persons 
were  always  hoping  she  would  commit  some 
dreadful  impropriety,  and  thus  furnish  them 
-with  a  relishing  cud  of  scandal. 


Possiblj''  a  iew  of  my  readers  are  in  ihis 
frame  of  expectation  concerning  the  little 
witch.  If  so,  I  can  hardly  Avonder,  or  blame 
them  as  uncharitable. 

"  15ut  there  is  something  else  to  be  done," 
she  wont  on.  "There  is  the  Connnittee  of 
Spoliations  to  make  sure  of,  and  you  never 
have  let  me  come  near  it.  Tell  me,  now,  do 
you  think  that  is  quite  judicious?  I  only 
know  what  peoi)lo  say.  They  say  that  in 
these  afl'airs  evidence  is  not  the  only  thing 
necessary;  they  say  that  favor  is  the  great 
point.  If  you  want  your  bill,  the  honorable 
gentlemen  of  the  connnittee  must  bo  mado 
favorable.  Other  ladies  attend  to  this;  they 
see  the  honorable  gentlemen,  they  interview 
them ;  and  then  somehow  the  honorable  gen- 
tlemen become  favorable.  It  does  seem  to 
mo  that  I  could  interview  them  as  effectu- 
ally as  any  body.  Of  course,  if  they  are  fa- 
vorable we  can  go  higher  in  our  damages, 
and  not  run  any  risk  in  doing  so.  Don't 
you  think  I  had  better  see  the  honorable 
gentlemen  ?" 

"I  supposed  that  you  might  find  it  nu- 
pleasaut  to  discuss  your  affairs  with  these 
people,"  mumbled  Mr.  Hollowbread,  pro- 
nouncing the  word  "  people  "  as  if  he  would 
have  preferred  to  say  "fellows,"  or  even 
"  blackguards,"  and  showing  clearly  in  his 
manner  that  he  did  not  fancy  the  proposed 
interviewing.  "  It  might,  I  must  concede, 
be  well  that  yon  should  do  it,"  ho  admitted, 
not  daring  to  tell  his  beloved  a  flat  lie,  and 
ashamed  to  expose  his  jealousy.  "And  yet 
I  should  be  very  sorry." 

Sorry,  indeed !  He  was  honest  there,  hon- 
est and  earnest.  So  "  tender  and  true  "  was 
the  love  of  this  old  beau  for  this  young  co- 
quette that  he  held  her  in  solenni  reverence. 
She  was  the  light  of  the  world  to  him ;  ho 
wanted  to  approach  her  with  obeisances  and 
genuflections  ;  he  could  have  burned  caudles 
before  her  and  waved  incense. 

To  such  a  devotee,  such  a  ritualist  iii2}ossc, 
it  was  dreadful  to  think  of  exposing  his  idol 
to  men  who  would  admire  her  without  wor-  v 
shipiug  her,  and  who  would  probably  pay 
her  an  audacious  courtesy  which  to  him 
must  seem  mere  profanation. 

The  act,  moreover,  would  be  an  admission 
of  his  own  insufficiency  as  an  advocate,  and 
might  bo  understood  as  conceding  his  own 
inferiority  in  influence  compared  with  those 
fellows  of  the  Spoliation  Committee. 

As  ho  thought  of  carrying  the  queen  of 
his  heart  before  the  potent  and  domineering 
General  Bangs,  he  angrily  compared  himself 
to  the  menial  and  humble  Nubian  in  G(5rome's 
picture,  who  sets  down  Cleopatra,  nude,  in 
the  presence  of  Cajsar. 

It  was  partlybeeause  he  liad  foaredlest  this 
degradation  might  come,  and  had  looked  for- 
ward to  it  with  disgust,  that  he  had  plunged 
that  morning  into  his  proposal  of  marriage. 
He  had  said  to  himself  that  if  she  would  ac- 


102 


^LAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


ce]jt  his  liand  and  his  considerable  fortune, 
then  he  couhl  induce  her  to  drop  her  wretch- 
ed claim  and  all  its  attendant  defilements. 
Possessed  as  he  "was  by  these  feelings,  we 
may  conceive  that  ho  should  be  sorrowful 
and  annoyed  when  Josie  jumped  gayly  at 
the  notion  of  interviewing  the  Spoliations 
Committee. 

"  Of  course  I  had  better  see  them/'  she  per- 
sisted. "  If  they  were  ladies  you  could  do 
best  with  them,  but  as  they  are  gentlemen  I 
shall  do  best." 

"  I  am  not  so  sure  that  they  are  gentle- 
men," Mr.  HoUowbread  could  not  help  an- 
swering. Not  wishing  to  appear  uuamiable 
or  otherwise  disagreeable  to  her,  he  said  it 
with  a  smile  ;  but  that  smile  was  much  like 
the  grin  of  a  dog  who  sees  another  dog  about 
to  smell  of  his  bone. 

It  was  really  exasperating  just  then  to  re- 
member the  last  dialogue  which  he  had  heard 
in  the  committee-room  about  Mrs.  Murray's 
affairs. 

"  HoUowbread,"  General  Bangs  had  barj'- 
toned  at  him,  "you  had  better  bring  on  your 
little  lady ;  we  want  to  ask  her  a  few  ques- 
tions, and  see  whether  she  is  worth  encour- 
aging at  this  expense." 

Then  General  Hornblower  had  winked  of- 
fensively, not  to  say  disgustingly,  at  Bangs, 
and  remarked,  in  his  suave  bass,  "  Certain- 
ly, general.  Our  friend  keeps  his  interest- 
ing client  too  much  to  himself.  We  are  not 
yet  absolutely  certain  that  there  is  a  Mi's. 
Murray." 

"Ah,  that  is  important,"  was  Bangs's  rep- 
artee. "  AVe  must  make  sure  that  there  is  a 
claimant,  and  that  the  claimant  is  of  the  sex 
alleged." 

To  which  Mr.  HoUowbread  had  merely  ven- 
tured to  reply,  trembling  the  while  through 
all  his  pads  and  springs  and  compressers, 

"  Gentlemen,  you  will  find  that  the  claim- 
ant is  a  lady  in  every  sense  of  the  word." 

"Are  they  so  disagreeable?"  asked  Josie, 
in  response  to  his  sneer  at  these  wretches. 
"  I  think  I  shall  know  how  to  manage  them. 
Don't  you  think  I  will  ?  Besides,  I  want  to 
do  something  for  myself.  It  is  jiroper  that 
I  should,  and  it  is  artistic.  I  am  the  Hamlet 
of  the  play,  and  it  won't  do  to  leave  Hamlet 
out  of 'Hamlet.'" 

"It  may  be  best  that  you  sliould  talk 
with  them,"  sighed  Mr.  HoUowbread,  with 
the  cahnness  of  well-bred  woe. 

"Can't  you  bring  them  hero?"  she  in- 
quired. "That  would  help  keep  them  on 
their  behavior.  I  could  see  them  in  the  en- 
try, and  have  spittoons  brought  for  them." 

Ho  was  delighted,  as  she  had  intended 
that  ho  should  be,  with  this  rough  satire  on 
his  fellow-lawgivers. 

"  It  would  be  well  enough  for  them,"  he 
laughed.  "  But,  unfortunately,  custom  com- 
pels them  to  transact  their  business  at  the 
Capitol.     Wo  shall  have  to  bow  to  the  prej- 


udices of  a  stupid  but  stubborn  world.  When 
women  come  to  vote,  things  will  be  better 
managed,  and  nicer." 

"  They  will  be  nicer  for  the  ruling  dowa- 
gers and  frights,  perhaps ;  but  for  the  pretty 
ones,  they  won't  be  as  nice  as  they  are  now. 
The  beauties  will  lose  all  their  intluence  and 
empire.  The  probability  is  that  they  will 
be  banished  or  beheaded,  together  with  the 
young  men  who  like  them." 

"  I  believe  you  are  right,"  said  Mr.  Hollow- 
bread,  staring  at  her  with  an  air  of  surprise 
and  admiration,  like  one  who  gets  new  light 
on  a  dark  subject.  "The  strong-minded 
movement  is  really  a  rebellion  of  the  ugly 
against  the  rule  of  the  beautiful.  May  that 
evil  day  when  belles  are  to  be  extirpated  not 
come  in  my  time !" 

"  It  would  kill  you,"  laughed  Josie,  return- 
ing his  gaze  with  a  glance  of  satirical  ap- 
probation. "You  would  wither  and  die  if 
you  could  not  see  pretty  women  about  you." 

"  I  should  not  have  the  patience  to  with- 
er," affirmed  the  jiortly  old  beau.  "  I  should 
commit  the  happy  dispatch." 

Josie  laughed  again,  and  right  heartily. 
It  was  unspeakably  comical  to  think  of  Mr. 
HoUowbread  laboriously  cutting  through 
all  that  more  or  less  visible  padding  and 
bandaging.  One  might  easily  imagine  him 
as  getting  tired  and  sitting  down  to  rest 
long  before  he  reached  his  epidermis. 

"  When  shall  we  go  to  see  the  animals?" 
she  asked,  presently,  referring  to  the  honor- 
able committee-men. 

"  Well,  I  scarcely  know,"  hesitated  Mr. 
HoUowbread,  very  unwilling  to  show  his 
menagerie. 

"Now  is  as  good  a  time  as  another,"  de- 
cided this  persistent  puss.     "  Let  us  go  at 


CHAPTEE  XXX. 

IXTEEVIEWIXG  THE  COMMITTEE  ON  SPOLIA- 
TIONS. 

As  Josie  and  her  Congressman  entered  the 
I'otunda  of  the  Capitol,  they  beheld  the  great 
Bangs  standing  (alas!  not  yet  in  memorial 
marble)  near  the  centre  of  the  floor,  and  hold- 
ing converse  with  that  artistic  mendicant, 
Jessie  Cohen. 

"  There  ho  is,"  said  HoUowbread.  "And 
there  she  is,"  ho  added,  with  even  plainer  dis- 
gust. "The  indefatigable  little  beggar! 
If  sho  painted  only  half  as  ably  as  she  pass- 
es around  the  hat,  she  would  make  a  great 
name  for  herself." 

"  People  must  do  what  they  can,"  respond- 
ed our  good-natured  heroine,  remembering 
that  sho  also  was  a  persistent  beggar,  but 
showing  no  anger.  "  I  suppose  sho  was  cre- 
ated to  pass  around  the  hat,  and  not  to 
paint." 

"  Yes,  and  of  course  she  wants  a  living," 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


lor, 


coiiceilocl  ITollowbread.  "  It  is  a  sail  fact,  \ 
and  especially  burdensome  to  Congressmen, 
that  every  body  does.  Perhaps  -vve  had  bet- 
ter wait  here,  and  speak  to  Bangs  as  soon  as 
she  gets  through  •with  him,  if  she  ever  does 
get  through." 

"It  is  a  poor  place  for  her  suit,"  thought 
Josie,  glancing  around  upon  the  horrible 
■wastes  of  "Plymouth  Kocks"  and  "  De  So- 
tos."  "  How  can  any  body  look  at  these 
things  and  then  vote  money  for  paintings  ?" 

"There,  he  has  slipped  away!"  exulted 
Ilollowbread.  "  No,  she  has  got  him  again. 
■\Ve  shall  have  to  possess  our  souls  in  i^a- 
tience." 

So  they  quietly  "watched  the  siege  which 
Avas  progressing,  and,  iu  spite  of  the  distance, 
overheard  somewhat  of  its  clamor.  Miss 
Cohen,  to  be  sure,  was  plaintively  low  iu 
speech,  and,  as  they  thought,  tearful  iu  coun- 
tenance. But  the  general  was  as  brassily 
sonorous  as  if  he  were  on  a  platform,  sound- 
ing forth  his  own  praises  or  reviling  a  po- 
litical opponent.  They  could  catch  a  faw  of 
his  noble  phrases:  "  Sacred  trusts, Miss  Co- 
hen"— "money  wrung  from  the  people" — 
"patriotism  before  art" — "use  before  beau- 
ty." Obviously  he  was  giving  the  suppli- 
cant uo  holies  that  she  would  obtain  her  tive- 
thousand-dollar  job  through  his  resonant 
mediation.  Obviously,  too,  he  wanted  to  be 
heard  by  the  sight -seers  around;  wanted 
them  to  know  that  he  was  blufting  the  ex- 
orbitant Miss  Cohen  ;  wanted  them  to  hear 
him  bow-wow  at  the  gate  of  the  Treasury. 
Presently  the  little  artist  lost  heart,  put  her 
handkerchief  to  her  eyes,  and  fell  away  from 
him.  As  she  passed  our  waiting  couple  they 
could  see  that  her  Oriental  countenance  was 
really  stained  with  tears. 

"  Poor  little  Jewess,"  said  Josie,  with  con- 
temptuous pity.  "  They  ought  to  give  her 
something.     Can  she  paint  at  all  ?" 

"  She  has  had  something,"  sniffed  Hollow- 
bread.  "And  she  can't  paint.  She  couldn't 
make  a  recognizable  portrait  of  one  of  Ja- 
cob's ring-streaked  rams.     Shall  we  go  on  ?" 

"Had  we  better?  It  seems  to  be  a  bad 
day  for  claimants.  I  don't  want  to  bo  re- 
buffed and  sent  off  crying." 

"You  will  not  be,"  smiled  Hollowbrcad. 
"  Bangs  has  merely  been  making  a  show  of 
cheap  virtue.  He  has  nothing  to  do,  by 
rights,  with  people  who  want  appropriations. 
I  don't  see  why  the  paiutress  should  go  to 
him ;  she  ought  to  have  known  the  roiies 
better." 

Meantime  he  had  signaled  to  Bangs,  and 
that  survivor  of  many  a  campaign  on  paper 
was  approaching  them,  bowing  aud  smiling 
with  a  graciousness  which  made  one  wonder 
how  he  could  have  been  so  hard  to  ^liss  Co- 
hen. But  the  general  knew  whom  to  kick 
and  when  to  kick  them.  There  was  at  tliat 
time  a  reaction  in  the  country  against  Jes- 
sie, the  editors  having  attacked  her  as  a 


humbug  in  art  and  a  brazen  beggar,  and 
Congress  having  bowed  to  the  levin  of  the 
l)ress.  Meantime  Josie  Murray  was  a  lady 
by  blood,  an  acknowledged  belle  in  lino  so- 
ciety, and  po.ssessed  of  potent  i)olitical  ad- 
herents. So  the  knowing  Bangs  was  ready 
to  despise  the  one  and  equally  ready  to 
cleave  unto  the  other. 

"When  the  introduction  took  place,  ourlier- 
oine  had  the  wisdom  to  look  her  meekest 
and  to  make  her  most  humble  obeisance. 
She  had  divined,  the  singularly  precocious 
young  woman,  tliatthis  exceptional  man  did 
not  want  to  be  Hirted  with,  but  only  to  be 
bowed  down  to. 

"I  am  delighted  to  meet  you,  madam," 
said  the  general,  in  his  penetrating,  snare- 
drum  voice.  "  I  have  seen  you— and  much 
ofteuer  heard  of  you — leading  our  Washiug- 
ton  society." 

"  I  wish  the  spectacle  were  worthier,  sir," 
answered  Josie,  really  blushing  a  little,  so 
agitated  was  she  —  about  her  claim.  "I 
should  like  to  do  something  worthy  of  your 
notice." 

And  so  she  went  on  ;  she  did  her  cunning- 
est.  The  war  was  the  main  subject  of  her 
remarks  ;  she  had  watched  his  deeds  of  der- 
ring-do with  breathless  interest;  she  had 
been,  oh!  enthusiastically  appreciative  of  his 
matchless  services.  The  general  was  even 
more  gratified  than  .she  had  hoped  that  he 
would  be.  His  martial  career  was  exactly 
the  point  in  his  history  ou  which  he  most 
needed  eiilogy.  Many  persons  had  criticised 
a  leadership  which  consisted  in  staying  be- 
hind, aud  a  skill  which  showed  itself  in  keep- 
ing behind  the  range  of  musketry.  He 
beamed  aud  strutted ;  one  might  say  that 
his  face  was  ou  the  top  of  his  head  ;  he  seem- 
ed to  be  looking  for  his  i)laco  among  the 
geniuses  of  the  frescoed  cupola. 

"  You  bring  back  old  times  to  me,  Mrs. 
Murray,"  he  declared.  "  Great  times  they 
were,  too,  though  terrible  ones.  I  often  feel 
that,  if  it  were  not  for  the  wounds  and  the 
carnage  and  the  misery,  I  should  like  to  put 
on  the  armor  again.  But  war,  although  mag- 
nificent^ is  shocking.  I  say,  with  our  glori- 
ous chief  magistrate,  and  doubtless  with  all 
who  took  a  personal  part  iu  the  struggle,  let 
us  have  peace." 

"  Yes,  let  us  have  peace,  and  let  us  devot* 
ourselves  to  healing  the  wounds  of  the  war," 
said  Hollowbrcad. 

"  Certainly,"  replied  Bangs,  comprehend- 
ing perfectly  that  he  was  being  led  up  to  the 
claim,  and  simply  anxious  to  facilitate  the 
operation. 

He  was  so  ready-witted  iu  catching  the 
suggestion,  and  so  prompt  in  assuming  a 
business  air,  that  it  seemed  as  if  his  late  ex- 
pression of  gratitied  vanity  must  have  been 
mere  cajolery.  It  may,  iiuleed,  have  been 
so,  for  the  man  was  not  easily  fathomed,  aud 
not  easily  deceived. 


104 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


"Mrs.  MuiTay  is  oue  of  tbe  sufferers,  I  be- 
lieve," he  bowed,  helping  ou  his  brother  Cou- 
gressmaii,  ^Yho,  as  "we  are  aware,  was  rather 
slow. 

"And  she  has  begged  me,"  continued  Hol- 
lowbread,  "  to  present  her  to  you  as  the  per- 
son who,  of  all  others,  is  the  most  likely  and 
the  most  able  to  see  that  she  receives  justice." 

Josie  Avas  a  good,  deal  dismayed,  but  her 
fright  did  not  prevent  her  from  doing  what 
was  wise.  She  made  a  good  little  girl's  bow, 
and  uplifted  a  glance  which  acknowledged. 
Bangs  as  an  arbiter  of  her  fate. 

"  I  remember  your  claim  perfectly,"  bowed 
the  hero.  He  sxioko  with  his  finest  gracious- 
ness,  and  very  gracious  indeed  he  knew  how 
to  be,  though  fonder  of  being  insolent.  "  We 
have  your  claim  under  consideration,  and 
think  well  of  it.  I  have  no  doubt  that  it 
■will  get  into  a  bill  in  course  of  time." 

"Thank  you,  general,"  said  Josie,  ever  so 
meekly  and  gratefully. 

"  Would  you  like  to  hear  Mrs.  Murray  state 
the  case  ?"  asked  Hollowbread.  "  Or  do  yoii 
require  her  iiresence  before  the  committee  ?" 

"Not  in  the  least,"  trumpeted  Bangs. 
"  We  have  the  papers.  Mrs.  Murray  need  give 
herself  no  trouble.  I  say  that  the  claim  is 
a  good  one,  and  a  just  one,  and  a  holy  one, 
and  must  be  xi-iid.  I  have  uo  doubt  that 
Horublower  and  the  others  will  take  my 
•word  that  it  is  all  right." 

He  was  perfectly  satisfied.  Due  acknowl- 
edgment of  his  greatness  and  authority  had 
been  made,  and  the  ostentatious  tyrant  want- 
ed nothing  more,  not  even  a  flirtation.  Be- 
sides, he  was  a  terribly  busy  creature,  entan- 
gled in  a  hundred  intrigues  and  plots,  giving 
uo  little  time  also  to  real  public  measures, 
ever  on  the  watch  to  hurt  an  enemy  or  even 
a  uou-adherent,  bent  furiously  upon  making 
himself  a  leader  among  men,  and  so  having 
no  leisure  to  toy  with  women. 

"General,  you  are  very  good!"  exclaimed 
Josie,  quite  overjoyed.  "Do,  I  beg  of  you, 
remember  me,  and  bear  in  mind  that  my  fam- 
ily property  was  really,  really  destroyed, 
burned  iu  actual  battle  with  the  enemy." 

"  Battle  !"  returned  Bangs,  with  a  start — 
"in  battle!  I  really  had  not  noticed  that. 
Why,  Hollowbread,  you  know,  I  suppose,  that 
the  Government  is  not  responsible  for  prop- 
erty destroyed  iu  actual  conflict." 

"  Good  heavens !"  gasped  Jlr.  Hollowbread, 
his  jaw  dropping,  as  if  it  would  fiill  off.  "  Is 
that  so !  I  suppose  I  knew  it,  but  I  had  for- 
gotten it." 

"  But  that  makes  no  difference,  and  it  can't 
be  so,"  put  iu  Josie,  trembling  from  head  to 
foot.  "  Why,  it  has  been  paid  for  once,  only 
nothing  like  enough." 

"It  was  a  blunder,"  said  Bangs.  "How- 
ever— " 

"Docs  Congress  make  blunders  ?"  inter- 
rupted Josie,  with  excitement,  or,  one  might 
say,  with  anger. 


General  Bangs  burst  out  laughing,  and 
even  the  anxious  Hollowbread  smiled. 

"Every  body,  and  every  combination  of 
bodies,  makes  blunders,"  sighed  the  latter. 

"  The  Creator  makes  them,"  added  the 
general.  "  But  Congress  had  no  right  to  or- 
der that  claim  paid.     However — " 

"Exactly,"  said  Hollowbread,  eagerly. 

"What  were  you  going  to  say?"  grinned 
Bangs. 

"  I  may  as  well  say  it.  If  the  actual  con- 
flict status  did  not  impede  payment  in  1820, 
why  should  it  now  ?" 

"  Precisely  so.  Why  should  it?  Of  course 
it  shouldn't.  The  first  payment  legalized 
the  second.  Or  possibly  the  property  was 
destroyed  after  the  battle.  It  can  be  made 
all  right,  Hollowbread." 

"  Oh — can  it  ?"  faltered  Josie,  ready  to  go 
ou  her  knees  to  him.  "  I  should  be  so  grate- 
ful !^oh,  so  grateful !" 

"  Certainh-,  Mrs.  Murray.  Leave  it  all  to 
me.  If  any  help  is  needed,  I  will  let  our 
friend  here  know." 

Theu  there  was  a  short  silence,  during 
which  Bangs  looked  in  twenty  directions,  as 
if  he  wanted  to  go  twenty  ways  at  once. 

"We  will  not  detain  you,  general,"  said 
Hollowbread.  "  I  know,  and  Mrs.  JIurray 
also  knows,  that  your  time  is  precious.  A 
thousand  thanks  for  this  interview." 

"  Good-day,  good-day  !"  rattled  the  great 
partisan,  and  was  off  with  the  speed  of  a 
traveler  who  sees  his  train  starting,  waving 
a  hand  vehemently  to  some  oue  ou  the  other 
side  of  the  rotunda. 

"  I  don't  like  him  at  all,"  said  Josie,  who 
never  fully  liked  such  men  as  Avere  not  wom- 
en's men.  "He  thiuks  of  nothing  but  him- 
self, and  does  every  thing  for  the  sake  of 
himself." 

"  That  is  why  he  is  one  of  the  leaders  of 
the  House,  uo  doubt.  No  pleasure  and  no 
emotion  ever  takes  him  off  his  work.  And 
he  works — amazingly!  Such  energy  and 
such  toughness ! — such  adroitness  and  such 
impudence,  too  !  One  of  the  meanest  of  men, 
and  one  of  the  greatest  of  deuuigogues.  But 
I  must  beg  of  you  not  to  rei)eat  what  I  think 
of  him,  nor  what  you  think  of  him.  He  is 
quite  capable  of  taking  vengeance  for  a  word, 
and  his  good-will  is  essential  to  us." 

"  Then  we  needn't  go  before  the  commit- 
tee at  all  ?"  said  Josie,  disposed  to  fret  over 
that  disappointment. 

"  Not  for  the  present.  Bangs  is  nearly  su- 
preme there.  15y-and-by,  iu  case  some  col- 
league should  rebel  iu  favor  of  his  own  pet 
measures,  ho  may  want  to  use  your  powers 
of  persuasion,  and  thou  ho  will  scud  for  you. 
I  sincerely  hope  that  there  will  bo  no  occa- 
sion." 

"  So  it  goes.  I  am  continually  told  that 
something  is  to  be  done,  and  then  nothing  is 
done." 

Mr.  Hollowbread  might  have  retorted  that 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


105 


it  "^as  not  lio  avIio  Lad  proposed  a  visit  to 
the  Spoliations  Committee.  But  of  course  ho 
was  in  no  mood  to  increase  her  obvious  an- 
noyance, and  he  preferred  to  introduce  some 
placatin<?  j^eneralitics. 

"  Yes,"  ho  sighed,  as  if  he  regretted  very 
much  the  ^vay  things  had  gone.  "Such  is 
Washington,  such  is  Congressional  life  —  a 
perpetual  bubbliug  of  hot  water,  -with  al- 
most nothing  else  in  the  pot.  Of  the  five 
-  hundred  bills  which  were  introduced  at  the 
beginning  of  this  session,  probably  not  fifty, 
and  perhaps  not  ten,  will  pass.  I  believe 
that  if  the  governors  of  the  States  should 
meet  once  ayearfor  a  fortnight,  they  and  the 
Supremo  Court  and  the  departments  could 
transact  all  the  real  business  of  the  conntrj-. 
Congress  used  to  be  a  law-making  body. 
Now  it  is  mainly  an  axe-grinding  body." 

"And  I  have  an  axe  to  grind,"  said  Josie, 
not  a  bit  ashamed  of  the  fact. 

"  Yes,"  returned  Mi\  HoUowbread,  smiling 
down  iipou  her,  as  one  smiles  UY)on  a  naugh- 
ty, jiretty  child,  though  secretly  he  wished 
that  she  would  let  her  axe  alone.  "  Well,  we 
must  do  what  others  do,  or  we  shall  go  with- 
out what  others  get." 

"You  don't  like  my  claim  a  bit," pouted 
Josie. 

"  I  must  like  your  claim — all  your  claims, 
ofevery  sort,"  replied  the  infatuated  old  lov- 
er, putting  down  the  frail  ghost  of  honesty 
in  his  soul.  "I  do  like  it,  and  will  support 
it.  You  must  know,  Mrs  Murray,  that  I  am 
devoted — " 

"Oh,  I  believe  in  you,  Mr.  HoUowbread," 
interrupted  Josie,  fearful  lest  ho  should  re- 
commence "  popping."  "  I  am  sure  that  you 
are  a  true  friend.  But  this  talk  about  the 
amount  of  Inisiness,  with  the  confusion  in  it 
and  the  failures,  is  discouraging.  I  want  all 
the  while  to  be  doing  something  and  to  see 
some  result.  Isn't  there  some  wire  which  I 
can  pull  ?  Can't  I  lay  pipe,  as  people  say, 
in  the  Senate  ?  Suppose,  now,  my  bill  should 
go  through  the  House,  and  then  be  defeated 
iu  the  Senate  for  lack  of  a  word  said  before- 
hand ?  Why  not  interview  some  high  and 
mighty  conscript  father  ?  There  is  the  im- 
mense and  sublime  Mr.  Ledyard,for  instance. 
I  know  his  daughter." 

HoUowbread  smiled  at  the  idea  of  influ- 
encing Mr.  Ledyard  through  his  female  con- 
nections ;  it  was  such  a  truly  womanlike 
notion,  as  he  thought,  that  he  could  not  help 
being  amused  by  it. 

"  Senator  Ledyard  is  always  occupied  with 
national  questions,"  ho  stated.  "  I  don't  be- 
lieve he  ever  touched  a  private  bill  iu  the 
whole  course  of  his  Congressional  experi- 
ence." 

"What  a  selfish  wretch!" laughed  Josie, 
intellectually  in  jest,  but  emotionally  in  ear- 
nest. "Well,  there  is  Senator  Ironman.  I 
have  met  liira  several  times,  and  I  know  Mrs. 
Ironman  well." 


"  It  would  bo  more  to  the  purpose  to  know 
Mrs.  John  Vane,"  objected  HoUowbread. 

"  I  despise  her,"  declared  Josie. 

And  despise  her  she  did,  not  merely  be- 
cause of  the  scandal  which  had  bccMi  ;dliulcd 
to,  but  chiefly  l)ecausc  Olynipia  Vane  pre- 
tended to  rival  her  as  a  queen  of  Washing- 
ton society,  and  seemed  to  her  coarsely  and 
stupidly  unworthy  of  the  pretension. 

"I  am  glad  you  do,"  bowed  HoUowbread, 
not  guessing  the  chief  motive  of  her  con- 
tempt, and  regarding  it  as  a  sign  of  soul  pu- 
rity: a  delightful  thing  for  love-lorn  man  to 
find  in  the  object  of  his  affections,  no  matter 
how  evil  that  man  may  have  been  before  ho 
was  love-lorn. 

"But  I  think  I  had  better  go  after  Seua.- 
tor  Ironman,"  was  Mrs.  Murray's  very  next 
observation. 

And  go  after  him  she  did ;  for  it  was  ia 
her  character  to  be  persevering  and  master- 
ful, as  well  as  amiable;  and  bewitched  Mr. 
HoUowbread  was,  of  course,  a  mere  tool  iu 
her  puissant  little  fingers.  But  lirst,  and 
while  they  were  on  their  way  to  the  Senate 
wing,  they  had  another  adventure. 

Passing  an  oi)en  door,  this  feminine  Dou 
Quixote  inquired  what  lovely  apartment  that 
might  be,  and  jioor  Sancho  Panza  HoUow- 
bread could  not  help  admitting  that  it  was 
the  committee-room  of  the  honorable  gentle- 
men on  Spoliations. 

"And  there  is  General  Hornblower,"  she 
whispered,  gently  forcing  her  victim  to  ea- 
ter.    "  Do  present  me." 

So  HoUowbread  had  to  pronounce  a  form 
of  introduction  over  that  suave  chieftain, 
when  he  would  have  found  a  truer  joy  in  de- 
votiug  him  to  the  infernal  gods. 

General  F.  G.  Hornblower  was  another  of 
those  martial  civilians  who  leaped  from  the 
platform  of  the  popular  orator  into  the  stir- 
rups of  the  general,  and  whose  strategy  and 
tactics  lent  to  the  solemn  tragedy  of  our  civ- 
il war  a  few  scenes  of  farce,  alas!  dearly  paid 
for. 

Yet  little  beyond  military  ignorance  and 
incapacity  can  be  alleged  against  him.  Prob- 
ably he  had  his  staff  of  newsi)aper  correspond- 
ents, and  saw  to  it  that  they  sounded  his 
praises  through  their  organs.  But  at  least 
he  did  not  snuff' the  battle  afar  oft',  after  the 
fashion  of  the  discreetly  v.alorous  Bangs. 

These  eyes  have  seen  him  on  the  battle- 
field, sitting  up  grandly  in  his  saddle  among 
screaming,  cracking  sliot,  and  speaking  in 
magniloquent  bass  such  orders  as  he  knew. 

Ho  would  have  made  a  good  soldier,  .t, 
good  captain,  or  a  good  colonel ;  but  when 
more  was  demanded  of  him,  the  material 
thereof  was  lacking.  Doubtless  it  was  not 
his  fault  that  he  was  not  a  Cromwell,  able 
to  know  war  after  slight  experience  and  by 
the  light  of  nature. 

But  it  was  our  misfortune.  Alas!  we  had 
many  such  calamities.     How  often  were  we 


106 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


beateu  by  commauders  commissioned  to  beat 
our  enemies !  It  was  too  mucli  for  troops 
when  botb  their  own  leaders  and  those  of 
the  foe  combined  to  outmauoeuTre  them. 

There  was  a  long  conversation  between 
General  Hornblower  and  Josephine  Murray ; 
but  it  ran  chiefly,  indeed  almost  entirely, 
upon  matters  which  she  had  not  come  there 
to  talk  about. 

He  was  mellifluous  in  voice,  bland  in  dis- 
course, suave  in  manner,  and,  on  the  whole, 
agreeable.  But  he  would  not  discuss  the 
claim;  he  bowed  it  away,  and  waved  it 
away,  and  smiled  it  away ;  however  often  it 
was  brought  before  him,  he  gently  got  rid 
of  it.  General  Bangs  had  taken  charge  of 
it,  he  was  understood  to  suggest,  and  in 
Bangs's  potent  hands  it  would  be  advisable 
to  leave  it.  Once,  indeed,  he  so  far  commit- 
ted himself  as  to  hint  that  it  was  a  very  old 
claim ;  but  ho  immediately  added,  with  a 
smile,  that "  auld  lang  syne  and  the  glorious 
deeds  of  eld  must  not  be  forgot."  In  short, 
it  was  a  diplomatic,  evasive,  inconclusive, 
unsatisfactory  interview.  ^Yhen  Josie  at 
last  left  the  room,  trembling  with  the  fa- 
tigue of  ausious  labor,  and  flushed  with  a 
suspicion  that  she  had  made  no  progress, 
she  tried  to  cheer  herself  by  whispering  to 
Hollowbread : 

"Did  you  see?  He  had  not  noticed  that 
the  barn  was  burned  iu  actual  conflict.  I 
am  so  glad !" 

"I  don't  suppose  he  has  looked  at  the 
papers  yet,"  returned  the  Congressman,  who 
hated  this  whole  business,  and  could  not  en- 
tirely conceal  his  hate. 

"  Oh,  how  discouraging  you  are !"  fretted 
Josie.    "  Why  can't  you  say  something  nice  ?"' 

"  My  dear  friend,  it  is  events  and  circum- 
stances which  are  discouraging,  and  not  I. 
We  had  surely  better  not  deceive  ourselves." 

"  I  would  rather  be  deceived,"  she  half 
sighed,  half  laughed.  "What  I  want  is  to 
hope  and  bo  happy." 

"And  now  do  you  care  to  look  up  Iron- 
man  ?"  he  asked,  seeing  that  she  was  some- 
what dismayed  and  wearied,  and  trusting 
that  she  would  desire  no  more  interviews. 

Josie  drew  a  long  breath  to  repi-ess  a  slight 
tendency  toward  a  sob ;  then  she  rallied  all 
the  strength  and  courage  that  were  left  in 
her  soul,  and  answered,  "  Yes." 


CHAPTER  XXXI. 

AX  EXPOSURE. 

JosiE  and  Mr.  Hollowbread  discovered 
Senator  Ironman  in  his  committee  -  room  ; 
but  unluckily  that  admirer  of  all  the  hand- 
some women  in  Washington  was  just  then 
giving  audience  to  Mrs.  John  Vane,  whom 
he  justly  considered  one  of  the  handsomest ; 
and  furthermore  they  beheld  ScLuiro  Nancy 


Appleyard  lingering  about  the  doors,  as  if 
awaiting  her  turn  for  admission. 

"I  am  not  used  to  such  low  company  as  I 
meet  in  the  capital  of  my  country,"  scornful- 
ly smiled  Mrs.  Murray,  as  she  wheeled  away. 
"  Couldn't  you  jiass  a  law  which  should  keep 
out  at  least  such  women  as  wear  panta- 
loons ?" 

"They  are  the  least  bewildering  of  all,"  an- 
swered Hollowbread,  also  smiling,  but  with 
a  disposition  to  sigh,  for  he  had  a  sense  that 
he  had  himself  been  woefully  bewitched  by 
feminine  enchantments. 

Josie  made  no  answer  to  this  speech,  and 
probably  did  not  hear  it. 

At  that  moment  she  caught  sight  of  bus- 
tling, strutting,  noisy  General  Bangs,  en- 
gaged in  conversation  with  another  tall  and 
gaunt  gentleman,  but  of  very  different  and 
nmch  nobler  aspect,  who  was  no  other  than 
Colonel  Murray. 

"Let  us  get  out  of  here,"  she  whispered. 
"  What  can  that  hateful  creature  be  gabbling 
about  to  my  uncle  ?  I  hope  it  is  not  my 
business.  Did  you  tell  him  not  to  mention 
it  to  the  Murrays  ?  Oh,  you  ought  to  have 
told  him.  I  don't  want  them  to  guess;  I 
want  to  surprise  them." 

"  Yes — naturally,"  puffed  and  sighed  Mr. 
Hollowbread,  as  they  hitrried  away. 

Speed  and  stairways  necessarily  worry  a 
stout  gentleman  who  wears  a  tight  surcin- 
gle, and,  moreover,  this  skulking  evasion 
made  him  feel  undignified,  shamefaced,  and 
guilty,  and  finally  he  remembered  that  he 
had  himself  blabbed  the  business  to  Colonel 
Murray.  However,  after  they  had  got  out  of 
the  Capitol  unseen,  Josie  clieered  him  with 
a  triumphant  little  burst  of  merriment.  It 
seemed  to  him,  when  this  pretty  creature 
giggled  and  sparkled  her  bright  eyes  in  his 
face,  as  if  there  were  no  distinction  between 
right  and  wrong,  between  honor  and  dis- 
grace. 

Having  thus  confounded  all  his  moral 
notions  for  him,  she  sent  him  back  to  legis- 
late for  our  beloved  country,  while  she  be- 
took herself  light  -  heartedly  to  shopping. 
That  evening  she  was  to  dine  at  Mr.  Bank- 
er Allchin's,  and  Mrs.  John  Vane.M'as  to  bo 
there  also.  Now  Josie  fervently  desired  to 
eclipse,  crush,  and  dethrone  that  queen  of 
society,  and  she  believed  that  to  do  it  sho 
must  have  a  fresh  outfit  of  small  decora- 
tions. Hence  the  shopping  tour,  the  eager- 
ness, the  gayety,  and  the  sudden  forgetful- 
ness  of  all  trouble  and  evil. 

The  dinner  took  place,  and  was  sumptu- 
ous. Our  heroine  held  revelry  between  Sen- 
ator Iroiunan  and  the  honorable  Smyler,  and 
outshone  with  tlie  greatest  case  her  somc- 
wliat  uncultured  rival.  Bat  the  repast  was 
amply  rcporte<l  iu  the  Nfwsmon()cr,  and  wo 
will  not  attempt  to  outdo  the  city  editor. 

During  the  evening  Colonel  Murray  drop- 
l^ed  iu  upou  the  rector  and  wife.     If  ho  know 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


107 


of  auglit  ■wliich  displeased  him,  the  fixct  did 
not  appear  on  his  serene  old  visaj^o.  lie 
carried  his  lonjij  nose  in  the  air,  and  looked 
glassily  tlirongh  his  largo  spectacles,  and 
smiled  in  his  deliberate  speech  just  as  usual. 
A  tried  soldier,  and  possessed  of  that  im- 
portant soldierly  characteristic,  an  even  tem- 
per, ho  habitually  endured  Avorrics  ■with 
tranquillity.  No  one  could  have  inferred 
from  his  manner  that  he  had  heard  all  about 
Josie's  swindling  claim,  and  vras  excecdiug- 
ly  grieved  and  vexed  becanso  of  it. 

Tlio  two  brothers  were  soon  bnclcing  and 
buttiug  at  each  other  over  the  questions  of 
physical  science  as  contentedly  as  if  there 
were  no  other  cause  of  acrimony  iu  the 
world.  Wo  have  not  si)ace  to  narrate  the 
sublime  couibat  iu  full,  but  "we  must  posi- 
tively describe  the  final  rush  of  the  gallant 
colonel. 

"Once  moro  let  mo  recall  your  obligations 
to  science,"  he  said.  "  Just  consider  how 
much  the  theologian  has  learned  concerning 
the  greatness  of  creation — consequently  con- 
cerning the  greatness  of  the  Creator,  from  the 
astronomer  and  the  naturalist.  Remember 
Galileo,  Kepler,  Newton,  and  Laplace;  re- 
member the  thousands  of  worlds  which  yon 
know  of,  and  which  the  fathers  knew  not  of; 
remember  the  microscopic  revelations  also, 
as  well  as  the  telescopic  ones ;  then  say  that 
the  scientist  has  taught  you  nothing  about 
God.  Why,  he  might  fairly  address  yon  cler- 
gymen as  Paul  addressed  the  Atlienians : 
'  Whom,  therefore,  ye  iguorautly  worship,  him 
declare  I  unto  j'ou.' " 

Twenty  minutes  of  discussion  had  already 
fired  up  the  rector  to  the  boiling-point. 
Moreover,  he  was  not  a  logical  man,  but,  on 
the  contrary,  an  unfair-minded  and  preju- 
diced one,  just  iu  proportion  as  he  was  warm- 
liearted.  Consequently  he  replied  antago- 
nistically, showing  no  gratitude  at  all  toward 
science,  but  rather  mediteval  contempt  for 
the  same. 

''Brother  Julian,  let  me  tell  you  a  little 
story,"  he  began,  Avith  a  scoffing  smile,  as  of 
one  who  instructs  a  i>erverse  inferior. 

"  Oh  yes — one  of  j'our  apologues,  I  suppose 
— one  of  your  i)arables,"  sniffed  the  colonel. 

"  There  was  once  a  good  missionary,"  pur- 
sued the  rector.  "He  lived  in  the  dark, 
foolish  old  times  when  men  knew  A-ery  lit- 
tle, and  merely  had  faith — an  humble  faith. 
He  went  out  from  his  homo  to  correct  a 
heathen  people,  a  sea-fiiring  and  piratical 
people,  perhaps  the  Northmen.  Well,  these 
heathen  pirates  took  him  in  their  ships  all 
round  the  Avorld,  and  showed  him  how  nmch 
bigger  it  was  than  he  had  supposed.  Tlien 
they  called  upon  him  to  adore  the  attraction 
of  gravitation  and  abjure  his  blessed  Saviour. 
It  is  my  belief  that  tlic  silly  good  man  re- 
fused to  gratify  them." 

"Oh,  pshaw!"  answered  the  colonel,  in- 
dignantly.    "  There  you  go  again  with  your 


asstnnptions  that  scientists  look  up  to  na- 
ture, and  not  to  nature's  God." 

"  And  so  they  do,"  asseverated  the  clergy- 
man, his  blood  boiling  higher  and  higher  all 
tho  Avhilo.  "  You  do  yourself,  Julian,  as  I 
fear.  I  am  really  afraid  you  do.  I  believe 
you  do." 

"  Don't,  Mr.  ^lurray!"  put  in  tho  Avife, 
noting  these  repetitions, the  heightened  col- 
or, and  other  signs  of  agitation.  "Yon  will 
certainly  send  tho  blood  to  your  head.  Now, 
do  vot  get  so  excited !" 

"  Well,  well,  then  I  must  quit  the  subject," 
stammered  the  rector.  "  I  can  not  talk 
about  it  patiently — I  can  not." 

"  Let  us  droi)  it,  then,"  said  the  colonel, 
with  a  sigh. 

He  really  cared  about  the  matter.  In  his 
old  ago  he  had  come  to  be  aware  of  science, 
and  to  make  a  pet  of  it ;  and  he  had  some- 
thing like  a  iiious  desire  to  reconcile  all  men 
to  its  teachings. 

"  By-the-way,  I  came  around  to  speak  of 
something  else,"  he  added.  "  It  is  an  aft'air 
Avhich  requires  your  instant  attention,  if  you 
are  not  too  tired." 

Both  the  rector  and  Mrs.  Murray  pricked 
up  their  gossii^ -loving  ears  and  asked,  ea- 
gerly, 

"  What  is  it  ?     What  is  it  ?" 

"The  old  story  of  the  claim  again.  You 
remember,  a  Congressman  spoke  to  me  about 
it — a  claim  for  a  burned  barn." 

"  Yes  —  yes  —  exactly.  What  is  it  ?"  in- 
quired the  old  lady,  all  eyes  excei)t  what 
was  ears. 

The  colonel  went  on  to  explain  that  Gen- 
eral Bangs  had  been  at  him  that  morning 
about  this  baru-burning  business. 

"  Howling  and  bawling  in  my  ear,"  the 
old  soldier  put  it,  indignantly,  "  and  making 
a  disagreeable  coyote  of  himself." 

In  short.  Bangs  had  informed  him  that 
Mrs.  Murray,  Junior,  had  a  claim  before  tho 
Spoliation  Committee  to  tho  amount  of  a 
hundred  thousand  dollars,  moro  or  less. 

"  Horrible !"  exclaimed  tho  ReA^erend  John 
Murray,  his  pure  and  sensitive  sonl  sending 
tremors  of  indignation  through  his  weak, 
bloated  physical  part. 

"  Horrible !"  echoed  Mrs.  Murray,  begin- 
ning to  xmderstand  that  here  was  something 
to  be  wretched  about,  instead  of  merely  a 
lively  item  for  her  diary. 

"It  is  a  shameful  intrigue,"  pursued  the 
colonel.  "  If  it  is  carried  througii,  it  Avill  be 
a  disgrace  to  tho  family,  a  disgrace  to  each 
one  of  us.  I  can  not  stand  it.  I  can  not 
stand  being  blackened  by  other  people,  after 
the  Avhite  man's  life  that  I  have  led.  I  have 
always  respected  Government  money.  I 
have  held  it  as  a  sacred  trust.  At  least  a 
million  of  it  has  passed  through  my  hands 
first  and  last,  and  I  have  never  stolen  a  dol- 
lar of  it,  never  misappropriated  a  dollar,  as  I 
hope  and  believe.     If  CA-er  a  shilling  has 


103 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


been  lacking  in  my  accounts,  I  have  always 
taken  that  shilling  out  of  my  own  pocket  and 
put  it  iuto  the  public  chest.  I  tell  you, 
John,  that  I  would  as  soon  have  turned  my 
back  on  the  battle-tield  as  have  wronged  the 
United  States  out  of  one  penny.  It  is  part 
of  a  soldier's  religion,  this  feeling  is.  It  is 
our  eleventh  commandment.  And  here  I 
have  got  to  bear  more  or  less  of  the  stigma 
of  this  swindle." 

The  old  officer  spoke  with  an  emotion 
which  in  one  of  his  habitual  dignity  and 
calmness  was  pathetic.  In  response,  the  rec- 
tor nodded  solemnly.  Official  integrity  was 
not  in  his  view  as  necessary  to  salvation  as 
doctrinal  correctness;  but  though  it  was 
hardly  godliuess,  and  certainly  not  ortho- 
doxy, he  held  it  in  high  respect. 

"  It  is  awful,  Julian,"  he  murmured.  "  It  is 
hard  upon  you,  and  it  is  hard  upon  all  of  us." 
"A  swindling  claim — by  a  Murray !"  cried 
the  colonel,  his  usually  pallid  old  face  (once 
very  blonde)  crimsoning  with  shame  and 
■wrath.  "A  hundred  thousand  dollars  of 
Government  money  for  a  worthless  old  barn 
which  had  been  paid  for  once!  It  is  per- 
fectly tremendous.  I  was  absolutely  stupe- 
fied. As  soon  as  I  could  collect  myself,  I 
told  Bangs  that  I  disapproved  of  it  with 
all  my  soul,  and  should  oppose  it  by  every 
means  in  my  power.  You  may  imagine  the 
amazement  of  the  low,  humbugging  black- 
leg. 'Why,'  said  he,  'it  will  be  a  fortune 
thrown  into  your  family;  it  will  take  this 
expensive  little  lady  ofl"  your  hands.'  And 
he  is  a  legislator  of  the  United  States !  has 
charge  of  money  wrung  from  the  American 
people !  has  taken  an  oath  to  do  honestly 
and  legally  and  purely.  He  ought  to  be  in 
a  common  jail  for  conspiracy  and  perjury. 
I  had  the  greatest  mind  to  slap  his  impu- 
dent, leering  face.  I  tell  you,  John,  that 
the  duel  went  out  too  soon.  We  need  it  in 
these  very  days  to  purify  our  political  life. 
Honest  men  ought  to  have  a  chance  to  shoot 
the  scoundrels  who  rob  and  disgrace  them." 
"  Thank  God,  there  is  a  hell !"  murmured 
the  rector.  "  '  Vengeance  is  mine  ;  I  will 
repay,  saith  the  Lord.'  " 

"i  will  repay,"  echoed  Mrs.  Murray,  say- 
ing litany  rather  inappropriately.  The 
truth  is,  that  she  was  confounded,  not 
merely  by  the  tale  of  this  wretched  in- 
trigue, but  also  by  the  fear  of  losing  a  high- 
ly valued  plaything.  Notwithstanding  that 
josio  was  out  too  much,  and  showed  too 
great  a  fondness  for  the  society  of  uncerti- 
fied gentlemen,  the  old  lady  set  great  store 
by  her,  and  might  even  be  said  to  love  her. 

"  Thank  God,  she  is  not  a  Murray  !"  pur- 
sued the  colonel.  "There  is  no  Murray 
blood  in  her  veins." 

"  Perhaps  she  is  not  altogether  in  fault," 
answered  the  clergyman.  He  had  caught  a 
troubled  glance  from  his  wife,  and  had  sud- 
denly remembered  how  useful  Josie  was  in 


amusing  her,  and,  so  to  speak,  in  cheering 
her  venerable  soul  to  remain  in  its  body. 
"  There  may  be  some  one  else  at  the  bottom 
of  this,"  he  added,  hoping  that  it  might 
be  so. 

"  Mrs.  Warden,"  suggested  Mrs.  Murray, 
eagerly.  "  She  is  a  claim-hunter.  I  wish 
Josie  wasn't  so  intimate  with  her.  But  you 
permit  it,  Mr.  Murray,  and  you  are  friend- 
ly to  Mrs.  Warden  yourself;  you  know  you 
are !" 

"  She  is  a  member  of  my  church,"  pleaded 
Mr.  Murray.  "  I  can  not  cast  her  off,  unless 
she  falls  into  danmable  sin  and  heresy.  Be- 
sides, she  is  a  silly,  flighty,  feather-headed 
creature,  an  object  of  pity.  And  there  is  her 
daughter,  a  worthy  and  lovely  young  wom- 
an, what  I  call  a  pious  soul  by  birthright. 
She  bears  her  mother  on  her  back.  For  the 
sake  of  the  iEneas,  I  can't  shut  my  door  on 
the  Anchises." 

"  Yes,  Belle  is  a  noble  girl,"  said  the  col- 
onel. "  She  is  fit  to  belong  to  the  regular 
army.  She  is  an  officer  and  a  gentleman. 
Moreover,  as  for  Mrs.  Warden  herself,  I  ques- 
tion whether  she  would  care  to  stir  up  and 
push  on  rival  claims.  There  are  other  peo- 
ple who  do  that;  there  are  peoiile  whose 
profession  it  is;  there  are  people  who  live 
by  the  dirty  trade.  Probably  there  are  a 
hundred  men  iu  and  about  Congress  who 
thi-ivo  by  inventing  claims,  engineering 
them,  and  sharing  the  loot.  Some  of  these 
fellows  may  be  responsible  for  our  little 
lady's  naughtiness.  But  all  the  same  wo 
must  stop  it." 

"  Of  course  we  must,"  coincided  the  rec- 
tor ;  and  even  Mrs.  Murray  echoed,  "  Of 
course  we  must." 

"  We  have  had  godly  ancestors  and  a  de- 
cent race  thus  f;\r,"  pursued  tiie  clergyman. 
"The  only  blot  on  our  history,  which  I 
know  of,  is  that  first  claim  for  this  accursed 
barn  ;  and  that,  so  far  as  I  can  learn,  was 
made  by  a  trustee,  and  not  by  a  Murray.  I 
insist  that  the  honor  of  our  family  never  had 
a  stain  upon  it.  And  I  will  have  no  stain 
now.  We  must  induce  Josephine  to  forego 
this  business.  I  would  rather  give  her  fifty 
thousand  dollars  out  of  my  own  pocket  than 
have  her  jn-oceed  with  it." 

Then  ho  remembered  that  the  great  mass 
of  his  wealth  lay  iu  that  undivided  estate 
which  had  been  the  support  and  the  pride  of 
the  Murray  race,  and  which  had,  no  doubt, 
done  much  toward  preserving  it  from  all 
taint  of  low  greed  or  of  dishonesty.  Such 
moderate  capital  as  he  possessed  outside  of 
this  charmed  treasure  was  all  willed  to  his 
wife;  and  nothing  on  earth,  in  his  opinion, 
could  justify  him  in  altcriijg  one  word  of 
that  sacred  testamont. 

"  No,  I  can  not  do  that,"  ho  said.  "  But, 
if  Iluldah  is  willing,  we  can  give  something. 
We  might,  perhaps,  spare  ten  thousand  dol- 
lars." 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


109 


Mrs.  MuiTfiy  nodded.  It  was  not  a  cheer- 
ful assent,  for  she  valued  money  highly,  as 
do  most  old  and  feeble  people.  Neverthe- 
less, she  did  assent. 

"I  will  double  the  sum,"  offered  the  col- 
onel. 

"  Hut  first  vco  ought  to  talk  to  her,"  sug- 
gested the  lady,  possibly  hoping  that  the 
money  might  bo  saved.  "  Somebodj-  ought 
to  tell  her  how  wc  feel  about  this  thing.  I 
am  sure  she  ^YOuld  be  reasonable  if  she  only 
knew  how"  wo  feel.  She  is  so  pleasant !  so 
amiable  and  cheerful — and  amusing!"  con- 
cluded Mrs.  ^Mnrray,  yearning  over  her  fa- 
vorite and  her  funds  together. 

"  Certainly  she  will  be  reasonable,"  de- 
clared tlie  rector,  touched  to  the  marrow  by 
a  pathetic  tremor  in  his  wife's  ntterance, 
and  eager  as  always  to  spare  her  the  small- 
est worry.  "I  will  speak  to  her  myself," 
added  this  chicken-hearted  hero,  wondering 
the  while  whether  he  wonld  get  the  best  of 
the  interview  or  the  second  best.  "Don't 
be  in  the  least  troubled,  Huldah.  I  shall  bo 
hrm  with  her,  but  I  shall  bo  mild.  She  7nust 
be  spoken  to.  We  can't  have  this  kind  of 
thing  going  on.  It  disgraces  our  family, 
and  it  disturbs  ijou.  I  must  and  will  stop  it. 
But  I  will  be  gentle  with  her." 

"  You  are  so  harsh,  Mr.  Murray,"  replied 
the  old  ladj-,  who  believed  in  his  timorous 
threats,  as  a  right-minded  goose  believes  in 
the  hissing  and  flapping  of  her  gander. 

*'I  am  afraid,  John,  that  you  will  find  it 
a  hard  job  to  bell  the  cat,"  suggested  Col- 
onel Murray,  well  aware  of  his  brother's  non- 
combativeness.  "  I  know  that  she  is  a  sly 
little  pu.ss,  and  I  su.spect  that  she  has  claws, 
notwithstanding  her  nice  purring.  Had  not 
I  better  be  your  aid-de-camp,  and  deliver 
your  message  ?" 

But  this  proposition  frightened  Jlrs.  Mur- 
ray, who  knew  that  the  old  soldier  always 
did  his  duty  like  one  under  oath,  and  who 
even  stood  herself  in  some  awe  of  him.  She 
turned  to  her  husband  with  a  nervous  jerk 
and  a  glance  of  alarm,  which  caused  him  to 
object  at  once. 

'•  Leave  it  to  me,  Julian,"  he  said,  lifting 
himself  slowly  out  of  his  arm-chair,  and  bal- 
ancing his  portly  form  on  his  tender  feet,  as 
formidable  as  a  milled  heu.  "  I  am  able  for 
her,  God  willing." 

"  I  do  think  Mr.  Murray  had  better  attend 
to  it,"  urged  Mrs.  Murray,  turning  her  eyes 
imploringly  upon  the  colonel. 

"  Very  well,  Huldah,"  nodded  tlie  latter, 
always  considerate  to  the  old  lady,  as  he  pri- 
vately called  her. 

And,  with  this  understanding,  that  Eector 
Murray  should  head  oii'  our  sly  and  perse- 
vering little  claimant,  the  interview  came 
to  an  end. 

Leaving  thehouse.  Colonel  Murray  chanced 
upon  Bradford  in  the  street,  aud  held  with 
him  a  dialogue  worth  noticing. 


"  Have  you  known  any  thing,  major,"  ho 
inquired,  "of  a  claim  which  my  niece  by 
marriage,  Mrs.  Augustus  Murray,  is  trying 
to  pnsli  tlnough  Congress?" 

"  I  have  known  of  it,"  confessed  tlie  young 
man,  beginning  to  coh)r.  "  I  have  not  aided 
it,  but  I  was  aware  of  it." 

"Then  I  nnist  say,  major,  that  you  have 
not  done  a  frieiully  thing  in  failing  to  reveal 
it  to  me,"  declared  the  old  officer  and  gentle- 
man, in  grave  di.spleasure. 

"  I  admit  it,  colonel,"  bowed  Bradford, 
once,  bo  it  remembered,  a  staff- officer  of 
Murray's.  "I  see  it  distinctly, now  that  you 
speak  of  it.     I  sincerely  beg  your  i)ardon." 

The  colonel  bowed,  lifted  his  hat  with  sol- 
emn courtesy,  hesitated  a  moment,  and  theu 
said,  gently,  "  We  all  make  our  mistakes." 

However,  he  could  talk  no  more  about  it ; 
ho  added  a  dry  "Good-evening,"  aud  walk- 
ed away. 

Bradford  went  to  his  rooms  in  low  spii-its, 
and  never  rested  until  he  had  written  his 
former  chief  a  letter  of  apology,  with  such 
explanations  as  he  could  add  without  at- 
tacking his  former  sweetheart.  It  was  ono 
of  the  best  signs  in  this  problematical  char- 
acter that  he  should  set  so  much  store  by 
the  good -will  aud  good  opinion  of  such  a 
spotless  gentleman  as  Colonel  Murray. 


CILIPTER  XXXIL 

REPROOF   OX  REPROOF. 

Supported  by  his  wife,  or,  rather,  encum- 
bered and  trammeled  by  that  venerable  dar- 
ling, the  Reverend  Jobn  Murray  actually 
brought  Josio  to  book  about  her  claim,  and, 
as  he  subsequently  misrepresented  the  mat- 
ter to  the  colonel,  gave  her  a  severe  lecture. 

"  We  can  not  stand  it,  indeed  we  can  not," 
ho  said,  trembling  a  little  the  while,  partly 
through  fear  of  a  retort,  partly  through  fcar 
of  scaring  Huldah,  and  partly  through  fear 
of  sending  the  blood  to  his  own  head.  "A 
hundred  thousand  dollars  for  an  old  bam!" 

"  For  an  old  barn !"  repeated  Mrs.  Murray. 

"There  never  was  such  a  barn  on  this 
continent  or  in  this  universe.  The  claim  is 
monstrous." 

"Oh,  that  is  a  mere  form,  uncle,"  urged 
Josie,  eager  to  make  things  pleasant,  and  not 
caring  how  she  did  it.  "That  is  the  way 
these  suits  are  always  managed.  You  ask 
a  hundred  thousand  dollars,  aud  you  get  two 
thousand." 

"  I  know — I  know,"  stumbled  on  the  rec- 
tor, also  anxious  to  avoid  a  contest,  but 
trusting  that  he  might  have  his  will  with- 
out one.  "  You  do  as  other  people  do — some 
other  i)eople.  Of  course  you  will  hardly  get 
any  thing ;  you  probably  won't  get  even  two 
thousand  dollars ;  uo,  you  won't  get  a  cent 
— not  a  cent." 


110 


PLlYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


"  Not  a  cent !" — from  Mrs.  Murray. 

"  Why,  the  old  ranisbackle  affair  was  burn- 
ed sixty  years  ago !" 

"  Sixty  years  ago!"  litanied  Mrs.  Murray. 

"I  don't  suppose  it  was  really  worth  a 
thousand,  to  begin  with,  and  it  has  been 
paid  for  once  by  the  Government." 

"By  the  Government,"  responded  Mrs. 
Murray,  keeping  up  with  him. 

"  Yes,  paid  for  twice  over.  The  Govern- 
ment paid,  you  know,  two  thousand  dollars." 

"  Thousand  dollars,"  mumbled  Mrs.  Mur- 
ray, showing  signs  of  fatigue. 

"And  that,  too,  included  interest  and 
every  thing." 

"And  every  thing,"  added  Mrs.  Murray, 
by  this  time  nearly  out  of  breath,  both  in 
mind  and  body. 

"And  that  ends  the  whole  business." 

"Business!"  gasped  Mrs.  Murray,  begin- 
ning to  drop  behind  hopelessly. 

"At  least,  so  any  honest  man  would  say," 
the  rector  ventured  to  conclude,  with  a  se- 
verity which  astonished  himself. 

They  had  anticipated  that  Josie  would 
get  angry  under  rejiroof ;  that,  if  .she  did 
not  scold  back  in  some  dreadful  fashion,  she 
would  at  least  sulk  ;  that  in  one  way  or  an- 
other she  would  make  the  interview  an  un- 
pleasant one. 

But  she  received  her  punishment  with 
such  graciousness  that  they  were  instantly 
'not  far  from  ready  to  praise  her  for  having 
deserved  it.  It  will  be  remembered  that 
she  was  strangely  sweet-tempered,  more  so 
thau  most  good  people.  Perhaps  it  was 
because  she  had  no  fixed  principles,  and 
very  few  strong  likings  ordislikings,  so  that 
contradiction  neither  roused  her  conscience 
nor  galled  her  emotions.  Perhaps  it  was 
because  she  had  practical  sagacity  enough 
to  be  contented  with  working  to  have  her 
■way,  without  uttering  that  unwise  note  of 
warning,  that  declaration  of  war,  "  I  will." 

"  I  dare  say  I  have  been  silly  or  wrong," 
she  said.  "I  can't  find  out  what  is  right 
and  what  is  wrong.  One  great  statesman 
tells  me  one  thing,  and  another  great  states- 
man tells  me  another.  How  can  you  blame 
a  woman  for  not  knowing  what  to  do,  and 
for,  perhaps,  doing  the  wrong  thing?" 

It  must  not  be  supposed  that  she  was 
thinking  calmly  and  talking  at  her  ease. 
She  had  been  startled;  she  was  afraid  that 
her  claim  might  even  yet  be  wrested  out  of 
her  hands ;  and  consequently  she  spoke  in 
real  confusion  of  mind,  and  with  a  stammer- 
ing tongue.  If  she  liad  shown  ability  thus 
far,  it  was  by  sheer  dint  of  hasty  instinct. 

"  Of  course  —  of  course,"  answered  the 
rector,  smiling  and  rubbing  his  swollen  hands 
amicably.  "There  are  all  sorts  of  confused 
and  confounding  voices  in  this  Sodom." 

"  This  Sodom !"  emphasized  Mrs.  Murray, 
who  had  had  time  to  catch  up. 

"  They  remind  one  of  the  uncertain  and 


blasphemous  whispers  that  Christian  heard 
rising  from  the  mouth  of  the  pit." 

"  From  the  mouth  of  the  pit,"  giggled  Mrs. 
Murray,  pleased  with  what  seemed  to  her 
her  own  satire. 

"  In  such  a  trouble  you  should  look  around 
you  for  Greatheart.  I  am  not  much  of  a 
Greatheart,"  he  confessed,  with  a  modest 
laugh;  "but  I  could  have  told  you  not  to 
go  into  this  kind  of  adventure.  I  am  coun- 
selor enough  for  that." 

"  Yes,  Mr.  Murray  is  counselor  enough  for 
that,"  confirmed  Aunt  Huldah,  compressing 
her  wrinkled  lips  with  an  air  of  great  streu- 
uousness. 

"  But  why  shouldn't  I  go  into  it.  Uncle 
John  ?"  asked  Josie,  in  a  tone  of  child-like 
and  confiding  simplicity.  "  If  this  claim  is 
a  just  one,  then  the  Government  really  owes 
me  the  money,  and  ought  in  honor  to  pay  it, 
and  I  am  right  in  demanding  it." 

The  rector  stared ;  he  had  not  fully  con- 
vinced her,  then ;  he  must  recommence  his 
argument. 

"i/","  he  said — "if  is  a  great  word!  If 
there  were  no  hell,  sinners  would  have  no 
occasion  to  tremble." 

"  No  occasion  to  tremble,"  reverberated 
Mrs.  Murray. 

"  If  your  claim  was  just,  it  would  be  right 
to  push  it,  though  not  magnanimous,"  con- 
tinued the  clergj^man,  much  supported  by 
these  responses.  "But  is  it  just  ?  I  would 
not  trust  my  own  judgment  in  the  matter," 
he  declared,  although  he  certainly  would 
have  trusted  it.  "  But  Brother  Julian  has 
looked  into  this  wretched  business,  and  his 
opinion  can  be  depended  upon.  He  says 
the  barn  never  was  worth  any  thing,  to  be- 
gin with."  The  rector,  be  it  recollected,  was 
a  little  given  to  exaggeration,  sometimes  ■ 
humorous,  and  sometimes  not.  "  He  says  it  i 
was  paid  for  once  at  ten  times  its  value,  or, 
at  least,  twice  its  value." 

"Twice  its  value,"  added  Mrs.  Murray, 
with  a  corrective  intonation. 

"  So,  as  to  asking  payment  for  it  again, 
and  asking  a  hundred  thousand  dollars  at 
that,  he  says  it  would  be — of  course  you 
don't  mean  it — but  it  w^ould  be — scandal- 
ous !" 

"  Scandalous,"  repeated  Mrs.  Murray,  in 
a  mild  murmur,  as  if  the  epithet  Avero  too 
severe,  and  she  were  disposed  to  except  to  it. 

"  Of  course  it  would  be  scandalous,  if  that 
were  the  whole  case,"  conceded  Josie,  a  lit- 
tle cast  down  by  this  appeal  to  the  author- 
ity of  Colonel  Murray.  "But  there  were 
a  great  nuxny  more  things  burned  tlian  the 
barn,  and  they  never  were  brought  into  the 
first  account  against  tlio  Government,  and 
so  never  were  paid  for." 

"  How  do  you  know  that  ?"  stared  the  rec- 
tor. 

"Oh,  there  is  proof  of  it,"  affirmed  Josie, 
who  as  yet  had  not  a  bit  of  testimony  iu 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


Ill 


support  of  licr  statomcnt,  ami  only  hoped  to 
got  some  out  of  old  Drinkwatcr. 

"  I  never  heard  of  it — I  can't  believe  it," 
insisted  tho  clcr;j;yman.  "  Besides,  I  don't 
caro  if  there  is,"  ho  added,  rather  unreason- 
ably, though  quite  naturally.  He  hated  the 
mere  name  and  fame  of  having  a  claimant 
in  his  family,  and,  moreover,  this  discussion 
was  worrying  him,  and  tho  blood  was  mount- 
ing to  his  head.  "  If  there  were  oceans  of 
proof,  I  would  not  take  tho  money,"  ho  went 
ou,  excitedlJ^  "I  abhor  such  means  of  gain- 
ing lucre.  I  want  to  teach  you  to  abhor 
them.  There  are  so  many  evil  and  low 
persons  who  are  engaged  in  this  sort  of 
business !  They  have  defiled  it,  and  cast 
shame  upon  it,  and  made  a  defiling  pitch 
of  it." 

"Defiling  pitch!"  litanied  Mrs.  Murray, 
though  in  a  very  small  voice,  for  she  noted 
her  husband's  rising  agitation,  and  it  fright- 
ened her. 

"  Their  company  iu  labor,  whether  one 
knows  them  or  not,  is  degradation.  I  can 
not  bear  that  any  one  of  "my  household,  any 
one  of  my  name,  should  countenance  their 
work,  and  share  iu  a  prosperity  that  re- 
sembles theirs.  I  would  rather  go  to  my 
grave  iu  poverty,  rather  be  buried  from  the 
alms-house,  than  ask  one  penny  from  the 
Government  on  a  claim.  It  is  a  sin  against 
honesty,  against  free  institutions,  against 
the  best  Government  on  earth." 

He  was  exaggerating  tremendously,  as  a 
child  might  perceive.  Moreover,  he  was  a 
little  out  of  breath,  so  that  it  would  have 
been  a  fine  opportunity  for  Mrs.  Murray  to 
put  in  one  of  her  responses,  only  that  she 
noted  his  excitement  and  was  afraid  of  in- 
creasing it. 

"  You  must  bear  with  me,"  he  went  on ; 
"you  must  let  me  treat  you  as  a  child  of 
mine.  You  carry  my  name  into  the  world, 
and  you  are  the  wife  of  my  nephew,  the 
daughter-in-law  of  my  brother." 

Here  his  voice  of  a  sudden  faltered,  and 
became  gentler,  like  the  step  of  one  who  dis- 
covers that  he  is  treading  on  a  grave. 

Stirred  by  his  emotion,  Josio  put  her  hand- 
kerchief to  her  eyes,  and  "  poor  Augustus  " 
-had  the  meed  of  an  honest  tear. 

Aunt  Huldah  also  remembered  the  bereave- 
ment, and  her  tremulous  eyelids  winked  and 
became  reddened. 

"  I  am  sorry  for  your  troubles,  my  dear," 
tho  rector  continued,  more  softly.  "I  like 
yon,  and  wish  you  all  manner  of  prosperity ; 
but  in  this  one  thing  I  must  urge  you  to 
defer  to  my  judgment,"  he  insisted,  forget- 
ting that  he  had  lately  disclaimed  all  abili- 
ty for  judging,  so  inconsequent  is  humanity 
la  a  state  of  suft'usion  of  tho  tiice.  "  I  must 
require — I  must  beg  leave  to  positively  re- 
quire— that  this  claim  bo  dropped." 

"And  how  am  I  to  live?"  whimpered  Jo- 
sie,  though  whether  really  iu  a  tearful  con- 


dition, or  only  pretending  to  bo  so,'  finite 
man  knows  not. 

"  Oil,  there  will  bo  some  other  way  !"  sug- 
gested Mrs.  Murray,  vaguely,  though  with 
generous  intentions. 

"  You  are  our  relative,  and  j'ou  shall  not 
want,"  declared  the  rector,  who  was  embold- 
ened by  his  wife's  hint  to  utter  more  thau 
he  would  have  dared  without  it. 

"Oh,  thaidi  you!"  gushed  Josie,  sweetly, 
and  wondered  how  much  they  meant. 

She  was  not  their  blood  relative,  and  she 
knew  that  her  husband  had  not  been  a  fa- 
vorite of  theirs,  and  she  had  inferred  that 
they  would  probably  leave  her  little  or  noth- 
ing. Indeed,  she  had  been  positively  told 
by  Mrs.  Warden  that  tho  Murray  money 
would  all  go  to  the  Murrays  as  long  as  they 
lasted,  and  then  to  churches,  charities,  and 
missionaries.  Now  for  the  tirst  time  they 
talked  of  supporting  her,  and  perhaps  of  be- 
queathing her  something.  Would  it  be  a 
great  deal,  or  only  a  little  ?  Would  it  be 
more  than  she  could  fairly  hope  to  get  from 
tho  claim  ?  Iu  any  case  it  was  obviously 
wise  not  to  oitend  them  by  mere  speeches: 
and  tho  moment  it  seemed  wise  it  seemed 
right,  beautifully  and  alluringly  right.  Such 
is  the  gooduess  we  inherit  from  Father 
Adam's  undivided  estate  of  original  sin. 
We  are  able,  after  some  experience  and  re- 
flection, to  love  the  virtue  which  pays. 

"I  know  that  you  mean  to  be  kind," she 
continued.  "  You  have  been  already  very, 
very  kind  to  me.  I  know,  too,  Uncle  John, 
that  in  this  matter  you  mean  for  the  best  by 
me.  Well,  I  must  trust  to  your  judgment ; 
I  must  give  tho  whole  thing  up." 

"  Oh,  do .'"  giggled  Mrs.  Murray,  almost  hys- 
terically delighted.  "  I  am  so  glad !  So  glad 
you  will  give  it  up !  I  knew  you  would  when 
yon  knew  how  we  felt.  It  will  be  so  much 
better.  So  much  better  iu  the  end.  I  am 
so  glad !" 

Thereux)on  Josie,  making  a  great  effort  to 
do  what  was  judicious  and  disagreeable,  re- 
warded the  old  lady  with  something  very 
like  a  Judas  kiss,  and  the  rector  with  an- 
other, which  she  would  have  liked  to  change 
into  a  bite. 

The  fight  was  over  or  seemed  to  bo  over. 
Mr.  Murray,  looking  upon  himself  as  a  vic- 
tor, and  a  just  one,  was  immeasurably  con- 
tent. By  dint  of  getting  into  a  fume  and 
nearly  having  a  fit,  he  had  found  courage  to 
speak  his  mind  boldly,  and  even  to  erupt 
some  of  his  lava  and  scoria  of  hyperbole. 
By  dint  of  this  valetudinarian  desperation 
he  had  succeeded,  as  ho  supposed,  in  belling 
his  pussy-cat.  With  a  full  heart  he  thank- 
ed his  Maker  and  praised  himself  As  for 
Mrs.  Murray,  knowing  how  women  love  to 
be  recompensed  for  virtue,  she  promptly  sent 
a  servant  down  to  Pennsylvania  Avenue,  or- 
dered np  a  lot  of  shawls,  and  gave  Josio  her 
pick,  at  an  expense  of  two  hundred  dollars. 


iia 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


To  show  liow  this  generosity  touched  our 
heroiuo,  and  what  a  reformatiou  it  wrought 
iu  her  character  aud  purposes,  let  us  rehate 
a  scene  which  tooli  place  the  very  next  day 
between  her  aud  Bradford.  He  had  hardly 
been  with  her  fiv*e  minutes  when  he  remark- 
ed, out  of  a  heart  still  sore  from  Colonel 
Murray's  reproof : 

"I  called  partly  to  say  something  un- 
pleasant." 

"  Don't  do  it,"  begged  Josie,  archly.  She 
had  had  a  womanly  presentiment  of  his  ob- 
ject in  coming,  aud  she  was  fully  prepared 
in  spirit  to  fence  with  him  and  evade  hiui. 
"Never  do  any  thing  that  you  meant  to," 
she  continued,  gayly.  "  First  intentions  are 
always  silly.     Try  a  sober  second  thought." 

But  Bradford,  being  a  handsome  and  suc- 
cessful young  man,  was  more  inclined  to  rule 
women  than  to  be  subject  unto  them.  Be- 
sides, he  was  pushed  forward  by  his  official 
conscience  aud  by  his  regard  for  his  old 
chief. 

"Colonel  Murray  is  indignant  about  your 
claim,"  he  persisted.  "He  has  given  me  a 
lecture  for  hiding  it  from  him,  as  I  promised 
you  that  I  would  do,  weak  creature  that  I 
was !" 

"  You  weak !"  sighed  Josie,  plunging  her 
splendid  eyes  to  the  very  bottom  of  his,  and 
putting  on  an  air  of  studying  him  hopeless- 
ly for  a  frail  spot.  "'  I  wish  you  were.  But 
you  are  very  strong ;  altogether  too  strong 
to  be  lovely ;  you  would  be  lovelier  and 
stronger,  too,  if  you  were  a  little  weaker. 
So  the  colonel  has  lectured  you?  Well, 
Uncle  John  and  Aunt  Huldah  have  lectured 
me." 

"'  Have  they  ?  Sly  dear  child,  I  am  very 
glad  of  it." 

"  Naughty,  hard-hearted  mau  !"  said  Josie, 
smiling  and  ha^ipy  at  being  called  a  dear 
child. 

"  I  broke  down  under  my  lecture,"  he  add- 
ed. "I  went  on  my  guilty  knees  at  once. 
How  did  you  bear  yours  ?" 

"I  went  on  my  knees,  too." 

She  did  not  look  a  bit  penitent  nor  other- 
wise in  earnest ;  and  he  did  not  know  wheth- 
er she  meant  to  give  up  her  claim  or  not. 
But  he  had  to  admit,  as  ho  gazed  down  upon 
her  delicate  features  and  sparkling  eyes,  that 
she  was  iirodigiously  fascinating.  There  was 
a  roguish,  child-like  smile  on  her  lips ;  there 
was  in  her  face  a  i;iun-like  expression  of  be- 
ing naughty,  or  at  least  mischievous,  with- 
out knowing  it ;  there  was  throughout  her 
whole  being  a  glow,  a  glamour,  a  perfume,  an 
intoxicating  force,  an  enchantment ;  there 
were  all  the  power  and  witchery  of  uncon- 
trolled, wantoning  womanhood.  A  voice 
seemed  to  come  from  her  like  the  call  of  a 
dancing  Baccliante,  crowned  with  dishevel- 
ed hair  and  vine-leaves,  and  waving  a  flagon 
of  wine. 

Yet  ho  had  just  como  from  worshiiiing 


at  the  shrine  of  that  calm  and  pure  Diana, 
Belle  Warden.    Alas !  in  this  matter  of  deal- 
ing with  women,  Bradford  was  not  a  solid-  j 
ly,  securely  upright  man,  but  swayed  and  j 
changed  with  the  company  he  was  in.     In  I 
regard  to  money  and  politics  aud  other  mere-/ 
ly  masculiue   matters,  he  was  fastidiously 
honorable  ;  but  outside  of  that  public  high- 
way of  life  his  feet  were  apt  to  follow  the 
lead  and  beckoning  of  temptation.     Mean- 
while he  iu  general  held  firmly  that  such  a 
woman  as  Belle  Warden  was  worth  many 
such  as  Josie  Murray. 

"  You  ought  to  admire  me  for  my  obedi- 
ence," continued  the  little  witcb,  gratified 
and  emboldened  by  his  steady  gaze. 

"  I  do,"  he  declared,  with  the  warmth  of  a 
man  who  finds  admiration  a  luxury. 

"Aunt  Huldah  gave  me  a  shawl  for  it. 
You  mustn't  give  me  any  thing  for  it." 

He  so  entirely  forgot  Belle  Warden,  that 
he  wanted  to  say,  "I  will  give  you  a  heart." 

"  Your  admiration  is  sufficient,"  smiled  Jo- 
sie. "  I  sometimes  think  that  I  have  lost 
all  the  good-will  of  my  old  friend.  But  you 
make  me  hope  it  isn't  so,  and  that  is  enough." 

"  It  is  very  little.  I  should  like  to  do 
more."  Then  he  checked  himself,  remem- 
bering that  all  this  was  perilous,  and  add- 
ed, "  So  you  have  dropped  the  claim.  I  am 
very  glad." 

"I  shall  do  nothing  more  about  it,"  she 
murmured,  by  no  means  pleased  with  this 
change  iu  the  conversation. 

"But  you  will  withdraw  it,  of  course? 
Otherwise  it  might  go  through  by  mere  mo- 
mentum, so  to  speak.  You  will  have  to  with- 
draw the  papers  from  the  committee." 

"  Oh  dear !"  groaned  Josie,  half  angry  with 
him,  and  meanwhile,  be  it  remembered,  a 
good  deal  iu  love  with  him.  "  Will  noth- 
ing content  you  short  of  making  me  cut  my 
own  throat?"  she  added,  drawing  a  little 
hand  athwart  that  prettily  rounded  object. 
"  See  here,  Edgar  Bradford,  isn't  mine  a  hard 
case  ?  I  was  brought  up  on  plenty  of  mon- 
ey, and  now  I  am  a  poor  relation.  Do  yoii 
tiiink  I  like  it?  Do  you  think  I  like  to 
have  an  empty  purse — to  look  forward  to 
a  life  of  dependence— to  exjicct  to  bo  a  pen- 
niless old  woman  ?  Why  can't  1  let  myself 
have  a  chance,  if  the  world  wants  to  give  it 
to  me  ?  Wliy  must  you  urge  me  to  take  the 
bread  out  of  my  own  mouth?  It  is  very, 
very  hard  of  you." 

Ho  was  in  a  difficult  situation.  How  could 
he  push  her  to  abdicate  this  possibility  of  a 
fortune  without  oflering  her  his  own  estate 
and  hand  ?  How  could  a  man  who  had  more 
than  once  kissed  that  lovely  face  insist  upon 
consigning  it  to  the  rusty  bonnets  of  indi- 
gence ? 

"  Oh,  my  poor — dear — child !"  ho  faltered, 
really  pitying  her,  longing  to  do  much  for 
her,  and  yet  not  daring  to  trust  her  with 
his  hapi)iucss,  uor  willing  to  sacrifice  to  her 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


113 


his  honor.  "  I  wich  I  knew  what  to  say  to 
you." 

They  -were  standing  face  to  fixce,  hardly  a 
foot  apart.  His  handsome  hazel  eyes,  usual- 
ly interesting  by  their  pensivencss,  and  jnst 
now  pathetic  with  compassion,  were  gazing 
steadily  into  hers. 

Either  they  drew  her  to  hope,  or  they 
compelled  her  to  longing.  Of  a  sudden  she 
raised  her  arms,  slid  them  gently,  tenderly 
around  his  neck,  and  held  him  fast. 

There  was  no  resisting  the  warm  touch  of 
the  little  siren  ;  ho  placed  a  hand  on  each  of 
her  temples,  and  eagerly  kissed  her  forehead. 

But  that  was  all ;  there  ho  had  strength 
to  stop.  It  was  a  cruel  trial  to  a  woman 
who  had  ventured  so  much,  and  who  longed 
to  win  so  much.  Her  head  hent,  her  face  a 
ilame  of  startled  blood,  her  eyes  drooping  in 
tender  expectation,  she  waited  a  moment  for 
him,  while  he  neither  stirred  nor  spoke. 

For  a  moment  Bradford  staggered  and 
nearly  fell  from  such  wisdom  as  ho  had. 
Then  he  remembered  that  if  he  joined  his 
life  in  any  serious  manner  with  this  woman, 
he  could  hardly  avoid  doing  her  work,  and 
so  ceasing  to  he  an  honest  legislator. 

"  There !"  he  exclaimed,  suddenly  loosen- 
ing her  hold  on  him  and  walking  about  the 
room :  "  I  can  do  nothing  with  you.  You 
must  have  your  own  way,  for  all  me.  I  must 
tell  Colonel  Murray  that  you  are  too  much 
for  me,  that  he  can't  depend  on  my  fidelity 
to  him." 

'■  But  you  won't  tell  him  any  more  V 
whimpered  Josie,  humiliated  by  the  failure 
of  her  appeal  to  Bradford's  emotional  nature, 
and  at  the  same  time  alarmed  for  her  claim. 
"You  won't  tell  him  that  I  may  jierhaps  let 
it  go  on  ?  You  don't  know  that  I  will. 
You  have  no  right  to  tell  him  so." 

"  Oh  Lord !  I  shall  have  to  bo  a  rogue," 
groaned  Bradford. 

'•  Oh  do  —  for  my  sake,"  hegged  Josie, 
startled  by  a  spasm  of  hysteric  humor,  and 
smiling  through  her  tears. 

It  was  an  unlucky  speech  for  her  ;  it  end- 
ed the  breaking  of  her  charm.  Bradford 
laughed  aloud  at  her  drollery,  but  in  so  doing 
he  recovered  his  composure,  and  the  danger 
of  his  hecoming  a  very  great  rogue  was  for 
the  present  over. 

'•  I  shall  have  to  he  false  to  my  old  chief," 
he  promised  ;  and  there  all  talk  of  a  serious 
nature  between  them  came  to  a  close ;  the 
rest  of  the  interview  passed  in  banalities. 


CHAPTER  XX:5;iII. 
nOI.DIXG  ON  TO  MR.  IIOLLOWBREAD. 

Temptress  to  evil  as  Josie  was,  it  is  diffi- 
cult not  to  pity  her,  unless  one  is  without  a 
heart,  or  at  least  without  an  imagination. 

The  man  whom  she  best  liked  would  not 
8 


propose  marriage,  would  not  do  any  thing 
energetic  or  definite  in  the  way  of  love-mak- 
ing, and  would  not  even  show  as  much  friend- 
liness and  serviceableness  as  various  less  fa- 
vored cavaliers. 

All  this  troubled  her  much  more  than 
could  easily  have  been  guessed,  cither  by 
those  who  merely  saw  her  butterllying  about 
society,  or  by  those  who  knew  her  intimate- 

ly- 

Many  times  the  thought  of  it  brought  tears 
into  those  ej'cs  which  any  one  would  have 
judged  beauteous  enough  never  to  plead  or 
grieve  in  vain.  There  were  daj's  when  she 
was  by  no  means  certain  that  she  should  not 
fall  sick,  and  perhaps  die  of  a  disappoint- 
ment in  love. 

But,  thanks  he  to  that  Power  which  has 
made  women  stronger  than  they  seem  to  he, 
her  three  or  four  fits  of  crying  did  not  kill 
her  ;  and  when  it  became  obvious  that  Brad- 
ford would  not  immediately  take  her  to  his 
arms  and  mould  her  destiny,  she  went  on 
moulding  it  for  herself. 

To  be  sure,  she  came  to  no  distinct  decis- 
ion, and  lived,  so  to  speak,  from  hand  to 
mouth  ;  but  in  spite  of  vacillations,  and 
through  mere  drifting,  she  tended  mainly  in 
one  direction  :  she  held  on  to  her  claim,  and 
held  on  to  Mr.  Hollowbread. 

We  ought  to  state,  out  of  mere  simple  jus- 
tice to  her,  that  her  prevalent  iiurpose  with 
regard  to  this  enamored  statesman  was  to  use 
him  to  get  "  her  money,"  and  then  to  throw 
him  away. 

In  order,  however,  to  have  many  strings 
to  her  bow,  and  so  "make  sicker"  of  hitting 
some  game  or  other,  she  kept  all  her  men 
about  her.  The  Byronic  and  bumptious  Bray 
was  encouraged  to  call  often,  to  talk  much 
confiding  fustian  about  General  Bangs's  lofty 
soul  and  his  own  lofty  soul,  and  to  strut 
away  in  a  peacocky  state  of  satisfaction,  un- 
der the  impression  that  he  was  a  favorite. 

The  Apollonian  Beauman,  who  wanted  to 
he  Minister  to  Portugal,  and  had  no  manner 
of  claim  to  the  position  except  that  four  hun- 
dred women  in  Washington  thought  him 
"perfectly  beautiful,"  also  dropped  in  fre- 
quently to  try  his  magnetism  upon  the  fair- 
est lady  of  them  all,  and,  mayhap,  to  receive 
a  shock  or  two  himself. 

Young  Calhoun  Clavers,  too,  was  a  con- 
stant visitor.  It  was  at  this  period  that  he 
laid  his  twenty  years,  his  cotton-planting  de- 
scent, his  Southern  simplicity,  enthusiasm, 
and  truth,  his  fervent,  boyish  love,  and  his 
slender  prospects  in  life,  at  the  feet  of  a  guile- 
less widow  two  years  his  senior.  From  a 
sentimental  point  of  view  the  sacrifice  was 
a  rich  one,  but  it  was  of  very  little  conse- 
quence to  Josie,  and  she  kindly  declined  it. 
The  soft-hearted  and  not  yet  very  hard-head- 
ed youth  did  not  know  what  a  favor  had 
been  done  him,  and  retired  from  the  inter- 
view exceediuglv  sorrowful. 


114 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


"I  met  a  corpse  cTcsceudiug  your  steps, 
Mrs.  Murray,"  said  Beaiimau,  who  entered  a 
moment  later  ;  "  and  I  recognized  the  deadly 
gashes  of  your  dagger." 

"  You  recognized  nothing  of  tlie  sort,"  re- 
plied Josie,  with  that  light-hearted  laugh 
of  hers  which  was  so  deceiving,  because  it 
seemed  so  utterly  iincouscious  of  grave  emo- 
tions. "  You  met  Mr.  Clavers  with  one  of 
his  malarious  headaches.  Ho  is  subject  to 
them." 

It  must  be  understood  that  she  quite  liked 
Clavers;  that  she  fully  jierceived  what  a 
fund  of  faithful  love  there  was  iu  him  ;  and 
that,  while  perforce  rejecting  his  impecuni- 
ous ofier,  she  felt  grateful  for  it.  Moreover, 
there  was  iu  her  somewhat  of  that  womauly 
honor,  or  wisdom,  which  will  not  reveal  one 
man's  heart-humiliation  to  another. 

"And  he  was  taken  with  his  fit  here?" 
continued  Beaumau.  "So  many  men  are! 
I  think  it  would  be  imxirudeut  for  me  to 
stay." 

"As  if  I  were  a  fever-and-ague  district,  Mr. 
Beaumau !  I  don't  think  auy  thing  would 
give  you  a  headache,  except  failing  to  go  to 
Portugal." 

"  Couldn't  you  lend  me  forty  or  fifty  Con- 
gressmen to  save  me  from  that  calamity  ? 
You  could  spare  them  ?" 

She  laughed  again,  not  a  bit  vexed  with 
his  fling  at  her  multitudinous  flirting,  and 
satisfied  at  having  drawn  him  otf  from  the 
subject  of  Clavers. 

"  It  would  be  wisdom  iu  us  to  combine  our 
forces,"  she  added.  "  Suppose  you  lend  me 
your  forty  or  fifty  Congresswomen." 

"Useless.  No  woman  will  work  for  an- 
other," retorted  Beaumau,  who  felt  himself 
to  be  the  equal  of  any  lady,  and  did  not  take 
feminine  chaffing  meekly. 

Then  Sykes  Drummoud  dropped  in,  for  he 
also  had  been  lured  again  to  the  Murray 
shrine,  notwithstanding  his  fretfulness  over 
the  loss  of  the  Murray  claim,  and  over  the 
Appleyard  rencontre. 

"What,  Beaumau!  not  sailed  yet?"  he 
haw-hawed  in  his  irritating  fashion.  "  Well, 
I  suppose  it  is  only  a  question  of  time." 

Beaumau,  who  was  accustomed  to  domi- 
nate Congressmen  by  dint  of  godlike  beau- 
ty and  lordly  deportnu'ut,  made  no  reply 
further  than  to  gaze  at  Drummoud  with  an 
impassive  countenance,  much  as  a  Horse 
Guards  swell  might  gaze  at  a  forward  grocer. 

"  Of  course  it  is  only  a  question  of  time," 
interposed  Josie,  always  eager  to  keep  her 
men  on  terms  with  each  other.  "Do  you 
suppose,  Mr.  Drununond,  that  you  are  the 
only  spoiled  child  of  fortune?  You  might 
as  well  say  at  once  that  you  wish  him  a  pleas- 
ant voyage." 

"  I  wish  him  a  thousand,"  declared  Drum- 
moud, exceedingly  wroth  at  Beauman's  stare. 
"  But  I  fc'ar  it  is  of  no  use.  You  see,  Bean- 
man,  you  haven't  graduated ;  you  haven't 


been  through  the  regular  mill ;  that  is  your 
weak  point.  Nobody  gets  a  fancy  office  ex- 
cept broken- do wu  Congressmen  and  secre- 
taries." 

"  I  believe  the  Executive  and  the  Senate 
decide  these  questions,"  said  the  would-be 
diplomat,  calmly  looking  down  upon  the  rep- 
resentative of  the  Lower  House. 

"  I  have  always  understood  so,"  answered 
Drummoud,  with  a  retaliative  haw,  haw! 

Of  course  this  sort  of  thing  was  too  pleas- 
ant to  last,  and  Mr.  Beauman  presentli"^  de- 
parted, with  crushing  dignity. 

"What  is  the  use  of  telling  people  the 
truth?"  demanded  Josie  of  her  remaining 
admirer.     "You  only  make  enemies." 

"  I  can  escape  this  one  by  going  to  Portu- 
gal," laughed  Drummoud.  "He  will  never 
be  miuister  there,  or  anywhere  else.  Bar- 
ring some  first-class  selections,  which  must 
be  made  in  order  to  get  our  real  work  abroad 
done,  missions  are  for  the  General  Hornblow- 
ers  and  the  honest  John  Vanes,  when  they 
can't  get  elected  any  longer.  Beauman  is 
simply  a  genteel  fellow  of  good  parts  and 
superior  personal  attractions.  He  never  has 
held  an  office  nor  done  partisan  pulling  and 
hauling.  Any  old  political  hack  can  beat  him 
out  of  sight  ou  this  track.  Why  shouldn't 
I  tell  him  so  ?  It  is  a  service  to  him  ami  a 
pleasure  to  me — haw,  haw !" 

"Ah,  Mr.  Drummoud!  you  are  very  hard," 
commented  Josie,  studying  him  with  an  eye 
which  did  not  indicate  unmixed  commenda- 
tion. 

Yes,  he  was  hard,  he  was  boorish,  he  was 
domineering,  he  was  thoroughly  selfish. 
There  was  not,  so  far  as  she  could  judge,  a 
tender  or  a  sympathetic  or  truly  courteous 
spot  iu  his  whole  nature. 

She  could  not  want  him  as  an  advocate, 
much  less  as  a  lover,  and  by  no  means  as  a 
husband.  Nor  could  she  want  the  dilettante, 
delicate-handed  Beaumau,  nor,  should  she 
want  him,  could  she  probably  get  him. 

Clavers,  too,  so  willing  to  give  his  all,  but 
whose  all  amounted  to  mere  heart-beats,  was 
not  a  mau  to  whom  she  could  bind  her  des- 
tinies. 

Against  many  others,  whom  she  had 
thought  of  as  her  possible  Greathearts,  there 
were  likewise  objections,  either  as  to  devo- 
tion, or  desirableness,  or  ability.  The  world 
was  something  like  an  army,  very  imposing 
and  magnificent  when  surveyed  in  mass,  but 
composed  individually  of  commonplace,  un- 
attractive hirelings. 

In  short,  until  Edgar  Bradford  could  some- 
how be  secured,  it  seemed  necessary  to  stick 
to  the  faithful  and  useful  Hollowbread.  It 
was  the  more  necessary  because  there  was 
that  additional  evidence  to  be  obtained  iu 
support  of  the  claim,  and  she  knew  of  no 
one  else  who  would  be  likely  to  do  it  so  well 
and  with  so  slight  a  prospect  of  reward. 

So  she  clung  to  her  eldost-boru  admirer, 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


115 


aud  eventually  went  \\itli  him  to  Beulali 
County,  aud  did  a  very  strange  thing  there. 

We  must  do  her  the  justice  to  repeat  em- 
phatically that  she  -was  extrenielj'  averse  to 
this  audacious  i)ilgriniage  iu  search  of  old 
Driukwatcr.  She  did  not  want  to  raid 
about  the  world  in  the  solo  company  of  Jlr. 
Hollowbread,  jiartly  lest  Dave  Shorthand 
should  show  her  uj)  again  in  the  Xcivumon- 
ger,  hut  mainly  lest  Edgar  Bradford  should 
hear  of  it,  and  never  call  on  her  more. 

She  tried  to  coax  her  venerable  advocate 
to  set  off  alone ;  but  here  she  came  in  con- 
flict with  his  really  puissant  vis  inertia.  He 
could  not  possibly  bo  put  in  motion. 

At  last,  h.'iviug  obtained  a  private  inter- 
view with  General  Bangs,  and  learned  from 
him  that  additioual  testimony  must  posi- 
tively' be  had  to  make  her  business  hopeful, 
she  decided  to  risk  the  adventure. 

Although  the  holidays  were  over  and  the 
session  had  re-opened,  Mr.  Ilollowbread  was 
only  too  glad  to  accompany  her.  He  drop- 
ped his  inflation  bill  as  if  it  were  the  most 
mischievous  of  measures,  which  indeed  it 
was ;  he  turned  his  back  on  the  prayers  of 
ofhce- seeking  constituents,  on  the  public 
woe  and  weal,  and  on  his  own  glory.  "With 
Mrs.  ilurray's  arm  in  his,  he  would  have 
quitted  Paradise  aud  eloped  to  the  infernal 
regions. 

Josie  meanwhile  iuformed  her  relatives 
that  she  was  called  to  Xew  York  by  a  mat- 
ter of  investment,  explaining  to  her  con- 
science that  New  York  meant  New  York 
State,  and  that  the  investment  was  her 
claim.  "When  the  colonel  proposed  to  ac- 
company her,  she  would  not  hear  to  it,  al- 
leging that  it  was  midwinter,  and  her  dear 
uncle  would  surely  catch  cold. 

As  a  security  against  tattle  she  left  ^Yash- 
ington  alone,  and  HoUowbread  joined  her  at 
the  Baltimore  station.  Thenceforward  they 
made  the  trip  iu  companj-,  though  with  due 
regard  to  speed  aud  propriety,  traveling  by 
sleepiug-car,  and  meeting  only  iu  public. 
It  seemed  to  our  love-lorn  Congressman  that 
the  lady  to  whom  he  had  proposed  marriage, 
and  whose  decision  he  was  even  then  humbly 
awaiting,  treated  him  with  cruel  strictness. 

Josie  herself  felt  incliued  to  relax  her  mo- 
nastic severity  wheu  she  reached  the  small, 
bleak,  snow-bound  village  of  Murray  Hill. 
In  the  tirst  place,  the  hotel  was  a  doleful 
little  tavern,  cold,  windy,  comfortless,  un- 
kempt, dirty,  musty,  and  dispiriting,  a  lair 
calculated  to  cow  any  woman  with  a  sense 
of  isolation  aud  helplessness,  and  to  make 
lier  espouse  the  first  man  who  would  offer  to 
carry  her  away.  Iu  the  second  place,  old 
Driukwater,  bearing  with  him  all  her  hopes 
of  fortune,  had  departed  into  the  unknown. 

"  Gone  I"  Josie  gasped  at  the  landlord,  a 
large,  flabby,  shabbily-dressed  man,  richly 
scented  with  whisky  and  tobacco.  "  Goue 
where  ?     Not  dead,  I  hope  ?" 


""\Yell,  no,"  mine  host  opined,  apparently 
surprised  at  the  suggestion,  aud  even  con- 
sidering it  irrational,  not  to  say  iiijurioufj. 
He  didn't  think  old  Driukwater  would  do 
any  thing  so  hasty.  He  had  lived  to  uiue- 
ty-three,  and  got  through  the  worst  of  it. 
"What  was  the  use  of  going  back  on  himself 
aud  dying  now  ?  Any  body  who  knew  him 
would  allow  that  ho  had  prejudices  against 
dying.  Aud  he  was  a  mighty  obstinate 
man  —  couldn't  be  shoved  around  by  any 
body.  But  he  certainly  wasn't  in  the  vil- 
lage. He  had  (piit  about  a  Aveek  before, 
and  never  told  where  he  was  driving  to. 
Likely  enough  he  was  visiting  some  old  cro- 
ny somewhere  or  other.  He  was  a  lone- 
some sort  of  codger,  of  course,  and  knew  ten 
times  as  many  people  in  the  grave-yard  as 
out  of  it.  Sometimes  he  would  put  off  to 
see  some  deaf  and  blind  old  chap  that  he 
had  been  thick  with  seventy  or  eighty  years 
ago.  Last  spring  he  had  dropped  iu  on  old 
Squire  Bunker,  of  Lockport,  and  challenged 
him  to  run  a  race  round  the  block.  "  "Why," 
says  the  squire,  "I  couldn't  walk  it!"  If 
they  wanted  to  find  the  old  fellow,  they  had 
better  hunt  up  the  greatest  patriarch  they 
knew,  somebody  two  or  three  hundred  years 
old,  aud  ask  for  Driukwater.  But,  if  they 
would  stop  long  enough  at  Murray  Hill, 
they  would  be  sure  to  see  him.  He  had 
been  coming  back  to  Murray  Hill  for  the 
last  century,  and  wasn't  going  to  forget  his 
way  all  of  a  sudden. 

All  this  the  landlord  stated  iu  the  tone  of 
a  humorist  who  keenly  relishes  his  subject 
and  his  own  treatment  of  it.  In  narrating 
the  Lockport  incident,  he  imitated  with 
startling  energy  both  the  steutoriau  bass  of 
Driukwater  and  the  piping  utterance  of  the 
decayed  Bunker.  Moreover,  he  went  on  to 
chuckle  at  considerable  length  over  the  fine 
preservation  of  the  village  Methuselah,  the 
vigor  of  his  lungs,  eyes,  ears,  and  members, 
and  the  unimpaired  soundue.ss  of  his  noddle. 
But  he  could  not  give  so  much  as  a  guess  as 
to  where  he  might  be  ;  nor  would  he,  when 
pressed,  affirm  positively  that  he  was  still  iu 
the  land  of  the  living. 

"  Of  course  the  old  man  might  kick  the 
bucket,"  he  admitted,  with  rational  candor. 
"  He  an't  much  in  the  habit  of  it,  and  no- 
body ever  seen  him  do  it  once;  but  still  he 
might,  on  great  provocation." 

From  a  great-grandson  of  Drinkwater's, 
a  young  farmer  of  about  twenty-five,  they 
learned  nothing  more  positive. 

"Great-grandfather  had  been  talkiu'abont 
Lockport,"  he  suggested.  "  But  there's  no 
tellin'  where  he'll  fetch  up,  nor  when  he'll 
fetch  round.  "\Yhen  he's  once  out,  he  keeps 
agoing  till  he's  tired  on't.  Ho  an't  offeu 
gone  's  long  's  this,  though.  Dead  f  No, 
guess  not ;"  and  he  stared  at  the  singular 
surmise.  "  Some  folks  thiuk  he's  out  on  the 
Lakes.     He  folic  red  the  sea  wheu  he  waa  a 


116 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


boy — follered  it  for  forty  year  or  so — and 
lie's  liad  a  bankeriu'  lately  to  git  aboard 
sbip  once  more.  But  I  kinder  reckon  lie 
"svouldu't  voyage  in  tbe  wiuter-time.  Don't 
think  he's  dead.     And  yit  be  might  be." 

Then  came  news,  brought  by  a  horse-deal- 
er just  returned  from  Bulialo,  that  old  Jere- 
miah Drinkwater  had  really  taken  a  trip  in 
a  lake  schooner,  and  that  there  were  fears 
lest  he  had  suifered  shipwreck. 

The  report  was  a  terrible  shock  to  Josie ; 
her  galleon  of  hopes  bad  gone  down  in  deep 
waters.  She  pushed  aside  her  cup  of  milk- 
and  -  water  tea,  rose  from  the  narrow,  un- 
steady, barren  table  of  tbe  hostelry,  and  went 
to  mope  in  tbe  small,  frowzy,  scantily -fur- 
nished parlor,  half  lighted  by  a  single  kero- 
sene-lamp, and  half  warmed  by  a  swart,  close- 
cylinder  stove. 

A  doleful  arena  it  was  in  which  to  com- 
bat the  tigers  of  dullness,  loneliness,  and  dis- 
appointment. It  seemed  to  her  that  if  there 
had  been  a  bright  wood  -  fire  in  the  room 
she  could  have  borue  her  sorrows  with  some 
fortitude,  whereas  that  sombre  iron  demon, 
without  a  ray  of  cheering  illumination,  and 
giving  forth  its  chary  heat  with  a  morose 
gloominess,  only  added  blackness  to  her 
darkness.  To  what  or  to  whom  could  she 
turn  for  sympathy  and  comforting  but  to  Mr. 
Hollowbread. 

"  Don't  you  wish  to  smoke  ?"  she  had 
considerately  asked,  when  they  cjuitted  that 
frigid  Sahara,  tbe  tea-table. 

Now,  but  for  her  he  would  have  fled  to  the 
bar-room  and  consumed  whisky-pnuches  and 
cigars  until  bed-time,  though  in  the  main  lit- 
tle given  to  such  pastime.  But  tbe  beloved 
of  his  heart  he  must  not  and  did  not  desire 
to  leave  solitary,  unless  she  plainly  request- 
ed it. 

"If  you  have  no  objection,  I  would  prefer 
to  remain  with  you,  Mrs.  Murray,"  he  said, 
with  that  deference  which  he  now  alwaj-s 
accorded  to  her,  the  truly  enamored  old  Lo- 
thario. 

"  Thank  you.  Do  stay !"  responded  Josie, 
gi'atefuUy,  so  low  bad  she  been  brought  by 
discomfort  and  worry. 

Then  there  was  a  long  discussion  over  tbe 
chances  of  tbe  claim,  the  advocate  distinctly 
concediug  that  they  were  somewhat  dubious, 
and  the  claimant  positively  trembling  under 
the  thought  that  they  might  be. so. 

At  last  Josie  dropped  into  silence,  brood- 
iug  over  her  suddenly  darkened  future,  and 
querying  what  she  could  do  to  brighten  it. 
It  seemed  to  her,  as  it  has  probably  seemed 
at  times  to  every  fortuneless  woman,  that 
fate  drove  her  upon  seeking  a  husband. 

Well,  here  was  one  to  her  hand,  re- 
spectable in  character,  eminent  in  position, 
wealthy,  devoted,  and  only  objectionable  by 
reason  of  being  forty  years  her  senior.  She 
glanced  at  him  sidelong ;  the  dim  light  of 
the  kerosene-lamp  favored  him ;  it  did  not 


appear  to  her  that  he  looked  insupportable. 
Portly  he  certainly  was,  and  his  visage  had 
a  rather  too  sumptuous  rubicund  glorj' ;  but 
sartorial  cunning  had  done  its  best  by  his 
figure,  and  his  massive  Koman  features  were 
still  comely.  As  for  his  age  —  well,  there 
was  a  dim,  funereal  encouragement  in  that, 
too,  inasmuch  as  whatever  woman  he  mar- 
ried might  shortly  be  a  widow,  and  would, 
of  course,  have  financial  consolations.  It 
was  an  ngly  train  of  thought  for  a  young 
lady  to  indulge  in,  and  we  will  hope  that 
she  did  not  dwell  upon  it  long  or  quite  con- 
sciously. But  the  result  of  it  was,  that  she 
found  his  size  and  his  years  somewhat  the 
less  distasteful. 

Meanwhile,  had  she  no  recollection  of  Ed- 
gar Bradford  ?  Yes,  certainly  yes ;  but  she 
shut  her  eyes  and  bit  her  lips  when  his  im- 
age arose  before  her ;  she  strove  with  petu- 
lant energy  to  forget  him.  He  had  been  un- 
loving and  ungrateful  and  unkind ;  he  had 
not  cherished  her,  nor  even  beljied  her,  as 
he  ought  to  have  done ;  he  had  actually  re- 
sponded to  her  embrace  by  kissing  her  cold- 
ly, and  laying  her  aside  promptly.  It  was 
his  fault  that  she  was  here  alone  with  this 
old  man ;  and  as  she  thought  of  it  she  once 
more  shut  her  lustrous  eyes  and  bit  her  rosy 
lips.  We  are  not  sure,  indeed,  that  there  was 
not  a  dimness  of  tears  in  the  one,  and  a  faint 
.stain  of  blood  on  the  other. 

All  this  time  she  was  sitting  in  front  of 
the  grim  stove,  trying  in  vain  to  warm  her 
tired  feet  at  it,  her  white  skirt  showing 
across  her  delicate  instep,  her  small  bauds 
clasped  plaintively  over  her  knees,  and  her 
Grecian  head  bent  in  sad  meditation.  She 
,  was  a  lovely,  a  very  lovely,  object  to  look 
I  upon,  attractive  enough  to  draw  a  long  gaze 
I  from  any  one,  even  from  a  perfect  stranger. 
Mr.  Hollowbread  glanced  at  her  stealthily 
from  moment  to  moment,  and  thought  that 
he  had  never  before  seen  her  so  beautiful,  so 
fascinating.  He  painted  her  profile  on  his 
j  very  heart ;  he  so  fixed  it  there  that  he  nev- 
er afterward  forgot  its  smallest  line  ;  never 
forgot  how  she  looked  in  that  very  moment. 
It  must  be  understood,  also,  that,  excusing 
his  boldness  by  the  chill  of  the  room,  he  had 
I  ventured  to  draw  his  chair  up  to  the  stove, 
so  that  they  sat  very  close  together. 

"  Have  we  exhausted  every  subject  ?"  she 
at  last  said,  turning  a  dejected  smile  upon 
him. 

"  There  is  one  subject  of  which  I  have 
promised  not  to  speak,"  ventured  Mr.  Hol- 
lowbread, fearing  the  while  lest  she  should 
request  him  to  leave  her  merely  for  alluding 
to  it. 

The  poor,*  tired,  lonely,  desperate  little 
beauty  gave  him  a  quick  glance,  which  was 
not  a  glance  of  displeasure. 

"May  I  speak  of  it,  Mrs.  Murray  ?"  burst 
forth  tbe  love-lorn,  half-crazed  man,  his  voice, 
his  veins,  his  limbs  full  of  trembling,  and  his 


PLAYING  THE  mSCIIIEF. 


117 


inoiitb  twitching  witli  emotion.  "  Jlay  I  say 
to  you  that  I  have  not  changed — that  I  still 
await  your  answer — tliat  I  live  for  you  ?" 

It  seemed  to  Josio  that  some  irresistible 
impulse  seized  her,  cansing  her  to  do  a  thing 
iVom  which  she  had  hitherto  revolted,  and 
of  which  she  was  sure  to  repent  the  next 
instant.  Without  answering  by  word,  she 
pushed  her  chair  violently  toward  Mr.  IIol- 
lowbread,  laid  one  young  hand  ou  his  old 
shoulder,  and  then  laid  her  young  head  be- 
side it,  softly  crying. 

"  Is  it  possible  f  he  gasped,  almost  out  of 
his  senses  with  joy.  "  Mrs.  Murray— Josie 
Murray — my  dear  one!  Is  it  possible  that 
you  accept  mo  ?" 

"Yes,"  whispered  Josie.  "Oh  dear,  I 
don't  know !  Will  you  promise  not  to  tell 
till  my  claim  is  sure  ?  Yes,  I  do  accept 
you." 

Grief,  loneliness,  longing  for  sympathy, 
fear  of  consequences,  egotism,  revolt,  and 
still  acquiescence  all  were  mingled  togeth- 
er, and  all  were  uttered.  But  Hollowbread 
was  conscious  of  but  one  thing — the  unex- 
pected, the  huugered-for,  the  priceless  boon 
of  acceptance. 

Then  his  mahogany  face  bowed  over  her 
Grecian  head,  and  his  dyed  mustache  de- 
scended upon  her  girlish  cheek. 


CHAPTER  XXXIV. 

MR.  drixkwatek's  testimoxy. 

Close  upon  the  betrothal  followed  a 
blessing :  that  is  to  say,  a  lucky  circum- 
stance which  had  nothing  to  do  with  it  in 
the  way  of  cause  and  effect ;  and  which 
therefore  a  certain  class  of  reasoners  would 
inevitably  set  down  as  providential. 

Ou  the  very  subsequent  morning  the  miss- 
ing Drinkwater  turned  up,  just  as  dry  as  if 
he  had  never  been  reported  drowned,  and 
just  as  lively  as  if  his  works  had  been  con- 
structed to  run  two  centuries.  Having 
learned  from  his  great-grandson  that  some- 
body at  the  hotel  wanted  to  see  him,  this 
survivor  of  at  least  two  thousand  millions  of 
human  beings  put  ou  his  box-coat  without 
assistance,  and  stumped  half  a  mile  through 
the  snow  to  find  out  what  was  stirring. 

When  Josie  and  her  affianced  entered  the 
parlor  after  breakfast,  thej^  beheld  a  rough- 
ly-clad, heavily-limbed,  hnge-chested,  harsh- 
featured,  Roman  -  nosed  man,  who  did  not 
look  to  be  above  seventy-five,  but  who  really 
was  near  twenty  years  older.  His  long  and 
still  fairly  abundant  tousled  hair  was  hard- 
ly lighter  than  iron-gray,  and  his  grim  vis- 
age, although  deeply  wrinkled,  had  an  air 
of  permanent  solidity  as  if  it  were  carved  in 
oak.  Instead  of  sitting  to  rest,  as  most  men 
of  his  age  would  have  done,  ho  was  tramp- 


ing up  and  down  flic  rooin  with  strong,  noisy 
steps,  meanwhile  swinging  a  hickory  cauo 
thicker  than  a  policeman's  bludgeon. 

Having  already  inquired  the  names  of  his 
visitors,  and  had  them  pointed  out  to  hira 
through  a  crack  of  the  dining-room  door,  ho 
recognized  them  at  once  on  their  appear- 
ance. 

"Sarvent, sir!"  he  shouted  at  Mr. Hollow- 
bread  in  a  voice  loud  enough  to  be  heard  at 
tho  top  of  tho  chinmey.  "  I  am  Jeremiah 
Drinkwater.  I  heerd  you  wanted  to  seo 
me." 

"  Oh !"  exclaimed  the  delighted  Josie,  dash- 
ing forward  and  grasping  ono  of  the  old 
fellow's  enormous  horny  hands.  "Oh,  Mr. 
Drinkwater,  I  am  so  perfectly  overjoyed  to 
meet  you  !  You  don't  know  me,  of  course. 
I  am  Mrs.  Augustus  Murray — one  of  the  Mnr- 
rays  that  used  to  live  here — one  of  the  Mur- 
ray Hill  Murrays.  Of  course  you  remember 
them." 

"I  remember  'em!"  roared  Mr.  Drinkwa- 
ter, as  if  ho  meant  that  the  deaf  and  dead 
should  hear  him. 

What  a  voice  the  man  must  have  had  even 
in  his  mewling  inftmcy !  Forty  years  of 
sea  -  going,  of  howling  commands  and  re- 
sponses amidst  the  turmoil  of  tempests,  had 
only  inci'easedhis  pneumonic  bore  and  sono- 
rousness. Thirty  subsequent  years  of  ag- 
ricultural swearing  at  horses  and  oxen  had 
but  kept  him  in  first-rato  trumpeting  con- 
dition. 

"  Sit  down,  my  dear  sir,"  begged  Mr.  Hol- 
lowbread, after  he  had  taken  his  turn  at  the 
nearly  centenarian  fist.  "  You  must  be  still 
suliering  somewhat  from  your  late  exposure. 
We  heard  that  you  were  shipwrecked.  How 
did  you  escape  ?" 

"  I  didn't  go  to  sea !"  bawled  and  "  holler- 
ed" Mr.  Drinkwater,  without  seeming  to 
know  that  he  was  uttering  a  joke,  and  one 
as  old  as  himself  at  that. 

Josie  giggled  in  her  gayest  and  most  mu- 
sical fashion.  The  hale  ancient  diverted 
her,  and  she  liked  him  immensely.  He  was 
so  rough  and  tough,  so  burly  and  blustering, 
such  a  trulj'  masculine  old  male,  that  all  the 
womanishness  in  her  went  out  toward  him, 
and-,  to  use  her  own  tongue,  she  thought  him 
"splendid."  Indeed, he  was  little  less  than 
sublime.  He  reminded  her  of  a  he-lion,  or  a 
buffalo  bull,  or  a  mad  elephant,  and  when  he 
roared  she  felt  as  if  she  were  in  a  storm  at 
sea,  with  breakers  all  around  her. 

"  My  uncles  remember  you  perfectly,"  she 
prattled  on,  stating  what  might  be,  rather 
than  what  sho  knew.  "  Y<iu  must  recollect 
them — the  Reverend  John  Murray — Colonel 
Julian  Murray." 

"I've  heerd  of  tho  colonel,"  admitted  Mr. 
Drinkwater,  in  tones  of  thunder.  "He  be- 
came an  officer,  and  fit  well.  That's  right. 
I  done  my  fightin'  when  ho  was  a  baby." 

"  You  look  as  if  you  could  fight  now,  sir," 


118 


PLAYIXG  THE  MISCHIEF. 


said  Josie,  surveyiug  bim  wWh  approval — an 
amused  approval. 

So  he  did.  If  I  were  on  a  helpless  mer- 
chantman, -ohich  should  be  boarded  by  ca 
periug,  yelling,  slashing  pirates,  I  should  not 
be  a  bit  surprised  to  see  the  blood-thirsty 
assailants  headed  by  such  a  figure  as  old 
Jeremiah  Driukwater,  and  I  can  imagine  my- 
self as  jumping  overboard  to  escape  his 
deafening  charge.  In  verj'  fact,  he  had  di- 
versified an  existence  which  might  other- 
wise have  been  stnpid  with  a  considerable 
amount  of  sanguinary  adventure. 

Driven  from  the  seas  in  1812  by  the  Bri- 
tannia which  then  ruled  them,  he  had  enlist- 
ed in  the  army  which  defended  his  native 
border-land,  playing  a  part,  for  instance,  in 
the  battle  of  Murray  Hill,  and  thereby  wit- 
nessing the  conflagration  of  Josie's  baru. 
Subsequently  he  had  taken  service  in  some 
South  American  warfare,  aud  pirated  about 
the  Pacific  or  Atlantic  in  a  free,  impartial 
style,  which  brought  him  much  pi'ofit,  not  to 
mention  honor. 

Of  these  filibustering  feats,  by-the-way, 
he  was  not  disposed  to  talk,  except  to  inti- 
mate acquaintance.  This  reticence,  howev- 
er, proceeded  from  old  habits  of  caution,  and 
not  from  any  weak-minded  sentiment,  such 
as  remorse.  As  we  shall  presently  discover, 
the  antique  hero's  manliness  was  adulter- 
ated with  but  a  small  dose  of  conscience, 
not  enough  to  do  Satan  himself  any  harm. 
With  regard  to  the  world  of  final  judgment, 
that  solemn  world  which  to  many  people 
seemed  so  alarmingly  near  him,  it  is  doubt- 
ful whether  he  bestowed  any  more  thought 
upon  it  than  would  a  hearty  rhinoceros  of 
the  same  age. 

"Yes,  you  look  as  if  you  could  whip  an 
Englishman  yet,"  declared  Mr.  Hollowbread. 
"  I  wish  I  had  half  yoxir  health  and  strength," 
he  added,  with  a  vague  idea  that  he  was 
himself  a  youngster,  though  a  weakly  one. 

It  was  well,  of  course,  to  say  this  sort  of 
thing,  if  he  wanted  a  fiivor  out  of  Mr.  Drink- 
water.  An  old  gent  in  good  repair  is  usual- 
ly as  proud  of  his  excellent  digestion  and 
circulation  as  a  young  athlete  is  of  his  bi- 
ceps; furthermore,  he  is  always,  or  nearly 
always,  fond  of  life,  aud  likes  to  be  told  that 
many  years  still  remain  to  him.  But  our 
partially  dilapidated  Congressman  spoke 
from  honest  impulse,  as  well  as  from  policy. 
He  fervently  admired  the  stalwart  patri- 
arch; he  regarded  him  with  that  wondering 
respect  which  we  accord,  for  instance,  to  a 
Roman  bridge  two  thousand  years  old  and 
still  traversable ;  he  almost  obsequiously 
contrasted  this  noisy  vigor  with  tlio  wheezy 
fiabbincss  which  he  himself  exhibited,  though 
in  tlie  heyday  of  sixty. 

"I  am  prottj'  chirk  for  ninety-three,"  was 
the  clamorous  admission  of  the  ancient  mar- 
iner. 

"I  should  really  like  to  learn  your  secret 


of  life,"  continued  Hollowbread,  eager  to 
know  how  to  keep  young,  so  that  he  might 
be  worthy  of  a  youthful  wife.  "  You  are 
attentive  to  the  laws  of  health,  I  suppose  ? 
Very  careful  as  to  your  diet.  Allow  me  to 
ask  what  you  eat  ?" 

"  Eat !     I  eat  any  thing  I  want  to." 

"  Indeed !"  stared  the  Congressman,  who 
could  not  eat  every  thing  he  wanted  to,  not 
by  a  considerable  bill  of  fare.  "  But  what 
do  you  take  at  breakfast,  for  instance  ?" 

"Ham  an'  eggs  generally,  or  whatever 
there  is  on  the  table,"  was  the  valuable  re- 
spouse.  "  I'm  very  fond  of  fried  hasty  pud- 
din'  an'  molasses.  And  always  my  good  cof- 
fee !"  concluded  Mr.  Driukwater,  smacking 
his  lips. 

"  Bless  me !"  commented  Mr.  Hollowbread. 
"But  no  stimulants,  I  j)resume?"  he  in- 
quired, remembering  that  he  himself  had 
been  obliged  to  diminish  hisiiotations  of  late 
years.  "Xo  ardent  spirits  or  other  strong 
drinks,  I  mean.  You  are  correctly  named 
Driukwater,  no  doubt,"  he  smiled,  with  that 
readiness  aud  origiuality  of  wit  for  which 
Congressmen  are  famous. 

"  I  give  up  rum  about  forty  year  ago," 
bellowed  Mr.  Driukwater. 

As  this  left  half  a  century  or  so  during 
which  rum  had  not  been  given  up,  the  state- 
ment did  not  seem  to  throw  much  light  on 
the  temperance  question. 

"I  drink  ale,"  continued  the  old  fellow. 

"  Oh,  you  do  ?  But  how  about  tobacco  ? 
Do  you  ever  smoke  ?" 

"Ko.     Never  did." 

"Ah!"  said  Mr.  Hollowbread,  with  the 
tone  of  a  maii  who  is  coming  to  the  facts  at 
last.  Here  was  something  for  his  guidance  ; 
he  would  see  if  he  could  not  quit  his  cigars. 

"Always  chawed  !"  shouted  and  hurraed 
Mr.  Driukwater. 

Josie  burst  into  a  laugh  ;  she  heartily  ad- 
mired the  stormy  old  animal  of  a  reprobate; 
she  liked  him  all  the  better  for  his  ham  and 
fried  pudding,  his  drinking  and  chawing. 
What  she  really  fancied  in  him,  as  jihilo- 
sophical  iieople  will  understaud,  was  stur- 
diness — force — virility — the  extreme  of  un- 
womanliness. 

"  Good  heavens !  I  begin  to  believe  there 
are  no  laws  of  health,  after  all,"  observed 
Hollowbread,  with  a  sigh  and  a  .smile.  "  I 
presume,  however,  that  you  have  led  an  act- 
ive life,  and  given  yourself  plentj'  of  air." 

"Born  hearty  an'  lived  outdoors," answer- 
ed the  old  man,  stating  one  of  the  greatest 
of  the  laws  of  health,  though  without  in 
the  least  knowing  it. 

Next  our  Congressman  inquired  whether 
the  patriarch  had  any  brothers  or  sisters  still 
living. 

"I  have  one  sister,"  he  replied,  with  a 
grimace  of  dislike.  "  I  haven't  seen  her 
but  once  in  ten  years." 

"  Why,  Jlr.  Driukwater!"  began  Josie. 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


IIJ 


"  She's  an  old  Jezebel,"  continued  Drink- 
water.  "She  come  up  to  me  in  Lockport 
yesterday.  I  liecrd  a  voice  beliind  nio  that 
I  thought  I  knew.  '  Why,  is  this  you,  Jere- 
miah?' saj's  somebody,  all  so  smoothly.  I 
turned  round,  an'  there  was  Sallie.  '  Hullo, 
you  old  Jezebel !'  says  I,  an'  went  about  my 
business." 

As  this  was  clearly  a  subject  which  riled 
the  venerable  man's  temper,  it  did  not  seem 
judicious  to  keep  him  on  it,  and  nothing 
more  was  said  about  Sallie. 

This  caution,  by-the-way,  is  another  proof 
of  Josio  Murray's  cleverness,  for  her  curiosi- 
ty as  to  the  cause,  nature,  and  duration  of 
the  family  quarrel  was  very  great. 

"Oh  dear!"  she  said, for  days  afterward, 
"  I  wish  I  knew  why  his  sister  was  an  old 
Jezebel." 

But  at  the  time  more  soothing  matters 
were  broached,  and  Mr.  Drinkwater  was  la- 
boriously stroked  back  to  amiability. 

At  last  Mr.  Hollowbread  opened  business ; 
they  had  come  about  the  Murray  barn,  etc., 
which  was  destroyed,  etc. ;  what  might  be 
the  approximate  value  of  the  same? 

"  I  swore  to  that  once,"  thundered  Drink- 
water,  without  hesitatiou,  his  memory  evi- 
dently as  sound  as  his  voice.  "  It  was  worth 
a  thousand  dollars!" 

Mr.  Hollowbread  hastened  to  the  door, 
opened  it,  and  sent  away  a  boy  who  was 
lounging  in  the  passage. 

"Oh,  Mr.  Drinkwater!  was  that  all?" 
pleaded  Josie.  "  Surely  it  must  have  been 
more  than  that.  Only  think  of  it !  A  large, 
tiuo  barn,  full  of  hay,  with  carts  and  car- 
riages and  tools!  Whj^,  Mr.  Drinkwater,  do 
think  again.  All  those  things  only  worth  a 
thousand  dollars !" 

"They  was  all  lumjied  together,"  he  as- 
serted, though  ho  glanced  at  her  in  a  jinz- 
zled  way.     "  They  come  to  that." 

"But,  my  dear  sir!"  interposed  Hollow- 
bread, "  there  must  certainly  be  some  mis- 
take in  this  calculation.  Please  to  remem- 
ber that  the  Murrays  were  the  wealthiest 
peojile  of  this  region,  and  lived  in  a  gener- 
ous style  corresponding  to  their  abundant 
means.  One  could  hardly  suppose  that  they 
would  have  mediocre  outliuildings.  I  ven- 
ture to  think  it  probable  that  this  barn  alone 
— the  mere,  simple,  solid  edifice  of  the  barn 
— -was  worth  a  thousnnd  dollars.  The  other 
articles  named  should  have  been  paid  for — 
were  doubtless  intended  to  bo  included  in 
the  payment — but  were  not.  Now,  accord- 
ing to  the  best  of  your  recollection,  is  it  not 
so?" 

"What  do  you  want?"  boomed  Mr. Drink- 
water, after  a  prolonged  stare  at  the  Con- 
gressman. 

Mr.  Hollowbread,  raising  his  voice  to  match 
a  supposed  deafness,  began  to  repeat  his  sup- 
positions. 

"  I  hear  you  well  enough,"  interrupted  the 


old  man,  fairly  bawling  him  down.     "What 
I  want  to  know  is  what  you're  drivin'  at." 

A  qualm  of  conscienco  and  of  shame  caused 
the  legislator  to  hesitate  over  the  avowal  of 
his  frauilnicnt  purpose. 

But  Josie  Minr.-iy  (that  surely  irresponsi- 
ble agent,  so  innocent  did  she  look  in  her 
innnorality) — Josie  Murray  had  no  scruples 
and  no  sense  of  dishonor. 

"We  are  driving  at  money,  Mr.  Drink- 
water," she  said,  smiling  like  a  seraph,  and 
flashing  her  eyes  at  him  as  brightly  as  if  he 
were  a  mari-iageable  youngster. 

"  Gov'ment  money  ?"  was  the  next  shout. 

"  Yes,  Government  money,"  avowed  Josie, 
never  ceasing  to  smile.  "That  is,  money 
that  the  Government  owes  me.    Mij  money." 

Mr.  Hollowbread  had  been  aghast  at  these 
bold  confessions ;  but  he  saw  now  that  his 
Josie  had  rightly  divined  the  moral  nature 
of  Driukwater;  that  the  old  fellow  had  not , 
the  least  objection  to  fleecing  his  native) 
country,  and  only  wanted  to  be  told  how  to/ 
do  it. 

"  Yes,  it  is  a  claim,"  he  bolstered  up  his 
courage  to  add.  "  It  was  paid  once  in  1820 
to  the  amount  of  one  thousand  and  interest." 

"I  recollect  it,"  interjected  the  ancient, 
coolly,  as  if  it  were  a  common  thing  to  re- 
member what  passed  half  a  century  ago. 

"But  that  seems  a  mere  trifle,"  contin- 
ued Hollowbread,  urged  on  by  a  coquettish 
glance  and  a  roguish  grimace  from  his  be- 
trothed. "  It  would  seem  as  if  it  must  have 
been  simply  the  value  of  the  mere  barn." 

"  Barn,  horses,  oxen,  carts,  haj',  an'  every 
thing,"  fulminated  the  old  carrouade,  with  a 
violence  which  made  Hollowbread  feel  as  if 
ho  were  being  blown  from  the  mouth  of  a 
cannon.  "  Money  was  money  in  them  days. 
It  wasn't  paper  rags." 

"Oh  dear!  you  must  bo  mistaken,  Mr. 
Drinkwater,"  protested  Josie.  "  You  didn't 
swear  to  that.  Barn  and  appurtenances, 
you  said.     Those  were  your  very  words." 

"  Was  them  the  words  ?  I  didn't  read  it 
myself,"  confessed  Drinkwater. 

"And  so  you  secf"  continued  Josie,  argu- 
mentatively — "  yon  see  that  wo  can  put  in 
another  claim  for  all  these  separate  things. 
They  must  have  been  worth  a  great  deal 
more  than  the  mere  barn  and  appurte- 
nances. Of  course  they  ought  to  be  paid 
for.  And,  if  you  will  swear  to  them  as  hav- 
ing been  destroyed,  tlien  I  can  get  my  mon- 
ey.    Don't  you  see,  Mr.  Drinkwater?" 

"  Yes,  I  see,"  admitted  the  veteran  of  1812, 
with  a  promptitude  which  did  his  intellect 
great  credit,  and  with  an  expenditure  of 
racket  which  testified  anew  to  the  sound- 
ness of  his  wind.  "So  you  want  another 
affidavy?  There's  something  for  witnesses, 
I  s'pose  ?" 

"  One  hundred  dollars  down  is  the  usual 
fee,"  suggested  Hollowbread,  with  a  crimson 
face. 


120 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


"Aud  two  hunilred  more  when  I  get  my 
money,"  added  Josie,  trembling  all  over  iu 
lier  eagerness. 

"All  right,"  said  Driukwater. 

He  was  perfectly  willing — the  venerable 
freebooter,  the  unconscionable  patriarch  — 
to  swear  to  any  thing  profitable.  If  he  had 
been  a  child  of  this  century,  instead  of  the 
last,  he  could  not  have  been  more  naturally 
a  lobbyist,  nor  shown  himself  better  suited 
for  a  career  inside  politics. 

"  You  are  tit  to  go  to  Congress,  Mi\  Driuk- 
water," laughed  Josie ;  and  Hollowbread 
made  not  even  an  inward  protest  against 
the  remark,  merely  wincing  under  it  iu  si- 
lence. 

Then  writing  materials  were  produced, 
and  an  affidavit  of  painstaking  minuteness 
was  drawn  up,  the  lovely  claimant  suggest- 
ing as  many  carriages,  carts,  steeds,  and 
horned  cattle  as  she  deemed  necessary  to 
give  her  bill  a  respectable  outfit,  the  hereto- 
fore i>atriot  and  x^irate  acceding  to  as  many 
items  as  he  judged  credible,  and  the  Con- 
gressman herding  the  whole  multitude  on 
foolscap. 

Nest  the  two  men  went  to  the  office  of 
a  notary -public,  and  there  Mr.  Driukwater 
s'helped  him  God  in  due  form,  subsequent- 
ly receiving  a  roll  of  bills  from  Mr.  Hollow- 
bread,  and  tramping  homeward  well  content. 

Our  Congressional  lover  now  returned  to 
his  affianced  with  a  guilt  on  his  conscience 
proportioned  to  the  joy  iu  his  heart ;  but 
whatever  may  have  been  his  qualms,  they 
were  dissipated  by  the  reception  which  she 
gave  him  as  he  panted  into  the  tavern-par- 
lor, holding  out  the  affidavit. 

Withalittle  scream  of  gladness,  she  bound- 
ed into  his  arms,  kissed  his  crimson  and  pur- 
ple-veined cheek,  and  dropped  her  head  on 
his  shoulder. 

Never,  perhaps,  was  a  sinful  and  remorse- 
ful legislator  happier  than  Hollowbread  was 
iu  that  palpitating  moment.  Not  for  thirty 
years  had  ho  put  so  much  heart  into  a  kiss 
as  went  into  the  one  which  he  laid  on  those 
rosy  young  lips. 

The' embrace,  though  fervent,  was  brief, 
for  Josie  soon  had  enough  of  it.  She  drew 
herself  away  from  his  protuberant  advances 
with  the  somewhat  frigid  words,  applicable, 
not  to  the  hugging,  but  to  the  aifidavit : 
"  Oh,  what  a  piece  of  luck !" 

"To  tliiuk  that  this  good  fortune  should 
follow  inuuediately  upon  our  engagement  I" 
said  Hollowbread,  whom  love  and  happiness 
had  made  temporarily  religious,  or,  rather, 
superstitious.  It  did  not  occur  to  him  to 
suspect  that,  had  the  good  fortune  come 
first,  Providence  might  have  used  it  to  pre- 
vent the  engagement. 

"  How  quick  he  was  to  agree  to  the  riglit 
thing!"  answered  Josie,  who  could  hardly 
have  been  iu  a  pious  frame.  "  It  was  I  who 
brought  him  to  it,"  she  crowed,  gleefully. 


ignoring  her  advocate's  part  in  the  transac- 
tion. "  It  takes  a  woman  to  manage  a  man, 
even  when  he  is  as  old  as  Methuselah." 

"  Yes,  it  was  you  Avho  brought  him  to  it," 
conceded  Hollowbread,  quite  willing  that 
she  should  have  the  whole  of  that  woeful 
honor,  but  at  the  same  time  cai'essiug  her 
glossy  locks  with  an  approving  and  iiettiug 
hand. 

"  There !"  said  Josie,  drawing  still  farther 
away.  "I  mustn't  let  you  muss  my  hair; 
somebody  might  come  iu.  Now  do  sit  down 
and  cipher  up  what  it  will  come  to." 

Somewhat  hurt  by  this  mercenarj'  haste 
and  coldness,  Mr.  Hollowbread  took  out  a 
gold  pencil,  which  had  come  to  him  from 
the  cornucopia  of  Congressional  stationery 
— a  pencil  which  had  often  served  him  to 
scribble  projects  of  laws  and  of  amendments 
to  our  venerated  Constitution — and  proceed- 
ed to  figure  up  the  i)robable  jirofits  of  Mr. 
Drinkwater's  false  swearing. 


CHAPTER  XXXV. 

THE  TROUBLES    OF  AN  ENGAGED  MAN. 

Our  Congressman  was  not  quite  as  hap- 
py during  his  return  journey  to  Washington 
as  an  accepted  lover  has  a  j)resumed  right 
to  be. 

They  were  always  iu  crowded  convey- 
ances, where  betrothal  bussings  were  out  of 
the  question,  and  squeezings  of  the  hand 
scarcely  more  practicable ;  and,  moreover, 
Mr.  Hollowbread  found  —  whatever  other 
and  younger  gentlemen  may  have  found  be- 
fore him — that  Josie  did  not  seem  to  be  one 
of  the  snuggling  sort. 

She  sat  a  little  apart  from  liiiu,  with  a  wide 
crack  of  daylight  always  between  them, 
keeping  her  fingers  carefully  gloved  and  be- 
yond the  reach  of  his  pnljiy  grasp,  and,  iu 
sliort,  enforcing  a  disagreeably  high-toned 
decorum. 

Her  talk,  too,  was  of  the  same  unaffianced 
character,  consisting  largely  of  remarks  upon 
interesting  objects  by  the  wayside,  and  nev- 
er intentionally  approaching  any  topic  more 
emotional  than  "  her  money." 

If  ho  spoke  of  his  love,  she  answered  him 
with  merely  a  steady,  studious  gaze,  and  .a 
smile  which  would  have  appeared  to  any 
one  else  either  roguish  or  downright  quiz- 
zical. If  he  pressed  her  to  name  the  mar- 
riage-day, she  laughed  gayly  and  responded 
evasively  ;  or  she  seized  the  opportunity  to 
impress  upon  him  once  more  a  duty  which 
he  already  held  in  abomination — the  duty  of 
keeping  the  eugagemeut  a  secret  until  her 
claim  should  bo  secured. 

"  Pour  oicoiiraf/cr  Ics  aiifrcs,"  she  explained, 
with  a  nuM'riment  that  seemed  to  liim  al- 
most heartless.     "  If  i^eople  should  find  out 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


121 


that  I  am  proinisecl  to  yoii,tlicj"  might  euro 
just  enoiigli  about  it  to  vote  against  me." 

Necessaiily,  even  an  old  lover  could  not 
be  charmetl  with  these  proprieties  and  jjre- 
cautions.  To  bo  sure,  ho  thought  her  beau- 
tiful in  all  that  she  did,  and  fascinatingly 
clover  in  all  that  she  said ;  but,  ucvcrthe- 
less,  ho  Avas  not  ({uito  as  happy  during  every 
minute  of  his  betrothal  as  he  had  supposed 
that  he  should  be.  Then  came  a  railroad 
accident.  Two  hundred  passengers  were 
tiunbled  off  the  track  in  a  bunch,  witliout 
damage,  indeed,  to  life  or  limb,  but  with  the 
loss  of  a  counectiou. 

Mr.  HoUowbread  and  Josio  had  to  take 
up  for  the  night  with  such  quarters  as  they 
could  iind  in  the  Fenu  House,  in  the  little 
town  of  Keystone. 

Ho  would  have  liked  this  detention  im- 
meusely,  only  that  his  carcass  had  beeu 
bruised  and  his  nerves  badly  shaken  by  the 
upset,  so  that  he  felt  like  anointing  himself 
and  going  to  bed,  rather  than  sitting  up  to 
make  love  in  a  populous  parlor. 

Josie,  also,  was  so  far  tired  that  she  went 
to  her  hen-coop  of  a  room  early,  forgetting,  or 
deliberately  neglecting,  to  press  her  lover's 
baud  at  parting. 

So  Mr.  HoUowbread  limped  up  to  his  own 
hen-coop,  and  made  his  somewhat  elaborate 
preparations  for  rest.  Among  his  necessa- 
ries was  a  vessel  of  the  kind  known  to  Con- 
gressmen as  a  quart  bottle.  He  surely  need- 
ed something  strong,  if  ever  a  man  did ;  and 
he  always  carried  his  own  strength,  to  be 
sure  of  a  good  article.  This  bottle  he  took 
from  his  carpet-bag,  with  sincere  thankful- 
ness that  it  had  not  been  broken,  and  placed 
it  on  his  almost  imperceptible  night-table, 
a  diminutive  skeleton  with  rattling  lower 
limbs.  Tlien  he  perceived  that  he  had  no 
ice-water,  and  rang  his  bell  some  minutes  for 
a  servant  who  did  not  come.  At  last,  finding 
it  chilly  standing  there  without  a  dressing- 
gown,  he  gave  the  bell-cord  a  superhuman 
jerk,  and  got  into  bed.  Shortly  afterward 
heavy  steps  ascended  the  neighboring  stair- 
way, marched  with  provoking  deliberation 
down  the  hall,  and  in  due  course  of  time 
marched  by  his  room. 

♦'  I  say  ! "  called  Mr.  HoUowbread,  out  of 
patience  and  indignant.     "  I  say !'' 

The  steps  halted,  and  then  tramped  loud- 
ly back  ;  the  door  was  flung  open  violently, 
as  if  by  the  lurch  of  some  heavy  body  ;  and 
Mr.  HoUowbread  beheld  before  him  an  in- 
toxicated gentleman  of  flashy  costume,  her- 
culean proportions,  and  ferocious  counte- 
nance. 

"You  say!  What  do  you  say?''  roared 
this  alarming  visitor,  advancing  toward  the 
sheeted  and  blanketed  and  counterpaued 
lawgiver,  and  shaking  a  huge  bediamonded 
fist  at  his  horror-stricken  visage.  "What 
do  you  mean,  sir,  by  calling  to  a  gentleman 
in  that  style  ?     You  say,  do  you  ?     So  do  I 


wy,  sir.  I  say  you  arc  an  impudent  ass,  sir. 
What  do  you  mean  by  lying  there  in  bed, 
and  hollering  I  say  at  a  gentleman  who  in 
going  by  1  Can't  a  man  pass  your  door  in  a 
quiet,  inoflensive  manner,  witliout  your  sass- 
ing  him  ?  what  do  you  mean  by  it,  sir  ?  Do 
you  want  to  pick  a  light  with  me?  Get  up 
and  go  at  it,  then." 

But  as  Mr.  HoUowbread  did  not  want  to 
pick  a  tight,  aiul  was  in  no  proper  condition 
to  get  up  to  go  at  it,  he  declined  the  chival- 
rous invitation. 

"I  did  not  speak  to  you  at  all,  sir,"  he 
said,  with  some  appearance  of  spirit,  though 
really  he  was  a  good  deal  scared.  "  I  took 
you  for  a  waiter." 

"Took  me  for  a  waiter!  Took  me  for  a 
nigger!"  exclaimed  the  stranger,  Avith  an 
emphasis  on  the  word  "nigger,"  which  at 
once  suggested  a  Southern  lineage.  "  Took 
me  for  a  nigger,  hey !  I've  the  greatest 
mind  in  the  world  to  shoot  you,"  he  added, 
pulling  out  a  revolver  and  aiming  at  our 
worthy  member.  "  I  could  shoot  you,  sir. 
I  could  shoot  you  on  the  spot,  sir.  It's  bard 
work  not  to  shoot  you,  sir.  By  the  Lord,  sir, 
I  don't  know  why  I  shouldn't  shoot  you." 

"  Good  heavens !  don't  blow  my  brains  out 
in  bed!"  stuttered  HoUowbread,  very  eager, 
of  course,  to  get  a  hearing. 

"  I  won't  blow  your  brains  out  in  bed." 
magnanimously  declared  the  flashy  gentle- 
man. "  I'll  blow  your  brains  out  of  bed. 
What  a  mark  your  great  red  face  is !  I  can 
hardly  help  firing  at  it." 

The  besieged  legislator  had  an  impulse 
to  pull  his  face  under  the  bedclothes,  com- 
bined with  a  spasmodic  desire  to  jump  up 
and  run  out  of  the  room.  But,  of  course,  the 
most  natural  thing  for  a  dignified  gentle- 
man in  a  recumbent  position  to  do  was  to 
essay  further  expostulation. 

"I  assure  you  that  I  was  not  speaking  to 
yon  at  all,"  he  urged.  "  I  rang  for  some  ice- 
water,  and  when  I  heard  you  passing,  I 
thought  it  might  be  coming.  I  am  not  the 
kind  of  person  to  go  abo'ut  insulting  people 
and  picking  chances  to  fight.  I  am  a  mem- 
ber of  Congress." 

"A  member  of  Congress!"  grunted  the 
visitant.  "That's  nothing.  I  am  a  mem- 
ber of  Congress  myself.  That's  nothing. 
But  you  are  a  member  of  Congress,  are  you  ? 
Who  the  deuce  are  you,  then?  Wliy,  good 
Lord,  I  believe  it's  HoUowbread  I  I'm  glad 
to  see  you,  HoUowbread.  How  the  deuce 
should  I  recognize  yon  in  bed?" 

"  Is  it— is  it — Senator  Rigdou  ?"  asked  Mr. 
HoUowbread,  who  knew  that  member  of  the 
upper  house  not  at  all,  and  had  only  taken 
nt)te  of  his  person  cursorily. 

"  To  be  sure  it  is,"  answered  the  Southern- 
er, beaming  with  joy.  "  Pickens  Eigdon,  at 
your  service.  Delighted— overjoyed  to  see 
you,  my  honorable  cotifrere.     Shake  hands." 

So  they  exchanged  that  sign  of  good-fel- 


l->2 


PLAYIXG  THE  MISCHIEF. 


lowsliip,  Mr.  Hollowbread  lying  on  bis  back, 
and  looking  up  witb  some  visible  disgust  at 
his  new  acquaintance,  while  the  latter,  re- 
volver tucked  under  his  arm,  "weeved"  dan- 
gerously over  him,  his  inflamed  foce  full  of 
geniality. 

•'Are  you  drunk,  too,  Hollowbread  f '  went 
on  the  senator.  "By-the-way,  so  am  I.  I 
came  here  druuk.  I  floated  here  on  a  pile 
of  whislcy.  I  meant  to  stop  at  Washing- 
ton. But  I  missed  it.  Couldn't  find  Wash- 
ington along  the  whole  route.  Washington 
is  busted  up  and  blown  away.  I'm  sorry  I 
left  it.  In  fact,  I  don't  know  why  I  ilid 
leave  it.  Anyhow,  I  can't  get  back  to  it. 
Washington  has  skedaddled  and  vamosed 
off  the  face  of  the  earth.  Nevermind.  The 
republic  is  saved.  Wherever  I  go  I  find 
this  great  republic,  overflowing  with  milk 
and  honey,  or,  in  other  words,  whisky.  So, 
not  being  able  to  discover  Washington,  I 
came  on  here.  Glad  to  find  you.  Hollow- 
bread — I'll  be  drawn  and  quartered  if  I  an't 
glad  to  find  you." 

It  will  be  observed  that  Mr.  Eigdon  was 
more  than  half-seas  over;  was  drunker  by 
several  seas,  or  one  might  say  several  oceans, 
than  when  we  last  listened  to  him  ;  and, 
though  still  capable  of  conscious  humor,  was 
far  beyond  the  line  of  sentimental  speech 
and  poetical  quotation. 

"I  am  sure  I  am  pleased  to  make  your 
acquaintance,"  murmured  Mr.  Hollowbread, 
meekly  and  falsely. 

"Are  you!"' exclaimed  the  senator,  joy- 
fully, giving  our  friend's  hand  a  fearful 
squeeze.  "  I'm  glad  of  it — glad  to  hear  you 
say  so.  I'll  sleep  with  you,  Hollowbread. 
By  George,  I  will — if  I  can  get  my  toggery 
off — and  I  will  if  I  can't.  You  don't  mind 
boots  in  bed,  do  yon,  old  fellow  ?  No  spurs 
on.  No;  you  sha'n't  be  kicked  in  your  in- 
nocent slumbers;  a  member  of  Congress 
sha'n't  run  such  a  dishonoring  risk.  I'll  ring 
for  a  waiter  to  undress  me.  I'll  tell  him  I'm 
a  fool  and  don't  know  how  to  take  my  tog- 
gery oft^  Lord!  how  the  nigger  will  stare  !" 
lie  chuckled.  "  Whereabouts  do  you  con- 
ceal your  blasted  bell-rope,  Hollowbread  ?" 

''  It  is  of  no  possible  use  ringing,  senator," 
urged  our  friend,  nearly  as  anxious  to  get 
rid  of  his  caller  as  when  the  latter  was 
threatening  to  shoot  him.  What  if  the  man 
should  actually  go  to  bed  with  him,  and  then 
pick  another  quarrel,  or  perhaps  fire  ofl'  a 
few  barrels  by  accident?  "I  told  you,"  he 
added,  "  that  I  had  been  ringing  half  an 
hour  for  ice- water,  without  getting  it." 

"  Can't  get  any  ice-water,  Hollowbread  !"' 
exclaimed  Mr.  Eigdon,  with  indignant  sym- 
pathy. "My  friend  and  brother  legislator 
can't  get  any  ice-water!  By  George,  I'll  see 
to  that.  I'll  see  that  these  lazy  scoundrels 
bring  you  ice -water.  I'll  get  you  a  hogs- 
head of  ice-water." 

He  wheeled  around,  knocked  down  a  chair 


which  upheld  Mr.  Hollowbread's  raiment, 
and  fell  prostrate  over  that  wondrous  mass 
of  broadcloth  and  sartorial  machinery.  Then 
he  arose  slowly  and  spent  half  a  minute  in 
trying  to  kick  the  ruin  out  of  his  way,  while 
the  owner  thereof  looked  on  in  silence,  trem- 
bling for  his  pads  and  s^irings  and  pulleys. 
At  last  the  senator  got  into  the  hall,  leaned 
in  a  most  startling  fashion  over  the  stair- 
way-railing, and  commenced  shouting  to  the 
regions  below. 

"  Hi !  Hullo  down  there !"  he  bawled. 
"  Hurry  up,  you  yardful  of  niggers !  Here's 
a  gentleman — here's  my  friend,  the  Honor- 
able Mr.  Hollowbread,  choking  to  death  for 
some  ice-water !" 

"  Good  gracious !  will  she  hear  the  brute  ?" 
thought  our  affianced  lover,  referring  to  Jo- 
sie. 

"  I  say,  where  is  that  yardful  of  niggers  ? 
Hurry  up  with  that  ice-water!  Hurry  up, 
or  I'll  fire !" 

No  answer  being  audible  (they  were  in  the 
fifth  story),  he  turned  to  his  brother  Con- 
gressman, waving  his  revolver  in  a  manner 
which  might  have  dismayed  the  bravest  be- 
holder, and  said : 

"Don't  be  anxious,  Hollowbread.  Yon 
shall  have  your  ice  -  water.  I'll  go  down 
there  and  get  after  those  niggers.  Be  easy, 
Hollowbread  ;  rely  upon  Eigdon.  I'll  have 
your  ice -water  up  hei'e  if  I  shoot  every 
scoundrel  in  the  hotel,  from  the  gentleman- 
ly proprietor  to  the  bootblack.  No  man 
shall  suffer  for  ice-water  while  I  can  help  it. 
You  shall  get  your  pitcher  slojiping  full,  if 
they  have  to  freeze  the  ice  for  it.  Don't  be 
afraid,  Hollowbread;  I'll  be  back  in  a  min- 
ute." 

Then  lie  was  heard  descending  the  stairs, 
threatening  and  swearing  all  down  the  four 
flights.  The  moment  he  was  out  of  hear- 
ing, Hollowbread  got  up  with  an  alacrity 
unusual  in  him,  hurried  to  the  door,  shut  it 
softly,  and  locked  it. 

Senator  Eigdon  made  a  tremendous  row 
at  the  office,  threatening  to  break  the  skull 
of  every  colored  person  whom  he  set  eyes 
on,  and  was  not  pacified  until  the  grinning 
clerk  promised  that  every  guest  in  the  house 
should  at  once  have  a  pitcher  of  ice-water, 
by  way  (the  senator  said)  of  acknowledg- 
ment and  indirect  damages. 

This  business  transacted,  he  fell  into  an 
amicable  conversation  with  the  bar-keeper, 
forgot  his  imrpose  of  sleeping  with  our  hero, 
Hollowbread,  and  Avas  eventually  borne  to 
repose  in  his  own  compartment  of  the  attic. 

Will  it  be  believed  that  Josie  Murray  was 
an  auditor  of  this  drama  ;  that  during  near- 
ly the  whole  of  it  she  stood  holding  her  door 
ajar,  listening  and  giggling ;  and  that,  far 
from  abhorring  the  inebriated  Eigdon,  she 
perverse]}^  longed  to  make  his  acquaintance  ? 
She  was  all  eyes  and  ears  next  morning  when 
he  stalked  into  the  breakfast-room  and  took 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


123 


1)18  seat  noar  tlicm  at  tablo.  Surely  lie  would 
do  or  say  something  amusing,  something  to 
gratify  her  keen  sense  of  the  humorous  and 
•her  taste  for  moral  oddit  ies.  lie  disajjpoint- 
ed  her,  ho  astonished  her,  and  yet  he  pleased 
her.  Wo  have  seen  this  speeimcn  of  the 
ruder  Southern  gentry  "disguised;"  wo  have 
seen  him  about  as  drunk  as  he  could  stag- 
ger ;  now  we  are  to  see  him  sober. 

He  recognized  Hollowbread  and  Mrs.  Mur- 
ray at  once,  and,  having  some  dim,  awkward 
recollection  of  the  scene  of  the  night  before, 
he  would  have  been  pleased  to  avoid  them ; 
but  they  were  all  three  late  together,  and  he 
was  obliged  to  place  himself  near  them  at 
the  laggards'  table. 

Josie,  who  easily  divined  his  embarrass- 
ment, absolutely  admired  the  manner  in 
which  he  bore  it.  He  did  not  speak  ;  ho  did 
far  bettor.  He  made  a  bow  which  was  not  a 
claim  of  acquaintance,  but  an  apology  for 
intrusion  and  for  all  possible  offense,  past  or 
present.  Then  he  sat  him  down  unconfused, 
decorous,  solemn,  huge,  and  magnificent.  A 
rude  mountaineer  hy  birth,  he  had  neverthe- 
less saught  somewhat  of  the  grace  of  the  old- 
time  Southern  gentleman,  that  sedate,  ur- 
bane, and  chivalrous  image  which  he  had 
reverenced  during  all  his  youth,  and  which 
he  still  considered  the  noblest  specimen  of 
humanity  conceivable. 

Nor  was  there  a  break  in  his  lion-like  dig- 
nity while  he  remained  at  table.  There  was 
no  noisiness  and  no  fidgeting ;  he  was  as 
proper  as  a  soldier  on  dress-parade ;  he  was 
as  calm  as  Buddha.  His  orders  to  the  wait- 
er were  given  in  a  mellow  bass  murmur,  and 
with  an  almost  elaborate  civility  of  diction. 
He  called  the  gray-headed  fellow  "  boy,"  and 
yet  he  won  his  eager  good -will  at  once. 
Doubtless  this  "boy"  had  been  a  slave;  he 
had  been  ruled,  bought  and  sold,  perhaps 
whipped,  by  the  sort  of  man  before  him  ;  yet 
he  recognized  the  old  master-type  with  in- 
stant respect,  obsequiousness,  and  fiiendli- 
ness  ;  he  needed  but  a  word  of  kindness  from 
it,  and  he  was  its  bondsman  once  more. 

Josie  noted  this  circumstance  promptly, 
and  was  much  impressed  by  it.  There  is 
perhaps  no  surer  passport  to  a  woman's  con- 
sideration than  showing  that  you  can  easily 
win  the  respect  of  men.  In  our  country  one 
of  the  severest  tests  of  this  faculty  is  the  se- 
curing of  civil  attention  from  the  so-called 
lower  classes.  How  they  do  love  to  take 
down  the  pride  of  gentlemen  and  the  A'anity 
of  ladies ! 

This  same  "boy"  had  been  negligent  to- 
ward Mr.  Hollowbread,  and  sulky  with  oth- 
er guests ;  yet  when  the  Southerner  gently 
beckoned  to  him,  he  seemed  ready  to  crouch 
and  wriggle  like  a  spaniel.  Mrs.  Murray 
could  not  help  granting  her  esteem  and  ad- 
miration to  this  gentleman,  who  had  been  so 
ridiculously  drunk  the  evening  previous. 

Even  Mr.  Hollowbread  was  impressed,  part- 


ly with  the  same  feeling  of  respect  and  part- 
ly with  satisfaction.  Ho  looked  upon  Kig- 
don's  air  of  restraint  and  decorum  as  a  sort 
of  apology  to  himself  for  the  spree  in  his  bed- 
room. Moreover,  the  fellow  was  at  any  rate 
a  senator,  and  it  was  well  to  have  fritmds  in 
the  other  House.  So  he  at  last  decided  to 
smile,  and  say : 

"I  believe,  Senator  Rigdon,that  wo  liavo 
met  before.  Allow  mo  to  recall  myself  to 
you  as  Mr.  Hollowbread." 

"  I  am  charmed  to  continue  the  acquaint- 
ance, Mr.  Hollowbread,"  bowed  Eigdon,  with- 
out making  any  allusion  to  the  previous 
meeting,  concerning  which  he  in  fact  re- 
membered very  little.  "  I  have  long  wished 
to  know  you  more  intimately." 

Next,  obedient  to  a  glance  from  Josie,  Hol- 
lowbread added : 

"  Mr.  Eigdon,  Mrs.  Murray — a  niece  of  Col- 
onel Julian  Murray,"  he  explained,  with  a 
little  excusable  pomposity  over  the  respect- 
able relationship.  "Mrs.  Murray  had  the 
good  fortune  to  escape  from  the  same  rail- 
road accident  which  detained  me  here.  We 
shall  go  on  to  Washington  together,  I  sup- 
pose." 

"  It  will  give  me  great  pleasure  to  be  al- 
lowed to  join  you,"  said  the  senator,  bowing 
to  Josie  so  gracefully  and  deferentially  that 
she  wanted  to  flirt  with  him  at  once.  "I 
have  often  observed  Mrs.  Murray  in  Wash- 
ington society.  I  hope  she  will  pardon  me 
if  I  confess  that  I  have  drunk  to  her  in  the 
words  of  rinckney's  fiimous  toast.  You  re- 
member how  it  runs,  Mrs.  Murray  :  'A  wom- 
an, of  her  gentle  sex  the  seeming  paragon.' 
I  drank  it  at  a  distance  and  in  silence. 
There  is  an  air  of  exaggeration  about  it,  you 
think  ?  Well,  I  am  a  Southerner,  and  say 
Avhat  I  feel.     You  must  pardon  me." 

"  I  pardon,"  laughed  Josie,  meanwhile  sus- 
pecting that  he  had  taken  a  cocktail,  though 
he  had  not.  Perhaps  the  residuary  fumes  of 
last  evening's  whiskies  had  made  him  some- 
what more  audacious  and  fervent  in  speech 
than  he  would  have  been  naturally.  Per- 
haps the  hyperbolical  compliment  was  only 
an  outbreak  of  that  "  hifalutiu  "  which  be- 
longs to  a  certain  uncultivated  type  of  the 
eloquent  Southerner.  It  is,  however,  the 
honest  truth  that  Eigdon  had  really  drunk 
the  toast  in  question  (and  copiouslj^,  too), 
and  that  he  fervently  admired  at  least  the 
outer  womanhood  of  Mrs.  Murray. 

Well,  the  breakfast  passed  very  pleasant- 
ly, and  it  was  decided  that  they  should  voy- 
age in  company.  Of  course  this  was  not 
what  Hollowbread  wanted,  and  he  sought, 
in  a  timorous  way,  to  evade  it ;  but  it  hap- 
pened all  the  same.  Josie,  the  adroit  little 
flirt,  managed  it  easily. 

"Oh,  you  brazen  thing!"  she  said  to  her 
lover,  when  they  were  left  alone  at  table. 
"  You  had  a  dreadful  spree  with  that  man 
last  night,  and  here  you  meet  as  if  you  had 


124 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


never  seen  eacTi  other  before,  and  put  on  such 
a  delndiug  air  of  innocence!  All!  you  are 
all  alike,  you  men.  There  is  no  getting  to 
the  bottom  of  you.  Below  each  deep  a  deep- 
er still." 

In  vain  did  Hollowbread  j)rotest  his  in- 
nocence of  spreeing,  and  tell  the  true  story 
of  his  ludicrous  bedroom  adventure.  She 
pretended  for  a  time  not  to  believe  him,  then 
she  put  on  a  pitiful  air  of  trying  to  believe 
him,  but  in  vain  ;  and,  dear  me,  such  a  touch- 
ing look  of  anxious  doubt  as  there  was  in 
her  eyes !  It  seemed  to  Hollowbread  that 
she  was  on  the  point  of  bursting  into  tears 
with  aftectiouate  terror  lest  he  were  deceiv- 
ing her,  and  should  prove  to  be  a  man  of 
debauched  habits.  He  was  sincerely  dis- 
tressed by  her  sham  suspicions,  and  ready 
to  do  any  thing  to  soothe  and  please  her. 

"  I  am  sorry  I  introduced  the  beast  to 
you,"  he  said,  humbly.  "  The  comradeship 
which  Congressmen  feel  bound  to  concede 
to  each  other  is  my  only  excuse  for  it.  We 
must  try  to  drop  him — give  him  the  cold 
shoulder — get  shut  of  him !" 

"Oh,  we  can't  do  that!"  cried  Josie,  with 
ah  alarmed  dilation  of  her  eyes.  "  We  can't 
cut  a  senator,  and  my  claim  coming  on !" 

"  But  after  his  outrageous  behavior  last 
night,  in  the  hearing  of  scores  of  people  ?" 
argued  Hollowbread. 

"  That  is  the  very  reason,"  insisted  Josie. 
"He  would  understand  our  cutting  him  all 
the  easier.  We  must  not  have  the  least  air 
of  avoiding  him.  I  think,  in  fact,  that  we 
ought  to  urge  him  to  sit  with  us,  and  treat 
him  in  every  way  as  civilly  as  possible." 

So  Senator  Rigdon  traveled  with  them  all 
the  way  to  Washington,  sitting  on  the  same 
seat  with  Mrs.  Murray,  and  holding  long 
coquettish  dialogues  with  her,  while  j)Oor 
Hollowbread  putfed  to  and  fro  on  her  er- 
rands. 

Actually  our  love-lorn  legislator  reached 
home  without  getting  a  kiss  from  hia  be- 
trothed since  that  happy  moment  when  he 
lianded  her  Jeremiah  Drinkwater's  affidavit. 

Nevertheless,  ho  was  her  dmc  damnee ;  ho 
continued  to  work  at  her  scandalous  busi- 
ness with  tlie  devotion  which  love  inspires; 
he  went  before  the  Spoliations  Committee 
with  a  demand  for  something  like  one  hun- 
dred thousand  dollars. 


CHAPTER  XXXVI. 

JOSIE    SPEAKS    OUT. 

Weeks  passed,  and  Josie  still  held  on  to 
Mr.  Hollowbread,  though  in  a  sort  of  aruis- 
lengtli  fashion,  much  as  one  might  hold  on 
to  a  soiled  but  necessary  walking-stick. 

What  did  she  Avant  of  himf  Well,  her 
desires  might  be  described  as  "  human  wa- 


rious,"  or  perhaps  we  ought  to  say,  feminine 
warious. 

When  she  was  in  low  spirits  about  her 
claim,  she  feebly  wanted  to  espouse  him,  to 
spend  his  income  briskly,  and  to  inherit  his 
capital  promptly.  What  else  can  a  young 
lassie  want  of  an  auld  man  who  insists  upon 
being  a  lover  ? 

In  general,  however,  she  merely  wished 
him  to  secure  her  money  for  her,  and  then 
to  take  his  dyed  hair  and  corseted  carcass 
out  of  her  sight  forever.  There  were  mo- 
ments when  she  looked  forward  to  the  pos- 
sibility of  giving  herself  up  to  him  with  a 
natural,  plaintive,  almost  convulsive  loath- 
ing, which  calls  for  one's  instinctive  if  not 
reasonable  sympathy. 

Meantime,  she  yearned  after  somebody 
else  with  a  constancy  and  a  fervor  which 
were  in  themselves  beautiful  enough.  When- 
ever she  let  Hollowbread  kiss  her  (which 
blessing  came  his  way  not  ofteuer  than  once 
a  week),  she  had  an  abstracted,  tender, 
dreamy  look ;  she  was  thinking  of  Bradford. 
Through  many  a  nightly  hour,  also,  after  her 
betrothed  had  taken  his  arctic  shoes  cau- 
tiously down  the  ice  of  the  Murray  steps, 
she  lay  awake  to  whisper  the  name  of  the 
man  whom  she  loved,  and  to  indulge  in  rev- 
cries  about  him  which,  could  they  have  been 
known  to  the  man  who  loved  her,  would 
have  filled  him  with  amazement  and  an- 
guish. 

Of  course,  Bradford  seemed  all  the  more 
desirable  to  this  born  coquette  because  she 
could  not  get  him.  What  she  was  mainly 
in  love  with  was  the  actual  business  of 
making  love;  and  the  more  difficult  any 
special  flirtation  appeared,  the  more  it  fas- 
cinated her.  Had  her  longed-for  Edgar 
gone  on  his  knees  to  her  in  the  humble  and 
faithful  style  of  that  idolatrous  old  Hollow- 
bread, it  is  likely  that  her  eyes  would  soon 
have  been  wandering  after  other  men,  and 
that  her  little  bigamist  of  a  heart  would 
have  followed  her  glance. 

But  Bradford,  though  he  sometimes  came 
to  see  her,  did  not  do  much  in  the  Avay  of 
courtship.     He  was  afraid  of  her  ;  ho  dread- 
ed lest,  if  ho  fell  in  love  with  her,  she  should^ 
make  a  lobbying  member  of  him ;  and  weJ 
remember  that  ho  wanted,  above  all  things^ 
to  be  an  honorable  man  among  men. 

Is  it  not,  by-the-way,  very  singular  that 
he  should  have  feared  her  power,  when  he 
was   so  well   acquainted   with   her   faults t| 
He  had  watched  her  w.ays  so  long,  and  studied 
her  character  so  carefully,  that  he  knew  her| 
perfectly,  in  theory.     He  knew  what  a  bort 
and  practiced  llirt  she  was;  ho  knew  thatl 
she  was  pushing  her  claim  in  spite  of  hcr| 
promises;  ho  know  that  she  was  ungrateful 
to  the  Murrays;  ho  knew  that  she  told  fibs;" 
he  knew  worse. 

And  yet  she  was  so  pretty,  graceful, 
sweet-mannered,  sweet-tempered,   alluring, 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


123 


inflammatory,  that  ho  could  not  dislike  her, 
nor  scarcely  keep  from  loving  her.  It  seem- 
ed to  him  at  times  that  the  most  deliglitful 
thing  in  the  ^-orld  to  do  -vvonld  Lo  to  shut 
his  eyes  to  her  defects  and  to  let  her  deceive 
him  into  the  belief  that  she  was  good,  as  she 
had  deceived  her  husband.  Now  and  then, 
also,  there  came  up  the  old  llatteriug  delu- 
sion that  for  his  sake  she  might  become 
trustworthy  and  worshipful.  Probably  the 
only  thing  which  kept  him  at  a  safe  distance 
from  her,  spiritually,  was  her  claim. 

It  is  true  that  meanwhile  he  visited,  ad- 
mired, and  in  a  manner  worsliiped  that  np- 
right  and  candid  soul  which  had  its  abode 
in  the  handsome  figure  of  Belle  "Warden. 
But  there  also  was  a  claim.  Poor  Mrs. 
Warden  was  intriguing  with  committees  as 
scandalously  as  Mrs.  Murray;  and,  more- 
over, she  was  such  a  grinning,  frisking, 
flirting,  worrying  creature ;  such  an  un- 
suitable mother-in-law  for  a  fiistidious  man 
and  honorable  legislator!  In  short,  there 
were  so  great  objections  to  both  Belle  and 
Josie,  that  Bradford  could  not  for  the  pres- 
ent make  up  his  scruimlous  mind  to  want 
either  of  them. 

The  lovely  Murray  snS'ered  from  this  state 
of  things,  but  she  had  too  much  vitality  to 
let  it  paralyze  her.  As  Bradford  did  not 
do  any  courtship  which  could  inspire  a  com- 
fortable hope,  she  looked  out  a  little,  or, 
rather,  a  good  deal,  for  other  admirers. 

She  made  poor  Hollowbread  very  jealous 
by  the  way  in  which  she  flirted  with  Messrs. 
Drummoud,  Beauman,  Bray,  Clavers,  even 
with  the  married  Rigdon,  and  even  with 
Mrs.  John  Vane's  senator,  Ironman.  The 
audacity  of  her  coquetries,  indeed,  was  suf- 
ficient to  fill  with  affliction  not  only  souls 
whicli  loved  her,  but  also  souls  whicli  mere- 
ly love  wisdom  in  woman. 

With  the  Apollonian  Beauman,  for  in- 
stance, she  had  an  adventure  in  the  cupola 
of  the  Capitol,  which  a  certain  tattling  jan- 
itor narrated  to  Squire  Nancy  Appleyard, 
and  which  that  imbittered  Bloomer  report- 
ed about  Washington  with  outrageous  ex- 
aggerations, believing'the  while  all  her  in- 
ventions because  they  seemed  to  her  proba- 
ble. What  the  janitor  actually  saw  was  a 
masculine  arm  around  a  feminine  waist ; 
and,  of  course,  it  might  have  been  there  for 
the  mere  purposes  of  support  and  protec- 
tion ;  so  many  people  are  dizzy  in  the  gal- 
lery of  the  cupola ! 

But  Josie,  lady-like  as  she  was  in  some 
matters,  had  a  certain  deserved  fame  for 
reckless  sparkings,  so  that  Miss  Nancy's 
suspicions  were  partly  justifiable. 

There  is  an  excuse  for  these  coquetries  of 
Josie's,  quite  aside  from  the  fact  that  they 
were  born  in  her  and  must  make  issue  under 
temptation,  like  chickens  pecking  out  of  a 
sTiell  at  the  sunnnons  of  heat.  Her  engage- 
ment ofttimes  weighed  upon  her  like  a  witch 


incubus,  sucking  the  blood  of  gladness  and 
hope  out  of  all  her  life,  and  causing  it  to 
seem  a  flaccid  failure.  The  past,  with  its 
flighty,  imprudent,  and  unlucky  "poor  Au- 
gustus," with  its  short,  foolish  dream  of 
splendor,  and  its  awakening  of  impoverish- 
ed widowhood,  had  not  surely  been  enough 
of  a  success  to  suffice  a  handsome  and  clever 
woman.  And  how  could  the  future  look 
jocund,  or  satisfactory,  or  even  tolerable  to 
her,  when  it  advanced  upon  her  in  the  pon- 
derous guise  of  Mr.  Hollowbread? 

Remember  how  the  young,  especially  such 
as  have  no  urgent  and  continuous  work  to 
do,  are  haunted  by  this  consciousness  or 
suspicion  of  failure  !  They  had  expected — 
these  new-born  and  insatiable  souls — that 
Time  would  bring  every  hour  a  fresh  joy, 
and  behold,  he  is  often  but  a  burden  and  a 
bore  !  It  seems  to  them  as  if  life  were  like 
one  of  those  mocking  goblets  in  which  you 
can  see  the  wine,  but  can  not  taste  it. 

Thus  did  Josie  often  feel,  even  when  she 
forgot  her  sexagenarian  betrothed ;  and 
when  she  remembered  him,  her  dejection 
only  changed  in  becoming  a  foreboding. 
At  times  she  rose,  or  appeared  to  herself  to 
rise,  to  the  altitude  of  desiieration.  Were 
there  no  "snips  and  snails,  and  puppy-dogs' 
tails"  of  happiness  to  be  picked  up  some- 
how I  If  it  was  not  to  be  had  in  solid,  in- 
exhaustible veins,  could  she  not  snatch  and 
steal  a  little  hero  and  there  ?  Any  thing  to 
break  the  doleful  spell  of  evasion  and  de- 
feat. Occasionally  it  seemed  as  if  the  scan- 
dal of  eloping  with  another  woman's  hus- 
band would  be  a  relief;  and  more  than  once 
she  caught  herself  wishing  that  some  strong, 
willful,  passionate  man  would  irresistibly 
run  away  with  her. 

Such  was  her  state  of  mind  —  a  state 
which  we  can  all  of  us  imagine  —  a  state 
tkrough  which  some  of  us  have  passed,  with 
or  without  shipwreck.  The  usual  remedies 
for  it  in  women  are  children  and  housekeep- 
ing ;  the  usual  remedj-  for  it  in  man  is 
steady,  hard  work  to  support  the  same. 

But  Josie  Murray  had  no  weapons  where- 
by to  tight  this  nightmare,  except  society 
and  flirting.  Hence  the  furore  with  which 
she  gave  herself  to  coquetry  when  she  found 
herself  alone  with  any  one  of  the  worldly 
gentlemen  Avho  delighted  in  her  company. 

Of  course  a  pure  soul  marvels  that  the 
thought  of  the  one  mau  whom  she  loved,  or 
whom  she  believed  that  she  loved,  should 
not  restrain  her. 

Well,  sometimes  she  said  to  herself,  "  It  is 
all  his  fault,"  and  therefore  fell  to  trifling 
with  a  sort  of  vindictiveness.  At  other 
times  the  remembrance  of  him  did  act  as  a 
hold-back ;  then  she  had  a  quiet,  pensive, 
ennobled  demeanor,  which  seemed  to  put  an 
iron  grate  between  her  and  Messrs.  Drum- 
moud, Bray,  and  Beauman  ;  and  then  those 
]  gentlemen  hud  a  turn   of  depression,  and 


UG 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


wanted — so  strange  is  tlie  human  heart — 
wanted  to  marry  her  ! 

At  last,  feeling  as  she  did  about  Bradford, 
the  time  came  when  she  let  him  know  her 
feelings.  They  were  alone  together,  like 
Fraucesca  da  Kimiui  and  Paolo,  and  they 
were  reading  one  book,  the  book  of  human 
nature. 

Edgar's  manner  of  reading  was  to  sit  close 
by  Josie,  fix  his  meditative  hazel  eyes  on  her 
handsome  face,  and  gently  hold  one  of  her 
hands  in  his,  meanwhile  talking  Platonic 
friendship  and  giving  advice.  Her  method 
was  to  return  his  gaze  of  benefaction  with 
glances  of  gratitude,  and  to  be  in  every 
other  way  as  tenderly  grateful  as  he  was 
tenderly  magnanimous. 

We  must  hasten  to  say,  however,  that  they 
did  not  look  "  spoony,"  nor  dribble  senti- 
mentalities. They  were  both  too  worldly, 
and  they  had  too  much  cleverness  and  sense 
of  humor,  to  let  themselves  drift  into  the 
ridiculous.  Much  of  their  dialogue  was  as 
sensible  as  one  is  apt  to  hear  in  fashionable 
society,  even  between  jieople  whose  object  it 
is  to  make  each  other's  time  pass  pleasantly. 

"  I  hear  that  you  have  been  driving  out 
with  Ironman,"  was  one  of  Bradford's  more 
serious  observations,  uttered  with  the  view 
of  introducing  a  lecture.  "  You  have 
smashed  Mrs.  John  Yane  in  society,  and  now 
you  are  attacking  her  stronghold.  I  suppose 
you  mean  to  make  a  full  end  of  her." 

"  Mrs.  John  Yane  maj'  be  trusted  to  make 
a  full  end  of  herself,"  returned  Josie,  amica- 
bly, though  she  disliked  to  be  coupled  with 
that  semi-vulgar  lady,  even  as  a  victorious 
rival.  "I  don't  see  how  Washington  can 
put  up  with  her  long." 

"  Then  why  not  let  her  fiill  the  length  of 
her  own  rope  ?  Why  trouble  yourself  to  as- 
sist in  the  hanging  ?" 

"  Because,  if  I  don't,  she  may  last  my 
time,  and  that  would  be  just  as  bad  for  me 
as  if  she  held  on  like  Methuselah.  Do  you 
let  General  Bangs  alone  ?  You  attack  him 
at  least  once  a  week.  Well,  Mrs.  J.  Y.  is  my 
General  Bangs.  She  is  a  coarse  corruption- 
ist,  aud  I  mean  to  expel  her  from  mj*  Con- 
gress." 

"I  never  believed  in  fighting  fire  with 
fire." 

"I  don't  flirt  witli  Mr.  Ironman ;  I  only 
entertain  him." 

"  But  people  who  entertain  the  senator  get 
a  name  for  being  too  amusing." 

"You  speak  i>lainly  enough.  Well,  I 
won't  drive  with  him  again,  if  you  don't 
wish  it." 

By  way  of  reward  for  this  promise  he 
pressed  her  hand  slightly.  He  was  always 
trying  to  reform  her  risky  ways,  partly  be- 
cause they  had  an  unreasonable  power  for 
making  him  je.alons,  aud  partly  because  he 
really  wanted  to  fit  her  for  his  right  honor- 
able aflectiou.     Yes,  he  was  tenderly  anx- 


ious (at  times)  to  get  her  good,  and  much 
pleased  when  he  seemed  to  make  any  head- 
way in  his  mission. 

"Is  the  sermon  over?"  asked  Josie. 
"  You  might  give  out  a  hymn  and  pronounce 
the  benediction." 

"You  must  remember  that  I  am  six  or 
eight  years  older  than  you  are.  Age  is  a 
natural  priesthood.  The  first  priest  was  the 
senior  member  of  the  first  family." 

"  What  an  awful  senior  member  you 
would  make !  What  an  awful  husband  I 
You  would  be  a  despot  always  on  his  throne." 

"  I  shall  have  to  stop  doing  you  good  if 
you  poke  fun  at  me." 

"I  am  not  poking  fun  at  you  ;  I  am  real- 
ly in  fear  of  you.  It  makes  me  tremble  in 
every  limb  to  think  what  a  husband  you 
have  the  making  of.  How  you  could  repri- 
mand a  wife !" 

She  smiled,  but  the  smilo  was  very  submis- 
sive and  tender,  suggesting  that  she  would 
bow  humbly  to  his  reproving,  and  would 
love  him  for  it.  The  word  icifc,  too,  utter- 
ed in  that  shy,  reverent  murmur  with  which 
she  spoke  it,  was  an  exceedingly  alluring, 
though  also  a  warning,  monosyllable.  He 
looked  at  her  yearningly,  thinking  what  a 
perfect  wife  she  would  be  if  she  were  only  as 
good  as  she  was  pretty,  and  longing  to  try  the 
adventurous  experiment  of  proving  how  far 
perfect  she  could  be.  Under  his  significant 
glance  Josie  blushed,  an  unusual  circum- 
stance with  her,  for  her  skin  was  dark  and 
her  soul  experienced. 

He  ought  to  have  seen,  and  indeed  he  did 
know  perfectly,  that  he  had  too  mighty  an 
influence  over  her  to  use  it  lightly,  without 
subjecting  himself  to  the  charge  of  egotism 
aud  cruelty.  But  he  remembered  her  sins 
against  other  men,  and  accorded  her  no  more 
mercy  than  coquettes  give. 

It  must  be  remembered  that  weeks  before 
this  she  had  forbidden  him  to  kiss  her,  and 
it  must  be  understood  that  up  to  this  time 
he    had   respected    the    injunction.      Now, 
however,  tempted  by  that  splendid  color  in 
her  face  and  by  her  air  of  inability  to  resist 
him,  he  seized  on  the  forbidden  fruit.     He    ■ 
drew  the  hand  which  he  held  ;  he  drew  her  I 
irresistibly  agaiust  his  shoulder;  he  kissed    i 
every  rose-leaf  of  the  blush,  aud  her  very 
lips. 

Josie,  throbbing  and  trembling  from  head 
to  foot,  was  in  a  tumult  of  happiness.  She 
scarcely  struggled  to  get  away  from  him ; 
there  was  too  much  expectation  and  hope 
in  her  for  movement;  she  waited  for  him  to 
speak. 

"  I  am  obliged  to  you,  my  dear  friend,"'  was 
Bradford's  disappointing  and  most  ungrate- 
ful utterance.  "  We  are  on  the  good,  sweet 
old  terms  once  more." 

With  a  violent  start  Josie  broke  away 
from  him,  flung  herself  upon  .an  isolated 
chair,  covered  her  face,  and  sobbed.     Her 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


127 


shame  aud  distress  ennobled  her,  and  for  the 
moment  she  had  the  beantiful  dignity  of 
great  grief,  the  beauty  which  belongs  to  a 
Niobe. 

"  I  liave  offended  yon,  Josie,"  he  said,  not 
a  little  impressed.     "  I  beg  your  pardon." 

She  dropped  her  hands,  stared  at  him  with 
indignant,  sparkling,  wet  eyes;  aud  broke 
out  on  him — as  he  deserved. 

"You  have  degraded  me!"  she  exclaimed. 
"Why  do  you  kiss  mo  when  you  mean  noth- 
ing? Don't  you  know  that  a  woman  who 
lets  a  man  do  that,  lets  him  do  it  because 
she — likes  him  ? — because  she  hopes  he  will 
not  stop  with  a  kiss  ?  Is  it  generous  of  you 
to  take  advantage  of  such  feelings,  such 
hopes  ?  Listen  to  me !"  she  commanded,  im- 
periously, while  a  tear  of  humiliation  roll- 
ed down  her  cheek.  "  I  have  something  to 
tell  you.  I  am  ashamed  to  say  it.  But  it 
is  your  fault.  You  drive  me  to  it  by  your 
treatment  of  me.  Besides,  we  are  old  friends, 
as  you  say  ;  we  can  talk  as  men  and  women 
can  not  generally  talk  to  each  other ;  wo  act 
and  hold  hands  and  kiss  like  old  friends, 
don't  we  ?  Why  not  say  what  we  think, 
then?  J  think— I  think— "  And  here  she 
faltered,  her  mouth  twitching  pitiably,  and 
her  eyes  avoiding  him  for  an  instant.  "  I 
think  that  you  treat  me  very  badly,"  she  re- 
sumed, with  an  effort  which  turned  her  pale. 
"  You  treat  me  badly  in  kissing  me  when  you 
mean  nothing  by  it.  I  let  you  do  it,  to  bo 
sure.  But  why  ?  It  is  because  I  hope  that 
each  kiss  will  be  followed  by  a  word ;  be- 
cause I  hope  you  are  going  to  tell  me  that 
you  love  me,  and  want  me — want  me  to  be 
your  wife.  If  I  had  thought  you  never 
meant  to  tell  me  that,  I  never  would  have 
let  you  touch  your  lips  to  me — never — nev- 
er !" 

She  clean  broke  down  here,  and  fell  into  a 
A'iolent  burst  of  weeping,  clenching  her  hands 
over  her  face,  and  sobbing  and  shaking  con- 
vulsively, like  any  honest,  little  wretched 
school-girl.  She  was  full  of  shame,  grief,  an- 
ger, love,  too,  agitations  of  all  sorts,  a  tumult 
of  emotions.  There  was  no  sham  about 
it;  she  was  not  playing  a  part  at  all ;  that 
we  must  understand  distinctly.  Indeed,  her 
power  of  flirtation  arose  largely  from  the  fact 
that  she  really  had  the  susceptibilities  which 
some  flirts  only  counterfeit,  and  that  these 
susceptibilities  were  easily  moved.  True, 
they  were  transitory,  if  we  do  not  misjudge 
her ;  she  was  one  of  the  shallow  skillets 
which  quickly  boil  over  aud  quickly  cool ; 
but,  all  the  same,  she  could  keep  herself  and 
her  intimates  in  hot  water.  AH  the  same, 
too,  she  was  very  scalding  and  thawing  when 
she  did  undertake  to  gush  over  a  man  in 
good  earnest. 

Meanwhile,  what  were  Bradford's  feelings 
aud  opinions  ?  Well,  without  trying  to  ex- 
cuse him  in  the  least,  aud  judging  indeed 
that  he  ought  to  have  taken  this  victim  of 


his  kissings,  we  must  aridly  state  that  he  was 
not  moved  so  to  do.  He  seemed  to  himself 
to  find  out  all  at  once  that  ho  did  not  love 
her  one  bit ;  and  ho  could  not  feel  a  desire, 
nor  even  a  willingness,  to  uplift  her  to  his 
heart,  and  ask  her  to  be  his  wife.  At  the 
same  time  he  was  painfully  confounded  .and 
humiliated;  he  would  have  been  glad  to 
break  through  the  floor  aud  fall  into  the 
cellar.  So  he  did  nothing  but  stare  at  her 
bowilderedly,  and  mutter  some  inaudible, 
unlinished  excuses. 

"  There !  you  can  make  me  crj'  like  a 
baby,"  resumed  Josio,  brushing  away  the 
tears  with  au  angry  dash  of  the  luvnd.  "Arc 
you  contented"?  Have  you  degraded  me 
enough  ?" 

"  1  have  degraded  myself  enough,"  answer- 
ed Bradford.  "  Aud  you  have  pointed  it  out 
to  mo  plainly  enough.  You  might  have 
spared  mo  this.  The  better  way  would 
have  been  to  send  me  off  long  ago." 

"  The  better  way  !"  she  burst  out.  "  Oh, 
you  mean  man !  You  have  the  face  to  re- 
proach me  )ww .'" 

"  I  do  not,"  he  interrupted  her.  "  I  have 
no  right  to  reproach  you.  I  reiiroach  my- 
self only." 

Josio  began  to  hope  again;  She  waited 
eagerly  for  his  next  word.  She  still  kept 
her  hands  pressed  against  her  quivering  face, 
but  they  were  all  ready  to  dart  out  and 
cling  around  him. 

"'  It  is  your  claim,"  he  said,  at  last.  "  You 
promised  to  give  that  up,  aud  you  have  not." 

"I  have  given  it  up,"  she  declared,  in  her 
desperation,  making  an  effort  to  meet  his 
gazo  boldly,  and  failing.     "  I  tell  you  I  liave." 

"  You  have  not,"  asserted  Bradford,  loud 
and  stern,  because  he  was  indignant  at  such 
brazen  falsifying. 

"If  they  are  prosecuting  it,  I  did  not 
know"  it,"  she  whimpered. 

"General  Ilornblower  told  mo  this  morn- 
ing that  you  called  on  him  about  it  yester- 
day," was  the  overwhelming  answer. 

She  looked  so  crushed  —  so  mean,  as  he 
harshly  put  it  to  himself — that  now  he  could 
quit  her.  Ho  picked  np  his  hat,  muttered 
a  "  good-morning,"  to  which  she  did  not  re- 
spond, aud  went  oft'  to  call  on  Belle  Warden. 


CHAPTER  XXXVII. 

A    FAMILY     QUARREL. 

TiiK  Murrays,  as  well  as  Bradford,  discov- 
ered about  these  times  that  Josie  was  still 
pursuing  her  barn  intrigue,  and,  like  him, 
they  manifested  what  she  considered  an 
nureasonablo  and  disagreeable  excitement 
about  it. 

It  was  not  the  young  Congressman  who 
had  exposed  her  to  them.  His  singular  con- 
science often  urged  him  so  to  do.  but  on  the 


128 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


whole  lie  considered  himself  bound  not  to 
meddle.  The  iuformer  was  that  strong- 
miuded  snflerer,  who  madly  loved  Sykes 
Drummond,  aud  who  hated  our  heroine  as 
her  successful  rival.  Miss  Aiipleyard  sent 
the  Eevereud  Murray  a  long  anonymous  let- 
ter, revealing  not  only  the  persistent  prose- 
cution of  the  claim,  but  also  some  of  Josie's 
audacities  in  the  way  of  flirtation,  as,  for  in- 
stance, her  journey  in  the  sole  company  of 
Mr.  Hollowbread,  her  lonely  drive  with  that 
rakish  Senator  Irouman,  aud  her  cnpola  ad- 
venture with  the  beauteous  Beauman. 

If  the  rector  had  been  alone,  and  if  he  had 
been  in  the  full  vigor  of  his  native  sense  and 
gentility,  he  would  probably  have  stopped 
reading  this  document  as  soon  as  he  discov- 
ered its  nature,  aud  either  handed  it  to  Jo- 
sie  or  burned  it.  But  he  was  almost  never 
alone ;  and,  moreover,  he  was  in  the  habit 
of  reading  every  speck  and  scrap  of  his  cor- 
respondence to  Mrs.  Murray ;  aud  finally,  by 
dint  of  long  continuance  in  providing  gossip 
for  that  lady,  he  had  himself  become  a  raven- 
ous gossip-monger. 

The  two  venerable,  excellent  people  had 
a  horrid,  entertaining,  wretched,  savory  hour 
over  the  vile  manuscript.  The  rector  mum- 
bled a  passage  aloud ;  then  he  laid  the  let- 
ter down  in  indignation,  saying  that  that 
was  enough  ;  furthermore,  he  denounced  the 
writer  as  a  low,  mean,  mischievous,  lying 
creature. 

Mrs.  Murray  repeated  his  words  after  him 
fervently,  but  could  not  help  looking  un- 
satisfied. Next  followed  a  discussion  as  to 
whether  anonymous  missives  ought  to  be 
burned,  or  whether  they  ought  to  be  pe- 
rused with  unbelief,  detestation,  and  scorn. 
Obvioush",  if  the  fii'st  method  of  treatment 
had  the  precedence,  the  second  could  not  be 
tried  at  all.  It  seemed  well  to  make  proof 
of  both,  aud  see  which  worked  the  most 
satisfactorily. 

So  they  read  another  page ;  paused  anew 
forcommination  service,  with  responses;  had 
a  fresh  discussion  concerning  proprieties  and 
probabilities;  went  back  for  further  light 
to  the  manuscript ;  finally  finished  it. 

"  I  don't  believe  a  word  of  it,"  said  Mrs. 
Murray,  with  both  her  hands  up.  "Do  you, 
Mr.  Murray?" 

"  From  Og,  king  of  Bashan,  and  frorft*  Si- 
hon,  king  of  the  Amorites,  good  Lord  deliver 
us!"  groaned  the  rector. 

"  But  you  don't  believe  it  is  true,  Mr.  Mur- 
ray ?" 

•'Oh  dear!  This  is  a  wicked  world.  I 
am  afraid  some  of  it  is  true." 

"  Oh,  Mr.  Murray !"  gasped  the  old  lady. 
"  So  am  I,"  she  added,  with  a  curious  incon- 
sequence. "  I  am  afraid  some  of  it  is  true. 
She  is  so  higlity-tighty  !" 

"  I  shall  inquire  into  it,"  burst  out  the  rec- 
tor. "And  if  she  is  guilty  of  this,  or  the 
least  tittle  of  it,  I  will  turn  her  out  of  the 


house,  bag  and  baggage,"  he  threatened,  in 
his  hyperbolical  fashion.  "  I  will  not  have 
you  troubled  and  worried  thus,"  he  per- 
sisted, when  his  wife  essayed  some  remon- 
strance against  extreme  measures.  "  I  tell 
you,  Huldah,  that  I  must  not  have  it." 

And  inquire  he  did,  aud  learned  only  too 
much.  At  his  request  the  colonel  took  up 
the  train  of  the  claim,  aud  discovered  that  it 
was  still  being  pushed  with  energy ;  while 
at  the  same  time  two  conscientious  old  la- 
dies of  the  parish  brought  in,  of  their  own 
accord,  a  tale  about  Josie's  flirtations.  The 
joint  result  of  these  communications  disa- 
greeably justified  nearly  all  the  statements 
of  the  anonymous  letter.  Even  Mrs.  Murray, 
despite  her  strong  liking  for  her  clever  and 
diverting  young  relative,  was  horrified  and 
indignant.  She  fretted ;  she  moaned  that 
the  familj^  was  being  disgraced  ;  she  actual- 
ly sobbed  and  shed  tears.  Her  distress  filled 
the  rector  with  rage  and  nerved  him  to  her- 
oism ;  and  he  made  such  an  onset  upon  the 
guilty  Josie  as  to  positively  scare  her. 

"  I  insist  upon  your  stopping  that  claim- 
business  forever,"  he  said,  in  a  choking, 
stammering  voice.  "I  insist  upon  a  solemn 
promise  from  you  that  you  will  stop  it.  I 
insist  upon  your  oath,"  he  continued,  push- 
ing a  Bible  toward  her.  "  I  want  your  oath 
— your  oath !" 

It  was  too  much,  this  tone  of  domination 
and  of  contemptuous  reproach,  even  for  Jo- 
sie's cool  temper  and  good-nature.  With  a 
smart  little  poke,  something  like  the  quick 
spat  of  a  kitten,  she  thrust  the  heavy  vol- 
ume from  her,  tumbling  it  upou  the  floor. 

The  spunky  gesture  and  the  loud  slam 
tliorouglily  startled  old  Mrs.  Murray,  who 
had  prepared  herself  for  the  interview  bj- 
two  days'  nervous  anticipation  of  it,  and  was 
rather  less  fitted  for  it  than  was  Bob  Acres 
for  his  duel.  She  jumped  in  her  chair  as  if 
she  had  been  shot,  threw  up  her  hands  in  a 
hysterical  "way,  and  uttered  a  cry. 

"  Tliere !"  exclaimed  the  rector,  as  if  all  the 
mischief  in  the  world  had  been  done  at  once. 
"Huldah!  Huldah!"  he  went  on,  getting 
over  to  his  wife's  side  as  quickly  as  he  could. 
"  My  dear,  be  calm.  No  harm  shall  hapxien 
to  you." 

"You  frightened  her  yourself,"  asserted 
Josie,  too  much  stirred  up  to  be  wise.  "  If 
you  would  only  keep  your  own  calmness,  it 
would  be  better  for  her." 

But  it  was  Josie  who  had  alarmed  the  old 
lady,  aud  the  latter  showed  it  in  her  counte- 
nance. She  had  the  sensitiveness  of  inva- 
lids and  other  weak  ci'catures,  that  timorous 
sensitiveness  which,  when  it  is  hurt,  becomes 
aversion.  She  gazed  at  the  young  woman, 
so  lately  her  divertissement  aud  pet,  with  eyes 
which  expressed  not  merely  fear,  but  also 
dislike. 

"It  is  you,"  cried  the  rector,  infuriated  by 
Josie'a  charge  that  it  was  he  who  had  trou- 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


129 


bled  bis  Iliildab.  "  It  is  you  wbo  torment 
ber  -nith  your  managements  and  yonr  vio- 
lences.    Hnldab,  be  calm.     Do  bo  calm." 

r>ut  to  be  calm  was  more  tbau  Hnldab 
could  now  do.  Sbo  was  too  old  and  too  fee- 
ble to  control  berself ;  sbo  began  to  cry,  and 
was  soon  sobbing  spasmodically. 

'•  Run  and  get  tbe  ammonia,  quick  !"  cried 
tlio  rector,  calling  on  Josic  witbout  besita- 
tion  in  tins  dire  extremity.  "Sbo  is  going 
to  foint.  Ob,  Hnldab!  liuldab!"'  be  wbim- 
pered — j'cs,  actually  wbimpered — bis  voice 
breaking  like  tbat  of  a  weeping  cbild.  "  Get 
tbe  ammonia !  King  for  Sarab !  Scud  for  a 
doctor!" 

Josie  ran  :  sbo  did  not  forgot  tbat  sbe  bad 
been  scolded,  and  tbat  sbo  meant  to  leave 
tbe  bouse  ;  but  still,  in  ber  good-nature,  sbe 
ran  eagerly  to  scarcli  for  restoratives.  Sbe 
found  Sarab,  and  sent  ber  to  tbe  sitting-room, 
but  not  a  drop  of  annnonia  could  be  discov- 
ered bigb  or  low,  and  sbe  returned  to  report 
tlio  fearful  deficit  just  as  ber  aunt  swooned 
away  completely. 

"  No  anmiouia !"  exclaimed  tbe  rector,  witb 
a  glare  of  reproacli.  "  Never  let  yourself  bo 
in  tbe  bouse  a  day  witb  Mrs.  Murray  witb- 
out ammonia!" 

Josie  often  laugbed  afterward  over  tbis 
61'eecb,  but  at  tbe  time  sbe  made  no  response, 
eitber  in  mirtb  or  anger,  and  simply  fell  to 
work  batbing  tbe  wliite  face  of  tbe  old  lady. 
Meantime  tbe  mulatto  girl  bad  gone  after  a 
neigbboring  pbysician,  witb  instructions  to 
bring  bini  at  once,  dead  or  alive.  Ho  ar- 
rived presently,  took  tbe  mite  of  an  invalid 
in  bis  arms,  carried  ber  to  ber  bedroom,  and 
after  long  labor  brongbt  ber  to  ber  senses. 

During  tbis  interval  ber  busband  stood 
over  ber,  a  picture  of  aflfectionato  grief  and 
fiigbt,  wringing  bis  bands,  and  groaning, 
"  Huldab  !  Hulilab !"  At  last,  wben  bis  dar- 
ling was  to  some  extent  restored,  be  came 
ti'cmbling  out  of  ber  room  and  sougbt  Josie 
in  tbe  parlor. 

"  Sbo  is  better !"  were  bis  first  words,  ut- 
tered as  if  tbere  were  uo  otber  object  of  pity 
in  tbe  world,  and  no  otber  topic  of  interest. 
"  Tbe  Lord  belp  ber  tbrougb  witb  it !  But 
we  must — " 

"We  must  part,"  Josie  interrnpted  bira, 
deciding,  in  tbe  pbrase  of  Balzac,  "  to  go  no- 
bly down  tbe  stairs  ratber  tban  wait  to  be 
tbrown  out  of  tlio  window."  "After  wbat 
has  occurred,  I  can  not  stay  bere." 

"  Yes,  we  must  part — we  must  part,"  stam- 
mered tbe  rector,  confused  and  yet  relieved. 
"  I  say  it  not  in  anger.  I  make  no  reproacb- 
es,  and  want  no  explanations.  We  simjtly 
can  not  bear  it.  We  are  too  old  and  feeble, 
botb  of  us.  Tbis  is  not  tbe  way,  I  know,  to 
part  from  connections.  But  we  can  not  belp 
it.  Go  in  peace.  Tbe  Lord  be  good  to  you ! 
Go  wben  you  can  find  it  convenient.  I  can 
say  no  more.     Good-bye." 

Hastily  turning  bis  back  to  avoid  further 
9 


speech,  bo  tottered  feebly  out  of  tho  room 
and  went  to  sit  by  bis  wife's  bedside. 

Josie  remained  alone.  It  seemcMl  to  ber 
for  a  while  tbat  sbe  was  alone  in  the  world. 
Within  a  few  days  sbo  bad  lost  the  man 
whom  sbo  had  best  loved  and  tlie  friends 
who  bad  given  her  a  homo  and  a  position  in 
Washington  society. 

Lobbying  and  universal  coquetting  hav- 
ing brongbt  such  trouble  upon  her,  it  seem- 
ed all  of  a  sudden  as  if  they  nnist  bo  very 
wicked,  and  sbo  bad  a  pang  of  i-cmorse.  But 
it  was  too  late  now  to  tliink  of  changing 
her  course,  for  her  connections  had  cast  her 
off  in  the  most  jiositivo  and  irreversible 
manner;  and  lobbying  aiul  flirting  were 
henceforward  her  only  possil)lo  paths  to 
prosperity,  and  iierhaps  her  only  means  of 
existence. 

Moreover,  in  her  momentary  abasement 
Josie  doubted  her  power  of  reforming.     She 
remembered  bow  often  she  bad  resolved  to   j 
be  good,  without  the  least  permanent  I'esult ;  / 
and  in  her  desjiair  sbe  sobbed  to  herself: 

"  I  can't,  and  I  know  I  can't ;  and  I  won't 
try." 

Her  next  thought  was  that  she  would 
marry  Mr.  Hollowbread,  and  then  behave 
like  the  very  witch,  and  servo  him  right. 

Of  course  she  was  in  a  pet ;  even  a  wom- 
an can  not  very  well  bo  hurt,  humiliated, 
and  scared  without  fuming  about  it ;  even 
Josie's  wonderful  good  temper  could  not  sail 
smoothly  over  ber  present  sea  of  troubles. 

But,  meanwhile,  action  was  necessary; 
she  must  find  a  comfortable  and  genteel 
home  at  once.  Wbile  she  packed  her  trunk 
(putting  away  a  few  tears  along  with  her 
dresses)  she  pondered  as  to  whither  she 
should  betake  berself. 

After  meditating  upon  hotels  and  rejecting 
them  as  expensive,  after  taking  into  consid- 
eration boarding-houses  and  revolting  from 
them  as  low,  she  concluded  to  knock  for  ad- 
mission at  tho  door  of  her  sister-claimant, 
Mrs.  AVarden. 

"  Going  to  leave  the  Murrays !''  stared  that 
lady,  when  Josie  called  upon  her  with  her 
proposition.  "  I  had  an  idea  that  you  were 
settled  there  for  life." 

"Mj'  dear,  it  was  only  a  visit,"  answered 
our  heroine,  who  bad  decided  to  say  nothing 
al)ont  the  quarrel,  at  least  for  the  present. 
"  I  was  invited  for  a  month,  and  I  have  al- 
ready staid  two.  One  must  not  ride  hospi- 
tality to  death.  If  they  want  me  back,  they 
can  apply  for  me." 

"They  will  apply  for  you  fast  enough. 
I  don't  see  how  the  old  lady  can  spare  you 
a  day.  She  has  often  told  mo  what  an 
amusement  you  are  to  her ;  how  you  bring 
ber  every  thing  tbat  is  stirring  in  society, 
all  tho  pottage  of  gossip  tbat  she  loves." 

'•Yes,  that  is  it.  They  use  me — just  a 
little  too  much,  don't  you  know  ?  I  should 
like  a  resting  spell;  I  should  like  a  vaca- 


130 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


tion.  Tbey  Lave  been  very  good  to  me." 
(She  said  this  with  a  swelling  of  anger  and 
grief  in  her  pretty  fibbing  throat,  for,  in 
reality,  she  felt  just  then  that  they  had  been 
outrageously  hard  with,  her.)  "But  they 
have  also  been  exacting.  You  can't  imagine 
what  a  despotism  that  household  lives  un- 
der in  the  way  of  cosseting  and  diverting 
that  old  lady.  Not  that  she  herself  seems 
to  demand  it  so  very  much.  But  her  lius- 
band,  the  dear  old  rector,  is  perfectly  cracked 
about  her.  He  serves  her  himself  constant- 
ly, and  wants  every  body  else  in  the  same 
harness.  I  must  tell  Mrs.  Murray  every 
thing  that  I  see,  bear,  say,  do,  think,  or 
dream.  I  must  be  always  on  hand  for  her 
sick  turns,  no  matter  when  she  chooses  to 
have  them.  I  must  walk  tiptoe  in  the  hall, 
and  laugh  in  a  whisper  in  the  i^arlor.  If 
my  dress  rustles  as  I  go  down  stairs,  Uncle 
John  opens  his  door  and  glares  out  awfully 
to  see  who  is  making  that  deafening  n]iroar. 
If  visitors  stay  after  ten  o'clock,  be  behaves 
as  if  they  were  Indians  come  to  scalp  him. 
Sometimes  be  gets  into  the  study  slyly,  and 
glowers  through  the  hall  at  lis  without 
speaking,  and  then  goes  back  to  talk  to  Mrs. 
Murray  about  it.  If  he  kept  a  guu,  I  should 
think  he  was  going  to  fire  at  lis,  or  at  least 
to  bang  it  out  of  the  window,  like  old  Mr. 
Bronte.  I  am  perfectly  certain  that  they 
have  the  longest  and  solemnest  conversa- 
tions with  each  other  about  my  worldliness 
and  levity  and  hoideuism  and  boisterous- 
uess.  And  then  when  I  go  to  them  I  must 
tell  it  all,  and  they  seem  to  like  it.  But  the 
very  next  gentleman  that  calls  puts  Uncle 
John  in  a  state  again.  Positively  I  some- 
times think  he  is  crazy.  He  thinks  of  noth- 
ing but  his  old  wife ;  he  wants  to  hush  the 
whole  world  for  her  sake.  He  would  like 
to  make  the  omnibus  pass  his  door  at  a  walk. 
He  goes  to  his  front  door  and  orders  away 
niggers  who  are  guffawing  on  the  sidewalk. 
Once,  when  an  expressman  dropped  a  heavy 
package  in  the  hall,  he  looked  at  the  man 
as  though  he  had  dro^iped  it  on  Mrs.  Murray's 
head,  and  said  out  loud,  'There  is  a  hell!' 
I  have  heard  him  talk  for  twenty  minutes 
about  some  old  granny  who,  ten  years  ago, 
or  forty  years  ago,  perhaps,  bathed  his  wife's 
feet  nicely  in  hot  water  and  mustard  ;  and 
he  always  declares,  when  he  tells  the  story, 
that  she  will  go  to  Paradise  for  it." 

"Oh,  but  these  are  his  jokes,"  laughed 
Mrs.  Warden,  who  was  quite  fond  of  the  old 
gentleman  in  her  flighty  way,  and  who, 
moreover,  knew  that  he  was  an  intelligent 
talker  and  humorous. 

"  Yes,  they  are  jokes,  but  jokes  right  out 
of  the  heart.  He  is  pretty  serious  in  them, 
with  all  his  apologetical  smiling.  He  part- 
ly knows,  I  think,  that  he  is  irrational,  and 
tries  to  cover  it  up  and  excuse  it  by  joking. 
But  he  is  clean  addled,  all  the  same." 

"  It  is  hard  for  a  woman  to  make  mouths 


at  a  man  fur  being  overfoud  of  his  wife," 
opined  Mrs.  "Warden,  who  had  long  since  de- 
cided that  it  was  a  misfortune  to  lose  a  lov- 
ing husband,  and  that  she  should  like  to  get 
another. 

'•  I  don't  know  about  that,"  doubted  Josie. 
"I  don't  want  such  a  husband  as  my  un- 
cle is.  I  should  fly  at  him.  I  icould  breathe 
without  him.  I  would  not  let  him  breathe 
for  me.  It  is  a  husband's  business  to  sup- 
port his  wife,  and  protect  her,  and  give  her 
a  position,  but  not  to  hold  her  in  his  lap  for- 
ever, and  make  her  sit  there.  Who  wants 
to  be  kept  in  an  egg-shell  always  ?  A  wom- 
an needs  to  get  hatched  some  time  or  other, 
and  scratch  and  peck  about  a  little  by  her- 
self.    That  is  what  I  mean  to  do." 

"  I  rather  think  you  will  do  it,"  smiled  the 
elder  lady. 

'•  I  rather  think  you  won't  attack  me  for 
it." 

"Xo,"  admitted  Mrs.  Warden,  who  had 
herself  pecked  about  quite  independently, 
even  during  the  lifetime  of  the  patient  man 
for  whom  she  mourned. 

"  Besides,  a  woman  who  is  worth  sixpence 
wants  her  husband  to  be  a  great  man,"  con- 
tinued Josie.  "She  wants  a  chance  to  be 
proud  of  him.  She  wants  to  see  him  make 
other  men  bow  down  to  him  and  to  her. 
But  how  can  he  briug  that  about  when  he 
is  always  holding  her  in  lap  ?  Just  look  at 
my  nncle's  way  of  life,  and  what  has  come 
of  it.  He  is  a  clever  man  ;  lie  has  a  big 
knowledge-box,  and  plenty  of  brains  in  it; 
when  he  isn't  in  a  twitter  about  his  wife,  he 
can  talk  as  wisely  and  wittily  as  any  body 
in  Washington.  Then  look  at  his  other  ad- 
vantages— family,  education,  money,  leisure 
— every  thing  that  a  man  needs  to  work 
with.  Well,  what  has  he  done '?  He  has 
not  even  got  to  be  a  Doctor  of  Divinity.  I 
don't  believe  he  ever  wrote  a  great  sermon, 
nor  so  much  as  a  hundred  middling  ones, 
such  as  he  does  write.  He  talks  about  exe- 
gesis, but  I  don't  think  he  ever  did  any  of 
it,  whatever  it  may  be.  Nobody  ever  call- 
ed him  a  scholar,  not  even  for  fun.  He  has 
just  simply  taken  good  care  of  one  woman. 
He  has  spent  years  in  traveling  with  her, 
when  he  should  have  been  earning  a  bishop- 
ric. He  has  settled  down  to  a  church  mere- 
ly because  she  couldn't  travel  any  longer; 
and  now,  when  he,  perha])S,  wants  to  work, 
he  can't.  He  has  passed  so  much  time  in 
amusing  and  trying  to  keep  alive  one  aging 
mind,  that  he  has  become  a  confirmed  gossip- 
monger.  He  reads  tlie  newspapers;  he  be- 
gins where  we  do,  with  the  deaths  and  mar- 
riages ;  then  he  reads  all  the  city  items,  the 
fashions,  the  very  advertisements — he  reads 
the  whole  daily  tweedledum  and  tweedledeo 
aloud  ;  he  has  done  it  for  forty  years,  and  ho 
can't  stop.  What  will  be  leave  behind  him 
to  keep  his  name  in  remembrance?  Noth- 
ing but  his  tombstouc--an  epitaph  written 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


131 


hy  a  liar,  ami  chiseled  liy  a  dunce !  Isn't  it 
a  shauio  to  liavo  a  head  as  big  as  a  denii- 
jolin,  and  not  let  posterity  know  that  you 
iiad  a  head  at  all?  Do  you  call  that  doing 
your  duty  by  yourself,  and  by  your  kind, 
and  by  your  Maker?  Wiien  the  Lord  calls 
him  to  an  account,  pretty  nmeli  all  ho  will 
bo  able  to  say  will  be,  *  I  have  taken  caro  of 
Huldah.'  Now,  of  course,  it  is  right  and 
lovely  to  take  caro  of  Huldah ;  but  is  that 
all  that  a  man  of  wealth  and  talents  ought 
to  do  ?  Oh,  there  is  a  lot  of  humbug  among 
us  women  about  good,  attentive  husbands! 
Some  of  tho  husl)ands  best  worth  quarrel- 
ing for  arc  husbands  who  are  not  a  bit  at- 
tentive." 

"  Every  thing  may  be  abused,  even  affec- 
tion," observed  Mrs.  Warden,  warmed  up  to 
a  little  more  than  her  usual  power  of  reflec- 
tion by  tho  friction  of  Josie's  superior  in- 
telligence. 

"  Women  don't  think  so,  but  it  is  true." 

"  Still,  I  like  the  rector.  I  like  him  for 
his  very  weakness  about  his  wife.  I  laugh 
at  him  for  it,  and  I  like  him  for  it." 

"  When  you  see  close  at  hand  how  it 
works,  you  don't  like  him  so  well  for  it," 
aflirmed  Josie,  who  was  naturally  bitter 
against  her  uncle,  and  disposed  to  disparage 
him.  "It  almost  makes  him  stupid.  He  is 
really  a  witty  man,  and  yet  for  her  sake  he 
is  not  witty.  His  talk  and  his  thoughts  are 
constantly  broken  up  bj-  his  explanations  to 
her,  and  by  her  questions  and  responses.  I 
really  think  he  is  often  afraid  to  say  the  best 
thing  he  can,  for  fear  she  won't  understand 
it.  She  isn't  a  fool ;  she  does  catch  at  a  joke 
right  smartly ;  but  then  he  is  so  afraid  she 
won't!  And  if  she  shouldn't,  somebody 
might  think  she  was  broken,  and  that 
would  kill  him.  The  gracious  deliver  me 
from  such  a  husband!  When  I  lose  ray 
wits,  I  want  my  iirotector  and  blessing  to 
tell  me  of  it." 

"I  see  that  you  have  suffered,"  laughed 
Mrs.  Warden.  "  The  old  people  must  have 
been  very  hard  on  you." 

"Yes,  I  have  suftered,"  emphasized  Josie, 
whose  heart  was  swollen  all  the  while  with 
indignation,  although  her  speech  was  guard- 
ed and  sensible.  "  A  man  has  a  right  to  sac- 
ritice  himself  to  his  wife,  I  suppose;  but  I 
deny  that  he  has  a  right  to  sacriiice  other 
people  to  her.  I  know  that  he  shall  not  sac- 
riiice me.  Well,  I  nuist  stop  scolding.  You 
will  think  I  have  a  bad  temper,  and  I  have 
not.     Did  you  ever  see  me  cross  before?" 

"Never,"  said  Mrs, Warden,  quite  truth- 
fully. 

"And  the  sum  of  it  is  (I  beg  you  never  to 
mention  it  to  the  old  people),  the  sum  of  it 
is,  that  I  want  to  close  my  visit ;  but  I  don't 
want  to  leave  Washington,  and  I  don't  want 
to  go  to  a  boarding-house,  and  I  mustn't  go 
to  a  hotel.  Will  you  let  me  keep  house  with 
you,  and  bear  my  share  of  the  expenses?" 


Mrs.  Warden  did  not  like  the  idea,  and 
yet  she  could  not  say  no  to  it.  On  the  ono 
han<l,  she  was  afraid  to  receive  permanently 
inidcr  her  roof  such  a  rival  for  15clhs ;  on  tho 
other  hand,  the  Commodore  Hooker  claim 
had  been  a  costly  one  to  launch,  and  had 
as  yet  brought  in  no  booty;  so  that  money 
was  becomiug  scarce  in  the  family  locker, 
and  financial  help  desirable.  Josie  could, 
no  doubt,  hcli»  face  th(!  butcher,  ami  might 
be  of  use  in  the  game  of  log-rolling. 

"  If  you  can  make  the  change  ])leasant  to 
tho  Murrays,  it  will  bo  delightful  to  me," 
she  said. 

"  I  can  make  it  pleasant  enough  to  f/jem," 
answered  Josie,  with  a  little  grinuicc.  "I 
wish  I  were  sure  of  making  it  i)leasaut  to 
you." 


CHAPTEE  XXXVIII. 

AUNT  IIULDAII  KATHER  FEEBLE. 

The  condition  of  old  Mrs.  Murray  at  this 
time  was  such  as  to  incline  us  to  repent  of 
having  permitted  disparagement  of  her  hus- 
band for  the  fastidious  caro  which  he  lav- 
ished upon  her. 

The  thread  by  which  life  held  to  that 
aged  and  attenuated  body  was,  it  now  aj)- 
peared,  very  fragile.  An  excitement  which 
would  have  been  transitory  with  most  per- 
sons, and  a  cause  of  irritation  and  humilia- 
tion which  did  not  seem  to  concern  her  very 
conspicuously,  were  euough  to  draw  upon 
her  vitality  alarmingly.  The  little  crj'  and 
the  long  swoon  with  which  she  recoiled  from 
tho  quarrel  between  her  husband  and  her 
favorite  were  the  first  overt  symiitoms  of  a 
grave  illness. 

It  was  not  an  acute  attack,  for  there  could 
be  no  vigor  or  violence  about  that  frail  tene- 
ment, not  even  in  the  ruin  which  crumbled 
its  time-worn  walls.  It  was  mere  nerveless, 
almost  imlseless,  prostration  ;  it  was  such  a 
sickness  as  one  might  attribute  to  a  ghost. 
She  reposed,  white  and  quiet,  sleeping  or 
dozing  much  of  the  time,  looking  at  tho 
figures  on  tho  wall-paper  when  awake,  an- 
swering in  monosyllables  if  spoken  to,  some- 
times smiling  mechanicallj'.  Body  and  niiud 
seemed  to  bo  Ijing  in  placid,  torpid  wi'eck 
together.  She  reminded  one  irresistibly  of 
the  phrases,  a  living  death,  a  body  of  death. 
If  she  had  dropped  into  pale,  dry  dust,  and 
become  subject  to  the  gentle  motions  of  tho 
sick-room  air,  the  fact  would  hardly  have 
appeared  in  tho  nature  of  a  change,  nor 
caused  nnich  surprise  to  the  spectator. 

Mrs.  Warden  called  upon  her,  gazed  at  her 
with  an  astonishment  which  she  could  not 
conceal,  and  went  away  in  a  state  of  solemn 
bewilderment,  like  one  who  has  seen  some- 
thing unearthly. 

"  Upon  my  word,  she  ought  to  he  buried," 


132 


PLAYINa  THE  MISCHIEF. 


slie  said  to  Josie.  "Talk  of  leanness!  It 
is  not  emaciation ;  it  is  being  a  skeleton." 

"It  is  my  belief  that  she  was  born  a 
skeleton,"  replied  our  still  imbittered  hero- 
ine. "  There  never  was  flesh  enough  on  her 
to  make  a  mummy  of." 

At  this  time,  although  Mrs.  Warden  had 
had  Josie  with  her  for  nearly  a  week,  she 
did  not  know  the  real  history  of  her  exodus 
out  of  the  Murray  house,  nor  so  much  as  sus- 
pect that  there  had  been  a  serious  quarrel. 

The  rector  had  as  yet  said  nothing  con- 
cerning the  matter  to  any  one  outside  of 
his  family.  He  might  be  cracked  about  his 
wife,  and  absurdly  excitable  as  to  the  su- 
jiremacy  of  theology  over  science,  but  on  all 
other  subjects  he  had  good  sense,  and  the 
delicate  good  sense  of  a  gentleman.  He 
would  make  no  scandal  about  the  adven- 
turess whom  he  had  exorcised ;  he  would  not 
expose  her  misdeeds  to  people  who  did  not 
bear  his  name ;  in  the  common  phrase,  he 
washed  his  dirty  linen  at  home.  Moreover, 
looking  upon  Josie  as  the  cause  of  his  dear 
wife's  illness,  he  w'as  just  now  overflowing 
with  wrath  against  her ;  and  he  knew  that, 
should  he  once  commence  denouncing  such  a 
miscreant,  he  would  not  be  able  to  keep  him- 
self within  bounds  of  wisdom  or  decorum. 

So  not  a  word  did  he  lisp  of  her  evil  do- 
ings to  any  one  but  liis  brother. 

Finally  ho  was  laboriously  occupied,  he 
Avas  completely  absorbed,  by  his  precious  in- 
valid. Even  the  origin  of  her  sickness  was 
of  light  consequence,  in  his  estimation,  com- 
pared with  what  might  bo  the  result  of  it. 
His  distress  and  solicitude  were  full  of  pa- 
thos, and  almost  towered  to  the  height  of 
the  tragic.  It  was  impossible  for  a  right- 
hearted  person  to  laugh  at  him  now,  except 
as  one  may  laugh  in  acute  personal  sufl"er- 
ing,  with  a  hysterical  paroxysm  of  humor,  a 
smile  on  the  lip  and  a  tear  in  the  eye.  To 
stand  by  the  sick-bed,  and  hear,  as  it  were, 
the  throbbings  of  this  dismayed  watcher, 
was  perhaps  more  sobering  than  to  staud 
by  the  gaping  finality  of  a  grave  amidst  the 
sobs  of  mourners. 

The  rector's  care  of  his  wife,  consiflered 
in  itself  and  without  regard  to  his  duties 
toward  otliers,  was  admirable.  For  her  sake 
he  neglected  every  thing,  his  own  comfort 
and  welfare — yes,  and  all  alien  comfort  and 
welfare.  He  forgot  his  meals  and  renounced 
his  rest ;  he  hired  a  young  clergyman,  at  his 
own  expense,  to  attend  to  his  pastoral  du- 
ties ;  lie  did  nothing  but  watch  and  guard 
that  adored  incarnation  of  helplessness.  Ho 
kept  the  whole  house  in  a  whisper;  ho  was 
angry  with  the  servants  if  they  went  to  bed 
early  or  got  up  late ;  ho  lifted  np  his  eyes 
when  a  burst  of  laughter  was  heard  in  the 
far-away  kitchen. 

How  could  any  one  but  a  monster  bo  at 
ease  or  be  joyous  while  his  Iluldah  suffered  ? 
It  was  pitiable  to  see  him  trying  to  drop 


medicine  with  his  trembling  fingers,  or  shuf- 
fling about  the  house  on  his  swollen  feet  to 
bring  hot  water  the  sooner.  Sometimes,  just 
for  a  moment,  he  thought  of  Josie  kindly 
and  wished  her  back  again,  so  intelligent 
and  alert  was  she,  so  light  of  foot  and  sure 
of  hand,  so  able  to  help  in  this  great  crisis. 

But  he  never  uttered  the  thought,  nor 
mentioned  her  in  any  manner.  He  admitted 
now  that  ho  should  not  have  divulged  her 
misdeeds  to  his  wife,  nor  fought  his  necessa- 
ry and  holy  battle  with  her  in  that  venera- 
ble presence.  It  seemed  to  him  a  perfectly 
rational  and  jirobable  supposition  that  if  he 
should  once  breathe  the  word  Josie  in  the 
hearing  of  Huldah,  she  would  have  a  parox- 
ysm and  die. 

At  last,  to  his  amazement  and  fright,  tho 
sick  woman  herself  spoke  of  the  outcast. 

"  Where  did  she  go  ?"  Mrs.  Murray  asked, 
in  a  feeble  voice,  her  skinny  forehead  puck- 
ered with  some  eager  desire,  or  fear,  or  other 
emotion,  perhaps  not  altogether  definite  to 
herself. 

"I  believe  she  is  staying  with  Mrs.  War- 
den," answered  the  husband,  without  adding 
either  a  good  word  or  an  ill  one,  so  fearful 
was  he  of  giving  auuoyance  and  causing  ex- 
citement. 

"With  Mrs.  Warden  ?"  repeated  the  old 
lady.  "  Why  don't  Mrs.  Warden  come  here  ? 
What  does  she  keei)  away  for  f ' 

Mrs.  Warden,  as  we  know,  had  already 
dropped  in,  but  Mrs.  Murray  had  either  not 
noticed  her  iireseuce  or  had  forgotten  it.  She 
was  now,  after  much  deliberation  aud  a  long 
discussion  with  the  medical  man,  sent  for  by 
the  rector.  So  that  swarthy  aud  somewhat 
haggard  face,  with  its  excitable  black  eyes 
and  unsteady  expression,  was  soon  bending 
over  the  sick-bed. 

"  You  don't  call  here  now,"  said  the  inva- 
lid, with  a  disqiiieted,  iieevish  glance,  very 
j)atlietic,  as  coming  fi'om  such  feebleness. 

"  Mj  dear  Mrs.  Murray,  I  call  oftener  than 
usual,"  palavered  Mrs.  Warden,  smiling  away 
with  all  her  teeth,  aud  overdoing  it  aggrava- 
tingly.  "  I  have  been  here  twice  this  week." 
I  am  always  at  your  service." 

"I  thank  you,"  replied  tho  punctilious 
old  lady,  incapable  of  neglecting  the  minor 
forms  of  civility,  though  she  were  at  her  final 
gasp.     " Is  s/(e  staying  at  yoiu- house?" 

"She  —  who?  —  Belle?"  answered  Mrs. 
Warden,  who  had  by  this  time  guessed  out 
the  fact  of  a  fiimily  quarrel,  though  as  yet 
ignorant  of  its  cause  and  virulence.  "  Yes, 
Belle  is  with  me." 

"  I  moan  Josephine  Murray,"  said  Mrs. 
Murray,  in  the  petulant  tone  of  a  weakness 
amounting  to  pain. 

"  Oh  yes  !  slio  is  with  me,"  acknowledged 
tho  visitor,  with  a  pretense  at  sudden  rec- 
ollection. "  She  is  staying  with  me  for  a  few 
days." 

"  I  thought  she  was  going  to  leave  Wash- 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


13:] 


ington,"  sighed  the  sick  -u-oman,  iu  a  tone  of 
disappointment. 

"Not  at  once;  very  soon,  I  suppose,"  was 
tlie  conciliatory  response.  Whatever  -would 
he  likely  to  he  pleasant  this  diplomatist  was 
ready  to  state  without  hesitation  or  scruple. 

"  When  is  she  going  ?" 

"  I  don't  know  precisely.  She  has  not 
fixed  any  day  in  particular." 

The  suiiorcr's  countenance  fell  at  once, 
and  assumed  a  look  of  despairing  languor. 
She  had  turned  against  Josie  ;  she  regarded 
her  as  a  dishonor  to  the  family  and  a  dis- 
turher  of  its  peace ;  and,  what  was  even 
more  inlluential  with  her,  she  identified  her 
own  illness  with  the  young  woman's  mis- 
conduct. The  one  strong  desire  of  her  soul, 
aside  from  the  mere  instinctive  longing  af- 
ter health  and  life,  was  that  Josie  should 
leave  Washington,  and  never  he  heard  of 
there  more. 

The  rector,  Avho  was  watching  his  wife 
intently,  and  who  noted  with  terror  her 
lapse  into  ghastly  weakness,  now  said,  ea- 
gerly, "  Huldah  !  don't  fatigue  yourself." 

Then  he  cast  at  Jlrs.  Warden  a  supplicat- 
ing glance,  which  caused  her  to  depart  with- 
out a  word  further. 

"  She  is  staying  here !"  groaned  the  sick 
woman,  as  soon  as  the  room  was  clear.  "  She 
is  staying  here.  I  knew  she  would.  I  told 
yon  so.    She  will  stay  here  and  disgrace  us." 

Then  came  a  hurst  of  sohhing,  which 
convulsed  her  venerahle  face  and  shook  her 
fragile  figure  until  her  hushand  wept  with 
fright.  He  ran  for  restoratives,  screamed 
loudly  for  the  nurse,  and  rang  n]}  all  the 
servants. 

But  no  soothing  or  stimulus  could  arrest 
the  agitation,  though  a  hufiet  might  have 
destroyed  the  vitality  which  fed  it.  It  only 
ceased  when  it  had  run  through  paroxysm 
after  paroxysm  of  hysterics  into  the  death- 
like peace  of  a  swoon.  She  recovered  her 
consciousness  at  last;  there  was  still  life  in 
the  feehle  old  hody. 

But  the  rector  now  helieved  that  life  could 
.  not  remain  in  it  long,  unless  Josie  were  driv- 
.  en  from  Washington.    In  his  hrief  dialogues 
on  the  suhject  with  his  hrother  he  was  ven- 
.  omous  against  our  pretty  and  clever  hero- 
ine.     He  called  her  "that  woman,"  "' that 
,  creature,"  "  that  sly  little  serpent,"  "  that 
murderess."     He  compared  her  to  Aspasia, 
Cleopati'a,  Messalina,  Slarozia,  Lucretia  Bor- 
gia, Joau  of  Naples,  the  Marchioness  of  Briu- 
villiers,  and  other  females  whoso  renown  is 
not  altogether  agreeahle. 

"  She  has  iioisoned  Huldah,"  ho  asserted. 
"  She  might  just  as  well  have  mixed  arsenic 
in  her  cup.     And  she  meant  it." 

"  Oh  no,  John !  Not  quite  that,"  protested 
the  rational  old  colonel.  "  She  is  a  selfish, 
dishonest,  deceiving  little  puss.  She  wants 
to  grah  a  fortune,  and  would  ahout  as  lief 
get  it  hy  swindling  and  perjury  as  in  any 


other  way.  But  there  is  no  malignity  in 
her,  I  take  it.  She  has  done  Huldah  great 
harm,  no  douht ;  but  it  is  unlikely  that  she 
should  mean  it." 

"Oh,  j-ou  don't  know  her  I"  declared  the 
rector,  as  if  he  knew  her,  or  could  fully  know 
her.  "  When  you  have  studied  human  na- 
ture as  carefully  as  I  have,  Julian,  you  will 
he  able  to  understand  these  wicked  wretch- 
es, these  children  of  this  world  and  Satan," 
went  on  this  innocent,  this  man  of  mere 
emotion  and  affection,  this  most  nnphilo- 
sophic  and  unjudicial  spirit.  '"  She  does 
wickedness  and  loves  it.  She  will  kill  my 
wife  and  break  my  heart,  and  rejoice  over  it." 

"  No,  not  rejoice,  I  fancy,"  the  colonel  per- 
sisted in  doubting.  "  I  don't  believe  she 
means  to  tie  you  to  the  torture -post  and 
jump  around  you.  She  is  not  an  intention- 
al Apache.  You  forget  how  people  (espe- 
cially women,"  added  the  old  bachelor,  par- 
enthetically) "look  at  things  entirely  from 
their  personal  point  of  view ;  how  they  judge 
questions  by  their  feelings,  which,  of  course, 
means  not  by  other  people's  feelings ;  hov.- 
they  snatch  at  whatever  they  want,  with- 
out a  thought  of  their  fellow -creatures. 
For  instance,  I  am  in  the  cars,  and  I  want 
my  window  open  for  the  sake  of  air,  and  the 
man  behind  me  catches  a  horrible  cold  in 
consequence  ;  and  yet  I  don't  mean  it.  In 
fact,  when  he  asks  me  to  close  the  window, 
I  am  disposed  to  consider  it  hard  in  him,  and 
to  look  upon  him  as  a  selfish  fellow.  Now,  I 
dare  say  that  Josie,  so  far  from  thinking 
herself  cruel,  regards  us  as  cruel.  Possibly 
enough  she  is  crying  at  this  very  minute 
over  our  supposed  imfriendliness  in  trying 
to  head  off  her  claim  and  iu  breaking  with 
her." 

"Nonsense!  She  can  not  be  so  blinded. 
I  have  treated  her  with  every  kindness,  and 
this  is  her  return.  You  are  always  making 
excuses  for  Satan,  .Julian,  and  trying  to  show 
that  he  doesn't  mean  to  do  harm,  or  hasn't 
done  any.  But  I  Know  what  I  knorc  I  I  have 
nourished  a  serpent  in  my  bosom.  I  have 
been  stung  by  the  pang  of  ingratitude." 

The  colonel  fell  silent  for  a  moment.  Ho 
was  aware  that  his  brother  had  not  spent 
three  hundred  dollars  ou  this  serpent,  antl 
that  she  had  worked  pretty  smartly  for  her 
wages  in  the  way  of  services  and  attentions, 
so  that  the  charge  of  ingratitude  was  not 
very  solidly  supported.  But  he  guessed  that, 
if  he  should  say  this,  it  would  only  add  to 
the  fragile  man's  excitement ;  and  what  ho 
wanted  was  to  soothe  him  and  keep  him 
from  falling  sick,  or  jierhaps  going  mad,  over 
his  troubles. 

"  I  am  sorry  she  is  at  Mrs.  Warden's,"  he 
said  at  last,  remembering  his  favorite  Belle, 
and  fearing  lest  she  should  get  no  good  from 
Josie. 

"  I  am  sorry  she  is  anywhere,"  snapped  tho 
tender-hearted  rector. 


134 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


"I  Tvisli  -we  could  get  her  avray  from 
there." 

"I  will  tell  Mrs.  "Warden  that  she  must 
turn  her  out  and  send  her  from  Washiugtou, 
or  forfeit  our  acquaintance." 

''  You  can't  do  that,  you  know.  Yon  can't 
cut  your  parishioners  because  they  entertain 
your  relatives." 

"No  —  I  suppose  I  cau't,"  groaned  the 
Eeverend  Murray,  feeliug  that  the  clerical 
bands  were  indeed  heavy  ones. 

"  The  main  thing  is  to  induce  Josie  to  give 
np  her  claim  and  clear  out/'  continued  the 
colonel. 

Just  then  he  was  interrupted  by  the  en- 
trance of  Sarah,  who  handed  the  rector  a 
scented  envelope — an  envelope  redolent  of 
Josie. 

It  must  be  understood  that  Mrs.  Warden 
Lad  ventured  to  remonstrate  with  our  hero- 
ine on  the  subject  of  her  quarrel,  and  had 
obtained  from  her  a  statement  of  the  case, 
which  contained  a  considerable  amount  of 
truth.  Softened  as  the  tale  was,  it  was  ex- 
tremely disagreeable  news  to  Mrs.  Warden. 
She  did  not  want  to  be  at  variance  with  the 
Eeverend  Murray,  whose  mere  acquaintance 
was  a  social  help  to  her,  nor  witli  Colonel 
Murray,  who  was  not  only  respectable,  but 
marriageable.  So  she  put  Josie  up  to  mak- 
ing an  effort  toward  reconciliation;  and  the 
result  was  the  perfumed  epistle  now  in  the 
Lands  of  Huldah's  husband. 

"My  dear  Uncle"  (he  read), — "I  can 
not  tell  you  how  keenly  I  regret  that  any 
difterence  should  have  arisen  between  us.  I 
assure  you  that  I  set  the  very  highest  value 
upon  the  good  opiuion  and  friendship  of 
yourself  and  my  dear,  excellent,  generous 
aunt.  To  recover  your  consideration  and 
kindness  I  would  do  more  than  for  any  oth- 
er object  whicli  I  can  conceive.  I  feel  all 
this  the  more  deeply  because  I  hear  that 
your  wife  is  ill.  Is  it  possible  that  I  have 
been  in  any  way  tlie  cause  of  her  sickness  ? 
If  so,  it  would  comfort  mo  very  much  to  be 
allowed  to  see  her,  and  to  tell  her  of  my  re- 
gret and  my  lasting  aft'ection.  Could  she 
grant  me  this  favor,  and  coiild  you  sanction 
it  ?  Do  pray  have  the  goodness  to  let  mo 
know  whether  this  may  be.  Very  affection- 
ately, your  niece,     JosEniixE  Murray." 

"  Read  this  !"  exclaimed  the  rector,  trem- 
bling with  indignation,  with  sub-acute  rheu- 
matism, and  with  nervous  x^rostratiou.  "  See 
how  a  serpent  can  write !" 

The  colonel  put  on  his  gold-bowed  specta- 
cles, and  went  carefully  through  the  manu- 
script twice. 

"  It  is  a  very  remarkable  letter,"  ho  said, 
lifting  his  tranquil  eyes  with  an  expression 
of  wonder,  if  not  of  admiration.  "  I  would 
not  have  supposed  tliat  any  human  being  of 
twenty -two  years  of  ago  could,  under  the 


circumstances,  have  written  such  a  calm,  ju- 
dicious, self-respectful,  and  yet  conciliatory 
letter  as  that.  She  doesn't  re-open  the 
quarrel,  and  she  doesn't  defend  herself.  It 
is  dignified  and  expressive.  She  is  a  most 
talented  young  woman  when  she  stops  to 
think.  She  is  fit  to  be  at  the  head  of  a 
bureau." 

"  She  is  a  monstrous  hypocrite,"  affirmed 
the  clergyman,  disposed  by  nature  and  by 
the  habits  of  his  profession  to  look  at  the 
moral  rather  than  the  intellectual  aspect  of 
things  and  of  people. 

"  She  is  an  incarnation  of  misapplied  abil- 
ity," answered  the  colonel,  still  shaking  his 
wondering  head  over  the  letter.  "What 
couldn't  she  do  if  she  Avere  good  ?  She 
might  run  the  whole  Murray  family.  We 
should  be  glad  to  let  her  run  it." 

"  Thank  God  that  the  wicked  have  no  pow- 
er over  it !"  exclaimed  the  rector.  "Thank 
God  that  he  has  not  made  us  like  those  who 
Xiut  on  willingly  the  yoke  of  sinners !" 

"  Yes,  thank  God  for  that .'"  assented  the  old 
soldier,  with  obvious  feeliug.  "  We  have 
been  helped,  John,  by  our  circumstances. 
We  belong  to  honorable  professions.  I  often 
think  that  matters  could  not  have  gone  yery 
badly  in  those  old-time  societies  which  were 
ruled  by  soldiers  and  priests.  But  what  do 
you  propose  to  do  about  this  letter  ?  Are 
you  going  to  let  Huldah  see  the  girl?  If 
she  could  bear  it,  it  might  help." 

"Never!"  the  rector  burst  forth,  volcan- 
ically,  ready  to  emit  ilames  and  pour  out 
lava — a  very  tremulous  old  Stromboli,  by- 
the-way.  "The  mere  sight  of  that  serpent 
would  kill  Huldah.  I  wouldn't  risk  it  for 
millions." 

"But  the  thought  of  Josie's  staying  ia 
Washington  hurts  Huldah,  you  say." 

"  It  is  the  sole  cause  of  her  sickness,"  as- 
serted Parson  Murray,  in  his  inflamed,  whole- 
sale, hyberbolical  fashion,  forgetting  that  his 
wife  was  nearly  eighty. 

"  We  talked  a  while  ago  of  giving  the  girl 
something  to  make  her  drop  this  claim,  and 
be  all  that  is  nice.  Perhaps  it  was  a  mis- 
take not  to  do  it  then.  Hadn't  we  better  do 
it  now  ?" 

"And  help  her  in  her  intrigues,  and  re- 
ward her  for  her  wickedness !" 

"And  get  her  to  go  away,"  said  the  col- 
onel. 

"And  then  come  back  again." 
"  We  might  make  it  an  income  on  trusteed 
property,  the  income  to  cease  if  she  returns 
here,  or  if  she  imshcs  her  claim." 

"  Yes,"  said  the  rector,  struck  by  the  prac- 
tical Avisdom  of  the  idea,  though  much 
averse  to  bargaining  with  sin. 

So,  after  some  further  discussion  and  de- 
nunciation, the  colonel  was  commissioned  to 
call  on  Josie,  and  "  see  what  she  would  take 
to  clear  out,"  as  the  veteran  plainly  express- 
ed it. 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


13.1 


CHxVPTER  XXXIX. 

BUYING  OFF  A  CLAIM.VNT. 

It  is  a  terrible  thing  to  be  an  invalid  :  it 
is  to  Lave  a  double  Avho  is  always  giving 
one  a  vast  amount  of  causeless  trouble :  a 
double  who  pulls  his  origiiu^l  two  ways  at 
once,  and  cull's  him  whichever  waj"^  he  goes. 

Scarcely  had  the  colonel  stalked  out  of 
the  presence  of  the  rector  ere  the  latter  was 
assaulted  by  one  of  those  irrational  terrors 
which  vex  the  souls  and  i)erpl('X  the  wills 
of  valetudinarians.  It  occurred  to  him  that 
Josie  might  take  deep  oft'euso  at  the  eft'ort 
to  get  her  out  of  Washington,  and  might,  in 
revenge,  i)erpctrate  some  deed  of  desperate 
ferocily,  such,  fur  instance,  as  ringing  the 
door-bcU  with  violence,  and  so  killing  Mrs. 
Murray  out  of  hand. 

Strange  as  it  may  seem  to  the  healthy 
mind  wliich  dwells  in  a  sound  body,  this 
whim-wham  struck  him  as  a  real  and  immi- 
nent peril,  and  completely  daunted  him.  He 
actually  ran  to  the  street-door  with  the  pur- 
pose of  calling  back  his  brother,  and  beg- 
ging him  not  to  risk  an  interview  with  the 
family  Messalina  until  they  could  discuss 
the  enterprise  more  fully,  and  decide  that  no 
harm  would  come  of  it.  But  the  colonel, 
knowing  all  about  the  rector's  timorous- 
uess  and  vacillation,  and  bent  upon  doing 
promptly  Avliat  he  believed  must  be  done, 
had  made  a  forced  march  of  it,  and  was  out 
of  sight. 

He  found  Josie  at  home.  She  came  down 
briskly  and  cheerfully  into  the  little  ^ya^deu 
jiarlor  to  receive  her  visitor.  He  was  a  jiet 
with  her,  as  Ave  remember;  she  liked  his 
genial,  kindly  disposition,  and  his  simple, 
child-like  manners ;  and  she  was  intellectu- 
ally capable  of  respecting  his  solid  sense,  his 
manliness,  and  his  uprightness.  Moreover, 
in  her  present  state  of  abandonment  and  of 
depression,  she  felt  that  she  more  than  ever 
needed  the  good-will  of  a  reputable  and 
honest  and  stalwart  soul. 

"The  dear  old  man!"  she  said  to  herself, 
as  she  smilingly  descended  the  stairway. 
"  If  he  were  twenty  years  younger  I  would 
fall  in  love  with  him." 

Aiid  at  the  moment  she  meant  it,  although 
she  did  not  invariably  mean  all  that  she 
said,  nor,  indeed,  all  that  she  thought. 

Meanwhile  she  was  a  bit  afraid  of  him; 
he  might  have  come  to  give  her  a  scolding. 
But  she  was  used  to  scoldings,  and,  in  gen- 
eral, could  take  them  with  disarming  sweet- 
ness, and  had  often  turned  them  into  loving 
reconciliations,  so  that  she  dreaded  them  less 
than  most  people.  Besides,  the  colonel  was 
not  a  womanish  monomaniac  like  his  broth- 
er ;  he  had  that  excellent  common  sense 
which  belongs  to  uncommon  people ;  and 
she  felt  sure  that  ho  would  at  least  hearken 
to  her  defense  of  herself. 

"Good-morning,  Uncle  Julian.     I  am  de- 


lighted to  see  you,"  she  said,  and  kissed  him 
at  once,  a  verj-  endearing  criminal. 

Tlio  kiss  softened  him  somewhat,  as  wom- 
anly kisses  are  apt  to  soften  mankind,  espe- 
cially when  they  drop  from  such  a  shapely 
mouth  as  Josie's.  The  change  of  feeling 
was  suflicient  to  surprise  him,  only  that  Ave 
are  never  surprised  at  our  own  changes  of 
fi^elirtg,  at  least  nut  until  avc  meditate  ui)on 
them  afterward. 

Ever  since  the  last  revelation  concerning 
her  naughtiness,  her  breaking  of  Aveighty 
promises  and  her  ])ersistence  in  scandalous 
lobbying,  there  had  been  in  his  heart  a  con- 
tinuous and,  as  he  supposed,  an  nnalterabh^ 
auger  against  her.  Ho  had  said  to  himself 
that  she  Avas  an  unprincipled  adventuress,  a 
beguiler  of  souls  into  the  ways  of  fraud  and 
perjury,  and  a  disgrace  to  the  Murray  name.  / 
Had  any  man  done  Avhat  Josie  had  done,  he 
Avould  have  desired  to  slap  that  man's  fiice. 

But  the  moment  ho  heard  her  cordial 
greeting,  and  felt  her  youthful  kiss  on  his 
withered  cheek,  it  seemed  to  him  there  Avas 
one  code  of  honor  for  men,  and  another,  far 
less  exacting,  for  Avomen.  Moreover,  there 
she  stood,  smiling  at  him ;  the  prettiest  lit- 
tle tremulous  humming-bird  that  could  he  ; 
perfectly  lady-like  in  her  bearing,  and  spark- 
ling AA'ith  intelligence.  How  could  it  be  that 
one  so  agreeable  to  look  upon  would  persist 
in  AATong-doing  knowingly  and  against  wise 
remonstrance  ?  He  began  to  think  tliat  she 
had  not  been  dealt  Avith  aright,  and  to  hope 
that  she  might  yet  be  made  all  that  a  Mur- 
ray could  be. 

"How  is  Aunt  Huldahf  she  went  on. 
"  No  better  ?  I  am  so  sorry !  HaA'e  you 
come  to  tell  me  that  I  may  see  her?" 

"Not  to-day,"  he  smiled,  quite  amiably 
and  almost  apologetically.  "  John  receiA'cd 
your  little  note;  but  Mrs.  Murraj^  is  not 
strong  enough  to  talk,  and  he — you  knoAV 
him — he  is  in  a  worry  about  her." 

"  You  know,  of  course,  that  they  haA'e 
quarreled  with  me,"  continued  Josie,  eager 
to  state  her  side  of  the  matter,  and  hoping 
to  make  the  colonel  her  allj-.  "You  can  be 
frank  with  me.  I  don't  want  to  evade  the 
subject ;  I  want  to  talk  about  it." 

"  Yes,  Josie ;  I  know  all  about  it,"  he  said, 
with  that  smile  Avhich  people  put  on  Avhea 
they  mean  to  utter  a  petting  remonstrance. 
"I  dropped  in  on  purpose  to  give  you  a 
scolding." 

"You  shall  scold  me  all  you  want  to,  Un- 
cle Julian,"  Josie  smiled  back.  "  I  consider 
a  scolding  from  you  more  of  a  compliment 
than  praise  from  most  people.  It  shows 
that  you  take  an  interest  in  me,  and  wish 
me  well." 

She  meant  to  disarm  him,  make  him  cap- 
tive, and  enroll  him  under  her  banner,  if  the 
thing  were  possible.  Moreover,  there  came 
into  her  head  an  odd  notion,  which,  amazing 
as  it  may  seem  to  normal  humanity,  we  must 


13& 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


positively  auci  fraukly  report,  because  it  il- 
lustrates her  strauge  character. 

It  struck  her,  then,  that  she  might  so  far 
bewitch  Colouel  Murray  as  to  make  him  fall 
in  love  vrith  her,  aud  that  it  might  not  be  a 
bad  thing  to  take  him  for  a  husband.  He 
was  sixty-five  years  old,  to  be  sure  ;  but  her 
betrothed,  Mr.  HoUowbread,  was  sixty.  He 
^as,  at  least,  half  as  rich  as  Mr.  HoUowbread, 
and  quite  as  high  in  the  respect  of  men,  and 
five  times  as  worthy  of  their  respect.  As 
for  his  being  the  uncle  of  her  "  poor  Augus- 
tus," that  would,  of  course,  make  a  queer 
business  of  it ;  but  somehow  she  had  a  fancy 
for  queer  doings.  She  actually  smiled  as 
the  whim  passed  through  her  head,  aud  said 
to  herself,  "I  wonder  how  it  would  seem  to 
be  my  own  auut  V 

To  this  singular  young  womau  there  was 
an  especial  attraction  in  the  novel,  in  the 
unheard-of,  in  the  forbidden. 

"  You  are  right,  Josie,"  said  the  colonel. 
"I  do  wish  you  well.  I  take  an  interest  in 
you  because  you  are  a  Murray,  and  I  take 
an  interest  in  you  personally." 

"  I  thank  you  with  all  my  heart,"  declared 
Josie,  so  honestly  pleased  and  grateful  that 
she  looked  as  good  as  an  angel.  "  But  you 
must  not  forget  your  scolding.  Just  what 
is  it  about  ?  Is  it  because  I  left  Uncle 
John's?  I  was  turned  away,  you  must 
know." 

"  I  know  it,"  he  actually  stammered,  quite 
sorry  for  her,  as  he  noted  a  flush  of  spiritual 
pain  in  her  cheek,  and  half  disposed  to  con- 
cede that  she  had  been  treated  overharshly. 

"Aud  he  scolded  me,  and  I  didn't  answer 
him  back  until  the  very  last,"  continued  Josie. 

"  I  don't  suppose,  my  poor  child,  that  you 
did.     You  are  amazingly  good-tempered." 

"Because  I  am  very  wicked,  probably," 
she  smiled. 

The  colonel  was  bothered.  It  seemed  to 
him  that  he  should  never  be  able  to  begin 
his  reproof;  and  ho  actually  had  to  cast 
about  him  for  reasons  to  push  himself  to  it. 
Presently  he  recollected  that  he  was  there 
to  wrestle  for  the  life  of  his  sister-in-law, 
perhaps  also  for  the  life  or  reason  of  his 
brother,  and  certainly  for  the  honor  of  the 
Murray  name. 

"  It  is  this  foraging  business  of  yours,  Jo- 
sie," he  resumed;  "this  raid  on  the  United 
States  Treasury.  You  are  prosecuting  it 
still.  I  have  called  to  remonstrate  agaiust 
that." 

Now  that  tho  assault  had  come,  Josie  quiv- 
ered under  it ;  but  she  rallied  her  forces,  and 
said  what  she  had  planned  to  say. 

"Uncle  Julian,  suppose  you  were  a  poor 
man,  with  no  trade  or  profession,  and  saw  a 
chance  to  get  a  competency  out  of  the  Gov- 
ernment, would  you  take  it  ?" 

"If  it  was  a  dishonest  chance,  I  would 
starve  first.  At  least,  I  pray  God  that  I 
might  starve  first."  I 


'•'But  suppose  you  were  a  poor  woman 
without  a  trade  or  profession,  would  you 
take  it  ?" 

"  The  temptation  would  be  fixr  greater,  I 
must  admit." 

"  Yes,  it  would  be  very  far  greater.  If 
you  were  a  womau,  you  would  fiud  it  a  re- 
ally prodigious  temptation.  And  now,  sup- 
pose you  did  not  think  this  chance  to  be  a 
wicked  one  ?" 

"  Do  you  mean  to  say  that  you  consider 
your  claim  a  just  one,  Josie  ?"  -, 

"  Several  Congressmen  tell  me  that  it  is 
respectable  enough.  A  good  many  peoi)le 
(and  some  of  them  are  considered  good  peo- 
ple—  pious  people)  are  pushing  just  sucli 
claims.  Any  number  of  such  claims  have 
been  jiassed  Ijy  Congress.  They  have  come 
to  be  an  admitted  thing,  a  respectable  thing. 
And  it  is  not  strange,  either,  that  it  should 
be  so.  There  is  something  of  the  sort  in  al- 
most every  trade  and  profession.  Bankers 
sell  doubtful  stocks  to  tbeir  customers, 
and  don't  hold  their  heads  any  lower  for 
it.  Officers  draw  pay  for  servants  when 
they  employ  soldiers  for  servants.  The 
heads  of  departments  —  .some  of  them,  at 
least  —  keeji  carriages  at  the  cost  of  the 
Treasury.  Does  their  Uncle  Sam  scold  them 
and  turn  them  out  of  house  ?  Why,  our 
American  life  is  full  of  these  things.  There 
are  ever  so  many  men  who  are  drawing  ir- 
regular allowances,  and  who  have  come  to 
consider  them  regular.  Are  women  to  have 
no  such  chances  V 

"  The  country  is  fearfully  rotten,  Josie. 
But,  so  help  me  Heaven!  I  will  not  counte- 
nance its  rottenness,  especially  when  it  in- 
vades my  own  family.  Your  claim  is  a  rot- 
ten one.  It  is  a  demand  for  a  hundred  thou- 
sand dollars  where  not  a  cent  is  owing." 

"  Old  Mr.  Drinkwater  has  sworn  to  a  great 
deal  as  being  burned  besides  the  barn,  and 
the  barn  is  the  only  thing  that  was  ever 
l^aid  for.  Now,  that  was  paid  for ;  that  was 
a  just  claim,  therefore ;  so  why  not  tho  rest  ?" 

"  The  barn  should  not  have  been  paid  for. 
The  Government  is  not  responsible  for  prop- 
erty destroyed  iu  actual  conflict.  There  was 
some  mistake  or  some  swindle  in  the  claim. 
I  am  glad  it  was  a  trustee,  and  not  a  Murray, 
who  presented  it.  As  for  old  Mr.  Drinkwa- 
ter, I  do  not  believe  him.  He  is  either  an 
old  dotard  who  has  lost  his  memory,  or  an 
old  scoundrel  who  does  not  stick  at  perjury. 
Until  he  made  his  last  affidavit,  there  never 
was  any  such  property  heard  of  as  all  these 
wagons  and  flocks  and  herds,  enough  to  fit 
out  a  train  of  emigrants,  or  the  Israelites  in 
tlie  desert,  and  all  crowded  into  one  barn. 
Nobody  in  our  family  ever  heard  of  it.  Tliero 
isn't  a  trace  of  it  in  any  of  tho  family  letters 
and  papers.  Brother  John's  wife,  who  was 
eighteen  years  old  at  tho  time,  and  whose 
memory  for  the  days  of  her  youth  is  extraor- 
dinary, never  heard  of  any  such  property. 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


137 


Josic,  the  wliolo  claim,  T\'itli  its  interests  ami 
its  compouml  interests,  is  an  enormous  fab- 
rication. I  will  use  the  proper  Avord  and 
call  it  a  swindle.  It  is  a  new  outrage  ni)()n 
a  fearfully  lloeced  and  tax-riddeu  people." 

"  It  is  only  a  quarter  of  a  cent  a  head. 
The  Cr(^dit  Mobilier  took  a  dollar  a  head. 
There  are  Senators  and  Representatives  who 
take  as  much  every  session  as  I  ask  only 
once  in  my  life." 

"  They  are  simply  ahominablc  villains.  I 
despise  them  with  all  my  heart  and  mind 
and  strength." 

It  must  bo  admitted  that  it  was  pretty 
hard  upon  Josie  to  denounce  her  job  and  her 
abettors  in  it  with  such  uncompromising 
abhorrence  and  scorn.  But  she  bore  it  Avith 
her  temperamental  sweetness,  merely  llincli- 
ing  a  little  now  and  then,  as  a  lady  might 
nnder  an  unmeant  indecorum,  and  showing 
not  the  first  sign  of  resentment. 

"  There  is  another  view  of  the  case  to  he 
considered,"  added  the  colonel.  "  This  bus- 
iness is  absolutely  Avorrying  to  death  my 
poor  old  sister-in-law  ;  and  yon  may  be  sure 
that  if  she  dies  her  husband  will  not  survive 
her  long." 

Josie  quiA'ered  again,  and  her  young  fore- 
head puckered  into  wrinkles  of  jiaiu ;  the 
blow  was  such  a  severe  one. 

But  she  could  not,  of  course,  look  npon  the 
decease  of  ilrs.  Murray  and  her  husband  as 
the  colonel  looked  upon  it.  To  her  they 
seemed  to  be  A^ery  old  people,  who  Avere 
approaching  or  had  overpassed  the  natural 
term  of  life,  and  Avho  Avere  somewhat  in  the 
way  of  younger  folk. 

"  Uncle  Julian,  they  are  invalids,"  she 
said.  "  Every  grasshopper  is  a  burden  to 
them.  Your  Darwinism  is  a  burden.  They 
should  not  care  so  much  about  my  doings." 

"  Tiiey  can't  helj)  it,  Josie.  You  should 
consider  that." 

"I  can  not  afford  to  consider  it,"  Josie 
confessed,  in  a  low  A'oice  and  after  long  hes- 
itation. 

"I  have  been  too  slow  in  coming  to  that 
point,"  nodded  the  colonel,  glad  that  he  had 
at  last  reached  it.  "  We  propose — my  broth- 
er and  I — to  make  you  an  allowance." 

Our  heroine  crimsoned  with  joyful  hope ; 
perhaps  here  was  a  hundred  thousand  com- 
ing to  her  Avithout  further  labor ;  perhaps 
she  could  secure  it,  and  still  at  some  future 
time  push  her  claim.  At  all  events,  there 
seemed  to  be  a  Avay  of  escape  opened  to  her 
from  the  marriage-ring  of  that  old  Hollow- 
bread.  No  Avonder  that  the  conscienceless 
little  beauty  glowed  Avith  gladness. 

"  We  propose  to  set  aside  for  you  twenty 
thousand  dollars,"  continued  the  colonel. 
Avithout  noting  how  Josie's  countenance  fell 
as  ho  mentioned  the  modest  sum.  "  That, 
with  Avhat  you  have  now,  will  give  you  an 
income  of  eighteen  hundred  a  year,  which  is 
a  respectable  support.     It  is  about  the  pay 


of  a  lieutenant.  A  lady  can  surely  li\-c  oa 
it." 

"A  milliner  might!"  thought  .Josie;  but 
she  did  not  speak,  and  continued  to  Avatch 
him  graciously.  It  might  be  that  behind 
this  skinllint  proffer  there  Avas  coming  a 
hint  of  legacies  and  of  a  share  in  that  uudi- 
A'ided  Murray  estate. 

"Necessarily  there  Avould  bo  a  considera- 
tion and  some  sort  of  a  guarantee,"  the  col- 
onel Avent  on,  stretching  out  his  long  lean 
legs  in  a  Avay  Avhicli  merely  indicated  em- 
barrassment, but  Avhich  seemed  to  her  just 
noAv  rather  offensive.  "  I  will  be  complete- 
ly frank  with  you.  This  sum  Avill  be  trus- 
teed for  you  during  life  ;  you  Avill  liaA'o  only 
the  income.  But  that  makes  it  all  the  safer 
for  you;  you  Avill  ncA'er  lose  the  income. 
By-the-waj',  you  shall  haA^c  something  more 
than  that.  It  is  only  fair  that  you  should 
have  the  right  to  will  this  property,  and 
I  will  SCO  that  the  trust  is  so  arranged. 
Well,  in  return,  we  want  an  agreement  from 
you  that  you  Avill  giA'e  up  your  claim  for- 
ever, and  also  that  you  Avill  reside  other- 
wheres than  in  Washington.  If  that  agree- 
ment is  A'iolated,  then,  by  the  terms  of  the 
trusteeship,  the  income  will  cease,  and  the 
principal  rcA'ert  to  us." 

Josie  made  no  answer.  She  had  hoped  that 
she  was  winning  the  colonel  OA'er  to  her  side, 
and  hero  ho  was  as  unchangeable  as  desti- 
ny, seA'ore  and  cruel  and  insolent.  Disap- 
pointment, humiliation,  and  anger  caused 
her  mouth  to  twitch  like  that  of  a  gricA'cd 
child,  and  rendered  her  incapable  of  speech. 

"I  am  sorry  if  I  liaA'e  pained  you,"  said 
the  old  gentleman.  "  The  conditions  seem 
unkind  to  you,  doubtless.  But  they  are 
aimed  at  a  result  which  we  belioA-o  to  be 
for  the  good  of  all ;  for  your  good  as  well 
as  ours.  Wo  want  to  get  you  away  from 
this  lobbyiug  temptation.  It  brings  ugly 
company." 

"So  hard!  so  insulting!"  whimpered  Jo- 
sie. 

The  colonel  might  fitirly  have  told  her 
that  unscrupulous  people  ought  not  to  es- 
teem themselves  insulted  because  they  do 
not  get  such  treatment  as  is  accorded  to 
persons  of  high  honor  and  truthful  utter- 
ance. But  being  as  yet  in  full  possession  of 
his  temper,  the  courteous  and  sagacious  old 
man  did  not  say  all  that  he  thought. 

"  As  if  you  could  not  believe  my  prom- 
ise!" continued  Josie,  really  and  honestly 
hurt,  just  as  if  she  were  not  a  fibber.  "  You 
have  no  right  to  make  such  insinuations — 
no  right  to  abuse  me  in  that  way." 

"  But,  my  dear,  you  forget !"  in-otested  the 
old  soldier,  rather  too  bluntly.  "You  for- 
get that  we  liaA^e  had  your  promise,  and  that 
it  amounted  to— A'cry  little.  The  thing  slip- 
ped your  memor}',  I  suppose,"  he  concluded, 
in  a  simjile  way,  Avhich  might  have  been  sa- 
tirical. 


138 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


Now,  wLile  Josie  did  not  object  a  bit  to 
lyiug,  she  did  object  decidedly  to  being  told 
that  sbe  was  a  liar. 

'•I  promised  nothing,"  she  asserted,  tart- 
ly. "  It  is  all  nonsense  about  my  xiromis- 
iug  and  breaking  my  promise." 

"  Let  us  pass  that  by,"  said  the  colonel, 
suppressing  an  indignation  which  turned 
his  white  face  to  a  deep  pink.  "  Will  you 
accept  our  offer  as  it  is  ?" 

'•I  can  not — I  must  not — I  will  not,"  an- 
swered Josie,  stammering  through  her  re- 
fusal, and  a  good  deal  frightened  by  it. 

"  Then  I  must  warn  you,  Mrs.  Murray," 
broke  out  the  honorable  man  in  honorable 
wrath — "I  must  warn  you  that,  if  you  jier- 
sist  in  pushing  "your  claim,  we  can  have 
nothing  more  to  do  with  you,  and  shall  cast 
you  off  as  a  disgrace  to  the  family." 

For  once,  at  least,  Josie  lost  her  self-com- 
mand, and  answered  back  in  open  spite  and 
retaliation. 

"  Colonel,"  she  said,  "  please  to  remember 
that,  if  I  am  a  connection  of  yours,  I  am  also 
a  woman." 

"  I  beg  your  pardon,  madam,"  responded 
the  old  gentleman,  rising.  "  I  will  remem- 
ber that  you  are  a  woman,  and  forget  that 
you  are  a  connection." 

And  off"  he  strode,  daunting  her  consider- 
ably even  in  his  retreat,  so  grandly  scornful 
was  his  manner,  and  so  much  money  did  ho 
carry  away  with  him. 

Did  Josie  at  the  moment  perceive  and  ad- 
mire his  moral  loftiness?  Well,  she  could 
hardly  appreciate  it  when  ho  was  not  an 
obstacle  ;  but  divinity  itself,  as  an  obstacle, 
would  not  have  seemed  worshipful  to  her. 
Does  it  to  any  of  us  ? 

Presently  she  ran  up  stairs  to  Mrs.  War- 
den, and  gave  her  a  garbled  account  of  the 
interview,  magnifying  her  own  nobility  in 
refusing  the  Murray  greenbacks,  to  all  which 
her  auditor  listened,  for  the  most  part  in  si- 
lence. Only  at  the  last  this  impoverished, 
wearied,  and  ofttimes  hopeless  claim-hunt- 
er sighed  out,  "I  wish  somebody  would  try 
to  buy  mc  off." 

"/  will,"  laughed  Josie,  with  make-be- 
lieve gayety;  "that  is, when  my  ship  comes 
in.  Whichever  of  us  wins  shall  help  the 
loser.     We  will  bank  together." 

And  Mrs.  Warden,  feeling  that  her  young 
friend's  luck  was  better  than  her  own,  de- 
cided to  stand  by  her  for  the  present,  even 
at  the'risk  of  a  quarrel  with  the  Murrays. 


CHAPTER  XL. 

BETTER   AT   LENGTH. 

Old  Mrs.  IMurray  had  never  heard  of  the 
scene  between  her  brother-iu-la\Y  and  Josie ; 
but  sbe  inferred  from  the  silence  of  her  hus- 


band respecting  the  claim  that  it  was  still 
afoot. 

No  doubt  this  scandalous  business  did  its 
part  in  hurrying  her  frail  being  toward  that 
chasm  which  yawns  at  the  crumbling  base 
of  the  declivity  of  years.  The  rector,  who 
was  always  ready  to  attest,  and  perhaps  to 
believe,  that  his  old  wife  had  "  as  good  health 
as  any  body,"  asserted  constantly  that  it  was 
the  claim  which  was  killiug  her,  and  that  it 
was  her  only  ailment.  Sometliing,  undoubt- 
edly, was  working  her  evil ;  she  failed,  vis- 
ibly and  rapidly,  from  day  to  day.  She,  too, 
thought  that  Josie's  suit  was  the  cause  of 
her  illness,  and  fretted  a  great  deal  over  the 
irritating  snpiiositiou. 

Several  times  she  said  to  her  husband,  with 
a  peevishness  of  utterance  which  seemed  be- 
yond her  strength, 

"  That  woman  will  kill  me." 

Yet,  had  there  been  no  claim,  something 
else  might  easily  have  worried  her  feeble  life 
out;  she  might  have  died  of  listening  for  the 
street-noises,  or  of  counting  the  specks  on 
the  ceiling;  for  at  the  last  moment  in  the 
race  every  little  obstacle  is  able  to  trip  the 
tired  foot.  That  one  pre-eminent  annoyance, 
however,  swallowed  up  all  minor  troubles, 
and  threatened  to  devour  her  also. 

lu  these  latter  days,  by-thc-way,  she  laid 
a  heavy  burden  upon  her  husband.  She 
could  no  longer  take  thought  of  his  weak- 
ness, and  control  her  own  agitations  for  the 
sake  of  keeping  him  tranquil,  as  she  had 
done  so  often  for  so  many  years.  Nor  was 
he  stroug  enough  to  endure  his  load  without  a 
reeling  and  a  fi'etfulness  which  increased  her 
trouble.  They  worried  each  other  incessant- 
ly, without  the  slightest  intention,  and  yet 
Avith  great  cruelty.  Thoy  were  two  pure, 
honorable,  pious  people,  and  nevertheless 
they  led  a  profoundly  wretched  life,  more 
unhappy  than  the  mass  of  the  "  unco'  wick- 
ed." It  seemed  very  unjust,  and  it  was  sure- 
ly very  pitiable. 

A  single  one  of  the  brief,  doleful  dialogues 
which  they  held  with  each  other  will  ex- 
hibit sufficiently  the  sombre  nature  of  their 
existence. 

After  one  of  her  long  fits  of  speechless  lan- 
guor, rcsembliug  insensibility  aud  nearly 
counterfeiting  death,  Mrs.  Murray  roused 
herself,  turned  her  faded,  watery  eyes  iu 
search  of  her  husband,  and  gasped,  jiettishly, 

"That  woman  will  kill  me!" 

P)y-the-way,  it  must  be  understood  that, 
although  she  uttered  this  prophecy  very  do- 
lorously, she  did  not  utter  it  with  full  sin- 
cerity. Life  had  been,  on  the  whole,  de- 
llglitful  to  her,  and  she  was  far  from  being 
willing  to  part  with  it,  or  from  sujtposiug 
that  her  departure  was  really  near.  Had 
some  authoritative  messenger  proclaimed  to 
her  that  death  was  not  far  away,  the  revela- 
tion would  have  been  not  merely  a  keen  af- 
fliction, but  also  a  startling  surprise.    Never- 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


139 


tliclcss,  she  -would  persist  iii  declaring,  from 
time  to  time,  "That  Avoinan  Avill  kill  me." 

'"Oil  dear!"  groaned  the,  husband.  " This 
is  Satan's  own  Avorld.  His  childrcu  have 
power  to  slay." 

'■T  don't  s(?o  how  she  can  do  so,"  murmured 
the  old  lady,  her  brief  pulsation  of  streugth 
beginning  to. pass  away. 

"  It  is  Avondcrful  and  dreadful,"  sighed 
the  prematurely  old  mad.  "  It  is  ouc  of  the 
mysteries  of  siu." 

"  Mysteries  of  sin,"  repeated  Mrs.  Murray, 
in  a  ^Yhisper,  still  ruled  by  her  aft'ectionate 
admiration  of  her  husband,  and  still  caimblo 
of  saying  litany  to  his  utterances. 

"But  Ave  must  not  talk  of  it  now,  IIul- 
dah,"  he  added,  suddenly  alarmed  for  her. 
Indeed,  he  had  already  greatly  overtaxed  her 
strength,  or,  rather,  permitted  her  to  over- 
tax it. 

Her  head  Avas  sinking  lower  on  her  pil- 
low, as  if  some  supernatural  abyss  A^-ere 
suckiug  her  down,  and  she  A\-ould  disappear 
presently  from  his  sight.  Her  small,  Avilted, 
puckered  face  turned  whiter  than  its  accus- 
tomed Avhiteness,  and  her  lips  parted  dumb- 
ly and  inexpressively,  like  those  of  one  late- 
ly dead.  Then  came  one  of  his  spasms  of 
terror :  shouting  for  the  nurse  in  the  adjoin- 
ing room,  ringing  for  all  the  servants  in  the 
Louse,  sending  wild  messages  for  the  doctor, 
and  all  the  while  Avhimpering,  "  Huldah ! 
Iluldah !" 

It  was  a  torturing  life,  painful  to  look 
upon.  There  were  scenes  of  distress  and  de- 
spair too  pitiable  for  description,  and  Avhich 
seemed  to  belong,  not  to  .this  earth,  but  to 
some  Avorld  of  unmixed  sorrow  and  lament. 
How  coukl  it  be  otherwise  when  a  sick  man 
undertook  to  care  personally  for  a  sick  wom- 
an whom  he  tenderly  loA'ed  ? 

Any  chance  observer  would  have  said  that 
the  rector  ought  to  have  been  sent  away  and 
kept  away.  But  nothing  short  of  force  could 
liave  debarred  him  from  that  bedside;  and, 
had  he  failed  from  it,  all  the  sooner  would  it 
have  become  a  death-bed.  Since  their  mar- 
riage these  two  people  had  never  been  sep- 
arated for  a  day;  and  to  haA'e  divided  them 
now  would  have  been  to  slay  the  Avcaker  at 
once,  and  the  other  shortly. 

Outside  of  the  sick-room  the  rector's  con- 
duct was  as  strange  as  within  it ;  it  was  of 
a  piece  with  his  unsteady  gait  and  his  spas- 
modic or  relaxed  features.  People  do  not 
imagine  odder  things  in  reverie  than  he  did 
in  reality,  only  that  (as  usually  happens,  too, 
in  reverie)  he  mostly  left  his  purposes  nn- 
completed.  It  might  be  said  that  his  life 
noAv  was  a  series  of  transitions  from  one 
broken,  disturbing  dream  to  another. 

He  wrote  a  letter  to  Josie,  summoning  her 
to  "  come  and  look  upon  her  murderous 
ATork ;"  but  he  never  sent  it,  lest  she  should 
appear,  and  the  sight  of  her  should  kill  his 
Avife.     Ho  wrote  another  letter  to  request 


the  attendance  of  a  distinguished  medical 
specialist  in  New  York,  and  l)urned  that  also, 
for  fear  his  precious  invalid  should  suspect 
that  her  case  was  a  dcsi)crato  one.  He  com- 
menced a  memorial  to  Congress  against  tlio 
Murray  claim,  but  stopped,  fatigued  and  diz- 
zy, in  the  mitUUo  of  the  second  st-ntcnce. 
Then  ho  fell  to  studying  medical  books  and 
quack  advertisements  in  newspniiers,  with 
the  hope  of  finding  a  remedy  Avhich  Avould 
set  old  ago  on  its  feet  in  full  vigor. 

^leantime  ho  Avould  admit  to  no  one  that 
Mrs.  Murray  Avas  ill,  or  even  noticeably  Avcak. 
She  Avould  soon  be  about  again,  he  said  ;  she 
was  stronger  than  himself,  and  much  strong- 
er than  most  young  Avomen  ;  she  had  a  con- 
stitution of  iron,  like  all  her  ancestors.  Yes, 
he  llatly  fibbed  about  her  health,  as  indeed 
ho  always  had  done.  Even  to  the  colonel 
he  recited  these  absurd  tales,  although  he 
must  haA*e  known  that  his  listener  would  not 
credit  them,  and  could  not  make  believe  to 
credit  them  without  difficulty. 

Tlie  dialogues  of  pretended  confidence 
which  he  held  with  his  brother  at  this  period 
were  both  whimsical  and  pathetic.  The  one 
told  as  true  what  he  Avauted  to  have  true ; 
and  the  other,  sure  that  it  Avas  false,  express- 
ed his  pleasure  at  hearing  it. 

Once,  when  Julian  called  on  John,  he  found 
him  searching  for  some  sovereign  cure  in  an 
ancient,  many- colored  basket,  full  of  pill- 
boxes with  broken  crowns,  and  phials  with 
smirched  physiognomies,  the  hoardings  of 
Mrs.  Murray  through  many  years,  and  conse- 
quently the  veneration  of  her  husband. 

"This  must  be  it/'  said  the  rector,  pick- 
ing up  Avith  tremulous  eagerness  a  little  flat- 
fish, circular  package.  "  Julian,  I  wish  you 
would  read  that  inscription  for  me.  My 
glasses  don't  seem  to  work  of  late." 

The  colonel  put  on  his  spectacles,  bent 
over  his  brother's  quivering  hand,  and  read, 
in  the  round,  formal  writing  of  Mrs.  Murray, 
"Top  of  pomatum-bottle." 

"Ah,  yes,"  said  the  rector,  almost  gladden- 
ed by  this  memento  of  happier  days.  "  It  is 
a  bottle  Avhicli  got  broken  some  years  ago, 
and  Huldah  put  away  the  stopper." 

"  What  a  bump  of  order  she  has !"  respond- 
ed the  colonel,  scarcely  repressing  a  smile. 
"I  ncA'er  saAv  any  bodj'  who  beat  her  for  as- 
sorting and  pigeon-holing  and  indorsing. 
She  ought  to  have  been  in  the  War  Dej)art- 
meut." 

"Oh,  she  is  a  wonderful  woman,"  sighed 
the  husband,  in  perfect  good  faith.  "  EA'ery 
little  loose  article  in  the  liouse  is  folded  up 
and  neatly  tied,  and  legibly  labeled  in  just 
that  way.  She  is  a  jierson  of  iuunense  in- 
dustry and  oversiglit.  Every  tiling  has  its 
place  and  its  sujierscription.  Whatever  yon 
find,  you  can  tell  at  a  glance  what  it  is,  just 
the  same  as  if  yon  saw  it."' 

"Only,  if  there  had  been  no  envelope  on 
this  affair,"  Julian  could  not  help  suggest- 


110 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


iug,  "  we  slioiild  have  known  it  for  a  piece 
of  potteiy  without  our  specs." 

"But  this  is  so  much  neater!"  said  the 
rector,  almost  ready  to  shed  tears  of  admi- 
ration upon  the  package  while  he  replaced 
it.  "  It  is  so  like  her !  She  has  kept  all  our 
affairs  of  every  sort  in  the  same  order,"  he 
added,  and  with  a  considerahle  accuracy  of 
statement,  for  Mrs.  Murray  had  been  a  wise 
woman  financially,  and  in  her  prime  a  sensi- 
ble one  every  way.  "  If  it  had  not  been  for 
her,  I  should  have  made  ducks  and  drakes 
of  our  iiossessions  long  ago." 

"Yes,  you  were  extravagant  once,  John, 
and  Huldahhas  been  of  great  service  to  you," 
conceded  the  elder  brother,  wondering  the 
while  at  the  strange  ways  in  which  men  are 
led  to  good  or  to  evil. 

He  had  feared,  when  John  married  a  wom- 
an fifteen  years  his  senior,  that  the  result 
would  be  speedy  disillusion,  quarrels,  and 
perhaps  scandals.  But  it  had  only  been  a 
life-long  content,  and  an  exemxilary,  a  won- 
drous, affection. 

Such  is  the  power  of  character,  of  instinct- 
ive, and,  one  might  say,  irrational,  tenden- 
cies, over  circumstances  and  hinderauces. 

"I  should  have  gone  to  utter  wreck,  body 
and  soul,  for  this  world  and  for  the  nest, 
without  her,"  was  the  rector's  next  loving 
hj'perbole.  "And  even  now,  if  she  should  be 
taken  away,  I  don't  know  what  the  end 
would  be  with  me,"  the  shaking  old  gentle- 
man declared,  as  if  he  were  still  capable  of 
dissijiation. 

Presently  another  package  was  found,  like- 
wise neatly  folded  in  white  i)aper  and  legi- 
bly legended.  The  colonel  took  it  and  read 
aloud,  "  Leaves  of  a  rose  given  me  by  Mrs. 
Augustus  Murray  on  her  wedding-day." 

"  That  creature !"  exclaimed  the  rector, 
slightly  recoiling,  as  if  from  the  preserved 
venom  of  a  serpent.  "Julian,  I  had  better 
destroy  those  leaves,  don't  you  think  so  ? 
She  never  could  look  upon  them  again  ;  they 
would  give  her  one  of  her  faint  turns.  I 
really  think  I  had  better  burn  them."  Then 
he  checked  himself.  "  No !  She  put  them 
up.  I  had  better  leave  them  just  there. 
What  do  you  think,  Julian  ?" 

The  colonel,  after  pondering  for  a  moment, 
and  saying  to  himself  that  John  was  surely 
losing  his  reason,  replied  considerately  that 
the  matter  might  perhaps  be  referred  to  Mrs. 
Murray  when  she  should  get  about  again. 

"  Precisely,"  nodded  the  rector,  gravely. 
"Julian,  I  feel  as  if  I  had  been  liandling  a 
dose  of  deadly  poison,"  ho  added,  shaking 
his  fingers  with  a  shudder,  and  a  shudder, 
too,  of  profound  feeling.  "I  can  not  tliiuk 
of  that  woman  without  thinking  of  the  Mar- 
cliiouess  of  Brinvilliers.  She  has  put  hem- 
lock and  arsenic  in  my  wife's  cup  of  life. 
She  has  been  the  cause,  the  sole  cause,  the 
wicked  and  willful  cause,  of  Iluldah's  illness. 
Not  that  it  is  dangerous.    Thanks  be  to  the 


mercy  of  Heaven,  it  will  soon  pass  away. 
But  it  might  have  been  dangerous.  I  shall 
always  hold  her  responsible  for  all  that  has 
happened,  and  for  all  that  might  have  hap- 
pened." 

It  seemed  to  the  colonel  that  he  ought  to 
remonstrate  once  more  against  this  exaggera- 
tion of  Josie's  malign  enchantments.  He  did 
not  specially  care  to  defend  the  character 
and  life  of  a  young  woman  whom  he  now  re- 
garded with  no  little  contempt  and  with 
some  anger;  but  he  had  an  instinctive  de- 
sire to  state  the  cool,  judicial  truth  on  all 
subjects  whatsoever,  and,  moreover,  he  want- 
ed to  prevent  his  brother  from  sliding  into 
the  chasm  of  a  monomania. 

"  It  appears  to  me  that  you  rather  over- 
state that  case,  John,"  he  began.  "Josie's 
conduct  has  no  doubt  agitated  Huldah,  and 
been  one  cause  of  her — of  her  sick  turn,  in 
short.  But  not  the  sole  cause,  I  should  say. 
Your  wife  was  not  strong  before.  It  would 
be  only  fair  to  attribute  somewhat  of  her 
present  weakness  to — to — in  fact,  to  declin- 
ing years." 

The  rector's  revolt  from  this  suggestion 
was  violent,  and  it  led  him  to  make  a  state- 
ment which  was  surely  very  remarkable,  at 
least  in  view  of  his  character  as  a  clergy- 
man. 

"  She  is  not  old  enough  to  account  for  such 
an  attack,"  he  broke  out  in  an  agitated  voice. 
"  She  is  only  a  year  or  two  older  than  mv- 
self." 

"  Well,  well,  you  know  best,"  muttered  the 
colonel,  pacifically  and  almost  apologetical- 
ly. Then  he  said  to  himself  as  he  had  said 
a  hundred  times  before,  "John  is  just  like  a 
woman,  and  always  was." 

"  She  has  more  solid  health  than  nine 
young  women  out  of  ten,"  repeated  the  rec- 
tor, for  the  twentieth  time  in  the  last  week. 
"  She  has  a  constitution  of  iron." 

But  all  this  aiiectionate  and  piteous  fib- 
bing about  Mrs.  Murray's  age  and  health 
could  not  deceive  Death.  One  day  ho  came, 
the  tigerish  separator  and  destroyer,  cruel  to 
the  victim  of  his  stealthy  creepings,  still  more 
cruel  to  the  maimed  and  sorrowing  survivor. 
Unheard  and  by  surprise  he  came  ;  up  to  the 
last  instant  ho  Iiad  lurked  from  covert  to 
covert;  even  when  he  was  sucking  away 
the  life-blood,  no  spectator  of  the  tragedy 
divined  it;  no,  not  even  was  the  dying  one 
aware  that  his  fangs  were  fastened  upon  hei", 
never  to  be  loosened. 

Her  husband  had  often  noted  changes  in 
her  fixco  which  startled  him ;  he  noted  one 
such  now,  and  was  alarmed  by  it ;  but  no 
more  than  usual.  He  was  sitting  near  lier, 
timning  lier  gently  by  moments  to  give  her 
easier  breath,  and  by  moments  ceasing  lest 
he  should  chill  her  feeble  life. 

Her  eyes  were  closed,  but  ho  knew  that 
she  was  not  slumbering,  for  now  and  then 
the  wrinkled  lids  parted  slightly.     It  seem- 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


141 


ed  to  him  as  if  slio  -were  looking  to  malco 
sure  that  he  was  there  before  she  could  dare 
to  loose  her  hold  on  ■waking  consciousness. 
lie  was  uneasy,  and  wanted  often  to  say 
"IluUlah,"  but  still  restrained  himself  for 
fear  of  disturbing  her. 

There  was  a  blessed  hope  in  his  heart  (a 
vague  and  flickering  but  still  comforting 
hope)  tljat  she  would  fall  healthily  asleep, 
and  awake  greatly  refreshed  by  some  mar- 
vel, and  then  be  quite  herself  agaiu. 

Of  a  sudden  ho  observed  that  ominous 
change  in  her  visage  ;  or  was  it  only  a  dark- 
ening, a  passing  tremor,  of  his  wearied  eye- 
sight ?  lie  east  an  impatient  glance  at  the 
curtained  window,  and  then  bent  forward 
eagerlj-  to  study  those  jirecious,  faded  fea- 
tures. 

"Are  you  better,  Huldah?"  he  whispered, 
too  anxious  to  keep  silence  longer. 

Observe  the  tender,  cheering  form  of  the 
question ;  he  never,  by  any  chance,  asked 
her  if  she  were  worse. 

"  Yes — better,"  she  whispered  back,  open- 
ing her  eyes  merely  to  close  them,  and  be- 
coming the  while  swiftly  other-world-like. 

Yes,  she  was  "better  at  length,"  better 
"  of  the  fever  called  living."  She  had  bent 
lier  last  earthly  gaze  upon  her  loved  one, 
and  spoken  to  him  her  last  mortal  syllable. 

Crowding  drops  of  persiiiratiou  gushed 
out  upon  the  bereaved  man's  high,  bald, 
ashy  forehead.  He  spoke  to  his  wife  again  ; 
he  took  her  hand  to  see  if  it  was  cold ;  he 
pressed  it,  di-ew  her  by  it,  kissed  it. 

But  these  gentle  solicitations  and  timor- 
ous urgencies  elicited  no  echo  from  the  mys- 
terious distances  without  horizon  which  had 
rnshed  in  between  him  and  the  soul  which 
was  lately  his  comrade. 

The  thought  crossed  him  that  he  was 
alone  in  the  world  ;  that  he  was  floating  on 
the  frail  wreck  of  his  life  alone.  This 
thought  came  upon  him  suddenly,  like  a 
murderer,  and  struck  him  a  torturing,  cra- 
zing blow. 

"Ob,  Huldah,  Huldah!"  he  called  aloud, 
in  a  high,  quavering  scream,  meanwhile 
clutching  the  arms  of  the  lifeless  body  and 
shaking  them  with  maniacal  force. 

There  was  uo  protest  against  the  violence, 
and  uo  return  from  the  far-away  refuge. 
There  was  nothing  but  the  unconscious  pla- 
cidity and  the  unresisting  meekness  of  death. 

Then  came  loud,  hoarse  shouts  for  assist- 
ance— for  the  nurse,  for  Sarah,  for  all  the 
domestics  by  name,  for  persons  who  were 
not  in  the  house — for  Julian  and  the  doctor. 

One  would  have  said  that  uo  such  voice 
had  ever  been  heard  before  on  earth,  so 
strange  and  uuhuman  was  this  broken,  in- 
distinct, and  yet  stentorian,  bellowing.  It 
was  like  the  cry  of  great  animals  in  pain, 
or  of  newly  created,  nondescript,  monstrous 
creatures. 

Help  arrived  promiith".      There  was   a 


wild  application  of  stimulants  and  otlicr 
restoratives;  messengers  were  sent  for  the 
physician  and  the  colonel.  Meanwhile  the 
bereaved  husband  shouted  directions  in  the 
thick  speech  of  a  paralytic,  and  tlien  sud- 
denly dropped  on  his  knees  by  tlio  bedside, 
there  to  pray  in  sobs  and  whisperings. 

lint  prayer  was  not  enough  ;  it  seemed  to 
him  that  human  remedies  might  still  avail ; 
and,  tottering  to  his  feet,  he  reconunenced  a 
labor  witliout  hope.  Wlien  the  colonel  ar- 
rived he  found  his  sister-in-law  quite  dead, 
and  his  brother  striving  with  stimulants  to 
bring  her  out  of  a  swoon. 

"  John,  it  is  useless,"  said  the  old  soldier, 
taking  the  clergyman  by  the  arm.  "John, 
be  a  man  and  a  Christian !  John,  surrender 
to  your  God !" 

"  Oh,  if  the  Master  would  but  call  us  both 
together !"  implored  the  widower,  in  a  harsh, 
piercing  whisper,  lifting  up  his  shaking 
hands  to  heaven.  Then  recollecting,  per- 
haps, how  he  had  exhorted  others  to  bear 
their  bereavements  with  submission,  he  add- 
ed, in  the  same  strained,  exalted  hiss :  "  But 
I  will  summon  all  mj-  strength  and  say — His 
will  be  done !" 

"  It  is  done,"  answered  the  colonel,  burst- 
ing into  a  sob — his  first  sob  for  near  half  a 
century. 

"iS'o/"  exclaimed  the  rector,  in  a  loud 
scream  of  despairing  denial,  and  fell  sense- 
less to  the  floor. 


CHAPTER  XLI. 

now  JOSIE  BOKE  IT. 

"  I  t^NTDERSTAXD  that  your  claim  killed  the 
old  lady — haw,  haw  !"  Mr.  Sykes  Drnmmoud 
had  the  indiscretion  and  the  bad  taste  to  say 
to  Josie. 

Able  as  Drummoud  was  in  the  coarser  and 
wickeder  business  of  the  world,  he  was  in 
some  matters  stonily  stupid,  owing  to  a  want 
of  sensitiveness  which  incapacitated  him 
from  sympathizing  with  others,  and  so  pre- 
vented him  from  guessing  their  feelings  and 
their  resulting  opinions. 

"If  it  did  kiU  the  old  lady,  it  has  helped 
the  old  gentleman,"  Josie  answered,  i)rompt- 
ly,  though  with  a  flush  of  vexation  and  pain 
on  her  face.  "  The  dear  old  man  is  freed 
from  his  servitude.  He  will  now  take  a  rest, 
and  have  a  good  time.  The  next  we  shall 
hear  of  him  will  bo  that  he  is  frequenting 
the  theatres,  and  traveling  all  over  Europe, 
and  courting  a  young  lady." 

In  these  words  she  uttered  the  common 
opinion,  but  not  her  own  opinion.  She  was 
too  clever  in  divining  the  tendencies  of  emo- 
tional people,  and  she  had  studied  her  wid- 
owed relative  too  closely  not  to  suspect  that 
he  had  received  a  deep  wound,  and  perhaps 
an  incurable  one.     But  a  series  of  vicious 


142 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


circumstances  had  so  hurt  aud  angered  her, 
that  for  a  moment  she  lost  her  self-possession 
aud  s^ioke  vindictively. 

She  was  indignant  at  Drummond — indig- 
nant hecause  of  his  coarse  joke,  and  his  hint 
that  he  knew  somewhat  of  the  family  quar- 
rel— so  indignant  that  she  actually  thought 
of  marrying  him  merely  to  get  a  chance  to 
torture  him. 

Furthermore,  she  was  offended  with  the 
poor  rector  aud  his  hrother,  hecause  they  had 
inflicted  a  social  stigma  upon  her,  aud  shown 
what  she  considered  iudelicate  hostility  hy 
failing  to  invite  her  to  the  funeral. 

The  hlame  of  this  slight,  hy-the-way,  must 
not  he  imputed  to  the  colonel.  He  had 
thought  and  ventured  to  urge  that  Josie 
should  receive  an  invitation,  rather  than 
have  all  Washington  gossipdom  wondering 
over  her  ahseuco  aud  nosing  after  the  rea- 
son of  it. 

But  the  rector  could  not  take  a  rational 
view  of  the  suhject.  He  insisted  that  she 
was  the  fiendish  murderess  of  his  angelic 
Huldah,  and  that  it  would  he  horrihle  to  let 
her  come  to  gloat  over  her  work ;  in  short, 
he  so  raved  that  the  colonel  passed  the  girl 
over  without  a  hillet. 

So  she  had  felt  herself  driven  to  fih  ahout 
it ;  to  exiilain  that  illness  had  prevented  her 
from  attending  the  ohsequies,  and  to  coun- 
terfeit a  hedi'idden  state  for  a  day  or  two. 

Of  course  the  whole  ugly  husiness  had  heen 
exceedingly  rasping  to  her,  and  she  was  not 
in  a  temper  to  speak  other  relatives  with  ju- 
dicial fair-mindedness.  It  was  characteris- 
tic of  this  ahle  young  creature,  however,  that, 
even  under  the  irritation  of  Drummond's 
gravelly  speech,  she  did  not  utter  an  overtly 
augry  syllahle,  nor  expose  her  feelings  by  so 
much  as  an  acid  intonation.  Her  prediction 
as  to  the  cheerfulness  of  the  rector's  widow- 
hood was  delivered  with  a  pleasant  counte- 
nance and  a  musical  little  laugh.  Except- 
ing those  palpitations  which  prompt  to  love- 
making,  Josie  was,  to  a  wonderful  extent, 
mistress  of  her  feelings. 

"  So  you  think  the  old  fellow  will  want  to 
marry  again?"  said  Drummond.  "I  can't 
see  it  in  that  light.  When  a  man  has  had  a 
rough  time  with  one  wife,  it  doesn't  seem 
probable  that  he  should  want  to  try  another 
in  a  hurry." 

"  My  uncle  never  know  that  he  had  a  hard 
time.  He  was  distractedly  fond  of  his  old 
lady." 

"  I  thought  you  called  it  a  servitude." 

"  So  it  was.  But  he  served  willingly,  and 
considered  it  a  privilege.  Ho  was  like  the 
loyal  negroes  of  old  times  who  worshiped 
their  masters." 

"I  can't  imagine  liis  being  fond  of  her." 

"You  can't  imagine  any  body  beiug  fond 
of  any  body,  I  suppose." 

"I  beg  your  pardon,  Mrs.  Murray.  I  can 
imagine  myself  as  beiug  very  fond  of  you,  if 


I  might  bo  allowed  the  privilege.  But  your 
worthy  relative  was  very  different  from 
you ;  she  was  very  old  and  very  plain,  aud  a 
domestic  tyrant." 

"  The  tyrannj'  doesn't  hinder.  In  fact, 
tlie  better  people  are  governed,  the  more  con- 
tented they  are." 

"  I  believe  you  are  right  there,"  said  Drum- 
mond, glancing  at  her  with  a  sort  of  respect- 
ful surprise.  "  It  is  not  a  favorite  doctrine 
in  America,  but  I  believe  it  is  a  true  one. 
TLe  more  severely  our  volunteers  were  disci- 
plined, the  less  they  grumbled  at  their  ofifl- 
cers.  How  the  deuce  do  you  find  out  these 
things  at  your  age  ?" 

Notwithstanding  the  con^pliment,  Josie 
was  not  pleased  with  this  speech.  She  found 
the  word  "deuce"  objectionable,  not  as  be- 
iug a  profanity  or  a  vulgarity,  but  as  beiug 
<a  liberty.  Mr.  Drummond  had  to  be  check- 
ed all  the  while,  and  it  seemed  to  her  that  ho 
ought  to  be  checked  now. 

It  may  be  remembered  that  she  used  to  be 
afraid  of  him  during  their  earlier  interviews, 
but  she  had  long  since  discovered  that  she 
could  control  him  by  a  judicious  mixture  of 
coquetry  and  hufflng,  aud  she  stood  in  awe 
of  him  no  longer.  It  was  usual  with  her  to 
be  thus  moved  by  men  on  first  encountering 
them,  aud  to  learn  afterward  to  treat  them 
as  the  frogs  treated  King  Log  the  Great. 

"  I  learued  ever  so  much  by  studying  the 
hard  case  of  Miss  Nancy  Appleyard,"  she  an- 
swered, well  knowing  that  he  hated  the  sub- 
ject. "  There  is  an  instance  of  love  growing 
under  discipline.  The  more  you  ill-treat 
that  poor  creature,  the  fiister  she  runs  after 
you.  And  if  ever  you  marry  her  (as  I  sup- 
pose you  will  some  day),  aud  if  ever  she  gets 
the  upper  hand,  then  you  will  worship  her." 

"Haw,  haw,  haw!"  roared  Drummond, 
with  counterfeit  merriment.  "  By-the-way, 
I  have  something  new  to  tell  you  about 
Squire  Appleyard.  She — or  he,  haw,  haw  ! 
— had  the  courage  to  come  to  my  boarding- 
house  aud  take  her  meals  there.  I  told  her 
decidedly  that  it  would  not  do,  and  that  one 
of  us  two  must  leave.  I  murmured  that  ten- 
der sentiment  in  her  car  over  our  very  first 
breakfast  in  company." 

"And  how  did  she  bear  it  ?"  giggled  Josie, 
forgetting  all  her  bitternesses  in  the  fun  of 
this  story. 

" '  De  buckwheat  cake  was  in  her  mouf,  an 
de  tear  was  in  her  eye,' "  quoted  Druuunoud. 
"  But  she  deferred  to  my  opinion,  aud  tore 
herself  away." 

"  You  did  your  landlady  a  favor.  I  under- 
stand that  Miss  Nancy  pays,  just  as  weak- 
minded  women  do,  in  promises.  Of  course 
it  is  not  her  fault.  How  can  she  have  a 
practice  without  clients  V 

"  It  is  a  pity  she  hadn't  a  barn  in  lier  fam- 
ily," grinned  Drunuuoiul,  Avho  wanted  to 
punish  Josio  for  introducing  this  Ai)ployard 
topic.    "  Your  little  claim  goes  on  swimmiug- 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


143 


ly,  I  suppose,  in  spite  of  ]Mrs.  Murray's  fihost. 
We  are  impenitently  hell-bent  on  it,  cli  ?" 

"  Gentlemen  sboukl  not  use  profane  lan- 
guage before  ladies,  my  dear  lawgiver." 

"  That  is  news  to  me — haw,  haw  !  Yon 
don't  object  to  Senator  Rigdon  swearing  by 
the  bale  in  your  iircsence." 

"  Senator  Kigdon  is  a  character — a  humor- 
ist. I  don't  so  much  object  to  a  man's  swear- 
ing when  it  is  a  part  of  his  circulation.  Tiie 
Senator  doesn't  mean  any  thing  disagreeable 
by  bad  language,  any  more  than  ^Ir.  Hollow- 
bread  docs  by  breathing  loud.  IJesides,  he 
is  a  member  of  the  Upper  House." 

"  You  seem  to  be  in  a  tomahawking  and 
scalping  humor  to-day,"  grumbled  the  hu- 
miliated member  of  the  Lower  House.  "Per- 
haps, if  I  should  go  away  it  might  be  a  com- 
fort to  you." 

"  You  had  better  stay  and  behave  pretty," 
said  Josie,  coolly,  but  granting  him  a  twinkle 
of  a  snule. 

And  Mr.  Drummond,  though  he  had  been 
considerably  tomahawked  and  scalped,  did 
stay  and  behave  his  prettiest. 

During  the  ■n-hole  of  this  chitchat  and 
light  banter  Josie  ■was  impatiently  expect- 
ing a  letter  from  one  or  other  of  her  uncles. 
She  had  not  wanted  to  part  with  her  hus- 
band's wealthy  and  patrician  relatives  ;  and, 
now  that  Aunt  Huldah  no  longer  ruled  the 
family,  she  was  eager  to  return  to  it. 

Remembering  how  completely  the  rector 
had  lived  for  his  wife,  she  inferred  that  he 
had  only  opposed  the  claim  in  the  natural 
course  of  marital  obedience,  and  that  Mrs. 
Murray  vras  the  real  author  of  the  opposi- 
tion. With  her  death,  of  course,  all  that 
hostility  might  have  died  out,  and  the  wid- 
ower might  receive  v^ith  pleasure  an  ofter 
of  reconciliation.  No  doubt  he  was  full  of 
sorrow,  but  bereavements  sometimes  soft- 
ened people's  hearts,  and  made  them  wel- 
come any  one  who  brought  gifts  of  sympa- 
thy. Moreover,  a  week  had  passed  since 
the  funeral,  and  a  week  was  surely  enough 
to  lay  a  ghost,  especially  a  ghost  of  eighty. 
It  seemed  reasoiuvble  to  hope  that  she  could 
appease  the  lonely  old  man  ;  that,  were  she 
but  once  housed  with  him,  she  could  become 
his  diversion,  his  comforter,  and  his  ruler ; 
that,  in  short,  she  could  make  herself  the 
mistress  of  the  situation  and  the  heir  of  the 
future. 

Thus  had  Josie  argued  herself  up  to  the 
venture  of  writing  to  the  weeping,  half- 
crazed  mourner  a  delicately  worded  letter  of 
apcdogy,  consolation,  respect,  and  atfection. 

The  response  came  while  she  was  still 
holding  light  discourse  with  Sykes  Drum- 
mond. In  great  agitation  she  tore  open  the 
envelope,  and  read  with  extreme  difficulty, 
so  tremulous  was  the  handwriting,  a  mis- 
sive which  had  the  tone  of  being  a  message 
from  the  other  world. 

It  no  more  resembled  the  usual  sauo  and 


genial  epistolary  style  of  the  rector  than  the 
ranting  of  a  tablc-rajjper's  Socrates  resem- 
bles the  philosophizing  of  Xenophon's  sweet 
teacher.  It  was  :i  letter  wliicli  well  deserved 
tobei)ut  in  a  strait-jacket  and  confined  with- 
in walls  of  cotton  padding. 

The  general  character  of  it  may  be  in- 
ferred from  the  fact  that  it  opened  with  this 
raging  sentence,  "  I  sinnmon  you  before  the 
bar  of  God  to  answer  for  your  crime  as  a 
nmrderess." 

Josie  fairly  uttered  a  kittenish  spit  as  she 
crumpled  up  this  piteous  extravagance  and 
thrust  it  into  her  pocket.  So  indignant  was 
she,  that  for  an  instant  she  lost  her  prudence, 
and  exclaimed  aloud, 

"  The  old  fool  has  gone  stark  crazy." 

"  Who  ?"  laughed  Drnnmiond.  "  Mr.  IIol- 
lowbread,  I  bet.     Has  he  been  popping  ?" 

"  It  isn't  Mr.  HoUowbread ;  it  is  an  old 
gentleman  in  Xew  York,"  declared  Josie, 
with  admirable  presence  of  mind,  not  to  say 
absence  of  morals.     "  What  a  goose !" 

"  You  are  not  very  complimentary  to  the 
Xestor  of  the  House — haw^  haw !"  insisted 
Drummond. 

"  The  Xestor  of  the  House  isn't  such  a  silly 
as  you  take  him  to  be,"  smiled  Josie,  remem- 
bering for  perhaps  the  lirst  time  that  day 
that  she  was  engaged  to  Mr.  HoUowbread. 
"  I  don't  believe  he  would  marry  the  Queeu 
of  Sheba." 

"X''or  I,  either,  so  long  as  you  live." 

"What  uonseuse!"  giggled  our  heroine," 
who  was  trying  hard  to  forget  the  rector's 
ravings.  "  You  are  not  tall  enough  to  see 
the  whole  stature  of  Mr.  HoUowbread.  He 
is  simply  a  monument  of  platonic  friendship. 
He  is  as  lofty  as  the  Washington  obelisk." 

"And  as  unfinished  about  the  summit," 
haw-hawed  Drummond,  who  was  jealous  of 
the  Nestor,  both  as  a  legislator  and  as  a 
lover. 

"Why  don't  you  say  something  hateful 
about  Mr.  Beauman,  or  Mr.  Smyler,  or  Mr. 
Bray,  or  General  Hornblowcr  ?"  asked  Josie. 
"I  know  ever  so  many  gentlemen  besides 
Mr.  HoUowbread.  Or  couldn't  you  demolish 
a  few  ladies  of  my  acquaintance  ?" 

"Oh,  willingly;  but  it  isn't  necessary. 
You  demolish  ladies  enough  yourself  to  fill 
a  man's  heart  with  pity." 

"  I  am  not  one  bit  satirical  or  scandalous, 
and  you  know  it.     What  do  you  mean  ?" 

"  I  mean  that  you  are  breaking  Mrs.  John 
Yane's  heart  by  sitting  in  curtained  alcoves 
at  parties  Avith  Senator  Ironman." 

"  Oh,  she  has  no  heart  to  break.  I  dare 
say  it  hurts  her  vanity  and  makes  her  jeal- 
ous, and  that  she  slanders  me  awfully  to  pay 
for  it.  But  it  doesn't  matter.  Every  one 
knows  that  she  is  a  mere  animal,  and  that 
her  opinion  amounts  to  no  more  than  a 
horse's.  I  will  venture  to  say  that  she  nev- 
er complains  of  my  alcove-dialogues  to  her 
husband  or  to  Mrs.  Ironman.    Of  course  you 


144 


PLAYIXG  THE  MISCHIEF. 


know  wliat  I  inteiTiew  tlie  Senator  for.  I 
must  look  out  for  my  claim  in  the  Upper 
House,  as  I  dearly  love  to  call  it,  just  to  tease 
you." 

"I  don't  think  you  need  fear  for  your 
claim.  You  are  the  most  poteut  and  petted 
lady  that  ever  came  to  Washington  to  seek 
her  fortune.  You  eclipse  even  the  old 
stagers — the  women  who  have  grown  gray 
in  imshing  their  bills  and  their  husbands — 
the  claimants  of  twenty  years'  staudiug." 

"  Old,  painted,  ogling,  loud-talking,  man- 
nish creatures !  Have  the  goodness  not  to 
compare  me  with  them." 

"  You  can  lead  up  twice  as  many  votes  as 
Mrs.  Grijier,  and  four  times  as  many  as  Mrs. 
Warden. " 

"  Poor  Mrs.  Warden  !  She  works  so  hard 
and  spends  so  much  and  gets  so  little! 
Belle  really  ought  to  help  her." 

"  Aristides  Cato  Bradford  is  about  the  only 
Congressman  whom  Belle  will  say  a  nice 
word  to." 

To  this  statement  Josie  made  no  response 
further  than  to  manipulate  her  handkerchief 
with  severity. 

Bradford  never  came  to  see  her  nowadays ; 
had  not  called  at  the  Warden  house  since 
her  advent  into  it ;  had  once  or  twice  joined 
Belle  in  the  street,  but  never  herself.  His 
conduct  pained  her  more  than  any  thing 
else ;  more,  e-\'en,  than  her  banishment  from 
the  Murray  family  circle ;  infinitely  more 
than  the  death  of  Aunt  Huldah  and  the 
grief  of  Uncle  John. 

"  You  think,  I  suppose,  that  you  have  com- 
lilimented  mo  jirodigiously,"  she  said,  pres- 
ently, making  a  violent  elibrt  to  continue 
the  conversation  with  gayety.  ''You  have 
represented  me  as  the  Queen  of  the  Lobby. 
If  I  had  been  here  ten  years,  and  got  as 
crazed  about  Congress  as  Mrs.  Warden  and 
some  other  women  are,  I  suppose  I  should 
feel  grateful  to  you.  As  it  is,  I  am  not  one 
jot  flattered  by  what  you  tell  me,  and  rather 
think  I  ought  to  be  very  angry." 

"  Oh  no !  Congressmen  are  men,  after  all ; 
their  scalps  are  worth  taking  —  haw,  haw! 
I  humbly  hope  that  mine  is.  Well,  you  have 
l)een  on  the  war-path  outside  of  the  Capitol 
also.  You  have  had  an  offer  within  a  week, 
and  I  know  who  made  it." 

"I  have  not;  and  you  don't  know  any 
thing  about  it."  * 

"The  great  secretary  in  futitro,  the  im- 
mense, embryonic  statesman,  the  grand, 
gloomy,  and  peculiar,  has  been  at  your  feet." 

"Whom  do  you  mean?"  giggled  Josie, 
meantime  casting  about  for  some  evasion. 

"The  scrivener  of  General  Bangs,  the  no- 
ble, talented,  and  beauteous  Bray  —  haw, 
haw,  haw !" 

"  What  an  absurd  guess !  There  is  not  a 
word  of  truth  in  it,  from  the  bottom  to  the 
top." 

"  You  deny  it  so  promptly  and  flatly  that 


I  know  it  is  true.  Besides,  the  elegant  suf- 
ferer has  himself  revealed  his  venture  and 
his  disaster." 

"  I  don't  believe  he  has  told  any  such  silly 
fib." 

"He  has.  He  elocutionized  it  to  Bean- 
man,  and  Beauman  snickered  it  to  me." 

"  I  think  you  and  Mr.  Beauman  might  bo 
in  better  business  than  talking  gossip  about 
Childe  Harold  Bray." 

"  So  I  think.  Sometimes  we  are  in  better 
business.  But,  all  the  same,  Bray  has  bray- 
ed his  sorrows  out  loud,  just  as  I  tell  you. 

"What  an  awful  fool!"  laughed  Josie, 
neither  denying  nor  admitting  the  fact  (for 
it  was  a  fact)  of  the  young  man's  offer.  "  He 
ought  to  wear  a  dunce-cap  for  telling  such  a 
story." 

"  It  is  no  use  calling  it  a  story.  He  swears 
himself  that  it  is  a  true  story.  Come,  Mrs. 
Murray,  make  an  honest  confession  for  once, 
just  to  see  how  it  seems." 

"  I  never  was  so  surprised  in  my  life  as 
when  he  spoke  to  me,"  conceded  Mrs.  Mur- 
ray, seeing  at  last  that  denial  was  useless. 
"  He  had  not  paid  me  a  spark  of  real  atten- 
tion, so  far  as  I  knew.  Probably  he  thought 
I  had  been  waiting  for  him,  and  that  he  had 
only  to  speak  the  first  word.  What  did  he 
say  to  Mr.  Beauman  ?" 

"I  will  tell  you  if  you  will  tell  me  the  ex- 
act oration  which  he  made  to  you." 

Josie  was  very  curious  to  know  the  par- 
ticulars of  Bray's  avowal,  and  would  have 
immensely  enjoyed  laughing  over  their  ex- 
travagance. But,  as  we  have  heretofore 
stated,  she  had  that  honor,  or  that  caution, 
whichever  it  may  be,  which  causes  women  to 
shrink  from  revealing  one  man's  love-making 
to  another  man. 

So,  after  a  moment  of  meditation,  she  re- 
idied,  firmlj' : 

"  I  won't  tell  you  any  thing  at  all.  There 
is  nothing  to  tell." 

"So  it  was  a  secret  session,  was  it?"'  an- 
swered Drunimond.  "Well,  I  admire  you 
and  praise  you  for  your  discretion.  When 
my  head  falls  at  your  feet,  cover  it  with  the 
same  merciful  mystery.  Let  it  be  sei)ulchred 
and  forgotten." 

"I  will  forget  it,"  smiled  Josie. 

Here  let  ns  close  our  report  of  this  dia- 
logue. It  seemed  worth  narrating,  because 
one  may  draw  from  it  an  idea  of  our  hero- 
ine's situation  after  her  exodus  from  the 
Murray  circle.  She  was  prosperous,  a  bello 
in  society,  the  object  of  matrimonial  desires, 
a  favorite  with  our  patriotic  lawgivers,  and 
hence  likely  to  secure  her  hoped-for  "steal." 

Nevertheless,  as  her  claim  was  not  positive- 
ly a  bird  in  the  hand,  and  as  the  onlj'  man 
whom  she  really  cared  for  was  quite  positive- 
ly a  bird  in  the  bush,  she  kept  up  her  secret 
engagement  Avith  the  sexagenarian  Hollow- 
bread,  and  flirted  much  with  Drummond  aud 
certain  others. 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


14: 


CHAPTER  XLIL 

A  FERVENT  FOE  AND  A  FERVENT  FRIEND. 

But  swininiingly  as  Josio  seemed  to  get 
on,  she  had  made  herself  an  earnest  and  po- 
tent enemy,  Avho  ^vas  capable  of  driving  her 
to  measures  Avhich  she  detested. 

"She  is  a  bad  little  ^voman,"  pronounced 
Colonel  Murray,  in  talking  of  her  to  Brad- 
ford. "  I  don't  mean  to  assert  that  she  in- 
tended to  damage  the  feeble  chances  of  my 
poor  sister-in-law  for  longer  life,  or  to  plunge 
my  brother  into  his  present  condition  of 
wretchedness  and  semi-insanity.  I  don't 
feel  quite  positive  as  to  her  knowing  dis- 
tinctly that  it  is  wicked  to  tell  lies  and  break 
promises  and  cheat  the  Government.  She 
doesn't  seem  to  have  had  any  moral  disci- 
pline at  all,  or  any  ethical  base  to  start  from." 

'•'It  is  such  a  pity!"  said  Bradford,  who 
still  at  times  hankered  after  Josie's  divert- 
ing and  inflaming  society.  "  She  is  amaziug- 
!}•  bright,  able,  and  agreeable.  If  you  could 
believe  a  word  she  says,  or  have  the  least  con- 
fidence as  to  what  she  would  do,  she  would 
be  perfectly  delightful." 

"  You  have  to  treat  her  as  you  would  an 
Injun,"  declared  the  colonel,  a  contemner  of 
the  Quaker  commission.  "  Be  alwa^'s  on 
your  guard,  and  fire  at  the  first  movement. 
Well,  whether  she  means  to  do  wrong  or  not, 
whether  she  knows  what  wrong  is  or  not, 
slie  has  worked  a  great  deal  of  mischief. 
But  I  want  to  stop  her  from  working  more. 
I  must  leave  here  for  a  while,  and  take  my 
poor  brother  ou  a  journey  ;  but  before  I  go, 
I  desire  to  have  a  shot  at  this  little  Comanche 
of  civilized  society.  I  want  to  punish  her, 
and  I  ought  to  punish  her.  It  is  every  hon- 
est man's  duty  to  trounce  peojilo  who  do 
wickedness  and  work  mischief.  Honest  men 
are  the  commissioned  oflQcers  of  society.  If 
they  fail  to  iiunish  evil-doing,  the  criminals 
soon  come  to  believe  that  their  conduct  is 
liroper  enough,  and  the  whole  community 
loses  in  some  measure  its  sense  of  right  and 
wrong.  Besides,  this  barn  swindle  is  a  dis- 
grace to  our  family  name,  and  a  personal  dis- 
grace to  me,  an  old  officer!"  emphasized  the 
colonel,  straightening  himself  superbly. 

"  I  am  sorry  you  take  it  so  much  to  heart," 
Bradford  said.  "  It  will  not  be  easy,  I  fear, 
to  stop  it.  These  jobs  of  special  legislation 
are  a  veteran  and  prosperous  abuse.  A  fat 
job,  with  a  clever  and  pretty  woman  to  push 
it — or,  indeed,  with  only  an  impudent  swin- 
dler to  push  it  —  is  a  hard  thing  to  beat. 
Jobs  are  generally  beaten,  not  by  Congres- 
sional virtue,  but  by  rival  jobs." 

"  I  must  beat  this  one  if  I  can,"  affirmed 
the  colonel,  with  a  stamp  of  the  foot.  "And 
I  want  you  to  help  me.  You  are  a  Congress- 
man ;  you  are  a  man  under  oath  to  see  that 
the  country's  faith  in  its  legislators  is  not 
abused  ;  yon  are  capable  of  doing  duty  with- 
out fear,  as  I  know — without  favor,  as  I  hope. 
10 


I  want  you  to  go  with  mo  before  Bangs's 
committee,  and  aid  me  in  protesting  against 
this  dishonoring  swindle." 

"Oh,  Lord!"  groaned  Bradford,  wishing 
with  all  his  heart  that  ho  had  never  taken 
a  kiss  from  Josic,  "  She  is  an  old,  old  friend 
of  mine,  and  I  hate  abominably  to  fight  her. 
But,  by  Jove,  I  shall  have  to  give  her  up. 
She  is  doing  too  much  harm  to  let  one  keep 
patience  with  her.  Well,  let  us  go  before 
the  committee." 

They  set  off  for  tho  Capitol,  and  on  the 
way  encountered  Josie.  She  was  a  block 
aiul  a  half  distant  when  they  first  saw  her  ; 
but  the  trimness  of  her  figure,  the  grace  and 
taste  of  her  costume,  and  the  pretty  lithe- 
ness  of  her  walk,  were  perfectly  distinguish- 
able ;  and  Bradford's  naughty  heart  gave  a 
jump  of  longing  and  of  dismay  at  the  spec- 
tacle. 

"I  shall  tell  her  my  opinion  of  her,  and 
then  cut  her  forever,"  said  the  colonel,  as 
calmly  and  sternly  as  if  he  were  sitting  in 
general  court-martial. 

"  Gracious ! — I  can't  do  that — I  can't  list- 
en to  it,"  returned  Bradford.  "  I  will  meet 
you  in  the  Eotunda,"  he  added,  hastily,  and 
skulked  shame-facedly  down  a  cross-street 
to  hurry  around  the  block. 

Josie  recognized  him  ;  guessed,  of  course, 
that  he  was  dodging  her,  and  felt  like  sink- 
ing into  the  earth.  She  walked  ou  in  a 
dazed,  tingling  state,  her  cheeks  spotted  with 
a  flush  of  disappointment  and  humiliation, 
and  her  muscles  trembling  so  that  it  seemed 
to  her  as  if  she  had  no  feet.  But  she  was 
one  of  those  women  who  spring  up  from 
downfalls  quickly,  and  who,  losing  one  man, 
instinctively  jump  for  another. 

Before  she  reached  the  colonel  she  had  re- 
covered hope,  and  she  had  formed  a  plan. 
Her  lover  had  avoided  her;  that  was  lam- 
entably clear.  But  it  was  also  clear  that 
her  uncle  had  refused  to  follow  the  lead; 
and  therefore  she  inferred  that  he  meant  to 
recognize  her,  and  perhaps  to  speak  to  her 
kindly.  She  would  greet  him  with  a  smile, 
and  inquire  plaintively  after  poor  Uncle 
John,  and  so  renew  the  broken  chain  of  af- 
fection. 

But  in  Colonel  Murray's  present  state  of 
mind  it  was  of  no  use  to  try  to  gammon  him, 
gammoned  she  never  so  wisely. 

"My  brother  is  very  ill,"  he  replied,  cold- 
ly. "  Mrs.  Murray,  I  have  a  question  to  put 
to  you.  Will  you  give  me  your  positive  and 
solemn  promise  to  droj)  your  claim  ?" 

It  was  too  much.  Josie  had  just  been 
badly  hurt  by  one  man,  and  here  was  anoth- 
er flying  at  her.  Partly  to  see  if  a  show  of 
grief  and  resentment  would  not  help  her,  and 
partly  because  of  that  natural  impulse  which 
leads  most  people  to  recoil  from  an  unex- 
pected attack,  she  started  aside,  drew  down 
her  A-eil,  and  passed  slowly  by  him,  all  in  si- 
lence. 


146 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


No  tloubt  she  hoped  that  he  Tvouhl  follow 
her  aud  apologize  for  his  abruptness,  thus 
giving  her  a  chance  to  recommence  the  in- 
terview on  more  genial  terms.  But  the  col- 
onel's patience  was  even  more  completely 
exhausted  than  hers,  and  he  let  her  know  it 
at  once. 

"Very  well,  madame,''  he  said,  loudly. 
'•'But  this  ends  our  accxuaintauce." 

She  turned  promptly,  but  he  was  making 
oif  with  long  strides  toward  a  horse-car ;  and, 
before  she  could  decide  to  call  to  him,  he  had 
plunged  into  it  and  was  beyond  hearing. 

In  the  Capitol  the  colonel  found  Bradford, 
and  they  repaired  at  once  to  the  den  of  the 
Committee  ou  Spoliations,  where  they  made 
such  an  onset  upon  the  Murray  swindle  as 
confounded  even  the  brazen  Bangs. 

"Am  I  to  understand,"  stared  that  re- 
nowned wire-pviller,  "  that  you  do  not  want 
this  hundred  thousand  dollars  to  fall  into 
j'our  fiimily  ?" 

"I  certainly  do  not,"  replied  the  colonel, 
with  something  like  sparks  coming  out  of 
his  tiiut-gray  eyes.  "  I  told  you  a  while  ago 
that  the  claim  was  a  humbug." 

"I  remember,"  grinned  the  general,  amused 
as  well  as  puzzled.  "  But  fieople  sometimes 
change  their  opinions  under  such  convincing 
circumstauces.  However,  never  mind  about 
that ;  you  are  not  like  most  people.  You 
have  your  army  ways  of  thinking,  no  doubt. 
The  war  and  navy  departments  are  the  last 
refuges  of  chivalry.  When  the  dove  of  hon- 
esty flies  forth  to  seek  a  resting-place  on 
earth,  he  will  take  his  flight  from  one  of  their 
windows.  But  what  we  have  to  consider  in 
this  case  is  not  your  chivalrous  sensitiveness, 
but  the  e\aderice." 

'•The  evidence  shows  that  the  property 
was  destroyed  in  actual  conflict,  and  every 
one  knows  that  iu  such  cases  the  Govern- 
ment is  not  responsible,"  argued  the  colonel. 

"Ah,  indeed!"  nodded  the  general,  who 
had  already  seen  to  it  that  Josic's  bill  should 
reveal  nothing  of  the  sort.  "  Your  law  is 
indisputable." 

"  And  I  believe  I  can  prove  that  this  last 
affidavit  of  old  Drinkwater's  is  a  piece  of 
pure  perjury.  Give  me  time  to  jirove  it; 
let  the  claim  wait  till  then." 

"  Certainl  J' — very  good,"  bowed  and  smiled 
Bangs ;  but  as  soon  as  the  two  men  left  him 
he  sent  for  Hollowbread. 

"This  is  a  bothering  job  of  yours,"  ho 
grumbled,  at  Josie's  advocate.  "  Here  is 
this  old  Don  Quixote  of  a  Colonel  Murray 
fighting  his  niece's  cause  in  complete  armor. 
Your  little  lady  certainly  ought  to  take  care 
of  her  own  relatives.  We  can't  expect  to 
get  on  with  her  work  when  wo  are  ridden 
down  by  the  very  people  who  ought  to  back 
us.  Why  doesn't  she  poison  the  excellent 
old  blockhead  ?" 

"  Of  course  she  can't  poison  him,"  sighed 
Hollowbread;  "and  I  suppose  it  is  equally 


certain  that  she  can't  convert  him.  An  old 
oflQcer  of  the  regular  army  can  no  more  be 
deluded  than  an  old  maid." 

The  general  roared  with  laughter. 

"You  shouldn't  hate  old  maids,  Hollow- 
bread," he  said.  "  They  have  all  been  flirts 
iu  their  younger  days.  But  to  return  to 
our  business;  you  must  head  off  the  colonel 
somehow." 

"  But  what  am  I  to  do  ?"  groaned  the  late- 
ly honest  statesman,  who  already  found  the 
paths  of  corruption  so  devious  aud  perplex- 
ing. 

He  breathed  louder  than  usual,  aud  had  a 
more  than  ordinarily  apoplectic  splendor  iu 
his  face,  and  was  obviously  sad,  wearied,  aud 
discouraged.  It  was  a  dreadful  thing  to 
this  timorous  man  and  would-be  honorable 
legislator  to  have  the  guardianship  of  oue 
of  the  most  thoroughbred  swindles  (though 
by  no  means  one  of  the  greatest)  that  had 
ever  been  pushed  in  Congress.  Aud  to  be 
threatened  with  exposure,  to  be  menaced  by 
the  protests  of  such  an  Aristides  as  Colonel 
Murray  and  the  denunciation  of  that  young 
Demosthenes,  Bradford,  made  the  matter  all 
but  insupportable. 

"Do?  —  why,  dodge  I"  answered  Bangs. 
"  Get  the  thing  ready  to  slip  it  into  another 
committee,  if  the  opposition  grows  too  heavy 
here.  A  juggler  must  have  more  than  one 
thimble  to  keep  his  pea  under.  While  they 
fire  looking  for  you  in  the  Spoliations,  you 
must  be  going  through  in  the  Navy,  or  the 
Ways  and  Means,  or  the  Appropriations.  It 
would  be  the  best  of  all  jokes,"  he  guft'awed, 
"to  slip  your  affair  into  the  Army  Bill,  aud 
carry  it  under  the  old  colonel's  nose." 

"Yes,  I  must  devise  something  of  the  sort," 
sighed  Mr.  Hollowbread,  who  could  not  laugh 
over  the  matter.  "  I  am  obliged  to  you,  gen- 
eral," he  added,  though  he  felt  particularly 
ungrateful,  as  men  often  feel  toward  their 
mentors  iu  wickedness.  "  Well,  good-morn- 
ing." 

Meanwhile  Josie  was  at  home,  unaware 
of  the  perils  which  lowered  over  her  claim, 
but  musing  sadly  concerning  troubles  which 
she  did  know  of.  She  had  been  cut  in  the 
street  by  the  man  she  most  heartily  liked, 
aud  by  the  man  whom  she  most  siucerely 
respected. 

Some  of  her  most  desirable  acquaintances 
had  become  obviously  less  cordial  since  her 
exit  from  the  Murray  house.  Miss  Ledyard 
(daughter  of  the  great  senator),  that  shy, 
blushing,  and  yet  lofty  patrician,  the  only 
girl  in  Washington  who  ruled  alongside  of 
married  ladies,  a  queen  of  society  who  seem- 
ed to  consider  good  people  alone  as  truly 
"good  style" — this  young  noble  had  abso- 
lutely ceased  bowing  to  Josie. 

Moreover,  our  heroine's  boarding -place 
was  not  all  that  a  heroine's  homo  should 
be.  Mrs.  Warden,  it  turned  out,  was  a  little 
wearying  when  one  lived  with  her.     She 


¥ 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


147 


fretted  about  her  own  disappointments, 
showed  a  snappish  jealousy  of  her  lodger's 
popularity,  and  wanted  her,  as  well  as  every 
body  else,  to  worship  Belle.  As  for  that 
young  lady  herself,  she  disapproved  openly 
of  claim -hunting,  and,  what  was  far  more 
l>rovoking,  took  long  walks  with  Edgar 
Bradford.  Belle,  also,  as  Josio  asserted,  had 
a  temper;  and  doubtless  there  was  some 
lamentable  fraction  of  truth  in  the  allega- 
tion :  so  many  women  h.avc  one,  or,  what  is 
worse,  half  a  dozen  a  day!  Josie,  by-thc- 
way,  herself  gifted  with  a  singularly  even 
disposition,  is  responsible  for  the  above  re- 
mark concerning  her  gentle  sex. 

"I  hate  women,"  she  often  said.  "They 
are  as  fretful  as  tired  children.  It  is  partly 
becaviso  they  are  feeble,  and  partly  because 
they  are  fools.  The  only  friend  you  can  get 
on  with  smoothly  is  a  man  past  thirty,  and 
all  the  better  if  he  is  some  other  woman's 
husband.  He  has  found  out  that  his  wife 
is  a  failure,  and  so  ho  doesn't  expect  too 
much  of  us." 

Well,  she  was  reflecting  gloomily  on  her 
situation,  and  perhaps  shedding  a  precious 
tear  or  two  over  its  asperities,  when  her  be- 
trothed arrived  to  tell  her  how  Colonel  Mur- 
ray and  Bradford  had  been  assailing  her  barn. 

Josio  stared  with  horror.  Her  uncle  had 
indeed  taken  a  terrible  revenge.  He  might 
succeed  in  beating  her  out  of  her  claim  ;  he 
might  drive  her  to  a  step  which  she  still  re- 
coiled from.  Her  gaze  of  dismay  was  not 
fixed  upon  vacuity,  but  upon  the  gross  form 
and  inflamed  face  of  her  aCBauced. 

"  It  is  an  ugly  business,"  groaned  Hollow- 
bread,  breathing  noisily,  somewhat  like  a 
pumped-out  horse,  as  he  always  did  wheu 
worried.  "  I  really  begiu  to  fear  that  I  may 
not  be  able  to  carry  the  bill  through  for  you." 

He  actually  seemed  to  be  disgusted  witli 
the  enterprise,  and  to  be  minded  to  wash  his 
hands  of  it.  Josie's  heart  almost  stopped 
beating  as  she  thought,  What  if  he  too  should 
desert  me  ?  And  then,  immediately  on  this 
consciousness  of  his  importance,  there  came 
a  sentiment  of  gratitude  and  of  favor.  He 
had  surely  worked  bravely  for  her,  and  it 
did  seem  that  he  ought  to  have  some  re- 
ward, or  at  least  some  cheering  hope  of  one. 
Besides,  would  it  not  be  well  to  make  quite 
sure  of  this  man  aiul  his  money,  in  view  of 
fche  chance  that  her  bill  might  fail?  An 
J)pen  betrothal  Avould  nail  him,  while  it 
"^would  not  positively  nail  her.  If  woman 
/has  no  political  rights,  she  has  cu  revanche 
C^  many  social  and  sentimental  ones,  including 
the  right  of  breaking  au  engagement. 

"  Bnt  I  shall  always  keep  you  as  a  friend  ?" 
she  asked,  with  an  imploring,  piteous  smile. 
"Myrelatives  have  turned  against  me.  Shall 
you?" 

"Mrs.  Murray  —  never!"  exclaimed  this 
venerable  Antony,  stretching  out  his  hand 
toward  the  hand  of  his  Cleopatra. 


She  returned  his  grasp,  and  gave  him  a 
look — such  a  look! — one  of  those  indescrib- 
able ones  —  a  look  worthy  tlie  heroine  of 
a  melodrama.  It  was  a  prodigious  feat  of 
humbugging,  and  she  knew  it  to  be  so  wliilc 
slie  performed  it.  But  it  was  just  as  elfcct- 
ive  as  if  it  had  come  straight  from  the  heart ; 
indeed,  it  struck  fairer  than  similar  glances 
of  hers  which  had  really  come  from  the 
heart:  I  mean  the  glances  which  had  fallen 
harndess  from  the  armor  of  Bradford. 

"I  am  1)<)nnd  to  you  for  life,  .Josie!"  con- 
tinued IloUowbread,  lifting  her  hand  to  his 
lips.  "  I  wish  to  Heaven  that  all  men  knew 
of  it!" 

Is  it  possible  that  a  man  of  sixty  could 
talk  in  this  style,  or,  talking  thus,  could 
mean  it?  We  must  allow  that  it  would  be 
impossible  with  many,  but  this  particular 
sexagenarian  was  an  exceptional  one,  and 
almost  a  prodigy.  From  the  grayish  mat- 
ter of  his  brain  to  the  dye  of  his  carefully 
curled  hair,  and  from  the  luiLsings  of  his 
battered  bnt  fervent  heart  to  the  polish  of 
his  boots,  ho  was  fearfully  and  wonderfully 
made.  He  was  an  amazing  complication  of 
shams  and  sincerities.  His  costume,  as  we 
already  know,  w\as  an  unwrinkled  deception, 
meant  not  so  much  to  clothe  his  figure  as  to 
disguise  it.  His  coat  was  worthy  of  exhibi- 
tion in  a  sartorial  museum  ;  it  ought  to  have 
been  hung  up  in  the  Patent  Office  by  the 
side  of  the  finest  models  of  machinery  ;  and 
had  it  been  made  the  subject  of  a  report  in 
quarto,  that  volume  alone  would  have  justi- 
fied the  franking  privilege. 

In  politics,  also,  he  was  at  least  as  much 
of  an  unveracity  as  in  the  matter  of  ward- 
robe. He  stood  ready  at  all  times  to  pro- 
pose any  measure  which  he  thought  the 
public  desired.  He  was  capable  of  arguing 
for  contraction  on  Monday  and  for  inflation 
on  Tuesday.  He  was  one  of  those  fierce  pro- 
tectionists, who  are  liable  to  turn  free-traders 
at  a  week's  notice. 

But  inside  of  all  this  variability  and  du- 
plicity there  was  one  flaming  centre  of  con- 
stancy. In  the  business  of  getting  bewitch- 
ed about  a  woman,  he  might  almost  be  said 
to  lead  his  generation.  Amativeness  had 
long  been  his  ruling  i^assion,  and  now,  if  no 
longer  a  passion,  it  Avas  a  monomania.  Like 
.all  other  monomaniacs,  his  possession  was 
both  comic  and  pathetic.  From  the  ridicu- 
lous to  the  sublime,  there  was  but  a  single 
step  in  the  love-making  of  the  Honorable  G. 
W.  HoUowbread. 

"  Yes,  I  wish  that  the  whole  world  knew 
of  my  afl'ection  for  you,"  repeated  this  made- 
up  old  dandy,  this  weather-cock  politician, 
this  infatuated  lover.  "It  is  my  greatest 
honor.  I  feel  that  there  is  nothing  else  in 
my  life  which  so  ennobles  me.  If  I  never 
gain  another  distinction,  I  ought  with  this 
one  to  be  content." 

"  Do  you  7nean  it  ?     Do  you  mean  all  of 


148 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


it?"  wliispered  Josie,  touched  by  tliis  hu- 
mility of  whole-souled  adoration.  "  Would 
you  really  like  people  to  kuow  that  you  are 
so  silly  as  to  care  for  nie  like  that  ?" 

"  Mrs.  Murray !  my  dear,  dear  Josie !"  burst 
out  HolloNvbread.  "  If  you  wish  to  do  me 
cue  immeuse  favor — if  you  wish  to  make  mo 
your  grateful  slave  for  life — accept  me  at 
once  openly.  I  should  go  out  of  this  house 
little  less  than  mad  with  pride  and  hapi)i- 
uess." 

"Ah,  George!  you  are  irresistible,"  sighed 
Josie,  dropping  her  shapely  head  on  his 
wheezing  breast.  "You  may  say  that  we 
are  engaged.     I  will  say  so  myself." 


CHAPTEE  XLIII. 

SYMPATHY,  COURTSHIP,  AND  COUNSEL. 

The  announcement  of  Josie's  engagement 
made  a  stir  in  Washington  society,  and  there 
Avere  plenty  of  comments  upon  it,  and  some 
very  curious  ones. 

Chivalrous  young  Clavers  turned  ashier 
than  the  Spanish  moss  of  his  native  lowlands 
Avheu  he  heard  the  tale,  and  subsequently 
declared  to  a  bosom-friend  that  never  since 
the  hoary  ages  began  their  sorrowful  course 
down  the  fading  track  of  time — never  had 
there  been  such  another  sacrifice  of  a  beau- 
teous, noble  woman  to  an  unholy,  selfish, 
shameless  dotard. 

The  grand,  gloomy,  and  peculiar  Bray 
walked  thrice  around  the  room  in  which  he 
received  the  stunning  information,  halted 
suddenly,  rolled  his  eyes  at  the  ceiling,  and 
exclaimed:  "Infatuation!  'Whom  the  gods 
mean  to  destroy,  they  first  make  mad.'  As 
for  Mm,  I  shall  belong  to  that  House  some 
diiy,  and  I  solemnly  swear  that  I  will  vote 
against  every  measure  he  proposes." 

The  Apollonian  Beauman  saluted  the  news 
of  the  betrothal  with  a  bland  drawl  of  "  Oh 
— ah — indeed !"  but  nevertheless  felt  a  uet- 
tlesome  little  pang  at  his  heart  the  while — 
such  a  pang  as  is  apt  to  sting  a  woman-kill- 
er on  such  occasions,  and  make  him  conscious 
of  his  own  vanity.  "Well,  I  must  bear  it 
the  best  I  may,"  he  added,  with  a  smile.  "  I 
will  not  try  to  hide  the  fact  that  I  shall  lay 
awake  over  it  for  five  minutes  to-night.  But 
poor  old  Hollowbread !  how  will  he  bear  it  ?" 

Probably  the  person  most  tenderly  and 
gratefully  moved  by  the  tidings  Avas  Squire 
Nancy  Appleyard.  She  made  no  public  re- 
mark upon  it,  but  she  turned  such  a  lovely 
rose -color  as  lawyers  seldom  exhibit,  and 
straightAvay  sought  the  rarely  disturbed  se- 
clusion of  her  office,  there  to  have  "  a  good 
cry"  of  joy,  and  to  hope  for  the  return  of  her 
beloved Drummoud,  alas!  evermore  a  volcifje. 

"  Hollowbread  going  to  marry  the  pretty 
widow !"  griimed  Gencr.al  Bang.s.  "  By  Jove ! 
Avhat  Avill  he  do  about  the  claim  now  ?     By 


Jove !  what  a  fool  he  was  to  let  out  his  en- 
gagement before  he  got  that  job  through 
Congress !  I'll  be  hanged  if  I  would  trust 
such  a  dunderhead  as  that  to  manage  a  ward 
caucus.  Either  he  is  inlaying  a  deeper  game 
than  I  can  understand,  or  he  is  the  biggest 
ass  that  ever  blundered  inside  politics." 

"  Hollowbread  now  has  an  opportunity  to 
do  a  very  taking  thing,"  was  the  opinion 
which  rolled  from  the  mellifluous  tube  of 
Horublower.  "  He  is  opulent  enough  to  say, 
I  accept  the  woman,  and  I  resign  the  claim. 
If  he  should  cover  that  money  back  into  the 
Treasury,  it  would  send  him  to  the  Senate. 
I  doubt  Avhether  Hollowbread  has  the  orig- 
inality to  hit  upon  that  course  of  action,  or 
the  force  of  character  to  carry  it  out.  But 
that  is  precisely  and  emxihatically  what  I 
should  do." 

Mrs.  John  Vane,  when  the  engagement  was 
told  her  by  Senator  Ironman,  leaped  from 
her  sofa  in  rowdy  delight,  took  a  polka  up 
and  down  the  room,  slapped  her  informant 
smartly  on  the  shoulder,  and  laughed  out, 
"  Oh,  that  old  man !  Good  enough  for  her ! 
I  am  so  glad !" 

"  Yes ;  but,  by  Jove  !  he  an't  so  A'ery  old," 
answered  the  senator,  repressing  a  spasmodic 
impulse  to  coA^er  with  his  hand  the  bald  spot 
of  his  own  cranium.  "And  he's  pooty  rich, 
too,  Hollowbread  is,  and  he'll  spend  his  mon- 
ey for  her  like  blazes." 

"But  he  won't  spend  it  for  her  here," 
hoped  Mrs.  Vane,  spitefully.  "  That  claim 
of  hers  will  sink  him  like  a  millstone,  and  he 
won't  be  re-elected.  Oh,  she  is  done  for  iu 
Washington." 

Well,  our  friend  Hollowbread  was  hefting 
this  millstone,  and  wondering  how  he  should 
get  his  political  neck  free  of  it.  He  had  not 
thought  of  its  density  and  thickness  Avhen 
Josie  gaA'C  her  consent  to  a  public  engage- 
ment. He  had  thought  of  it  iireviouslj',  and 
failed  to  see  a  hole  through  it,  and  jiut  aside 
the  troublesome  meditation,  as  Avas  his  indo- 
lent, procrastinating  manner. 

But  in  that  blessed  moment  of  full  and 
OA'ert  acceptance  he  could  not,  of  course,  re- 
member any  thing  besides  his  goddess,  and 
the  cornucopia  of  happiness  Avhich  she  was 
showering  upon  his  dizzy  head.  Ere  long, 
howcA'er,  the  claim  arose  before  him  again, 
reminding  him  that  he  would  soon  be  called 
upon  to  espouse  it  at  the  altar,  and  asking 
him  if  he  would  dare  thus  to  acknowledge  it. 
He  decided  that  he  dared  not ;  that  it  would 
probably  drive  him  from  political  life  ;  that 
it  Avould  certainly  dishonor  him  in  his  own 
estimation  ;  and  that  he  could  not  make  such 
sacrifices  for  it. 

Let  mo  repeat  emphatically  that  he  did 
not  consider  himself  a  dishonest  man,  but 
rather  an  eminent  instance  of  unselfish- 
ness and  scrupulousness,  for  a  Congressman. 
There  were  members,  and  personages  of  great 
l^opular  uote,  too,  Avho  bragged  much  of  be- 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


149 


i'jg  tlic  champions  of  tlic  sons  of  toil,  who  in- 
trotluceil  eight-hoiir  hxws  and  all  that  sort 
of  Luuconibe,  but  who  yet  burdonecl  tho 
Treasury  and  increased  the  taxes  of  the  poor 
by  their  lobbyings  and  stealings.  One  such 
brawler,  as  he  knew,  had  taken  twenty  thou- 
sand dollars  in  bribes  before  the  holidays, 
and  would  bag  at  least  a  hundred  thousand 
by  tho  end  of  the  session. 

As  for  himself,  tho  only  stain  upon  him,  at 
least  during  his  last  two  terms,  was  the  sunit 
of  this  Murray  barn.  That  had  vexed  and 
shamed  him  considerably,  even  while  he  boro 
it  for  love  alone.  But  now  it  would  be  im- 
puted unto  him  that  ho  had  pushed  the  nasty 
claim  with  tho  intent  of  marrying  it.  He 
thoiight  that  he  could  not  stand  such  an  ac- 
cusation, and  he  mustered  up  courage  to  hiut 
as  much  to  his  darling  Josie. 

"■\Ve  ought  to  have  kept  the  engagement 
a  secret,"  was  her  stunning  answer.  "  I  told 
you  so  all  along,"  she  added,  with  a  look  of 
reproach.     "  But  you  would  have  your  way." 

Mr.  Hollowbread  had  the  air  of  a  dog 
whose  master  stands  over  him  with  au  up- 
lifted cowhide. 

"Why  didn't  yon  think  of  this  before?" 
she  continued.  "  How  did  /  know  ?  How 
could  /  know  all  about  Congressional  rules, 
and  decorums,  and  prunes  and  prisms  ?  It 
would  bo  very  hard  in  you  to  make  me  suffer 
for  your  mistakes." 

"I  would  cheerfully  settle  a  similar  amount 
upon  you,"   said  Mr.  Hollowbread,  implor- 

'■'  But  it  would  still  be  only  two  hundred 
thousand  between  us,"  she  sighed,  partly 
touched  by  his  self-abnegation  and  generos- 
ity, and  partly  vexed  by  what  she  considered 
his  lack  of  foresight.  "  I  must  say,  my  dear 
good  man,  that  I  prefer  three  hundred  thou- 
sand. Besides,  I  don't  want  to  plunder  you. 
I  prefer  my  own  money." 

Her  own  money !  "What  a  phrase  to  apply 
to  the  proceeds  of  a  theft !  But  even  if  Hol- 
lowbread could  have  brought  himself  to  de- 
spise her  for  any  cause  whatever,  he  had  to 
recollect  that  there  were  plenty  of  claimants 
far  more  greedj'  and  dishonest  than  she  was, 
and  that  the  more  they  asked,  the  more  ci- 
vility they  got  from  Congressmen. 

"  Could  I  not  persuade  you  somehow  to 
give  this  up,  my  dear  child?"  he  begged, 
meanwhile  trying  gently  to  take  her  hand. 

"  When  you  urge  mo  to  give  it  up,  you 
urge  me  to  give  you  up,"  returned  Josie,  with 
a  spasmodic  setting  of  her  lips. 

"That  would  kill  me,"  he  said.  "Well, 
since  your  heart  is  set  upon  it,  you  must  have 
it — and  you  shall !" 

"  Ob,  George !  I  knew  I  could  trust  you," 
murmured  Josie,  laying  her  hand  gently  on 
his  shoulder  and  filling  him  with  comfort. 

But  she  did  not  trust  him,  at  least  not  en- 
tirely. From  this  day  she  began  to  see  more 
than  ever  of  Sykes  Drummond,  and  to  talk  to 


him  confidentiall3-  about  her  claim.  Drum- 
mond had,  of  course,  his  motives  for  calling 
punctually  in  answer  to  her  little  notes,  and 
for  at  least  pretending  to  give  her  his  best 
advice.  He  wanted  to  mak(!  trouble  for  the 
man  who  had  cut  him  out  of  his  fat  job,  and 
had  also  ciirried  off  the  belle  ;  and  very  like- 
ly he  was  at  times  disposed  to  do  an  ill  turn 
by  Josie  in  order  to  punish  her  for  neglect- 
ing her  own  member.  But  his  actual  busi- 
ness intent  was  to  get  the  claim  out  of  Hol- 
lowbread's  hands,  put  it  under  the  caro  of 
his  own  special  lobbyist,  Mr.  Jacob  Pike,  and 
so  win  for  himself  a  portion  of  v.iiat  money 
and  honor  there  were  in  it.  Afterward,  if 
fortune  continued  to  bless,  he  might  espouse 
the  wealthy  j'oung  widow,  who  would  doubt- 
less prefer  him  to  a  dyed  and  8trapi)ed  sex- 
agenarian. It  had  scarcely  occurred  to  tho 
insolent  creature  that,  if  Mrs.  Murray  should 
get  her  hundred  thousand  dollars,  she  might 
pay  him  with  a  mitten. 

The  visits  from  Drummond  soon  became 
so  frequent,  and  so  very  confidential,  that 
Mrs.  Warden  took  note  of  them. 

"  Mr.  Hollowbread  is  exceedingly  good- 
natured,"  she  roguishly  remarked  one  day 
to  the  betrothed. 

"  It  is  his  greatest  charm,"  replied  Josie, 
perhaps  making  a  cut  at  Mrs.  Warden's  un- 
certain temper.  "  I  perfectly  adore  good- 
natured  i>eople." 

"  Of  course  you  do.  We  all  do  when  we 
don't  laugh  at  them." 

"  I  won't  have  you  laughing  at  ray  dear 
man.  It  is  the  one  thing  that  would  kill  him 
— to  be  laughed  at." 

"We  shall  have  to  kill  him,  then." 

"The  idea  of  taking  a  man's  life  because 
he  is  good-natured !"  said  Josie,  who  guessed 
what  Mrs.  Warden  was  driving  at,  and  pre- 
ferred to  evade  the  topic. 

"It  will  be  all  Mr.  Drummond's  fault," 
continued  that  clever  lady  —  very  clever, 
though  wanting  in  good  sense. 

"  Do  you  think  I  see  too  much  of  Mr. 
Drummond  ?"  asked  Josie,  giving  up  a  xise- 
Icss  tactic  of  dodging,  and  assuming  the  rule 
of  an  ill (](')!  lie. 

"Well,  no — not  that  precisely,"  answered 
Mrs.  Warden,  shruggiug  her  shoulders,  a  fre- 
quent gesture  with  this  nervous  creature. 
"  You  don't  see  a  bit  too  much  of  him,  if  that 
were  all.  But  there  is  the  betrothed.  And 
there  is  Mrs.  Grundy." 

Mrs.  Warden  was  sweet  and  low,  like  the 
wind  of  the  western  sea.  Her  contralto 
voice,  which  could  on  occasion  blow  like  a, 
storm,  was  attuned  to  tho  mellowest  reedy 
breathing  of  a  clarionet.  But  she  was  at 
heart  very  much  in  earnest.  She  was,  one 
might  almost  say,  disgusted  with  her  lodger. 
She  had  hoped  that,  now  Josie  had  got  a 
man  all  to  herself,  she  would  stop  flirting, 
and  give  other  young  women  a  chance. 

True,  Edgar  Bradford  was,  of  late,  quite  at- 


150 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


tentive  to  Belle ;  aud  if  he  could  be  brought 
to  x)ropose,  no  one  else  was  wanted.  But 
that  result  was  not  yet  certain,  and  meantime 
it  might  be  ^Yell  to  keep  Drummoud  on  hand, 
in  the  way  of  a  sober  second  choice.  It  was 
disagreeable,  therefore,  to  have  Josie  coquet- 
ting with  Sykes  in  this  absorbing  fashion. 

"I  just  allude  to  it  out  of  friendship,  and 
out  of  regard  to  your  peculiar  xiositiou,"  con- 
tinued Mrs.  Warden.  "  You  know,  of  course, 
that  I  am  not  so  absurd  as  to  object  to  sweet- 
hearting  in  itself." 

"And  of  course  I  am  obliged  to  you,"  an- 
swered Josie,  not  wishing  to  quarrel  with 
her  hostess,  and  be  driven  to  a  boarding- 
house.  "  But  the  positive,  solemn  truth  is 
that  I  am  not  sweethearting  one  bit  with 
Mr.  Drummoud.  He  comes  to  see  me  en- 
tirely on  business." 

"  I  thought  Mr.  Hollowbread  was  attend- 
ing to  that." 

"  One  can't  have  too  many  helpers.  You 
know  it  as  well  as  I  do,  Mrs.  Warden." 

"  Oh,  certainly,"  assented  the  elder  lady, 
conscious  that  her  own  sociable  manners  and 
customs  were  alluded  to,  and  deciding  that 
she  must  for  the  jiresent  suspend  her  mo- 
nitions. 

****** 

Let  US  now  see  what  sort  of  business  calls 
Sykes  Drummoud  made  upon  Josie  Murray. 
To  save  time,  we  will  commence  our  report 
at  the  moment  when  the  gentleman  rises  to 
take  his  long-deferred  departure. 

"  I  believe  an  Italian  lady  allows  a  visitor 
to  kiss  her  hand  at  parting,"  he  remarked, 
after  having  essayed  that  form  of  salute  and 
failed  to  accomplish  it. 

"  I  never  heard  any  thing  to  the  contrary," 
said  Josie.  "It  is  an  interesting  piece  of  infor- 
mation. I  believe  a  Chinese  gentleman  wears 
his  hair  down  his  back  in  a  long  cue." 

"But  that  doesn't  help  my  case  at  all," 
answered  Drummoud,  trying  to  hide  his 
disappoiutment  and  discomjiosure  under  a 
horse-laugh. 

"And  neither  does  the  other  story,  for  I 
am  not  an  Italian  lady." 

Now  it  must  not  be  supposed  that  Josie 
had  not  allowed  Drummond  to  kiss  her  hand 
since  the  engagement.  She  had  accorded 
him  that  favor  once ;  but  the  rough  creature 
bad  haw -hawed  triumphantly  over  it,  and 
blurted  out  something  about  "  what  would 
the  old  man  say  ?"  and,  in  short,  he  had  dis- 
gusted her  by  his  noisy,  unmannerly,  con- 
ceited gratulation.  So,  on  the  present  oc- 
casion, he  got  no  fingers  to  mumble  at. 

"I  wish  you  were  an  Italian  lady!"  plead- 
ed Drummond. 

"Perhaps  I  will  make  believe  that  I  am 
one,  some  day.  Only  you  must  help  more 
and  demand  less." 

"  I  demand  very  little  compared  with  our 
friend  Hollowbread,  who  is  the  gi'eatest  ex- 
tortioner upon  earth,  in  my  opinion." 


"  But  Mr.  Hollowbread  gives  all  that  he 
has.  He  is  a  model  of  devotion.  He  is  the 
one  briglit  spot  of  unselfish  loyalty  in  the 
whole  world." 

"  Only  grant  me  a  chance,  and  I  will  out- 
shine him.  But,  really,  as  to  this  matter  of 
the  claim,  I  can  do  nothing  unless  I  have  the 
whole  business  in  my  hands,  and  am  allowed 
to  manage  it  in  my  way — the  only  eflective 
way." 

"  People  do  talk  so  about  those  lobbyists! 
Mr.  Pullwool,  and  Mr.  Jack  Hunt,  and  your 
friend,  Mr.  Pike,  have  the  most  dreadful 
reputations  that  I  know  of!" 

"  Professionals  always  have  their  own 
code  of  honor,  and  that  code  is  rarely  ad- 
mired by  other  people.  But  you  can  not  do 
any  thing  in  any  line  of  action  without  pro- 
fessionals. You  have  to  put  up  with  their 
fashions  of  work,  if  you  want  their  results. 
The  world  talks  against  the  lobbyists,  does 
it  ?  Why,  Mrs.  Murray,  I  tell  you,  for  the 
hundredth  time,  that  Congress  itself  is  a 
nest  of  lobbyists,"  declared  Drummond,  ex- 
aggerating the  facts  of  wickedness,  as  wick- 
ed men  are  wont  to  do.  "  I  tell  you  that 
the  position  of  senator  is  well  known  to  be 
worth  one  hundred  thousand  dollars  a  j  ear. 
I  tell  you  that  there  are  leading  members  of 
the  House,  heads  of  important  committees, 
who  make  quite  as  much.  Half  our  real 
work  is  special  legislation,  or,  in  other  words, 
private  thieving.  You  think,  perhaps,  that 
because  these  men  gather  in  such  harvests, 
they  ought  to  let  j'ou  glean  Avillingly.  But 
great  part  of  their  income,  their  stealings, 
their  plunder,  comes  from  dividing  with 
claimants.  It  is  a  game  of  tickle  me  and 
I'll  tickle  you.  You  can  not  get  your  claim 
through  without  feeing  somebody.  If  Mr. 
Hollowbread  thinks  he  can  do  it,  he  is  sim- 
ply a  dunce.  You  had  better  droj)  him,  be- 
fore he  brings  your  bill  to  a  vote  and  gets 
it  defeated.  Put  it  into  Pike's  hands,  and 
pay  him  his  percentage.  It  will  cost  you 
less  in  the  end.  He  must  charge  you  some- 
thing, of  course  ;  but,  for  my  sake,  he  won't 
charge  yoTi  much." 

"How  much?" 

"  I  think  I  can  get  him  to  do  it  for  twenty 
thousand  dollars." 

"Twentv  thousand  dollars! — all  to  him- 
self!" 

"  No,"  laughed  Drummond ;  "  the  greatest 
part  to  others— to  the  trusted  and  chosen 
ones  of  the  people — to  the  men  whom  Co- 
lumbia delighteth  to  honor." 

"  But  that  will  leave  me  only  eighty  thou- 
sand— only  fifty-six  hundred  a  year." 

"I  Avill  drop  in  at  the  Lobbitt  House  as  I 
go  along,  and  see  if  ho  will  undertake  it  for 
less.     I  will  insist  upon  ten  thousand." 

"  Do,"  begged  Josie.  Then,  after  a  mo- 
ment of  pondering,  she  added,  "  But  Mr.  Hol- 
lowbread must  iu)t  know." 

"  The  idea  of  telling  him — haw,  haw !    Do 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


151 


you  tbiuk  I  am  his  intimate?  Not  under 
existing  circunistauces — haw,  haw  !" 

"  But  don't  go  to  Mr.  Pike  to-day,"  urged 
Josic,  still  meditating.  "  It  is  too  sudden. 
Come  and  see  mo  to-morrow  about  it,  and  I 
■will  decide." 

''Very  well,"  assented  Drummond,  smiling 
with  manly  superiority  ovur  this  womanly 
vacillation.  *'Aud  now  ?"  he  asked,  taking 
her  hand  again,  and  slowly  bcudiug  his  head 
over  it. 

She  surveyed  him  thoughtfully  Avhilc  he 
pressed  his  lips  to  her  fingers,  and  then  said, 
with  a  smile  : 

"Are  the  Italians  as  long  about  it  as  that  ? 
There,  that  is  enough  ;  the  rest  some  other 
time;  good-bye." 


CHAPTER  XLIV. 
A  CONGRESSIOXAI,  AGENT. 

Josie's  perfidies  and  duijlicities  are  so 
numerous  that  one  begins  to  wonder  wheth- 
er she  could  help  them  ;  a  medical  observer 
might  easily  conclude  that  they  were  con- 
nected with  her  circulation,  or  in  some  other 
■way  idiosyncratic  and  symptomatic  ;  ■while 
to  the  ordinary  spectator  they  gradually  be- 
come characteristic,  humorous,  and  almost 
comic. 

Scarcely  had  Drummond  departed  from 
her,  with  the  understanding  that  ho  was  to 
make  terms  for  her  with  Mr.  Pike,  ere  she 
dispatched  a  messenger  to  the  Lobbitt  House 
with  a  note  for  that  eminent  medium  of  pri- 
vate legislation,  requestiug  him  to  call  upon 
her  at  once  "on  strictly  couiidential  busi- 
ness." Mr.  Pike  received  the  note  as  he  was 
taking  his  soup,  and  in  ten  minutes  more  he 
was  on  his  way  to  Mrs.  Wai'deu's  house,  hav- 
ing, nevertheless,  done  full  justice  to  what 
he  called  his  "  feed." 

This  fact  gives  one  an  idea  of  the  rapid 
deglutition  and  other  business-like  faculties 
of  the  man.  It  also  shows  that  he  recog- 
nized at  once  the  name  of  Josephine  Mur- 
ray, and  held  it  in  no  small  respect,  accord- 
ing to  his  method  of  respecting.  For  it  must 
be  understood  that,  far  from  being  an  unem- 
ployed soul  sadly  iu  need  of  a  job,  he  was  a 
hardly  worked,  and  indeed  overworked  one, 
who  had  a  great  many  irons  iu  the  fire,  and 
whose  time  was  worth  money.  True,  he  nev- 
er seemed  to  do  any  thing  but  saunter  about 
the  streets  and  into  bar-rooms  and  through 
the  Capitol.  But  ever  and  anon,  amidst  this 
apparent  loafing,  you  might  see  that  he  had 
some  politician  by  the  buttou-hole,  and  might 
guess,  if  you  were  wise,  that  he  was  laying 
pipe,  or  rolling  logs,  or  pulling  wires.  What 
must  have  been  Josie's  repute  in  the  lobby, 
when  at  her  very  first  beck  this  gormandizer 
of  financial  garbage  flew  to  her  as  eagerly 
as  ever  a  turkey-buzzard  flapped  toward  a 
carcass ! 


She  was  indeed  well  known  in  the  so-called 
Third  House.  Often  and  ofti;n  had  Jacob 
Pike  talked  over  her  case  with  Jack  Hunt, 
and  Ananias  Pullwool,  and  Darius  Doi'man, 
and  other  equally  abominable  ang(ds  of  this 
nether  region.  They  all  thought  her  claim 
a  pretty  one,  and  a  dead  sure  thing  to  win 
("  Considcrin'  the  gal's  good  looks,  you  un- 
derstand ?"  emphasized  Jack  Hunt),  if  she 
would  only  employ  an  agent,  and  the  right 
sort  of  an  agent.  Equally  positive  were 
they  that  it  Avould  be  beaten,  and  resolved 
also  to  stir  up  an  oi>position  ■which  would 
beat  it,  if  she  trusted  for  success  to  Con- 
gressmen alone.  If  George  W.  IloUowbread, 
or  any  other  member,  could  put  through  a 
job  all  by  himself,  what  was  to  become  of 
"  gentlemen  brokers  ?" 

"  It  ■would  be  a  bad  precedent,"  asserted 
Pike. 

"  It  would  be  next  door  to  unconstitution- 
al," grinned  Dorman. 

"  It  would  be  the  sort  of  thing  for  a  Pres- 
ident to  veto,"  chuckled  Jack  Hunt. 

"  It  would  be  a  case  for  the  Supreme 
Court,"  greasily  smiled  Ananias  Pullwool. 

But  with  the  right  man  to  care  for  it,  they 
admitted,  the  claim  was  a  blazing  good  claim, 
and  might  safely  be  backed  to  win,  and  ought 
to  win.  Concerning  the  lovely  claimant  her- 
self, her  supposed  nature  and  imputed  doings 
— these  brazen  scoundrels  discoursed  with  a 
freedom  which  would  have  been  distressing 
even  to  so  independent  and  audacious  a  flirt 
as  Josie.  But  just  here  their  sabbatical  con- 
versation becomes  unendurable,  and  we  must 
not  venture  to  report  its  graceless  innuendoes 
and  assertions. 

Our  heroine  had  been  curious  to  look  upon 
Mr.  Pike,  and  disposed  to  receive  him  with 
some  reverence  and  even  fear.  ^Yhen  he 
api)eared  before  her,  stitfly  and  awkwardly 
bowing  his  way  athwart  the  little  Warden 
parlor,  she  stared  at  him  with  surprise  and 
disappointment. 

It  did  not  seem  possible  to  her  that  a  crea- 
ture of  such  commonplace  appearance  and 
expression  could  influence  dignitaries,  and 
carry  or  defeat  enactments.  She  forgot  for 
the  moment  what  ordinary  persons  many  of 
our  Congressmen  are,  and  how  eager  they 
are  to  be  moved  iu  the  direction  of  money- 
making;  she  forgot  that  she  herself,  a  lady, 
and  well-educated  and  very  clever,  was  put- 
ting herself  into  the  liands  of  this  same  un- 
j)olished  intriguer  for  the  sake  of  pelf. 

Mr.  Jacob  Pike  —  or  Jake  Pike,  as  most 
people  called  him — was  a  slender,  bony  man 
of  forty-five,  with  deep,  furtive  gray  eyes,  a 
small,  beetling  forehead,  a  shortish  nose,  a 
wide,  straight  mouth,  a  square  chin,  broad 
cheek-bones,  a  dusky,  mottled  complexion, 
and  stiif  black  hair,  thickly  strewed  with 
gray.  He  was  not  coarsely  vulgar  in  figure, 
costume,  or  bearing,  but  he  was  universally 
plebeian,  commonplace,  "  ornary."      Iu  his 


15-2 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


expression  there  was  some  slyness,  but  also 
much  nervous  energy.  It  showed  no  sense 
of  guilt  or  shame.  Probably  he  did  not  look 
upon  himself  as  a  scoundrel.  What  uu- 
threatened  criminal  ever  does  ? 

"  Is  this  Mr.  Pike  ?"  asked  Josie,  not  quite 
certain  that  the  right  man  had  come,  and 
naturally  anxious  not  to  talk  to  the  wrong 
man. 

"  Yes,  ma'am,"  he  said,  stiffly  and  shyly, 
for  he  was  somewhat  afraid  of  ladies,  or, 
rather,  afraid  of  exhibiting  his  own  lack  of 
familiarity  with  the  delicacies  of  etiquette. 
"  I  got  a  letter  from  you." 

"Ah,  yes !"  she  smiled.  "  Have  the  kind- 
ness to  sit  down,  Mr.  Pike.  I  believe  I  men- 
tioned that  it  was  on  private  business." 

"  Strictly  private,  ma'am,"  answered  the 
lobbyist,  with  an  air  of  taking  an  oath. 

His  voice  was  unemotional,  monotoned, 
wooden  ;  a  perfectly  suitaljle  voice  to  his 
wooden  face  and  demeanor.  His  pronun- 
ciation Was  uncultivated,  bat  not  strictly 
boorish  ;  it  seemed  rather  to  be  marked  by 
some  broad  provincialism  as  vague  as  the 
illimitable  West;  and,  like  every  other  of 
his  characteristics,  it  was  thoroughly  com- 
monplace and  uninteresting.  Josie's  fear  of 
him  was  already  gone;  she  had  taken  thus 
promptly  his  limited  measure  of  intellectual 
force,  and  she  believed  that  she  could  twist 
him  around  her  fingers. 

"You  are  a — Congressional  agent,  I  un- 
derstand," she  continued.  "  I  wanted  to  see 
you  concerning  a  claim  which  I  have  before 
Congress.  Do  you  know  any  thing  about 
it?" 

"Well,  I  have  took  a  cussory  view  of  it,"  re- 
plied Mr.  Pike,  whose  grammar,  though  gen- 
erally human,  sometimes  dared  a  flight  as 
wild  and  free  as  that  of  the  American  eagle. 

"Will  you  please  to  tell  me  what  it 
amounts  to  ?"  asked  Josie. 

"Well,  barn  and  horse,"  he  replied,  not 
understanding  her  query,  and  thinking  that 
his  knowledge  of  the  matter  was  doubted. 
"  Paid  once,  in  1820,  two  thousand  dollars. 
New  account  presented  on  account  of  insuf- 
ficient payment,  for  a  hundred  thousand." 

"I  mean,  what  do  you  think  of  the 
chances?"  interrupted  Josie,  not  quite 
pleased  at  hearing  her  imx>udeuce  put  so 
frankly. 

"Well,  it's  a  good,  merchantable  claim," 
admitted  Mr.  Pike.  "  But  what  its  chances 
are  depends  on  who  runs  it." 

"  Well,  I  have  sent  for  you  to  sec  if  you 
can  run  it." 

"  Well,  I  think  I  can." 

Josie  noticed  this  repetition  of  the  word 
"  well,"  and  said  to  herself  that  she  would 
never  open  another  sentence  with  it,  so  as 
not  to  bo  like  Mr.  Pike. 

"  I  wish  it  to  be  understood  distinctly  that 
the  fact  of  an  arrangement  between  us  is  to 
bo  kept  secret,"  she  added,  fearing  the  wrath 


of  Drummond  and  possibly  the  jealousy  of 
Hollowbread. 

"  Egsackly,"  he  promised,  with  remark- 
able emphasis,  as  if  he  mispronounced  the 
word  on  purpose,  by  way  of  greater  solem- 
nity. It  is  an  odd  fact,  by-the-way,  that 
Josie  believed  him,  although  she  constantly 
broke  her  own  pledges  and  promises. 

"I  think  I  may  want  you  to  help  me,"  she 
said.     "  That  is,  if  we  can  agree  upon  terms." 

"  Well,  I  thought  you  would  come  to  me 
sooner  or  later,"  smiled  Mr.  Pike,  supposing 
that  she  had  found  success  with  her  present 
backers  impossible,  and  that  he  was  sure  of 
the  job.  "In  the  end,  people  always  learn 
that  the  regolar  way  is  the  easiest  aud  cer- 
tainest  way." 

"  But  what  are  your  terms?" 

"Well,  in  such  a  case  as  this  —  a  good, 
merchantable  case — fifty  per  cent." 

"  That  is  very  little,"  stared  Josie,  wonder- 
ing if  he  really  meant  fifty  cents,  or  what 
small  sum  he  did  mean. 

Although  by  this  time  respectably,  or, 
rathei',  disreputably,  familiar  with  the  trick- 
eries of  the  claim  industry,  she  still  retain- 
ed much  lady-like  ignorance  concerning  the 
mysteries  and  phrases  of  ordinary  business. 

"Well,  most  people  consider  half  about 
right,"  smirked  Mr.  Pike,  not  quite  at  his 
ease  just  then,  as  thinking  her  ironical. 

"  Half !"  exclaimed  Josie,  horrified  aud 
alarmed.  "  Oh,  not  half!"  she  demurred, 
timidly ;  then  more  boldly,  "I  couldn't  think 
of  giving  you  half." 

"  That  is  the  regolation  figger,  Mrs.  Mur- 
ray. Every  body  in  my  line  does  business 
on  those  terms." 

"  I  needn't  paj'  it,  I  know.  I  have  pow- 
erful friends,  who  tell  me  that  my  claim  is 
sure,  and  that  I  really  don't  need  any  fur- 
ther assistance." 

"  Congressmen,  I  suppose,"  said  IMr.  Pike, 
with  a  slight  sneer.  "  Fellows  that  are 
pecking  round  after  something  besides  their 
salary.     What  we  call  roosters." 

"  Yes,  Congressmen,"  declared  Josie,  lofti- 
ly, somewhat  hufled  by  this  belittling  of  her 
retainers. 

"  Well,  you'd  better  not  believe  'em,"  con- 
tinued Mr.  Pike,  with  excitement,  like  a  man 
in  authority  who  hears  of  insubordination 
among  his  subjects.  "The  smartest  thing 
you  can  do,  Mrs.  Murray,  is  not  to  believe 
'em.  If  I  was  your  oldest  friend,  if  I  was 
your  own  brother,  I'd  give  you  that  same 
advice,  nothing  more  and  nothing  less." 

"  I  don't  know  why  they  should  deceive 
me,  or  how  they  could  deceive  themselves," 
returned  Josie,  almost  indignantly. 

It  did  not  please  her  at  all  tlnvt  Mr.  Jake 
Pike  should  speak  of  her,  even  in  the  way 
of  supposition,  as  his  sister.  That  specimen 
of  nature's  gentlenuin  meanwhile  was  not  in 
the  least  suspicious  that  he  had  given  any 
cause  of  offense. 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


153 


"  Well,  tliey  do  deceive  yon,"  insisted  the 
lobbyist,  as  fervent  as  any  man  conld  be  in 
the  cause  of  truth  and  in  the  duty  of  warn- 
iu<;f  innocence.  "  They  know  better  than  to 
talk  such  nonsense.  One  Congressman,  or 
six  Congressmen,  or  twenty  Congressmen,  is 
nothing  against  us  Congressional  brokers. 
You  can  put  your  twenty  men,  say,  to  jinll- 
iug  for  your  bill.  Very  good.  It  looks,  on 
a  cussory  view,  like  a  chance.  But  then  -wo 
can  put  our  fifty  men,  say,  or  our  hundred 
men,  say,  to  pulling  against  it.  "Well,  where's 
your  chance  now  ?" 

"Do  yon  mean  to  say  that  you  will  op- 
pose me  if  I  don't  emploj*  you  V 

"  Got  to." 

"  I  think  that  is  sheer  plunder,  Mr.  Pike," 
declared  Josie,  -with  what  she  felt  to  be  vir- 
tuojis  indignation. 

"  It's  all  plunder,  ma'am.  But  there  an't 
plunder  enough  for  every  body.  If  we  let 
other  people  plunder  without  our  help,  and, 
so  to  speak,  independently  and  irregularly, 
perhaps  there's  nothing  left  for  us  and  onr 
prodigies  (proteges?).  You  see,  that  would 
ruin  business.  A  man  might  as  well  cut  his 
throat.  But  how  much  did  you  think  of  al- 
lowing, Mrs.  Murray  ?" 

'•'Why,  I  thought  of  proposing — "hesitated 
Josie.  "Xo,  I  don't  want  to  propose  any 
thing,"  she  added,  afraid  of  mentioning  any 
sum,  lest  he  should  agree  to  it,  and  it  should 
afterward  prove  too  liberal.  "  You  must 
tell  me  what  your  very  lowest  terms  are." 

"  I'd  like  to  hear  a  proposition  from  your 
side — just  to  get  at  your  notion — ^just  to  find 
a  basis." 

'•■  I  would  rather  not  furnish  a  basis,  Mr. 
Pike.  You  know  all  about  this  business. 
You  must  speak  first." 

"I  don't  know, but  I  might  squeeze  along 
for  thirty-three  per  cent. ;  that  is,  you  un- 
derstand, one-third." 

'•'  Oh !  but  even  that  is  too  much.  Just 
consider ;  it  is  my  own  claim.  It  is  not  your 
money  ;  it  is  mine." 

"It  won't  be  yours  if  you  don't  get  it." 

"  And  it  won't  any  of  it  be  yours  if  I  em- 
jjloy  somebody  else." 

Mr.  Pike  flinched  in  his  secret  heart,  but 
ho  kept  up  a  bold  countenance. 

"Expenses  are  awful  —  scandalous,"  he 
said.  "  Let  me  tell  you  something  about  it, 
Mrs.  Murray.  Only,  remember  that  this  is 
confidential.  I  wouldn't  say  what  I'm  go- 
ing to  say,  if  we  wa'u't  in  the  same  boat.  I 
shall  have  to  pay  a  lot  full  of  members,  and 
they  are  extortionate  as  the — the  dickens. 
They  ask  higher  and  higher  every  year.  It 
costs  tremendous  to  harness  in  enough  of  'em 
to  pull  through  a  bill  of  this  size,  or  any 
respectable  bill.  Why,  our  great  national 
highway  had  to  spend  half  a  million  before 
it  got  a  charter  ;  and  what  it  paid  out  before 
it  was  built  there's  no  figuring  nor  calcula- 
tion.    Members  knew  there  was  money  in  it, 


and  they  would  have  it.  I  tell  yon,  Mr8. 
Murray,  they  are  a  crowd  of  extortioners," 
perorated  Mr.  Pike,  with  the  sub-excitement 
of  an  honest  man  who  suffers  by  evil-doing, 
but  sees  no  refuge  from  it  except  in  patience. 

"But  you  must  take  less  than  one-third," 
pleaded  Jusie,  indifferent  to  these  moans  of 
virtuous  anguish. 

"  My  time  and  my  knowledge  of  the  biz 
are  worth  that,"  insisted  the  broker.  "  Be- 
sides, it  an't  an  easy  case  —  a  horse  and  a 
barn.  There's  no  end  to  the  horses  in  Con- 
gress—  Floridy  horses  and  Kansas  horses 
(freedom-shrieking  horses,  I  call  them),  and 
Oregon  horses  and  Southern  horses — road- 
sters and  trotters  and  plowing  creeturs  and 
thorough-breds — all  sorts  anddenoniinationa 
of  horses.  All  ages,  too — some  last  war,  and 
some  last  but  one,  and  some  war  before  that 
— and  yours  is  one  of  the  oldest.  Well,  I 
wish  it  was  any  thing  but  a  horse  and  a  barn. 
Couldn't  you  make  it  a  yoke  of  oxen,  now, 
or  a  drove  of  sheep !"  inquired  Mr.  Pike,  very 
gravely  and  seriously,  although  his  sugges- 
tion sounded  to  the  inexperienced  ear  like 
sarcasm. 

"It  is  not  a  horse  and  a  bam!"  snapped 
Josie,  vexed  at  hearing  her  claim  thus  cheap- 
ened. "  There  are  ever  so  many  horses  in  it. 
You  said  a  while  ago  that  it  was  a  very  good 
case ;  and  it  is  a  much  better  case  than  you 
know  of.  A  number  of  horses  and  an  incom- 
plete payment  on  the  barn,  and  a  family-car- 
riage, and  some  cows,  and  lots  of  other 
things!" 

'■'  Oh  ! — that  so  ?"  asked  Mr.  Pike,  surprised 
and  struck  with  sudden  respect,  though  he 
conld  scarcely  believe  her.  If  she  stated 
facts,  then  the  claim  had  been  furbished  up 
wonderfully  since  he  last  looked  into  it,  and 
was  in  much  better  hands  tiian  he  had  sup- 
posed. "  Fresh  evidence  !"  he  immediately 
added,  with  an  air  of  knowiuguess  which 
would  have  been  wicked  if  it  had  not  been 
so  w  ooden  and  commonplace.  "  Well,  I  was 
talking  of  the  old  case — the  one  that  waa 
settled.  If  you've  got  np  any  thing  fresh,  it 
might  work  easier." 

"Of  course  it  will  work.  Several  Con- 
gressmen tell  me  so." 

"  I  dare  say,"  nodded  Mr.  Pike,  obviously 
not  much  impressed.  "Of  course  they  are 
tollable  judges  of  a  claim.  I  was  a  Congress- 
man myself  once ;  that's  the  way  I  started 
in  this  line.  But  I  wasn't  so  good  a  judge 
of  a  claim  then  as  I  am  now." 

"  You  a  Congressman  ?"  stared  Josie,  as- 
tonished out  of  her  civilitv.  "From  the 
Soutli  ?" 

"  No ;  not  a  carpet-bagger,"  smiled  Pike,  a 
little  embarrassed  by  the  depreciating  query, 
but  not  seriously  annoyed.  "  From  Kansas. 
Yes,  I've  served  my  term,  as  the  State-iirison 
birds  say.  They  threw  me  ofi'  the  track  ou 
my  second  trip,"  he  added,  his  countenance 
darkening  suddenly  as  he  remembered  his 


154 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


wrongs.  "  Then  I  was  backed  for  a  foreign 
ministry,  but  somebody  got  me  ruled  out. 
Ob,  I  have  had  my  ups  and  downs,  Mrs.  Mur- 
ray, and  my  enemies.  A  man  can't  climb 
the  ladder,  to  any  great  altitude,  without 
exciting  envy.  Yes,  I've  had  my  enemies. 
Well,  I've  mounted  some  of  'em,  and  I'll 
mount  more." 

Josie  surveyed  him  with  contemptuous 
curiosity  and  wonder.  There,  in  this  lowly 
lobbyist,  was  tbe  wreck  of  a  ^iromising  dem- 
agogue, a  man  of  blighted  hopes  and  disap- 
pointed ambition,  a  man  who  had  had  a  rise, 
a  grandeur,  and  a  decadence !  And  he  com- 
plained of  fiite ;  he  thought  himself  the  vic- 
tim of  injustice ;  he  grieved  over  the  fact  of 
unappreciated  merit ;  he  feelingly  bemoaned 
his  lost  authority  and  dignity !  Even  to  our 
sadly  wise  heroine,  who  knew  so  much  of 
the  corruiition  and  degradation  of  Congress, 
it  seemed  amazing  that  such  a  thoroughly 
narrow-minded,  plebeian,  and  scampish  in- 
triguer could  consider  himself  fit  to  repre- 
sent the  American  people,  or  any  inconsider- 
able outlying  portion  of  it. 

But  she  bestowed  no  serious  thought  upon 
this  phenomenon,  so  worthj'  of  our  weighti- 
est and  sorrowfullest  reflections.  She  did 
not  stoj)  to  say,  "  This  is  the  fruit  that  uni- 
versal suffrage  bears  when  the  industrious 
and  virtuous  cease  to  care  for  politics."  She 
hardly  considered  the  public  career  of  Mr. 
Pike  for  an  instant,  or  by  more  than  a  sin- 
gle careless  glance  of  her  quick  intellect — a 
glance  of  amazement  and  of  disdain.  She  was 
young,  a  thoroughly  womanish  woman,  and 
had  an  axe  to  grind.  This  last  circumstance 
led  her  to  utter  a  few  words  of  sympathy, 
very  vague  and  by  no  means  heartfelt,  but 
sufficient  to  touch  the  heart  of  our  fallen 
functionary  and  draw  out  his  confidence. 

"  Yes,  it  is  hard,  Mrs.'Murray,"  he  replied. 
"  It  comes  pretty  rough  on  a  man  who  has 
worked  his  way  up  from  the  bottom,  this  be- 
ing hauled  down  by  the  heels  does.  I  am  a 
self-made  man.  I  began  life  as  a  teamster. 
Many's  the  horse  I've  rubbed  down  and  tack- 
led up.  I  rose  by  my  own  exertions,  without 
so  much  as  the  start  of  a  common-school  ed- 
dication,  to  be  a  member  of  Congress.  I  think 
I  ought  to  have  been  left  there  and  kept 
there,  if  only  to  encourage  self-made  men. 
And  to  be  histed  after  all!  It  riles  me  to 
think  of  it.  It's  enough  to  rile  any  body  to 
think  of  it." 

Josie  made  believe  that  she  was  moved, 
but  of  course  she  could  not  care  one  straw 
for  Jake  Pike,  a  man  obviously  unfit  for 
love-making. 

In  reality,  her  sole  reflection  was  that, 
siuce  ho  had  been  "  histed  "  once,  he  must  bo 
a  iH'etty  light  weight,  and  might  be  "histed" 
again,  if  she  should  give  her  mind  to  it. 

"  If  I  were  you,  I  should  never  forget  nor 
forgive,"  she  said,  with  a  most  pitying  face, 
and  a  heart  as  hard  as  a  pebble.     "  But,  to 


return  to  our  business  :  I  will  give  you  one- 
tenth." 

It  was  now  the  lobbyist's  turn  to  stare 
with  surprise  and  dismay. 

"  One-tenth !"  he  exclaimed.  "  It  couldn't 
be  done,  ma'am,  for  twice  that.  Just  think 
of  the  outlays.  Why,  besides  members, 
there's  other  brokers  that  I  shall  have  to 
quiet  off  with  something,  and  the  newspa- 
per chaps,  and  more  outsiders  than  I  can  tell 
of.  I'll  be — bothered  if  I  don't  believe  the 
Congressional  chaplain  will  come  in  for  his 
share  some  of  these  days,  or  threaten  to  pray 
a  fellow's  claims  out  of  winder.  Oh  yes, 
members,  newspaper-men,  moneyed  men,  no 
end  of  men  !  Dave  Shorthand  will  want  his 
fee,  and  old  Allchin,  the  House  banker,  will 
want  his,  and  so  on." 

"Mr.  Shorthand  can  have  five  dollars,"  said 
Josie,  well  remembering  that  historian  of  the 
Appleyard  fight,  and  how  easily  he  had  been 
silenced.  "As  for  Mr.  Allchin,  you  may  tell 
him  from  mo  that  I  will  invest  through  his 
bank." 

"  You  know  all  these  fellows,"  smiled  Pike, 
lifting  his  heavy  and  meaningless  eyebrows. 
"  You  know  the  ropes." 

"  I  do,"  said  Josie,  meaning  to  impress  him 
and  daunt  him.  "  I  know  all  about  si^ecial 
legislation." 

Mr.  Pike  smUed  again.  The  subject  was  an- 
agreeable  one  to  this  ignorant,  small-headed, 
conscienceless,  scheming  creature.  It  was 
his  specialty,  and  it  had  become  his  hobby, 
and  ho  liked  to  talk  about  it.  Although  he 
called  lobbying  j)lunder,  and  looked  upon 
those  features  of  it  which  diminished  his 
profits  as  extortion,  still  ho  held  it  in  re- 
spect and  almost  in  veneration. 

From  his  point  of  view,  it  was  a  kind  of 
public  life ;  it  was  more  completely  "  inside 
politics"  than  even  electioneering  or  legisla- 
tion ;  it  was,  as  he  believed,  the  very  germ 
and  main-spring  of  statesmanship.  A  lead- 
ing lobbyist  knew  exactly  how  the  world  is 
governed,  and  for  what  purx^oso  it  is  gov- 
erned. 

We  have  now  laid  our  disrespectful,  but 
surely  not  sacrilegious,  hands  upon  the  key 
of  ]\Ii'.  Pike's  contemptible  character.  Ho 
was  a  born  intriguer,  a  man  who  instinctive- 
ly loved  devious  and  plotting  ways,  a  man 
given  to  trickery,  and  worshipful  of  it.  This 
is  why  he  had  originally  crawled  and  wrig- 
gled into  politics;  this  is  why,  when  laid  on 
the  i)olitical  shelf,  he  had  dropped  into  lob- 
bying. 

Although  many  people  supposed  that  his 
ruling  passion  was  covetousness,  the  belief 
was  an  error.  He  seemed  slaveringly  greedy 
for  money ;  but  that  was  because  it  helped 
to  success  in  chicanery,  and  was  the  signa- 
ture and  crown  of  success ;  because,  when 
he  had  picked  a  fellow -creature's  pockets, 
ho  could  triumph  over  him,  and  could  hire 
hiiu  to  i)ick  other  pockets.     His  real,  or  at 


PLAYING  THE  mSCHIEF. 


155 


least  Lis  main,  purpose  in  life  was  to  outgen- 
eral people,  to  get  the  better  of  them,  to  "eu- 
chre "  tlicni. 

It  might  bo  supposed  that  it  ^\as  avarice 
■which  had  brought  him  so  hurriedly  to  Jo- 
sie  at  her  iirst  signal.  But,  while  a  desire 
for  pelf  had  influenced  him  somewhat,  his 
chief  motives  had  been  an  honest  love  of 
jobbery  and  a  noble  desire  to  be  the  "  boss" 
of  the  lobby.  Ho  wanted  to  keep  this  fa- 
mous claimant  from  falling  into  the  hands 
of  Pulhvool,  Dorman,  and  Jack  Hunt,  and  to 
"  ruu  "  her  himself.  He  would  be  a  greater 
mau  in  their  estimation  and  in  his  own  if  he 
could  obtain  the  gnardianshii)  of  the  Murray 
case.  Ho  was  willing  to  do  the  job  cheap, 
willing  to  sacrifice  something  on  it,  if  he 
might  therebj'  secure  it. 

He  had  already  figured  his  profits  down 
to  the  lowest  percentage  which  he  thought 
bo  could  accept  without  injuring  his  repu- 
tation and  diminishing  his  self-respect.  He 
had  decided,  in  fact,  to  accept  Josie's  ofter, 
humiliating  as  it  was  to  a  mau  of  his  jiosi- 
tiou  and  aspirations. 

Meanwhile,  feeling  resignedly  sure  of  the 
case  at  such  a  moderate  figure,  he  found  it 
pleasant  to  dally  a  moment  over  the  charms 
of  his  specialty,  and  to  express  his  crude,  diill 
ideas  concerning  its  marvels  aud  mysteries. 

"  It's  a  curious  business,  this  special  legis- 
lation, isn't  it  ?"  he  remarked,  meditatively. 
'•  It's  as  full  of  holes,  aud  under-ground  pas- 
sages, aud  places  to  catch  your  feet  in,  as  a 
jiararie-dog  village.  I've  seen  more  than 
one  old  political  wheel-horse  go  all  a-wal- 
low  into  it,  and  never  come  out  again  on 
the  right  side  of  an  election.  On  a  cusso- 
ry  view,  and  without  considering  the  cam- 
paigning expenses  of  a  public  man,  one 
can't  help  wondering  how  members  dare 
travel  such  a  road.  Some  of  them  do  trj^ 
to  ride  clear  of  it  for  a  while.  And  some 
bolt  right  there,  the  first  smell  they  get  of 
it.    It's  really  curious." 

"As  long  as  they  can  do  it.  they  can  be 
made  to  do  it,"  said  Josie,  who  had  thor- 
oughly studied  the  question  of  temptation. 

'•'That's  so,"  nodded  Mr.  Pike,  with  great 
emphasis  and  approval,  evidently  much 
struck  with  her  intelligence  and  her  knowl- 
edge of  his  low  world.  "  That's  the  whole 
secret.  You  never  can  stop  jobbery  in  our 
Congress  until  you  stop  special  legislation 
altogether.  Well,  Mrs.  Murray,  I  have  such 
a  respect  for  you  that  I  will  do  for  you  what 
I  wouldn't  do  for  any  other  person  I  know  of. 
I'll  take  your  oifer — ten  thousand  dollars." 

Josie  immediately  repented  of  having 
promised  so  much,  and  said  to  herself  that 
he  was  undoubtedly  cheating  her,  and  that 
perhaps  she  would  not  pay  him  at  all  in  the 
end. 

"  But  no  advances,  Mr.  Pike,"  she  replied. 
"  You  must  take  your  own  risk — though,  by- 
the-way,  there  isn't  any  risk." 


"All  right,  ma'am.  No  vote,  no  pay.  I 
waut  nothing  more  than  a  written  agree- 
ment and  something  in  the  way  of  long  pa- 
per." 

"  No !     You  must  trust  to  my  honor." 

"  But  the  check  will  be  deposited,  you  un- 
derstand, with  some  imjiartial  third  party.  I 
am  only  to  have  it  when  the  bill  is  passed." 

"You  must  trust  to  my  honor,"  insisted 
Josie.     "  I  trust  to  yours." 

"Then  I  bolt,"  said  Pike,  rising,  with  a 
look  of  anger,  for  ho  had  an  unhappy  tem- 
jier,  a  sad  drawback  often  to  his  success  in 
fraudfulness.  "  And  if  I  do  bolt,  I  shall  work 
against  you." 

"  If  you  do,  I  will  work  against  ijou"  de- 
clared Josie,  with  a  sublime  inspiration  of 
impudence.  "  I  will  fight  every  bill  of  yours 
that  I  can  hear  of" 

The  lobbyist  grinned,  but  it  was  with  a 
l^erplexed  air.  He  knew  what  handsome  y 
and  clever  women  could  do  in  Washington  ;  • 
and  this  one  was  very  beautiful,  and,  as  he 
judged,  uncommonly  intelligent.  He  fear- 
ed that  she  might  indeed  be  a  formidable 
foe;  aud  it  was  not  his  interest  to  raise  up 
any  enemy  unnecessarily. 

"  Well,  if  you  have  conscientious  scruples 
against  signing  long  paper,  I  give  in,"  he 
smiled,  covering  his  retreat  with  a  heavy 
joke.  "I  s'pose  I  must  take  your  word  for 
the  payment." 

"  Certainly  you  must.  The  idea  of  treat- 
ing a  lady  otherwise  !"  returned  Josie,  pur- 
suing him  closely,  and  making  mince-meat 
of  him.  "And  now  I  will  tell  you  how  I 
waut  you  to  manage  this  business." 

Mr.  Pike  inclined  himself  to  listen  in  re- 
spectful silence.  This  pretty  aud  adroit 
young  woman  had,  after  a  sharp  struggle, 
got  the  upper  hand  of  him,  or,  as  he  after- 
ward expressed  it,  had  got  him  in  harness. 

The  truth  is  that,  outside  of  the  trick  of 
making  gross  oilers  of  money  to  needy  or 
greedy  souls  of  a  coarse  texture,  he  was  a 
man  of  exceedingly  limited  intellectual  re- 
sources, as  well  as  an  uneducated  boor. 

"I  want  you  to  be  very,  very  discreet," 
she  continued.  "  Don't  tell  Mr.  Hollow- 
bread,  nor  Mr.  Drummond,  nor  any  body, 
that  I  have  engaged  you.  Don't  go  to  the 
committees,  not  even  to  ask  which  one  has 
got  my  papers.  When  you  want  to  know 
where  they  are,  I  will  inform  you.  They 
are  now  in  the  Spoliations ;  bat  they  may 
go  to  the  War  or  the  Judiciary.  When  they 
do  change,  I  will  let  you  know.  My  Con- 
gressmen will  push  the  bill  through  the 
committees,  and  make  all  the  speeches  nec- 
essarj'.  What  I  want  of  you  is  to  get  up 
the  votes." 

"  Egsackly,  ma'am,"  bowed  Mr.  Pike,  com- 
pletely subdued,  and  auxions  to  make  this 
great  woman  his  friend.  "Just  my  idea. 
You  shall  have  the  votes,  Mrs.  Murray." 

From  pure  instinct,  or  by  mere  inveterate 


156 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


habit  of  flirtation,  she  shed  one  of  her  finest 
smiles  over  this  vulgar  miuiou.  But  he  had 
uo  notion  of  coquetry,  and  he  merely  re- 
sponded by  a  -wink,  tlieieupon  taking  his 
departure. 

"  Hech !"  exclaimed  Josie,  with  a  little 
splutter  of  disgust.  "  I  think  even  Mr. 
Drummond  might  have  picked  out  some- 
body not  quite  so  low.  However,  perhaps 
the  lower  the  better,  considering  the  people 
to  be  dealt  with." 


CHAPTER  XLV. 


TRAINING  AN  ADMIRER. 


/ 


Mr.  Pike  soon  informed  Drummond  of  his 
interview  with  Mrs.  Murray,  and  of  the  con- 
vention which  he  had  entered  into  with  her. 

"She  wanted  it  kept  shady,"  he  added, 
"  and  I,  of  course,  told  her  she  might  rely 
on  me.  You  have  to  be  roundabout  with 
women  to  get  along  with  'em  and  manage 
'em,"  he  explained,  putting  on  an  air  of  hav- 
ing beeu  too  much  for  his  fair  client,  though 
jiainfully  conscious  that  she  had  driven  a 
very  hard  bargain  with  him.  "  But  you 
and  I,  Sykes,  have  wagoned  it  too  much  to- 
gether for  me  to  do  any  thing  underhanded 
by  you.  When  a  man  is  a  man's  partner,  he 
ought  to  lead  so  as  to  let  his  partner  know 
what  he's  got  in  his  hand." 

"  Yes,  there  is  such  a  thing  as  honor," 
guffawed  Drummond,  brutally  relishing  his 
own  irony,  and  even  gazing  at  Mr.  Pike 
with  undisguised  contempt.  "  And,  besides, 
it  pays  in  the  long  run  to  play  fair  with  Con- 
gressmen, doesn't  it  ?  And,  besides,  you  will 
want  my  help  in  this  chore." 

"  Undoubtedly,"  admitted  Pike,  with  a  cer- 
emonious pronuuciation  and  a  glum  counte- 
nance, showing  that  he  was  not  pleased  with 
this  satire.  "  You  seem  to  be  rather  irasci- 
ble about  something  to-day.  I  should  like 
to  know  if  I  haven't  done  the  right  and  cor- 
rect and  honest  thing  ?" 

"  Confound  that  little  shuffler !"  broke  out 
Drunnnond,  thus  revealing  the  real  cause  of 
his  ill-humor.  "  So  she  wanted  to  count  me 
out?  By  George!  I  never  saw  the  beat  of 
her  for  trickery.  She  is  prodigious.  I  nev- 
er saw  her  equal." 

"  Well,  nor  I  neither,"  agreed  Jake  Pike, 
not  without  admiration  for  the  trickster,  so 
fair-minded  was  he.  "  I  call  myself  a  mid- 
dling c.ipable  business  man.  You  know, 
Sykes,  tliere  an't  more  than  a  thousand  or 
two  of  my  friends  can  euchre  me  in  a  bar- 
gain. But  she  run  me  down  from  fifty  per 
cent,  to  ten  per  cent,  before  I  knew  where  I 
was  sliding  to." 

It  was  a  painful,  degrading  confession, 
and  he  had  hated  to  come  to  it.  It  seemed 
to  him  tliat  ho  had  shown  small  dickering 
ability,  and  had  beeu  cheated  in  a  manner 


which  made  liira  ridiculous.  Had  a  man 
thus  sheared  the  golden  fleece  of  his  profits 
it  would  have  annoj-ed  him,  but  that  a  wom- 
an should  do  it  gave  his  vanity  a  verj'^  tooth- 
ache of  humiliation.  Now,  however,  that 
Drummond  acknowledged  Mrs.  Murray  to 
be  prodigious  and  hard  to  beat,  he  could 
find  courage  to  confess  how  she  had  docked 
his  commissions. 

"  Ten  per  cent. !"  laughed  Sykes,  uproari- 
ously. "  Well,  you  were  lucky  in  getting 
that,"  he  added,  promptly,  not  wishing  the 
matter  otherwise.  "  How  did  she  manage 
to  shave  yon,  old  man  ?    Make  eyes  at  you  ?" 

"  Eyes !  She  made  mouths  at  me,  rather 
than  eyes.  Argued  me  all  about  the  room. 
Threatened  to  work  against  me." 

Drummond  burst  into  another  roar  of 
laughter ;  it  always  pleased  him  to  see  any 
one  else  beaten. 

"  We  shall  have  to  knock  under,"  he  said. 
"We  shall  have  to  give  her  her  own  way." 

"Well,  yes.  We  shall  have  to  let  her 
deal,"  conceded  Pike.  "  If  I  was  never  eu- 
chred before,  I  am  now.  But  where  are 
these  papers  ?"  he  asked,  not  quite  trusting 
to  Josie's  statement  concerning  them. 

"In  the  SjwJiations.  Under  the  wing  of 
the  greatest  of  jobbers." 

"  Oh,  Mm .'"  said  Pike,  with  a  look  of  alarm. 
"  Why,  he'll  want  twenty  per  cent,  himself." 

"At  the  last  minute  it  will  be  popped  into 
some  other  committee.  I  will  tell  you  which 
and  when." 

"All  right,  Sj'kes,"  yawned  Mr.  Pike,  gap- 
ing and  stretching  at  his  ease,  as  if  all  this 
were  the  simplest  and  safest  business  possi- 
ble. "  Covering  up  tracks.  Bully  for  you ! 
Wake  me  early!  But  I  thoiTght  old  Hol- 
lowbread  held  the  cards  V 

"  He  thinks  he  does,  and  I  do.  There, 
that's  enough.  I  have  something  else  to 
attend  to.  Go  a:;d  train  your  watch-dogs 
of  the  Treasury — haw,  haw  !" 

Tlie  next  day  Drummond  was  to  call  on 
Josie,  and  he  did  not  fail  to  keep  his  ap- 
pointment. He  walked  rapidly,  as  deter- 
mined people  are  apt  to  do  when  angry,  and 
ho  fully  intended  to  rush  in  upon  the  i)er- 
fidious  one  boldly,  and  to  reprove  her  open- 
ly. But  when  she  met  him  witl^ono  of  her 
sweetest  faces,  rustling  and  swaying  dainti- 
ly in  one  of  her  most  becoming  dresses,  ho 
gave  her  a  glance  of  admiration,  and  was  as 
civil  as  he  could  be. 

"  I  am  so  glad  you  came !"  she  observed. 
"You  need  not  speak  to  that  Mr.  Pike  about 
mj'^  claim.     I  would  rather  you  shouldn't." 

"What  a  pity!  He  would  have  been  so 
xiseful  to  yon  !"  answered  Drummond,  unable 
to  help  grinning  as  he  said  it. 

Josie  guessed  at  once  that  ho  had  heard 
of  Pike's  visit,  and  she  changed  her  tactics 
with  bewildering  rapidity. 

"  Because  I  have  spoken  to  him  myself," 
she    added,  laughing    and    making    mock 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


157 


courtesies.  "  Oh,  Mr.  Dnimmond  !  oh,  my 
poor  member!  If  you  want  any  bargaining 
done,  do  let  mo  manage  it  for  you.  You 
thought  Mr.  Pike  -would  want  twenty  thou- 
sand dollars,  and  he  has  agreed  to  take  ten 
thousand !" 

"No  !"'  exclaimed  Sykes,  in  feigned  aston- 
ishment. "  It  is  the  cheapest  thing  of  the 
kind  I  ever  heard  of." 

'•  I  thought  I  would  try  what  I  could  do 
witli  him.  You  see,  I  have  been  frank  with 
yon." 

"Perfectly.  I  take  it  as  a  compliment. 
Well,  I  am  glad  you  have  made  such  a  bar- 
gain." 

"  Don't  say  ircU.  Mr.  Jake  Pike  says  ivcll, 
or,  rather,  wal.  I  suppose  ho  thinks  that 
all's  wal  that  ends  wal.  He  repeats  and 
drawls  the  word  abominably.  It  is  enough 
to  break  a  nation  of  the  habit.  Ho  is  a 
commonplace,  plebeian  creature,  and  he  is 
very  ignorant  and  very  stupid.  I  don't  see 
how  you  camo  to  clioose  such  an  agent.  I 
don't  see  how  ho  can  accomplish  any  thing." 

"Work  does  it ;  pulling  does  it;  impu- 
dence does  it.  This  man  works  and  pulls 
all  day,  and  his  impudence  would  armor  a 
ship  of  war.  He  believes  every  body  on 
earth  can  be  bought,  and  consequently  he 
buys  a  great  many.  He  is  one  of  the  most 
successful  members  of  the  nether  house." 

"  It  speaks  poorly  for  the  taste  of  the  up- 
per houses." 

"I  don't  know  that  any  body  ever  claim- 
ed any  taste  for  them.  However,  putting 
all  this  trilling  aside,  yon  have  done  a  clev- 
er thing.  Jake  and  I  will  draw  famously 
together  in  your  harness." 

"  He  shall  hire  the  votes,  and  you  shall 
make  the  oration,  and  Mr.  Hollowbread  shall 
pull  the  committees." 

"An  excellent  plan,  leaving  Hollowbread 
out — haw,  haw!  But  I  suppose  a  lady  must 
let  her  betrothed  help  her,  or  make  believe 
help  her." 

"Oh,  I  will  tell  him  what  committees  to 
pull,  and  you  shall  tell  me.  All  the  wires 
shall  be  secretly  in  your  hands.  Won't  that 
satisfy  you?     It  must." 

"  I  will  be  satisfied  with  any  thing  that 
you  decide  upon,  barring  your  marriage  with 
Mr.  Hollowbread." 

"And  why  not  with  that?"  asked  Josie, 
roguishly,  after  a  brief  hesitation,  which  did 
her  conscience  some  little  credit. 

Then  there  was  a  scene  of  cooing  and  woo- 
ing, which  Drummond  carried  as  far  as  she 
would  permit,  and  farther  than  Mr.  Hollow- 
bread would  have  permitted. 

The  young  Congressman  had  fully  deter- 
mined to  win  her  for  a  wife,  if  ho  could  do 
it.  The  claim,  being  at  last  in  skillful  hands, 
seemed  to  him  secure ;  and  what  with  her 
beauty,  social  position,  and  cleverness,  she 
was  indeed  a  prize.  So  he  courted  her  in 
cold  blood — no,  not  precisely  thus,  for  the 


current  in  his  veins  was  of  an  ardent  nature ; 
but,  at  all  events,  he  courted  her  intelligent- 
ly and  with  a  set  purpose. 

Now,  Josie  was  one  of  those,  we  will  sup- 
pose, rare  women  who  would  rather  be  court- 
ed by  any  sort  of  man  than  bj'  no  man. 
Bradford  had  deserted  her,  most  of  her  oth- 
er beaus  had  cooled  since  the  promulgation 
of  her  engagement,  and  thus  the  constant 
Drummond  had  enhanced  iu  value  through 
lack  of  competition. 

Once,  as  we  know,  she  liad  disliked  him, 
and  even  now  she  did  not  fancy  him  over- 
much. But  ho  would  do  iu  a  pinch;  and, 
moreover,  his  thirty  years  were  more  en- 
ticing than  Mr.  HoUowbread's  sixty;  and 
finally,  she  needed  his  Congressional — alas! 
for  the  degraded  word! — yes,  his  Congres- 
sional services.  So  she  endured  soft  speech- 
es from  this  surely  unlovely  rough,  and  even 
allowed  him  to  kiss  her  patrician,  her  be- 
trothed hand. 

He  would  have  got  on  better  with  her 
could  she  have  trusted  his  discretion.  But 
his  emotional  fibre  was  so  coarse,  and  so  lit- 
tle susceptible  of  sympathetic  bruises,  that 
he  often  made  dreadful  blunders  among  the 
delicacies  of  intimacy,  just  as  a  buU  inevi- 
tably commits  damaging  mistakes  iu  a  china- 
shop. 

We  have  already  related  how  he  offended 
her  by  his  bovine  ejaculation,  "What  would 
the  old  man  say  ?"  And  she  did  not  feel  at 
all  sure  that  he  would  not  some  daj'  utter  a 
bellow  in  Mr.  HoUowbread's  ear  about  the 
cordiality  with  which  he  was  favored  by  Mr. 
HoUowbread's  betrothed. 

Then  there  would  be  a  quarrel  among  her 
legislators,  and  her  claim  on  her  couutrj-'s 
strong-box  might  suffer  thereby.  Moreover, 
what  if  Bradford  should  hear  of  these  fond- 
lings, and  should  utterly  despise  her !  There 
was  a  thought  which  made  her  cringe  with 
honest  pain,  so  nearly  could  she  come  to  lov- 
ing purely  and  truly. 

"All  this  is  as  a  friend,"  she  said,  to  the 
finger -kissing  Drummond  once  —  at  least 
once.  "  But  other  peoi)le  might  misunder- 
stand it.  It  is  all  strictly  confidential,  as 
the  phrase  is.  You  must  be  very  discreet, 
sir!" 

"  You  must  take  me  to  be  no  gentleman," 
he  answered,  with  his  characteristic  self-as- 
sertion and  want  of  tact. 

"  Your  faults  run  that  way,  Jlr.  Drum- 
mond," she  retaliated,  speaking  very  calmly, 
however,  and  looking  him  softly  in  the  eyes. 

It  was  a  terrible  rebuke,  and  yet  it  sound- 
ed like  the  pleading  of  an  admirer  who  wish- 
es to  amend  in  order  to  admire  more  entire- 
ly. For  a  moment  the  bull  in  a  china-shop 
had  a  feeling  as  if  an  axe  had  been  driven 
in  between  his  horns. 

"  Is  it  possible  I''  he  murmured,  for  it  seems 
that  he  had  been  very  ignorant  of  himself, 
as  probably  each  one  of  us  is.     "  Perhaps  I 


158 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


am  a  little  rough.  I  beg  your  pardon,  Mrs. 
Murray,  for  all  my  doings  and  sayiugs  in  the 
way  of  being  obnoxious.  I  will  try  to  mend 
my  manners." 

-  They  are  yonr  greatest  defect,"  she  vrcnt 
on,  surveying  him  ^Yith  unflinching  good- 
nature, like  a  patient  surgeon  watching  an 
unwilling  patient.  "  You  put  down  people, 
and  then  you  exult  over  them.  It  makes 
them  want  to  tight  you,  or  to  get  away  from 
you.  If  you  would  only  be  as  gentle  as  you 
are  strong,  if  you  would  only  say  soft  things 
to  people  instead  of  hard  ones,  you  would 
double  your  power  of  iufluenciug  women- 
yes,  and  men,  too.  And  when  you  win  a  fa- 
vor, you  should  not  blow  a  trumpet  over  it 
as  if  it  were  a  triumph.  Now,  I  tell  you  all 
this  iu  kindness.  I  like  you  well  enough  to 
want  you  to  succeed.  I  want  you  to  be  a 
pojiular  man  and  a  great  one." 

"Thanks!"  bowed  Drummond,  for  once  in 
his  life  agreeably  humble.  "  I  assure  you 
that  I  am  sincerely  obliged  to  you,  both  for 
the  whipping  and  the  motive.  And  now  I 
should  like  to  state  something  which  may 
explain  and  excuse,  or  at  least  palliate,  this 
antagonistic  tone  which  you  find  in  me.  Let 
me  tell  you  a  story.  Once  upon  a  time  a 
soft-hearted  old  gentleman  found  a  little  boy 
crying  on  a  door-step.  'Youngster,'  said 
this  old  gentleman,  'what  is  the  matter?' 
'  Oh!'  blubbered  this  little  boy, 'my  mammy 
died,  an'  my  papa  married  agin ;  an'  then  my 
papa  died,  an'  my  mammy  married  agin ;  an' 
now  'pears  as  though  I  wasn't  any  body's 
son.'  Well,  that  bereaved  urchin,  that  prov- 
erb of  misfortune,  was  myself.  I  have  had 
a  combative  life.  It  was  a  series  of  buflfet- 
ings  at  the  start,  and  it  has  been  a  struggle 
ever  since.  What  I  have  bad  I  have  fought 
for.  You  can  understand,  perhaps,  how  I 
grew  up  somewhat  pugnacious,  and  also 
somewhat  disposed  to  celebrate  my  victo- 
ries." 

"I  don't  blame  you,"  said  Josie.  "But 
you  are  victorious  now,  and  you  must  be 
magnanimous.     It  will  be  the  wisest  way." 

Thenceforward  they  got  on  better  together. 
By  an  immense  effort  of  intelligence,  thor- 
oughly appreciable  only  to  those  who  have 
sought  earnestly  to  discover  and  amend  their 
faults  of  demeanor,  Drummond  divined  that 
his  triumphing  laugh  was  offensive  to  hu- 
man ears,  and  labored  diligently  to  break 
himself  of  it,  as  well  as  of  other  forms  of  self- 
assertion.  Josie,  on  her  part,  saw  that  she 
had  influenced  him,  and  liked  him  because 
of  it.  Besides,  now  that  he  said  few  disa- 
greeable things  and  uttered  an  occasional 
compliment,  he  was  at  times  positively  at- 
tractive. She,  of  course,  did  not  know,  she 
was  too  young  yet  to  have  learned  how  dif- 
ficult, how  almost  impossible,  it  is  to  change 
character. 

We  arc  the  sons  of  our  ancestors ;  we  are 
our  ancestors  over  again.     One  may  say  that 


there  is  never  a  new,  .a  perfectly  individual 
temperament  born  upon  earth.  Circum- 
stances and  education  vary  the  transmitted 
type  more  or  less  in  exteriors,  but  not  at  all 
in  its  inner  nature.  Leave  the  plant  to  it- 
self, and  it  reverts  to  its  ]irimal  character, 
producing  the  hereditary  fruit  of  its  kind. 
This  Sykes  Drummond,  for  instance,  no  mat- 
ter how  he  might  strive  to  polish  his  man- 
ners, would  always  be,  in  emergencies,  and 
iu  forgetful  moments,  coarse,  insolent,  and 
masterful.  He  came  of  a  breed  remarkable 
for  its  energy,  arrogance,  and  combativeness. 

However,  these  two  now  got  on  nicely  to- 
gether, much  to  the  grief  of  poor  Mr.  HoUow- 
bread.  He  did  not  receive  any  revelations 
from  Sykes,  not  even  in  the  way  of  snorts  of 
triumphant  laughter;  and  much  less  did  he 
glean  any  disturbing  hints  from  the  conver- 
sation of  our  clever  and  considerate  heroine. 
But  he  saw  things  which  worried  him;  he 
found  an  envelope  addressed  to  Drummond 
iu  his  betrothed's  adored  handwriting ;  he 
encountered  that  gentleman  several  times 
in  the  Warden  parlor ;  he  beheld  him  from  a 
distance  entering  the  house;  he  caught  him 
leaving  it. 

Old  men  engaged  to  young  lassies  are  al- 
ways jealous,  and  perhaps  justly  so.  Mr. 
Hollowbread  was  so  troubled  in  this  way 
that  he  could  not  get  his  due  and  essential 
allowance  of  sleep.  He  rose  from  wakeful 
j)illows  with  aching  bones,  a  dizzy  head,  and 
watery  eyes,  absolutely  unable  to  see  what 
his  breakfast  was  without  glasses,  and  not 
much  better  able  to  taste  it. 

He  would  have  remonstrated  witb  Josie 
as  to  Drummond's  visits,  only  that  he  loved 
his  little  jilt  dearly,  and  was  therefore  afraid 
of  her.  Occasionally,  indeed,  he  dared  to 
hint  his  dissatisfaction  by  talking  little, 
looking  "  grumpy,"  and  sighing.  But  it 
amounted  to  just  nothing  at  all.  The  man 
kept  coming,  and  she  kept  receiving  him, 
and,  in  short,  it  was  dreadful. 

At  last  —  oh  dear!  that  a  conscientious 
narrator  should  have  to  tell  such  things! — 
at  last  our  poor  Hollowbread  beheld  Drum- 
mond kissing  Josie's  hand. 

Did  he  speak  ?  No,  he  choked  ;  he  came 
as  near  as  possible  to  having  a  fit  on  the 
spot ;  and,  mixed  with  his  griefs,  ho  felt  a 
sudden  terror  lest  he  should  die ;  yes,  die  and 
lose  his  Josie. 

An  afflicted  person  in  such  a  state  of  health 
could  do  no  better  than  to  close  the  door 
softly  and  go  straight  home. 

That  night  ho  had  to  be  sat  up  with,  his 
feet  in  a  tub  of  hot  water  and  nuistard,  and 
a  bandage  soaked  in  chloroform  around  his 
capacious  noddle.  His  servitor  iu  this  ex- 
tremity subseciuently  reported  that  "Mars 
Hollowbread  had  a  most  awful  ncwraligy, 
an'  cried  like  a  baby." 

It  was  in  the  bosom,  however,  that  our 
frieud  suffered  mainly.     Was  his  adored  one 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


159 


false  to  liiin,  or  Tvas  that  kiss  a  mere  Drnm- 
montlisli  impertiueucc  ?  Keasou  as  be  iniglit 
iu  fivvor  of  tlio  latter  suppositiou,  he  could 
uot  help  fearing  that  his  Josio  was  an  incur- 
able coquette,  and  that,  even  after  their  mar- 
riage, she  AYOuld  continue  to  flirt.  Should 
he  sunnnou  up  all  his  self-respect  and  forti- 
tude, and  tell  her  that  he  freed  her  from  her 
engagement  ? 

"  No,  no ;  I  could  not  do  it !"  groaned  and 
•whimpered  this  pathetically  earnest  and 
humble  lover.  "  I  am  happier  with  her 
playing  the  deuce  with  me  than  I  would  be 
without  her." 

AVcll,  he  did  not  die;  nor  did  ho  quarrel 
with  his  affianced  because  of  the  kiss;  nor 
did  he  ever  say  a  word  to  her  about  it.  As 
nothing  of  the  kind  ever  blasted  his  sight 
again,  ho  soon  learned  to  hope  that  Drum- 
nioud  had  relinquished  those  obnoxious  os- 
culatory  habits,  and  at  last  half  persuaded 
himself  that  he  had  never  seen  what  he  did 
see. 

Meantime  he  kept  on  working  faithfully 
for  Josie's  claim,  hoping  therebj'  to  win  her 
gratitude,  and  so  keep  her  heart.  Not  a 
thought  now  of  statesman-like  honor ;  not  a 
compunction  as  to  robbing  the  treasury  of 
his  country  ;  not  a  throb  of  regret  as  to  in- 
creasing the  burdens  of  a  tax-hampered  peo- 
ple. He  was  a  degraded  marauder  of  poli- 
tics, fighting  from  the  ambushes  of  special 
legislation :  a  bewitched  old  Lothario,  sacri- 
ficing others  and  himself  for  a  passion. 


CHAPTEK  XLVL 

EDGAR  BRADFORD'S  COXFIDEXCES. 

It  will  be  remembered  that  Colonel  Mur- 
ray was  obliged  to  take  his  widowed,  sor- 
rowing, half-crazed,  and  failing  brother  on  a 
journey. 

The  poor  rector  traveled  far — farther  than 
the  colonel  eould  accompany  him — farther 
than  any  man  has  yet  voyaged  and  returned. 
A  week  after  his  body  had  been  laid  in  the 
family  vault  under  an  old  gray  church  of 
ante-Revolutionary  date,  the  surviving  Mur- 
ray of  that  generation  re-appeared  in  Wash- 
ington with  a  weed  around  his  tall  white 
hat,  and  a  new  furrow  or  two  athwart  his 
long  white  face. 

Bradford  met  him  on  the  broatl  sidewalk 
in  front  of  the  War  Department,  and  spoke 
to  him  twice  ere  he  could  call  him  out  of  a 
reverie. 

"  My  dear  colonel,  I  am  glad  to  see  you," 
he  said,  joyfully.  Then,  noticing  the  sad- 
dened countenance  and  the  mourning,  he 
added,  "  I  hope  that  all  is  well." 

"All  is  well  that  survives,"  replied  the  old 
gentleman,  struggling  to  control  a  spasm 
which  twitched  his  thin  lips. 

"  What !"  exclaimed  Bradford. 


"Yes — my  brother  failed  under  it,"  con- 
tinued the  colonel,  his  gray  eyes  fixed  on  va- 
cancy with  a  strangely  mournful  stonincss, 
reminding  one  of  sepulclir.al  granite.  "He 
was  bound  up  in  his  wife.  Well,  let  us  hope 
that  they  arc  together  again." 

•'  It  is  very  sad — and  surprising,"  sighed 
Bradford.  "Many  people  hoped  and  be- 
lieved that  the  result  would  be  different." 

This  was  true  enough.  Many  of  the  rec- 
tor's acquaintances  had  predicted  tliat,  onco 
he  was  fairly  rid  of  his  sickly  burden  of  a 
wife,  he  would  proceed  to  "  have  a  good 
time."  Mrs.  Warden,  for  instance,  had  in- 
sisted that  ho  would  marry  again,  and  had 
perhaps  contemplated  the  possibility  of  an 
ofler  coming  her  way. 

"He  was  too  heavenly-hearted  to  live  af- 
ter he  had  ceased  loving,"  said  the  colonel, 
clearing  his  throat.  "  It  seemed  to  him  that 
his  work  in  life,  his  responsibilities  and  uses, 
were  gone.  Probably  it  was  a  mercy  to  him 
that  his  physical  nature  was  so  weak." 

"  People  will  blame  Mrs.  Augustus  Mur- 
ray for  this  result." 

"They  will  be  but  partly  just,"  replied 
the  rational  old  soldier.  "  She  hurt  him  ; 
hurt  them  both.  But  I  don't  know  that  I 
can  condemn  her  for  this  ending.  Life  is  a 
battle.  You  get  your  ball,  and  it  does  for 
you.  But  the  man  who  fired  it  did  uot  aim 
at  you ;  was  acting  blindly  and  to  save  him- 
self;  he  bore  no  malice.  Josie's  faults  are 
selfishness,  dishonesty,  and  lying.  She  is 
not  malignant.  But  let  this  pass,"  he  add- 
ed, shaking  himself,  or,  perhaps,  shivering. 
"  What  is  the  news  with  you,  Bradford  ?" 

Then  there  ensued  some  talk  concerning 
Congressional  schemes,  hopes,  and  labors. 

"Have  you  any  further  report  concerning 
that  barn-burning  swindle?"  the  colonel 
eventually  asked. 

"Bangs  assures  me  that  the  bill  has  been 
thrown  out  by  his  committee.  I  don't  feel 
obliged  to  believe  any  statement  of  his,  but 
I  think  it  likely  that  the  thing  should  be  so. 
It  was  an  audacious  job.  Mrs.  Murray  is 
still  staying  with  the  Wardens,  but  I  never 
see  her." 

"  You  haven't  felt  obliged  to  cut  Belle,  I 
hope  ?" 

"  No,"  said  the  young  man,  coloring  in  a 
becoming  manner,  and  looking  very  hand- 
some, and  very  good,  too.  Then,  after  a 
moment  of  hesitation,  ho  continued,  "  Col- 
onel, I  should  like  to  make  a  confidence  to 
you.  I  think  I  can  give  you  a  pleasure. 
If  iliss  Warden  will  accept  me,  I  shall  marry 
her." 

For  the  first  time  in  a  month  an  honest, 
hearty  smile  broke  out  on  the  old  man's  face. 
With  an  almost  iiarcntal  air  of  petting  and 
blessing,  he  placed  one  of  his  gaunt,  wasted 
hands  on  Bradford's  shoulder,  and  said, 

"I  am  glad  to  hear  this.  You  are  two 
young  people  whom  I  like  and  respect.     I 


160 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


think  it  would  be  the  best  thing  either  of 
you  could  do  to  fall  into  the  great  column 
which  is  charging  on  the  unknown  along- 
side of  each  other." 
!  "  She  is  my  superior,"  declared  Bradford, 
who  was  in  a  tender  and  worshiping  temper. 
"  She  is  fit  to  be  my  officer.  She  will  up- 
hold me.  This  is  a  place  of  horrible  tempta- 
tions, colonel.  She  will  be  just  such  a  wife 
as  a  Congressman  needs.  She  will  not  let 
me  do  an  unworthy  action.  I  may  not  love 
her  as  much  as  she  deserves — it  is  not  easy 
to  be  noble  enough  to  do  that ;  but  I  know 
that  I  shall  reverence  her." 

"  I  know  that  you  will,"  replied  the  col- 
onel, wonderfully  touched  for  au  old  soldier 
and  an  old  bachelor.  "  I  feel  assured,  Brad- 
ford, that  there  is  good  enough  in  you  for 
that." 

"  I  thank  you,  colonel :  you  give  me  great 
j)leasure,-'  declared  our  new  lover,  all  alight 
and  aflame  with  fine  emotions.  "  Well, 
good-bye." 

"Good-bye,  and  success  to  you!"  called 
the  old  man,  divining  why  the  young  one 
strode  away  so  rapidly. 

In  the  heat  aroused  by  this  confession, 
and  by  the  satisfaction  with  which  the  col- 
onel had  received  it,  Bradford  went  straight 
in  search  of  Belle  to  tell  her  his  love.  He 
was  iu  that  agreeable  state  of  excitement 
which  often  follows  upon  a  fine  decision, 
and  accompanies  the  first  eager  steps  of  re- 
sultant action. 

There  was  a  delicious  warmth  in  him, 
like  the  warmth  of  summer  mornings,  full 
of  balminess  and  of  warblings.  His  emo- 
tions, his  intellectual  forces,  and  the  very 
currents  in  his  veins,  down  to  the  tiniest 
throbbing  rivulet,  were  all  tropical. 

It  seemed  to  him,  and  it  undoubtedly  was, 
the  happiest  and  most  splendid  moment  of 
his  life.  Never  before  had  he  laid  down  ev- 
ery ounce  of  nature's  egotism,  and  complete- 
ly preferred  another  being  to  himself. 

Thus  lightened  of  all  selfishness,  he  rose 
somewhat  above  the  normal  level  of  human- 
ity, attaining  to  the  altitude  of  spirits  capa- 
ble of  sacrifice,  and  coming  within  vision  of 
,  angels. 

At  first  thought  it  seems  a  grand  pity 
that  this  lofty  self-forgetfulness  of  the  lover 
can  not  last  throughout  his  existence,  and 
can  not  become  a  universal  characteristic 
of  our  race.  But  there  is  sad  chance  that 
so  heavenly  a  state  of  mind  would  be  ill- 
suited  in  the  long  run  to  a  brood  which 
must  struggle  with  the  physical  difficulties 
of  this  planet.  In  some  such  a  state  poor 
old  Rector  Murray  had  lived,  Avith  the  re- 
sult that  he  did  no  worthy  work  beyond 
comforting  one  woman. 

If  we  were  all  divested  of  self-preserving 
egotism,  and  robed  for  life  in  the  innocent 
swaddlings  of  unmixed  love,  we  should  prob- 
ably lose  our  civilization,  dress  in  fig-leaves. 


and  become  extinct.  We  should  meet  the 
fate  of  that  famous  tribe  of  monkeys  who 
sat  in  each  other's  laps  until  they  all  starved 
to  death. 

Bradford  was  soon  at  the  Warden  house, 
and  alone  with  Mrs.  Warden.  He  had  no 
fear  of  being  discouraged  by  her,  and  not 
much  fear  of  being  rejected  by  her  daugh- 
ter. On  the  contrary,  he  felt  able  to  make 
self- respectful  terms  with  the  elder  lady, 
and  to  ofi'er  himself  to  the  younger  with  al- 
most as  much  confidence  as  willingness. 

"  Mrs.  Warden,  I  wish  to  speak  to  you  of 
Belle,"  he  began.  "And  if  what  I  am  about 
to  say  is  agreeable  to  you,  I  shall  then  wish 
to  sjieak  to  her." 

The  lady's  large,  dusky,  and,  one  might 
almost  say,  smoky-black  eyes  sparkled  and 
danced  with  intense  satisfaction. 

"  I  don't  think,  Mr.  Bradford,"  she  replied, 
"  that  you  could  say  any  thing  of  Belle,  or 
to  Belle,  which  would  not  give  me  pleasure." 

It  was  nttered  with  an  impulsive  prompt- 
ness which  revealed  vividly  her  liking  for 
him  and  her  adoration  of  her  child. 

The  answer  and  the  manner  nearly  be- 
wildered him ;  nearly  made  him  forget  the 
terms  which  he  meant  to  impose.  But  they 
were  tremendously  important ;  they  were 
essential,  as  he  thought,  to  his  honor  as  a 
bridegroom  and  a  statesman  ;  and,  after  wa- 
vering for  a  moment,  he  swung  back  to  them 
with  a  firm  grip. 

"  I  think  Belle  is  worthy,  and  much  bet- 
ter than  worthy,  of  being  my  wife,"  he  con- 
tinued. "I  desire,  above  all  things  in  the 
world,  to  win  her  for  a  wife." 

In  her  joy  Mrs.  Warden  smiled,  bowed, 
fairly  leaned  toward  him,  and  colored  deep- 
ly. There  could  be  no  doubt  that  she 
thought  him  the  finest  of  young  men;  and 
once  more  he  nearly  flinched  from  his  task 
of  imposing  conditions  upon  such  a  wel- 
come. 

"But  I  must  ask  two  favors  before  I  ask 
this  greatest  of  all  favors,"  he  managed  to 
proceed.  "  I  must  beg  of  j-ou  to  let  Mrs. 
Murray  look  for  another  home." 

"It  would  be  quite  proper,"  murmured 
Mrs.  Warden. 

Of  course  ;  it  was  her  business  as  a  moth- 
er to  rid  Belle  of  a  companion  who  might 
prove  a  dangerous  rival;  and,  furthermore, 
it  was  natural  that  a  freshly  engaged  man 
should  hate  to  meet  daily  an  old  flame  with 
whom  he  had  perhaps  been  very,  very  iuti- 
mate. 

It  was  characteristic  of  the  lady,  by-the- 
way,  and  shows  how  deeply  her  moral  sense 
had  been  seared  by  worldliness,  that  she 
should  make  this  last  reflection  with  the  ut- 
most composure  of  mind,  and  without  pass- 
ing severe  sentence  upon  either  Bradford  or 
Josie.  She  did  not  sit  in  judgment  on  them; 
she  did  not  find  them  either  guilty  or  not 
guilty  of  improper  demeanor;  she  did  not 


PLAYING  TILE  MISCHIEF. 


161 


care  one  straw  whether  they  had  been  gnilty 
or  not.  In  all  such  matters  she  was  as  in- 
different as  Gallio,  and  as  immorally  un- 
prejudiced as  Machiavclli. 

It  seems  impossible  at  first  glance  that 
such  a  woman  could  liavc  a  dauglitcr  like 
Belle,  whoso  chief  spiritual  trait  was  stren- 
uous and  almost  uucharitablo  uprightness. 

But  here  we  come  again  to  the  miracle,  or, 
rather,  to  the  law,  of  hereditary  character. 
James  C'hanning  Warden  had  been  a  man 
of  fastidious  trutlifulness  and  purity. 

"  I  thank  you  for  your  very  great  kind- 
ness, Mrs.  Warden,"  pursued  Bradford.  "  But 
I  feel  bound  to  ask  one  thing  more,  and,  I 
suppose,  a  much  harder  thing." 

He  hesitated,  and  she  trembled.  Could 
it  be  that  ho  would  wish  her  to  give  up  her 
claim  ?  An  old  gambler,  who  is  urged  by 
puissant  circumstances  to  forswear  gaming, 
can  imagine  her  emotions.  Her  voice  was 
Aveak,  and  her  swarthy  cheek  faded,  as  she 
asked,"Whatisit?"' 

"It  is  this,  that  you  will  withdraw  your 
claim  from  before  Congress,  with  the  under- 
standing that  it  is  never  to  be  renewed." 

Mrs.  Warden  had  to  summon  all  her  forti- 
tude to  suppress  a  groan,  and  to  keep  herself 
from  turning  faint.  But,  infatuated  as  she 
was  with  claim-hunting,  she  still  had  a  few 
scattered  atoms  of  connnon  sense  left,  and 
she  knew  that  it  would  be  madness  to  re- 
ject this  demand.  Her  small  fortune  was 
nearly  gone  ;  her  longed-for  apx:)ropriation 
seemed  as  far  beyond  her  grasp  as  ever ;  and 
Lei'e,if  she  would  resign  that  shadow,  was  a 
brilliant  and  wealthy  son-in-law. 

'•  I  viill  withdraw  it,  Mr.  Bradford,"  she 
whispered,  with  a  sensation  of  having  been 
bled  deeply,  and  lying  helpless  in  the  sur- 
geon's hands.  "  It  has  worn  my  life  out," 
she  added,  venting  her  petulance  on  the  un- 
grateful delusion  which  was  now  escaping 
her.  "  I  shall  be  glad — glad  to  stop  it,"  she 
gasped  on,  almost  weeping.  "  Of  course,  I 
pledge  myself  not  to  renew  it — oh,  willing- 
ly! willingly!" 

"  This  gives  you  pain,"  he  said,  walking 
up  to  her,  and  taking  both  her  hands.  "  I 
will  see  that  you  never  regret  it." 

She  jumped  to  her  feet,  drew  him  close  to 
her  with  characteristic  animation,  and  kissed 
his  forehead  fervently,  almost  passionately. 

"You  are  the  noblest  young  man  in  the 
world  I"  she  exclaimed.  "  I  shall  be  un- 
speakably proud  of  you.  There  !  Now  I 
will  send  Belle  to  you." 

Euuning  hastily  up  stairs  with  the  glee 
of  a  child  who  has  lost  one  plaything  and 
found  another,  she  dashed  into  her  daugh- 
ter's room,  contem]ilated  the  girl  with  spar- 
kling eyes  and  a  triumphant  smile,  and  at 
last  burst  out  laughing,  being  a  trille  hyster- 
ical with  conflicting  emotions. 

"What  has  happened,  mamma?"  asked 
our  Juno,  not  even  raising  her  head  from  her 
11 


work,  and  only  lifting  her  long  lashes  from 
her  calm,  lucid  blue  eyes. 

"  Belle,  go  down  stairs  and  entertain  Mr. 
Ih-adford,"  was  the  reply,  uttered  in  Die  most 
nonchalant  contralto  tone  possible,  for  Mrs. 
Warden  had  suddenly  conceived  the  delight- 
ful idea  of  giving  lier  daughter  a  surprise. 
"  He  has  come  to  make  a  call." 

"  I  don't  see  tlie  j(jko  of  it,  mamma,"  said 
Belle,  rising  at  once,  with  a  heightened  color 
in  her  blonde  cheeks. 

"Ho  wants  you  to  go  on  a  picnic  with 
him — to  the  IIai)pj'  Isles,  or  somewhere.  Ho 
will  tell  you  all  about  it.  I  don't  object,  if 
you  don't." 

"  A  picnic  at  this  season  !"  marveled  Belle, 
and  rustled  innocently  down  to  meet  her 
fate,  though  prepared  in  heart  to  bow  to  itj 
yes,  and  to  do  it  reverence. 

When  she  entered  the  parlor,  she  saw 
Bradford  coming  slowly  to  receive  her,  with 
a  peculiarly  grave,  tender  expression  in  his 
meditative  hazel  eyes,  and  with  both  hands 
cordially  extended. 

"  What  does  this  mean?  A  picnic  ?"  she 
smiled,  Avhile  suffering  her  fingers  to  become 
entangled  with  his. 

"Your  mother  told  you  that  ?"  he  replied, 
with  a  low  laugh,  a  laugh  which  struck  her  as 
deliciously  Huisical.  "  She  wanted  me  to  sur- 
prise you,"  and  for  a  moment  he  adored  Mrs. 
Warden.  "  I  hope,  my  dear  beautiful  girl, 
that  it  will  be  a  pleasant  surprise." 

"  Oh  !  what  do  you  mean,  Mr.  Bradford  '?" 
gasped  Belle,  her  heart  suddenly  beginning 
such  a  thumping  that  she  could  scarcely 
breathe. 

"  My  dear,  it  means — "  And  here  he  lifted 
her  hands  to  his  li^is.  "  My  very  dear  one,  it 
means — " 

And  then  ho  told  her  the  old,  beautiful 
story,  the  fairy  tale  which  has  given  a  thou- 
sand-fold more  delight  than  all  others,  the 
tale  of  worshiping  and  loving  which  ends 
with  asking  in  marriage. 

"  Yes,"  was  Belle's  answer,  not  spoken  so 
much  as  whispered,  or,  rather,  breathed. 
"Could  you  have  feared  that  I  would  say 
any  thing  else  ?" 

"Yes.     I  could." 

"  You  need  not  have  feared  :  not  for  months 
back.  You  are  good  and  honorable.  I  love 
you  for  it." 

"Not  very  good.  But  I  will  be  better; 
for  your  sake." 

"  I  am  satisfied  with  j"ou.     Perfectly." 

"No.  I  will  better — gentler,  and  purer. 
Heaven  help  me !" 

"  You  frighten  me.  I  shall  never  be  wor- 
thy of  you." 

"  Oh,  my  noble  one  !  How  sweet  of  you 
to  say  so !" 

They  misjudged  and  exaggerated  each 
other,  no  doubt ;  but  they  were  the  holier  in 
feeling  and  jiurpose  because  of  this  hyper- 
bole of  appreciation ;  they  were  iu  that  pes- 


162 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


session  of  entlinsiasm,  faitli,  hope,  and  es- 
X>€ctation  Avliich  inspires  so  many  great  and 
beautiful  deeds  :  that  superhuman  extrava- 
gance of  the  heart  which  always  deludes, 
but  which  always  uplifts. 


CHAPTEK  XLVII. 

JOSIE'S  FRESn  TKOUBLES  AXD  COMPLICA- 
TIOXS. 

While  the  two  lovers  mingled  their  hearts 
in  the  parlor,  Mrs.  Warden  hearkened  from 
the  top  of  the  stairs  in  a  couiiict  of  emotions. 

"K  she  refuses  him,  I  do  believe  I  shall 
pound  her !"  she  muttered,  shaking  her  fist  in 
the  air,  while  she  leaned  over  the  banisters 
and  strove  to  catch  some  sound  which  should 
reveal  how  the  wooing  was  speeding.  "I 
wish  I  had  told  her  to  mind  what  she  was 
about,  and  not  make  a  fool  of  herself." 

It  is  a  fact — a  very  odd  one,  surely,  and 
yet,  proljably,  a  very  natural  one — that  this 
eccentric  woman  looked  upon  her  upright 
and  straightforward  daughter  as  extremely 
queer.  Belle  was  not  like  other  girls,  she 
insisted  ;  there  never  was  any  telling  what 
she  would  think  or  what  she  would  do  ;  nev- 
er yet  had  she  held  her  mother's  opinions  or 
wanted  to  do  her  mother's  bidding.  She 
had  seemed  to  like  Bradford  very  much,  and 
still,  at  the  last  minute,  she  might  not  take 
him. 

Nor,  while  saying  all  these  things  to  her- 
self, could  Mrs.  Warden  forget  her  now  out- 
cast claim,  or  quite  fail  to  grumble  at  the 
young  Congressman  for  condemning  it.  But 
to  a  woman,  and  especially  to  an  interested 
mother,  a  betrothal  is  always  an  occupying 
and  august  subject,  capable  of  administering 
vast  consolation.  When  our  anxious  mam- 
ma overheard  how  nicely  matters  were  go- 
ing below  stairs,  she  forgot  that  Belle  was 
singular  and  irrational,  forgot  that  her  ap- 
propriation must  miscarry,  and  was  one  of 
the  happiest  of  mortals. 

She  joined  the  two  loving  ones  as  soon  as 
her  sense  of  the  proprieties  of  the  case  would 
admit,  and  kissed  them  and  blessed  them 
with  the  sensibility  of  a  heart  which  was  as 
fervid  as  it  was  wayward. 

After  Bradford  had  departed,  and  after  she 
had  talked  over  the  rose-colored  future  with 
her  daughter,  she  set  herself  to  the  task  of 
cutting  loose  from  her  lodger, 

Josie  had  just  returned  from  an  absence 
of  some  hours,  and  had  been  heard  to  go  di- 
rectly to  her  room.  Mrs.  Warden  dropped 
in  upon  her  with  a  smile,  and  caught  her 
wiping  away  a  tear. 

"  My  dear,  yon  are  looking  very  tired,"  she 
said.  "  I  am  afraid  you  overdo  yourself  with 
these  long  walks." 

"  I  am  awfully  tired,"  responded  poor  Jo- 
sie, who  had  como  near  to  meeting  Bradford 


in  the  street,  and  had  seen  him  evade  her. 
"  It  isn't  the  walking,  though — that  rests  me ; 
it  is  listening  to  those  long-winded  creatures 
at  the  Capitol,"  she  rattled  on,  trying  to  con- 
ceal her  agitation.  "I  couldn't  help  think- 
ing how  much  more  interesting  they  would 
be  if  they  were  deaf  and  dumb,  and  only 
made  signs.  And,  oh  !  the  manners  !  Gen- 
eral Bangs  sat  on  the  small  of  his  back,  with 
one  leg  over  his  desk.  Honest  John  Vane 
combed  his  hair  with  a  iiocket-comb  which 
must  have  cost  twenty -five  cents.  Mr. 
Sharp  cleaned  his  long,  yeUow  teeth  with 
his  handkerchief.  It  is  worse  than  the  Jap- 
anese ambassadors  playing  with  their  toes." 

"What  is  u]3  to-day  ?  Who  spoke  ?"  said 
Mrs.  Warden,  who,  as  we  remember,  was 
clean  cracked  about  Congress. 

"  Mr.  Sharp,  Honest  John  Vane,  Mr.  Hol- 
lowbread,  and  I  don't  know  who  else." 

"  Mr.  Hollowbread !  You  ought  to  have 
been  interested." 

Josie  made  a  face.  Mrs.  Warden  burst 
out  laughing.  It  was  perfectly  understood 
between  them  that  Mr.  Hollowbread  was 
something  of  a  bore,  even  to  his  betrothed. 

"  Oh,  he  does  very  well,  you  know,"  added 
Josie.  "  It  was  all  rounded  and  finished, 
and  polished  and  balanced  and  Blaired.  It 
was  as  genteel  as  the  gait  of  a  gentleman  of 
the  old  school.  He  spoke  better  than  any 
body  else,  and  he  was  apx>lauded,  too ;  but 
it  was  about  contracting  and  inllating  the 
currency  ;  and  who  cares  about  contraction 
and  inflation  ?  I  saw  Mrs.  John  Vane  there, 
waving  her  handkerchief  at  her  husband — 
to  show  that  it  was  all  lace,  I  suppose.  She 
ought  to  have  gone  to  the  other  wing  and 
waved  it  at  Senator  Irouman,  who  probably 
gave  it  to  her.  They  did  almost  nothing. 
They  passed  one  appropriation  bill,  but  noth- 
ing for  us.  Twenty -five  millions  to  the 
navy!  Dear  me,  what  a  lot  of  monej'  there  is 
wasted !  Three  hundred  millions  a  year,  and 
nothing  for  yon  or  me  !  I  wanted  to  get  uj) 
and  say  that  it  was  wicked,  and  that  things 
would  go  diiferently  when  women  voted,  and 
all  that  sort  of  nonsense ;  but  I  saw  that 
l)oor,  demented  Nancy  Appleyard  blooineriz- 
ing  opposite  me,  and  staring  at  Mr.  Druni- 
mond,  and  I  gave  up  the  idea  of  making  a 
speech  for  fear  it  should  please  her." 

"And  were  there  no  private  bills?"  ask- 
ed Mrs.  Warden,  with  a  faint  hope  that  her 
appropriation  had  jiassed  somehow — passed 
by  accident,  by  miracle.  "Are  you  perfectly 
sure  ?" 

"Not  one:  not  so  much  as  the  vurth  of 
Mr.  Stiggins's  umbrella;  nothing  for  Em- 
manuel," replied  Josie. 

Tlie  descendant  of  Connnodoro  What's- 
his-name  sighed ;  then  she  turned  to  the  bus- 
iness of  evicting  her  tenant. 

"  I  am  so  sorry  to  tell  you  that  we  have 
got  to  part,"  she  said;  and  really  she  was 
a  little  sorry,  as  well  as  not  a  little  glad. 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


IGC 


"  Part !  What  is  tbo  matter  now !"  de- 
manded our  heroine. 

Sbo  spoke  -^ith  an  unnsnal  tartness,  for 
not  only  Avas  the  suggestion  vexatious,  but 
that  dodging  of  Bradford  had  been  irrita- 
ting, and  her  heart  was  still  sore  from  it. 

"My  dear,  I  am  so  sorry,"  palavered  Jlrs. 
^Yarden.  *'  I  hate  above  all  things  to  lose 
you.  I5ut  circumstances  have  occurred  which 
render  it  absolutely  necessary  that  I  should 
have  the  whole  of  my  house." 

'•  I  thought  wo  were  to  live  together  and 
work  together?"  muttered  Josie,  almost  at 
the  point  of  whimpering,  for  sho  did  not 
know  whereto  go. 

Mrs.  "Wardeu  liesitated  and  pondered.  She 
had  not  by  any  means  lost  all  hope  with  re- 
gard to  her  appropriation,  and  this  reference 
to  it  made  her  long  to  keep  friendship  with 
her  tenant,  that  able  and  indefatigable  wire- 
puller. Still,  one  thing  was  certain  :  it  was 
absolutely  necessary  to  get  Bradford's  old 
flame  out  of  the  house ;  and  so  she  presently 
added,  not  without  a  sigh, 

'•  I  have  dropped  my  claim." 

Our  heroine  looked  up  sharply ;  she  knew 
that  somethiugveryextraordiuarymust  have 
happened  to  account  for  such  a  decision,  and 
she  began  to  divine  what  it  was,  and  to 
tremble. 

"  The  truth  is,  that  Belle  is  engaged  to 
Edgar  Bradford,"  burst  forth  the  proud  moth- 
er, unable  longer  to  hold  iu  the  splendid  rev- 
elation. 

Perhaps  it  was  the  most  crushing  and  tor- 
turing piece  of  news  that  had  ever  fallen 
Tipon  Josie's  heart.  She  had  partially  ex- 
pected it,  aud  yet  it  came  to  her,  as  death  or 
any  other  giant  calamity  always  comes,  with 
stunning  aud  inclement  suddenness.  Her 
face  turned  marble-white,  and  for  a  moment 
she  could  not  reply,  not  even  in  a  whisper. 

'•'And  so  you  see,  my  dear,  it  will  be  real- 
ly necessary  that  we  should  soon  have  the 
whole  of  oxir  house,"  continued  Mrs.  "Warden, 
meanwhile  surveying  her  victim  steadily,  not 
with  any  purpose  of  inflicting  pain,  but  with 
the  unmeant  cruelty  of  curiosity. 

"  Certainly,"  murnuired  Josie,  speaking, 
as  it  seemed  to  her,  out  of  a  dream,  or  rather 
a  nightmare.  Then  she  made  an  immense 
effort,  and  added,  "  I  congratufate  Belle." 

"  When  shoukl  you  fixncy  going  ?"  asked 
Mrs.  Warden,  somewhat  anxiously. 

With  this  pretty  woman  iu  love  with 
Bradford,  and  ready,  doubtless,  to  fling  her- 
self at  his  head  on  the  first  opportunity,  it 
would  bo  well  to  get  quit  of  her  as  soon  as 
possible,  and  jierhaps  well  to  quarrel  with 
her. 

"I  will  go  as  soon  as  I  can,"  quavered 
Josie,  rising  in  anger.  '•  I  will  see  about  a 
lodging-place  at  once." 

Mrs.  Warden  murmured  that  she  was  ''  so 
sorry,''  rustled  hastily  out  of  the  room,  look- 
ed up  her  daughter,  and  whispered,  "  I  have 


told  her  every  thing.  She  is  dead  in  lovo 
with  him." 

"  Mamma !  Stop  !"  hissed  Belle,  unable  to 
bear  that  any  other  woman  should  dare  to 
love  the  sacred  man  of  her  heart.  "I  will 
not  hear  a  word  about  that!" 

"Never  mind.  Sho  is  going  to-day.  The 
sooner  the  better." 

There  was  a  sudden  revulsion  of  feeling 
in  Belle,  an  outburst  of  pit  j'  for  her  unhappy 
rival.  In  that  joyous  day,  and  for  many  joy- 
ous daj's  to  come,  it  must  seem  to  her  that  a 
disappointment  in  love  would  bo  the  fearful- 
est  of  calamities,  worthy  of  the  profouudest 
compassion. 

"Poor  Josie !"  she  said,  pressing  her  hands 
to  her  eyes  and  wiping  away  tears  of  sym- 
j)athy. 

"  Nonsense !"  laughed  the  mother.  "  She 
can  stand  it — with  all  her  men  to  help  her." 

Meantime,  Josie  had  left  the  house  with 
the  noiselessness  of  a  hall-thief,  anxious  to 
evade  every  eye.  After  an  hour  she  return- 
ed, almost  as  pale  as  when  the  engagement 
was  revealed  to  her,  and  obviously  in  a  state 
of  exhaustion.  Immediately  Mrs.  Warden 
hastened  to  her  room  to  conclude  a  matter  of 
business — the  price  of  board. 

"I  have  found  a  place,"  said  Josie,  who 
was  packing  her  trunk,  and  who  continued 
to  pack  without  looking  up.  "  I  hate  board- 
ing-houses, but  I  must  try  one  for  the  jires- 
eut.     I  shall  go  to-night." 

"And  as  to  our — our  common  exxienses?" 
suggested  Mrs.  Warden,  who  had  no  confi- 
dence in  debtors,  especially  female  ones.  "  I 
thought,  my  dear,  that  perhaps  we  had  bet- 
ter settle  that  matter  while  it  is  convenient." 

"  We  never  fixed  upon  any  terms,"  mum- 
bled Josie,  whose  porte-monnaie  was  nearly 
emjity,  and  no  dividends  due  for  some  time. 

"Ah!  yes  —  don't  you  remember?  You 
were  to  pay  one-third,  my  dear.  Now  our 
expenses  are  about  four  thousand  a  year,  and 
for  one  month  that  would  be  three  hundred 
and  thirty-three  dollars." 

"Four  thousand  dollars!  Goodness  gra- 
cious, Mrs.  Wardeu !  But  that  must  include 
your  private  expenses.  You  surely  don't 
mean  to  make  me  pay  for  your  dresses  aud 
jewelry?" 

"  Oh,  exactly !"  stared  the  lady  of  the 
house,  honestly  confounded.  Sho  had  gono 
through  the  whole  of  this  wonderful  cal- 
culation without  once  suspecting  the  error 
which  vitiated  it.  "  Why,  certainly  !  How 
could  I  forget  that  ?  Isn't  it  funny  ?  Well, 
as  to  my  mere  housekeeping  expenses,  I  don'c 
know  iu  the  least  what  they  are.  It  would 
take  me  forever  to  find  out.  Perhaps  Belle 
would  know  something.  She  pavs  all  the 
bills." 

She  flew  down  stairs  and  consulted  her 
daughter. 

"  I  certainly  think,"  she  said,  "  that  sho 
ought  to  pay  forty  dollars  a  week." 


164 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


"  Ola !  mamma !  And  you  say  slie  really 
loved  bim !"  returned  Belle,  who  had  come  to 
regard  that  fact  ■with  solemn  sympathy  and 
tenderness.  "  How  can  you  chaffer  with  her  ? 
Take  any  thing — take  nothing.  We  will 
pawn  our  furniture  to  get  along." 

"And  how  will  I  ever  buy  you  an  oufit  ?" 
groaned  the  impoverished  descendant  of 
Commodore  Hooker. 

"What!  are  we  so  poor  as  that?  Well, 
I  will  be  married  without  an  outtit.  I  wiU 
ask  my  husband  for  dresses  to  begin  my 
married  life,"  declared  the  heroic  Belle, 
shedding  a  few  of  those  tears  wjiich  gener- 
ally accompany  feminine  heroism.  "  But 
one  poor  woman  must  not  rob  another.  It 
is  worse,  almost,  than  robbing  the  Treasury. 
Mamma,  don't  you  ask  her  more  than  ten 
dollars  a  week.  That  will  more  than  cover 
the  cost  of  her  food.  I  suppose  she  would 
rather  pay  it  than  be  under  an  obligation." 

Mrs.  Warden  hurried  back  to  her  lodger, 
closed  the  door  behind  her  carefully,  and 
smiled  ever  so  sweetly. 

"I  think  forty  dollars  a  week  would  bo 
right,  my  dear,"  she  said.  "That  would  bo 
one  hundred  and  seventy  for  the  month, 
which  is  only  half  of  the  three  hundred  and 
thirty-three  we  spoko  of.  We  are  perfectly 
willing  to  take  off  half." 

"Mrs.  Warden,  that  three  hundred  and 
thirty-three  ought  to  have  been  divided  by 
thi'ee,"  suggested  Josie,  who  had  been  cii^her- 
ing  in  her  head. 

"Oh,  that  is  nonsense!"  broke  out  Mrs. 
Warden,  confounded  again,  but  none  the 
less  irritated. 

"  It  is  not  nonsense.  There  are  three  of 
us,  are  there  not  ?  And  I  nuist  say  that  it 
is  very  strange  of  you  to  try  to  saddle  the 
whole  expense  of  the  family  upon  me." 

Mrs.  Warden  was  tempted  to  tell  Josie  at 
once  that  she  was  a  bad  woman,  and  that 
she  had  killed  her  aunt  and  uncle,  and  that 
every  body  said  so.  Her  next  impvilse  was 
to  fly  down  stairs  and  refer  this  knotty 
problem  to  Belle,  who,  as  our  readers  have 
doubtless  perceived,  was  her  real  head-piece 
and  counselor  in  times  of  jierplexity.  But, 
remembering  that  that  young  lady's  decis- 
ion had  already  been  given  against  her,  she 
stood  irresolute,  and  only  snapped  her  black 
eyes  at  Josie. 

"I  think  it  is  just  a  piece  of  extortion," 
muttered  the  latter,  jiacking  away  with  hys- 
terical vehemence. 

"  It  is  no  extortion,"  retaliated  Mrs.  War- 
den, her  contralto  voice  bursting  forth  in  its 
deepest  notes  of  indignation.  "It  is  just 
simple  fairness  and  honesty.  And  I  think, 
Mrs.  Murray,  tliat  you  are  not  the  person  to 
j  udge  and  condemn  other  people.  You  make 
trouble  wherever  you  go.  You  worried  your 
l>oor  old  aunt  and  uncle  into  the  grave,  and 
now  you  come  here  to  worry  me  into  mine." 

"What  ridiculous  nonsense!"  exclaimed 


Josie,  very  much  refreshed  and  supported 
by  what  seemed  to  her  the  absurd  injustice 
of  this  accusation.  "My  aunt  and  uncle 
died  because  they  were  superannuated  and 
feeble.  And  as  for  you,  you  look  more  like- 
ly to  murder  somebody  else  than  to  be  killed 
yourself." 

"  That  will  do,  Mrs.  Murray,"  gasped  Mrs. 
Warden,  sitting  suddenly  down  and  pressing 
her  hand  to  her  heart,  as  though  some  great 
physical  pain  had  smitten  her.  "I  have 
nothing  more  to  say  to  you." 

"  I  shall  be  very  happy  to  hear  any  thing 
rational  from  you,"  declared  Josie,  with  the 
cheerfulness  of  conscious  victory. 

After  a  number  of  labored  breaths,  Mrs. 
Warden  murmured  something  about  teu  dol- 
lars a  week.  Josie  i)roduced  her  porte-mon- 
naie,  counted  out  liugeriugly  forty-three  dol- 
lai"s,  and  laid  them  on  a  chair  in  silence. 

]\Irs.  Warden  returned  no  change ;  she  did 
not  know,  indeed,  that  any  was  due ;  sho 
merely  took  the  money  and  sailed  out  of  the 
room.  Once  down  stairs,  she  threw  the  bills 
into  her  daughter's  lap,  and  sobbed  out, 

"  Oh,  that  woman  !  She  has  insulted  mo 
abominably.  Belle,  if  you  go  near  her  she 
will  kill  you." 

Not  in  the  least  believing  this  tremendous 
statement,  but  startled  by  a  fear  (an  old  fear) 
concerning  her  mother's  health,  the  girl 
sprung  up,  passed  her  arm  around  the  crj"- 
ing  woman,  led  her  to  her  bedroom,  and 
made  her  lie  down. 

Half  an  hour  later,  when  a  hack  came  for 
the  departing  lodger,  Mrs.  Warden  jumped 
off  the  bed,  rustled  enthusiastically  into  the 
hall,  threw  her  arms  around  Josie,  and  kissed 
her  violently. 

"I  am  so  sorry  to  have  yon  go!"  she  ex- 
claimed, exactly  as  if  there  had  been  no 
quarrel.     "  I  shall  miss  you  dreadfully." 

"  We  shall  meet  now  and  then,  I  suppose," 
returned  Josie,  who  had  a  sharjier  grief  to 
struggle  with  than  Mrs.  Warden,  and  could 
not  feel  the  parting  very  keenly.  "  Good- 
bye, Belle,"  she  added,  merely  shaking  hands, 
for  it  was  beyond  her  strength  to  embrace 
her  victorious  rival. 

Then  she  left  the  house  with  tears  in  her 
eyes,  tears  of  sorrow  and  also  tears  of  rage. 
Not  to  mention  her  love-trial,  this  was  the 
second  homo  which  she  had  been  driven  from 
within  a  few  weeks,  and  she  felt  that  she 
had  a  right  to  be  angry  with  somebody. 

That  evening,  however,  Sylccs  Drummond 
came  to  see  her,  and  alleviated  the  louesome- 
ness  of  her  new  residence.  Slie  was  quite 
plaintive  with  him  at  lirst,  and  yet  humor- 
ous and  shrewd  withal. 

"  I  am  doomed  to  wander,"  was  one  of  her 
observations.  "I  shall  never  live  long 
enough  in  one  jilace  to  take  root  there,  or 
to  collect  two  trunkfuls  of  baggage.  It  is 
dreadful  to  move ;  at  least,  it  is  dreadful  to 
a  woman  ;  it  is  so  stripping  and  so  vulgariz- 


PLAYING  TIIE  MISCHIEF, 


165 


ing.  It  knocks  off  all  the  knickknacks  and 
decorations  of  life  ;  and  -what  is  life  -vvitUont 
decorations,  to  a  lady  ?  I  bad  just  bcf,nin  to 
deposit  my  sediment,  and  licro  I  am  all  riled 
again.  Just  sco  what  a  cluttered,  ramjia- 
geous,  disgusting  state  this  room  is  in!  I 
didn't  mean  that  you  should  sco  it  until  I 
had  got  it  into  shape.  Yon  had  no  business 
to  rush  up  hero  as  you  did.  What  if  every 
gentleman  should  follow  his  card  on  the 
full  run  in  that  stylo  ?" 

"  I  will  be  house-maid,  or  lady's-maid,  and 
put  yon  to  rights,"  ho  offered,  quite  i)leased 
with  the  chance. 

"  You  mustn't  shut  the  door,"  slio  ordered, 
after  ho  had  closed  and  latched  it.  "  What 
would  people  say  f " 

"How  can  I  move  things  about,  then? 
Let  it  stay  shut.  Don't  you  mean  to  receive 
calls  in  your  room  ?  It  is  common  enough 
in  Washington." 

"If  you  stay,  yon  must  work.  Help  me 
get  up  my  lace  curtains.  I  must  ti'y  to  hide 
these  dowdy,  dusty,  mnsty  draperies.  Put 
a  stool  in  that  chair,  and  climb  up  on  it,  and 
break  your  neck  for  my  sake." 

"  I  would  rather  break  Mr.  Hollowbread's 
neck  for  my  sake  and  yours.  As  for  mount- 
ing that  cricket,  I  shall  drive  it  through  the 
chair." 

"  Then  help  me  up.  I  can  hammer,  and 
yon  can  steady  me." 

He  helped  her  up,  and  he  steadied  her. 
It  was  evidently  very  agitating  and  un- 
steadyiug  business  for  both  of  them.  Drum- 
moud's  muscular  hands  trembled,  and  Josie's 
lovely  face  was  soon  deeply  flushed. 

The  work  went  on  in  silence,  or  with 
only  a  few  hastily  breathed  words,  the  si- 
lence and  the  speech  alike  significaut  of 
emotion. 

Of  a  sudden  Josie  slipped,  uttered  a  little 
cry,  dropped  her  hands  on  the  young  man's 
shoulders,  and  fell  with  her  full  weight  into 
his  arms. 

Enormously  strong,  and  no  doubt  prepared 
for  some  such  collision,  he  received  it  with- 
out staggering,  caught  her  firmly,  let  her 
slowly  to  the  floor,  and  still  held  her. 

"Mr.  Drummond!"  she  gasped,  thorough- 
ly frightened  and  paralyzed,  looking  up  be- 
wildered into  his  fierce  black  eyes,  and  feel- 
ing iucaiiablo  of  resistance,  no  matter  what 
he  did. 

"  You  are  mine,"  he  answered,  in  a  choked, 
hoarse,  scaring  voice.  "  You  must  be  my 
wife." 

And  then  he  began  to  kiss  her  neck  as  if 
he  would  devour  it,  or  at  least  bite  into  it. 

"  Mr.  Drummond — stop !"  she  begged,  for 
she  could  not  command.     "  Oh,  do." 

And  then  she  lost  her  breath,  and  could 
not  even  beg. 

"  AVill  you  promise  to  bo  my  wife  ?"  he 
presently  asked,  bending  her  head  back  over 
his  arm,  and  looking  down  into  her  hot  face 


with  savage  longing  and  domination.  "I 
am  going  to  be  your  husband." 

"Oh,  Sykes! — I  don't  think  I  can — I  sup- 
pose I  must — yes,"  was  the  wonderful  an- 
swer. 

And  so  it  was  done ;  she  was  engaged  to 
two  men  at  once ;  something  uncommon 
even  with  Josie  Murray. 

A  minute  later,  after  she  had  got  looso 
from  hinx  and  recomjiosed  her  trimmings 
and  furbelows,  she  suddenly  burst  out  laugh- 
ing. 

"Hero  I  am  in  a  prctt}'  fix!"  she  said. 
"What  am  I  to  do  with  Mr.  Hollowbread  ?"' 

"  Why,  throw  him  over,'"  answered  Drum- 
mond, somewhat  astonished.  "Give  bim 
his  passports." 

"  ^ly  dear  friend !  I  dare  not.  On  your 
account  I  dare  not.  What  will  become  of 
my  bill?  He  gives  respectability  to  it. 
Just  now  I  dare  not  lose  him." 

There  was  a  long  argument,  but  it  ended 
in  her  having  her  wickedly  sly  way ;  and 
the  fact  shows  not  oulj^  her  powers  of  coax- 
ing and  persuasion,  but  also  Drummond'3 
coarseness  of  feeling. 

"  Very  well,"  he  said,  at  last,  indulging 
for  the  first  time  this  evening  in  his  charac- 
teristic "  haw,  haw !"  "  I  don't  mind  your 
putting  a  joke  on  him.  W^e  will  keep  him 
in  play  until  you  have  got  your  money." 


CHAPTER  XL VIII. 

THE  EXACT  WOKTII  OF  THE  BARX. 

Engaged  as  she  was,  and  engaged  to  two 
men  at  that,  Josie  went  to  sleep  crying  about 
a  third  man,  and  ready  to  kiss  the  darkness 
whenever  she  thought  of  his  name. 

To  lose  that  dearest  one  finally  and  utter- 
ly, and  to  know  that  he  had  given  to  anoth- 
er that  heart  which  she  had  begged  for  in 
vain,  made  up  a  trial  which  was  both  rack 
and  pillory,  both  anguish  and  shame,  even 
to  this  seasoned  coquette.  It  gave  her  more 
suffering  than  she  could  bear  without  win- 
cing out  of  her  usual  character,  and  shying 
into  strange  behavior. 

W^hen  she  awoke  in  the  morning  from  a. 
sleep  of  turmoils,  her  head  aching,  and  her 
nerves  crawling,  and  her  face  so  pallid  that 
she  hated  to  look  at  it,  she  was  not  an  even- 
tempered,  genial  Josie,  and  for  once  she 
wanted  to  wreak  a  vengeance.  Her  feeling 
was  that  somebody  was  always  abusing  her ; 
that  she  was  constantly  being  glowered  at, 
or  flown  at,  or  turned  oft",  or  circumvented  ; 
that  she  had  borne  her  fellow-creatures'  evil 
usage  too  long  with  patience;  that  sweet- 
ness did  no  good,  and  that  sho  must  fight. 
Yes,  she  would  set  to  work  to  hurt  somebody, 
and  in  particular  sho  would  do  a  damage  to 
the  Wardens.  They  had  cut  her  out  and 
tlriven  her  forth  ;  they  had  been  insolent  and 


1G6 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


bad  tried  to  be  extortionate ;  tbey  deserved 
a  bard  settiug-dowu,  if  ever  auy  body  did. 

Wben  sbe  next  saw  Drnmmoud,  sbe  asked 
bim  Tvbere  was  Mrs.  AVardcu's  claim,  aud 
wbat  were  its  cbances. 

"  Tbe  old  girl  bas  been  making  great  bead- 
•way  witb  it  since  ber  daugbter  got  engaged," 
be  replied.  "By  George!  I  begin  to  tbink 
tbat  Bradford  must  be  working  for  ber,"  be 
added,  witbout  noticing  bow  Josie's  lip  quiv- 
ered. "  Tbere's  no  telling.  He  mfl^/ be  belp- 
iug  ber.  Tbe  stillest  cats  lap  tbe  most 
cream.  Or  else  sbe  is  using  bis  cbaracter 
unbeknownst  to  bim.  Anybow,  sbe  bas  got 
ber  swindle  before  my  bonorable  colleagues 
of  tbe  Blood  aud  Tliunder  Committee.  I 
sbouldn't  wonder  if  it  went  tbrougb  on  a 
gun-carriage." 

"  In  tbe  army  bill !"  exclaimed  Josie. 
"Tbat  silly,  impudent  claim  in  tbe  army 
bill !  Wby,  tbere  isn't  tbe  smallest  cbance 
of  its  passing,  and  it  may  call  attention  to 
mine.  Ob,  Sykes,  I  do  wisb  it  could  be  got 
out.  It  may  ruin  me.  Don't  you  tbink  you 
can  get  it  out  ?" 

"I  believe  you  are  rigbt,"  judged  Drum- 
mond.  "Yes,  it  migbt  burt  you.  A  stolen 
borse  will  carry  one  rider  easier  tban  two. 
Well,  I  will  do  my  best  to  assassinate  your 
friend." 

"  Wbat  an  ugly  way  of  putting  it !"  laugb- 
ed  Josie.  "I  wonder  you  didn't  baw  baw 
over  it.  But  you  bave  given  up  tbat  Me- 
pbistopbelian  babit,  and  you  are  very  serv- 
iceable and  sweet,  and  bere  is  a  kiss  for  you, 
on  tbe  tip  of  tbat  finger.  Only  you  ougbt 
to  come  and  see  me  oftcner.  Tbe  idea  of 
winning  a  lady's  band,  and  tben  not  calling 
on  ber  for  two  days !" 

"  If  you  knew  bow  driven  I  am  !"  be  said, 
Tvbile  be  kissed  ber.  "  I  am  at  full  speed, 
body  and  mind,  from  morn  till  dewy  eve ; 
yes,  and  into  tbe  small  bours." 

"And  bow  you  bear  it!"  exclaimed  Josie, 
gazing  witb  admiration  at  bis  stalwart  frame 
and  trooper-like  visage.  "  You  could  wear 
out  a  dozen  ordinary  men,  and  tbe  same 
number  of  extraordinary  women.  Tbere, 
go  and  work  like  a  tiger.  I  am  proud  of 
you." 

Off  be  strode  in  furious  baste,  for  bo  was 
in  reality  terribly  busy.  Tbe  end  of  tbe 
session  was  approacbing,  and  be  bad  a  score 
of  rascally  peas  under  tbimbles,  and  scores 
of  fellow-jugglers  to  guard  against.  So  oc- 
cupied was  be  witb  bis  special  legislations 
tbat  for  tbe  next  tbree  days  be  bad  no  leisure 
to  call  upon  Josie ;  and  it  bad  been  agreed 
between  tbem  tbat  be  sbould  not  speak  to 
ber  at  the  Capitol,  for  fear  of  rousing  Hol- 
lowbread's  suspicions.  Meantime,  tbat  de- 
luded old  gentleman  visited  bis  betrothed 
regularly,  and  was  received  witb  a  cordiality 
beyond  all  praise,  and  got  bis  stated  allow- 
ance of  frugal  caresses. 

At  last  tbe  postman  brought  Josie  an  en- 


velope, addressed  in  Drummond's  handwrit- 
ing. It  contained  only  bis  card,  but  on  it 
was  scrawled  this  cheering  sentence : 
"  The  other  jockey  bas  lost  bis  seat." 
"Mrs.  Warden's  rider  has  bad  a  fall,"  sbe 
laughed,  as  she  tore  tbe  bit  of  pasteboard  to 
liieces. 

She  was  heartily  glad  of  it,  noi  merely 
because  it  seemed  to  burt  ber  lucky  rival, 
Belle,  but  mainly  because  it  helped  herself. 
As  a  rejected  one,  it  was  still  possible  for  ber 
to  bo  malignant,  but  it  was  far  easier  for 
ber  to  be  simply  selfish. 

A  day  or  two  later,  on  the  awful  closing 
day  of  the  session,  sbe  repaired  to  tbe  gal- 
lery of  the  House,  there  to  await  ber  sen- 
tence. Tbe  Apollonian  Beauman,  not  hav- 
ing yet  seen  his  way  clear  to  Portugal, 
amused  himself  by  acting  as  her  escort. 
In  the  balls  she  met  tbe  banking  and  rail- 
roading AUchin,  who  bowed  over  ber  like  a 
man-mountain,  grinned  at  her  as  if  sbe  were 
a  bag  of  specie,  and  hoarsely  murmured  a 
prophecy  of  success. 

"  If  you  will  only  invest  outside  of  poli- 
tics, Mrs.  Murray,  as  wisely  as  you  bave  in- 
vested inside  of  it,  you  will  be  a  millionaire," 
be  smirked.  "  I  shall  look  to  you  for  lessons 
in  finance." 

"If  ever  I  get  any  thing  we  will  take 
care  of  it  together,"  smiled  Josie,  as  sbe 
rustled  away  from  bim. 

"He  would  soon  relieve  you  of  all  busi- 
ness cares,"  whisperedBeauman,  who,  though 
not  a  suitor,  wished  ber  well.  "  Ho  would 
place  your  money  where  you  would  never 
spend  it." 

Then  tbat  sham  Aristides,  Honest  John 
Vane,  encountered  tbem,  and  made  one  of 
tbe  happy  speeches  for  which  be  was  fa- 
mous. An  adi'oit  man  inside  iiolitics,  aud 
a  superficially  courteous  one  in  society,  bo 
frequently  said  things  which  showed  bow 
vulgar  bad  been  bis  starting-point  in  life, 
and  bow  much  more  fat  than  brain  there 
was  in  bis  huge  cranium. 

"I  shall  have  to  pitch  into  you  to-day, 
Sirs.  Murray,"  be  bowed,  with  a  buttery 
smile,  as  if  be  were  saying  something  agreea- 
ble. "  I  hope  sincerely  that  you  won't  take 
it  as  an  expression  of  personal  hostility.  I 
only  object  to  your  claim  for  public  reasons." 

Ho  must  bave  supposed,  judging  from  tbe 
genial,  confiding  way  in  which  be  beamed 
upon  her,  tbat  bo  could  attack  a  woman's 
swindle  and  still  bo  on  good  terms  with  ber. 

"  I  court  investigation,  Mr.  Vane,"  replied 
Josie,  with  praiseworthy  self-counnand  and 
good -humor.  "You  Avill  find  my  affair  in 
the  Judiciary." 

"Oh,  in  the  Jiuliciary!"  returned  Honest 
John,  marveling  at  lier  simplicity,  and  at- 
tributing it  to  feminine  ignorance  of  politics. 
"I  understood  that  it  bad  got  into  tbe  Gen- 
eral Appropriations.  Tben  it  comes  on  this 
morning." 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


1G7 


"What  a  goose!"  innttercd  Josio,  as  slio 
hurried  along.  "  That  big  head  of  his  rc- 
miuds  me  of  those  hirge  safes  Avhicli  one  sees 
exposed  for  sale,  and  which  never  have  any 
monej-  in  them.  I  suppose  his  -wife  has  or- 
dered him  to  attack  my  hill,  and  then  he 
comes  palavering  and  smiling  at  me,  because 
lie  doesn't  -want  to  make  enemies." 

"  Honest  John  asiiires  to  l)e  called  a  Tvatcli- 
dog  of  the  Treasury,"  was  IJeaumau's  expla- 
nation. *'IIc  stays  in  the  fold  and  devours 
a  sheep  every  uight,  and  thcu  bow-wows  at 
whoever  carries  off  a  bone." 

'•'I  wonder  where  ho  has  put  his  own 
jobs,"  said  Josie.  "I  wish  I  could  smash 
every  one  of  them." 

"And  keep  Mrs.  Vaue  from  giving  parties 
—  oh,  no!"  laughed  Beaumau.  "What 
would  the  wives  of  some  Congressracu  do 
if  the  goldeu  stream  of  special  legislation 
should  run  dry  ?  How  economical  and  dull 
Washiugtou  society  would  be !" 

Preseutly  they  were  iu  the  scats  whicli 
^Ir.  Hollowbread  had  managed  to  reserve 
for  them.  There  Josie  remained  for  four 
mortal  hours  without  being  conscious  of  fa- 
tigue. 

She  attracted  much  attention,  and  received 
plenty  of  visitors.  But  they  were  men  only  : 
among  all  the  people  who  were  with  her 
that  day,  there  was  not  one  lady ;  she  had 
not,  just  uow,  a  single  female  iutimate. 

Beauman,  handsome  enough  to  defy  pub- 
lic opinion,  staid  by  her  throughout.  The 
Carolinian  Clavers,  still  holding  her  the  no- 
blest of  her  sex,  drojiped  in  to  i)ay  his  boy- 
ish, chivalrous,  imre-hearted  homage,  and  to 
receive  a  smile  of  intelligent,  appreciative, 
honest  gratitude  for  it. 

The  grand,  gloomy,  and  peculiar  Bray 
kept  at  good  glaring  distance,  being  that 
sort  of  man  who  gets  a  delicious  cup  of 
wrath  out  of  rejected  love.  Various  others, 
whom  this  story  has  not  had  occasion  to 
nieutiou,  happened  along  from  time  to  time 
with  words  of  civility  or  gallantry. 

Not  a  quarter  of  an  hour  passed  without 
bringing  its  two  or  three  or  more  of  bowing, 
smirking,  cajoling  gentlemen.  Pickens  Rig- 
don  came  to  support  her  with  the  stimulus 
of  his  high-flavored  breath,  and  to  inform 
her,  incidentally,  that  Stubb's  old  white- 
wheat  whisky  was  the  best  brand  in  the 
market. 

Senator  Ironman,  who  had  likewise  daw- 
dled into  the  House  and  caught  sight  of  her 
from  the  floor,  sent  up  a  page  with  a  flatter- 
ing message  and  a  bouquet. 

This  coming  and  going  of  callers  excited 
much  staring,  notwithstanding  the  noisy 
turmoil  of  law-making  below.  People  from 
the  country  imagined  that  our  heroine  must 
be  an  ambassador's  wife,  or  a  duchess,  or  an 
actress.  She  was  the  envy  of  scores  of 
ladies  who  did  not  know  her,  and,  what  la 
more  pity,  of  scores  who  did. 


Mrs.  John  Vane,  sitting  almost  unattend- 
ed near-by,  glared  and  sneered  and  i)outed 
and  tossed,  and  at  last  sailed  angrily  out  of 
the  gallery.  Had  she  known  that  Ironman 
had  sent  Josie  that  bouquet,  and  that  her 
husband  had  essayed  his  dull  best  to  be  civ- 
il to  her,  she  would  have  given  those  gen- 
tlemen a  piece  of  her  mind,  meauiug  not  her 
intellect,  but  her  temper. 

Her  vacant  seat  was  greedily  seized  by  an 
odd-looking  man,  whom  the  strangers  jires- 
ent  stared  at  in  unspeakable  bewilderment, 
but  who  was  known  to  all  Washingtonians 
as  Squire  Kaucy  Appleyard.  Squire  Nancy 
glowered  at  Josio  with  hate,  and  then  gazed 
down  into  the  cocki)it  below  with  love. 

Drummond  was  there,  fighting  gallantly 
on  his  dunghill  of  Special  Legislation,  and 
sending  forth  his  brazen  cock-a-doodle-doo 
defiantly.  She  was  ready  to  wave  applause 
at  him  if  he  chanced  to  turn  her  way,  and 
then  ready  to  hiss  him  if  he  turned  in  the 
direction  of  Josie  Murray.  She  hoped  every 
moment  that  he  would  look  up  at  her,  and 
the  stony  monster  never  looked  up  at  her 
once. 

Behind  Sfpiire  Appleyard,  wedged  into, 
aud  almost  hidden  by,  the  listening  crowd, 
sat  a  lady  so  thickly  A'eiled  that  it  was  im- 
l)Ossible  to  see  her  face.  This  domino  in  tis- 
sue was  the  prospective  mother-in-law  of  the 
Honorable  Edgar  Bradford. 

Yc-s,  there  was  Mrs.  Warden,  still  hoping 
that  her  claim  would  survive,  and  lirooding 
over  it  as  the  mother  of  Moses  watched  the 
ark  of  bulrushes.  The  promise  to  Bradford 
counted  for  naught  with  a  woman  whom 
nature  had  fitted  for  a  claim-hunter  by  an 
abundant  dose  of  extravagance,  and  whom 
four  years  of  lobbying  had  ripened  into  a 
monomaniac.  So  completely  was  she  dis- 
guised that  Josie  only  recoguized  her  by  a 
ftimiliar  gesture  or  movement  of  fatigue  aud 
impatience.  It  was  an  unpleasant  recogni- 
tion ;  it  put  our  heroine  in  mind  of  her  one 
sharp  disappointment  in  love  ;  and  diu'ing 
one  moment  she  gasped  for  breath,  and  want- 
ed to  get  out  of  the  gallery.  No  doubt,  also, 
Mrs.  Warden  saw  her,  and  gnawed  her  bitter 
nail  at  that  surrounding  of  admirers,  and 
tried  to  console  herself  by  remembering 
Belle's  engagement. 

With  what  emotions  must  these  two  wom- 
en haA'O  listened  to  Bradford  when  ho  ob- 
tained the  floor  for  ten  minutes,  and  made  a 
violent  onslaught  upon  the  whole  system  of 
special  legislation !  The  immediate  cause 
of  his  philippic  was  a  "rider"  which  had 
been  tacked  to  the  Judiciary  bill,  awarding 
a  million  or  so  of  damages  to  a  speculator 
who  had  forfeited  a  mail  contract.  He  de- 
nounced not  only  this  particular  roguery, 
but  all  other  similar  abuses  of  the  enacting 
power. 

"  The  treasury  is  plundered  and  the  gener- 
al body  of  tax-jiayers  is  defrauded  every  ses- 


163 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


Biou  for  the  benefit  of  private  schemers  and 
of  business  corporations,"  he  declared.  "  The 
sums  squandered  in  this  manner  every  year 
range  from  ten  millions  \i]}  to  fifty  millions. 
A  single  railroad  has  taken  forty  millions  at 
one  swoop,  and  another  is  laying  its  plans  for 
securing  as  much  more.  There  are  scores,  if 
one  may  not  say  hundreds,  of  men  in  Wash- 
ington who  live  by  devising  and  pushing 
bills  of  which  the  end  is  theft  and  the  means 
bribery.  There  are  members  of  Congress 
whose  chief  and  almost  sole  labor  it  is  to 
earn  these  bribes  and  abet  these  thefts. 
There  are  members  whose  dishonorable  per- 
quisites amount  yearly  to  fifty  thousand  and 
a  hundred  thousand  dollars  each.  Congres- 
sional legislation  will  soon  be  a  synonym  for 
corruption,  not  only  throughout  this  coun- 
try, but  throughout  the  world.  If  we  do  not 
wish  to  see  rexiublican  institutions  discred- 
ited ;  if  we  do  not  wish  to  see  their  spread 
arrested,  and  perhaps  turned  to  collapse ;  if 
we  do  not  wish  to  see  the  industrial  prosper- 
ity of  our  native  land  impeded  and  stum- 
bled, we  must  proceed  at  once  to  combat  this 
extravagant,  unjust,  and  dishonest  wasteful- 
ness; we  must  check  it,  we  must  extirpate 
it,  we  must  render  it  impossible. 

"  Legislation  for  the  benefit  of  individuals 
or  corporations  ought  to  be  done  away  with 
and  put  beyond  the  power  of  Congress.  A 
Court  of  Claims  should  adjudicate  upon'all 
claims  of  damage,  all  demands  for  relief  be- 
cause of  losses  incurred  in  the  iinblic  serv- 
ice, all  financial  questions  between  the  citizen 
and  the  Government.  The  President  should 
have  the  right  of  veto  over  every  separate 
section  of  each  bill,  while  approving  of  the 
remaining  sections.  There  is  no  possibility 
of  reform  and  honesty  short  of  these  radical 
and  sweeping  precautions.  As  long  as  men 
have  the  power  to  rob  the  public  treasury, 
they  can  be  coaxed  or  bribed  to  rob  it.  I 
give  gentlemen  notice  that  I  do  not  mean  to 
cease  urging  this  matter.  I  have  introduced 
a  bill  to  put  an  end  to  special  legislation, 
and  it  has  been  consigned  to  the  limbo  of 
waste  paper,  but  not  to  forgetfulness.  So 
long  as  I  remain  a  member  of  this  House,  it 
will  continue  to  re-appear  from  its  tomb  and 
to  demand  attention."' 

Amidst  a  hum  of  voices — the  mere  disorder- 
ly hum  of  miscellaneous  conversation  —  he 
resumed  his  seat.  There  had  been  the  same 
hum  all  over  the  House  during  his  whole 
speech,  and  it  had  decidedly  increased  in 
loudness  from  the  moment  that  his  object 
became  manifest. 

"  They  don't  seem  to  have  heard  him  at 
all,"  murmured  the  palpitating  Josie,  turning 
to  Beauman. 

"Many  of  them  would  rather  not  hear 
him,"  was  the  answer.  "He  hit  too  many 
birds  with  his  stone." 

"  Do  you  think  he  spoke  well  ?  I  didn't 
like  him  as  much  a.s  I  expected  to." 


"After  that,  how  can  I  praise  him  ?  Per- 
haps he  was  a  little  too  lofty  and  solemn. 
But  I  suppose  he  feels  his  subject,  and  then 
he  had  to  say  much  in  little.  I  must  insist, 
moreover,  that  he  told  some  abominable 
truths." 

Josie  struggled  to  suppress  a  sigh  of 
discouragement.  Every  body  whose  good 
opinion  she  cared  for  seemed  to  be  against 
her  at  heart.  Every  body  who  was  morally 
any  body  looked  askance  upon  claim-hunt- 
ing. 

"He  has  beaten  this  job,"  resumed  Beau- 
man.  "  His  motion  has  been  seconded  and 
carried.  The  mail  contractors  swindle  is 
dead." 

"That  is  rough  on  Honest  John  Yane," 
laughed  Senator  Pickens  Rigdon,  who  was 
breathing  his  old  white-wheat  whisky  over 
Mrs.  Murray's  shoulder.  "  It  was  John's 
richest  lode  for  this  session." 

"  Oh,  I  am  so  glad !"  exclaimed  Josie,  re- 
ally quite  jolly  over  Vane's  defeat,  though 
frightened  all  the  more  for  herself. 

"  There  goes  Vane  on  his  legs,"  added 
Beauman.  "  Can  it  be  that  he  has  cheek 
enough  to  demand  a  reconsideration  ?" 

"  No,"  said  Eigdon.  "  The  Judiciary  Bill 
is  up  now.  There,  do  you  hear  him?  There 
is  brass!  'Sound  the  loud  timbrel  o'er 
Egypt's  dark  sea.'  He  is  supporting  Brad- 
ford ;  denouncing  special  legislation,  like  Sa- 
tan rebuking  sin  ;  going  for  somebody  else's 
job.  By  George,  Mrs.  Murray,  he  is  pitching 
into  you !" 

"He  said  he  should,"  gasped  Josie,  ti'em- 
bling  all  over,  and  forgetting  in  her  terror 
that  her  claim  was  not  in  the  Judiciary. 

Honest  John  showed  as  bold  and  smiling 
a  front  as  if  he  had  not  just  been  beaten  out 
of  a  villainous  swindle  ;  and  in  his  common- 
place, ungrammatieal,  slangy  way  he  made  a 
really  fair  speech,  or,  as  he  would  have  call- 
ed it,  an  eftbrt.  He  was  bombastically  se- 
vere on"  under-ground  legislation," and  dully 
facetious  on  "  one  -  horse  bills,"  alluding  to 
Josie's  roasted  chargers. 

When  he  had  finished,  General  Bangs 
made  a  retort  in  kind,  which  brought  down 
the  House.  He  vindicated  the  right  of  the 
poor  and  lowly  citizen  —  the  sutierer  who 
had  not  the  means  to  sue  an  unjust  govern- 
ment in  court — to  appear  by  his  repi-esent- 
ative  before  the  bar  of  his  country,  and  de- 
mand, without  expense,  his  lost  property. 
As  for  the  bill  in  question,  he  declared  that 
it  was  "  a  two-horse  bill,  with  a  big  dog  un- 
der the  wagon,"  a  stroke  of  humor  which 
set  two  hundred  Congressmen  iu  a  roar. 
Finally  he  stated  that  this  claim  was  not  in 
the  Judiciary  appropriation,  and  closed  with 
repeating  the  ancient  history  of  the  potash- 
kettle  which  was  paid  for,  Avhich  was  re- 
turned, and  which  was  never  borrowed. 

There  was  renewed  legislative  liilarity, 
and  honest  John  Vane  looked  up  wrathfully 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


169 


at  Mrs.  Murray,  Tvondering  whether  she  had 
phiycd  a  trick  ou  him,  or  had  simply  bhin- 
dt'red.  But  ho  was  completely  s'luelchcd 
for  the  time,  and  had  uo  more  to  say  cou- 
cerning  her  affairs. 

Thus  law-making  went  on  for  hours  amidst 
a  monstrous  and  confounding  hubbub,  mem- 
bers shouting  aiul  almost  lighting  for  the 
iloor,  the  majority  engaged  in  nearly  contiu- 
Tious  conversation,  and  the  Speaker's  ham- 
mer whacking  through  all.  Meantime  Mr. 
Jake  Pike  was  dodging  about  tlio  legislative 
machine,  and  pulling  his  rascally  wires. 

When  the  Army  Hill  camo  up,  an  unex- 
pected helper  made  his  task  the  easier.  Mrs. 
Warden,  supposing  her  appropriation  to  bo 
therein,  and  fearing  the  opposition  of  her 
future  son-in-law,  devised  a  plan  for  carry- 
ing him  off  the  scene. 

She  struggled  out  of  the  gallery,  crammed 
her  veils  into  her  pockets,  ran  down  to  the 
door  of  the  hall,  disiiatehcd  a  page  for  Brad- 
ford, dragged  him  aside  to  talk  of  feigned 
business,  and  kept  him  as  long  as  babble 
could  do  it. 

Just  then,  too,  Mr.  Jake  Pike  so  managed 
matters  as  to  bring  John  Vane  into  the  lob- 
by and  involve  him  in  a  long  discussion  with 
his  disappointed  mail  contractor. 

During  this  interval  the  Army  Bill  was 
gabbled  over  in  the  House.  There  was  a 
great  confusion,  or  rather  it  seemed  to  bo  a 
great  confusion  to  Josie,  who  was  in  some- 
thing like  a  nightmare.  At  last  Bcaumau 
turned  to  her  with  a  smile,  shook  her  by  the 
hand,  and  said, 

"  Kemembcr  mo  in  your  will!" 


CHAPTER  XLIX. 


jnSERERE. 


Great  had  been  the  amazement  and  con- 
sternation of  Mr.  Hollowbread  when  he 
found  that  Josie's  swindle  was  not  among 
the  appropriations  for  carrying  ou  the  jus- 
tice of  his  couutrj-. 

He  hastened  over  to  Bangs  as  soon  as  ho 
thought  he  could  do  so  without  attracting 
notice,  and  asked  in  an  excited  whisper  and 
with  an  unaccustomed  oath  where  his  sec- 
tion had  gone  to. 

"Ah,  precisely,"  answered  the  general, 
when  ho  could  be  brought  to  pretend  to 
remember  what  his  friend  was  talking  of. 
"  Mrs.  Murray's  little  joker  ?  Well,  Jake 
Pike  is  taking  care  of  it.  You  had  better 
stand  by  the  armj'." 

Excessively  angry  and  humiliated  ;  angry 
at  Bangs  and  at  Jake  Pike,  and  at  whomso- 
ever had  inspired  them  to  this  impertinence  ; 
humiliated  by  the  fact  that  the  claim  should 
be  taken  out  of  his  hands  without  even  con- 
sulting him  or  warning  him;  in  such  a  tur- 
moil of  emotion  that  his  very  springs  and 


surcingles  throbbed  with  it,  Mr.  Hollow- 
bread  returned  to  his  seat  and  stood  by  the 
army. 

Meanwhile  he  dared  not  call  on  his  client 
and  explain  nuvttcrs  to  her,  or,  rather,  be- 
seech an  explanation.  Ho  simply  sat  con- 
founded, heard  tho  Murray  appropriatiou 
enumerated  among  tho  defenses  of  tho  re- 
public, and  speechlessly  voted  for  it. 

Not  until  tho  business  was  settled  and 
tho  liouse  had  taken  up  its  next  bill  did  ho 
dare  to  steal  into  tho  gallery  and  congratu- 
late Josic.  He  had  supposed  that  she  would 
not  be  grateful  to  him,  and  had  feared  that 
she  might  be  fault-liuding  and  scornful.  Ou 
tho  contrary,  she  was  all  sunshine,  smiles, 
thanks,  compliments,  content,  and  joy.  She 
had  never  looked  prettier  *)r  more  loving 
than  when  she  leaned  forward  with  flushed 
fiico  and  sparkling  eyes,  pressed  his  hand, 
and  whispered, 

"  Isn't  it  nice  f ' 

He  decided  that  he  would  ask  no  ques- 
tions then,  and  he  went  back  a  relieved, 
happy  man  to  his  arm-chair,  hoping  to  vote 
honestly  for  the  rest  of  tho  session. 

In  the  halls  ho  passed  Mrs.  Warden,  rus- 
tling hastily  to  and  fro,  flurried  and  eager. 
Was  her  appropriation  in  the  Army  Bill  ? 
she  bluntly  and  excitedly  asked  him.  When 
he  replied  courteotisly  that  he  regretted  not 
to  have  noticed  it  there,  she  turned  away 
from  him  abruptly  and  ran  after  some  other 
legislator. 

AVe  can  imagine  the  poor  woman  pursuing 
her  inquiries,  tremulously  fearing  lest  all 
had  gone  wrong,  yet  wildly  hoping  that  all 
had  gone  right.  One  godsend  had  befallen 
during  tho  day,  which  at  any  other  time 
would  have  made  her  happy.  She  liad  re- 
ceived a  check  for  one  thousand  dollars  from 
Colonel  Murray,  with  a  note  begging  her  to 
use  tho  money  for  Belle's  wedding  outfit. 
Tho  check  she  had  deposited  as  she  camo  to 
tho  House,  and  there  it  was  in  bank  to  her 
credit,  disiielling  many  anxieties. 

But  what  was  a  check  for  a  thousand,  if 
the  Army  Bill  did  not  contain  her  section, 
and  she  had  lost — yes,  lost — a  fortune  1  Her 
calamity  was  too  monstrous  to  be  believed, 
although  many  people  assured  her  of  it. 
She  would  hope  on  until  morning,  and  then 
read  her  opulence  in  the  printed  record. 

Tho  night  passed  over  her,  but  not  on 
wings  of  balm.  With  that  uneasy  heart  of 
hers  beating  so  strangely,  and  that  flighty 
head  fluttering  through  so  many  reveries,  id 
was  not  easy  to  sleep.  For  hours  no  rest, 
but  only  a  perpetual  tossing,  feverish  and 
full  of  pain.  Hour  after  hour  sho  counted 
the  strokes  of  tho  church  clocks,  first  one 
and  then  another — counted  them  fretfully, 
forebodingly,  and  gloomily,  as  if  they  were 
tolliugs  for  the  dead.  She  would  have  soughs 
unconsciousness  in  chloroform  or  in  opiates, 
but  she  had  a  sombre  reason  for  dreading 


170 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


them — a  reason  of  wLicli  she  never  spoke. 
That  ngly  heart-beat,  "which  more  than  any- 
thing else  kept  her  awake,  was  the  well- 
known  symptom  of  an  old  disease. 

At  last  a  sweet,  warm  delusion,  a  waking 
agitation  which  was  like  a  delightful  dream, 
stole  to  her  pityingly  and  soothed  her.  It 
was  a  feverish  delirium,  hut  it  was  as  cheer- 
ing as  wine.  She  had  a  feeling  of  success 
and  triumph,  like  one  intoxicated  with 
Champagne.  She  had  won  ;  she  was  rich, 
very  rich ;  she  was  happy,  perfectly  happy. 
Trusting  that  so  it  would  be  in  the  morning, 
she  slipped  with  many  starts  into  slumber. 

On  waking  she  found  herself  unusually 
jaded  and  pallid,  Avhile  her  mind  was  so 
confused  and  numbed  that  she  could  hardly 
apply  it  to  the  most  common  purj)oses,  such 
as  the  task  of  dressing.  The  events  of  the 
previous  day  came  back  to  her  with  such 
difficulty,  and  so  dimly,  that  it  seemed  as  if 
they  had  not  happened. 

Once  it  struck  her  that  she  was  like  a 
dead  person,  trying  almost  in  vain  to  re- 
member the  by-gone  life.  She  half  trusted 
that  there  had  been  no  day  before ;  that  she 
had  only  dreamed  its  futile  hopes  and  dis- 
appointments ;  that  her  final  struggle  for 
wealth  was  yet  to  come.  She  recollected 
the  cheerfulness  with  which  she  had  fallen 
asleep  ;  but  it  had  vanished  now,  and  could 
not  be  made  to  return.  Languid,  aching 
from  head  to  foot,  unable  to  think  consecu- 
tively, unable  even  to  handle  things  aright, 
and  utterljr  depressed  in  spirit,  she  slowly 
finished  her  attiring. 

Then  she  sat  down  to  rest,  breathing  rap- 
idly and  laboriously,  like  one  who  has  been 
pursued. 

After  a  time  she  took  a  check  from  her 
table,  and  filled  it  out  for  the  one  thousand 
dollars  in  bank,  making  it  payable  to  her 
daughter.  Three  checks  were  used  before 
this  could  be  done ;  she  spoiled  the  first  two 
by  errors  in  writing  or  signing.  Then, 
picking  up  the  paper  with  a  trembling  hand, 
she  carried  it  down  stairs  and  gave  it  to 
Belle. 

"What  is  this  for,  mamma  ?"  asked  the 
girl,  with  disquietude.  "  I  don't  like  to  take 
it.  I  want  you  to  spend  the  money  for  me. 
Of  course  the  colonel  expected  that.  Mam- 
ma, I  will  not  take  it." 

"Don't  be  so  silly!"  said  Mrs.  Warden, 
pettishly.  "  I  would  rather  have  the  money 
lie  in  your  name.     I  insist  upon  it." 

"  Mamma — are  you  unwell  ?" 

"Do  stop,  Belle!  I  hate  such  foolish 
questions,"  responded  the  ailing  woman,  with 
downright  asperity.  "I  never  can  do  any 
tiling  my  own  way  but  you  go  to  supposing 
that  I  am  sick." 

To  quiet  her,  the  daughter  gave  way,  and 
silently  put  the  check  in  her  i)ockct. 

"Has  the  Kewsmongcr  come?"  demanded 
Mrs.  Warden. 


"  No.  Somebody  must  have  stolen  it. 
But  do  sit  down  and  take  some  breakfast." 

"Jane!"  called  Mrs.  Warden,  in  loud  irri- 
tation. "Where  is  that  lazy  blackamoor? 
Jane,  what  did  you  let  the  Keivsmoiiger  get 
stolen  for?  Why  don't  you  get  up  earlier? 
There,  take  that  money  and  run  out  and  buy 
one." 

She  was  sipping  her  coffee  in  silence,  and 
had  not  yet  tasted  a  mouthful  of  food,  when 
the  servant  returned  with  her  favorite  jour- 
nal. 

"  Mamma,  let  me  read  it  to  you,"  implored 
Belle.     "  I  want  you  to  eat." 

"  Oh,  Belle,  you  worry  my  life  out  of  me  !" 
said  Mrs.  Warden,  snatching  eagerly  at  the 
Kewsmonger.  "  K  there  is  any  good  news, 
I  want  to  find  it  myself." 

"  Good  news !  W^hat  good  news  ?"  asked 
the  daughter,  suspecting  at  once  that  the 
claim  was  meant,  and  flushing  deeply. 

Mrs.  Warden  replied  not,  but  read  on 
greedily,  her  face  likewise  deeply  flushed, 
and  her  eyes  angry.  Of  a  sudden  she  found 
what  she  sought ;  there  was  a  look  of  ago- 
nizing anxiety  and  longing ;  then  she  turn- 
ed as  pale  as  a  corpse,  and  dropjied  the  pa- 
per. She  hud  read  her  sentence  of  disa^i- 
pointmeut — her  sentence  of  death! 

"Mamma !  mamma !"  shrieked  Belle,  spring- 
ing np  and  running  to  her;  but  before  she 
could  reach  the  stricken  woman  the  tragedy 
was  over.  Mrs.  Warden  had  clutched  her 
hands  to  her  heart,  and  rolled  out  of  her 
chair  upon  the  floor,  perfectly  dead ! 

We  will  x^ass  over  the  remainder  of  this 
scene ;  the  nature  of  it  is  only  too  easily 
imagined. 

Some  hours  later  Bradford  found  in  the 
Kewsmonger  the  following  passage,  deeply 
marked  by  finger-nails,  as  if  in  auger  or  in 
agony: 

"Among  the  notorious  jobs  which  re- 
ceived their  quietus  during  the  closing  bom- 
bardment of  the  session  was  the  so-called 
Commodore  John  Saul  Hooker  claim,  a  ven- 
erable seventy-four,  rated  at  eighty  thousand 
dollars,  and  not  carrying  a  cent.  Report 
says  that  it  was  warped  into  the  Army  Bill, 
a  week  since,  by  the  personal  exertions  of 
the  proprietor,  and  sent  adrift  again,  only 
two  days  later,  to  make  room  for  a  newer' 
and  prettier  rover  of  the  seas  of  legislation. 
What  is  certain  is  that  it  failed  to  put  in  an 
appearance,  and  so  has  once  more  gone  to 
the  bow-wows,  let  us  hope,  forever." 

"  Thatreads  like  Shorthand's  work,"  judged 
Bradford.  "And  yet  it  probably  tells  the 
truth.  How  could  she  break  ihat  promise? 
— poor  woman !" 

He  could  hardly  regret  her,  and  but  for 
Belle  ho  would  not  have  ])itied  her,  so  severo 
is  a  soul  of  a  single  virtue.     It  was  snbstan-  ^ 
tially  this  young  man's  moral  code, that  peo- 
ple who  tell  lies,  and  people  who  try  to  getJ' 


PLAYING  THE  mSCHIEF. 


171 


money  dislionestly,  arc  the  great  sinners,  and 
almost  the  only  sinners,  of  earth. 

But  ho  was  building  just  now  better  tlian 
lie  know.  He  was  gathering  some  fresh 
Bweetness  and  nobleness  into  his  heart  by 
dint  of  using  it;  he  was  filling  much  empty 
comb  of  liis  nature  with  the  honey  of  sym- 
l^athy. 

It  astonished  him,  certainly,  to  find  that 
Belle  grieved  passionately  over  the  loss  of 
ber  false  and  frivolous  mother;  to  find  that 
a,  girl  who  Avas  npright  and  truthful  and 
wise  could  love  a  woman  who  was  a  sharp- 
er, a  fibber,  and  practically  a  fool ;  to  find 
that  a  noble  nature  could,  like  a  kittenish 
cue,  respond  with,  affection  to  the  affection 
of  the  unworthy. 

But  he  adored  Belle  all  the  more  for  her 
sorrow,  and  did  his  love-lorn  best  to  comfort 
her,  and  so  enlarged  his  limited  moral  boun- 
daries and  sweetened  his  spirit.  There  was 
possibility  of  a  far  better  and  more  beautiful 
life  in  liim  than  he  had  lived  yet.  There  was 
a  chance  of  his  existing  for  others,  in  heart 
as  well  as  in  mind,  for  their  sake  as  well  as 
for  his  own. 

We  can  grant  but  a  brief  and  desultory 
hearing  to  the  conversations  of  Belle  and 
Bradford.  Every  one  can  imagine  how  con- 
solation is  given  by  a  man  full  of  affection 
to  a  woman  who  craves  that  affection  and 
returns  it. 

A  head  laid  on  a  shoulder,  a  kiss  falling 
upon  a  forehead,  a  tear  wiped  gently  away, 
murmurs  of  pity  and  constancy,  answering 
murmurs  of  gratitude,  all  these  things  are 
easily  imagined. 

In  such  interviews  broken  sentences  and 
detached  words  suffice.  The  heart  fills  up 
the  intervals,  and  says  more  than  lips  could 
utter,  and  hears  tendernesses  unspoken. 

"  I  must  beg  your  forgiveness  for  my  poor 
mother,"  said  Belle,  in  one  of  her  calmer  mo- 
ments. "  She  broke  her  promise  to  you. 
But  the  claim  was  a  monomania  with  her; 
she  was  almost  irresponsible  on  the  subject. 
You  must  pardon  her  memory." 

"  I  do.  For  your  sake,  and  for  hers  also. 
It  was  for  you,  much  more  than  for  herself, 
that  she  was  fighting.  So  I  believe  now, 
although  there  was  a  time  when  I  did  not 
think  of  that,  and  judged  her  hardly." 

"  She  thought  it  all  so  necessary !  From 
lior  point  of  view  it  was  the  case  of  a  mother 
seizing  a  loaf  for  her  starving  child." 

"  One  is  tempted  to  bo  angry  at  those  Avho 
stand  in  the  way  of  such  a  loving  theft." 

"  I  suppose  some  ono  stood  in  the  way  of 
this,"  murmured  Belle.  She  suspected  her 
betrothed  of  being  that  one,  for  the  scoffing 
passage  in  the  Kensmonricr,  with  its  hint  at 
Josie  Murray,  had  been  kept  from  her.  "  I 
do  not  condemn  him,  whoever  he  was,"  she 
added.     "  Xo  doubt  I  ought  to  praise  him." 

"  It  was  a  woman — at  least  report  says 
BO,"  answered  Bradford,  who  did  not  care  to 


shield  Josio  from  blame,  and  who,  indeed, 
liad  come  to  abhor  her.  "  It  is  supposed  to 
have  been  your  late  lodger." 

"Josio  Murray!  You  astonish  me.  I 
would  not  liavo  thouglither  to  be  malicious. 
I  did  consider  her — ought  I  to  say  it? — un- 
principled. But  this  looks  lilce  revenge, 
and  I  never  judged  lier  Ijad-temperod.  You 
must  know  that  there  had  been  causes  of 
(juarrel.  She  and  mamma  had  some  words, 
and  I  think  she  was  vexed  at  going  away, 
and,  in  short,  it  was  an  uiiiileasiuit  i)arting. 
But  even  yet — well,  it  is  hard  to  talk  about 
it — I  don't  know  what  to  say." 

Belle  was  stammering  by  this  time.  A 
recollection  and  a  sudilen  suspicion  made 
the  subject  a  delicate  and  daunting  one  to 
her.  She  remembered  tliat  Josic  had  been 
in  love  with  her  love,  and  she  guessed,  from  a 
change  in  his  face,  that  he,  too,  might  know 
of  it. 

Of  course  he  did  call  the  now  displeasing 
fact  to  mind ;  and,  as  he  wanted  to  hide  his 
consciousness,  he  turned  cool  and  analytic. 

"  I  doubt  her  malignity,"  he  said.  "  I 
don't  believe  her  capable  of  any  deep  or 
long-winded  passion.  A  monkey  who  sees 
another  monkey  about  to  seize  a  cocoa-nut 
might  push  him  off  the  branch  and  break 
his  neck,  all  without  the  least  hard  feeling 
as  well  as  without  compunction,  aud  think- 
ing of  nothing  but  the  cocoa-nut.  That,  I 
take  it,  is  just  Josie  Murray.  Well,  she  has 
got  her  cocoa-nut,"  he  added,  willing  to 
change  the  topic.  "  She  is  worth  one  hun- 
dred thousand  dollars,  deducting  her  com- 
missions to  the  lobby." 

"  I  don't  envy  her,"  answered  Belle,  for 
whom  this  subject  of  her  rival — the  woman 
who  might  have  stood  in  her  place — had  a 
fascination.  "I  don't  know  but  that  I  pity 
her.  Yes,  I  do  pity  her,  and  sincerely.  With 
all  her  beauty  and  cleverness,  it  seems  to  me 
that  nobody  really  loves  her — at  least,  not 
long.  She  throws  away  her  chances — as  fine 
chances  as  a  woman  could  easily  have — and 
all  for  the  sake  of  novelties.  It  is  the  bird 
in  the  bush  that  ruins  her." 

"  She  is  frivolous  and  selfish,"  pronounced 
Bradford.  "  She  has  a  great  power,  and  sho 
abuses  it.  She  is  an  egotistic  tyrant,  and 
gets  a  tyrant's  measure  of  loyalty.  If  sho 
should  win  a  man,"  he  added,  thinking  of  his 
own  escape,  "  and  if  she  should  even  lovo 
him,  sho  would  soon  tire  of  him.  I  take  it 
that  a  beautiful  woman's  greatest  tempta- 
tion is  inconstancy.  Josie  Murray  does  not 
even  try  to  resist  it." 

"  She  is  engaged  to  Mr.  Hollowbread,  and 
ho  is  infatuated  with  her." 

"Well,  sho  will  break  his  heart,  if  he  has 
one  that  is  breakable." 

"Oh,  my  dear,  what  a  wicked  world  it 
is!"  sighed  Belle,  to  whom  the  breaking  of 
loving  hearts  seemed  the  greatest  of  crimes. 

"And  how  much  too  good  you  are  for  it!''. 


172 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


he  replied,  doiug  ber  reverence  Tvitli  all  his 
soul. 

"You  must  not  think  me  so  good.  You 
■will  be  disappointed.     You  frighten  me." 

"You  know  wbat  I  mean.  I  worship 
you !" 


CHAPTER  L. 


MR.  HOLLOWBREAD  IN  THE  BOSPHORI'S. 

On  the  closing  night  of  the  session,  on 
that  carnival  night  of  confused,  headlong, 
blinded,  bedlamite  legislation,  •which  costs 
the  tax-payer  so  dear,  Mr.  HoUowbread  went 
to  bed  from  his  protracted  vigils  and  labors 
with  aching  loins  and  a  dizzy  sconce. 

Next  morning  he  was  absolutely  driven  to 
get  himself  together  with  a  cocktail  before 
he  could  rouse  appetite  enough  to  so  much 
as  nibble  at  a  belated  breakfast. 

But  love  is  the  greatest  of  stimulants  ;  it 
beats  hate,  it  beats  avarice,  it  beats  whisky  ; 
it  can  make  the  sexagenarian  arise  and  walk. 
Long  before  noon,  our  mature  and  indeed 
overripe  Congressman  was  tripping  into  the 
apartments  of  his  betrothed.  We  say  apart- 
ments, and  we  mean  the  plural  word  in  all 
its  sumptuousuess. 

Josie  had  lost  no  time  in  forestalling  her 
money,  and  had  enlarged  her  boundaries 
that  very  morning.  It  was  into  a  handsome 
private  parlor  that  Mr.  HoUowbread  was 
ushered. 

He  came  in  all  the  splendor  which  modern 
fashion  concedes  to  a  gentleman — even  to  a 
youthful  one.  The  modeling  of  sartorial  art 
and  the  coloring  of  tousorial  art  had  done 
their  daintiest  by  him.  Positively  he  did 
not  appear  to  be  corpulent,  although  he  was 
normally  five  feet  around  his  equator. 

Josie,  after  an  approving  glance  at  his 
mustache  and  hair,  was  upon  the  point  of 
saying,  "  How  young  you  look !"  but  it  oc- 
curred to  her  that  when  a  man  dyed  as  nice- 
ly as  that,  it  was  ungracious  to  call  atten- 
tion to  it ;  and  so  what  compliments  she 
tendered  him  were  wrapped  ui>  in  a  smile, 
like  honhons  in  silver  tissue. 

There  was  a  kiss,  too  ;  but  it  was  not  of 
her  devising  or  doing,  nor  did  it  fall  on  the 
spot  which  he  had  picked  out  for  it.  Ho 
aimed  it  at  her  precious,  precious  lips,  and 
she  caught  it  on  her  noble,  noble  forehead. 
Mr.  HoUowbread  did  not  find  that  forepicce 
hard,  nor  did  he  think  in  a  ghastly  way  of 
the  skull  within,  as  a  less  love-lorn  man 
might  have  done.  But  it  did  seem  to  him 
tliat  when  he  returned  from  political  wars  a 
victor,  after  long  and  laljorious,  not  to  say 
dirty,  campaigning  on  her  account,  he  ought 
to  have  had  a  tenderer  salute.  It  was  no 
comfort  to  say,  the  nearer  the  bono  the  sweet- 
er the  meat ;  and  indeed  he  did  not  so  much 
as  think  of  the  vulgar,  carnal  phrase.     He 


had  been  received  coolly,  and  he  knew  it, 
and  was  alarmed. 

"  You  are  satisfied  and  happy,  I  hope  V  he 
said,  with  an  humble  smile,  which  in  a  man 
of  his  age  was  painfully  pathetic. 

"I  am  in  the  seventh  heaven.  I  can  scarce- 
ly believe  it.  I  am  trying  to  realize  it.  I  am 
trying  to  keep  my  senses,"  she  rattled  on, 
with  an  exhilaration  natural  enough  in  a 
gay  and  extravagant  young  woman  sudden- 
ly made  rich.  "  You  must  dance  with  me," 
she  added,  seizing  him  by  the  arms,  whirl- 
ing him  around  the  room  as  fast  as  one  could 
whirl  a  man  of  his  tonnage,  and  humming  a 
waltz  over  his  shoulder.  "  There,  sit  down 
and  catch  your  breath,"  she  laughed,  plump- 
ing him  upon  a  sofa  and  slipping  away  from 
his  claspings.  "You  want  to  kiss, kiss,  kiss, 
all  the  while.  You  mustn't  do  it,  with  a 
stitch  in  your  side.  Do  you  think  that  I 
have  gone  wild  ?  You  never  tried  getting 
rich  in  a  single  night.  My  hundred  thou- 
sand dollars  have  flown  to  my  head.  I  am 
effervescing  with  plans.  I  can  understand 
the  Bacchantes.  I  should  like  to  swing  a 
bunch  of  grapes,  and  caper  with  the  Dan- 
cing Faun.  What  do  you  think  of  this  for 
a  Grande  Duchesse  f " 

Here  she  threw  herself  into  one  of  the 
wildest  attitudes  of  Tost^e,  looking  for  a 
moment  superlatively  wicked,  as  well  as  be- 
witching. 

"  Superb !"  gasped  Mr.  HoUowbread  from 
his  sofa,  though  he  was  not  less  frightened 
than  breathless. 

He  seemed  to  himself  to  see  her  dancing 
away  from  him,  never  more  to  return. 

"  Who  wouldn't  frolic  in  my  place  ?"  she 
babbled  on.  "  Oh,  the  x)leasure  of  being  rid 
of  all  anxieties!  Oh,  the  pleasure  of  jump- 
ing out  of  dependence  J  If  I  want  any 
thing,"  throwing  out  her  arms  superbly,  "  I 
can  buy  it.  If  I  want  services  and  rever- 
ences and  obediences,  I  can  hire  them.  A 
woman  who  has  all  the  money  she  needs  is 
somebody,  and,  more  than  that,  she  is  some- 
thing. It  is  all  very  well  to  be  handsome 
and  clever;  but  if  you  are  rich  in  addition, 
ah !  the  rest  doubles.  I  can  imagine  people 
looking  at  me  from  a  more  respectful  dis- 
tance tlian  fcn-merly ;  standing  aside  to  let 
mo  pass,  as  if  I  were  a  duchess  insteatl  of 
only  a  pretty  woman  ;  pointing  me  out  from 
a  distance,  as  if  I  were  a  procession  or  a  cer- 
emony. If  you  are  rich,  you  are  more  than 
a  single  individual.  You  stand  for  all  the 
peojilo  that  you  can  hire.  You  represent  a 
multitude.  It  is  like  being  President.  You 
can  comprehend  that,  can't  you  ?  Oh,  it  is 
such  a  A'ictory  and  such  an  inauguration  to 
bo  rich !" 

"  Yes,"  Mr.  HoUowbread  absolutely  sigh- 
ed, for  he  did  not  like  this  complete  content, 
this  bound-breaking  excitement.  "But  the 
feeling  will  soon  pass  away.  Then  you  will 
want  some  deeper  and  more  lasting  senti- 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


173 


racnt  to  make  lifo  continnonsly  happy.  I 
have  held  wealth  loii^  enough  to  know  that 
wealth  aloiio  is  emptiness.  Moreover,  dol- 
lars have  wings,  especially  when  they  are  in 
the  form  of  irredeemahlo  paper,"  added  this 
public  advocate  of  "more  greenbacks,"  and 
private  believer  in  minted  bullion.  "By- 
the-waj',  wo  must  sco  to  it  that  your  fortune 
is  invested  safely." 

"Mr.  Allchin  has  spoken  to  mo  a  dozen 
times  about  that,"  replied  Josie,  dropping 
back  to  earth  from  her  mad  paradise. 

"  Mr.  Allchin  ?  I'll  poison  him  !"  broke 
out  Ilollowbread.  "  Don't  have  any  thing 
to  do  with  that — that  footpad.  He  is  a 
risky,  dangerous  speculator ;  or,  rather,  ho  is 
a  sly,  conscienceless  scoundrel.  Ho  respects 
nobody,  not  even  his  personal  friends — not 
even  his  patrons.  He  Avould  put  off  his  rot- 
ten stocks  upon  his  own  sister,  or  upon  the 
President.  Ho  would  cheat  a  country  cler- 
gyman or  a  wooden-legged  xiensioncr.  Let 
me  tell  you  a  story  about  Allchin.  Our 
friend  Drummond,  who  is  a  practical  joker 
of  a  painfully  practical  sort,"  he  parenthe- 
sized disparagingly — "was  served  in  some 
matter  by  a  good  Quaker,  who  afterward 
asked  him  for  employment.  Drummond,  in 
mere  jest,  recommended  the  man  to  Allchin, 
who  replied, '  Certainly ;  send  him  along — 
give  him  an  agency.'  But  when  the  appli- 
cant put  in  an  appearance,  and  Allchin  saw 
that  he  was  an  honest  Quaker,  he  nearly 
laughed  in  his  face.  'Ah!  we  are  full  now,' 
he  smiled,  in  his  greasy  way.  '  We  really 
couldn't  employ  a  person  of  your — your  cal- 
ibre.' Of  course,  he  could  not.  No  use  for 
Quakers  or  scrupulous  men  in  general.  How 
could  such  fellows  hawk  his  rotten  eggs 
about  ?  If  the  apostles  had  applied  to  him 
for  work,  ho  wouldn't  have  accepted  them, 
unless  it  might  be  Judas.  No,  no,  my  dear 
child  ;  for  pity's  sake,  don't  ti-ust  Allchin  !" 

"He  promises  twenty  jier  cent.," rejdied 
Josie,  meditatively. 

"  That  means  that  he  will  take  eighty  and 
leave  you  twenty.  There  is  no  safety  outside 
of  legal  interest,  and  not  much  inside  of  it, 
in  these  days  of  watered  currency  and  wa- 
tered every  thing." 

"  But  I  want  twenty  thousand  a  year." 

"  My  dear,  between  us  both  you  will  have 
more  than  that !" 

Josie  looked  at  him  sidelong  out  of  a  cor- 
ner of  her  dark,  lustrous  eye ;  and  a  very 
beautiful  glance  it  was,  though  just  a  little 
snaky  and  minatory. 

"  I  am  under  obligations  to  various  people 
for  pushing  my  claim,  and  I  have  got  to  pay 
them,"  she  said. 

"  What  docs  it  mean  ?"  exclaimed  Hollow- 
bread.  "What  did  it  mean?  The  thing 
was  taken  out  of  my  hands  at  the  last  min- 
ute, and  without  my  knowledge.  It  was  not 
necessary  ;  I  had  every  thing  safe.  I  could 
have  pushed  the  bill  through  without  the 


cost  of  a  dollar  —  to  you,"  ho  added,  rc- 
mombcring  that  it  had  cost  liim  something. 
"There  was,  I  assure  you,  no  need  of  going 
to  others  for  help.  Don't  understand  mo  as 
complaining  of  it,  my  dear  child.  I  have 
no  fault  to  lind  if  you  wislie<l  matters  thus; 
but  I  do  bog  tliat  you  will  not  h(jld  me  re- 
sponsil)lo  for  failing  to  carry  you  to  the  end 
when  I  was  all  i)repared  to  do  it,  and  could 
have  done  it  with  certainty." 

"The  thing  was  taken  out  of  the  Judici- 
arj'^  Bill,  and  you  did  not  know  it  till  every 
body  know  it,"  said  Josie,  pensively,  for  she 
was  gravely  pondering  her  next  step. 

"  I  had  Bangs's  solemn  promise  that  it 
should  go  into  the  Judiciarj',"  declared  Mr. 
Ilollowbread,  loudly,  for  he  was  furious  with 
tho  general  at  that  moment.  "  I  had  his 
solemn  i>romise.  My  dear  child,  may  I  ask 
you  one  question  ?     Who  did  this  ?" 

"Mr.  Jacob  Pike,"  replied  Josie.  "I 
thought  it  best  to  go  to  him.  Every  body 
goes  to  those  people." 

"  Ah ! — well !"  sighed  Ilollowbread,  some- 
what relieved,  for  ho  had  suspected  the  in- 
terference of  Drummond.  "At  least,  it  has 
turned  out  luckily,"  ho  added,  luguljriously. 
"And  no  one  could  be  better  content  than 
I.  I  trust  that  you  are  at  least  satisHed 
with  my  efforts,  my  desires,  to  be  of  serv- 
ice." 

A  long  pause  followed — a  pause  bodeful 
of  tragedies.  Josie  had  not  been  in  the  least 
moved  by  these  eager  pleadings,  and  this 
piteous  humility  of  a  faii'ly  able  and  widely 
respected  old  gentleman.  It  seemed  to  her 
that  the  proper  time  had  come  to  put  him  in 
a  sack  and  drop  him  into  her  Bosphorus. 

"  I  am  iiartly  satisfied,"  she  said,  stammer- 
ing just  a  little — "I  am  satisfied  with  the 
past,  but  not  with  the  future." 

There  was  another  long  silence,  which 
told  of  a  soul  in  terror,  too  smothered  to 
speak.  It  was  such  a  stillness  as  befalls  in 
the  chamber  of  torture  when  the  inquisitor 
lays  his  instrument  on  a  tooth,  and  says, 
"  That  must  come  out." 

For  a  moment  our  heroine  trembled.  It 
was  her  womanish  way  when  undertaking  a 
cruel  deed  to  falter  at  tho  threshold ;  but, 
after  tho  first  step,  and  especially  if  there 
were  no  resistance,  she  always  gathered 
boldness,  ruthlessness,  and,  perhaps  one  may 
say,  ferocity. 

"I  think  we  have  made  one  great  mis- 
take," she  pursued,  with  her  eyes  on  tho  car- 
pet, for  she  could  not  yet  face  her  victim. 

Mr.  Ilollowbread,  fearing  lest  sho  meant 
the  engagement,  and  vainly  striving  to  hope 
that  sho  did  not  moan  it,  was  in  too  deeji 
waters  for  instant  utterance. 

"  Wo  ought  to  have  remained  friends," 
continued  Josie.  "  Simply  and  honestly 
friends,"  sho  pieced  on,  after  another  pause. 
"  We  should  never  have  gone  further." 

Mr.  Hollowbread  saw  his  fate  arise  before 


174 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


him,  and  struggled  -vritli  the  feeble  strength 
of  nightmare  to  escape  it. 

"  I  can  not  think  it,  Mrs.  Murray,"  he  an- 
6"n'ered,  in  a  feeble,  gasping  voice,  such  a 
voice  as  the  Arabian  fisherman  must  have 
had  when  he  sought  to  persuade  the  Afrit 
not  to  eat  him  up.  "No,  no — so  help  me 
Heaven! — I  never  can  think  that." 

"  But  I  must  think  it,  Mr.  Hollowbread. 
Oh  yes !  indeed,  I  must,  and  do  !  We  made 
a  great,  a  fatal  mistake  in  becoming  engaged. 
I  must  beg  your  pardon  for  having  led  you 
on  to  such  an  error." 

He  made  a  feeble  gesture  of  dissent,  a  ges- 
ture "which  was  pitifully  deprecatiug,  but 
which  did  not  touch  her. 

"  We  resiiected  and  admired  and  liked 
each  other,  and  so  far  all  was  well,"  persist- 
ed Josic.  "  But  when  we  went  further — 
when  wo  ventured  a  betrothal  —  the  cord 
snapped.  Wo  thought  there  was  love  be- 
tween us,  and  now  I  hud  that  there  was  only 
friendship." 

"  Not  with  me,"  protested  Mr.  HoUowbread, 
beginning  to  recover  the  use  of  his  organs. 
"  It  was  more  than  friendship  with  me — in- 
comparably more— infinitely  more.  It  is  so 
still.  I  love  yon  with  all  my  heart  and  soul 
and  miud  and  strength.  I  shall  love  you  all 
my  life." 

"  It  is  a  great  compliment,"  returned  Jo- 
sie,  who  by  this  time  had  stilled  her  heart- 
beating  and  got  her  intellect  under  com- 
mand. "  I  shall  never  cease  to  thank  you 
for  it.  But  if  you  really  love  me,  you  will 
wish  me  to  be  happy  ;  you  will  be  willing  to 
sacrifice  yourself  just  a  little  for  me  ;  you 
win  not  force  upon  me  a  discontent  which 
might — I  can  not  say  how,  but  surely  some- 
how—  might  drive  me  desperate  —  might 
drive  me  to  ruin." 

"  Oh,  Mrs.  Murray !  Are  you  not  overstat- 
ing this  matter  ?  How  can  it  ruin  you  to  be 
the  wife  of  a  man  who  adores  you,  who  will 
never  trammel  your  liberty,  who  only  asks 
to  be  endured,  who  will  live  altogether  for 
you  ?" 

Even  Josio  was  a  little  shaken  by  this 
plea,  and  remained  silent  for  a  few  seconds. 

"  I  shall  not  live  long,"  added  Mr.  Hollow- 
bread,  Avith  entire  seriousness,  and  with  a 
truly  touching  pathos. 

"  Perhaps  I  shall  not,  either,"  was  the  only 
answer  she  could  devise  at  the  moment. 

"But  j'ou  promised,"  urged  the  trembling 
old  man,  for  he  was  really  old  just  then, 
though  only  sixty.  "  You  pledged  yourself, 
Mrs.  Murraj'." 

Josie  was  meditating,  but  solely  as  to  how 
she  could  shake  him  off,  and  at  the  same  time 
not  anger  him.  She  wanted  to  get  rid  of 
him  as  a  husband,  and  yet  keep  him  as  a 
friend  and  ally.  Not  merely  her  good-nature, 
but  also  her  ambition  and  selfishness,  in- 
clined her  toward  this  purpose.  She  had 
great  schemes  in  her  excited  imasinatiou : 


vague  plans  for  bringing  forward  her  claim 
once  more  and  demanding  a  thoroughly  sat- 
isfactory settlement :  wild  hopes  of  drawing 
vast  sums,  possibly  millions,  from  the  public 
treasury.  With  these  ideas  in  her  head  she 
once  more  faced  her  captive  Tartar,  and  tried 
to  coax  him  to  let  her  go. 

"But,  oh  dear!  Mr.  HoUowbread,  you 
surely  can't  want  a  silly  young  wife,  so 
completely  unworthy  of  you,"  she  pleaded. 
"  How  can  you  care  for  me  ?  I  don't  want 
to  get  rid  of  you  altogether.  I  want  to  keep 
you — as  a  dear  friend — my  dearest  friend. 
It  is  only  the  thought  of  marriage  that  I 
fear.  It  is  only  that  which  can  separate  us 
in  heart.  Now,  do  be  nice,"  she  begged,  put- 
ting both  her  hands  on  his  shoulder.  "  Do 
relievo  me  from  an  unwise  promise !  Take 
a  kiss — a  dozen,  fifty  kisses — and  let  us  be 
friends  hereafter,  but  only  friends.  Now,  my 
good,  kind  darliug,  don't  be  hard  with  me." 

"  I  can  not — I  can  not  let  it  go  so,"  he  sob- 
bed, kissing  her  hand  over  and  over.  "  No, 
my  dear  child,  I  could  not  say  it." 

"But  do  listen  to  reason,  Mr.  HoUow- 
bread," she  insisted,  losing  her  patience  a 
little.  "Do  consider  just  this  one  thing.  I 
am  not  the  same  woman  with  the  woman 
who  accepted  you.  That  poor  little  woman 
had  no  money  and  needed  a  support,"  she 
explained,  with  a  bright,  placatiug  smile, 
which  seemed  to  take  all  the  wickedness  out 
of  this  frank  confession  of  egotism.  "Now 
I  am  rich.  Now  I  can  take  care  of  myself. 
Don't  yon  see  that  it  makes  a  diftereuce  ?  I 
have  now  the  one  necessary  of  life  which  be- 
fore I  had  not,  and  which  I  was  obliged  to 
look  to  you  for." 

"  I  was  only  too  glad  to  offer  it,"  sighed 
Mr.  HoUowbread. 

"And  I  am  sincerely  obliged  to  you,"  an- 
swered Josie,  perfectly  unembarrassed.  "  It 
was  very  kind  and  good  of  you,  and  shows 
how  noble  your  heart  is.  But  now,  when  I  no 
longer  require  your  fortune,  are  you  not  ask- 
ing too  much  to  insist  upon  marriage  ?  You 
are  demanding  every  thing,  and  offering  me 
what  I  don't  need.  Do  reflect,  Mr.  HoUow- 
bread, and  see  whether  you  think  it  is  fair." 

"  It  is  not,"  he  groaned.  "  But  I  .ask  truth 
and  honor.  It  is  life  and  death  with  me.  I 
must  ask  them !" 

"Mis-ter — Hoi -low -bread — I  —  ca-n't," 
slowly  responded  Josie,  her  very  hesitation 
and  her  very  drawl  adding  strength  to  her 
words,  and  giving  her  decision  an  air  of  irrev- 
ocable finality.  That  dragging  utterance, 
the  grave  consideration  which  it  revealed, 
the  audible  desire  to  please,  ending  iu  recoil, 
it  was  an  unalterable  sentence. 

"Oh,  my  God! — my  God!  My  heart  is 
broken!"  exclaimed  the  poor  man,  stagger- 
ing to  his  feet.  "Mrs.  Murray,  you  have 
ended  one  old  man's  life  in  sorrow.  Yes,  I 
am  an  old  man,"  he  whimpered,  his  voice 
breaking:  art  last.     "  I  admit  it." 


PLAYING  THE  MISCniEF. 


175 


"Mr.  Hollowbreatl,  I  am  sorry,"  said  Josie, 
cringing  at  tbo  sight  of  this  great  distress. 
"I  hope  you  arc  not  angry  -with  me." 

"Angry  -with  you!"  ho  .sobbed,  turning 
upon  her  two  dim  and  bloodshot  eyes,  blind- 
ed with  tears.  "  I — dou't — know.  I  don't 
know  what  I  am,"  ho  repeated,  wiping  his 
wet  face  with  his  glove.  "  I  dou't  kuow 
uuich  about  it.     I  am  stunned." 

"  I  hojio  you  are  not  very  angry,"  slio  per- 
sisted, following  him  to  the  door.  "I  have 
done  what  I  am  sure  is  for  the  best.  If  you 
will  only  think  of  it  calmly,  I  am  sure  you 
Avill  agree  with  me.  I  don't  want  you  angry 
with  me.     I  want  to  keep  you  as  a  friend." 

"I  must  go,"  muttered  Mr.  Hollowbread. 
lie  seemed  to  bo  tottering  in  mind  as  well 
as  iu  body.  Tlien,  as  if  recollecting  where 
ho  was  and  what  was  becoming,  he  halted, 
turned,  took  her  hand,  and  said,  "  God  bless 
you !     Good-bye !"' 

She  gazed  after  him  with  a  variety  of 
thoughts  as  he  passed  ont  of  the  door.  She 
"was  really  sorrj'  for  him  iu  that  moment,  and 
wished  that  ho  were  twenty  years  younger. 
She  wondered  if  he  would  look  back  at  her, 
and  hoped  that  ho  would  not,  being  desirous 
not  to  see  those  woeful  eyes  again.  The  door 
closed  softly,  and  she  was  alone. 

"Ah !"  said  Josie  to  herself,  drawing  a  long 
breath.  "  "What  a  pull  it  was !  Well,  that 
thing  is  off  my  mind." 

The  trial  over,  for  she  regarded  it  mainly 
as  a  trial  to  herself,  she  dropped  upou  a  sofa 
to  rest.  She  was  just  thinking  that  she 
would  soon  have  finer  sofas  thau  that  hid- 
eous old  speckled  damask,  when  the  door 
suddenly  re-opeued,  and  her  rejected  lover 
re-entered. 

"  Have  you  forgotten  any  thing,  Mr.  Hol- 
lowbread ?"  she  inquired,  with  jterfect  good- 
nature and  friendliness,  jumping  up  to  meet 
him,  and  glancing  to  see  if  he  had  left  his 
hat. 

"Walking  straight  up  to  her,  with  an  air 
of  excitement  which  alarmed  her,  he  said  : 

"Mrs.  Murray,  I  ask  you  once  more,  sol- 
emnly and  finally,  to  be  my  wife." 

"  Mr.  Hollowbread,  that  is  all  nonsense," 
answered  Josie,  perhaps  rather  more  petu- 
lantly than  became  a  lady,  even  a  pestered 
one.  "  Do  stop  talking  about  it.  It  is  set- 
tled." 

"I  have  a  claim  on  your  gratitude,"he  per- 
sisted, finite  loudly.  "  I  have  served  you — 
served  you  hard  and  faithfully — given  you 
my  services." 

His  face  was  excessively  flushed,  and  ho 
stammered  strangely  in  his  speech,  as  if 
threatened  with  paralysis.  But  Josie  mere- 
ly thought  that  he  was  threatening  her,  and 
merely  desired  to  get  rid  of  him. 

"  I  kuow  it,"  she  said.  "  But  others  have 
served  me,  too,  and  I  have  got  to  pay  them 
for  it." 

"  You  will  pay  them."  he  replied,  confus- 


edly. "You  have  paid  vie.  You  paid  Mrs. 
Warden." 

"  I  have  nothing  to  do  with  Mrs.  Warden," 
asserted  our  hex'oine,  becoming  angry  at  last. 
"  She  died  because  she  had  a  heart-disease. 
I  wish  you  wonld  go  away  and  let  mo  alone." 

Without  another  word  ho  went  out,  and 
then  she  hastilj^  locked  the  door. 

Hardly,  however,  had  she  taken  a  seat  and 
caught  lior  breath  afresh  ere  she  heard  somo 
one  fumbling  at  the  knob. 

"There  ho  is  again,  I  guess,"  she  said  to 
herself,  quite  composedly.  "  I  wonder  if  ho 
has  come  back  after  his  seven  wits." 

After  trying  iu  vaiu  to  see  through  the 
key-hole,  she  called : 

"  Who  is  it  ?    Is  it  you,  Mr. Hollowbread?" 

"Madam,  I  must  speak  to  you,"  respond- 
ed the  dolorous  voice  of  that  surely  enchant- 
ed and  bedeviled  gentleman. 

"  Go  away !"  screamed  Josie,  in  high  ex- 
citement. "  I  won't  let  you  in.  I  tell  you, 
go  away !" 

And  this  time  the  poor,  rejected,  bewitch- 
ed sexagenarian  did  take  his  love -cracked 
noddlo  and  tottering  person  oft'  the  premises. 

A  minute  later,  Josie  smiled,  and  murmur- 
ed to  herself:  "I  do  wonder  what  he  want- 
ed to  tell  me.  I  wish  I  made  him  say  it 
through  the  key-hole.  It  would  have  been 
so  funny !" 

She  was,  in  the  main,  uncommonly  clever, 
and  still  she  had  the  thoughtless  whims  of  a 
child. 


CHAPTEE   LI. 


JOSIE   SETTLES  WITH  3IU.  JAKE  PIKE. 

It  was  battle  season  with  Josie ;  the  great 
struggle  with  Hollowbread  was  followed  by 
I  other  tremendous  combats ;  it  seemed  as  if 
the  winning  of  her  claim  were  only  the  be- 
ginning of  wars  and  tumults. 

Her  next  fight,  after  dislodging  and  driv- 
ing out  ijoor  Hollowbread,  was  with  Mr.  Ja- 
cob Pike.  Josie  did  not  at  all  want  to  have 
a  disagreement  with  him,  and  she  contrived 
to  evade  him  for  a  while  by  messages  that 
she  was  not  at  home,  that  she  Avas  out  of 
town,  and  so  on. 

But  at  last,  by  dint  of  bribing  a  servant- 
maid,  he  obtained  unheralded  admission  to 
our  heroine's  private  parlor. 

It  was  curious,  by-the-way,  to  note  wliat 
a  change  appeared  in  his  expression  when 
he  came  face  to  fiico  with  her.  Bclievin<; 
that  she  had  been  trying  to  dodge  him,  and 
fearing  lest  she  did  not  mean  to  pay  him,  he 
had  ascended  the  stairs  on  menacing  tijitoes 
and  with  a  very  glum  countenance.  Yet  the 
moment  ho  laid  eyes  ou  her,  aiul  heard  her 
gracious  salutation,  ho  was  re-assured  and 
mollified.  Josie,  though  both  surprised  and 
displeased  by  his  advent,  rallied  her  self-pos- 
session iu  an  instant,  and  received  him  with 


17G 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


a  show  of  cordiality  wbicli  amountetl  to  re- 
joicing. 

Mr.  Pike,  ou  Lis  part,  was  honestly  glad  ; 
he  was  even  much  more  glad  than  she  could 
look.  He  marched  into  the  x')arlor  with  the 
cheerful  smile  of  a  good  man  who  has  done  a 
worthy  action,  and  of  course  expects  friend- 
ly greetings  and  a  fitting  reward. 

"  Well,  Mr.  Pike,  what  is  the  news  ?"  ask- 
ed Josie,  glancing  with  some  secret  timidity 
at  his  pugnaciously  broad  cheek-hones  and 
solid  jaws,  and  pondering  the  while  how  she 
could  induce  him  to  leave  with  the  under- 
standing of  calling  again. 

"  \Yell,  ma'am,  the  news  is,  ninety  thou- 
sand dollars  to  you  and  ten  thousand  to 
me,"  responded  Mr.  Pike,  with  genial  humor. 
"  Of  course  you  know  it,  and  I  don't  want  to 
waste  your  valuable  time  in  bragging  of  it. 
I  will  simply  say,  shortly  and  sweetly,  tliat 
I've  called  to  tuttle." 

"I  don't  quite  comprehend  you,  Mr.  Pike. 
"What  do  you  mean  ?" 

"Why,  ma'am,  it's  an  old  story.  Some- 
thing about  a  lii-m  named  Call  &  Tuttle. 
Fellow  steps  in  and  says, '  I've  called  to  tut- 
tle.' What  I  mean  is,  that  I've  called  to  set- 
tle." 

"  But,  Mr.  Pike,  I  don't  want  to  tuttle,"  ob- 
served Josie,  with  a  little  laugh,  partly  of 
embarrassment  and  ^lartly  meant  to  gain 
time. 

Mr.  Pike  laughed,  too ;  it  was  very  amus- 
ing, of  course  ;  wasn't  she  jolly !  He  began 
to  think  that  he  should  learn  to  like  her  him- 
self, and  feel  willing  to  do  jobs  for  her  at  half- 
in-ice,  as  he  had  done  this  one  without  feeling 
willing. 

'•  Certainly,"  he  guffawed.  "  There's  noth- 
ing meaner  than  tuttling.  But  such  is  busi- 
ness. We  order,  and  then  we  iiay,  and  some- 
body else  pays  us,  and  so  it  goes.  You've 
fomid  it  a  pretty  good  working  rule  so  far, 
Mrs.  Murray." 

Xow,  if  Josie  had  but  got  one  hundred  and 
ten  thousand  dollars,  she  would  probably 
hare  allowed  him  the  odd  ten  thousand 
without  much  delay,  though  not  without  re- 
gret. 

But  to  dig  into  her  round  hundred  thou- 
sand, to  make  it  uncomely  and  incomplete 
and  ragged,  to  haggle  a  corner  oiit  of  it,  was 
really  dreadful.  Since  the  passing  of  her 
claim  she  had  set  her  mind  on  investing  a 
solid  hundred  thousand,  and  drawing  the 
full,  undiminished,  respectable,  regal  rev- 
enue of  it. 

"I  don't  think  I  can  pay  you  at  iiresent," 
she  ventured  to  remark. 

"  Hey  ?"  inquired  the  Congressional  agent, 
beginning  to  be  anxious  again. 

"  In  fact,  I  don't  think  I  can  pay  you  at 
all,"  added  Josie. 

"Why,  you've  got  the  money,  haven't 
you  ?"  he  asked,  sharply.  "  You've  got  it, 
sure  V 


"I  mean  that  I  don't  owe  you  any  thing, 
Mr.  Pike,"  stammered  our  heroine,  still  a 
good  deal  frightened  at  her  own  courage,  if 
one  may  so  express  it. 

"  Don't  owe  me  any  thing !"  exclaimed  the 
horrified  and  disgusted  Pike.  "  Why,  I  car- 
ried your  bill  for  you,  didn't  I  ?" 

"  Mr.  Hollo wbread  worked  for  me,"  said 
Josie,  not  in  the  least  ashamed  of  using  that 
abused  man's  name.  "  And  so  did  Mr.  Drum- 
mond,  and  General  Bangs,  and  Mr.  Smyler, 
and  ever  so  many  more.  And  they  voted 
for  me,  too.     You  have  no  vote,  you  know." 

"Mrs.  Murray,  this  is  the  Jirst  time  that 
ever  I  heard  any  thing  like  this,"  remonstra- 
ted the  ex-Congressman,  with  more  regard 
for  effect  than  for  truth  ;  seeing  that  many 
a  time  before  had  a  wicked  world  sought  to 
swindle  him.  "  I've  been  in  the  job  line  now 
for  four  years,  and  I  never  was  bilked  yet, 
nor  nobody  ever  tried  to  bilk  me." 

"  I  don't  know  what  you  mean  by  bilk. 
If  it  means  taking  advantage  of  iieople,  I 
should  like  to  know  what  you  are  doing. 
Five  thousand  dollars  is  a  great  deal  to  ask 
for  a  few  minutes  of  walking  about  and 
whispering." 

"  Five  thousand  !"  stared  Mr.  Pike.  "  It 
was  ten  thousand." 

"  I  beg  your  pardon,  Mr.  Pike ;  it  was  five," 
asserted  Josie,  just  as  readily  and  positively 
as  if  she  were  telling  the  truth. 

"  No,  ma^am  !     Ten — I  said  ten  .'" 

"  Yes,  I  know  you  said  ten  thousand  at 
first ;  but  afterward  you  said  five  thousand. 
Oh,  you  said  all  sorts  of  things.  You  want- 
ed half,  and  then  you  wanted  a  third,  and 
then  you  wanted  something  else,  and  finally 
you  came  down  to  five  thousand.  I  don't 
wonder  that  you  don't  remember  exactly 
what  you  did  agree  to.  As  for  me,  I  couldn't 
have  forgotten,  because  this  was  my  only  af- 
fair of  the  sort.  It  doesn't  stand  to  reason, 
Mr.  Pike,  that  you  should  recollect  one  out 
of  your  twenty  or  forty  bargains  better  than 
I  can  recollect  my  only  one." 

"Gracious  Jehu!"  gnashed  the  lobbyist, 
in  despair  over  such  an  argumeut,  which  ho 
knew  to  be  as  utterly  unfounded  as  it  was 
plausible.  "  Well,  you  did  agree  to  five  thou- 
sand, then  ?"  ho  added,  adroitly. 

"  I  said  that  you  agreed  to  five  thousand," 
our  admirable  lieroiue  promptly  returned. 

Mr.  Pike  stared  at  her  for  several  seconds, 
with  an  expression  curiously  compounded 
of  auger,  perplexity,  greed,  and  desperation. 
Then  he  re-opened  his  case,  and  pleaded  it 
over  from  the  beginning,  step  by  step,  and 
trick  by  trick,  and  roguery  by  roguery.  Ho 
told  how  he  had  implored  one  member ;  how 
he  had  argued  till  he  was  hoarse  with  an- 
other; how  much  per  head  he  had  promised 
three  or  four  leading  "  war  -  horses ;"  how 
much  ho  had  advanced  out  of  his  own  pock- 
et to  certain  "  dead-beats."  He  recited  the 
sums  which  were  due  to  newspaper -men. 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


177 


■nbo,  but  for  llio  same,  woulil  have  "slansb- 
tered  tbo  section,"  and  to  various  brotbcr 
lobbyists  wboni  bo  liad  been  obliged  to  di- 
vide ^vitb  under  fear  of  incurring  tbeir  op- 
position. 

Tbis  statement  was  so  detailed  and  com- 
plete tbat  it  undeniably  sounded  like  an  ac- 
curate one,  if  wo  may  not  use  tbo  cpitbet 
honest.  In  fine,  lio  ligured  down  bis  own 
residuum  of  tbo  comniissiou  to  soractbiug 
less  tbaii#a  poor  couple  of  tbousands. 

"And  I'll  leave  it  to  any  bonorable  man  if 
tbat  au't  little  enougb  for  tbe  job,  and  five 
times  too  little;"  be  concluded,  Avitb  tbe  en- 
ergy of  conscious  integrity.  "  I'll  leave  it  to 
any  wbite  man,  any  square-minded  man,  tbat 
you  know.  Tbcro  an't  any  otber  agent  in 
"Wasbingtou,  nor  nowbero  else  in  all  C'brist's 
kingdom,  could  bavo  got  it  tbrougb  for  twice 
tbe  ligger.  You  pay  nic  ten  tbousaud,  and 
tben  credit  yourself  witb  ten  tliousaud  saved, 
and  you'll  just  bit  it,  Mrs.  Murray." 

'•'  It  does  seem  so  bigb,"  answered  tbe  un- 
convinced Josie.  "  Ten  tbousand  dollars  is 
a  great  deal  of  money,  Mr.  Pike." 

'On  a  cussory  view,  yes.  But  wben  you 
come  to  look  at  it  doggedly  and  seriatim,  it 
isn't  so  mucb.  Tbis  is  in  greenbacks,  you 
know,  and  jirices  bave  risen  since  gold  times, 
and  Congressmen  bavo  gone  np  worse  tban 
any  tbing." 

"But  what  was  tbe  use  of  spending  and 
Xiromising  so  recklessly  ?"  recommenced  our 
indefatigable  beroine,  a  perfect  master  of  tbe 
argument  called  repetition.  "  I  was  sure  to 
get  my  appropriation.  Wbat  was  I  asking 
for  ?  Notbing  but  my  own  money.  It  was 
a  perfect! V  just  case,  and  every  body  knew 
it." 

"Tlicre  wasn't  any  justice  about  it!"  burst 
out  Jake  Pike,  losing  bis  temper  again. 
"Tbere  wasn't  a  two-spot  of  justice  in  my 
band !" 

Tbat  was  tbo  weakness  of  tbis  otberwise 
estimable  lobbyist ;  be  lost  bis  temper  as 
often  as  ever  an  old  lady  lost  ber  spectacles. 

"And  bow  do  I  know  tbat  all  tbis  money 
will  go  as  yon  say  ?"  continued  Airs.  Murray, 
improving  ber  advantage.  "  I  am  not  ac- 
quainted witb  you  as  a  business  man.  Be- 
fore bringing  in  sucb  a  bill,  j^ou  ougbt  to 
sbow  me  tbo  vouchers." 

"  Vouchers !"  be  laughed  or  gasped,  for  the 
idea  excited  him  to  both  contempt  and  im- 
patience. "  Do  you  suppose  members  will 
sign  tbeir  names  to  papers  owning  tbat  they 
bave  took  bribes  ?  Come,  now,  that's  pret- 
ty hard  on  Congressmen,  that  is!  That's 
the  same  as  saying  you  think  they  are  born 
fools !  Of  course  they  Avon't  sign  no  such 
papers.  I'll  tell  you  what  I'll  do,"  he  add- 
ed, thinking  to  frighten  ber  ;  "  I'll  fetch  the 
gentlemen  themselves !" 

"  I  won't  see  them,"  declared  Josie,  snap- 
pishly. 

"  I  guess  I'd  better  fetch  them,"  contin- 


ued Pike,  believing  tbat  be  had  "  got  her,"  as 
ho  would  have  expressed  it. 

"If  you  do,  I'll  leave  Washington;  I'll 
complain  to  the  police.  I  am  not  obliged  to 
see  all  tbe  low  i)eoplo  whom  you  choose  to 
bring  here,  nor  to  see  you  either." 

Tiiero  was  no  use  in  this  threat,  clearly  ; 
and  bo  turned  oiico  more  to  persuasion. 

"You  ougbt  not  to  damage  ?Hf,  Mrs.  Mur- 
ray. After  all  tbe  good  work  I've  done  for 
you,  you  ougbt  not  to  give  uie  a  gird.  And 
you  are  damaging  me  bad.  You  are  mak- 
ing mo  forfeit  my  word  and  lose  my  charac- 
ter. If  these  promises  are  dishonored,  it  will 
cut  into  my  business.  How  can  you  cxpecu 
members  to  stand  by  agents  if  they  don't  feel 
certain  agents  will  stand  by  them  ?  There 
an't  a  claimant  in  Washington,  or  out  of  it, 
but  what'll  suffer  more  or  less  if  tbis  job  of 
yours  an't  settled  for.  You'll  do  a  mischief 
that'll  last  for  years  and  years.  I  tell  you, 
Mrs.  Murray,  that  I  know  all  tbis,  and  I  feel 
it.  If  you  don't  pay  these  little  bills,  I  shall 
have  to  pay  'em  myself." 

"  I  don't  care  whether  you  do  or  not,"  re- 
sponded the  pitiless  Josie.  "  Yon  bave  made 
enougb  in  otber  things  to  aflbrd  it.  And  as 
for  these  Congressmen  of  yours,  they  arc 
low,  mean,  shabby  creatures,  and  I  don't  care 
if  they  never  get  a  cent.  It  Avas  mere  jus- 
tice," she  insisted,  once  more.  "  I  don't  want 
to  pay  for  justice.     Justice  ought  to  be  free." 

"  But  bow  about  injustice  ?''  demanded  Mr. 
Pike,  thinking  for  tbe  tenth  time  tbat  be 
had  got  her. 

"  There  hasn't  been  any,"  responded  Josie, 
with  admirable  readiness,  directness,  and 
simplicity.  Ho  could  make  no  progress; 
tbe  discussion  kei)t  swinging  back  to  where 
it  started ;  tbe  claim  was  just,  and  tbe  money 
was  hers. 

"  Look  here,  Mrs.  Murray  !"be  began  again. 
Supposing  I  was  a  lawyer,  and  bad  w"on  a 
great  case  for  you — " 

.  "  But  you  are  not  a  lawyer,"  she  interrupt- 
ed, with  the  readiness  of  a  good  logician. 
"And  tbat  makes  a  great  ditierence.  If 
yours  was  a  regular  xn'ofession  and  an  hon- 
orable one,  I  would  consider  your  extraordi- 
nary charges  more  patiently.  But  it  is  no 
sucb  tbing ;  it  is  an  underhanded,  shameful 
business ;  and  I  mean  to  give  one  lobbyist  a 
lesson." 

"  By  George,  if  you  don't  beat  the  deuce !" 
returned  Mr.  Pike,  glaring  in  utter  amaze- 
ment at  this  impudence.  "  Look  here,  ma'am, 
I  tell  you  what!'' bo  broke  out,  giving  way 
to  bis  unhappy  temper  anew.  "  If  you  don't 
pay  tbat  ten  tbousand  right  straight  down, 
every  cent  of  it,  I'll  tell  on  you.  I  don't 
caro  wbat  becomes  of  tbe  business,  I'll  tell 
on  you.  I'll  expose  tbe  whole  history,  tbe 
whole  illegality  and  perjury  of  your  job,  I 
will,  by  thunder!" 

"I  don't  caro  what  you  tell,'' snapped  Jo- 
sie, rather  enlivened  than  daunted  by  these 


178 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


threats.  "You  are  a — nobody,  and  people 
won't  believe  a  word  you  say.  Every  body 
knows  what  you  are." 

"And  every  body  knows  what  you  are!" 
retorted  the  es-Congressmau,  meaning  more 

/nd  worse  than  he  could  have  proved. 
"I  am  a  lady,"  said  Josie,  bridling  and 
nushing,  though  she  did  not  comprehend  the 
broad  bearing  of  his  scoif.  "  I  have  simply 
got  my  own  money,  and  I  don't  mean  to  be 
robbed  of  it.  You  have  no  right  to  say  any 
thing  against  me  because  of  that.  And  I 
don't  believe  you  have  a  right  to  come  here 
at  all  and  demand  things  of  me  in  this  vio- 
lent way.  If  I  owe  you  any  thing,  you  should 
send  your  bill  in  writing,  civiUy,  and  not 
plunge  into  my  rooms  in  this  fashion  andin^^ 
suit  inc." 

"  Send  a  bill !"  exclaimed  poor  Pike,  who 
was  led  on  from  surprise  to  surprise,  and 
whose  reason  began  to  reel  under  such  a  suc- 
cession of  whimsies.  "  Nonsense  and  gam- 
mon !  Peox)le  don't  send  bills  for  this  sort 
of  service — not  yit.  I  never  heard  of  such 
a  thing.  It's  just  perfect,  unmitigated  non- 
sense and  gammon." 

"  It  seems  to  me  tliat  you  might  be  more 
gracious  in  your  language  when  I  suggest  an 
idea  to  help  you  along,"  replied  Josie,  with 
distracting  composure  and  urbanity. 

Mr.  Pike  had  read  of  people  tearing  their 
hair,  and  had  looked  upon  the  alleged  per- 
formance as  a  sheer,  silly  invention,  only  to 
be  met  with  in  illustrated  weeklies.  But 
he  felt  now  that  it  would  be  a  great  relief  to 
shove  his  hard  hands  into  his  brashy  scalp 
and  tweak  the  very  seams  oiien.  He  sat  si- 
lent for  a  moment,  staring  at  Josie  in  stolid 
despair,  and  trying  in  vain  to  see  through 
his  millstone  in  i^etticoats.  She  was  the 
most  contrary  creature,  the  most  indefatiga- 
bly  and  unseizably  contrary  creature,  that 
he  had  ever  met  with.  She  would  not  do, 
and  could  not  bo  trapped  into  doing,  any 
thing  that  suited  his  purposes.  When  he 
tried  to  argue,  she  snapped  at  him ;  and  when 
he  bristled  up  for  a  tight,  she  was  good-na- 
tured. He  was  like  a  bandaged  lubber  in 
blind-man's-butf,  who  bangs  himself  against 
the  furniture  at  every  step,  and  never  catches 
any  body.  And  she  was  like  the  greased  pig 
whom  no  grip  can  hold  to,  or  like  the  famous 
spry  little  ]}\g  who  could  not  be  counted.' 
He  had  run  himself  mentally  out  of  breath 
after  her,  and  she  was  still  as  fresh  and  as 
ftir  beyond  his  reach  as  ever. 

"If  you  came  hero  simply  to  insult  mo," 
added  Josie,  by  way  of  finishing  her  stunned 
assailant,  "  I  should  say  that  you  had  accom- 
plished your  object,  and  might  feel  free  to 
go." 

"Oh, come  now, Mrs. M., don't  let's  quarrel 
about  this!"  urged  Pilce,  placatingly,  for  ho 
hated  to  leave  without  his  pay.  "  If  I've  said 
any  thing  hasty,  I  apologize.  Perhaps  we 
could  come  to  a  little  bit  of  a  compromise 


somehow.  You  asked  me  to  put  your  claim 
through,  and  I  done  it.  Now,  what  would 
you  like  to  allow  me  for  it  ?  Just  say  your 
say,  and  then  I'll  say  my  say." 

"  I  don't  know  but  I  would  pay  what  you 
say  you  have  paid  out  for  me,"  returned  Jo- 
sie, after  some  jionderiug.  "That  is  four 
hundred  dollars,  according  to  your  account. 
Then,  I  will  give  you  one  hundred  dollars 
for  your  trouble." 

If  Jacob  Pike's  face  had  been  n  slice  of 
bacon  toasting  on  a  hot  gridiron,  it  could  not 
have  writhed  and  shriveled  more  than  it  did 
under  this  offer. 

"  Why  not  put  it  the  other  way !"  he 
smirked,  or  tried  to  smirk.  "  I'd  rather  set- 
tle honestly  with  my  members  than  with 
myself.  Throw  out  the  five  hundred ;  I'll 
get  nothing  and  lose  something;  then  you 
pay  the  rest.  Come  now,  Mrs.  Murray,  I'll 
compromise  on  ninety -five  hundred,  and 
that's  cheap  enough." 

"  You  might  as  well  say  ten  thousand  at 
once,"  was  the  intelligent  response.  "I 
won't  do  it,"  she  added,  with  the  noble  tone 
of  one  who  resists  an  imposition. 

Then  Mr.  Pike  arose  in  his  wrath  and  his 
dignity,  or,  as  he  would  have  called  it,  his 
"  dig."  He  had  been  an  auctioneer  not  many 
years  x)revious,  and  he  lifted  up  his  right  arm 
as  if  it  still  wielded  the  fateful  hammer. 

"All  or  none  !"  he  said,  in  an  awful  voice. 
"  I  ask  you  once  more,  ma'am,  will  you  pay 
me  that  ten  thousand  ?  I  ask  you  three 
times.  Will  you  do  it  ?  Once  —  twice — 
thrice  ?" 

Josie  was  a  little  startled  by  this  cere- 
mony, but  she  bravely  said  "No  "  each  time. 

"  Then  I  am  done  with  you  !"  fairly  shout- 
ed Jacob,  not  knowing  what  to  do  but  shout^ 
unless  he  should  dash  his  brains  out  against 
the  wall. 

"  I  am  very  glad  to  hear  it,"  said  Josie, 
with  commendable  spunk. 

But  although  Mr.  Pike  stalked  to  the  door 
and  opened  it,  he  did  not  leave.  He  medi- 
tated a  moment,  came  back  a  step  or  two, 
and  stared  at  her  perplexedly. 

"  I  thought  you  were  going,  sir,"  observed 
Josie,  rising  to  her  feet,  with  a  vague  hope 
that  she  could  rustle  and  "slm"  him  out,  as 
if  he  were  a  hen. 

"I  want  that  check,"  he  sulked,  quite 
hoarse  and  pale.     "I — want — that — check!". 

"Will  you  leave  the  room,  sir?"  she  de- 
manded, a  good  deal  scared  meanwhile,  for 
his  expression  was  menacing. 

"  Not  till  I  have  that  check  first." 

"Then  you  may  stay  here,"  replied  Josie, 
skipping  deftly  by  him  and  out  of  the  door. 
"  I  will  see  the  landlady,  and  tell  her  to 
charge  you  the  rent,"  she  added  from  the 
hall.  "And  if  there  is  any  thing  missing 
from  my  projicrty,  I  shall  hold  you  responsi- 
ble to  the  police." 

"  Bully  for  you !"  Jacob  furiously  bawled 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


170 


after  ber ;  hut  slie  had  already  vanished  into 
some  room  whither  ho  did  not  feci  iVco  to 
follow  her  :  she  had  probably  not  even  heard 
his  farewell  explosion  of  rage. 

Thus  left  to  himself,  he  looked  furiously 
about  him,  clapped  his  hat  upon  his  woodeu 
head,  expectorated  on  the  hired  carpet,  and, 
in  short,  insulted  the  little  apartment.  I5ut 
presently  ho  recoUeetcd  how  useless  all  this 
Avas,  and,  witli  a  rather  sneaking  demeanor, 
quietly  took  his  leave. 

Meantime  Josie,  safely  ensconced  in  the 
landlady's  private  parlor,  and  prattling  eas- 
ily of  connuoni)lace  matters,  waited  to  see 
him  depart.  So  intent  was  sho  upon  this 
event,  that  for  some  little  time  sho  did  not 
notice  a  gentleman  on  the  other  side  of  the 
8treet,who  had  halted,  and  sccracdtobo  wist- 
fully surveying  her  through  the  half-opened 
Aviudow.  Ho  was  a  portly  and  rather  elder- 
ly person,  slovenly  in  dress,  ghastly  in  coun- 
tenance, and  woe-bcgouo  in  exxiression. 

"  I  wonder  who  that  gentleman  is  f '  que- 
ried the  spectacled  hostess.  "Ho  is  there 
every  day — two  or  three  times  a  day — walk- 
ing up  and  down,  and  staring  at  the  house." 

The  moment  our  heroine  raised  her  eyes 
toward  the  stranger  he  took  off  his  hat  with 
an  air  of  reverential  respect,  though  also  of 
profound  melancholy.  Josie  nodded,  smiled 
cordially,  and  called,  in  a  sweet  soprano  : 
"Howdedo-o  ?" 

Then  she  shut  the  window,  and  her  re- 
jected adorer  passed  sorrowfully  onward, 
tottering  a  little  in  his  gait,  as  failing  eld- 
erly gentlemen  are  wont  to  do. 

It  was  Mr.  Hollowbread. 


CILVPTER  LII. 

MK.  DRUMMOXD  SUCCEEDS  MR.  HOLLOW- 
BREAD. 

Mr.  Jake  Pike  hastened  in  hot -footed 
wrath  to  expose  to  Sj'kes  Drummond  how 
ho  had  been  gouged  and  chiseled,  as  ho  po- 
etically expressed  it,  by  Josie  Murray. 

The  tale  was  in  itself  so  entertaining,  and 
some  of  the  narrator's  resentful  commenta- 
ries upon  it  were  so  whimsical,  that  the  Con- 
gressman could  not  help  laughing  from  time 
to  time,  in  that  rasping,  snorting,  startling 
haw,  haw !  of  his,  the  counterpart  of  two 
hoots  fi'om  a  locomotive. 

"  Mr.  Drummond,  how  much  your  laugh  is 
like  the  cawing  of  a  crow !"  said  Jake,  get- 
ting irritated  at  this  misplaced  hilarity.  "  I 
never  noticed  it  before  ;  but  really  it  is  A-ery 
like  it.  Haw,  haw!  Caw,  caw !  Exactly 
like  it." 

Rendered  pensive  by  this  comparison, 
which  seemed  to  him  inappropriate,  disagree- 
able and  ungentlemanly,  Sykes  suspended 
his  merriment  for  a  Avhile,  to  the  satisfaction 
and  triumjih  of  Pike. 


"  I  rather  look  to  you  to  make  this  account 
square,"  continued  tho  lobl)yist,  speaking 
somewhat  out  of  his  frctfulness,  but  also  be- 
lieving that  Avhat  ho  suggested  Avas  only 
justice.  Unattainable  justice,  ])robably;  but 
none  the  less  a  beautiful  and  alluring  ideal ; 
nono  tho  less  Avortli  asking  for. 

"  Then  you  will  look  a  great  Avhile,"  said 
Drunnnond.  "  I  should  bo  sorry  to  keep  a 
man  of  your  tender  sonsilnlities  in  suspense. 
You  made  your  own  bargain,  and  you  took 
your  own  risk.  Besides,  if  you  are  out,  so 
am  I.     Have  I  asked  j'ou  to  i)ay  mcf" 

"  No,  but  you'll  boiTow  it  of  me  some  day, 
and  that'll  be  tho  last  of  tho  business  as  far 
as  my  pocket  is  concerned.  Besides,  that 
an't  a  complete  and  exhaustive  view  of  this 
Avhole  question.  "What  I  contend  for,  and 
haA'o  contended  for  for  j'oars,  is  that  there 
ought  to  be  responsibility  somewhere,  and 
that  it  should  rest  upon  Congress.  ^Yhat  I 
contend  for  is,  that  when  a  member  recom- 
mends one  of  his  constituents  to  his  agent, 
he  ought  to  be  bound  to  see  tho  agent  out 
of  the  woods ;  and  that,  if  tho  constituent 
fails  to  pony  up  honorably,  then  the  member 
should  make  it  good,  or  at  least  go  his  share 
on  the  losses." 

"  Yes,  and  have  the  jobs  allotted  by  the 
President,  so  many  dollars'  worth  to  each 
district,"  grinned  Sykes.  "Double  allow- 
ance to  Senators,  I  suppose  ?  That  would 
be  carrying  the  Congressional  system  a  deuce 
of  a  ways.  I  don't  ol)ject  to  your  plan,  Jake, 
if  it  can  be  made  general.  But  there's  no 
such  understanding  afoot  yet,  and  you  may 
bet  all  your  x^rofits  for  this  session  that  I 
sha'n't  initiate  it." 

"  I  didn't  exj)ect  you  to,  on  general  prin- 
ciples. It's  a  plan  that  will  require  com- 
bination and  discussion  before  it  can  be 
rightly  inceived,  or,  in  other  words,  brought 
to  a  judicious  iuceiition.  But,  speaking  of 
this  particular  case  now,  they  say  you  are 
agoing  to  marry  the  lady.  If  so,  what  she 
saves,  you  save.  It  might  look  to  some  folks 
as  though  her  chiseling  mo  was  a  put-up 
job  betwixt  you  two." 

" Come,  come,  old  man!"  Drummond  re- 
monstrated. But  he  broke  out  laughing 
again,  so  callous  Avas  he  to  insinuations  of 
dishonor,  either  against  himself  or  against 
tlie  woman  to  Avhom  he  was  betrothed. 
"  You  are  getting  beyond  the  facts  there, 
and  CA'en  beyond  your  rights  in  stating  fic- 
tions. However,  just  to  so<jthe  your  feelings 
and  make  business  pleasant  for  the  future, 
I'll  agree  to  one  thing.  If  I  marry  the  lady, 
I  will  pay  you  the  ten  thousand.  And  if  I 
don't  marry  her,"  ho  added,  Avitli  ono  of  his 
confident  grins,  "  I'll  make  good  the  four 
hundred  you  have  spent." 

''Let  mo  haAO  it  on  paper,"  said  Jake. 
''  By  George !  hereafter  I  want  things  on 
j)aper." 

"  Haw,  haw !"  roared  Sykes,  quite  forget- 


180 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


ting  the  corvine  comparison.  "  Put  it  on 
paper  yourself,  if  you  are  afraid  of  forgetting 
it.  Stick  it  into  your  next  relief-bill.  Let 
it  go  on  the  record.  By-the-way,  I  may  as 
■well  step  around  and  see  Mrs.  Murray.  Per- 
haps I  can  persuade  ber  into  paying  you  by 
agreeing  to  let  ber  off  from  marrying  me, 
Law,  baw !" 

"  Keep  your  eye  peeled,"  counseled  Pike, 
seriously.  "You'll  need  all  tbe  sight  you've 
got  to  draw  a  bead  on  ber.  She  sutteulj' 
out-dodges  and  out-sriuats  all  tbe  turkeys 
that  ever  I  bunted." 

So  Drummoud  got  rid  of  bis  jobber,  and 
made  a  call  on  bis  betrothed.  To  her,  bow- 
ever,  be  said  nothing  about  ber  dues  to  Mr. 
Pike,  that  being  an  affair  which  could  be 
easiest  managed  after  the  marriage,  if  indeed 
he  should  ever  think  best  to  come  to  it. 

"  I  wonder  you  can  stay  in  Washington," 
■was  Josie's  first  speech  to  him,  surely  a 
strange  one  for  an  engaged  lady.  "  The 
place  is  horribly  dull,  now  that  Congress  has 
broken  ivj).  1  wouldn't  have  thought  that 
those  two  or  three  hundred  heavy  gentle- 
men could  make  such  a  vacuum  in  society." 

"Ah,  you  are  out  of  work,"  said  Drum- 
mond.  "  You  are  a  busy  little  humming- 
bird, and  now  that  you  have  nothing  else  to 
flutter  about,  you  ought  to  turn  your  mind 
to  the  District  Government.  There  is  sweet- 
ness and  light  for  you.  Public  building 
contracts,  grading  and  paving  contracts, 
banking  commissions  and  interests — it  al- 
most equals  national  legislation.  By  Jove! 
when  I  look  at  the  multitudes  which  are  sit- 
ting down  everywhere  to  tbe  public  loaves 
and  fishes,  I  think  that  there  will  soon  be  no 
fragments  to  take  up,  short  of  another  mir- 
acle. A  John  Bull  told  me  yesterday  that 
there  is  no  such  thing  known  in  England  as 
a  municipal  ring  or  a  thieving  mayor.  That 
is  what  any  American  of  the  present  day 
would  set  down  as  a  fairy  story." 

"  Dear  me !  there  isn't  a  bit  of  liberty  in 
England,  is  there  ?"  smiled  Josio.  "  See 
what  it  is  to  be  ruled  by  a  selfish  aristocracy. 
But  I  hate  your  perpetual  chuckling  over 
our  picking  and  stealing.  It  is  all  very  well 
to  live  by  it,  if  one  can't  live  any  other  way, 
and  if  it  is  the  fashion.  But  it  isn't  nice  at 
all  to  talk  of  it  so  much,  and  to  giggle  about 
it.  A  iierson  may  do  wrong,  and  yet  waul 
to  do  better,  and  so  be  tolerably  decorous 
and  decent,  as  I  am." 

"  Hypocrisy  is  the  established  religion  of 
some  persons ;  yes,  and  of  some  nations." 

"  It  is  better  than  open  bragging  of  naugh- 
tiness, and  guffawing  about  it,"  afQrmcd  Jo- 
sie,  reproachfully. 

"  You  are  very  bard  on  your  advocate  and 
adorer  this  evening.  Your  advocate  and 
adorer  prostrates  himself  and  asks  pardon." 
"Well,  you  deserve  so  many  whippings, 
Sykes!  You  don't  know  the  first  thing 
about  women.     They  like,  above  all  things, 


a  fair  outside.  They  admire  the  iron  band, 
to  be  sure,  but  they  want  the  velvet  glove 
all  over  it.  Now,  tell  me  something  nice — 
something  besides  lobbyism  —  disgusting 
business !  I  never  mean  to  speak  to  a  lob- 
byist again  as  long  as  I  live,"  she  declared, 
remembering  with  indignation  Jake  Pike's 
extortions  and  impudence.  "  Is  there  noth- 
ing stirring  which  is  jileasaut  ?  Is  nobody 
married  or  dead  ?" 

"  They  say  that  Colonel  Murray  is  going 
to  give  Belle  Warden  fifty  thousand  dollars 
for  a  wedding  settlement,"  said  Drummoud, 
thinking  it  wise  to  remind  bis  betrothed 
that  Bradford  was  lost  to  her. 

"As  a  settlement!"  repeated  Josie,  gnaw- 
ing her  heart  in  jealous  pain.  "  Such  things 
sometimes  get  unsettled,"  she  could  not  help 
adding.  "There's  many  a  slip  'twixt  cup 
and  lip." 

"Not  often  when  the  cup  is  so  well  gild- 
ed," laughed  Drummoud,  imprudently. 

As  we  have  said,  he  had  given  up  his  haw, 
haw !  in  a  great  measure,  unless  be  was  in 
such  vulgar  and  subordinate  company  as 
that  of  Jake  Pike,  where  be  felt  perfectly 
at  liberty  to  domineer.  But  sometimes, 
even  in  his  afiianced  one's  presence,  he  fell 
back  into  it  through  old  habit  and  disagree- 
able instinct. 

Out  of  the  corner  of  her  lustrous  eyes 
Josie  gave  him  a  furtive  glance,  very  pretty 
to  look  at,  and  yet  almost  menacing. 

She  remembered  bow  her  own  cup  had 
been  gilded,  and  queried  Avhetber  Drum- 
mond's  lips  were  watering  for  the  gold 
alone,  or  for  her  also.  Bradford  lost  and 
Hollowbread  dismissed,  she  sometimes  want- 
ed this  man  as  a  comfort  to  ber  heart  and  a 
protector  to  her  loneliness,  and  sometimes, 
when  be  was  particularly  bearish,  wanted 
to  get  rid  of  him. 

"  May  I  ask  what  3-ou  are  reading  ?"  in- 
quired Drummoud,  suspecting  that  be  bad 
caused  annoyance,  and  wishing  to  change 
the  subject. 

"'La  Comtesse  de  Cbalis,'and  it  is  very 
interesting,"  said  Josie.  "  Do  let  me  finish 
tbe  page." 

She  bad  just  reached  that  wonderful  pas- 
sao'e  where  the  noble  and  beautiful  heroine 
makes  a  superb  gesture  of  bravado,  aiul  then, 
"  with  a  resolution  perfectly  cool,  perfectly 
patrician,"  jumps  upon  tbe  young  professor's 
knees  and  throws  ber  arms  around  his  neck. 

It  was  so  entmhtanf,  tbe  recollection  of 
this  delicious  passage,  that  Josie  of  a  sudden 
dropped  ber  book,  rustled  over  to  her  Con- 
gressman, and  went  through  tbe  same  per- 
formance with  him.  Perhaps  avo  may  sus- 
pect that  it  was  lucky  for  Drummoud  that 
bo,  and  not  some  other  young  gentleman, 
was  in  the  room  at  the  time.  However,  not 
thinking  of  this,  and  being  a  person  of  an 
emotional  temperament,  bo  was  properly 
touched  by  the  demonstration. 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


181 


"I  am  oWigeil  to  yoii,  my  dear  pussy,"  ho 
said,  after  some  other  lip-service  of  a  thauk- 
ful  nature. 

By-the-way,  it  is  wonderful  to  think  how 
many  pet  names  this  pretty  creature  had 
won  since  she  was  bii;:  enough  to  sit  in  mas- 
culine laps.  She  had  been  one  man's  dar- 
ling, another  man's  dear  child,  another  man's 
chicken,  another  man's  pussy,  and  so  on — 
quite  a  long  string  of  them. 

"  You  are  very  good  and  sweet  to  do  this," 
continued  Drummond.  "  But,  do  you  know, 
it  makes  me  impatient  ?  "When  Avill  you  lix 
the  day  f ' 

"  Oil,  what  a  hurry !"  returned  Josie,  with 
an  alluring  pout.  "Can't  you  look  at  the 
morning  star  without  wanting  the  sun  to 
rise  in  the  same  minute  V 

"I  like  the  morning  star.  Eut  I  some- 
times fear  that  the  sun  Avill  never  rise. 
What  if  I  should  lose  you  ?  What  if  my 
venerable  rival  should  return  in  triumph  ?" 
he  concluded,  spoiling  the  whole  speech  with 
one  of  his  chai-actcristic  turns  of  coarseness. 

"  You  needn't  worry ;  the  poor  man  is  gone 
for  good,"  replied  Josie,  rising  from  her  seat 
with  a  slight  sense  that  it  was  a  rough  one. 

"  How  did  the  old  fellow  bear  it  ?"  grinned 
Drummond,  not  even  seeing  that  he  had  an- 
noyed her,  and  much  less  suspecting  how. 

"  He  bore  it  admirably,"  said  Josie,  remem- 
bering with  pleasure  how  she  had  been  wor- 
shiped and  clung  to  by  Ilollowbread.  "  He 
bore  it  so  well,  that  I  sometimes  want  him 
back." 

"Come,  pussy,  you  must  not  be  angry 
with  me,"  remonstrated  the  lover,  divining 
her  vexation  at  last.  "  I  don't  mean  to  bo 
hard  on  Nestor  for  admiring  you.  I  ought 
to  thank  him  for  it.  He  raises  the  value  of 
the  article — of  7ny  article.  Won't  you  take 
your  seat  again  V 

"  I  want  to  talk  business,"  responded  Jo- 
sie, seeking  relief  in  a  chair.  "  How  shall  I 
invest  my  money  ?  Lots  of  people  are  com- 
ing to  me,  and  writing  to  me  about  invest- 
ments, and  sending  me  circulars,  and  adver- 
tising almanacs,  and  religious  papers  with 
puffs  in  them.  I  think  they  must  talk  of 
me  all  day,  and  dream  of  me  all  night.  I 
could  paper  a  room  with  their  communica- 
tions." 

"Don't  invest  till  I  can  look  about  and 
advise  you.  Almost  everj^  thing  in  the 
country  is  watered,  and  is  as  dangerous  as 
the  Dismal  Swamp.  You  might  as  well  in- 
vest in  the  Gulf  Stream  as  in  these  adver- 
tised undertakings.  We  must  look  for  things 
that  are  not  putfed.  Wait  till  I  can  find 
something  solid." 

"What  do  you  think  of  railroads,  ocean 
steam-lines,  mines  in  Colorado,  (juarries  of 
Florida  marble,  and  that  sort  of  trilles  ?  I 
could  buy  millions  of  any  one  of  them." 

"  Don't  buy  a  cent's  worth  of  any  thing 
till  I  see  it.     Confound  this  herd  of  specula- 


tors and  swindlers!  They  have  no  right  to 
follow  you  uj)  in  such  a  fashion.  However, 
it  is  one  of  the  penalties  of  being  a  success- 
ful claimant.  Your  luck  has  made  a  noise, 
I  can  tell  you.  All  the  cheats  in  Washing- 
ton are  talking  about  it,  and  half  the  honest 
people — that  despised  minority!" 

"And  savagely  enough,  I  suppose?"  que- 
ried Josie,  wondering  if  Jacob  I'ike  had  com- 
plained of  her.  "  Has  auj'  body  abused  mo 
to  you  ?" 

"They  wouldn't  be  likely  to  do  that." 

"Have  you  told  of  our  engagement  ?"  she 
instantly  asked.  "  You  must  not — not  yet 
a  Avhile.  Only  think  of  what  a  position  it 
would  put  mo  iu  before  the  jieople !  Off 
with  the  old  lovo  and  on  with  the  new,  ev- 
ery body  would  say,  and  te-he  and  shaw-shaw 
about  it  at  an  awfnl  rate.  I  have  done  just 
right,  and  just  what  any  woman  would  do; 
but"  (and  here  she  laughed)  "I  don't  want 
any  body  to  know  it,  and  no  woman  would. 
So  we  must  keep  our  understanding  to  our- 
selves for  a  while  longer." 

"  Certainly,"  guftawed  Drummond,  forget- 
ting himself,  and  showing  quite  too  much 
triumph. 

That  laugh  of  his,  that  conceited  and  de- 
fiant and  insolent  cock-a-doodle-doo,  had 
probably  done  him  more  damage  in  life  than 
all  his  blunders  and  his  sins,  such  a  revela- 
tion was  it  of  his  opinions,  feelings,  and  pur- 
poses, as  well  as  such  an  assault  upon  the 
sensibilities  of  others.  In  the  present  case, 
it  informed  Josie  that  he  had  boasted  pub- 
licly of  the  engagement,  that  he  had  done 
it  with  a  view  to  "  nail  her,"  and  that  ho 
thought  he  had  succeeded.  She  asked  him 
no  questions,  but  she  took  his  guilt  for  grant- 
ed, and  she  resolved  to  punish  him. 

It  must  be  understood  that,  although  she 
was  a  wild  and  headlong  coquette,  she  did 
not  want  the  name  of  being  one,  and  sup- 
posed that  she  had  somehow  escaped  that 
repute. 

All  sly  and  habitual  sinners,  providing 
they  are  not  openly  and  sharply  overhauled 
for  their  misdeeds,  imagine  that  they  deceivo 
society.  They  believe  iu  precautions  which 
are  transparently  futile,  and  in  explanations 
and  self-defenses  which  are  privatelj'  laugh- 
ed at.  The  real  reason  why  they  are  not 
haled  to  judgment  is  simply  this,  that  the 
world  has  not  time  to  attend  to  all  its  petty 
malefactors. 

Well,  Josie  believed  that  Sykes  had  play- 
ed her  a  trick  and  done  her  a  harm.  Sho 
chastised  him  by  being  "out"  when  he  call- 
ed, for  two  days  together,  and  also  by  failing 
to  answer  the  notes  which  ho  left  for  her. 
Eemembering  her  llirtishness,  and  also  what 
a  prize  she  was  iu  various  ways,  and  being, 
moreover,  considerably  iu  love  with  her,  af- 
ter his  taurian  fashion,  Drimmioud  became 
somewhat  alarmed. 

Perhaps  nobody  but  a  very  able  man  and 


182 


PLAYING  THE  MISCEIEF. 


esperieuced  wire-puller  could  have  devised  a 
greater  blunder  than  lac  committed  on  this 
occasion,  under  the  belief  that  it  was  an  in- 
spiration of  genius.  After  deep  meditation 
on  the  waywardness  of  coquettes,  on  their 
indifference  to  bird^  in  the  hand,  and  their 
hankering  after  birds  in  the  bush,  he  put 
himself  into  the  wild-wood  in  the- following 
elaborate  fashion : 

"My  dear  Josie  "  (.he  wrote  her), —  "  You 
liave  not  received  me  for  two  days  past. 
May  I  ask,  in  all  kindness,  if  you  have  tired 
of  me  ?  I  must  remember  that  your  situa- 
tion has  changed  since  the  day  I  was  hapjiy 
enough  to  secure  the  promise  of  your  hand, 
and  the  gift,  as  I  then  trusted,  of  your  heart. 
You  were  then  in  moderate  circumstances ; 
you,  perhaps,  stood  in  need  of  a  protector. 
Now  you  are  rich,  and  can  suffice  for  your- 
self, and  can  do  without  me.  Do  not,  I  ear- 
nestly beg  of  you,  suppose  that  I  wish  to  get 
free  from  my  engagement,  or  that  I  could 
part  with  you,  even  at  your  desire  and  for 
your  good,  without  great  suffering.  I  only 
wish  to  be  kind,  to  be  honorable,  and  to  show 
myself  truly  loving.  For  this  reason  alone, 
and  for  the  sole  purpose  of  sacrificing  myself, 
if  need  be,  to  your  happiness,  I  set  you  free 
from  your  engagement.  But  to-morrow  I 
shall  call  again,  shall  beg  to  see  a  lady  who 
is  now  as  much  above  me  in  fortune  as  in  all 
things  else,  and  shall  renew  my  offer  of  mar- 
riage. Very  respectfully  and  very  lovingly, 
yours,  Sykes  Dkujihoxd." 

It  was  a  good  letter,  ho  said  to  himself. 
It  was  magnanimous  and  every  way  hand- 
some ;  at  the  same  time  it  was  perfectly 
self-respectful  and  dignified ;  it  would  nail 
her,  if  any  thing  could.  So,  after  much  hes- 
itation, after  deciding  for  it  and  against  it 
several  times,  he  dispatched  it  by  a  messen- 
ger. 

Well,  the  epistle  hit  its  intended  mark  ;  it 
actuallj'^  made  Josie  fond  of  him.  She  wrote 
back  immediately : 

"My  dearest  Friexd, — How  could  you 
so  misjudge  me  ?  Be  sure  you  keep  your 
promise  to  come  and  see  me. 

"  Your  Little  Pussy." 

That  night  she  lay  awake  for  hours,  won- 
dering if  he  wanted  to  break  with  her,  and 
saying  to  herself  that  she  would  not  let  him 
go,  that  it  would  make  her  wretched,  etc. 

The  next  day,  by  the  merest  accident,  and 
meaning  the  Avhile  to  greet  him  with  a  deli- 
cious love-scene,  she  liappened  to  bo  out  when 
he  called.  What  could  Drununoud  do  (pur- 
posing, of  course,  to  be  sclf-respcctful  and 
irresistible),  but  scribble  upon  a  card,  "  Un- 
lucky to-day,  hope  to  bo  happier  to-morrow," 
and  leave  it  for  Mrs.  Murray  ? 

It  was  enough  for  Josie ;  sho  saw  that  she 


could  have  him  if  she  wanted  him ;  and  she 
found,  with  some  little  shame,  that  she  did 
not  want  him.  After  very  brief  pondering 
she  rallied  the  hardihood  to  write  him  as 
follows : 

"  Perhaps  your  first  impulse  was  right — 
yes,  it  was  wiser  than  mine.  Your  conduct 
in  this  matter  has  been  sweet  and  noble ; 
but,  above  all  things,  it  has  been  wise.  I 
fear  that,  if  we  should  undertake  life's  great 
journey  together,  you  would  soon  find  me 
too  exacting,  while  I  might  find  you  too 
masterful.  Let  us  separate  while  wo  can 
do  it  in  kindness,  and  continue  the  best  of 
friends.  I  accept  with  thanks  your  release 
from  our  partial  understanding,  and  remain 
your  friend  only,  but  sincerely  your  friend, 
"Josie  Murray." 

Those  who  know  Mr.  Drummond  intimate- 
ly, and  those  who  have  had  the  startling  good 
fortune  to  listen  to  him  in  his  moments  of 
^panchement,  can  imagine  how  he  blasphemed 
over  this  letter.  One  comment,  however,  is 
sufficiently  decorous  for  quotation,  and  suffi- 
ciently keen  to  be  worthy  of  it. 

"  She  does  not  even  thank  me  for  my  serv- 
ices," he  said.  "  In  any  body  else  I  should 
call  that  singular  ingratitude !" 


CHAPTER  LIII. 

cave   CAXEIX. 

To  show  the  different  dispositions  of  Josie's 
two  latest  lovers,  and  also  to  indicate  the 
divergent  roads  of  feeling  by  which  they 
dejiarted  from  her,  we  must  positively  sketch 
a  scene  which  befell  between  them. 

One  of  the  first  things  which  Drummond 
did  after  his  refusal  was  to  look  up  the  rival 
■whom  ho  had  supplanted.  They  chanced 
to  meet  by  twilight  in  the  little  square  op- 
posite the  White  House,  a  place  "svhich  Hol- 
lowbread  now  frequented  much  in  the  dim 
and  tender  hours  of  the  day,  because  there  he 
had  often  walked  aforetime  with  his  Josie. 

"Aha,  old  boy !"  exclaimed  Sykes,  in  his 
loud  waj'.  "  Here  we  are  in  the  same  boat. 
Cheer  up.  I  am  a  fellow -sufferer — haw, 
haw!" 

"  I  don't  understand  you,  Mr.  Drummond," 
replied  Hollowbi'cad,  glancing  about  him 
with  a  Avorried,  eager  expression,  as  if  ho 
would  have  liked  to  run  away. 

Ho  looked  the  image  of  feeble  wretched- 
ness, dilapidated  iu  body  aiul  broken  in 
spirit.  There  were  broad  cloudings  of  gray 
amidst  his  lead-colored  hair,  a  stubbly,  griz- 
zled beard  all  over  his  cheeks,  chin,  and 
throat,  and  a  broad  streak  of  white  arouiul 
the  roots  of  his  nuistache.  His  face  was  fallen 
and  flabby ;  there  Avero  furrows  on  each  side 
of  his  mouth  so  fresh  and  deep  that  they 


PLAYING  THE  mSCHIEF. 


183 


looked  liko  -svoumls;  and  Lis  dim,  watery, 
timorous  eyes  were  set  iu  a  net -work  of 
tremnlous,  skinuy  puckers.  It  was  obvious 
that  bo  liad  lost  stones  of  weight,  and  also 
that  he  had  thrown  aside  his  harness  of 
springs  and  bandages.  His  arms  no  longer 
filled  the  sleeves  which  they  had  once  fitted 
iu  such  a  noble,  sausage-liko  manner,  while 
Lis  shrunken  abdomen  hung  in  a  loose  pouch 
which  reminded  one  of  the  build  of  an  opos- 
sum. That  wondrous  suit  (the  masterpiece 
of  a  conscientious  tailor),  which  had  cased 
80  exactly  a  uiade-up  man  of  two  hundred 
and  fifty,  bagged  awkwardly,  and  one  might 
almost  say  sorrowfully,  around  a  natural 
man  of  rather  less  than  two  hundred. 

"  You  are  not  looking  well,  Mi\  Hollow- 
bread,"  observed  Drummoud,  surprised  into 
something  liko  compassion. 

"  I  can"t  get  any  sleep,"  answered  the  old 
gentleman,  in  a  piteous  tone  of  complaint — 
the  tone  of  a  brokeu  man,  of  an  iu  valid. 

'•'  Come,  my  dear  fellow,  let  us  be  frank," 
continued  Drummoud,  laying  a  hand,  meant 
to  be  amiable,  on  a  cringing  shoulder.  '■  I 
know  why  you  stick  iu  Washington,  as  well 
as  why  I  stick  here.  "\Ve  have  done  our 
best,  both  of  us.  But  our  term  is  over,  and 
we  may  as  well  go  home.  We  are  both  un- 
seated by  the  same  little  game,  aud  by  the 
same  little  wire-puller.  I  have  just  been 
sacked  by  Mrs.  Murray." 

"  You  I"  stared  Hollovrbread,  his  limp  face 
suddenly  reddening  and  twitching. 

'•  Yes.  You  won't  believe,  perhaps,  that 
I  have  been  engaged  to  her.  But  so  it  is — 
haw,  haw !" 

''I  don't  believe  it,  sir — it  can't  be.  sir — I 
won't  believe  it!"  stammered  the  half-para- 
lyzed man,  hastily  aud  almost  iucompreheu- 
sibly. 

"  It  is  just  as  true  as  the  Constitution.  I 
was  engaged  to  her  a  mouth  ago." 

"  It  is  false,  sir — as  false  as  hell !"  respond- 
ed HoUowbread,  iu  something  like  a  shout, 
Lis  fiice  perfectly  crimson. 

'•'  Oh,  that  may  do  iu  Congress," said  Sykes, 
recognizing  and  smiling  at  the  familiar 
phrase  of  the  honorable  member  who  rises 
to  denounce  an  aspersion.  "  I  have  used 
the  simile  myself,  perhaps.  But  look  here  ; 
here  is  her  last  note  to  me.     Read  that." 

Mr.  HoUowbread  would  not  read;  but  he 
was  so  far  crushed  by  this  readiness  to  pro- 
duce testimony  that  he  could  not  help  be- 
lieving ;  nor  could  he  quite  suppress  au  in- 
distinct groan  of  "  Is  it  possible  !" 

*■  Oh,  indeed  it  is  possible  and  highly  prob- 
able— haw,  haw!"  declared  Drummoud. 

He  was  full  of  viudictivcuess ;  he  wanted 
to  hurt  the  woman  who  had  jilted  him;  he 
would  have  been  glad  to  prevent  her  from 
ever  again  having  an  adorer.  Fearful  lest 
HoUowbread  might  yet  go  back  to  her,  he 
was  eager  to  inject  into  him  some  of  his  own 
venom. 


'"'  You  didn't  know  her,  my  dear  follow," 
he  continued.  ''I  don't  know  her.  I  don't 
believe  she  knows  herself.  I  don't  believo 
she  knows  for  two  days  together  wliat  she 
is  likely  to  do,  or  what  she  wants.  But  one 
thing  I  do  know — you  have  had  a  deuced 
good  riddance.     .She  is  the  most  infernal — " 

"  Stoji,  sir!"  hissed  HoUowbread,  fiercely, 
turning  upon  him,  with  one  shaking  list  up- 
lifted. '•  I  will  have  nothing  said  against 
that  dear  lady.  I  will  not  hear  a  word  to 
her  disparagement,  sir — not  a  word  I'' 

"Oh,  very  well!"  nodded  Sykes,  with  a 
stare  of  wonder,  coolly  amused  with  this  ex- 
traordinary case  of  lidelity,  of  abused  lovo 
which  would  not  cease  loving.  "As  you 
fancy,  of  course.  But  let  mo  give  you  one 
piece  of  advice,  my  dear  fellow.  You  are 
looking  badly,  and  you  need  care.  Go  Lome 
to  your  relatives  for  the  rest  of  the  vaca- 
tion." 

Not  deigning  to  reply,  and  feeling  that  he 
Lad  spoken  his  last  word  to  Sykes  Drum- 
moud, Mr.  HoUowbread  wheeled  slowly,  aud 
tottered  away. 

i      "  By  Jove!  he  is  really  iu  love  with  her," 

muttered  the  man  of  thirty.     '"Who  would 

,  have  thought  au  old  fellow  could  love  like 

that  ?      Well,   one    learns    something   new 

every  day — somethiug  new  about  one's  fel- 

I  low-idiots." 

I      Then  he,  too,  stalked  ofi",  walking  with  his 
'  usual  firm,  strong  step,  his  pugnacious  head 
I  bent  forward  a  little,  like  a  bull  musing  of 
battles. 

!      Of  a  sudden,  as  he  i>assed  a  thicket  of  ever- 
I  greens,  he  ran  against  some  comparatively 
slight  figure  and  knocked  it  aside.     By  the 
dim  twilight  he  recognized  the  rounded  out- 
lines and  wiUowy  movement  of  Sipiire  Xaucy 
j  Appleyard. 

"  Mr.  Drummoud !''  exclaimed  the  Bloomer, 
!  in  a  gasp  which  confessed  palpitating  emo- 
tion, as  well  as  the  shock  of  the  cidlision. 

'•  Well,  what  do  you  waut  now  ?"'  demand- 
ed Sykes,  harshly,  for  he  was  iu  one  of  Lis 
most  unlovely  tempers,  and  this  woman  Lad 
bothered  him  much. 

'•  I  want  to  know  whether  you  ever  think 
of  your  promise  to  marry  me,"  was  the  an- 
swer— precisely  the  answer  he  had  expected. 

"  I  was  just  thinking  of  it,"  he  said. 

"And  what  — "  she  began  imthetically, 
fooled  by  her  hopes. 

'•  I  was  just  thinking  I  wouldn't  do  it,"  he 
concluded,  with  a  sardonic  grin. 

"Mr.  Drummoud!"  shrieked  the  squire, 
putting  her  hand  behind  her,  as  if  to  draw 
either  a  weapon  or  a  handkerchief. 

"Look  here !"' ho  snarled.  "If  you  pull 
any  more  popguns  on  me.  I'll  break  theui 
across  your  empty  head.     Now,  mind !" 

She  made  no  reply,  but  she  Avas  evidently 
dismayed  by  his  threat,  and,  after  a  short 
struggle  to  govern  herself,  burst  out  sobbing. 

Not  in  the  least  pitying  her,  but  rather 


184 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


pleased  to  see  ■what  power  lie  liail  over  her 
weak  uerves,  be  gave  her  auother  ■warning 
glare,  and  marched  on.  Scarcely  had  he 
gone  ten  stejis,  however,  ere  he  heard  the  re- 
port of  a  pistol  behind  him. 

He  wheeled,  ran  back  to  Sqnire  Appleyard, 
caught  her  by  the  arm,  shook  her  soundly, 
and  set  her  down  hard  on  a  bench. 

'•'  I  told  you  not  to  lire  at  me,  you  idiot !"' 
he  said.     "  Where  is  the  pistol?" 

"It  went  off  in  my  pocket,"  returned  Miss 
Nancy,  beginning  to  cry.  "And  I  don't  know 
but  I'm  shot." 

"  Get  it  out  for  me,"  he  ordered.  "I  don't 
want  to  bother  with  the  mysteries  of  that 
coat — or  whatever  you  call  it." 

It  was  really  di'eadful.  Here  was  a  man 
who  would  not  permit  himself  to  be  shot  ei- 
ther by  night  or  by  day.  There  was  no  prec- 
edent in  the  history  of  American  heroines 
for  the  treatment  of  such  a  willful,  irration- 
al, and  brutal  wretch.  The  Jael  of  Califor- 
nia herself,  that  spotless  and  {earless protegee 
of  the  eloquent  strong-minded,  would  have 
been  jierplexed  to  deal  with  a  wretch  who 
thus  abused  his  superior  strength. 

After  some  tremulous  fumbling,  fearful 
lest  there  should  be  another  awful  bang,  and 
sobbing  the  while  as  if  her  heart  would  burst 
with  a  report.  Squire  Ajipleyard  produced  the 
pistol. 

Drummond  took  it,  put  it  in  his  pocket, 
wheeled  around  in  silence,  and  coolly  tramp- 
ed onward,  with  the  air  of  one  who  had  turn- 
ed his  back  on  something  for  life. 

A  minute  later,  however,  as  this  rough  and 
tough  creature  passed  the  "  palatial  resi- 
dence "  of  that  eminent  banker,  Allchin,  he 
beheld  a  spectacle  which  made  him  start 
and  i)alpitate. 

A  carriage  drove  up,  and  from  it  descend- 
ed Josie  Murray,  magnificently  arrayed,  a  vis- 
ion of  beauty  to  dazzle  one.  In  the  portico 
she  turned,  seemed  to  recognize  him  as  he 
passed,  shook  her  large  fan  at  him  amicably, 
and  then  disappeared  within. 

"A  dinner-party,  I  sui^pose,"  muttered 
Drummond.  "  The  old  hyena  will  pick  her 
to  the  bones.  I  wish  him  a  good  ax^petite — 
haw,  haw !" 

Let  us  follow  Josie  into  the  Belshazzar 
scene  of  revelry  (we  cpiote  from  a  city  item 
of  the  Xewsmo))ger)  which  the  great  finan- 
ycier  had  evoked  from  the  magic  realms  of  his 
y purse.  The  dinner  was  given  in  her  honor 
as  a  queen  of  fashion,  as  a  power  in  politics, 
as  a  successful  claimant,  as  a  goose  v.orth 
picking. 

Allchin  hoped  to  furnish  forth  many  en- 
tertainments out  of  the  deposits  which  ho 
expected  to  coax  from  his  honored  guest. 
He  could  do  it  without  scruple,  for  it  was 
his  practice  to  look  upon  a  deposit  in  his 
bank  as  so  much  clear  iucomc,  and  to  use  it 
accordingly. 

This  man  was  one  of  the  wonders  and 


signs  of  our  financial  age.  He  was  the  in- 
carnation of  semi-genteel  impudence,  and  of 
half- conscious,  reputable  dishonesty.  The 
brass  with  which  he  could  recommend  a 
fraudulent  stock  to  a  widow,  or  a  retired 
clergyman,  or  an  old  friend,  might  not  be 
surpassed  in  lustre  by  any  other  banker  of 
our  times. 

Language  fails  us  in  attempting  to  do 
justice  to  this  instinctive,  remorseless,  and 
indiscriminate  plunderer.  He  would  cheat 
any  body,  old  or  young,  gentle  or  simple,  man 
or  woman,  saint  or  sinner,  with  the  same 
bland  greediness  and  impenitence.  He  had 
no  more  resiiect  for  age  or  sex  or  character, 
in  his  freebootings,  than  a  pirate.  He  would 
have  fleeced  Ruth  ;  he  would  have  swindled 
Florence  Nightingale ;  he  would  have  been 
very  glad  to  spoil  Miss  Burdett-Coutts.  Had 
he  been  one  of  the  apostles,  he  would  have 
jilayed  the  part  of  Judas,  and  got  a  much 
better  bargain,  and  never  have  hanged  him- 
self. Had  he  been  one  of  the  converts  of  the 
day  of  Pentecost,  he  would  have  gone  "  ca- 
hoots "  with  Ananias  and  Sapphira.  lu  short, 
he  was  one  of  our  greatest  financial  managers 
and  railroaders. 

"And  this  is  the  heroine  of  the  session!" 
said  Mr.  Allchin,  bowing  his  huge  body  over 
Josie,  and  speaking  iu  a  deep,  mellow  rum- 
ble, like  a  volcano  about  to  lay  waste  some 
flourishing  region.  "  This  is  the  magician 
who  turns  Congressmen  into  apes  and  lap- 
dogs,"  he  added,  with  sincere  admiration  of 
the  immoral  witchcraft. 

"I  did  use  them,  didn't  If  smiled  Josie, 
unable  to  repress  a  little  burst  of  vainglory, 
and  amusement  as  well. 

"Yes ;  and  abuse  them !"  grinned  Allchin, 
wagging  his  enormous  head  facetiously.  "  I 
must  beware.  I  may  get  enchanted  myself. 
I  may  become  one  of  the — the  victims,"  he 
concluded,  after  trying  iu  vain  to  remember 
some  poetical  simile. 

Then  he  iiresented  his  other  guests  to  her. 
Some  of  them  she  already  knew  x)ersoually, 
and  all  of  them  by  reputation. 

There  were  three  financiers  and  railroad- 
ers, sly,  purring  old  cats  of  the  business  hay- 
mow, with  very  soft  fur  and  very  long  claws, 
who  were  commonly  supposed  to  mouse  in- 
deiiendently  of  Allchin,  and  even  to  be  his 
rivals,  but  who  were  really  engaged  iu  a  vast 
secret  system  of  co-operation  with  him,  each 
helping  the  other  to  prey,  and  all  gobbling 
it  together. 

There  was  a  Now  York  broker,  a  dark, 
loan,  trim,  hard,  alert  gentleman,  reminding 
one  of  a  black-and-tan  terrier,  who  had  the 
fame  of  being  as  destructive  in  a  "corner"' 
as  the  other  beast  in  a  rat-bin,  and  who  was 
the  Wall  Street  agent  of  his  entertainer. 

There  was  a  lawyer  of  great  notoriety  and 
really  eminent  ability,  whose  solo  abomina- 
ble business  it  was  to  engiucer  private  bills 
through  Congress,  and  who  had 'earned  fees 


PLAYING  THE  MISCHIEF. 


185 


from  all  tbo  otlicr  prcdatorj'  advcntiirers 
there  present. 

There  were  the  tvIvcs  of  these  genteel 
"  sports,"  some  clever  and  gracious,  some 
stupid  and  vulgar,  but  all  magniliceutly  ar- 
rayed iu  the  spoils  of  linanciering,  and,  on 
the  whole,  line  enough  to  add  lustre  to  their 
hushaiuVs  varnish  of  respectability. 

Finally,  there  was  a  superb  woman  of 
thirty-live,  who  was  no  other  than  Mr.  All- 
chin's  own  claimant ;  the  claimant  whom 
ho  swore  by,  and  vonchcd  for,  and  recom- 
mended to  his  Avcalthy  friends,  and  backed, 
as  ho  asserted,  with  his  owu  money  ;  the 
greatest  claimant  that  had  ever  been  known 
iu  Washington,  or  in  all  our  favored  coun- 
try ;  a  claiuuint  who  had  no  less  than  nine- 
teeu  millions  iu  gold  duo  her.  Yes,  the 
whole  of  it  was  due  her;  she  had  never  col- 
lected a  cent  of  it. 

Of  course  a  lady  who  had  such  a  fortune 
coming  in  some  day  would  feel  free  to  bor- 
row all  she  needed,  and  could  aftbrd  to  be 
liberal  iu  the  matter  of  usury.  A  hundred 
per  cent,  was  what  she  allowed,  interest  be- 
ing payable  when  the  note  should  fall  due, 
and  the  note  falling  due  on  the  collection 
of  the  iirst  million.  The  loans  which  she 
had  gathered  iu  and  divided  with  the  noble 
banker  who  guaranteed  her  respectability 
were  already  beyond  computation. 

In  short,  it  was  a  gang  of  affiliated  black- 
legs, who  had  met  to  divide  the  winnings 
of  the  late  session,  and  who  were  willing,  by- 
the-way,  to  pluck  the  feathers  of  a  lucky 
novice. 

Will  Josie  escape  them  without  being 
stripped  of  the  golden  plumage  which  she 
has  filched  from  Uncle  Sam's  eagle  ?  It 
seems  hardly  possible.  If  she  dodges  All- 
chin's  marble  quarries,  there  are  the  Arizo- 
nian  mines ;  if  these  fail  to  ingulf  her, 
there  are  the  tumbling,  crusliing  stocks  of 


the  Groat  Alaska  Railroad;  if  she  evades 
these,  she  may  trip  anu)ng  the  corner.s  and 
margins  of  the  New  York  Exchange ;  every 
gentleman  present  has  his  rascally  trap  of 
well-baited  and  fatal  speculation. 

Finally,  there  is  the  wonderful  claimant, 
with  her  romantic  story  and  her  dazzling 
cent,  per  cent.,  no  doubt  the  most  dangerous 
tempter  of  them  all  to  Josie,  who  has  just 
pushed  a  claim  to  its  goal  easilj'  and  profit- 
ably, and  who  conseiiuently  believes  in  claim- 
antcy.  Alas  fur  her,  if  she  listens  to  these 
charmers!  She  will  soon  have  to  begin  the 
world  again. 

Perhaps  the  reader  may  suggest  that,  if 
she  lose  her  fortune,  she  may  marry  the 
rich  and  love-lorn  Hollowbread.  13ut  it  has 
been  revealed  to  us  that  a  legal  obstacle 
stands  iu  the  way  of  this  salvation.  Mr. 
Hollowbread,  on  reaching  his  relatives  (and 
heirs),  presently  made  known  to  them  a  de- 
termination to  will  all  his  property  to  Mrs. 
Augustus  Murray,  and  likewise  exhibited 
other  symptoms  of  what  they  considered — 
and  justly  considered  —  mental  alienation. 
Thereupon  they  got  out  a  commission  de 
hinatko  upon  him,  and  had  him  jdaccd  un- 
der a  conservator. 

It  is  saddening  to  leave  our  heroine  un- 
der the  shadow  of  such  threatening  circum- 
stances. She  had  her  pleasing  traits ;  she 
was  beautiful,  graceful,  clever,  entertaining, 
and  amiable ;  if  she  had  only  xiossessed 
truthfulness  and  honor,  she  would  have  been 
admirable.  One  can  hardly  help  wishing  her 
well  while  conceding  that  she  deserved  ill. 

But  money  easily  and  naughtily  won  is 
so  often  easily  and  foolishly  lost !  No  doubt, 
too,  Josie's  head  has  been  turned  by  her  pro- 
digious and  facile  success,  and  she  will  be 
exceptionally  ready  to  lly  in  the  face  of  niin. 
On  the  whole,  our  hopes  for  her  are  feeble 
—feebler  even  than  our  good-will. 


THE  END. 


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